Northman's Nanny
by VictoryInTrouble
Summary: He- gorgeous, successful, lonely single father. She- smart, friendly, awkward college senior. When they meet, there's an instant attraction but their working relationship should prevent anything from happening. However, good intentions are sometimes not good enough. M for strong language and sexual content. AU/AH Funny, sometimes heavy, but often joyful and sweet. Take a look!
1. Chapter 1

**Thanks for stopping by to read my new fic. For anyone reading We Wear the Mask, I will not be abandoning that story at all. I just can't get this story out of my head so I decided to start posting it too. You can expect at least weekly updates on both.**

**This fic is very different than Mask. The style is different and it's an all human story. It's a slow burn, I like sexual tension, but hopefully you will still enjoy it. This Eric Northman is a handsome, slightly bruised, single father and Sookie is a smart, friendly college student who goes to work for him. Please enjoy and please let me know what you think in a review.**

**Disclaimer: These are not my characters. They belong to Charlaine Harris, but I am dressing them up and taking them for a spin.**

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ERIC

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" I yell into the phone. "What the hell am I supposed to do? Yes, fine. You have one hour."

Dammit! I mutter and pace the living room. This just isn't my day. Thank God she is still asleep upstairs, I think as I look at her tiny head in the monitor. Another fucking nanny quit. Just my luck when I have a huge meeting this morning. The replacement from the agency better get here in time. I cannot be late this morning. As it is, I will have to miss my coffee and newspaper morning routine at my desk.

Of course right then, Annika wakes up. Shit! Luckily she is in a good mood in the morning but she won't be content in her crib for long. She'll need a change and a bottle soon and here I am in my best suit, waiting on another fucking nanny.

Anni is my 9 month old daughter. Her mother skipped out on us when she was born and I've been her sole caretaker ever since. Well, there are the nannies. Lots of nannies. Apparently, if you yell at them once or twice or work late a few times, they just up and quit on you. That's what happened to us this morning. I know things have been hectic because I am getting ready for this big meeting but she could have stayed until said meeting was actually over.

What was her name? Mindy? I think. Or maybe Marcia. Hell, what does it matter? She is gone. The agency is sending over someone else. Someone who has... 33 minutes to show up on my doorstep or get fired before she even starts!

When Annika starts crying, I know my time is up. Shit. I go to the kitchen to make a bottle and then up to Anni's room to pick her up. She is all smiles when she wakes up. She sure doesn't get that from me. My mood lightens a little as I gaze into Annika's blue eyes. She gets the blue eyes from me. The dark crop of curly hair on her head is from her mother. That is pretty much the extent of her involvement in our lives. Basically an egg donor. She decided when she found out she was pregnant that she wasn't cut out to be a mother. She didn't want an abortion and neither did I so that left me. She is the only thing I love in my life. The only bright spot. Her smile lights up her face and in turn, mine.

I know I need to pick her up but I don't want to ruin my suit so I do the only thing I can think of. I take off my jacket and lay it over the rocking chair in Anni's room and then do the same with my tie and shirt. I say a silent prayer to the wrinkle fairies so my shirt will stay crisp and then I drape a small blanket over my shoulder and pick up my princess.

"Hi baby girl!" I coo at her. She grabs my mouth and babbles to me. "We have a new nanny coming today. You'll have to tell me what you think of her after work," I smile.

As I walk downstairs my doorbell rings. About fucking time! The new nanny is here.

I open the door and the girl just stands there. What the hell? Is she stupid? Goddamn agency better not have sent a stupid girl to watch my baby.

"Yes?" I say sharply to the apparently mute blonde girl on my doorstep.

"Oh! Yes! Hi! My name is Sookie Stackhouse. I'm here from Care Solutions." She sticks out her hand. Huh, strange name.

I shift Annika in my arms to shake Blondie's hand and that's when I realize I am still bare chested. Shit. So very much not my day.

"Eric Northman. I, uh, didn't want to ruin my suit. The nanny is usually here before she wakes up so I was already dressed. Here." I push Annika into Sookie's arms and tell her to follow me as I walk upstairs.

"I have a huge meeting this morning so I don't have much time. You'll have to show yourself around. Here's Annika's room, she just woke up and needs a change. Her bottle is on the kitchen counter. There's a notebook about her day that the nannies keep so you'll have to look through that to find out her usual routine. She's a happy baby so you should be fine there. My office down the hall and my bedroom are off limits. Oh, and I have nannycams all over." I am finished putting my shirt and jacket on by the time I am done talking. So far this girl has not said a single thing. She is nodding along so I hope she's keeping up.

I rush back down the stairs with the nanny at my heels, give a quick kiss to Anni's soft curls and then am out the door.

As I drive from my Beacon Hill condo to downtown Boston, where I work, I have a momentary freak out thinking about the stranger in my house with my most precious possession. It's okay, I tell myself. There's a reason why I use the top nanny agency in the city. All the girls are thoroughly checked out and trained. Pull it together, Northman. Besides, I can always watch her on the cameras whenever I want.

Only I have no time to pull up the camera feed when I get to my desk. My secretary, Pam, follows me into my office and immediately launches into me. I say secretary, but Pam is much more than that really. She basically knows everything I know in regards to my position in the firm. If I die tomorrow, I have no doubt she could take up for me without hesitating. Yes, she is more like my second in command. And she always has my back. What's more, she is just about my only friend. Sure, I have plenty of casual friends that I hang out with, or used to hang out with before Annika, but Pam is the only person in my life that I know I can trust completely. Does that make me pathetic? Maybe, but the two girls in my life are all I need. Most of the time, anyway.

"Eric, where the fuck have you been?"

"It's nice to see you too, Pam," I chuckle. "Another nanny quit and the replacement took a while to get there," I tell her more seriously.

"Jesus, Eric! What's that? Like four nannies that have quit on you in nine months?"

"Three," I say rather indignantly.

"Oh, that's so much better. What are you doing to them that makes them want to run away?"

"Nothing! I can't help it if I have high standards! My Anni deserves the best!"

"Well, I can't argue with you there. Just try to keep this next one around, huh? You need to be on your best game for the next few months. Speaking of, the meeting is in five minutes. You ready?"

"I was born ready. Let's go."

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SOOKIE

The door is opened by a god. I don't know what else to call him. He is gorgeous, beautiful really. At eye level is his naked torso complete with chiseled abs and deliciously enticing V cut at his hips. My eyes sweep over his body and I like what I see. As I look at this towering half naked blonde god before me, I am never so sorry for my simple attire. I wore jeans, my chucks, and an old Weezer baseball style T. At least my chucks match my shirt? Both maroon. Honestly, for a second I don't even notice the baby in his arms. The baby I am there to care for. Shoot! How long have I been staring? Apparently long enough for this man to be pissed off by my lack of manners. Double shoot!

I introduce myself quickly and he immediately hands me said baby. He is in a huge rush as he races up the stairs to finish dressing. He tells me a whole list of stuff, walks back downstairs, kisses his baby, whose name I now know is Annika, and then leaves. Wow! I am slightly overwhelmed. The agency had warned me that Mr. Northman has a reputation for being difficult to work for but there wasn't much time to get any details. I'd had to shower and throw on my clothes in ten minutes to get here on time.

Okay, so... the baby. He said her bottle was in the kitchen. That's easy enough. I can see it from where I'm standing so I walk in there to get it and then go back to the living room to sit in the comfortable looking brown leather chair. As I tip the baby back for her bottle, I have a chance to get a good look at her.

"You are a beauty, little one," I croon. Just like your daddy. She smiles around her bottle and keeps on drinking. I know I need to find the nanny notebook or I'll have no idea about the rest of her schedule. I can see it's not on the living room table. Hopefully it's in the kitchen or the baby's room. I really don't want to go on a hunt for it. As I sit feeding Annika, I start to sing the song my Gran had sung to me when I was a child.

_Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,  
>Go to sleepy little baby<br>When you wake, you shall have  
>All the pretty little horses<em>

I get to the second verse before I remember what Mr. Northman said about the cameras. Oh crap. I hope he doesn't have sound or that he would fast forward if he watches it later. I can't carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it. I love to sing but that doesn't mean I am any good at it. Well, at least the baby didn't seem to mind. She is just smiling up at me. Thank God for an easy baby!

As soon as she is done with the bottle, I set about finding the nanny notebook. Nope, not in the kitchen. I go upstairs to her room to look for it. I spot it on her bookshelf along with some photos. I really have no idea what happened to Annika's mom, only that Mr. Northman is a single dad and mom is out of the picture. And she is... out of the picture. Not one photo depicts the baby with her mom. They are all of her and her dad. Or just her dad- hello! What is this? I pick up the picture. A younger Mr. Northman with long hair? Holy hotness! I have a thing for long hair and does this Viking god ever fill that slot! Too bad he cut it. Well, I guess not because he is my boss and I can't really be drooling over my boss... anymore than I have.

I place the photo back on the shelf with a sigh and pick up the notebook. Why can't I find a gorgeous man like this at school? Certainly no one I had met on campus looks like that. Shaking off my objectification, I flip through the notebook. Hmm, looks like multiple writing styles. I wonder how many nannies this guy has gone through? At least my job here will be temporary so hopefully I can last at least until school starts back up. I can last a month, right?

According to the notebook, I need to feed Annika some breakfast so down to the kitchen we go. I go about opening cabinets to find the baby food. Cans, cans, cans- um, someone fits the bachelor stereotype well! I open the last cabinet hoping to find what I need. Holy baby food, Batman! Top to bottom, this cabinet is filled with every flavor of baby food made by Earth's Best. Organic, huh? It fits. I grab some type of oatmeal and a small jar of peaches.

After I feed the baby, we have about an hour until she naps so I decide to take a stroll with her. It is warm for January and the snow has melted so I'll have no trouble pushing the stroller. There is even a little playground up the street that we can visit. After dressing Annika, I find her snowsuit and hat. We suit up, grab the stroller and head out. The stroller is one of those Bugga-somethings that are really expensive. I can tell that Mr. Northman would spare no expense when it comes to his daughter.

I stroll along thinking about how, even after almost four years up north, I am still not used to this weather. The cold, the snow. Ugh. Yes, snow is pretty while it's falling and immediately after but then it gets dirty and slushy and disgusting. I wish I was back in Louisiana. Just last week I was there in much warmer weather visiting Gran and my brother. I'd even gone sunbathing, though they said I was crazy. But it was at least 40 degrees warmer than Boston.

I decide to call my suite mate Amelia to let her know I'll be gone all day. She was asleep when I left this morning.

"Hey girl," I say when she picks up.

"Hey Sook! Where are you?"

"I'm working. I got called to nanny this morning for the whole month. I guess this guy is having a hard time keeping a nanny." I had signed up at the agency to do occasional babysitting but they know I have a month off and were desperate this morning. I didn't really want to work full time for this month but the money will be excellent to have.

"Uh-oh. Guy? You're working for a guy? Is he hot?"

Leave it to Amelia to always be thinking about sex. "Amelia! Actually he is! Like, freakin hot! And built."

"Built? How do you know he's built? Should I be proud of you Sookie? Did you bang your boss?"

"What? Amelia! Of course not. But he sorta answered his door with no shirt on."

"Ohmigod! Why? Was he wrapped in a towel?"

That image fills my brain and I think I take a while to answer. "No, he had pants on. He took his shirt off so his baby didn't ruin his work clothes. But dang, Amelia! His stomach. You know my favorite part of a man?"

"His dick?"

"No! Not that! You know that part of their stomach that turns into their hip and it makes that V shape? That, on him, is gorgeous. All kinds of unclean thoughts went through my head and I stood there like an idiot when I saw him. It's a wonder he left his kid with me!"

"Go Sookie!"

"Yeah, right. Hey, listen Ames. I gotta go and I don't know when I'll be home so just eat dinner without me, ok?"

"Ok, Sook. See ya. Maybe after you put the baby to bed you two could-"

"Bye, Amelia!" I end the call shaking my head. That girl.

After strolling around the neighborhood for a while, we come back home because it's time for Annika's nap. I undress and change her and lay her down. I'm not sure how she goes to sleep so when she starts fussing I pick her back up and start to dance with her to get her drowsy. It always works a charm on every other baby I've ever watched. I sway around her room, moving rhythmically so that the gentle motions will rock her to sleep. It works quickly and I lay her down whispering, "Sweet dreams, little one."

I close her door and creep downstairs to eat something before she wakes up from her nap. Opening the fridge, I notice a bunch of take out containers but not much else. Hmm, okay. Canned food it is. I open the cabinet that holds the cans of soup and take one down. Does he eat this stuff all the time? Goodness! He needs a woman in his life. Or some cooking lessons.

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ERIC

The meeting ends just before 11 and I walk quickly back to my office. I was distracted through the whole meeting thinking about the new girl in my house with my baby. I need to see what is going on so I pull up the security feed on my computer. I'd had a state of the art camera system put into my house for just this reason. It cost a shitload of money but what's the use of money if you can't protect what's yours?

I flip through the camera feeds trying to find the one that will show me the nanny and my daughter. Shit. I flip through again, thinking maybe I missed them as they walked from one room to the next. Nothing. What the fuck? Where the hell are they? I am sitting there, agitated, when Pam walks in.

"Northman, what do you want for lunch? What? Why are you pissed?" she says, noticing my state.

"I can't find the damn nanny on the cameras. What the fuck, Pam!"

"Eric, calm down. Did you call her?"

"I don't have her fucking number," I growl, slowly losing control.

"Okay, call your house. Would she answer your phone?"

"How the fuck should I know? I don't fucking know this girl!" I am ready to completely lose it.

"You have to calm down Eric. Your going to have an aneurism. Call your house. If she doesn't answer, call the agency. They have to have her number, right?"

I take a deep breath. Pam is right. I forgot about the agency. I call my house but get no answer. Just as I am about to find the agency's number, the nanny and my girl come walking in from outside.

"Shit," I sigh, letting my shoulders relax as I slump back into my chair.

"See, it's fine. No need to go on a killing rampage. I swear to god, Eric. You need to get laid. You are way too tightly wound."

I glare at her. I'd heard this many times before. It has been a while. Quite a while. The last time I had sex was with some nameless woman the night Annika's mother told me she wanted nothing to do with me and our unborn daughter. I'd drowned my sorrows in single malt scotch and pussy. And the fucking scotch was better.

"Okay okay," she says, "Lunch. What do you want?"

"The usual from Roxy's," I smile. Pam hates going all the way there but goddamn if they don't have the best grilled cheese and truffle fries. I eat there a lot.

"Fine. You are so boring," she ribs with an eye roll.

I smile, but it doesn't reach my eyes. Unfortunately, she is right.

I have become a boring old man. Eating take out and canned soup, I am in bed every night by ten. I don't sleep well so I go to bed early to try to get enough. Without fail, I wake tired the next day only to go through the same motions. Day after day, over and over, I do the same things in the same ways. The only thing that changes is my princess. She is growing up so fast.

Pam leaves to get lunch and I shift my focus to my computer screen and watch as the nanny picks up Annika and begins to sway around the room with her. Her hips are moving rhythmically, reminding me of a belly dancer or something. Shit. Did my dick just twitch? Goddamn! She's the fucking nanny. My dick can't twitch to the fucking nanny! But damn, I keep watching her. Her back is to the camera and her ass and hips look so fucking nice moving like that. By the time she puts my baby down, I am completely hard and have to shift in my seat to get more comfortable. Well, that wasn't boring.

The rest of the day is a blur of meetings and paperwork and conference calls. By the time I leave the office it's six o'clock and I can't wait to see my little girl. I also need to have a real conversation with the nanny since I didn't get a chance to this morning. I _also_ need her to tell me her name again because I've forgotten it. I feel a little bad about that but I was in a big hurry when she told it to me and I just remember thinking it was a strange name.

As I walk into the house, I am met by silence. What the fuck? Every good thought I had been thinking about the nanny is suddenly replaced by the panic and anger I felt when I had no idea where my daughter was earlier. Ok, so I have a temper. I know that and as much as I don't like to let it control me, sometimes it does. I stomp through the house in search of my baby, getting angrier and angrier with each empty room I come across. By the time I find them coming out of the bathroom, a fluffy yellow towel wrapped around my princess, and the nanny with a very wet shirt, I am pissed. And I am even more irrationally upset because I always bathe Anni. It's my chance to reconnect with her after a long day apart and I love the splashes and giggles of bath time. Shit. I try to calm down. I really do. But my day was shitty and she bathed my baby and I just lose it.

Seeing me in the hallway, the nanny smiles and says hi. Her smile falters when she sees my face. I follow her into Annika's room about to lay into her. She puts the baby in her crib to play and wordlessly grabs my hand, leading me from the room and closing the door.

What the fuck? Did she just grab my hand and pull me like I'm a child? And why the fuck did I follow her?

"What are you doing?" I ask gruffly. Her hand is still on mine and I swear I feel tingly where she's touching me. Again, what the fuck?

"I can tell you're upset. I didn't want you to yell at me in front of the baby. What happened? What did I do?"

She lets go of my hand and I feel a loss. "Oh. Yes. I always give her a bath. You don't need to," I say through gritted teeth. I'm trying to calm down. Really.

She frowns slightly and I can't help watching her lips. She has beautiful full red lips. Shit. Don't look at the nanny's lips, jackass. I bring my eyes up to hers and see her watching me.

"That's why you're so mad?"

"I'm not so mad," I say. I am so mad.

"You are. What else?"

"I couldn't find you today on the cameras. This morning. And then when I couldn't find you again when I came home, I freaked. And then you came out of the bathroom with her even though I always bathe her. I like to, you know? I miss her." Holy fuck, Northman! Shut up! I have no idea why I said all that.

Her face softens. Holy shit. I didn't notice before but she is beautiful. My dick twitches again.

"We went for a walk," she says.

I'm not listening. I have just noticed that her shirt is very very wet indeed. It's sticking to her, in fact. Sticking to her gorgeous round breasts in a way that I can just make out nipple. Oh god. Not good! This is not good! Do not get a hard-on in front of the nanny. That's like employer 101, right? Do not fuck the staff? Not that I want to fuck her. Oh, who am I kidding? I want to nail her against the wall until she screams my name.

I am pulled from my rather horrifying thoughts by the sound of my baby crying in her room. Oh yes. My baby. Shit.

"Shit," I mutter opening her door.

"Mr. Northman?" She's standing in the hallway looking all kinds of delectable and nervous.

"It's fine. Let me dress her. You can go downstairs and wait."

She nods and leaves while I get some pajamas and a diaper to dress my girl for bed.

"Anni," I say softly to my princess while I dress her. "I love you baby. Did you have a good day? My day was sh- bad. But it's looking better right now." I smile to see her smiling up at me. I love this baby so fucking much!

I take a deep breath to clear my head and start down the stairs with my Annika.

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**A/N: I hope you liked this first chapter. Thanks for reading! Please leave a review. I love the feedback. It's really motivating. :)**

**You can read this story along with my others, and one that does not appear here, on my wordpress site. Victoryintrouble dot wordpress dot com. Please come check it out! Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I was going to wait a week to post a new chapter but I love to write this story so I figured I would give you a chapter early. I'm so happy for the good response this story has received. I appreciate every favorite and follow and especially every review. I try to respond to all the reviews but I can't for the guest reviewers. I really appreciate your time even if I can't tell you!**

**This chapter starts with Sookie's pov the same night as chapter 1. She has just gone downstairs after Eric told her he'd dress the baby for bed.**

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>SOOKIE<p>

He comes downstairs talking softly to his baby girl. His face is soft and he has an easy smile. He looks gorgeous.

I stand up and walk over to them.

"I'm sorry again. I didn't mean to freak you out. It was nice out today and I wanted to walk around the neighborhood."

He was really really angry when I saw him earlier. Like scary angry and I knew he had a bad reputation for yelling at his former nannies. I couldn't imagine what upset him so much but I didn't want him to unleash it in front of the baby.

When I touched him, it was like a warmth spread through my body starting at the site of our joined hands. I'd never felt something like that before and I kept touching him for longer than I needed to. His explanation for his mood was so sweet, I was taken aback. I felt bad for scaring him with my absence and even worse for robbing him of special time with his daughter.

"It's ok. Please, call me Eric," he looks uncomfortable. "And what can I call you?"

I think he forgot my name. He was in a big rush this morning so I can't really blame him. But that doesn't mean I can't tease him.

"Just my first name is fine." I smile when he turns a little pink. "Did you forget my name?"

"Uh..."

Hmm, elegant. "It's Sookie. Stackhouse," I say with a big smile, letting him off the hook. Although, his flustered face is pretty cute.

He looks relieved. "Sookie," he says. It sounds good on his lips. "Would you like to stay for dinner? We can talk since we didn't get to this morning. There's a great Thai place down the hill."

He wants me to eat dinner with him? Why am I suddenly nervous? He's my employer. Of course he wants to know the person who takes care of his baby.

"Sure. That sounds great!" I plaster on my nervous smile. I think he's looking at me strangely but I'm not sure.

"What do you want?" He hands me the menu and I notice he has a whole stack of menus near the phone. From what I saw of his fridge, that makes sense.

"I'll have Pad Thai," I say, looking briefly at the menu.

"It's really good there. Will you take her while I order?"

"Sure." I reach for Annika as he holds her out to me. I try not to touch his hands as I take the baby but that's almost impossible in this situation especially because his hands are huge. My fingers brush lightly over his. Dang. That same warm feeling. I can tell he feels something too because his eyes snap to mine. I look quickly away. What the heck?

I get Annika set up with some toys in the living room while I wait for Eric to get off the phone.

He comes back out with two glasses of water and offers me one.

"Thanks," I say. I guess he's not always a grump.

He sits down next to me on the couch. Not too close but not on the other end of the couch, either. That's good.

"So. Sorry about this morning," he looks apologetic. "And this evening," he looks even more sorry.

"Please don't worry about it," I smile trying to be reassuring. "You were in a hurry this morning and just being a good father this evening. It's fine. It really is."

He smiles, like really smiles, and the difference in his face is amazing. He was beautiful before, I mean, so beautiful that I wouldn't have thought it possible to be even better looking. But his smile does something to his face. It's like he's suddenly in soap opera lighting or something. Like someone applied makeup to his face and lit him perfectly and cast him as everybody's dreamboat. I can just hear the thousands of fangirls screaming for him. He is that beautiful and it renders me speechless.

I stare at him dumbly for who knows how long until I hear my name. He must have said it a couple times because he's looking at me strangely again.

"What? Oh, sorry. Sometimes my head is just full of thoughts!" I say like an idiot. Everyone's heads are full of thoughts, right? Stupid!

He chuckles warmly and continues speaking. "I was asking you how long you've been a nanny."

"Oh, I'm not. Not really. I mean, I babysit when I can and I took this assignment short term. I go to school across the river."

"Oh! Harvard?" He asks, eyebrows raised.

Well, at least he assumes I'm smart, which is surprising after the way I've been acting. "No, not Harvard. Anyway, I won't be here for long. Just until the end of the month when school starts again."

He looks kind of conflicted but before I can try to figure out why, his doorbell rings signaling that the food is here.

I walk over to set the table while he pays. At least he has dishes. I wonder how often they get used.

I walk back to get Annika to put her in her highchair and as I pass him, our arms brush together. I really really like touching him even though I shouldn't.

We sit down and start putting food on our plates. I can feel his eyes on me but when I look up, he's looking at his plate. Huh.

It's kind of awkwardly silent so I try to think of something to talk about.

"Why did you cut your hair?" I blurt. Crap. Why did I just say that? I blush like I always do when I'm embarrassed. Most of the time I embarrass myself. Just like now. I don't want to look at him but I force myself to lift my eyes. He's looking at me with a bemused expression on his face.

"My hair...?" He asks. His brows crinkle adorably. "How did you...?"

"I'm sorry. I saw a picture in Annika's room. I'm really sorry. Sometimes when I'm nervous I blurt things out. You don't have to answer."

His face changes. His eyes change and he looks into my eyes and he says in a deep voice, "Do I make you nervous?" It's like sex voice. Like serious sex voice. Holy. Crap. I know I look like a scared little girl because my eyes widen and I can't help my shocked expression. The look on his face vanishes and he stands up abruptly looking kind of pissed off.

"I'll get Annika something to eat while we sit here. I usually give her a biscuit if she sits with me while I eat." He's facing the cabinets the whole time and I wonder if he's pissed at me for snooping at his pictures.

When he comes back to the table, he hands Annika a cookie and sits down. He looks at me with a sort of blank expression and says, "I cut my hair because I was always finding it in Anni's mouth and hands. I thought short hair would be easier with a baby."

"Oh," I say, glad he is not mad but confused at the void I sense from him. He just blanked out on me for some reason. Maybe he doesn't like personal questions. Okay, no more personal questions. I'm trying to think of something else to ask him as I eat, when he asks me a question.

"What year are you in school? What are you studying?"

Two questions as it turns out. "I'm a senior. I'll graduate in the Spring. I study neuroscience." I hate talking about school. I hope my stilted answers will get him off the subject quickly. No such luck.

"Neuroscience, huh? That's interesting. Do you dissect brains and stuff?"

"I have."

His eyes widen and he changes the subject. Squeamish? "So, a senior. What are you 21, 22?"

"I'm 23. I took a year off before college to stay with my grandmother. She had taken a fall and her recovery was slow."

"That was really nice of you. I don't think many granddaughters would do that."

"Well, there was no one else. My only other family is my brother and he's pretty much an idiot. But I like to think I would have done it anyway. Family is really important to me. I love my Gran. She raised my brother and I."

I can tell he is getting uncomfortable with the personal talk so I change the subject.

"So, how about you? What do you do for a living?" Obviously something that makes a lot of money.

"I'm a corporate lawyer." He doesn't offer anything else and I don't ask. I fill the silence by eating. The food is really good. I don't eat Thai food often, but I almost always get Pad Thai and this one is the best I've ever had. I think maybe I can tell him that to break the silence but he beats me to it. I'm glad he seems interested in getting to know me.

"Where are you from Sookie? You have an accent."

I always get this question up here. "I'm from a tiny town in Louisiana called Bon Temps."

He raises an eyebrow. "I see and what made you come so far away for school?"

Oh my god. That eyebrow. If that isn't just the sexiest eyebrow I have ever seen. Yum! I have the sudden urge to lick it... Oh, I'm supposed to be answering a question. Crap.

"I, uh, didn't really fit in down there. I didn't want to be a cheerleader or waitress or baby mama so I got the heck outta Dodge, you could say."

Oh, what's wrong? What did I say? His face looks pinched and...hurt? Shoot! What the crap did I say? Then it hits me. I am so stupid.

"Not that there's something wrong with having a baby. Or being unmarried. Or you know, being a baby daddy. Which, I mean, you're not. You're taking care of her by yourself, which is really great and you do a really good job-"

I stop when he holds up his hand. "It's okay. Really."

That's what he said but there's something behind his eyes still and I feel like an ass for making him feel this way. I should just leave.

"I should go," I say. God, I need to get out of here before I make a bigger fool of myself.

"Okay."

But he looks even worse. Does he want me here? I can stay if he wants me to. What I can't do is watch him make that downtrodden expression anymore. It's killing me for some reason. I don't even think he knows he's doing it. It's just his eyes. I might be fooled into thinking he's fine by the rest of him but his eyes betray him.

"I can stay for a little while longer," I say, smiling. Hoping he will smile at me again and erase his pained expression from my mind.

He's pleased but doesn't smile. At least he looks happier.

"So where are you from?" I ask him, to his surprise. "I know you're not from anywhere near here. Europe, maybe?"

He looks shocked. "Most people don't pick up on that. I grew up in Sweden. I came here for graduate school ten years ago. At Harvard, actually."

"Your accent is barely there, but I can hear it in the way you say some words with s and words like 'to'. Americans usually use the weak form of 'to' with a schwa but you use the strong form almost every time you say it." I can see him looking at me weird so I try to explain better.

"Sorry, I also study language acquisition and linguistics so I like this kind of thing." I explain to him how Americans normally say words like 'a' and 'the' and how he usually does. I explain how he says 'to' and how most Americans do. I have been talking animatedly and looking all around but as I look back at him, I can see he finds me amusing. I smile. "Sorry, I get a little carried away."

He smiles back. "And my s's?" He raises that eyebrow again. Oh mama that's hot!

"You, uh, mix up your s and z sounds sometimes. Like 'easy'? You say it with an s sound but we would use a z sound. It's subtle, but it's there."

"I see. Very impressive. Like I said, most people assume I'm American. It's better that way. Less probing questions."

"Oh, sorry. I won't ask you anything." Crap. I keep stepping in it around this guy.

He waves his hand to signal that it's not a big deal as he shovels in another bite of his food. Boy can he eat!

I'm done eating so I decide I really should leave. But I realize we didn't actually talk any business- like my business being his employee- and I have a few questions.

"So, what is your schedule like? When do you want me here and when do you usually get back and all that?"

"I'd like you here at 8 because that's when Anni wakes up but my schedule varies. Sometimes I get home at 5 or 6 and sometimes it's not until 8. I'm busy at work right now...busier than usual, so you can expect some late nights. I'll call if I will be later than 8." He sighs, and for a second I can see all the stress of his job on his face. I would love to be able to help him with that. I just want to smooth his furrowed brow with my fingers and make him feel better.

"Ok, sure. Also, do you mind if I bring over some food? Do you have, like, pots and pans and stuff?" I didn't see any when I was looking for Annika's food.

He grins at me again and it's like tv lighting all over again. I try not to stare.

"Yes, I have cooking implements. I can cook, I just don't have the time. You are welcome to bring whatever you would like over."

"Great, thanks! Um, do you guys have any allergies? So I don't bring that here?"

"I don't and I don't think she does but she hasn't had everything yet."

"Ok, well I won't give her anything new. So, I think I should get going. It's getting late."

"How will you get home?" Oh great, is he going to offer me a ride home? I really don't want him to. This night has been way too much awkward already. We do not need to add a silent car ride.

"I'll take the T. I do it all the time."

"No, it's dark. I'll call you a cab. It won't take long. There are always some close by."

"There's really no need. I'll be fine." I really do take the T all the time, day or night. There are always tons of people around at night and it's not even that late.

"I insist. It will make me feel better," he says. Given how high strung he has proven himself to be, I guess I can give him this. Tonight.

"Okay, thank you." Well, at least it's not an awkward car ride.

He calls and five minutes later we hear a honk. I grab my bag and put on my coat.

"See you tomorrow. Thanks for dinner!" I say cheerily.

He grabs my hand in a firm shake but he doesn't let go right away. He's looking at me funny again.

"Goodnight Miss Stackhouse," he says in a soft voice. I think I just got chills.

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>ERIC<p>

Shit, I forgot to tell her about my conference next week. I'll have to tell her tomorrow.

I turn from the door and scoop up my little one from her high chair.

"Did you like her, baby girl? She's pretty nice, right? Yeah."

I know she doesn't understand me but she's the only one I have to talk to at night. She hears way too much about my day and even though I try not to curse in front of her, I'm sure she's heard more f-bombs than the average nine month old. I made a promise to stop cursing before she starts talking. We'll see.

As I get Anni's last bottle ready, I can't stop thinking about Sookie. This morning when she got here I wasn't really looking at her but when I saw her in that wet shirt, with her full lips and her round curves, I think I went a little crazy. Then when she was talking to me I could barely concentrate on her words. I just kept looking at those lips of hers and imagining them on mine.

I've never had a reaction like that to a woman. I bet she thinks I'm an idiot. She's obviously really smart. She knew I'm from fucking Sweden. Some people I've worked with for years still think I'm American. And she's caring. I wonder what she would say if she knew I haven't spoken to my family in years. I'm sure she would be appalled. It is pretty shameful and I feel bad now but I don't exactly know how to close that rift.

I take the bottle and Anni and we go upstairs. Anni coos and babbles to me as I change her diaper and sit in her rocking chair. As I feed her, my thoughts drift back again to Sookie. I was so nervous that she wouldn't want to eat dinner with me. I don't even know why. It's not like it was a date but I never eat dinner with anyone. Well, not counting little people who can't talk or Pam if we have to work late. I have to admit that Sookie is a little strange, but she's smart and kind and beautiful. Shit, Northman! She's the fucking nanny. Remember that.

I didn't realize she would only be here a short time. I have got to do better for my girl. She deserves so much more than a replacement nanny every few months. When Sookie leaves, I'll have to get a new one and that will make five nannies in Annika's short life. If only her damn mother would have wanted her, wanted us. Anni deserves a mom who loves her and it kills me that I can't give her that.

Sookie said she left her small Southern town because she didn't want what was expected of her if she stayed and it just brought up all these memories of Sophie and her reasons for leaving me and Annika. She didn't want was expected of her either. She didn't want to be strapped down with a baby so she left town too. I hate that woman. I hate her for what she did to my beautiful daughter. How could anyone not love her? She is the best thing in my life. She is perfect and I am the flawed being devoted to her.

"I love you so much, baby girl," I whisper, looking down into her little face. "I don't deserve you. You deserve so much better than me."

I can't help the tears that threaten my eyes. She's the only thing that does this to me. I don't think that makes me a pussy, does it?

I rock Annika to sleep and lay her down then go back to the dining room to clean up. I walk down the stairs deep in thought. I'm glad Sookie seemed to like her Thai food. I wonder if she knew she closed her eyes and moaned upon her first bite and every fucking bite after. It was fucking hot- and tortuous. I had to get her talking because her moaning was making my pants uncomfortable. That's why I asked her about school. That, and I really did want to know more about her. Maybe figure out why I felt drawn to her. I was in danger of turning things inappropriate and was pissed at myself when I flirted with her. I couldn't help it, it was like an instinct. Her looking nervous and with that pretty blush on her cheeks- I almost made a damn fool of myself.

I pick up our dishes and rinse them off, placing them in the dishwasher. I'm still thinking. Still trying to figure things out. What the hell is wrong with me? I don't know why I like her so much. I mean, yes, she's beautiful. Brave too, with the way she stood facing my wrath with calm determination. But still, I have to be careful because she works for me and I can't fucking have her. It seems I made her nervous but she didn't seem uncomfortable around me. I need to keep it that way.

I close the take out containers and put them in the fridge along with the many others. No wonder Sookie assumed I have nothing to cook with. Truth is, I love cooking. I used to cook all the time. Before. Now I barely have time to fucking breathe. I know it's sad that I eat out so often but that's my life right now.

I make my way upstairs after turning off the lights. One thing is for certain, I think, as I strip off my clothes to step into the shower. She sure isn't boring.

I toss and turn in bed for a long time before I'm finally able to get to sleep. It's nothing new. I always have trouble falling asleep. What is new, is the fact that I just can't stop fucking thinking about Sookie. I must go over our evening together five or six times before I finally fall asleep. I'm so fucking pathetic.

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**A/N: So in this chapter, we see a little of Eric's vulnerability and some of Sookie's awkwardness. Even though Eric is successful and gorgeous, he still has his insecurities and his life is far from perfect and even though Sookie is really smart, she tends to embarrass herself easily and get down on herself.  
>I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review and let me know! :)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so happy that people seem to like this story! Thank you to all the readers and to the people who put the story on alert. I love all the reviews too! Thank you guest reviewers who I couldn't contact.**

**Chapter three starts with Eric's pov the next morning. So this is the second day.**

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>ERIC<p>

I wake up in the morning with a start as my alarm goes off. It's an unusual day when I am not awake long before that incessant beeping. This morning, however, I am startled out of a surprisingly sexual dream about Sookie. I'm left feeling conflicted. On one hand, it was an amazing dream. I am still in the state of mind to relive it as if it was real. I know it will fade soon but I can't help going over my favorite parts in my mind and it's still making my dick hard. But she works for me and I need to remember that. I cannot be thinking about her in that way. As much as I would love to fuck her senseless, her caring for Annika is much more important than satisfying an urge of mine.

Reluctantly I get up to shower and dress for the day. Sookie should be here soon and I need to be ready. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, my body will not calm down from my dream. I can't get my dick to go soft and I'm left with little choice but to rub one out in the shower. I can't answer the door with a hard-on. So, I take care of business while thinking about dream Sookie _taking care of business_, which, ironically is what has me in this position in the first place. Funny how that works.

I finally emerge from the shower, relaxed and ready to start my day. I get dressed quickly as I glance at my clock and realize I have ten minutes until Sookie arrives. I'm just zipping my pants when I hear the doorbell. Shit! I grab my socks and tie as I head down to answer it.

As I open the door, the first thing I notice is her smile. She looks so bright and cheerful that I smile right back at her. Her red lips are so enticing and I can't help staring at them. As her smile fades I realize that I have been standing there smiling at her while she stands in the doorway and I haven't made a move to invite her in. I'm an ass. I step back and ask her to come in.

"Thank you," she says. "I brought some stuff so I'll just put it in the kitchen if that's ok."

As I nod, she breezes past me and goes to the kitchen where she puts a couple bags on the counter. She's in there putting some food in the fridge when Annika wakes up and starts babbling.

"Oh! Should I go get her?"

"Finish with your groceries. She's always happy for a little while in the morning." I got lucky with my happy baby girl. So lucky!

She smiles and goes back to finish her task.

"Listen," I say, coming into the kitchen. "I meant to tell you yesterday but I have a conference in New York next Wednesday through Friday. Would it be possible for you to go down with me and Annika? I know it's short notice but the other nanny had already agreed and it's very important that I be there. Of course I will pay for your accommodations and expenses and pay you overtime for all those extra hours." I am rambling. I just feel bad about having to ask her this on her second day with us. I don't know what I will do if she says no.

She's smiling again at me. Grinning really. I stop talking.

"Sure, Eric. That's fine. No problem," she says happily.

Oh, thank god. "The easiest thing to do because of Annika, is to share a suite. I hope that's ok?" Shit, she looks anything but okay with that.

"Of course, I can get you your own room but it's easier if you can take her into your bedroom or get her in mine if I am out late." Not that I wouldn't love to share her bed.

"Oh, you mean a suite with a room for each of us?" she says and blushes.

I look at her probably a half second too long because she just looks so damn good with those pink cheeks. "Yes of course," I manage to say. She looks relieved and a bit embarrassed.

Annika stands up in her crib and starts to cry so our conversation ends for now. I can talk to her about it later. I try not to watch her as she walks up the stairs. I try but I am weak because I can't take my eyes off her perfect ass in her snug jeans that show me every tightening of muscle as she climbs. I am so fucking weak. When my dick twitches this time, I am reminded of my dream and the very nice, very naughty things she did to it. I am halfway to a hard-on when she emerges at the top of the stairs. I can see her in the mirror I'm using to put on my tie. As she comes downstairs, her eyes lock onto mine in the mirror and that is very much not helping the situation in my pants. I'm pretty sure there was lots of eye contact in my dream. As she gets closer, I focus on my tie to give myself a chance to calm down. I head to the closet for my jacket and shoes.

When I'm fully dressed she is standing by the door telling Annika to say bye to Daddy. I head over and am leaning in to kiss my girl when she is suddenly not there. I'm already halfway into my lean and it's instantly extremely awkward because I get a hell of a lot closer to Sookie than I mean to be. I straighten up but not before her scent surrounds me. I think I may have groaned a little because she smells so unbelievably fucking good. I want to lick her like a watermelon lollipop good. I stand up and look at her and she's smiling at me, but it's a tight smile, and I'm sure I've upset her when she holds Anni out and up to me.

"Sorry about that," she says. "Here. Kiss her now."

I do. And I tell her I love her while I internally sigh in relief. This girl is a surprise. As I reach for the doorknob I tell Sookie that I shouldn't be late tonight so she should have plenty of time for a fun Friday night with her boyfriend or whoever. Ok, I'm fishing but I can't really outright ask if she has a boyfriend. I shouldn't even care because I'm not going after her, right? Shit.

The usually relaxed and happy look on her face vanishes and she says goodbye. What the hell does that mean? Does she have a fucking boyfriend?

As soon as I get to my car, I lay my head on the top of the steering wheel and take a deep breath. Why can't I hold it together around her? I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm a jerk. I'm certainly acting like an imbecile. I sit up and start the drive in to work. Luckily the weather is clear so I make it there with plenty of time to relax at my desk.

I used to use the work gym in the mornings before things got too intense with this merger. Now I just drink coffee and read the news like an old man. If I have time, I work out at lunch but that's usually only once or twice a week lately. I wish I had more time. I need the outlet. And with Sookie in my house, I think I'll need the outlet more than ever.

Pam comes in at precisely nine o' clock to get me moving.

"Let's go Northman! It's nine. Time to get some work done."

"Hmm, and here I thought I was the boss," I say playfully. That earns me a glare while she crosses her arms in front of her. "Alright, alright. I'm working."

She smirks at me and then sits down to go over my schedule with me. She reminds me about the conference next week as if I could have forgotten.

"Yes, well, I am reminding you because you have a new nanny. How's that going by the way?"

Oh just fine. Just trying not to have a constant hard-on around her. "It's fine," I say.

I start to tell Pam that I already asked Sookie about the conference when she cuts in.

"Eric Northman, you are blushing! Why the fuck are you blushing at the mention of your nanny?"

When I just stare at her she says, "Please, for the love of all things holy, please Northman, do not fuck the nanny." She says the last few words very slowly like I'm an dimwit who wouldn't otherwise understand.

"What the hell, Pam? Have some faith in me! I wouldn't do that!" Yes I fucking would!

She is quiet for a second, staring at me. I'm starting to think she can read my emotions because she looks very suspicious of me. "Fine, Eric. I'm just saying it's the last thing either of us needs. Keep it in your pants until the merger is over at least."

"Yesterday, you said I needed to get laid," I say but immediately regret it when Pam stands up and leans across my desk to glare at me six inches from my face. "I'm kidding. Shit." But I do need to get laid. I didn't realize how much I miss the touch of a woman until I met a woman who I can't touch.

She straightens up and smiles and just like that, she resumes work mode. We have a busy day today so we get to it.

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>SOOKIE<p>

I'm never going to get used to how he answers the door. Yesterday he was half naked and today he is barefoot and wet. Okay, not all of him is wet, that would be a sight, but his hair is wet and there is a drop of water currently making its way down his neck and into the open collar of his shirt. A drop of water that I can't help staring at thinking how I would love to trace its path with my tongue. I can see he is smiling at me but then he looks a little upset as he invites me in. I have got to stop staring at him. I'm sure I'm making him uncomfortable.

I walk in with my bags and after I put my food away he's asking me to go to a conference with him. As soon as he asks, I open my mouth to say yes but he keeps on talking. After another sentence I try to say yes again but he won't stop talking long enough for me to answer. I smile at him, thinking how funny it is for this giant man to be babbling like he is. When I finally tell him I can come, he looks so relieved I'm glad I can ease his worry. Although he does nothing but make me worry when he says we should share a suite. No no no. That would not work out. I cannot be in such close proximity to this gorgeous blonde. I will make a fool of myself.

I blush as I realize I've misunderstood him. He means sharing a large suit with multiple rooms. Of course. Great, now he must think I'm an idiot.

Annika cries and as I go get her, I am so glad for the interruption. I change her diaper and bring her down to say goodbye to Eric. As I'm walking down the stairs, I hear whistling. Now, I normally can't stand whistling and by extension, whistlers. I just find it so obnoxious and annoying- usually. I can't help but smile, though, when I recognize the song being whistled is Olly Murs' _What A Buzz_. As I walk further down the stairs I can see Eric's face in the mirror by the entryway. He's putting on his tie. As I watch his puckered lips, his eyes suddenly lift and meet mine. Neither of us is smiling anymore but I feel myself start to breathe a little harder as his gaze stays steady on mine. It lasts just a moment more, probably less than two seconds in all but I can't describe the flutter going through my entire body. Weird.

He's getting his coat so we go stand by the door and as I adjust Annika by sliding her to my other arm, Eric is suddenly looming above me. He is way too close to me and I don't realize why for a second. He stands up looking kinda panicked and I realize I did something else stupid so I apologize and hold Annika out in front of me so he can say goodbye without any awkwardness. This has been such an awkward morning.

He says something to me about coming home early so I can go out with my boyfriend. As if. Ugh.

As soon as Eric leaves I take a deep breath as I lean back against the door. That could have gone better.

"Hi baby girl," I coo to Annika as we head to the kitchen for a bottle. "Why is your daddy always half dressed? Is he trying to give me a heart attack?" She, of course, just smiles at me.

After I feed her, our morning flies by and soon it's time for her nap. I dance her to sleep and then head down to cook lunch for myself. It's a little early but this is my only chance until this afternoon when Annika naps again.

As I open the fridge, I realize there are way too many take out containers in it for all of them to still be good so I set about opening containers and throwing the spoiled food away. When I'm done, the garbage is full and the fridge is just about empty. Not wanting to leave Eric with a garbage full of rotten food, I quickly take it outside to the trash can.

I start cooking my lunch, which is fettuccine alfredo with broccoli and chicken. I eat quickly because Annika will be up soon. I figure I'll do the dishes when she takes her second nap. As I get up to take my plate to the sink I decide to make a plate for Eric to eat later since there is so much leftover. I don't really want to haul it home and it's Friday so I won't be eating it here tomorrow. I saw how much Thai food Eric put away so I know he'll be able to eat it all. I fill a plate with food, literally fill- it's overflowing- and wrap it up for the fridge. I hope he doesn't think it's odd that I'm leaving food for him. It's something I get from my Gran- wanting to feed people who seem to need a home cooked meal.

Just then, Annika wakes up so I go up to get her. When I'm changing her diaper the doorbell rings. I have no idea who that could be and Eric didn't mention any visitors so I peek out the living room window to catch a glimpse of the guest. I see an older woman with a basket of cleaning supplies in one hand and a pair of rubber gloves in the other. Eric didn't tell me to expect a house cleaner so I open the door hesitantly.

"Hi," I say uncertainly.

"Hi," she says. "You're new. Let me guess, he didn't tell you to expect me?" She waves at Annika who smiles at her.

"Well, no..."

"Do you need to call him?" She seems to have been through this before.

"I guess I do," I say gesturing for her to come in as I walk to the kitchen to use the phone.

I do not expect the voice that answers the phone and I hesitate to talk.

"Hello!?" says the woman on the other end of the phone for the second time.

I regain my composure as I realize it's probably his secretary who answered.

"Oh, hi," I say trying to recover some dignity, "Is it possible for me to speak with Eric? Mr. Northman?"

"Well, that depends on who you are and why you are calling," she says in a scathing tone.

Oh great. Now his secretary hates me. "This is Sookie Stackhouse, his nanny. There is a house cleaner here that Eric didn't tell me would be coming so I am just calling to confirm that it's ok for her to be here."

"Yes. We don't need to bother Eric with this, now do we? He's very busy you realize. The house cleaner is scheduled for Fridays. Is there not a calendar on the fridge?" I can tell she really hates me.

I look at the fridge and realize there is a calendar there and every Friday is listed MetroMaids. Well, shoot. But I still think he could have told me.

"Oh, I'm sorry. He never told me to look at this. I didn't know it was here."

"Yes, well, we'll have to try a little harder won't we dear? Now if there is nothing else...?"

I realize she is waiting for me to speak. "No! That's all. Thanks."

I turn to the woman who is standing with me in the kitchen and sigh as I see the look she is giving me. It's a look that says she knows what a bitch the lady on the phone was to me and she sympathizes.

"Do you know her?" I ask.

"Women like her. I understand being talked down to because of your job. Don't worry about it." She smiles kindly at me.

"Thanks," I say before realizing I never introduced myself. "I'm Sookie."

She holds out her hand and says, "Mary. Nice to meet you."

I smile as I shake her hand. "Do you need me and Annika to leave while you clean?"

"Oh no. Everything I use is safe for a baby. Eric insists on it. Everything is all natural."

"Have you been working for him for long?" I ask as I get Annika set up for lunch. I realize I know next to nothing about him because he is not very forthcoming about himself. I would like to know more.

"Since this little one was tiny and he moved in here."

"So did you know his wife?" I really don't even know if he was married or not.

"No, he was alone with that tiny baby when I met him. I felt so bad for him at first. He was so overwhelmed. I came twice a week then and every time I came in, the house was a disaster. Eric was a disaster. But that baby was always well taken care of. He made sure of it. He was grungy and there were food and diapers everywhere but she was always clean and fed and happy. That's how I knew he was a good guy. He loves that girl more than anything."

Hearing her tell this story about Eric, I can't help but feel bad for how hard his life must have been with a newborn alone. I feel tears prick my eyes when she tells me how much he cares for his daughter. I could tell right away how much he loves her. His face shines with it.

"I think he's a good guy too," I say.

She gives me an assessing look and says, "Yes. Things have gotten easier for him. After the first month or so, he hired a nanny and went back to work and he seems much more at ease with fatherhood. Although, with the way he goes through nannies, I'm not sure he's that relaxed in life."

I don't think she meant for me to hear that last remark because when I ask her what she means, she looks at me quickly before saying she needs to get cleaning so she can get to her other house after.

I leave her to it and when Annika is done with her lunch I take her upstairs to play.

When Mary finishes the downstairs, she starts on the upstairs. She comes into Annika's room to clean so we head out. As we're leaving the room she stops me.

"Sookie, dear, did you clean out the fridge and take out the garbage today? And you left him some food that you cooked?"

"I noticed all the containers and I didn't know you'd be coming so...yeah. I cleaned it out and I had some leftover food from the lunch I cooked and figured he'd like a home cooked meal. You can only eat so much take out. Don't you think?"

"I do, dear. I do," she says. As we're leaving I think I hear her say something about me staying a while but Annika is babbling at me so I'm not sure.

We play and Annika has a bottle and I'm reading to her as Mary comes down saying she is finished.

We say our goodbyes before she heads out. Pretty soon it's time for Annika's nap so we head up.

I had planned to do lunch dishes while she slept but they are already done so I decide to just watch some tv. Well, I try to watch some tv but I can't figure out the remotes so I just tidy up Annika's toys and then decide to text Amelia.

_S: Hey! I'm bored. What r u doing?  
>A: Out to lunch with Tracy in Harvard Square. Baby asleep?<br>S: Yeah. Can't figure out the tv remotes. :(  
>A: Must be fancy. Sorry. :( How's that hot boss of yours?<br>S: Ha! He answered the door wet and barefoot this morning. I almost died.  
>A: He has to be doing this on purpose!<br>S: I think he's just busy but I'm not complaining!  
>A: Good girl. You need some excitement in your life! It's been too long!<br>S: I know, I know! Don't start lecturing me again.  
>A: I won't. Not everyone is Bill, though.<br>S: Amelia!  
>A: That's all I'm gonna say. I love you, Sook.<br>S: Thanks. I might make it to dinner tonight. He said he'll be home early.  
>A: That'd be great. Call me when you leave there. We'll make plans. I gtg now. Tracy says hi!<br>S: Ok. Hi Tracy! Have fun. Ttyl._

The rest of the day goes by fast and soon Eric is home. He walks quickly to where we are in the living room and scoops Annika up in his arms for a cuddle. I like the way his face changes when he sees her. It's like the day's stress melts away and he is just happy. His features soften and he looks at ease. It's nice. I'm glad she does that for him.

I give him a quick rundown of the morning and then pause when I start to tell him about Mary.

I know I look sheepish when I tell him about not knowing she would be here.

"No, I should have told you," he says looking contrite.

"Well, I'm sorry I bothered your secretary when I should have seen the calendar. I know you're busy but I didn't know what else to do."

"How could you know about the calendar? Sookie, it's fine for you to call me. The only reason Pam is to be called is because I'm in a lot of meetings. Especially now." He runs his hand through his hair. It seems like a stress move. I think again about how I would love to relieve his stress- and not necessarily in a sexual way, although...

"Okay, well at least now I have seen the calendar. So if there's nothing else, I'll be on my way..."

One of those sad looks crosses his face and it strikes me that he is lonely. I can't stay tonight though because I have plans with Amelia.

"Sure. Thank you, Sookie," he says.

I think he is going to forget about making me take a cab but just before I reach for my coat, he says he's calling and that it will be five minutes.

"You really don't need to call me a cab every night, Eric," I say with a little exasperation in my voice. He looks taken aback. Maybe he thinks he's doing what he should for me? Is this just what he does for all the nannies?

"I'm sorry," he says, that hurt look flickering into his eyes for a moment. I just want to kiss him and make him better. I can't stand this look.

"No, I'm sorry. I know you're just being a good guy," I say, thinking about my earlier conversation with Mary. He is-being a good guy. I need to just accept that. Not everyone has ulterior motives for everything they do.

He smiles a little and when the cab honks he gives me a little shrug.

"Thank you," I say. "See you Monday." I run out to the cab and get in.

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>ERIC<p>

"Hey princess! It's the weekend," I tell Anni as soon as Sookie leaves. "We get two whole days together!" I fucking love weekends! I hate that I'm away from Anni so often during the week. As soon as I get her in my arms, I'm just so much happier. I kiss her little cheeks and make her laugh then put her in her highchair.

I open the fridge to get some leftover Thai food and I see a wrapped plate with a note on it. I take it out and read it.

_I had some leftovers from lunch and I thought you might like some.  
>Sookie<em>

I uncover it and it looks really good. I'm surprised she is so thoughtful. Well, that's not true. This seems like something she would do. This is the kind of person she seems to be. She likes to take care of people and it feels nice to be taken care of sometimes.

I get Annika something to eat as I heat up the plate Sookie left. I smile as I watch her carefully pick up each Cheerio I have given her. I admit to being a bit too paranoid to give her much else to eat on her own. I just don't know what I'd do if something bad happened to her.

My first bite of the pasta Sookie left makes me groan. It's fucking fantastic. I eat the whole plateful of food quickly, probably moaning just as much as she was when she ate the Thai food. I don't eat homemade food often but I really fucking love good food. I feel like calling Sookie to thank her but I don't want to interrupt anything. I'm torn, but decide against it. I'll thank her Monday. I'm sure she wouldn't want to hear from me on her time off anyway.

After I wipe Annika up, we head upstairs for her bath. She loves bath time and even though it's messy, so do I. I love to hear my girl giggle and I splash her lightly to make her laugh.

Once Annika is asleep, I watch some tv to decompress and then head to bed. I am conflicted about whether to wish for another Sookie dream or not. Really, I shouldn't want another one but I am a man. A fucking lonely man, so ultimately I am not disappointed when I have another dream so good that it leaves my sheets wet and my boxers sticking to my body. Shit. This hasn't happened to me in a long long time.  
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**A/N: So, there's the end of day 2. A couple reviewers remarked about Sookie studying neuroscience. I just thought it was a good connection with the original Sookie's telepathy. Both Sookies delve into other people's minds- mine just does it physically.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave a review. Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter begins with a time jump to the following Wednesday when Eric's conference starts. I've decided to write one viewpoint for each day that they are in NYC and will start with Eric. So they have known each other almost a week at this point. A week is not long people!**

**Thank you, once again, for every alert on this story and double thanks for every review!**

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>ERIC<p>

It's Wednesday morning and we will be heading to the airport as soon as Sookie gets here. I am nervously pacing which happens every time I travel. Traveling with a baby is twice as hard as normal and I dread it.

When Sookie arrives, I call the cab and start bringing our luggage to the curb. We have a ten am flight and the airport will be crowded with business travelers and I'm feeling the need to hurry. I hate this jittery feeling I get.

Suddenly, on my last trip with our bags, Sookie is in front of me.

"Can I do anything to help you, Eric? You seem anxious. Are you okay?" She looks at me with concern.

I give her an apologetic smile and tell her that traveling just makes me nervous. She runs her hand up and down my arm and tells me that everything will be fine and that I should relax. I know her gesture is meant to be soothing but it just makes me think about all the time we will be spending in close proximity for the next three days and it does anything but relax me. I still can't be next to her without thinking of all the dirty things I want to do to her. I turn quickly to bring the last of the bags to the curb.

Soon the cab pulls up and we pile in after our luggage is secured. Luckily it's not a long flight but we still need to be at the airport early because it's a busy time. By the time we get through security, we have about forty-five minutes to wait until we board. As we make our way to the gate, I can see Pam already sitting there and I sigh because she always makes me feel better when we travel. She always knows exactly what we need to be doing and when and she has every contingency plan known to man, or woman in this case.

She stands when we approach and hands me a large cup of coffee. Oh thank you, brown liquid heaven, for making life bearable.

I introduce Pam to Sookie and can't help sensing a weird vibe between them. I don't know what that's about. As we get settled in our seats, Sookie takes Annika to walk around the gate area instead of sitting with us. I was looking forward to talking to her. Talking to Sookie after work is quickly becoming one of my favorite things and I'm disappointed when she walks away.

"She's a morsel. Maybe I can see why you want to fuck her," Pam says eyeing Sookie as she leaves.

"Pam, please," I hiss. "I do not want to fuck her." At least not right this second. I also don't want her to hear us talking about her. Things are awkward enough. They've gotten easier with the more time we spend around each other but things are definitely still awkward at times.

Pam looks at me like she can see right through my bullshit but she doesn't call me on it. Instead, she goes over our itinerary for the next few days, making sure I remember all the big meetings and the client dinner we will attend.

"You sure she can handle herself in the city?" Pam says as Sookie makes her way back to the gate. They have just announced that boarding has started for our flight. "She sounds like a real southern belle."

"Yes, Pam. She's smart. Lay off her." I feel protective of Sookie for some reason. I know she looks small and sounds delicate but she is smart and capable. I don't want Pam talking shit about her.

Pam gives me an odd look but then Sookie is back and we stand up to get on the plane. Pam and I sit across the aisle from Sookie and Annika. After I stow the bags I see Sookie struggle with putting the carseat in so I ask Pam to hold Annika while I help Sookie.

Pam takes the baby very gingerly like she's afraid of her, which she probably is. She almost never touches her if she can help it. I usually tease her about it.

I go across the aisle to help Sookie without realizing that the cramped airplane space will put me into very close proximity with her. I'm very big and the airplane aisles are very small. As I tighten the seatbelt around the baby's seat, my shoulder presses into Sookie's chest and now I'm not just breathing hard because I'm struggling with the seat. I hope she can't see what's happening in my pants. I finish with the seat and turn quickly to get Annika and put her in it. Sookie is still standing there in front of Annika's seat and I have to put my knee on Sookie's seat and lean over with Anni. I can feel my back brush against her front again and I fight the urge to lean back farther. I don't think I'm going to survive three fucking days with this girl.

Finally I sit down next to Pam, who is just smiling at me with a very strange look on her face.

"What?" I ask her, annoyed.

"Nothing, Northman. Nothing."

The flight is uneventful. Annika sleeps, Sookie reads, and Pam and I chat quietly about the conference.

Soon we are walking into our hotel room and I watch as Sookie looks around excitedly. She's like a kid on Christmas morning. He eyes light up as she notices each new thing she likes in the room. I watch her, smiling. She is really fucking cute right now.

The valet brings in our bags and I have him give Sookie the bigger room because it has an attached bathroom. As much as I would love to watch her walk through in a towel, I want her to be comfortable more. She seems grateful for that.

"What a great suite. It's like a whole apartment!" She's smiling so big. I really want to kiss her or maybe throw her down on one of these beds. Shit. This is going to be a long three days.

"The Kimberly is my favorite place to stay. It's not too big or pretentious. There are lots of things to do and places to eat around here, too." I shift Annika to my other arm so I can open the curtain and show Sookie the view.

"So, what's your schedule like for today? Do you have lots of meetings?" she says, coming over to look out the window.

"I do but nothing starts until after lunch. I thought we could eat around here. There's a pretty good place around the corner. Pam should be here soon so we can go down."

She was smiling but as soon as I mentioned Pam, she stiffened up and stopped. I knew I didn't imagine the weird vibe between them.

"Pam sometimes takes a while to get to know but she's not so scary once you do know her."

A sad look crosses her face as she says, "Yeah, pretty sure she doesn't want to get to know me."

I have the sudden urge to hold her in my arms and kiss that frown off her pretty face. When did I become such a sap? In any case, I'm saved from my thoughts by Pam's knock on the door.

I throw Sookie a sympathetic look over my shoulder as I open the door for Pam.

Lunch is not going as bad as I thought it would, given the hostile vibe on the way to the restaurant. We are at Dos Caminos, which has a relaxed atmosphere and some damn good tacos. Sookie's eyes immediately lit up when she saw the name and she said she loves the one in Soho. I wonder how often she goes to New York because she doesn't seem like the party girl type. Looks can be deceiving though. I'm sure I don't look like I want to lay her spread eagle on this table and eat her taco instead of the ones on my plate. At least I hope I don't. Shit, I'm almost ashamed of myself for that thought. Almost.

Regardless of the earlier tension, both women seem to be relaxing more and more and they are even talking to each other. Sookie talks about her major and all her research experience and I can tell Pam is impressed with her intelligence. Pam is one of the smartest and most driven women I know and she can be pretty snobby when it comes to her perceived notion of feminine worth. She doesn't think women should settle for domestic pursuits even though I try to tell her that everyone is fulfilled in different ways. Growing up in Sweden where gender equality is a given, I think that men and women should be free to choose whatever makes them happy. Hell, I'd stay home with Annika and do nothing but make her laugh all day if I wasn't solely responsible for keeping her fed and housed.

Unfortunately, that's the case and soon we are making our way back to the hotel after our delicious lunch. We come back with just enough time for me to grab my things before an afternoon of boring meetings.

"Sookie, I'll be back for dinner. Can I take you somewhere? With Annika of course!" This is not a date, that almost sounded like I was asking her out. Shit.

"Sure! But I get to pick the place!" she says smiling. She must go to New York often if she knows all these places to eat.

"Okay, I'm game," I say, returning her smile. I love her smile. If I could, I'd make her smile all day long just to watch her pretty pink lips curve up so enticingly.

"Great! I'll call for reservations. When will you be back?"

"Let's say 6:30. The meetings should finish by 5:30, but they might run long and I'll need time to get back here."

She stands up with Annika to say goodbye. By now she knows I like to kiss my baby before I leave so she comes over to me. "Say bye, Daddy," she tells Annika, "We'll miss you!"

We'll? _They_ will miss me? This slip of the tongue makes me so happy for some reason. She probably didn't mean to imply that she would miss me but she said it and I can't stop smiling.

If she notices what she said, she doesn't give any indication. She is just waiting for me to kiss Anni and be on my way. I do, and I walk out of the hotel room with a stupid grin on my face.

The meetings are one block over at the W Hotel so it's a quick walk. I meet Pam in the lobby and we walk over together.

Pam tells me that she actually likes Sookie and thinks that she's smart as well as pretty. I agree with her which earns me a suspicious glare and another warning to keep my dick in my pants. I'm trying. God am I trying, but my dick really wants to come out and play and I'm not going to be able to control him for much longer.

The meetings are boring and unless I need to speak, my mind keeps wandering to Sookie. She has occupied my thoughts a lot lately. It's like she has some magical pull and I can't help being drawn to her. I'm trying in vain to fight it. She makes me happy, though. That I can't deny. It's something I haven't felt except for where Annika is concerned for a long time. And it's not just because she is in my house all day. I've had three nannies before her and I did not feel anything for any one of them. Not even the skanky one who kept trying to touch me all the time and flirted mercilessly with me. I'd had to get rid of that one before she developed aspirations to be Anni's stepmom. No, Sookie is different.

Pam clears her throat and I look at her, pulled from my reverie. She's giving me a look.

"What?" I mouth to her.

She leans very close to me and says in my ear, "Are you daydreaming? You have a goofy smile on your face."

Shit! Do I? That's embarrassing! I sit up straight and look around but nobody is paying me any attention. Well, other than the woman who routinely eyefucks me every time we're in the same room. But she doesn't count. I vow silently to pay more attention and stop thinking about Sookie.

I get through the many tedious meetings I am forced to participate in and I am finally on my way back to the hotel. I realize I am almost as happy at the prospect of seeing Sookie now as I am at seeing my princess. I'm actually excited to go out to dinner with her. It feels like a date- with two important differences: my daughter will be coming along and I don't expect to fuck Sookie after. Not that I was a man whore before, but I did have a pretty good track record of first date sex. And I would love to continue this record with Sookie, I just don't expect to.

But, as I enter the hotel suite and watch Sookie walk towards me with a huge smile and a body hugging dress, I think that this just might be a night of the unexpected. I don't even know what she is wearing. Some sort of soft looking, gray, part sweater, part dress that hugs her every curve in the most delicious way. And to top it off she's wearing almost see through black stockings and knee high boots. Fuck. Me. I don't know whether I want to rub myself all over the soft fabric or rip it off and fuck her on the floor. Both. I want both. A soft growl escapes my mouth before I can stop it. If I had a genie I'd wish for this evening to end with my hands under that dress making her scream. That, or with the skirt flipped up and her panties pulled down while I bend her over the back of the couch. How about both?

I have been having all of these appalling thoughts as Sookie walks towards me with my baby girl. The only thing I can think of now, is that I hope Annika finds a better man than me. I just can't stop having impure thoughts about the nanny. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I take Annika from Sookie and kiss her all over her tiny face, which makes her laugh. "So, where are we going?" I ask. Then as casually as possible I say, "You look very nice tonight." Yes! I made her blush. I fucking love her blush.

"Thank you," she says shyly. She briefly looks at me before looking down. I don't think this woman knows how beautiful she is. This dress/boot thing she has going on is really working for her. The area of her body between where her dress ends and her boots begin, namely her gorgeous thighs, really stands out. I can't help thinking how I would love for those thighs to be wrapped around my waist as I drive into her over and over again- with the boots on, of course. Snap out of it, Northman! She's giving me a strange look.

"What?" she asks me because I've apparently been staring at her for some creepy amount of time.

"Uh, nothing!" I say a bit too brightly. Even I realize I sound like an idiot.

If she answered me about the restaurant, I didn't hear it. It's possible I was too busy ogling her body. To play it safe, I won't ask her again. "Shall we go?" I say instead. I get Annika dressed for outside.

She turns around to go get something and holy shit, the view from the back is even better. Her ass looks amazing in the soft clingy material of her dress. Now, I definitely want to bend her over the couch just to get the view from behind as I plow into her.

She comes back from her room winding a black and white scarf around her neck and then grabs her coat and purse and cheerfully says, "You ready? Let's go!" So if she's cheerful that means she didn't notice me drooling over her, right? Because she would not be cheerful if she knew the extent of my dirty fantasies.

I motion for her to walk ahead of me out the door because it's the gentlemanly thing to do. It has nothing to do with the fact that I want to watch her ass as she walks. Nothing. We make our way downstairs and catch a cab on the street. I look at her to give the driver our destination because I still don't know.

"Otto, please. On 8th and 5th Avenue. Thanks!" She is so smiley. I love it.

"Oh, Otto. That's Mario Batali's restaurant, right? It's like a train station inside." I've heard of it. This should be fun.

She looks at me for a second and I realize that she now knows I wasn't listening to her before but if she's upset with me, she doesn't show it. "Yeah, it's great! The food is awesome and it's really lively so a baby will fit right in. Of course, this little cherub would never cause any trouble, would you sweetheart?" She smiles at Annika and runs her hand down her little cheek. Oh, please pet me like that! I won't cause any trouble either. Can I tell her that? Probably not. It's a lie anyway, I _am_ a trouble maker.

We walk into Otto and the destination on our ticket comes up within a few minutes because Sookie made a reservation. When your table is ready, the city on the ticket they give you comes up on the train schedule board. I knew I was right to trust that she could take care of herself in the city. She knows what she's doing.

We look over the menu and both of us look up at the same time and say "Antipasti!" I grin at her and she grins back at me. We order a bunch of meats, veggies, and cheeses and the truffle honey that comes with the cheese is so fucking good. I want to drizzle it on Sookie and lick it off her. When she swipes a little of it off her plate and sucks her finger while moaning, I groan and have to cover it with a cough. Holy shit. This girl is going to kill me.

We both order pasta even though this is a pizzeria. I get fusili with sausage and she gets something that looks like lasagna noodles with a lot of red sauce. Her first bite leaves sauce all over her mouth which she licks off, pink tongue gliding over her lips, much to the amusement of my dick. Stake me now. I'm ready to die.

If I ignore the fact that her reaction to her apparently orgasmically good food is making my dick ache, we are having a spectacular time. I have been hard since she took her first bite and it's starting to hurt, but besides that, our conversation has not stalled once and we are laughing and having fun.

Annika is having fun watching all the people and everyone who passes her says hi to her. She has always been an attention grabber. It helps that she smiles brightly at everyone who even looks at her. God, I'm lucky. She is nothing like me. She's actually more like Sookie now that I think about it. They both spread sunshine wherever they go.

"I think we would be good friends if I didn't work for you," says Sookie, which makes me laugh. "Oh! That didn't come out right. I mean, we could, um," she is obviously horrified that her words could be insulting but it just makes me laugh harder.

"Yeah," I say, once I've recovered. "I know what you mean." Yeah, we could be a lot of things if she didn't work for me.

We finish our pasta and decide to get gelato which is a really unbelievably bad idea. Watching her lick her spoon over and over, while she gasps and moans about her "heavenly" gelato is making my previously aching dick throb. If I was a teenager, I would have already cum in my pants. There is nothing heavenly about my thoughts. They are downright wicked and they involve gelato, candle wax, and Sookie's naked body. See? I'm going right to hell when she finally kills me.

When at last she finishes her dessert I am glad for the reprieve of paying the bill before I have to stand up. I need the time to get my dick under control. It is seriously going to revolt if it doesn't get some action soon. I want this woman so fucking bad but the strange thing is, even if she doesn't want me back, if she only wants to be my friend I really think that would be okay too.

We get up to leave and as we are making our way out of the restaurant, a woman waiting for her table stops us. She looks at both Sookie and me and says, "I just wanted to say that your baby is just the cutest baby I have ever seen! You guys make such a nice family!"

I look at Sookie and can see her turning red as she tries to think of something to say. Seizing this opportunity, I grab her hand and wink at her as I politely thank the woman for her kind words. I pull Sookie along with me as I exit the restaurant and the feel of her hand holding tightly onto mine puts a huge smile on my face.

As soon as we're outside, she starts sputtering at me and I grin as I say, "Well, there was no need to embarrass that kind woman, right? We'll just let her believe what she wants." I wink again as Sookie gives me an incredulous look. But I notice that her hand is still in mine and she has made no move to let go of me. This evening, that has so far exceeded all of my expectations, might soon exceed a few more if things keep going so well.

Annika falls asleep in the cab on the way back to the hotel so I change her and put her in the crib once we get there. One thing about my Anni is that once she is asleep she does not wake up no matter how she is jostled around.

As I turn around from putting her down, I see Sookie standing in the doorway of my room. I can only see her silhouette because it's mostly dark in the suite. I can make out her long shapely legs, the seductive curve of her hips, and the dip in her waist as she stands before me. I want her. I want her like a coke fiend wants his next fix. My need for her consumes me and my body aches for hers. These thoughts and nothing else are swirling in my head as I stalk towards her.

As I get closer to her, she starts moving back. Her eyes catch mine and I can see in her eyes that she is not running away from me. No, she is pulling me with the force of her gaze and suddenly I am the prey. I am helplessly ensnared on her line and she's reeling me in. She backs up until she hits the back of the couch and then she somehow turns us around so that it's my back to the couch. She puts her hand on my chest and pushes me until I'm sitting on the edge of the couch back. She steps between my open legs, until we are so close together I can feel the heat coming off her body. My hands are unsteady as I reach for her and my breath uneven. What the fuck is she doing to me? I can feel her breath on my neck as she leans into me and my heart races. I breathe her in, her sweet scent surrounds me. I am hypnotized by the rise and fall of her breasts and my pants are unbearably tight.

She puts her hands into my suit jacket, running them up over my stomach and chest before pushing the jacket from my shoulders. As she smoothes her hands down my arms, the jacket falls to the couch. She reaches around to the back of my neck, lifting my collar and sending shivers down my spine. She slowly loosens my tie and slips it over my head. She puts it over her own head and it settles between her perfect breasts. Holy. Shit. She reaches out and traces the line of my jaw with her fingertips and runs her thumb across my bottom lip. My mouth opens and my eyes close because she feels so good. She is in complete control of me. When she leans forward and slides her tongue across my lip like she just did her thumb, I can't suppress the moan that leaves my mouth. My hands go to her back so I can pull her closer and she captures my lip between hers and sucks on it. Holy fucking shit. I open my mouth to her and her tongue finds mine. She tastes like the caramel and coconut gelato she just ate and I can't get enough of her. I would rather kiss her than breathe, I need her so desperately.

But somewhere in the back of my mind is a voice yelling at me to stop. Yelling that this is wrong. That she works for me and that I have no business with my tongue in her mouth. I am fighting against this voice with every stroke of my tongue against hers and every caress of my fingertips across her back. The voice gets quieter and quieter until she reaches down between our heated bodies to stroke my throbbing cock through my pants. I can't control the growl that emanates from deep in my chest or the warning voice that suddenly bellows _enough_! Shit!

I reluctantly pull back and reach down to stop her hand that's making me feel so damn good. She looks up at me, panting, confusion on her pretty face.

"I'm so sorry," I breathe, working hard to get myself under control. "I can't do this. We can't do this."

She stands silently, eyes intent on mine, and I can see her lust filled haze begin to lift. As she slowly comes back to her senses, her formerly heated look turns to shock and embarrassment. The last thing I want is for her to regret spending time with me. If I fail to control myself and it makes her want to leave us, I don't know what I will do. As much as I would love to bed her, I want her in my life even more. I want her in Annika's life.

Sookie steps back out of the shadow of my body and the look on her face scares me. "I'm sorry!" she says. "I got carried away. Please. Just pretend this didn't happen!"

"It's my fault," I sigh. I should have been in better control of myself.

"No! I went after you. Can you forget this happened?" She looks desperate.

I don't want to forget. I will never be able to forget the feel of her body or the touch of her lips. But that's not what I say, "Of course... But it's not your fault."

She smiles nervously at me, shaking her head, and practically runs into her room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Goddammit, Northman! The voice of my father echoes through my mind, _What a fuck up_. I am. I completely fucked that up. Things were going so well between us and now I don't know what will happen.

I grab my towel and head to the bathroom. Looks like I'll be taking care of myself in the shower. Again.

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**A/N: Sooo, I'm sorry to leave you hanging but I want this story to be at least somewhat realistic. I love the tension that comes from denied gratification so you'll have to wait a while for really good lemons. I hope that little zest will hold you over and that you will maintain interest in this story. I'm trying to make it entertaining so you will still enjoy it even without lemons. I hope you stick around! They will have a happy ending, things are still ok between them.**

**If you ever find yourself in NYC without dinner plans, check out Otto. The food is excellent and the truffle honey really is to die for- a bit savory, a whole lotta sweet. Just don't go if you have a headache, it is the loudest restaurant I've ever been to.**


	5. Chapter 5- The Make-Out, Sookie's POV

**I know I said I'd do one pov per day but I think a lot of people were surprised at Sookie's behavior so I wanted to give you her pov. Some clarity- Sookie was not naked. I re-read the scene and I realized it might have seemed that way because he was looking at her silhouette. She just had on a tight dress. Did anyone think she was naked?**

**So this is Sookie's pov starting when they left the restaurant. This will be pretty short.**

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>SOOKIE<p>

His hand is big and warm...and wrapped around mine. Why is this making me feel so good? He could have told that lady we are not together. He could have said thank you and just walked away. Instead he grabbed my hand. He's still holding onto me and I don't want him to let go.

I reluctantly do just that when the cab I signal stops and we climb in. Annika falls asleep in his arms on the way back to the hotel. There is something so endearing about this gorgeous giant man with a little sleeping baby on his chest and I fight the urge to just stare at them together. She is incredibly lucky to have him as her daddy.

I follow him into the hotel suite as he goes to lay Annika down and stand in the doorway watching him. When he puts her down, he looks up at me. I can see his gaze sweeping over me and when he lifts his eyes to my face, something in them changes. His gaze becomes steady and intense. His eyes are hungry, I can see desire on his face. He walks towards me with decisive steps and something inside me tells me to retreat. I take a step back to put more distance between us but then I decide I'm tired of backing down. I'm tired of withdrawing from situations like this. How long can I let my past affect my present? I want him and I can see that he wants me.

I continue walking backward but instead of fleeing, I am leading. I'm leading and he's following like a puppy follows his master. It's a powerful feeling to have a man so captured by you that he will follow you anywhere. I continue to back up as I guide him to the couch. He follows me as if we're dancing and I turn us around. This entire time he has been looking intently into my eyes as if he's hypnotized. He's much too tall and I need to bring his face to my level. I push him to sit down and he doesn't resist. I step into him and he brings shaky hands to my waist. I wonder how long it's been for him. It's been way too long for me.

He still in his jacket and tie and even though he looks so damn good, they need to go. I smooth my hands over his stomach and chest, feeling every ripple of muscle on my way to his shoulders. I have seen his naked torso. I know he is incredibly well built, but seeing and touching are two different things, and touching is infinitely better. After I get rid of his jacket, I work on his tie. As I lift his collar my fingers graze the little hairs on the back of his neck and I see a shiver run through his body. I put the tie around my own neck. Lots of men have naughty school girl fantasies and I can tell by the darkening of his eyes that he is one of them.

His face is perfection and I need to touch him. I run my fingers over his strong jaw and trace his bottom lip with my thumb. His lips, like the rest of him, are beautiful. Full and red, they beckon to me. He parts them and closes his eyes. I lean into him and slide my tongue across his lip and he moans into my mouth. The vibration of his voice against my lips sends a shockwave through me. The wave heads south and inflames my body. Suddenly I need more of him. I suck on his lip until he opens his mouth so I can taste him better. His mouth is sweet like his dessert. I could kiss him all night long. He pulls me towards him and our kiss deepens. He runs his fingertips up and down my back with a surprisingly gentle touch. His chest rumbles with his every breath, sending heat down my body.

I put my hand on his taught stomach, feeling it expand and contract as he breathes. He's close to panting, his muscles ripple under my hand. I slide that hand down to his hip and across the hard length of him straining against his pants. My fingers encircle him and stroke firmly. He growls, low and deep, and I feel him pulse in my hand.

Suddenly I feel his hand on top of mine as his mouth pulls away from me. I look at him, wondering why he is stopping. He mumbles something that my brain can't comprehend right now. I'm in a sex haze and need a minute to clear my head. I can tell by the look on his face that he is not happy. He's still breathing just as hard as I am as his words register. _We can't do this. _I know he's right and this is wrong. I apologize to him for getting carried away but he sighs and tells me it's his fault. I was a very willing participant but I can see the self deprecating look on his face. I can't let him take the blame for this. He has enough stress in his life without having to think that he took advantage of me. Because he so did not. This look on his face is one I've come to hate. I can't believe I made him feel this way. This was not my intention.

He's looking at me with those hurt eyes and I have to get away from him. I need to figure out a way to fix this but I can't look at his precious sad face anymore. I need some space so I walk quickly to my room and shut the door. I need a cold shower and a good night's sleep. It has been a very long day.  
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**A/N: So that's how Sookie feels. She enjoyed kissing and fondling Eric, she would have continued, but she feels bad that he feels bad. Eric, as a man and someone who has been hurt in the past, does not always correctly interpret the actions or intentions of others. He is quick to blame himself and assign untrue motivations to others. This will all come out eventually in the story but I thought I'd give you a little glimpse into him now. The next chapter will continue with Sookie's pov on the next day.**


	6. Chapter 6

**There is nothing changed in the next three chapters except for the Author's Notes because I was alerted that I'm not allowed to interact with reviewers in the story, only in PMs. Who knew? Sorry.**

**What? Three chapters in three days? Yes, because you all are so kind and there are more than 100 reviews for this story! I completed this chapter yesterday and decided to post it for you guys today. I probably won't post another for about a week because I need to work on my other fic and I need to get ready for a class I start teaching next week. So, I hope this will hold you over. Thank you for all the reviews on this story. Every time I read one I turn into Mikey's brother. ****_They like it!_**** (I probably just dated myself there, lol)**  
>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<br>SOOKIE

I wake up because I can hear Annika crying. I listen for a couple seconds thinking Eric is going to get her because she's in his room. I really don't want to face him just yet. When she's still crying after a minute I get up and walk through the suite to his bedroom. I knock on the door but get no answer. Annika is getting really upset so I open the door to get her. She's standing up in the crib and when she sees me she reaches her little arms out for me.

"Oh, poor baby," I say picking her up. "Where's your daddy?"

I get her supplies out and lay her on the bed to change her diaper before I go make her a bottle.

Just as I'm finishing and I pick her back up, Eric comes walking into the room. I don't know what it is about him but I just always seem to catch him when he's less than fully dressed. This time, however, beats every other time by a long shot. Eric is standing in front of me clad only in a small white hotel towel. He is dripping wet, his hair sticking to his forehead in a boyish way. What is not boyish, in any freakin' way, is his body. His chest and abs are glistening wet and the towel does little to hide the bulge at his crotch. Oh sweet Jesus! I felt what's under that towel last night. Suddenly everything about yesterday evening floods into my mind. What started out as a really fun night, ended so messed up. But my regret does not render me immune to his body. No, seeing him practically naked before me is making me think of how he felt when I had my hands all over him. I'm staring at him and I can only hope I'm not drooling. I really can't make myself stop looking at him. Oh my god, stop staring!

"I heard her crying. I didn't know you were in here," he says and I finally look at his face. He looks suitably chagrined. He recovers quickly, though, and I think I see a wicked glint of something in his eye.

I know my face has to be bright red because I've been staring but he seems pretty nonchalant apart from his brief look of unease. He walks over to Annika, who is in my arms- hello!- and kisses her good morning. What the heck is he trying to do to me? Is it possible to die both from shame and desire at the same time?

"I'm going to feed her," I say in a strangled voice and practically run out of the room with her. Damn him and his perfect body!

Thankfully, the next time I see him he's dressed. He seems completely normal when he sees me. Like I didn't just see him with only a towel. I know Swedes aren't bothered by nudity but especially after last night he's acting so normal. _I'm an American_, I want to scream. _You can't just do that to me! _I don't think I'm ever going to be the same again! Every time I see a glimpse of his skin I will be reminded of last night.

I'm feeding Annika and he says he wants me to come upstairs to the breakfast buffet with him to eat. He says he'll feed her while I get ready. I just nod and hand him the spoon and then hightail it to my bedroom.

I'm glad for the excuse to go into my room and close the door. I take a deep breath as soon as the door clicks closed. I know I'm overreacting. Especially given Eric's non reaction. And really, he wasn't even naked. Judging by my reaction to towel Eric, if I ever saw naked Eric, I'd faint. I try to tell myself not to make it a big deal but his naked chest reminds me of the feel of it pressed against mine like it was last night. That thought only reminds me of his lips pressed to mine and soon I am breathing just as hard as I was last night when he finally stopped kissing me. Stop it, Sookie! Stop thinking about his talented tongue in your mouth. I take a deep breath or two and by the time I'm dressed- in jeans and a fluffy blue sweater- I am calm and thinking rationally again. I'm ready to face him without feeling awkward.

Except when I see him, looking all gorgeous in his slim trousers and fitted black v-neck sweater, my entire self pep talk goes out the window. I didn't really look at him when he came out of his room before so I wasn't prepared for this sexiness. I've only ever seen him in a suit before, well, or a towel, and this new look practically screams sex. I think I like it better than the towel. Maybe. In any case, I know I've been looking at him for far too long. And I haven't been looking at his face. So when I finally lift my eyes and see that damn eyebrow arched above his eye as he just waits for me to stop eyefucking him, I am supremely embarrassed. I can feel my face heating up and I want to die.

He grins at me and says, "I don't always wear a suit," in a way that makes it known that he knows why I was staring at him. How long until I can go home? I will not survive much longer.

The elevator ride up to breakfast is silent except for Annika's babbling. She really is the happiest baby I've ever watched, which is surprising because her dad seems kind of...moody. He is really good to her, though, which I guess is why she's so happy. I smile at her as she looks all around the elevator with wide happy eyes. She has expressive eyes just like Eric. It's really cute to see him in her face and her expressions.

I'm just glad Pam is not coming with us right now. Lunch with her yesterday was okay and I think she didn't hate me by the end, but I know she would sense whatever weird thing is happening between me and Eric. She knows him too well not to. I'm glad she's a good friend to Eric, though, and I like the way she teases him. It's nice to see him laugh.

The elevator stops at the top floor of the hotel. The restaurant, aptly named Upstairs, is stunning with huge windows and a glass ceiling. The view of the city is spectacular. There is lots of outdoor seating and I wish it was warm enough for that. This place really is amazing. The breakfast buffet is fantastic of course, and Eric eats a ton. I don't even see how he can eat so much and stay so thin.

"How do you stay in such good shape?" I ask him before I can stop myself. That brain/mouth filter thing most people have? Yeah, mine was broken long ago. At least I ended the awkward silence that had settled on our table. I give him my most apologetic smile for once again diving into his personal life without thought. "It's just that you eat...a lot and you're so... thin and...in...shape..." Why is he letting me go on? Why doesn't he stop me? Why is he smiling at me like that? I close my mouth and my eyes and just breathe. Clearly this morning needs a do-over. And as long as we're thinking about it, let's start with last night.

"I like it when you do that," he says quietly. I have no idea what he's talking about so I open my eyes and look at him in confusion. He continues, "When you get embarrassed and ramble on and turn pink. I like it."

I just stare at him. I have no idea what to say right now. He likes when I make a fool of myself?

We say nothing for a few seconds, we're just staring at each other. Then Eric stands up, throws some money on the table, picks up Annika, and tells me to enjoy my breakfast and he'll meet me back at the room. He eats much faster so I'm only halfway done but I can't help the feeling that he's running away because I made him uncomfortable. Or he made me uncomfortable. Whatever happened, both of us are clearly uncomfortable. Again. Is it really only Thursday morning?

I make my way back to the room with dread like a hot knife through my stomach. I ate as slowly as I could but I just couldn't dawdle any longer. I think our waitress was giving me a look too. She probably wants to get in his pants like every other freakin' woman who looks at him, including me, shamefully. Why can't things just be easy between us? Because he's insanely gorgeous? Because I want to throw him down and have my way with him? Because he's my boss and I had my tongue in his mouth and my hands all over him last night? Oh- possibly that.

I open the door to our suite to find Eric on the floor with Annika. He jumps up when he sees me and comes to stand in front of me. He dips his body down so we are at eye level with each other and gives me a little smile, remorse all over his face. I smile back and his relief is evident in the softening of his features.

"I'm sorry, Sookie," he says. "Shit, I always seem to be apologizing to you. I just...fuck. I don't know. I want us to be friends. I don't want you to feel like you can't work for me. I shouldn't have said that at breakfast. I don't know why I did."

He looks into my eyes and I smile. I have a thousand things running through my head right now but I can't find a single word to say. I'm glad he continues so I don't have to.

"I don't want what almost happened to change things. When I'm around you..." He shakes his head and starts again. "Just please stay. For her?" he gestures to Annika. "I really would like to try to forget about last night and go back to how it was. Do you think that's possible?"

I finally put my words in order so I can respond. "Eric, don't worry. If you want to forget about last night, I will. And look, I'm going to stay, ok? For Annika and for you. I want us to be friends too." I give him my most sincere smile. I really do like him. A lot. If he wants to be my friend, I will take what I can get.

He smiles back and the tension that had been so thick in the air seems to dissipate. I think we're okay. Things seem to go back to normal- or as normal as they get with us. He sits back down on the floor with Annika, who crawls over to him.

He tells me he has meetings all day but that I am free to find something I want to do in the city. He just wants me to keep my cell phone on so he can reach me if needed. I'm surprised that he trusts me in Manhattan with his baby. I thought he was more uptight than that.

As if he knows what I'm feeling he says, "I'm trying to relax," and gives me a sheepish smile. God, he's adorable. How he can go from smolderingly sexy to boyishly adorable so easily is beyond me. I know I shouldn't be thinking like that but I can't help it. He's just so beautiful.

He gets up and grabs the stuff he'll need for the day. He hands me fifty dollars and tells me it's for lunch and whatever I want to do in the city. I try to tell him that it's way too much but he won't take any back. He kisses his baby and then leaves.

I decide to hang out in the suite until after Annika's nap so we just play and dance around until she gets sleepy. I put her to sleep and curl up on the couch with my book. This time to actually read it.

When I was sitting on the plane to New York City, I was pretending to read. I didn't want to talk to Pam and Eric but I couldn't just sit and stare like David Puddy. So I got my book out and I pretended to read. Maybe sad but Pam is damn intimidating at first and frankly, she scared me! I didn't want to have to make small talk with her and Eric.

My cell phone rings so I put my book down. I can see by the number that it's Eric.

"Hello?" I say.

"Sookie? Hi," he says.

"Hi," I say again. Yup, back to awkward.

He laughs a little and then tells me about some dinner he has tonight that he forgot to tell me about earlier. It's a 'working social dinner' which sounds pretty horrible to me. I don't think it sounds any better to him judging by the sound of his voice when he tells me about it. He says he will be back late and to bring Annika's crib out to the living room so that I can hear her if she needs anything. I love how he is always thinking of her. I tell him I will and wish him a goodnight.

When Annika wakes up, I feed and change her and pack up her stuff to go out. I decide to go to the Museum of Modern Art because I want to see what's new there and I like to look at all the Picasso's they have.

After the museum, we eat lunch and then go back to the hotel for Annika's next nap. She falls asleep on the way back so I carefully put her in the crib and then go in the living room to watch some tv. I end up falling asleep on the couch.

I wake up with heat between my legs. I've just had the most erotic dream of my life. It starred Eric, of course, and what was under his towel this morning. The towel left little to the imagination and between that and my previous night's groping fingers, my sleeping mind had no problem figuring out the rest. And, hot damn, what his dream body could do! And his dream fingers. And I already know what his mouth can do. I need another cold shower.

I know I shouldn't be dreaming about him. We are just supposed to be friends. It just seems like we have this really weird connection. Sometimes things are just plain awkward between us but other times, when he looks at me, or we touch, it's like I can feel something deeper. And last night- well, that was spectacular until it ended abruptly.

I hear Annika wake up and I check the time. It's later than usual. She must have been worn out too. It's almost dinner time and I really don't feel like going out to eat. I call the front desk and they tell me of a pizza place that will deliver to the hotel so that's what I do. I feed Annika her baby food while I wait for the delivery. The pizza is really good. I love New York pizza. There is nothing like it. It's huge so I put most of it in the fridge under the wet bar. I'm sure Eric will eat it at some point.

Since we're finished eating, I decide to give Annika a bath because we have nothing better to do. Eric will be home too late to do it. I start the bath while I undress Annika. The bathrooms in this place are huge and beautiful. This whole place is exquisite. When I first walked into the lobby with Eric, I was enthralled. I wasn't paying attention to Eric checking in until I noticed all the women who suddenly came to help him with, well, nothing. What did he need help with? They were just hovering and smiling at him and trying to talk to him. One asked how long he'd be staying, one asked after his "precious baby girl," and one really wanted him to need some recommendations for dining or entertainment. I think she wanted to be the entertainment. I was watching him to see how he'd react but he honestly didn't seem to notice the fawning. He answered any questions with short polite answers, he smiled but it was not his tv smile, he went about his business as quickly as he could and then he walked away. Either he is completely oblivious to how freaking attractive he is or he just doesn't like to be drooled over by simpering women. Either way is good I guess.

The bath is at a good level for Annika so I put her in along with the toys we brought. She splashes and chews the rubber duck while I wash her. I let her stay in and play until the water gets cold because she loves it so much.

I sit her in the living room once I've put on her pajamas and go to make her last bottle before bed. I pull her crib out into the living room and then settle in one of the comfy chairs to feed her. Soon she is asleep and I go into my bedroom to read before I go to sleep. About forty-five minutes later Annika wakes up so I go out to get her back to sleep. As I'm dancing with her, her little head just keeps whipping around looking all around the living room. She won't lay her head down and relax so I think maybe she is scared out here in this big room. I pull the crib into my room and try again and this time she lays her head against me and falls right to sleep. I go out to the living room and watch some tv until I get tired.

It's late when Eric gets back and I am in bed. I have been trying but I haven't been able to get to sleep. I hear him come in. I hear what sounds like a stumble and then a curse. It sounds like cursing but it's not in English so I'm not sure. I hear him walk into the living room and then I hear him curse again. That's when I realize that he doesn't know his baby is in here with me. I'm about to get up and go tell him I have her when he slowly opens the door to my room. I left it halfway open on purpose because I have Annika in here so he just has to push it open a little to be able to see her.

When he comes into the room I sit up against the headboard and whisper, "I brought her in here because she was having a hard time sleeping. I didn't mean to scare you."

He sighs and comes closer to look down on his sleeping baby. "That's ok. Did I wake you up?"

"I wasn't asleep," I say. "How was your night?" We're both whispering and it feels oddly intimate in the dark.

He surprises me by sitting down on the bed. He's not sitting extremely close to me but it's close enough that I tuck my feet up under me so he doesn't sit on them.

He sighs again. "A fucking nightmare," he says. Then he seems to regain some of his composure and says, "Sorry. It was long and boring and full of clingy women and political bullshit." Try as he might, he just can't seem to stop cursing. Not that I mind. I notice that his accent is much more pronounced right now and he smells a little bit like alcohol. I wonder if he's drunk. He's at least buzzed.

"I'm sorry you had a shitty night," I say so that he doesn't feel so bad about cursing. I really don't mind, although I rarely do it. I silently wonder about these "clingy women."

He flashes me a smile that I can make out by the light of the hall. "The night seems to be getting better right now," he says and I don't know what to say to that. Is he flirting with me? It seems to be his new favorite pastime but I thought we weren't doing this. He must be drunk.

"Eric, how much did you drink tonight?" I ask him. Not that I'm scared he would do anything but I just don't want him to regret anything tomorrow.

"A little. Well, more than a little but I'm not drunk. I'm a big guy, I could drink all night and not be drunk."

Well, I'm sure that's not true but I guess he doesn't seem drunk. He's definitely feeling fine though.

"So, was the food good at least?" I know he likes to eat so this seems like a good question to change his weird mood.

"Eh," he says and looks pointedly at me, "I've had better." Well, shoot.

I don't say anything because I'm not _really_ sure what he's talking about.

"I don't know what it is about these women, Sookie. I don't act interested. I am _not_ interested but they just won't leave me alone. Do you know how hard it is to carry on a business conversation with an executive who won't stop brushing your thigh? It's fucking awkward as hell!" Did he read my mind about the clingy women?

I try not to laugh because he's serious but he is so adorably flustered. I smile at him. "Eric, you're a good looking man. They want you. That's what it is."

That was probably overstepping some boundaries, huh? I never know when to stop talking. It's like a theme with me lately. He just looks at me and it's like I can see the wheels turning in his head.

"Sookie, did I ever tell you about Annika's mother?" That is not what I thought he was thinking about. He sounds sad and as much as I don't want him to regret confiding in me, I also think that maybe he needs to talk about it.

"No, you never did," I say gently.

He sighs for the third time tonight and every time he does it, it's like my insides clench. It's just such a sad sound and I don't like it coming from him. He drops his head into his hands for a second. He's killing me.

"We were together for three years, three fucking years, when she found out she was pregnant. She threw away three years and the best fucking baby girl in the world because she wasn't ready. She wasn't fucking ready!" His voice is getting louder and his accent heavier as he is getting more upset. I don't know what to say to him.

"Sophie. Her name is Sophie. I hate her. I fucking hate her! I loved her so much. She didn't want me." Ah. His voice breaks and I am so afraid he's going to cry but after a second he seems to pull himself together.

"I would have done anything for her. I wanted to marry her when she told me she was pregnant. Hell, I wanted to marry her before that. But she wasn't ready. A baby didn't fit into the life she had planned for herself." He says this last part in a way that makes me think he's quoting her. My heart is breaking for him. His voice is so bitter, his eyes are shiny with unshed tears, and his face is etched with hurt and anger. I hate that she does this to his beautiful face. I hate what she did to this beautiful man.

"She had Annika, gave her to me, and then she fucking left her. She left us. What kind of a cold-hearted fucking bitch just leaves her baby?" He's getting really agitated now and I think he's going to wake up Annika, which I know he would be upset about, so I try to think of something to calm him down.

I have the urge to throw my arms around him but I don't think that would help. He just seems so broken right now, though. Instead, I scoot up next to him and give his hand a squeeze while I run my other hand up and down his back. He lifts his head to look at me. It's like time stops when he looks into my eyes and I can feel my breath quickening. His mouth opens slightly and he leans very slightly forward. Is he going to kiss me again? I really really want him to but I know we shouldn't especially after our talk today. So before he can lean in more, I lean into him. Only instead of his mouth, I kiss his cheek softly and then just kind of stay there, with my cheek against his. It's a sort of half hug since my hand is still on his back. He's breathing in my ear. His breath is shaky and I can see that he doesn't know what to do with his hands. They hover towards me but then he drops them. He drops his head against my shoulder for a very brief second before he stands abruptly and walks quickly to the door. Shoot! Did I just make things worse? I probably shouldn't have done that. Maybe he wasn't going to kiss me anyway.

He's at the door and he stops briefly to say goodnight but he doesn't even turn around to look at me. I feel like an ass.

I get back under the covers with a sigh and close my eyes to try to sleep. I know it's going to take me a while because I will keep thinking. I always think too much while I'm laying in bed trying to sleep. I again lay there dreading tomorrow. He's not drunk so he's going to remember everything he said to me and I hope he doesn't regret what he told me. I don't know how he's going to act around me. I shouldn't have let him talk about Annika's mom. I hope he will just pretend nothing happened because that's what I plan to do. Just like today. Denial. It's quickly becoming my constant companion.

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**A/N: I hope you liked this chapter even though it's lemon free. And I guess nobody thought Sookie was naked the night before. Maybe I just have my mind in the gutter. ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here is chapter seven. It starts the morning after the last chapter and this is Eric's pov. It's Friday morning and the conference ends this morning. I hope you enjoy it! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these guys. They belong to Charlaine Harris and part of the fun of putting them in an alternate universe is that I can make them the polar opposite of hers in some ways. **

**Formatting is being all wonky on ff so if this looks weird, I apologize.**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ERIC

I wake up and look around for Annika before I remember she's in Sookie's room. Just like I was last night. Shit. That was a stupid move on my part to sit and talk with her like that. I told her way more than I should have. She didn't need to know all my fucking baggage. What is it about her that makes me want to spill my fucking guts? Talking in the dark makes it way too easy to over share. That, and Sookie is just easy to talk to. Everything I throw at her, she catches. Every time I think I will get one reaction from her I get another. Something unexpected- that's what she is. After so many boring months I have come to like the unexpected. I like this girl. Shit, I really fucking like her.

I realize I only have two weeks left with her. That thought makes me simultaneously sad and relieved. Sad, because well, I like her. But relieved because it's hard to behave around her. _I_ can behave, but sometimes my dick has other ideas. Like all this twitching he's been doing and the hard-ons when she blushes. The more I'm around this girl, the less control I have over what happens in my pants. I'm like a teenager with an uncontrollable hard-on for half the day. Shit, the thought of being a teenager again makes me shudder. No fucking way.

I head over to the counter to make some coffee and I look out the window and see a bunch of snow falling. What the fuck? Since when is it supposed to snow? I check the weather forecast because our flight home leaves this afternoon after my morning meeting. We need to be checked out of the hotel by noon. Shit! Apparently Mother Nature decided to shit on my return plans and keep me locked up with Sookie for another day. Just what I need when I'm trying to control myself around her. I look up my flight just in case someone up there likes me and the airport is still open. Well, apparently the gods hate me because our flight has indeed been cancelled. Fuck! I call the front desk to let them know we will need our room for at least one more night.

"I'm sorry Mr. Northman, it looks like that room is booked for tonight. We have a wedding party coming in and most of the hotel is booked. I do have a one bedroom suite available. Will that be acceptable?"

Are you fucking kidding? Hell no! "How many beds?" I say gruffly.

"Pardon me?"

"How many beds does the room have?" I try to make my voice sound calmer.

"Oh! Two double beds in the room. One pull out couch in the sitting area. Would that be acceptable sir?"

"Yes. Fine." I guess I'll take the sofa bed.

"Shall I have a valet come to help you move your baggage sir?"

"Uh, yes. But give me an hour. My daughter is still asleep."

"Sure thing, sir. Thank you. Please let me know if you need _anything_ else." She says these last words with a purr and I wonder if she's one of the women who made a spectacle of themselves when I checked in. It's seriously unattractive to be so desperate.

"No, that will be all," I say quickly and hang up.

Shit! I want to scream it as I pace the floor, but I can't with Sookie and Annika in the next room. Goddamn fucking shit! I'm about to lose my fucking mind on this trip with Sookie and now I have to spend another night in even closer proximity to her.

"Eric what's wrong?"

I whip around to face Sookie. She must have come out without me hearing. Fuck!

"Snowstorm," I grit out. "We're fucking stuck here."

Sookie goes to the window to look out and says, without turning around, "It's so beautiful when it's falling isn't it? Look how big these flakes are. They're so fluffy!"

What? I don't understand this girl. I am seething mad and on the verge of a man tantrum and she's excited about the damn snowflakes. I blow out a big breath I didn't know I was holding and I start to relax a bit. How is she so good at calming the beast?

"You don't do so well with unexpected changes do you? When things don't go according to plan?" she says, turning to look right at me.

"Uh, I guess not," I answer, slightly embarrassed that this girl has my number so quickly. At this point, she knows way too much about me. And none of the good things.

She smiles at me and I want to run to her and bury my face in her neck like it was last night so she can make me feel better again. "It's just one more day, right? We'll go home tomorrow? It'll be okay. We have extras for the baby and we can order movies and relax tonight," she says like she's happy at the prospect.

"I guess," I say. I'm unconvinced that tonight will be so relaxing. At least it seems like she's not bothered by last night's pathetic confession. "I called the front desk and we can't stay in this room, though. They're giving us another room but it's smaller." That was calm. I think I will be okay.

"Smaller?" She's looking slightly less happy.

"Yeah, it's a one bedroom but there is a sofa bed so I'll sleep there, don't worry. They're going to send someone to help us move our stuff in an hour. Can you pack up your stuff and I'll do Annika's and mine?"

"Don't you have a meeting soon? I can pack for you. You need to get ready. Or did they cancel it?"

"No, they didn't cancel it but you don't have to pack for me." Why is she so nice? I've never met anyone as nice as she is.

"Eric, it's fine. It's not much. And I have nothing better to do."

I don't know. Her face seems so sincere but I don't want to take advantage of her kindness. "Okay, thank you," I say finally.

I go to pour myself another cup of coffee. I will need it today. "Do you want some coffee? I made some," I tell her.

"Oh, no. I don't drink coffee. Thank you," she says. She doesn't drink coffee? Wow, that's weird. She's in college. I thought they all drank coffee.

"Really? It's like my lifeblood, I can't get along without it," I tell her seriously. "I would mainline it if I could!"

She laughs and says she never liked it all that much but will sometimes drink it with lots of cream and sugar.

Annika wakes up so she goes to get her while I get ready for my morning meeting. When I finish my shower I have to walk to my room in a towel again. Okay, I don't really but I don't enjoy getting dressed in a steamy bathroom and I don't have a robe. I try to hurry across the room but I know from her soft gasp that she sees me. She can't help it, she's right across from me feeding Annika. At least I'm not all wet this time? Although, it was really fun to see how flustered she got. Especially when I walked up to her to kiss Anni. Just another example of why I'm a trouble maker.

I have another sweater to wear this morning. This one is light blue and I think it looks pretty good on me. I hope Sookie will eyefuck me again because I liked it. Sometimes it's fun to be a piece of meat when you like the person who wants to devour you. And I meant what I said about liking her blush when she gets embarrassed. I just guess I shouldn't have told her that.

I get dressed and walk out to see Sookie feeding Annika some Cheerios and oatmeal. The sight before me is bittersweet. It looks so familial. As if we all live together and this is a normal occurrence. It makes my heart stutter at the thought. It might be a good thing that she'll be leaving soon because I can see myself getting attached to her. It's better she leaves than I start to fall...no. Not going there.

When I come out, Sookie tells me that she packed up Annika's food and that there is leftover pizza if I want some. Cold pizza for breakfast is one of my favorite things! I devour two pieces before I notice her looking at me with a smile.

"What?" I say. Why is she staring at me?

"Nothing," she says. "It's just nice to see you happy."

"Pizza," I say stupidly, holding up my next slice.

"You're such a guy," she says laughing as she walks away with Annika.

I could show her further evidence of that... See? Trouble.

"So, the valet should be here in a few minutes and I need to leave for my meeting now. Are you sure you can handle the packing?"

"Yeah, Eric. It's fine," she says.

"Okay, thank you. I should be done by lunch and I can pick up something to eat on my way back. What do you feel like eating?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Surprise me," she says with a bright smile. I doubt she wants what I would like to surprise her with.

I smile back and say, "You got it!"

Once again, I'm sitting in my meeting barely paying attention. Once again, I can't stop thinking about Sookie. I don't know what to do. I want her. Goddamn, do I want her. But it's been so long since I've been with a woman and even longer since I've been with a woman who I like. And the last one didn't exactly turn out ideally. That fucking relationship turned into shit and I'd regret it except it gave me my Anni. It's Annika that I'm thinking about when I restrain myself from going after Sookie. I really like Sookie but it's scary to think about being in a relationship. I don't think Sookie is the kind of woman I could fuck once and then leave. She's too good for that.

Finally, my meeting is over and I hurry to get some food. The snow is really coming down. It must have accumulated three or four inches during the three hour meeting. I go to the front desk to ask about my new room and the woman behind the desk is way too eager to help me. Ick.

I go up to the room with a bunch of food from The National, which is around the corner. I start to set it all out on the table and Sookie comes to see what I got.

My attention is on the food I'm putting out so I don't realize she is so close to me until I see her reach for me. She brushes her hand through my hair and it makes me shiver. I have goosebumps all over. What the fuck? And why did she do that? I look at her, surprised by both her action and my reaction. She looks embarrassed.

"Snow in your hair," she says quietly with a shy smile. We are still staring at each other until she eventually drops her eyes and steps back from me and I feel like I can breathe again. Huh, I didn't realize my lungs had stopped working.

"Ok," I say, pointing to each item on the table, "Burger, pulled chicken sandwich, Caesar salad, fries, and macaroni and cheese."

She's looking at me like I'm crazy. I smile and shrug. "I didn't know what you'd want."

She smiles and takes the chicken sandwich. She opens the container and adds half the salad, and some fries. "Thank you!" she says. "This all looks really good. Do you think Annika can have some mac and cheese? I think she could eat it. She does great with the Cheerios."

Annika? Eating macaroni and cheese? I must look really uncomfortable because she squeezes my arm and says, "How about we just give her one piece and see how she does?" She's talking to me like I'm a skittish animal. Am I that pathetic?

"Okay," I say, not feeling very brave about this whole thing. This is my baby girl and it's freaking me the fuck out.

Sookie picks up Annika and sits her in the little travel seat at the table. She gets a little of the macaroni out of the container and cuts it up a little with the spoon. "I'm gonna put some on the table and she can pick it up."

I'm watching really closely and my heart is in my throat. God, does every parent feel this way or am I just crazy? Looking at Sookie, who is so calm about this all, makes me think I am crazy.

She looks at my face and comes over to me. "Hey," she says, putting her hand on my chest. "She doesn't have to have any. Are you freaking out?" The sincerity in her eyes is surprising. I'd be making fun of me because I know I'm acting like a fool.

"No, no," I say. "Give her some. I can't keep her from feeding herself because I'm an uptight idiot."

"Eric, you are not an idiot!" She's looking at me like she's mad at me but in the next second her face softens and she grins at me. "Uptight, maaaybe a little," she says with a wink. In the next instant she's serious and I feel like I'm going to get whiplash from her mood changes. "You are a good dad, Eric," she says sincerely, "And if you don't want her to have it, that's fine. It's just for practice at this point anyway."

I think I'm doing alright at this Dad thing- I'm not failing- and it's nice to hear someone else thinks so too. I'm pretty sure I'm beaming an obnoxious smile at her. "Let's see how she does," I say. Now it's her turn to beam at me.

She puts the food in front of Annika and we both laugh as Annika picks it up and drops it right onto the floor.

"Well, so much for that," Sookie says, still laughing.

"Anni," I say as I scoop her up and fly her above my head, "Min lilla docka, I love you!" She puts her cheese covered fingers in my mouth and laughs when I pretend to eat her up.

"What was that you said?" Sookie asks. "Was that Swedish?"

"Yeah, I called her my little doll. I speak to her in Swedish sometimes. I would love her to be bilingual but I'm not sure how that will happen if she's never around any other Swedes."

"Well, if you speak to her in mostly Swedish, she will pick it up fast. She's at the age right now when they start to be more in tune with the languages they've heard already. So if you want her to be able to speak it one day, you should start now."

"Language acquisition, right?" That's the course she told me she took. This girl is smart.

"Yup! How often do you make it make to Sweden?" she asks. I should have known this topic would bring us around to this question.

"Uh, not often," I answer, "Not for several years."

"Oh," she says and I hope she will drop it but of course, she doesn't. "Did your family come here to see Annika when she was born?"

"They've never met her," I say.

She looks at me for what seems like an eternity before she smiles and sits down to eat her lunch.

I sit Annika back in her seat and go to get a change of clothes. I find my suitcase in the bedroom and get out some dark jeans and a black t-shirt. These are the clothes I would wear all the time if I didn't have to dress up for work. I tell Sookie I'm changing clothes as I walk to the bathroom.

I come back to the table and she is still eating. I've never been so happy for food to stuff in my mouth so I don't have to talk anymore. I told her enough about the shitty parts of my life last night. She doesn't need to think I'm even more pathetic. She's being really quiet, though, which worries me. She probably can't understand why someone wouldn't see their family in years. Well, I'm not spilling that right now.

So we keep eating and the only sound is the occasional humming of Annika as she eats her Cheerios and whatever Sookie is feeding her. The girl likes food and sometimes she hums her approval of something particularly good. I look over at her and smile every time she does it.

"You do that too, you know," says Sookie with a big smile on her face. I do what too? I look up at her, confused, and she explains. "You hum when you eat sometimes. Like this morning with the pizza." Her smile is huge.

"Are you making fun of me?" I say with mock outrage.

She laughs, "No, it's cute!"

"Well, at least I don't sound like I'm having sex at the table," I say and then immediately regret it.

She's still laughing, which I'm grateful for. "What?" she says.

"You, uh, moan. A lot."

She stops laughing and turns red and I feel bad for making her uncomfortable. Shit, subject change. What can I talk about?

"So, what should we do this afternoon?" I say, with more enthusiasm than this topic deserves. "It's snowing too hard to go outside so we're stuck here."

We end up spending the afternoon playing with Annika and playing cards after she goes down for her afternoon nap. The conversation flows really nicely again. We decide to get dinner from the hotel restaurant since the snow is still coming down. Sookie eats really quietly and I once again regret saying anything about her noises. I kind of miss her moans. They were fun.

After dinner, I bathe Annika and I don't notice until I turn around when were finished, that Sookie has been watching us. She smiles but doesn't say anything. She has a weird, far away look on her face and I want to ask her what she's thinking but I don't.

I give Annika her last bottle and she falls asleep for the night. When I come out to the living room, Sookie is watching tv so I sit next to her on the couch. She turns her body towards me and asks what I want to watch. I know we have to talk about last night but I'm not sure how to bring it up. I'm stumbling all over my words as I say, "I, uh...do you want to...um..."

She stops me with a hand on my knee. I look down at her hand, where warmth is now spreading through me.

"Can I tell you about my ex-boyfriend, Bill? Then we'll be even with the crappy ex stories," she says softly.

Oh. Did she read my racing mind? I look up at her face. "Okay," I say, trying to keep my apprehension out of my voice.

She takes a deep breath. "I met Bill during my freshman year. He's from the South too and that initially brought us together. I missed home and his accent was familiar and comforting. He was such a gentleman, so kind and considerate. We started dating about halfway through the year. At first, things were so good between us. He never took things too far, he was patient with me. I was a..." She looks very uncomfortable. She was a what? Oh!

"I understand," I say, so she doesn't have to be embarrassed saying the actual word.

She looks relieved and smiles at me. "Right," she says, "So he was a perfect gentleman. The first year, things were good with us until summer vacation came. We made plans to see each other over the break but he always had some excuse to cancel our plans. I didn't think anything of it. God, I was stupid."

I want to contradict her and tell her she's in no way stupid but she doesn't give me the chance.

"So we got back to school the next year and things were ok. He's a Phi Delt, you know, a fraternity guy? Well, most of the frats are across the river in Boston so he didn't live on campus after freshman year. He seemed so happy to see me after the summer and I felt like we should take our relationship to the next level."

I wince and clench my hands, I can't help it. I don't like where this is going. I know this story will not end well and the thought of her giving her innocence to a creep like this has me seeing red.

She looks down at my fisted hand and puts her hand softly over mine as if it's me that needs the comfort. Well, maybe I do.

"Since he lived in the frat house, it took more effort to see each other. He got kinda weird, always wanting to know exactly when I'd be coming to see him. Like, it couldn't be vague at all, which looking back, was pretty suspicious. At the time, I didn't think so." She makes a derisive noise and the fact that it's directed towards herself makes me unbelievably angry at this Bill fucker.

I unclench my fist so that I can hold her hand properly. She gives me a grateful smile and I'm glad I can make her feel a little better.

"He started insisting that he call a cab for me to and from his house, saying it was safer for me, but now I know it was so he'd know exactly when I was coming and going."

Oh, the cabs. Now that makes sense. Shit. I wish I knew that.

"His frat is actually full of really nice guys and I guess some of them knew what he was up to because his roommate finally told me that Bill was cheating on me. He met some girl named Lorena that went to Northeastern and when that ended he was fucking everyone he could find. Like five people, Eric! Oh my God, I was such a fool."

She closes her eyes and lays her head back against the couch with a sigh. I can feel my heart beating wildly as a wave of adrenaline sweeps through my body. I want to fucking murder this guy. Who the hell would cheat on this beautiful person? I try to calm down so that I don't make this about me but holy shit, if I ever cross paths with this fuckhead, I will kill him. I look over at Sookie, whose head is still back.

Oh, shit, she's crying. Shit, what do I do? I'm so bad at this. I don't know what else to do so I do the only thing my instincts are telling me. I scoot close to Sookie and put my arms around her, pulling her into my chest. She stiffens for a second but then seems to relax against me. I want to smooth my hands over her hair and whisper to her but I don't. I just hold her, feeling her warm breath fan over my chest, until she makes a move to sit back up and I reluctantly let her go.

"Thanks," she mumbles with red rimmed eyes and wet cheeks. "I didn't think I'd still be crying over this."

I reach my hand out to wipe away her tears but she makes a noise and I put my hand down.

"He hurt you. It's okay to cry when someone hurts you. You deserve so much better, Sookie," I say softly. I know all about hurting at the hands of someone you should have been able to trust. I know this hurt much too well.

Sookie sits up and wipes her face, "I'm sorry for being a downer. Let's do something happy!"

She looks happy now but it takes me a while longer to switch gears. "Like what?" I say.

"Well, let's order something!" She looks mischievous and says, "Wine and ice cream?"

She's grinning at me and I can't help but smile back. I'm not so sure about drinking around Sookie but I want her to keep smiling so I say, "Sure! What kind?"

"You pick the wine, I'll pick the ice cream?"

"Red or white?" I ask.

"White."

I look at the wine menu and choose a Riesling and she chooses one chocolate sundae with bananas and one strawberry sundae with caramel sauce.

She goes to change into her pajamas while I order, and comes out in a flannel set that makes her look completely adorable and outrageously sexy all at once. How is that possible?

When the ice cream gets here she grabs them both and two spoons and tells me we're sharing both because she wants some of each. I open the wine and pour us each a glass.

We sit back on the couch and she flips through the HBO movies available. I think she wants my input on the movies but the only thing I can think of is the length of her thigh that's pressed against mine. She sat down very close to me and I can't concentrate on anything else. I finally will my body to relax as she says my name again.

"Earth to Eric," she says playfully, "Is this okay?"

I look up at the screen and see that she wants to watch Kick Ass, which is great because it's funny and action packed with no awkward love scenes. "That's great," I say. Seriously surprising, this girl.

The movie is halfway over and the ice cream is gone. She tried to stay quiet while she ate it but it must have been really good chocolate because every time she took a bite of that one, my pants got a little tighter. I really hope she didn't notice. She did ask if I was okay once because I kept shifting around but I don't think she knew why.

I go to pour my second glass of wine and find that the bottle is almost empty. Which means Sookie drank the rest. I look over at her but she seems fine. She must have drank three-quarters of the bottle and given her size, she has to have quite the buzz right now. Hmm, this might be interesting.

The only difference I notice is that she is laughing a whole lot and she sounds extremely Southern when she speaks. She's telling me some story about her brother, Jason, when he was in high school. She seems to have forgotten about the movie which is fine. I'd rather listen to her. She's laughing about something stupid Jason did and even though I can barely understand her between her laughter and her accent, I can't help but laugh with her. She is entirely captivating. Everything about her draws me in.

When she stops laughing she goes back to watching the movie so I do too. The movie is winding down when I feel her head fall against my arm. I look down and she's asleep. I don't know how long I sit there, just enjoying the feel of her but when I look up, the movie is over and the credits have rolled.

I reluctantly tap Sookie's should to wake her up. She sits up quickly and apologizes for falling asleep on me.

"It's okay," I say with a smile. It was definitely okay.

She yawns and stretches and I try not to stare at the enticing curve of her back as she reaches her arms up.

"Do you want to sleep with me," she says. My eyes find hers instantly. What?

She turns redder than I've ever seen her before. Can you die from a bad case of blush because if so, she's dangerously close to it.

"Oh! No! No, no, no! I meant do you want the other bed in there?" My eyes, which have been staring into hers, drop to her wringing hands. Did I look too eager at her perceived suggestion?

She continues, "It has to be more comfortable than the couch. And you're so big- tall! So I thought you might want to...it's fine, right? We can...? Eric, say something!"

I'm searching for something to say. All my nice words have left my brain at the moment. Finally I say, "Thank you. Yes, I think I would be more comfortable on a real bed." No matter how tortured I will feel sleeping across from her.

She's already dressed for bed so I go into the bathroom and put on a tank top and flannel pants. When I come back out she seems to be staring at my arms. Is a tank top bad form?

We walk into the bedroom together awkwardly but she surprises me by pulling me into a hug. Her arms go around my waist and her chest is pressed against me and I'm trying my best not to get hard but there is just such a nice soft place for my dick against her stomach. I can feel it beginning to stir so I end the hug because I don't want to freak her out. God, she felt good in my arms.

"Thanks for being a good listener," she says as she gets into her bed.

"Sure," I say, watching as she settles under her covers.

I say goodnight as I climb into bed and under my covers. I usually sleep with much less on, and with the tightly tucked sheets, I am not very comfortable but this will have to do with Sookie right across from me.

I lay in the quiet darkness, thinking over the day. It was really fun spending so much time with Sookie. I almost regret that we have to go home tomorrow. It was nice having her company even if it was agonizing at times. I like her a lot. Two more weeks is not enough for me. So, the question is, what am I going to do about it?

I can hear her breathing and her sheets rustling every time she moves and I want so badly to cross the distance between our beds. I want to climb into her bed and put my arms around her. Not even to have sex, although that would be nice. Well, more than nice, but right now I just want to put my face in her hair and breathe her in while I fall asleep. God, where the fuck are my balls? They must be over in her bed with her because they are definitely no longer attached to my body. I listen as her breath evens out and I fall asleep matching my breathing to the cadence of hers. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sookie told him about Bill and Eric would like to kill him! I haven't decided if their paths should cross yet. **

**Thank you for all the alerts on this story and most especially for all the reviews. I love to read what you think.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's chapter 8 for you wonderful readers. It starts with Eric's pov. This is the last day of their trip. It's Saturday morning.** xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ERIC

She crawls over to me on the bed, waking me. She's straddling my hips as she looks down into my face. What the...?

"Let's just do this, Eric," she says. "We both want each other. We are both adults. Why should we deny ourselves?"

She has a point. Why are we dancing around this? We both want to fuck each other.

I answer her by reaching up and pulling her down to my mouth. I lick her top lip and she opens for me. My tongue dives inside to duel with hers. With my hands on her waist, I pull her down to the bed and crawl on top of her. I kiss her again and trail my mouth across her jaw and down the soft skin of her neck, inhaling her scent as I go. I unbutton her shirt one torturous button at a time starting from the bottom. By the time I get to the last one she is panting and I'm close to it. I throw open her pajama shirt, at last revealing her gorgeous breasts.

Her tits are perfect. Big and round, with perfect pink nipples. I lean down and lick from one side of her breasts to the other, making sure my tongue runs over each nipple. She arches her back into me. She likes this. I concentrate on one nipple as I suck it into my mouth. I flick my tongue over it and reach down under her pajama pants. I love pajama pants because they are stretchy and I can fit my giant hands into them. I slide my hand over her panties and I can feel how wet she is underneath them. My chest rumbles with a growl of appreciation for just how fucking wet she is. I rub her clit over the soaked fabric and move on to her other nipple, paying it the same attention. Her hips are rocking, she wants more. I remove my hand from her pants and pull them off of her. I lean over her to kiss her again because I can't get enough of her lips. To show her how much I want her, I rub my dick over her hip and across her stomach.

"Sookie, I'm going to make you scream," I whisper into her ear. It's true. She whimpers in response. She wants me just as much as I want her.

She reaches up and yanks at my shirt and I help her by taking it off. "Take off your pants," she demands. I cock my eyebrow at her. "Please?" she implores.

"Please? You going to beg?" She just looks at me and blushes, which only makes her look more edible.

I move over her and lean down to her ear, nipping it as I ask, "Do you want my dick?" On the word dick, I rock my hips into her so that she cannot mistake _my_ wanting.

She is still silent, except for her heavy breathing, so I make a move to get off of her and say, "Well, I guess not." She stops me like I knew she would.

"No!" she says hurriedly. "I want it. I want you."

I grin at her. "I thought so," I say. "How do you want me?"

I don't think Sookie is very versed in dirty talking during sex. I will have to teach her. That won't be a problem.

I slowly slide her panties down her legs, kissing down one leg and back up the other. She is writhing underneath me and I've barely begun. I reluctantly lift my head away from her sweet center and look in her eyes.

"How about you suck me as I lick you. Have you ever done that before? A sixty-nine?" I doubt there is anything I haven't done but I think Sookie is considerably more innocent.

"Uh, no," she whispers. "But I'm game," she says with more confidence.

"Good girl," I say as I lay down, pulling off my pants. "Come sit on my face. Let me taste you."

She hesitantly straddles me reverse cowgirl and backs up until she's sitting on my chest. I can feel the heat coming off her center. I can't wait any longer to taste her so I grab her hips and pull her back to my waiting mouth. She gasps when my tongue comes into contact with her slick folds. She is so fucking wet.

"Mmm," I purr against her clit, making her moan. "You are very wet. Do you like this?"

She moans in answer and I continue to lick her in long slow strokes across her entire slit. Soon her hips start to buck and I have to hold her steady.

"Sookie, did you forget what you were supposed to be doing?" I'll admit I almost did. She tastes so fucking good I almost didn't notice that she is nowhere near my dick. I thrust my hips at her so she knows what I want. I angle her hips so that she can lay down along my torso and reach my dick.

"Suck me, Sookie. I want to feel those pretty red lips wrapped around my cock."

"Yes, sir," she says playfully. Sir? Holy shit, this girl. She's going to make me cum before she even touches me.

She slides her hand along my hip and wraps it around the base of my dick. She stretches forward but she can only reach halfway since I am keeping her firmly within reach of my mouth. She tries to stretch further but I pull her back.

"No! You're not going anywhere. Just suck what you can reach and stroke me with your hand. Ah, like that," I say when she does what I instruct.

Shit. Her hot tongue on my throbbing dick feels so fucking good. She's got me halfway down her throat, which is all she'd be able to take anyway. I'm too big for most women to deep throat.

"Fuck, Sookie! Keep going. That's good, lover."

Her mouth is occupied so she doesn't speak.

I've been talking too much and not licking enough. I get back to my task as I suck her clit into my mouth and flick my tongue over it. Her hips buck and she rubs herself all over my mouth. This is what I love about having a girl on my face. By the time she's done my face will be wet all over with her cum. The best fucking feeling in the world.

She's moaning around my dick and it feels amazing. If she keeps it up I'm going to cum so hard. By the way she's rocking her hips, I think she might be close to her finish, too. I open my mouth and capture her entire heated area between my lips, swirling my tongue around and around her clit and her lips. Her muffled moaning gets louder and more frantic. Good. I'm almost ready to cum and she can climax with me. Her hand that's pumping along my shaft speeds up and she twists her hand as she strokes which makes my balls tighten. Everything is so warm and wet and she smells so good and I'm so close. I remove my face from her clit for a second to warn her because I don't know if she swallows.

"Sookie...gonna cum," I pant.

She doesn't move away. She just moans and twirls her tongue along the ridge between my head and shaft.

Holy fucking christ that's good. I have that feeling low in my belly that means I'm about to explode. I start to thrust my hips, I can't help it. I don't want to gag her but I'm pretty much out of my mind with how good this feels. She's doing well anyway. She has her hand on me so she won't gag.

Her hips have become so frantic she's basically fucking herself on my eager tongue. Along with her hips her hand moves along my shaft with quickening strokes and the moaning she's doing is making the sweetest vibrations on my dick. I'm going to fucking explode any second.

I wrap my lips around her clit and hold her hips steady so I can suck on her. She gasps and cries out and I can feel her spasms on my lips. She moves her mouth off of me as she cums, and pumps her hand up and down the whole length of my dick. When her hand gets to the head, I shudder and cum so hard I see stars. She's still moaning with her orgasm so as the last of my spasms wrack my body, I lick everything that she just gave me as she came. She is fucking delicious and I can't get enough of her. I could lick her all day long and I would if she would let me.

"Eric," she says, still breathing hard. She starts to climb off but I hold her to my mouth and keep licking.

"Too much, Eric. Please...too much," she's panting and wriggling and I think maybe she'd cum again but I let go of her with one final sweep of my tongue along her folds.

"Sookie, you are amazing. That was amazing," I say as I pull her down to spoon with me. I'm the big spoon obviously. I'm still not totally recovered from that mind blowing orgasm and I'm taking in big gulps of air to calm myself.

She holds up her hand, which is covered in my cum, and asks, "And what do you want me to do with this?" Cheeky.

I grab the sheet and her hand and wipe her off. She seems to think that was a gross thing to do.

"I'm sure hotel cleaners are used to dirty sheets, Sookie," I say as I nuzzle my face into her neck. The feel of her naked ass against my dick is making me hard again and I rub myself over her. "How about we try to make them even dirtier?"

In answer, she reaches back and grabs my ass, pulling me against her. Fuck yes!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx SOOKIE

He's having a sex dream. Eric is having a sex dream and I'm in the room! Oh god! Do I leave? I should leave... I don't want to leave. I want to watch him.

I was woken by soft whimpering, which I thought was Annika. But a quick listen told me differently. I looked to the source of the noise and found Eric.

I'm looking at him now- sprawled on his stomach, shirtless, sheets twisted around him, hands fisted at his sides. A light sheen of sweat covers his body. He's making little noises every once in a while and his brow is furrowed as if he's concentrating. I really want to know what he's dreaming. I would love a peak inside his head.

He rolls to his back and the sheet smoothes out over him. Oh. My. God. Now I understand why it's called "pitching a tent." This tent could sleep six people! I don't even see how he could have been laying on top of this thing. Was this what was trapped in his pants? Ouch. I have the appalling thought that I wish I could go peak under the sheet. That would be really bad, right? I shouldn't do it. Given another few seconds, I might have done just that but Eric moves suddenly and I am not about to be caught staring when he wakes up.

I walk quickly to the living room and shut the bedroom door. Maybe I shouldn't have asked him to share the room with me. I was groggy when I asked and it came out all wrong. So embarrassingly wrong. I think my whole body blushed. I don't think I mistook the surprise and desire in his eyes, though. Definitely desire.

Annika is still asleep and I don't want to wake her up but it's too silent in here. I can still hear Eric's little noises and I do not want to hear the big finish if that happens. I remember washing Jason's sheets but he was a teenager and honestly, with his behavior, I can't even be sure it was all him on those dirty sheets. Does the same thing happen to grown men? I do not want to be there to find out!

I'm checking my phone to distract myself when I hear a sound like Eric is getting out of bed. He walks out a few minutes later wearing gym shorts and the same tank top that mysteriously disappeared from his body in the night. Damn does he look good in gym shorts.

He walks right to the bathroom without a word and comes out in a while with his hair combed and wet. "I'm going to the hotel gym," he says quickly before walking out the door in a hurry. I stare after him wondering what his problem is. Maybe he's embarrassed about having a dirty dream with me in the room. It's not like he can control what his sleeping mind does. He doesn't have to worry that I'll bring it up because that's never going to happen.

There is still about a half an hour until Annika should wake so I shower and dress. When she wakes up, I feed and dress her. Eric is still not back and it's been an hour. I wonder how long he usually works out for. Annika seems bored and crabby so we go to the hotel lobby in search of the gym.

We find Eric at the weight machine. He's doing that exercise where you pull the bar down behind your head. I don't know much about weight machines so I'm not sure what it's called. I do know that Eric's arms look ridiculously good right now. I think I can see every vein and every muscle of his glorious arms and shoulders. His body is glistening and as I'm standing here I have this vision of licking all the sweat from his body. Man, that's so gross but holy hell, I would do it to him in a heartbeat! He has sweat dripping down his neck, reminding me of when I saw the drop of water in that same spot. I wanted to lick him then too. Something about his neck just calls out to my tongue I guess. Really, his whole body is porn. If I had him on video I'd rewatch it all day long.

Annika and I are just standing in the doorway of the gym looking at him. Well, I'm staring at him. I don't think he notices us because he's still pulling that bar down and making his muscles flex so deliciously at me. He makes a little grunt and his stomach muscles tighten with every pull and it is intoxicating.

"Da da!" Annika says loudly to Eric, effectively breaking my lust filled stupor.

Eric's head shoots up as his eyes zero in on us. He breaks into a huge grin and jumps up, letting the bar fly up and the weight stack clang together with a startling crash. He crosses the room to us with long quick strides and throws his arms around both me and Annika. What the heck is happening?

"That's the first time she called me Dada!" He says with so much excitement in his voice that I can't help but laugh. He takes Annika from me and swings her around. They are both laughing like loons.

I smile at them, enjoying their happy moment. But what I'm thinking about is the sweat that is now on my arm and face from Eric's body as he hugged me. Nasty, right? Except my thoughts are running more to fantasies of him sweaty and on top of me, grunting like he was at the weight machine. God, what is wrong with me?

Eric stops spinning Annika around and looks at me, still smiling. "What are you doing here?" he asks.

"Annika was bored?" I say it more like a question and he just chuckles at me.

"Oh, really?" he says like he doesn't believe me, "Well, I'm done so I'll come back up with you."

We step into the elevator and instead of him smelling bad because he's been sweating for the last hour, his scent that surrounds me in the small space, makes my knees weak. He smells divine. Like some heavenly combination of soap and musk and sex and I think again how I want to run my tongue over his entire body. My eyes are closed when he says my name in his deep voice.

"Mmm?" I say, eyes still closed. Can you get drunk on the scent of someone?

"We're at our floor," he says with amusement in his voice.

I open my eyes and he is standing literally six inches from me. Well inside my personal bubble. I would back up if I wasn't already at the wall.

"You're so sweaty," I say without thinking. I say it the way a normal person would profess their love for someone- like a dreamy sigh.

"I am," he says in his silky baritone, his eyes twinkling.

I'm inching ever closer to his gleaming chest, which is at my eye level. Just a I register, with some shock, what I am doing, Annika starts screeching and I pull back, alarmed at my lack of control. Man, I have problems. Mustn't lick the boss! Do I really have to tell myself that? Apparently so. I walk quickly out of the elevator and my head clears along with his strong scent.

As soon as we are back in our room, he hands Annika to me with a grin and goes to take a shower.

Our flight leaves at one o'clock, and we need to eat breakfast and pack. I start on the packing as he's washing off all that delicious sweat from his body. Okay, imagining him in the shower is not the way to go if I want to be productive. In an effort to restrain myself from joining him in the bathroom, I think about how nice last night was with Eric. Heck, the whole day with him was completely awesome. I haven't had a better day in a long time.

The wave of fury coming from him when I told him about cheating asshole was unexpected but comforting. He was a really good listener and I'm thankful for that. Every time I tell that story, I feel a little better.

I just wish Eric would trust me enough to tell me his stories. There have to be some more. His family has never met his daughter- there is some reason for that. I know I've only known Eric for a week but it feels like much longer than that. I can't explain the connection between us. Besides the fact that every time he is within ten feet of me, I want to jump him. But there is something beyond the physical connecting us and I want to be there for him. There is a sadness in his eyes sometimes that breaks my heart and I saw that hurt when he talked about his family.

Eric comes walking out of the bathroom in his towel and even though this is the third time I've seen him this way, it doesn't fail to effect me. He is just so lovely. So tall and lithe, all that defined muscle without bulk. He has the perfect body. And his face, so utterly masculine yet so sublimely beautiful he can render me stupid with only a smile.

He comes out of the bedroom dressed in black jeans and a dark gray t- shirt with black boots. He is always so sexy. Each time he puts on a different outfit, I like it better than the last. Geez, I think I'm becoming obsessed with him. Shoot, it hits me as I watch him walk across the room to his baby, that I only have two more weeks to work for him. What am I going to do after that? How can I go back to my boring student life without him and Annika?

He turns around to look at me. "So, what do you want to do for breakfast? Is...something wrong?" he says, his eyes immediately concerned. I guess my face must betray my melancholy at the prospect of going our separate ways soon.

"Oh! No, nothing!" I say trying to sound happy. "How about we go to Upstairs again? It was good last time."

"Sure," he says picking up Annika.

"Maybe this time, you'll stay until I finish eating," I say in a teasing tone.

He turns pink and starts sputtering at me and I wink. He closes his mouth. Maybe I can understand why he said what he said to me. His blush is adorable and alluring and I wouldn't mind seeing it again.

Breakfast is going well. I think Eric is a secret Olympian with the way he's carbo loading. He is a huge eater but he has a huge body to maintain. And maintain it he does...

"You must have eaten your parents out of house and home!" I say laughing. Ah, crap. Every time I say something that makes him look like this, I want to kick myself. He smiles at me but his face is not happy. I reach for his hand.

"I'm a good listener, Eric," I say quietly.

"Hmm," is his soft reply. His only reply because he pulls his hand back and resumes eating, making it clear that he will not be sharing right now.

Despite a brief silent period when Eric seems to be deep in thought, the rest of breakfast is easy and friendly without any awkwardness. When we get back to the room we both pack our things. We will be leaving for the airport in half an hour for our flight home.

The cab to the airport is silent. There is not even Annika making noise because she is asleep on Eric's chest. I don't know what he's thinking about but I'm thinking about how perfect this trip was and how much I'm going to miss hanging out with these two people all day.

After an uneventful flight home, we are standing in baggage claim at Logan Airport. Eric has been virtually silent since the plane landed and I'm a little worried that with the trip over, so is our newfound friendship.

He turns to me suddenly. "Have lunch with me?" he says with a hopeful smile on his face.

He's so cute that despite how tired I feel, I say yes.

His resulting smile is dazzling. Definitely his tv smile and it leaves me breathless. Maybe Eric is having as hard of a time as I am letting go of this trip.

We eat lunch at Legal Sea Foods since there is one in the airport. Since Eric told me that I make sex sounds while I'm eating, I have tried to be really quiet when I eat. Talk about mortifying! I was so embarrassed when he told me that. But he really did sound adorable humming through his pizza breakfast.

Lunch is over far too quickly and it's time to part ways. After an awkward half hug I get into my cab and Eric and Annika get into theirs. I can't help the feeling of longing that settles over me as my cab pulls away. As I approach my dorm I start to feel silly for how sad I feel. I've been without Eric Northman for my entire life before last week! And I'll see him Monday. I tell myself to snap out of it as I get out my luggage and trudge up to my suite. Traveling tires me out so I climb into bed and fall quickly to sleep.

Amelia pounding on my door wakes me a couple hours later. "Sookie! I know you're in there!" she yells through the door. "Open up! Tell me about your trip! Did you fu-"

I yank the door open before she can say anymore. "Hello, Amelia," I say.

"Well? How was it? Any hanky panky with the boss?" she asks, waggling her eyebrows comically. "Yes! You're blushing! What happened? You have to spill!"

I drag her into my room and shut the door. My other suite mate, Crystal can be such a gossip and I don't want her to hear what I have to say.

"There isn't a whole lot to tell. The trip was really fun. Eric was great, Annika was a doll the whole time, and even his secretary Pam seems to like me now."

"Bitch voice likes you now?" When I told Amelia how rude Pam was to me on the phone, she gave her this nickname.

"I guess she does!"

"Okay, okay, get to the good stuff," says Amelia practically bouncing on my bed. I don't know why she's salivating over my sex life. She doesn't even like dick all that much.

"Well, I sort of kissed him and had a small grope before he stopped me and we decided we should just be friends." I said this quickly and without a breath but Amelia still caught every word.

"You kissed him?! How small of a grope? Did you feel his dick? Was it huge because you said he's really tall."

"Whoa! That's a lot of questions!" I say. "Yes, I kissed him. His lips are magic. It was so so good! And yes, I felt him up- briefly! And...yes, he's proportional."

Amelia squeals and I blush and tell her that is all the detail she is getting. After trying to pry some more out of me she finally gives up and leaves me to unpack. She invites me to go clubbing but I tell her I'm too tired and will take a raincheck for next weekend. After unpacking, I do some laundry and watch some tv and then I go to bed early.

Sunday is turning out to be really boring. I have no tiny person to look after, no big person to ogle, I mean talk to. Amelia is out with Tracy and even though I usually hang out with them, today I don't feel like being a third wheel.

I'm trying to figure out what to do when I have an idea. Eric seemed to really like the food I left for him so I decide I will do one better and actually cook and eat dinner with him. Not as a date. But friends eat dinner together. Heck, I ate dinner with him in New York and it was a lot of fun.

I set out to the grocery store with a list of ingredients for boeuf bourguignon, which is just fancy beef stew. But it's hearty enough for Eric and sophisticated enough to be impressive, not to mention really freakin' good. I pick up all the things I'll need for the stew, adding an extra bottle of wine and some crusty bread to go along with it.

I'm putting the groceries in my suite fridge when Amelia comes back from lunch.

"Hey, Sook, whatcha doin'?" she says, eyeing the food I'm putting away. "What are you going to cook for me," she says smiling.

"Nothing for you," I say. "I'm going to make dinner for Eric tomorrow." I can't help my grin when I say his name.

"Really Sookie?" says Amelia. "You've got it bad!"

"I do not!" I protest.

"You do. You sure you know what you're doing? You want to get involved with a man who has a kid? Not to mention the fact that you work for him!"

"I don't plan on putting the moves on him, Amelia." Not that I even know what the moves would be. "I'm just making him dinner. I make you dinner all the time."

"Yeah but you don't want to jump in the sack with me, Sook. I hear the way you talk about him. The way you say his name." She closes her eyes and says in a high pitched breathy moan, drawing out the syllables, "Eric."

"Shut up! I do not!"

"Sure, whatever you wanna believe," she says smirking.

"And I happen to like his daughter. She's adorable and she's happy all the time."

"You want to be her stepmom don't you?" she accuses with a laugh.

"Amelia! It's just dinner."

"Uh huh," she says on the way to her room. Just before she closes her door, she says, "Sookie, that must have been a perfect trip because you've been floating on cloud nine since you got back."

It _is_ just dinner. With my incredibly attractive boss who I want to jump. Amelia was right about that. But I really don't plan for anything to happen. For the next two weeks he's my boss. Who knows what will happen after that.

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**A/N: Sooo, lemons, finally. Although this lemonade was made with sugar substitute. You didn't think Sookie would give it up that soon did you! ;) Just FYI- since this was a dream, who knows how Eric normally acts during sex. Maybe he's super shy and likes to be dominated, lol.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review and let me know. Thanks! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Here is the next chapter. It starts with Eric's pov on Saturday morning. It's not as long as my usual chapters but I figure I can update more often with shorter chapters. Thanks for reading!**

ERIC xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Holy fucking shit. What the fuck is my mind trying to do to me? I wake up from a fantastically realistic dream about Sookie with the most painful hard-on I have ever had. I have nowhere to go to get some relief though honestly I'm not sure I could even touch this thing without it hurting. This trip with Sookie has been torture for my junk and right now, I'm thanking god that she is not in her bed. I try to will myself soft because I can't walk around like this and it fucking hurts. When that doesn't work, I try to imagine the nastiest things possible to get rid of my erection. It works somewhat. It's no longer painful but I am not soft. It'll have to do.

I throw on my gym shorts and my tank top because I need some sort of workout to release my frustration. I stripped my shirt off in the middle of the night when I got hot so I find it on the floor. I walk out of the bedroom and straight to the bathroom to piss, brush my teeth and comb my hair. As soon as I see Sookie, heat floods my face and I leave quickly to avoid her. Shit. Pull it together, Northman! If she knew what I just dreamed about her, she would probably kick me out of here.

I get down to the gym and decide to run on the treadmill. I run for 45 minutes because that's how long it takes me to stop replaying my dream in my head. I run hard, chasing my thoughts of Sookie away, and by the time I step off the treadmill, my legs are jelly. I use the weight machine to rest my legs and work on my arms.

I sit at the weight machine, zoned out on my rhythm of pulling the bar down and letting it go slowly back up. Suddenly I hear my baby say "Dada." Huh? My head whips around to the origin of the sound and I see Sookie standing there with Annika, who is looking right at me. I jump up and run to them, hugging them because my baby knows I'm her daddy! I never thought that would make me so excited but it does. I'm deliriously happy and I spin Annika around like a fool.

When I come down from that high, I wonder what they are doing here and I ask. Sookie says Annika was bored but the way she says it doesn't have me convinced. We walk to the elevator and Sookie sighs and leans her head back against the wall, closing her eyes. Maybe she's tired? She is so beautiful and before I know it, I am standing right in front of her. I realize the elevator stopped at our floor and neither one of us has made a move to walk out of it. I say her name and she does nothing. Her eyes are still closed and she's breathing in and out deeply. I realize that if she doesn't open her eyes and move right now, I am going to kiss her. I tell her we're at our floor loudly and she finally opens her eyes. I register her shock at my proximity but then she sighs and tells me how sweaty I am. If she had said it in another way, I might have worried that I was offensive but the dreamy way she says it makes it clear that she likes it. She is leaning slowly towards me and her heavy breathing hasn't changed. She's breathing me in and she just keeps getting closer to me. I'm frozen. I don't know what to do. What does she want? Will she touch me?

Suddenly, Annika starts screeching like a banshee and I don't know whether to be grateful for the interruption or not. Had Sookie touched me, I would have mauled her in the elevator, consequences be damned. My dream has left me primed and ready and her slightest touch will set me off. She deserves better then that, though. I need a shower. I need to calm down. How does she effect me so much?

Once I'm in the shower, I'm not sure if I should take care of myself or not. If I didn't have to share the bathroom with Sookie, I wouldn't give it a second thought. Ultimately the fact that she's already dressed and we are leaving today makes my decision. I squirt some shampoo into my palm and use it to help me stroke my aching erection. If I have to do this alone, I can at least make it good. I lean against the shower wall under the nozzle, with my head on my forearm, letting the water run down my back. With each stroke I think of Sookie and all the ways I want to be with her. I think of her bouncy hair that I want to run my hands through, her mouth with those beautiful lips that I want to whisper against, her full round breasts that I want to lave with my tongue until she can't take anymore and she's writhing underneath me. I imagine her naked before me, spread out on my bed like a buffet, with me above her, licking and sucking and nibbling every inch of her delicious body. I find my release in the image of Sookie's thighs, wrapped around my face as in my dream. I'm panting as I straighten up and wash myself off the shower wall. The rest of my shower is quick and I walk out in my towel like I have for the past three days. I know she likes it. And I like her looking at me.

After I get dressed, I ask her where she wants to go for breakfast and she suggests Upstairs again, which is fine with me. She teases me by saying that maybe I'll stay until she finishes this time. I can feel my face growing warm so I know I must be blushing and I can't think of anything to say. It's not like me to be tongue tied around a girl. I always thought I was so smooth but Sookie makes me feel like a horny teenager and a love sick puppy all at once and I end up looking like a fool around her way too often.

Breakfast is just as good as it was before and I eat a lot. I think breakfast is my favorite meal and I can tell Sookie is amused by my appetite. Then she says something about my parents and it sends me into a tailspin. I've been thinking about my family a lot lately and even though she takes my hand and urges me to talk to her, I just can't. I know talking helps but sometimes not thinking about it is easier. I decide today will not be the day for sharing. I already practically cried to her about Sophie and I know that I can't have this conversation in a crowded restaurant. Besides, I don't like her thinking I'm weak and that I can't handle my own problems. Because I can.

After breakfast, we go down and pack to head to the airport. Annika is asleep on my chest in the cab so I don't talk to Sookie while we drive. Truthfully, I don't know what I'd say to her. I'm so pathetic to feel this sad because our trip is over. If I could, I'd just stay in our little bubble at the Kimberley Hotel. I'm not ready to face my empty house and my even emptier life.

Once we are settled onto the airplane, I can't help but stare at her. Since we had to reschedule this flight, we don't have a separate seat for Annika and Sookie offers to hold her. She's still sleeping and her head is on Sookie's breasts and I'm fucking jealous of my baby.

"Do you want me to take her?" I ask.

She smiles at me and says, "Not at all. These are the moments we live for, right? A sweet sleeping angel on my chest. I'm happy to hold her until she wakes up."

I don't know why my heart flutters at her words. Watching her cradle the light of my life, while she gently strokes her little head, makes an ache grow in my chest. It's an ache I haven't felt in a long long time and it is fucking terrifying. She must see it in my face because she asks me what's wrong. I just shake my head, not trusting myself to speak. Nothing is wrong. Something is so right for the first time in a long time. And that just means that there is something good for me to fuck up.

The plane lands and I don't think I've said a single word more to Sookie. Annika is awake and on my lap and I hand her to Sookie so I can get our carry-ons. I need to snap out of my funk because surely Sookie will notice if I go mute on her for much longer.

While we wait in baggage claim a million thoughts are swirling through my mind. Before I even really register the last thought in my brain, I'm asking Sookie to have lunch with me. I don't want to let her go. I don't want her to go back to her life. I selfishly want her in mine. I want to drag her into my world so that she abandons everything in hers and will be only mine. _Mine_, I want to yell at her. _Don't go! You are mine!_

"Yes," she says and for a second I don't know what she's agreeing to and my heart leaps in my chest as my mouth curves into a huge smile.

"Where to?" she says, and I realize that she's talking about having lunch with me. I turn to look around the airport and avoid her gaze as I get my racing heart under control.

"Legal Sea Foods is in the airport. Is that good?" I say when I've recovered my composure.

"Perfect," she says.

We eat tons of seafood, well I eat tons, and Sookie still stays relatively quiet while she eats. I feel like telling her to ignore my earlier words and start her moaning again. Even though it made my dick painfully hard, it was worth it to hear those sexy noises coming out of her mouth.

"She's eye fucking you. Do you see her?" she says as I'm signing my name on the receipt. I look up at her.

"What?" I ask. "Who is?" I haven't noticed anybody.

"The waitress. I'm sitting right here and she's eye fucking you. How does she know I'm not with you? That's so rude!"

I smile at the fire in her voice and look over at the waitress who is indeed staring at me. I look back at Sookie and smile wider because of the comically angry look on her face. Is she jealous?

"Come on," I say as I stand up. "Are you ready to go?" I put my arm around her shoulder after she picks up Annika and lean in _very_ close to her as I kiss Anni's cheek. I can smell Sookie's shampoo and feel her breath on my cheek. I pull back and I can tell by the look on her face that Sookie has no idea what I'm doing. I wink at her and cut my eyes to the waitress and back to Sookie. I see understanding register on her face and she beams a bright smile at me while we walk out of the restaurant.

Once outside, I drop my arm and immediately feel the loss of her warmth. She felt good tucked into my side but I have no more excuse to hold her now that the offending waitress is out of sight.

We walk to a cab stand and I help her get her luggage into her cab. I'm not sure how to say goodbye to her so I put my unoccupied arm around her and lean in to hug her briefly. She smells so fucking good and I don't want to let go.

"See you Monday," I say as she climbs in. Monday can't come soon enough.

Monday is slow coming after a Sunday that seemed to drag on and on. I wake up before my alarm, as usual, and at first I don't know why I feel so giddy. I'm ridiculously happy for some reason. Then it dawns on me that I am this happy because Sookie will be here in less than two hours. Shit. That's so pathetic. I need to get myself under control before I get too attached to her. At least I didn't wake up with another fucking hard-on.

I get into the shower and let the hot water cascade down my neck and back while I do my best to relax. Thinking about Sookie being here soon is making me fucking hyper or something. I need the energy release of a workout and I decide I will use the gym at work when I get in. When I get out of the shower I put on track pants and a long sleeve t-shirt so I can get right in the gym when I leave home. I'm sure I will be even more worked up after I see Sookie.

I was right. As soon as Sookie rings the doorbell, my heart races and I feel like I'm fucking vibrating. What the fuck? I am so sick of feeling out of control around her. I should just hire another nanny and let her go. Then I wouldn't have to think about her ever again. Thinking about her has become an annoyance that I don't need in my life.

I open the door to her and as I look at her beautiful smile, I wonder what the fuck is wrong with me that I would consider sending her away.

"Hi, Sookie," I say. I step back to let her in and she brushes past me with a thank you.

"What do you have there?" I ask. It's groceries, I'm not stupid but I still ask.

"I'm going to make you dinner tonight," she says with a nervous smile on her pretty face.

My face falls. I have to work late tonight. Shit!

"I'm sorry. That was really presumptuous of me. Of course you don't want to eat dinner with me. I'm so sorry for just assuming you would want-"

I cut off her rambling by putting my hand under her chin so she will look at me. She stops talking abruptly and looks up to my face. I'm looking into her eyes and my fingers are touching her soft skin and I forget what the fuck I wanted to say to her in the first place.

"Eric?" she says breathlessly, bringing me back to reality.

"Oh!" I say and drop my hand from her face, taking a couple steps back. "I do want to have dinner with you. I would love for you to make dinner for me. But I have to work late tonight. I won't be home until close to eight o'clock."

"Oh," she says, letting out a breath, "That's okay. I'll just wait for you. I have to be here anyway, right? I can't abandon Annika so I'll just be here anyway. Right, I already said that." She trails off at the end and her last sentence is barely audible.

We stand silently for a couple seconds before she looks down at my clothes.

"Going to work out?" she says and then immediately blushes. Hmm, okay.

"Yes. At work," I say, gathering my briefcase and garment bag to put by the door. I'll be leaving as soon as Annika wakes up. Shit, maybe I'll wake her up so I can get out of here sooner.

Just as I'm thinking that, I hear her talking to herself in her crib. "I'll get her!" I say, already halfway up the stairs. She calls me Dada when she sees me and it makes my heart surge just like every time she says it. I walk down the stairs and kiss her forehead before passing her to Sookie.

"Bye, princess," I say as I put my coat on. I'm out the door less than a minute later.

I run hard at the gym for 30 minutes, stopping only because I have to get some work done. I shower quickly and put on my suit before I've even stopped sweating from my workout. Next time I'm taking a cold shower. I hate sweating into a suit.

"Hi Pam," I say as I pass her on the way to my office. She follows me in.

"Eric. How was the rest of the trip? I'm so glad I got out Thursday night before the storm. How was Friday's meeting?

"The trip was fine. Meeting was boring as usual but we got a lot accomplished. Things look good. And, yeah, lucky you with the Thursday flight!" I answer.

"How did everything go with Sookie? Was she upset that she had to stay an extra day? I'm sure you made it up to her."

"What? What are you talking about?" Shit! What does she know? Oh fuck, why am I panicking?

"Relax, Eric. I just meant I'm sure you paid her well...You fucked her, didn't you? I knew you wouldn't be able to keep it in your pants as soon as I saw her."

"Pam! I didn't! Come on!"

"You didn't? Well, something happened because your face is a fucking tomato!"

"Shit, Pam. Give it a rest," I sigh. "I don't need this shit." I sit down at my desk with my head in my hands.

Pam is silent for a few moments before she sits down in front of me and says with a gentle voice, "I'm sorry, Eric. I can tell you like her. And I actually like her too. What's the matter?"

"She's leaving, Pam! She was only here for a month and now there are two weeks left." I can't believe I'm telling Pam this. I'm sure she doesn't want to hear my blubbering about some girl I've known for less than two weeks.

"You really like her, don't you?" she asks, trying to catch my gaze.

I shut my eyes tight and sigh. "I guess. Yes. I don't know. It's hard you know? It's a fucking complicated situation."

"Why is it complicated? Eric, you haven't been like this over a woman in a long time. If you have feelings for her, you owe it to yourself to pursue that."

Do I? Can I? I run my hand through my hair and sigh again.

"Stop the fucking sighing, Eric. I can't take it. I'm liable to go behind there and hug you. You don't want me to look like I care do you?" She's grinning at me and it does make me feel better.

I smile at her, "You know I like you better when you're cold and heartless, Pam," I tease. "Thank you," I add sincerely because I really do appreciate her friendship and I am glad that she knows how much to push and when to back off. I'm not good with feelings and shit.

"Now get the fuck out of here so I can change my shirt. I'm fucking sweating like Elvis on the toilet!"

"Jesus, Eric!" she says as she gets up, "That's a mental image I don't need!"

After my morning meeting I come back to my desk and pull up the video feed from my house for no other reason than to watch Sookie. It's creepy right? Am I a stalker? I just can't get her out of my head. I can hardly concentrate on anything else. I decide I'll just take a quick peak and see what they're doing right now, then close the window.

I see them on the floor playing together and then Sookie picks up Annika and heads upstairs. Knowing what time it is, I know she's going to put her down for a nap and I know how she will do it. I wonder if it'll effect me the same way. As I watch with rapt attention, I can tell it _is_ effecting me the same way. I have the glorious view of her swaying hips from behind and I don't realize just how effected I am until I catch myself absently stroking my erection through my pants. I sit up straight and shut down the window with the camera feed because what the fuck am I doing? I'm about to fucking shoot my load at my desk? Goddamn! Pull it to-fucking-gether!

I have my head in my hands when I hear Pam come in.

"Hey Eric," she says, coming around to put her hand on my shoulder, "You want to talk about it? Something is bothering you."

"No! Why does everyone want me to spill my fucking guts? I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about anything!"

I push my chair back quickly, causing Pam to step back. I grab my coat, I just need some time to think. Alone.

"I'll be gone for an hour. Forward my calls to my cell."

I can tell Pam wants to say something. She's looking at me with so much concern on her face and it just makes me angrier. I'm not some fucking child who needs her concern. I can handle my life by myself.

"Well?" I snap, "Are you going to do what I said?" I need her to stop looking at me right fucking now.

"Yes, sir," she says coldly and I know she is angry with me for treating her like shit. She never calls me sir.

I don't fucking care right now. I will have to mend fences with Pam later. Right now, I'm going to lose it if I don't get out of here. Sookie has completely turned my life upside down and as much as I like her, I hate this feeling of free fall that always comes with thoughts of her. I can't fucking handle this. Is she worth this mind fuck?

Before I know it, I'm standing at the waterfront looking out at the harbor. Did I fucking walk this far? I take a few deep breaths of frigid salt air and am instantly transported back to my childhood home. I suddenly find myself gulping in air in an effort not to cry. I miss my little brother. I fucking miss him and he could be dead for all I know. The force of this sudden wave of sadness nearly brings me to my knees and I grip the railing I'm standing next to in an effort to steady myself. I couldn't save him, I couldn't do enough and he might have died, alone on the street like any other junkie.

For the third, fourth, or hell, hundredth time today I tell myself to pull it together. I walk back slowly to my office, stopping to buy lunch for Pam and myself on the way.

"Spinach salad peace offering?" I say sheepishly to her as I put her lunch down on her desk. I know this is her favorite meal from her favorite place.

She smiles at me from her seat. "Thanks, Eric," she says, "Though I would have preferred Jimmy Choo." I grin at her, thankful for her forgiveness.

How I make it through the rest of my day, I don't even know. I just know that I am looking forward to having dinner with Sookie. I have that giddy feeling again and my insides are churning as I drive home. I hope I can eat what she made because I'm sure it will be fucking fantastic. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx **A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next chapter will be their dinner together in Sookie's pov and I promise it will be happier. Eric is in turmoil but there will be an HEA for them, so I hope you will stick around for that. Thank you to everyone reading this story and putting alerts on it and me. Thank you to all the reviewers. I think I got to thank you all but if I missed you, I'm sorry. **

**I wanted to clear up any confusion about where they live or where Sookie goes to school and what she'll do after January. They live in Boston and Cambridge, which are two cities separated by the Charles River. It's not a wide river so they are close enough to each other that distance isn't a concern but since they are large cities, they could potentially live there and never see each other again if they don't want to.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Here's ch 10, folks. It starts with Sookie's pov on Monday morning.**

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SOOKIE

I am awake well before my alarm this morning for some reason. Being a college student, I get as much sleep as possible, which usually includes pressing the snooze button at least three times before I finally get up. This morning, it's almost twenty minutes before my alarm is due to ring and I can't get back to sleep. I finally just give up and sit up in my bed. What's my problem? The only times I usually can't sleep are when I have something on my mind. So what's on my mind bright and freakin' early this Monday morning? Eric.

Eric. This man who seems to have captured my every waking thought and most of my sleeping ones, too. This beautiful person who is sweet and kind but sometimes scary as hell. Eric, who seems to carry the weight of the world on his broad shoulders. Who laughs and flirts, but who will not share what's on his troubled mind. Who in some ways is so playful and boyish and in other ways is a truly glorious specimen of man.

What is it about him that draws me so forcefully to him? It's actually scary how much I like him. I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit that I'm falling for him. Certain things that he does make me think he may feel the same way about me. He certainly takes every opportunity to get close to me and show off his body, knowing what it does to me. But he said he wants to just be friends and maintain a professional relationship. I don't know what to do. He's going to have to give me a very clear sign if he wants to take things further.

There, I just used up all my extra time on Eric. Oh well, I think he's worth it. I get up reluctantly and head to the bathroom for a shower. This being a school break, nobody else is up and the bathroom is empty and freezing. I shower quickly and dry my hair. I have about ten minutes before I need to get going so I quickly gather up all the ingredients to make dinner for Eric. I can't help but fantasize about a romantic meal for two with candles and soft music but I know Annika will be there and it will be far from romantic. A girl can dream though, can't she?

Pretty soon, I'm knocking on Eric's door, wondering in what state of undress he will meet me today. Well, he's dressed...in slick track pants that show off his package in a really great way. Goodness, what is wrong with me that I can find something sexually exciting about everything he wears. But really, is he wearing underwear? Because I think I see something swinging around in there.

I breeze past him with my grocery bags and even though they are clearly holding groceries, he still asks what's inside.

When I tell him I plan on making dinner for him, he frowns. He frowns! Oh shit. Oh, stupid stupid Sookie! I'm rambling something about assuming things and all of a sudden his hand is on my face, lifting my chin to meet his eyes and I can't for the life of me remember even my name. I do remember his name, though, and I whisper it to him. Maybe he forgot his own name like I did because he's staring at me, not speaking.

Then he looks shocked and drops his hand, backing away. _No, no, come back,_ I want to say. _Touch me again!_ But he tells me that he has to work late. He wasn't frowning because he doesn't want to have dinner with me, he was frowning because he wasn't sure I'd wait for him! I feel like running through his condo singing but instead I ramble out another incoherent sentence or three. Why does he want to spend time with me? Surely, he is sick of me already.

So, here we are, just staring at each other. It's not awkward at all. I don't know what to do so I look down, which is a mistake because there's his gracious package for my greedy perusal. To cover my lusting eyes, I ask him if he's planning to work out, which really is a dumb thing to ask someone in work out clothes. My face feels like I stuck it in the oven. I hope he doesn't notice.

He seems really eager to get his daughter. He's bounding up the steps and she just barely started talking to herself. He told me he usually waits a while to go get her. I hope he's not running from me. Things did get pretty awkward this morning. When he comes quickly down the stairs and hands me Annika, without a word to me, I worry that he's in a rush to leave because of me.

As soon as he closes the door, I take a giant breath.

"I can't figure him out," I say to Annika in a fake happy lilt, "Your daddy is a mystery to me." Her smile melts me. I will miss being with her all day when I go back to school.

I'm in the kitchen, making Annika's bottle when it hits me that if he works until eight, Annika will be asleep for our dinner. Maybe it _will_ be a romantic meal! Oh my god! That thought terrifies me! I know I was fantasizing about that but now that it could be reality, I'm freaking out.

As soon as I put Annika down for her first nap, I go in the kitchen to make my lunch. I brought salad and stuff to make sandwiches so it doesn't take long. I take my food to the table and decide to call Amelia while I eat. Maybe she can talk me down. She answers on the fourth ring. I was just about to hang up.

"Were you sleeping, Amelia?" I ask. I didn't mean to disturb her.

"No, not sleeping. It's okay, I can talk," she answers. She sounds out of breath and I hear a giggle in the background and I'm suddenly sure that I disturbed Amelia and her girlfriend.

"Shoot, Ames, were you having sex? I'm so sorry. I can call you back!"

She laughs, "Nope. I just got her off, it's fine. She'll just owe me for later," she says laughing and I hear Tracy say something in the background.

"Are you sure? I'm really sorry..."

"No, it's okay. What's up? How's boy toy?"

"Ugh, don't call him that. Besides, he's hardly a boy. Oh my god, Amelia, you should see him in gym clothes!"

"I know that's not why you called...to talk about his dick. What's the matter? Did your dinner plans change?"

"No, well, yes. They got better. He won't be home until eight so his daughter will be in bed and I'm sort of freaking out! What if something happens? What if something doesn't happen? I don't know which would be worse!"

"Sookie, relax. Just have fun, see where the night takes you. Let him make the first move if you're so nervous. He wants you right? You wouldn't be doing all this if you didn't know he wants you..."

"That's just it, Amelia. He's so hot and cold! I think he wants me, but like this morning, he practically ran out of here without even saying goodbye to me."

"Ohh, well maybe he's nervous too? What happened before that?"

"I told him I wanted to make him dinner and he said he had to work late."

"Did he seem like he wanted to have dinner with you?"

"Yes. He did, actually. He seemed really happy about it."

"Well, then, there you go. He must just be nervous, like you. Cut him some slack, I'm sure with a little baby, he hasn't dated much since his bitchy girlfriend left." I had told Amelia about Eric's ex and how hurt he seemed over her.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"In fact, Sookie, I wouldn't be surprised if he's gun shy after she treated him like that. Give him a break. He may need to go really slowly. Can you imagine? Three years and she dumps a baby in his lap and takes off? Shit. It's a wonder he can even talk to girls."

"You're right. It just feels like one step forward two steps back with him. I may burst before the step that gets us in bed together."

"Yeah, but Sookie, do you just want to fuck him or do you want something more? The steps to something more take a lot longer. Especially when people have painful pasts."

The way she says this last sentence makes it clear she's talking about me too. My past relationships have been pretty crappy but I've talked enough about it to have mostly healed. Eric is still in the middle of his pain but he doesn't want to let anyone help him swim to shore.

"Amelia, you sure you don't want to switch your major to psychology?" I say laughing. She really does make me feel better.

"Nope! Biochemistry is where it's at baby! Knowing all about the chemicals that make certain reactions in the human body. Oh, it's so sexy, it gives me a lady boner. I can't wait to graduate and get started altering people!" she says and then laughs maniacally. This is her joke. That she's going to learn how to use chemicals to change people and make strange things happen. Crazy girl!

"Well, thanks for the advice, Ames. I have to go. I haven't eaten a single bite of my lunch and the munchkin will be up soon." We say our goodbyes and hang up.

Once I put Annika down for her second nap, I start on dinner prep. I want to get everything cut up so it's ready to sear later. Then I just have to put everything in the pot and cook it in the oven for a really long time. By the time Eric gets home, his house should smell heavenly.

And it does. The stew is in the oven when he gets home and from upstairs with Annika, I can hear him groan when he closes the front door. I try not to imagine a scenario where he would make that sound for another reason. I can hear him coming quietly up the stairs and when he peaks into Annika's room and sees me giving Annika her last bottle, he has a big smile on his face. Annika's little eyes are drooping as she drinks but when she looks around and sees him standing there, they pop open and she turns her head towards him and smiles. He talks softly to her and tells her to keep eating and that he'll be right back to put her to bed.

I wonder what he's doing but then he comes back in a few minutes dressed casually in jeans and a long sleeved white henley. Annika has finished her bottle so I stand up with her and he takes her from me. He shifts her so her head rests on his chest and he goes to stand next to her crib. He sways his body back and forth and starts humming to her, a low and rhythmic melody, and it is the single most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed. The way the dim light plays on both their faces makes them look like angels. They are both so beautiful in such different ways. I back up slowly to the bedroom door because this is such a tender moment but I don't leave because I want to watch them. This man, this giant, brooding, gorgeous hunk of man, is the sweetest, most loving dad I have ever seen. It brings tears to my eyes watching them.

Eric lays her down and turns around smiling at me. When he walks closer he looks shocked for a split second but when he walks up to me he wordlessly brushes his thumbs across my cheeks, wiping my tears. I hadn't realized they actually spilled down my cheeks. His hands linger on my face and I look up at him, thinking how I would love to kiss him. I think he's looking at me the same way but then his eyes change and he moves his hands away and brushes past me.

"Let's go eat," he says enthusiastically, "It smells wonderful!"

"It's not quite ready yet," I say smiling, as we walk downstairs, "It needs a few more minutes of prep. Do you want to help me?"

"Sure! I'd love to help. What did you make?"

We're in the kitchen now so I open the oven to take out the heavy pot. Eric bounds over to help so I give him the pot holders. He sets it on the stove and opens the lid.

"Mmm," he groans again. If he doesn't stop those noises, I'm going to tackle him to the ground and go for a ride. Dang, is this how he felt about me? "Boeuf bourguignon," he says. He says it the right way, with a good French accent and it has me wondering.

"Do you speak French?" I ask. I have a thing for French. It makes me hot. If he speaks French to me I will not be held accountable for my actions.

"Je parle un peu Français. Assez pour passer en France," he says with a perfect accent. I'm not sure what kind of sound just came out of my mouth.

"Sookie?" he says and I open my eyes. I didn't realize they were closed. Shoot, snap out of it, girl!

"Oh! What did you say?" I ask, embarrassed by my weird behavior.

"I said that I speak a little French. I know enough to get by in France," he says, looking amused. He looks at the food and asks, "So how can I help?"

"Do you know how to make a roux?" I ask, fully expecting to have to make it myself.

"I do," he says, looking smug. "You were expecting me to say no, weren't you?" he laughs.

"I was actually. How awful of me! You're just so pretty, I don't expect you to have so many other good qualities." Oh shit! Did I just say that out loud? I must have because he's staring at me.

"You think I'm pretty?" he says in that voice I've come to know as his flirty voice. I decide to flirt back instead of letting myself feel awkward.

"I do. You are," I say with confidence.

His flirty smile falters for a brief moment before he recovers and when he does, he gets that look in his eye, you know, the predatory look - the sex look. Dang! I had aimed to take things slow with him. I stick my face in the freezer to get the pearl onions. I'm not hiding, no siree.

But when I close the freezer door, he's there, still looking at me.

"You are too," he says softly.

"What?" I ask. I think I know but I want to hear it.

"Pretty," he says, "Beautiful." His eyes are twinkling and suddenly I can't catch my breath. But he doesn't do anything and as quickly as the look entered his eyes, it is gone and he's in the fridge for the butter. He gets the flour and a saucepan and starts on making the roux.

Meanwhile, I get the mushrooms to sauté and turn on the heat under the stew. I add in the pearl onions while the mushrooms are cooking. Eric whisks his roux, which looks really good- no lumps. I'm impressed by him. Beautiful, smart, and he can cook. Damn, he's every woman's dream.

"That's very impressive, Mr. Northman," I tell him, "You are quite skilled in the kitchen."

His head turns quickly towards me and the sex eyes are back. "I'm quite skilled in other rooms as well," he says.

Oh my god, what? That cannot be mistaken for anything other than extreme flirting, right? I'm sure my face is bright red because it feels like it's on fire. And that's not the only part of me that's heating up. Quick, think of something to say!

I guess I wasn't quick enough because he looks away and says, "I'm sorry. That was inappropriate. I don't know why I said that."

Eff that! I liked where this was going! "Probably because it's true," I say, looking right into his eyes, which widen at my words. "In fact, I'm sure it's a _hugely_ (and here I look down at the unmistakably huge part of his anatomy partly responsible for his bedroom skills) accurate statement." Score! He's frozen. Let's see if we can melt him.

He is facing me, his side towards the stove and his whisk has stopped moving. I can't let him burn that roux, can I? I walk up to him, and the only acknowledgement from him is that his eyes get impossibly wider. I stand just close enough so that I can feel his body heat but not his body. "Your roux," I say softly to him, placing my hand on top of his on his whisk and moving it slowly around. His body stiffens and I can feel him almost vibrating in response to my touch, like there is a charge between us. I lift up on my toes to reach his ear and seemingly unconsciously, his head lowers to meet mine. I whisper, my lips brushing his skin, and all the while stirring slowly, "Keep it up." He whimpers. Whimpers! My job here is done ladies and gentlemen!

I step back and continue to sauté my mushrooms and after about two seconds Eric recovers and seems to reanimate. He begins to whisk his roux again and when he deems it ready, we dump it into the stew along with the mushrooms. It just needs to boil and then simmer for a few minutes and it will be ready to eat.

Eric is looking a little lost and I feel kind of bad for messing with him so I ask him to open the wine to give him a task to do. I set the table while he does and as I'm placing the silverware, I'm surprised to hear soft music fill the space. Hmm, Vivaldi's Four Seasons.

"Lovely," I say, "Which is your favorite? I like Summer. It starts out so slow and soft, deceptively so. And then it builds in such a glorious way like the sweltering heat of a Summer's day, before it goes back to being languid and lingering. You are lulled by the sweeping melody only to be awakened when it gets suddenly quick and exciting. Then unexpectedly it's back to sweet until by the end the melody is fast and frenzied in its crescendo all the while the cellos are keeping a deep steady rhythm and when it's over your heart is racing and your palms are sweaty and you just want more." I look at him and even from across the room I can see him swallow, his adam's apple bobbing down and then back up. God, he has such a gorgeous neck.

He walks towards me slowly, like a cat on the prowl. Those eyes are back, and they are dark with lust. Now it's my turn to gulp. I knew I was pushing him and now I'm kind of afraid about what he might do. The air is charged with the electricity between us. We just need a spark, and we will ignite.

"That was fucking poetry," he says in a deep, silky voice and I wonder about the double entendre of his words. Words like fucking poetry or poetic words about fucking? Either way, though I hadn't meant my words to be quite so sexual. They apparently made him bold because he's still coming towards me. He stops on the other side of the table from me, puts his hands on it, and leans towards me. He's tall, so his body comes closer to me that I'm ready for.

"I don't know how much longer I can play this game," he grits out with a strained voice, his eyes intent on mine.

"What game?" I say. My innocent question is betrayed by my quickening breath as he starts towards me again. He's coming around the table and his gaze is still steady on mine.

"This game, where we pretend that we are just friends and that neither one of us wants to rip the other one's clothes off." Well...I have no idea what to say to that so I just stand there.

He is very close to me now. I can feel his breath fall across my lips when he exhales. He takes a breath in and then his lips are on mine and his hands are tangled in my hair and he's kissing me for all he's worth. Kissing him is like a drug. Something to crave and obsess over until it's finally attained and its magnificence is proven to be so much better than remembered. I lose myself in his mouth, his soft lips and his gently probing tongue, and moan as I bring my hands up to his back, pressing him closer. He steps into me until there is no space between us. He is unmistakably aroused and he groans as his arousal presses into my stomach.

Then, out of nowhere, a loud buzz sounds through the downstairs. Is this the sound my brain makes when it's happy? The longer the buzz sounds, the more my haze lifts and I realize it's the stove timer, signaling that dinner is ready.

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**A/N: I know. I'm evil. I'm sorry but I'm trying to figure out if I should start the next chapter with Eric's pov as soon as he gets home or from right when this chapter leaves off. I'm not sure yet.**

** Anyway, things are heating up! Let me know how you like it!**

**also, I missed responding personally to reviews last chapter and I'm sorry. I was trying to get a chapter of my other fic out along with continuing this one. Please forgive me. Thank you to all my reviewers!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ch 11 here. It starts with Eric's pov when Sookie is telling him why she likes Vivaldi's Summer.**

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ERIC

Fuck, is she talking about music or sex? Her words are innocent but the look on her face and the sound of her voice make it clear that she is speaking with some thinly veiled innuendo. Either that or she is very passionate about Vivaldi. Listening to her talking like this is doing funny things to me. I'm ready to swipe the dishes off the table and push her down onto it. Holy fuck, what is she saying about sweaty palms and wanting more?

As soon as she is done talking, she fixes me with a glare and I can only swallow hard and stare back. I want her. I need to feel her right now. Without my brain's acknowledgment my body is walking towards her. I'm buzzing with my need to touch her.

I say something about her poetic words and even if I wanted to stop moving across the room to her, I couldn't. My brain is no longer in control of me. I am thinking with the engorged body part between my legs. He wants me to keep going so I do. I reach the table, which puts a barrier between us. I need to have her. I need my arms around her and her lips on mine. I need my body close to hers. I lean over the table.

"I don't know how much longer I can play this game," I say feeling the strain of having to talk when I want to be doing everything but.

"What game?" she says. Who does she think she's kidding? She knows what I'm talking about. She has been playing with me all night. I start moving around the table to her and I haven't taken my eyes off her. I'm on the hunt and she will be captured.

"This game," I say, "where we pretend that we are just friends and that neither one of us wants to rip the other one's clothes off." She looks slightly shocked and it's clear she has no clue what to say to me. That's alright. No more talking is needed.

I put both my hands on her head, letting my fingers slip through her silky hair, and pull her close enough to kiss. I capture her mouth in a gentle kiss that soon turns into something much more passionate. Her fingers dance their way across my chest, grazing my nipples. My body shudders at her touch and I release a shaky breath against her lips. Her hands slide around my body to my back and she pushes me closer. I move nearer to her until the only thing between us is my aching erection. I press into her soft stomach and groan at the feel of my cock in such a perfect place. Her chest is pressed against my chest and when she breathes in I can feel her breasts push closer to me. She is amazing. Her mouth is amazing. Everything about her is fucking amazing! Her lips are so soft and sweet, her tongue is eager. I like it. I fucking love it and I don't want it to ever end.

But then, shit, the buzzer. I don't want to stop kissing her and I hold her by the back of her neck to keep her lips on mine. Her hands fist into the front of my shirt, nails raking over my skin, making me gasp. My cock twitches against her and we both moan. I can ignore that fucking buzzer if it means I get more of Sookie.

"Dinner," she mumbles against my lips, pulling back as much as I let her. But then she's kissing me again and I'm not sure how badly she really wants to eat. I'd much rather kiss her all night. Well, apparently my stomach isn't happy with that decision because it rumbles loudly in that moment and Sookie manages to pull back from my embrace. Cock blocked by my own stomach.

We stare at each other and I'm sure I look every bit as intense as she does. Her hair is mussed from my fingers, her lips are cherry red and swollen from mine, and her chest is heaving from the force of her breaths as she calms down. My heart is galloping in my chest, and I'm panting just as much. I look at her until my breathing slows and I feel like I've gotten myself under control. That was the best kiss I think I've ever had.

_Fuck_.

"Maybe later," she says with a wink, walking to the kitchen, "Let's eat now." What? I said that out loud? Oh holy fuck! She's killing me.

If the food didn't smell so good, I'd tell her to forget it, we should fuck now. But I know she worked hard making it and I'm sure it's excellent so I would like to eat it. Besides, it's late and I'm starving. I don't want this moment to end, though. I want to keep all this good sexual energy alive somehow. Right now, I can feel it in the air.

"Hey," she says, bringing me back down to earth, "Will you bring the stew to the table while I cut the bread. I forgot all about the bread."

"Sure," I say, following her. I grab the pot holders and bring the pot to the table. I get the wine and make sure we both have full glasses before I go back into the kitchen to see what Sookie is doing.

She's standing at the counter cutting bread so I walk up behind her and press my body to the back of hers. My head is over her right shoulder so I can see what she's doing.

"Eric! You're going to make me cut myself!" she says laughing.

"No, I just want to watch," I say solemnly, knowing that I'm not here just to watch her cut bread. I turn my head and kiss her neck right under her ear and she moans and drops her knife. Hmm, I think I found her sweet spot.

It feels good to have someone in the kitchen with me. I used to make dinner with Sophie all the time. Ah, shit. Why'd I have to think of her? She's the last person I want to be thinking about now.

I drop my head so that my face is in the crook of Sookie's neck surrounded by her hair. She smells good and she makes me feel better so I close my eyes and just breathe her.

"Eric?" Sookie says as if she has already said it before. Maybe she did and I wasn't listening.

"Hmm?" I say against her neck.

"Are you okay? I was telling you I'm done cutting if you want to sit down." No, I don't want to sit down. Can't I stay here against her?

"Oh, yeah. Sure," I say with much more enthusiasm than I feel.

She picks up the board with the bread and I follow her to the table. I pull out her chair for her and she seems surprised but pleased. She puts her hand on my cheek and caresses me and I have the sudden urge to rub up against her whole body like a cat. But instead, I take my own seat as she sits down in hers.

I'm entirely too far from her across the table. Would it be stupid if I moved to sit next to her? Probably.

"Thank you for making all this, Sookie," I say earnestly, "I'm sure I'm not worth all this trouble."

She smiles warmly at me. "I'm sure you are, Eric," she says sincerely. I like when she says my name.

She dishes up the stew, giving me twice as much as herself, which makes me laugh because she knows me so well.

"What?" she says, looking at me with a small smile.

"Nothing, it's just funny that you know how much I eat."

"I've seen you eat many times now and each time I'm still impressed with how much you can pack away. But I've seen that body of yours, so I can see where it goes."

"You've only seen half. I promise, the other half is even better," I smirk.

She's just looking at me rather blankly and I think I have her tongue tied but then she says, "Yeah, well, we'll see." Ooh, does she want to see, because I'll whip it out right here!

The food is too hot to eat so I take a sip of wine and hear that the music has gotten to Vivaldi's Winter, which is the one I like best. Really, I love them all but something about Winter reminds me of home.

"This one's my favorite," I say, gesturing toward the speakers. I'm going to beat her at her own game.

"Your favorite?" she repeats with a furrowed brow, until she remembers her earlier question to me.

"Yes, unlike Summer, Winter starts off at a frenzied pace. It's light and it's fast and it makes you lose your breath but at the same time there is a continuos rhythm- _dum, dum, dum,_" I drum on the table to match my words as I speak, "Like your heartbeat, there is always that rhythm, you can always feel it- _dum, dum, dum,_" I haven't stopped drumming. "And meanwhile, that melody is still fast, still powerful, still going- and then as fast as it starts, it stops, leaving you floating. It slows down, the melody flows all around you but that rhythm- _dum, dum, dum_- is still there in the background. This time lighter, more playful as fingers expertly pluck at strings and the bow glides in long smooth strokes. The notes move along, creating a winding melody that builds in many small strokes, lingering in some places to create the perfect melding of notes. It slows down and becomes sweet and soft until the end, when it swells once more into a frenzy as everything comes together in its beautiful conclusion. And when _it's_ over, you want to close your eyes and sleep, you are so spent you couldn't possibly take anymore."

I look over at her and she's just staring at me, with her bottom lip between her teeth. She hasn't taken a single bite. Two can play at this game, Miss Stackhouse! I believe I won that round. I pick up my spoon as if nothing happened and start eating.

I knew by the smell, this stew would be unbelievable and I am not disappointed. "So good," I say around a mouthful of food. I know that's not polite but she hasn't started eating yet and I want to break her out of whatever haze she is in. Finally she looks at me and smiles.

"The secret ingredient is love," she says with a smirk. Oh shit, I'm choking. Ok, I'm not choking, but I had just taken a drink and I swallowed wrong and now I'm coughing up my lungs. How attractive, Northman. Nice job. She wins.

She jumps up and comes around to me, patting and rubbing my back. Well, this wasn't my plan but she's touching me, so it's not too bad.

"I'm okay," I rasp out.

She goes back to her seat. "You sure?" she says and I think how sweet she is to be concerned. But then she says, "I could get you one of Annika's bottles until you learn to drink from a cup like a big boy." Oh, she's a funny one. She thinks she is, based on her big smile.

"Oh, I'm already a _very_ big boy," I say. Smile wiped. Another point for Northman. This is fun.

"Indeed," she says archly. "Listen, Eric, as fun as this is...can we get serious for a minute?"

I gulp. Shit. "Sure. What do you want to talk about?" What am I so afraid of? Suddenly my pulse is going a mile a minute and I feel like I can't breathe. Everything I was feeling this morning and at work today comes flooding back into my mind and I'm almost panting with my effort to calm down and remain in my chair.

"Eric, relax. You look like I want to discuss your murder or something. What's wrong? I just want to talk about us," she says softly.

"I know. That's what's wrong," I say but then immediately regret my choice of words when she looks like I just slapped her. Hurt and a small amount of anger play across her face and I know I have to make this right but I don't have the words.

"That's what's wrong? That's what's wrong?" she says, her voice growing more shrill with each word. Shit, fix this now Northman! "Shit, Eric! You're the one who attacked _me_. You're the one who stalked me around the table and then grabbed me in a kiss." Well, I was trying to fix this but now I'm fucking angry.

"Jesus, Sookie! I didn't attack you! I kissed you. Don't make me sound like some kind of animal who came at you with no provocation. You messed with me all night. You worked me up with your body and your words, what did you want me to do?"

"So that's all it was, Eric? You reacting because you were turned on? You want me to believe you didn't want any of that?"

"Yes! No! I don't know! You kissed me back, Sookie. You wanted it too!" Christ, I'm so confused. Why are we even fighting?

"Fine, Eric," she sighs. "I'm not saying I didn't want to be kissed because I did. And yes, I teased you until you made a move because I want you, Eric, and I thought you wanted me!" She looks shocked at her confession.

"Then why are we fighting? Christ...this is exactly what I don't need. This is the exact reason I didn't want anything to happen between us."

"You didn't want anything to happen? If you didn't want anything to happen you should have kept your fucking mouth shut!" she says in a harsh voice. She's mad, shit, I've never seen her mad and cursing. She's scary as hell.

We're not done eating but I can't sit here with her any more. This is the shitty part of relationships. It's never all happy, there is always this crap to deal with and we don't even _have_ a fucking relationship yet. I push my chair back and stand up but I don't know where to go. I don't want to go upstairs because Annika is there so I walk to the living room but I have all this nervous energy and end up pacing back and forth across the room.

Sookie sits for another second, looking shocked, and then she gets up and walks towards me. I'm expecting her to be angry with me for abandoning her at the table but she looks anything but. He face is soft and she looks at me compassionately as she walks up to me. She stands in my path, which makes it impossible to keep pacing unless I go around her which I don't. I stop right in front of her.

"Eric," she says softly, taking my hand, "I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you. Will you come sit down with me?"

She pulls me to the couch and sits, pulling my hand until I sit down beside her. I am having such conflicted emotions about talking to her. I like her but this complicated shit is not something I need in my life right now.

"I like you," she says, looking at me, and my stomach flips at her words. "I know you have been hurt in the past, we both have, though I'm not comparing your pain with mine. I just think this thing between us is real. And it's not going away. Don't we owe it to ourselves to see where it might go?"

"What if it goes to shit?" I say before I can stop myself. Fuck, I had just meant to think that.

"Is that what you think? Before it even starts?" she asks gently.

"That's what past experience tells me will happen." Shit, she's pulling words from my mouth that I don't even know I'm thinking until they're said!

"Oh, Eric," she sighs, bringing my hand up to her mouth. She presses a kiss into my palm and closes my fingers as if she wants me to hold tightly to it. "If you live in the past, you miss all the good things in your present."

I look at her for a long time in silence. She just lets me look, she doesn't say anything. Can I do this? Can I let down my guard long enough to give this thing with her a chance? There is no doubt that we have chemistry. Hell, that kiss was full of passion and that brief night in the hotel room was too. We get along really well and always have good conversations. We seem compatible but isn't that what I thought about Sophie too? Isn't that why I spent three years with her only to be left heartbroken?

"Eric," she says, looking so far into my eyes, it feels like she can see my soul, "You deserve to be happy."

These are the words that finally undo me. These words are the nail in the coffin of my self control and I snap and pull my hand from hers as I abruptly stand. My chest is heaving with the force of my effort to calm myself so I don't cry. Why the fuck does this keep happening to me? I had been so easily able to control my feelings until Sookie showed up in my life. Now I'm spinning out of control and I don't like it.

"No!" I say, but I choke on that one simple word and it becomes a sob. Fuck! I can see her start to stand up so I turn from her and stand silently until I feel like I can talk without breaking down. I feel her warm hands on my back, caressing me, and it soothes me by a small amount. She removes her hands and just when my heart falls because I think she will walk away, I feel her whole body flush against mine from behind. Her arms come around my front and rest, one my stomach and one over my stuttering heart. She presses the side of her face into my back and hugs me tightly in her arms. There is no place else I'd rather be right now, than in her warm embrace with her soft cheek pressed against me.

"It's okay, Eric. I don't want to push you. If you aren't ready, it's okay," she says gently. She is so good, so kind, and I want to be what she needs. She deserves happiness but I'm not sure I'm the one who can give that to her.

"I want to be," I whisper, unsure whether she can even hear me and whether I'm answering her or myself. "I want to be ready," I say a little louder. She holds me tighter and if I knew her better I would turn around and sob into her neck. I hate this feeling. I hate to feel so out of control, like I can't handle myself, like a fucking child.

Sookie moves to slide around my body to my front. I pick up my arms so she can come around and the feel of her hands smoothing across my stomach and around my lower back, sends heat to my groin and I start to stir again. Shit, I don't need this now.

"I can wait until you're ready, Eric," she whispers to me, her breath heating my chest under my shirt. "We can take this really slowly if you need to."

I don't know if that's even possible given how much I already want her in my bed. What I don't need to go slow with is the physical part of a relationship but I'm sure she's the opposite since most girls are.

I realize I haven't said anything so I nod and say, "Okay, let's do that. Just be patient with me, Sookie. Because I'm going to fuck up sometimes, probably even a lot. This is hard for me. If you just want a good time, that's easy, I can do that well," I say, giving her a half smile, "But, this," I gesture between us, "This is really scary."

She looks up at me smiling. "Okay, let's do that," she says echoing my words, "Because I need to kiss you again," she says, putting her hands on the back of my neck and making me wonder which 'that' she's referring to, "Right...now," she whispers as she brings my head down and tips hers up to meet it.

She angles her head to capture my lips in a searing kiss that goes on and on. Her mouth is hot and greedy and she basically forces my mouth open, pushing her tongue inside. This is different. I'm not used to this level of aggression but I like it. I eagerly return her affections but then her mouth leaves mine and is trailing down my jaw to my neck.

I groan as she presses hot wet kisses to my neck and her name falls from my lips in a gasp as she traces her tongue up the thin muscle from the hollow of my throat, across my chin and back to my mouth. Oh, fuck. My legs are going to give way if she doesn't stop.

Until now, my hands have been rather useless in my shock at her aggressive move. But I put them to good use, running them across her back and then down, squeezing her and making her moan. I bring them around to her front and lightly stroke down her sides, over the soft curves of her breasts to her hips. I grasp her hips tightly with my long fingers and bring her in close to my body, bending my knees to rock my erection into her. She moans against my lips and I gasp, surprised by how good this feels even through our clothes. Even still, I want to get her out of hers and feel her naked body against mine. Oh shit! A horrible thought enters my mind. I have no condoms. It's not like I was expecting this would happen and I haven't had sex in so long...fuck! Shit! I feel like screaming every curse word I can think of and then making up a few more.

She must sense my abruptly foul mood because she pulls away to look at me.

"Jesus, Eric, what's wrong? You look like you want to kill me!"

"Ha, no," I say, trying to school my features so I don't look murderous, "I just, uh, I don't have anything...any protection." And as soon as I say that, I'm suddenly worried that I overestimated how far we would go tonight. Maybe she just wanted to keep kissing, which hell, is fine with me. I look at her, worried about what she will say.

To my relief, she looks disappointed. Well, I mean, I don't want her to be disappointed but if she is that means she wanted to have sex too. "Oh," she says, looking down at my dick, which is straining to get out of my pants. Sorry buddy, not tonight. "Well, this must be the universe's sign that we should slow down," she says with a slight laugh even though she doesn't look all that happy.

"Goddamn universe," I mutter, which gets me a genuine laugh from her. But she's right. We should probably to take this slower. I smile at her, and take her hands in both of mine. "Thank you for tonight," I say, "Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for dinner and for kissing me and for not leaving when I acted like a jackass."

"Well, if I left as soon as you acted like an ass, I would have never even stepped foot inside your house," she says with a broad smile.

"Well then, thank you for that too," I say after a moment, "Because I'm glad you did."

"So am I," she says looking up at me so tenderly I lose my breath for a second. She reaches out her hand and cups my face, running her thumb across my cheekbone. "Listen to me, Eric. I'm not perfect and I don't expect you to be. But I have a feeling you sabotage yourself by thinking that you are going to mess up, and then when you do- because everyone does- you use that as proof that you don't deserve good things. I don't know much about you, which I hope changes soon, but I have seen enough of you to know what a good and decent man you are. You do deserve good things. Okay?"

She's looking at me and she expects me to say something, I'm sure. But what can I say to that? What can I say about her observation of me that is so dead on it's scary? "Okay," I murmur, bringing her close for a hug. I put my face in her neck again and breathe deeply.

"You like that spot, huh?" she says and I can hear the smile in her voice, though I can't see it. The vibrations of her words against my face tickle, the sweet perfume of her body surrounds me, and the soft warm skin of her neck invites my touch. All these sensations come together to create the perfect place to rest my head.

"Come on, do you want to finish eating?" she says. Oh, I forgot all about eating. I do want to eat but I don't want to let her go. I stand holding her to my body for another silent minute, thankful that she lets me.

"Yeah, let's eat...again."

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**A/N: Do you hate me because they didn't do the deed? This chapter got a lot more angsty than I had intended but Eric is a complex guy. Certain things trigger him and he gets freaked out but I think Sookie can help him through. Sooo, the (rocky) start to their relationship- what do you think?**

**I also want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter. There were a lot! And I do plan on responding but I had no time this weekend. So thank you, and I'm sorry again and I hope to thank you personally soon. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 starts from where 11 left off, with Sookie's pov.**

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SOOKIE

I hold Eric's hand as we walk back to the table. This evening has been all kinds of intense. From the flirting to the kissing to the fighting. Whew! I'm ready for a bath and a nap!

I sit down in front of my food, which has now cooled off and needs to be reheated. Since the food in the pot is still warm, I decide I will get two new bowls for us to use. We can figure out what to do with the other stew later. Right now, I'm just so hungry.

"Eric, I'm going to get new bowls for us," I say as I remove his bowl from the table. He just nods. I walk to the kitchen and put our bowls on the counter and get new dishes. Eric is being really quiet, which I've noticed he does when he's upset and thinking. He did it in the hotel restaurant after I mentioned his family and on the airplane, though I don't really know what was wrong then. He was just really quiet and far away for most of the flight and even after. I know after a while he will snap out of it so I will wait him out.

"Here you go, sweetheart," I say as I set a new bowl full of warm stew in front of him. His head snaps up but he doesn't say anything for a second. He just looks at me and I can't figure out what's going through his mind that would make him look like this.

"What is it?" I ask him. I am so done with him feeling bad. I just can't stand it, it's breaking my heart and I want him to be happy. The level of pain on his face is staggering and before I know it, I'm in front of him cradling his head against my stomach. I stroke his hair, which is probably softer than mine. Hmm, I wonder what kind of conditioner he uses...so not the time!

"Don't call me that," he murmurs against me, "Please. That's what she called me." Oh. Goddamn this fucking bitch ruined everything! If I ever meet her, someone's going to have to hold me back or I will rip her head right from her body.

"Eric, I am so so sorry," I say pleadingly. "It's been a hell of an evening, hasn't it?"

He pushes off of me and sits up, smiling slightly. "It sure as hell has," he says.

We just look at each other for a second before both of us crack wide smiles and start laughing. We get the church giggles. You know, the kind of giggles where you are trying your hardest to be quiet but every time you look at the other person, you end up laughing so hard you can't catch your breath. We are just laughing and laughing and it feels so good. Eric has the best laugh, loud and boisterous, and he throws his head back and clutches his stomach. It is the absolute best and I'm so glad to see him happy.

"Ah," I say, as the last of my chuckles leave my body and I relax, "We needed that!"

"We sure as fuck did," he says wiping his eyes, still smiling.

"I love your smile, Eric. It was one of the things that first attracted me to you."

He looks intrigued, "Really?" he says, smiling brighter.

"Yup, really," I say as I move around the table to take my seat. "Well, that and your washboard abs. Really, Eric, when you opened the door without a shirt I was speechless! You're lucky I didn't push you down and have my way with you right then, cause believe me, I thought about it!"

His eyes flash with desire before he says, "Sookie?" looking and sounding inexplicably uncomfortable.

I'm looking at him and I really think he would just remain silent forever if I don't make him spit out whatever he wants to ask. "Out with it, man!" I say playfully.

He hunches his shoulders up and sort of grimaces and I can't imagine what he wants to ask me that has him this uncomfortable.

"Can I come sit next to you?" he mumbles. Seriously? That's it?

"Of course! Come here!" I say resisting the urge to tease him about his ridiculous hesitation in asking. Eric likes to be close and I think he's going to be an excellent snuggler whenever we sleep together.

He grabs his wine glass and his bread and napkin and I lean across the table and pull his bowl to him.

"Thanks!" he says. He's so happy right now and my goal is to keep him happy for the rest of the evening. He grabs my hand and kisses the back of it. "I'm just so happy I get to touch you!"

"God, you're adorable," I say, "You don't even try, you just are. Okay, let's eat!" It's getting really late and we haven't even finished dinner. We both take a few bites without talking. I'm sure Eric is just as hungry as I am.

"This really is delicious, Sookie," he says right before he shovels an absolutely immense bite into his mouth.

"Whoa, slowdown Cowboy! If you choke, I don't think I could Heimlich you," I tease.

He smiles. His mouth is full so he can't talk.

"Hey, Eric. Let's play 20 questions to get to know each other better. Do you want to? I don't even know how old you are and I was ready to..." Ok, I'm not going there but really, I was about to give it up to a guy I've known for two weeks whose age I don't even know. "Anyway, what do you think? We take turns answering, just quickly, nothing that would take too long. If you don't feel comfortable with something you can just say pass. Does that sound good?" I added the pass part for him, since he's sometimes reluctant to share.

He swallows his bite before talking, "Um, okay. Let's try it." He looks pretty nervous but I'm glad he's willing to do it anyway.

"Do you want to go first?" I ask him. Maybe he'll feel more comfortable if he asks the first question.

"Favorite color?" he asks sheepishly.

"No, it's okay. That's a good question. That's exactly what I meant. Just easy questions like that. But, to answer you...I don't even have one. Is that weird? I like the way certain colors look together. Like shades of blues stacked up or a really bright pink next to a Kelly green, or soft blues and greens together like you'd see on a bright day at the beach, I don't know...How about you? What's your favorite color?"

"Well, now I feel totally boring compared to you! Mine's red. Okay, um, do you play any instruments because you sure as hell love Vivaldi!" he laughs. Good, I'm glad he's relaxing.

"Not right now. I used to play the violin but just in school when I was young. I just really love music. Hmm, well ok, how old are you?" I feel really stupid that I don't even know that.

"Thirty- two," he says around a bite of food. "Give me a minute because this is fantastic and I'm so hungry. I can't think of anything to ask right now anyway."

"Sure," I say. "You know, I think it must be your roux making this taste so good," I say with a wink.

"Well, you're just lucky I didn't burn it. Shit, woman! I don't know what you did to me but I couldn't move!"

"Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't help myself. You're really fun to mess with!"

Eric is about to answer me but Annika starts crying from upstairs. He immediately jumps up. "She hardly ever wakes up at night. Let me get her back to sleep. Will you be okay here?"

"Eric, I'm fine. Go get her."

He takes the stairs two at a time and as soon as I hear her door open, she immediately stops crying. I can hear his muffled voice cooing something to her before he goes in and closes the door.

I continue eating while I wait for him to come back down. While I have all this time to myself, I reflect on our evening so far. It seems that Amelia was right about him being gun shy...or something. I'm not exactly sure why he doesn't think he's deserving of a good life. It's more than just his ex I think. I hope he soon feels comfortable opening up to me because I would like to help him. I have had enough therapy in my life to know how much talking helps and how much stuffing things down hurts. After my parents died, my brother and I saw someone for quite a while and it helped a lot.

Amelia told me to give him a break which is why I didn't stay mad at him when he freaked and walked away. Luckily he was in his own house because that was the second time he left me at the table. He couldn't go very far this time, though. He's a runner and I'm going to have to keep that in mind so that I don't give up on him too soon. What I told him about him being a good man is absolutely true. He has so much on his plate and even though he sometimes flies off the handle, when it comes down to it, he is good guy. Does everyone see it but him?

But as good as he is, thank god for no condoms- really! I got a little too carried away there. Judging from the response in his pants, he did too. When he rocked himself against me, holy shit! I wanted to rip his pants down and grab hold of what was inside...with my lady bits...yeah, I'm a hussy. I will have to get back on birth control, though, because sex with no condoms feels so much better. I haven't had a steady boyfriend since Bill and that was two years ago so no need for the pill.

And seriously, can he just live in the crook of my neck? I will shrink him down and carry him around there. It is just the sweetest thing ever the way he buries his precious face there. He just stood there holding me tightly to him, breathing loudly in my neck. I think he would have stayed there all night if I didn't remind him that we hadn't finished eating.

I hear Annika's door close which brings me back to the present and my empty bowl in front of me. He was gone for a long while and I guess I finished eating absentmindedly as I thought.

He comes quickly back to the table and sits down. "That was weird," he says, "So unlike her to wake up and to take so long to get back to sleep." Then he notices my empty bowl and says, "You're finished. Would you like to take your wine and move into the living room with me?"

I look towards the living and then back at Eric, remembering well what almost happened in there.

Sensing my apprehension, he grins and says, "I can behave," then his eyes twinkle and he adds, "As much as you want me to."

I smile at him, happy to see this playful side of him. "Sure," I answer, getting up with my wine glass in hand. He follows me with his own glass, which he tops off before coming to sit next to me on the couch.

"Do you still want to play the questions game?" he asks.

"Sure, it's your turn."

"Okay, what will you do when you graduate?"

"Nothing! Ha! No, I'm going to grad school. Can't really do anything with a neuro degree except go back to school. I like school anyway."

"Which school?" he asks quickly and even though it's not his turn, I will answer him because I think he's trying to figure out how long I'll be around.

"MIT. Same school I'm at now." I hate telling people where I go to school because I always get the inevitable surprise as if they just can't understand how a blonde haired Southern girl with big boobs ever got into MIT. I look at Eric to gauge his reaction and he looks surprised. I'm sure I look as disappointed as I feel. "You're surprised," I say with a sour expression.

"No! I'm happy you will be staying here after you graduate. I know you're smart. I'm not surprised you go to MIT."

I smile sincerely at him, because whether he realizes or not, he just told me he wants me around for the long haul. And that he thinks I'm smart.

"What about Jason?" he asks and I don't really understand the question but I'm happy he remembered my brother's name.

"Jason?"

"Your brother. That's his name, right? Is he smart like you because that story you told..." He trails off towards the end most likely because he doesn't want to insult me by calling my brother stupid.

"Yeah, Jason. He's dumb as a box of rocks but he's a charmer. I think he slept with half the high school girls by the time he graduated and I'm sure he's slept with the rest by now!"

"Oh," he laughs, "That's funny. You guys are so opposite. My brother and I were opposites growing up too!"

"You have a brother?" I look over at him, surprised by his admission, only to see his smile fade. Where he was so open before, he is now closed. Where there was a happy lightness is now dark. Shit.

I reach for him. "Tell me," I gently demand. He needs to talk, why doesn't he see this?

He shakes his head and I think he's going to remain silent. He picks up his full wine glass and chugs the contents.

"Whoa, Eric," I say, "Slow down darlin'"

He wipes the back of his hand across his mouth like a young child drinking Koolaid. He sighs but stays quiet and just when I think he will not talk after all, he starts.

"I have a younger brother," he says. "Sander. He's a junkie. A heroin addict, or at least that's what he was using the last I heard."

He looks so utterly devastated by what he's revealing. I am holding his hand and I want to give him a hug but I don't want to interrupt him. He is inside himself right now, which is where he needs to be so he can let someone else in too. So I sit still and listen quietly, hoping he will keep talking.

"I haven't seen him in so long. I don't know anything about him anymore. He was my best friend growing up and now I don't even know if he's dead or alive."

He says all this with a surprisingly steady voice while looking at the floor. But as he looks up at me, I can see the struggle on his face to maintain his composure.

I reach for his face to touch him gently but he shrinks back so I drop my hand.

"Let's talk about something else," he says.

I smile, "Sure, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

He waves my concern away and says, "So whose turn is it?"

"Yours," I say, surprised he's still willing to play.

He smiles. "Can I kiss you?" he says with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

I smile back at him. "Yes," I breathe as he comes closer to me.

He makes his way to me very slowly and very softly presses his lips to mine. He doesn't make a move to deepen the kiss at all. He just very sweetly captures my lips between his, over and over again. His hands go to my hair and he runs his fingers through it. When he stops kissing me, he rests his forehead against mine and with his eyes closed, he breathes steadily until his breaths slow down. I'm surprised he so effected by such a gentle kiss but his breath is sweet as it whispers across my face so I'm not complaining.

When he leans back from me I tell him that it's probably time for me to go home. A flicker of something crosses his face and then he agrees that it's late. I stand up to clean up from dinner and he tells me that he will take care of it.

"You cooked, I'll clean," he says.

I thank him and go to the closet to retrieve my coat and boots.

"It's really late and I know you have a thing with cabs but, Sookie, I would really feel better if you took one tonight. Do you usually go out so late by yourself? That scares me," he says in one breath like he's nervous.

"I usually do, yes. There are always so many people around."

"Sookie, if anything ever happened to you I...I would just feel so much better if I know you'd be safe getting home. Can I call for you? Please?"

"Eric, fine, call me a cab," I say, smiling. Well, if he's going to beg me, I guess I will have to take one. It's not that big of a deal and I don't want him to be scared for me.

"Oh, good," he sighs, relieved. He goes to call and I put on my boots and coat and grab my purse by the door. He comes back out and walks right up to me.

"What are you doing?" I ask playfully.

"Goodnight kiss," he says just before his lips are on mine. We kiss until the cab honks on the street. Well, we kiss after that because even though I try, he won't let me pull away.

"Eric...," I whisper against his mouth.

He steps back reluctantly. "Okay okay, I just don't want to let you go."

"I know...but I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay," he says after he leans in one last time.

We smile at each other and he watches me from the door as I walk to the cab. I wave before I close the car door and with my fingers on my lips, I relive the feeling of his soft mouth on mine for the whole ride home.

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**A/N: Sorry this one is short but I have most of the next two chapters written so they will most likely be posted soon! **

**Also, a guest reviewer asked a question and since I can't PM them and because others might be wondering, I thought I'd clarify here. Sookie is not on birth control because it's been so long since she's been in a relationship. Eric has no condoms because he hasn't had sex since the one night stand after Sophie left him and he was drunk then. He already has an unplanned baby and he is not about to let that happen again especially with a woman he hardly knows. So even if she was on birth control, he wouldn't have gone farther without a condom. I hope that explains things better!**

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Here's chapter 13- or what I am calling The Nighttime Adventures of the Single Dad. Enjoy, because Eric sure doesn't and he drops enough f-bombs to make that clear. **

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As soon as I close the door, I sink back against it and sigh like a girl. Why am I so happy? Kissing Sookie is one of the best things in this world! That was an awesome end to my otherwise overwhelming day. Seriously, this is like the day from heaven and from hell all at once. I won't survive another one like it.

I have lots of cleaning up to do so I get to it even though I just want to go to bed. I start by putting the stew in the fridge- the whole pot, I just stick it in there. I scrape the dishes and put them into the dishwasher, cork the wine, bag the bread and wipe the table and counters. Never let it be said that Eric Northman is afraid of housework. I can do my share of anything. I do more than my share of parenting!

Tonight with Sookie was certainly intense. I'm so happy that she let me kiss her so much. Her lips are heaven and I want to die so I can stay there forever. I wanted so badly to ask her to stay the night. Not for sex, because we have no protection and because I realize it's better to take things slow- no matter what my dick thinks. And believe me, my dick thinks it's the worst idea in the world. I will need to take care of that later so that I won't wake up to a mess again.

But no, I wanted her to stay so that I could sleep close to her. It's been so long since I've slept next to someone and I miss it. I miss a warm woman in my bed to snuggle up to. I knew Sophie was pulling away from me when she didn't want to sleep in bed with me. That's when our relationship and my sleep went to shit. At first, I believed her excuse of pregnancy making it hard to sleep but then she started to pull away in different ways and I had to face the facts. When I came home from work and she was packing a suitcase, I lost it. I must have begged her for hours to stay, for me and the baby. I thought she was taking my baby away from me too until she told me the real reason for her leaving. That left me reeling and I watched, speechless, as she walked out of my life.

Annika crying upstairs breaks me out of my thoughts of the past. I can already tell that getting into another relationship is going to bring up so many terrible memories of my relationship with Sophie. I'm going to be reliving so many things and I am not looking forward to it. I thought I had successfully put it behind me and I don't want to have to think about it again.

I walk into Annika's room and she is laying in her bed crying. She is usually standing up when I come in to get her and this cry she is making is unlike any I have heard before. She sounds so pitiful and tired and my heart is breaking as I look down on her.

"What's wrong, princess?" I ask as I pick her up. If only she could tell me.

As I bring her up to my shoulder I can tell she is really warm. Shit. Is she sick? This is truly the day from hell. I bring her to her changing table and strip her fleece pajamas off. They cover her whole body so they might be making her hot. I dress her in an undershirt and pick her back up to rock her. She falls quickly back to sleep but when I try to put her down, her little eyes pop open and her face screws up and I pick her quickly back up. I hate when she cries. I hate to see her upset. Shit, I don't know what to do for her. She has never been sick and her only fever was after her last set of vaccinations. I know I have some paperwork from her doctor telling me what her Tylenol dose is. Shit shit shit!

I walk down to the kitchen with Annika, who is making this really sad whimpering sound.

"Baby, I'm going to help you feel better," I tell her, hoping it's true.

I look through the cabinets to find the infant Tylenol and then go back up to my office to find her medical file. Good thing I'm organized even if I can't remember how much she weighs. I find the file and pull out the sheet from her nine month visit. Okay, so twenty- two pounds and that was a month ago. I can't figure out if I should add any weight because she's now ten months old but I figure too little is better than too much. I wouldn't want to OD her. God, that would be a nightmare and that thought makes me double and triple check her dose on the bottle of medicine. Ok, I think I got it right.

I take her back into her room and sit with her in the rocking chair while I squirt the red liquid into her mouth. She makes a retching sound and then the whole contents of her last bottle, the Tylenol and hell, probably half the Charles River comes out of her mouth all over my lap and the floor. Fuck! How she manages to completely avoid herself has me baffled but it doesn't surprise me given my day thus far.

"Oh, princess," I say to her as she begins to cry. Can I cry too? Because that's just what I feel like doing...for probably the hundredth time today. I pull myself together for the hundred and first time and set her down in her crib while I run to my room and strip off my clothes. She is still crying, even harder since I left her, and this is just one of the many reasons I wish her mother had wanted her. She could have helped me and Annika wouldn't be crying alone right now while I frantically stuff my clothes in the hamper. I grab some flannel pants and hop down the hallway, pulling them on as I go. I step carefully over the vomit on the floor and pick up my girl. I hold her tightly to my chest and try to soothe her.

"I'm so sorry," I say, "I guess I didn't make you feel better. I'm so sorry, baby, I will do better."

I have the thought that maybe I should see how high her temperature is. Maybe she doesn't need the medicine and I won't have to try to get her to take it again. I don't know why I didn't take her temperature first. God, I'm no good at this. I don't deserve this precious thing, I'm going to break her.

I take her with me as I search for the thermometer. The hospital gave me one of those long thin ones and when they showed me how to use it I nearly passed out. There is no way in hell I was going to stick _that_ anywhere near _there_. So I picked up the kind that you swipe across the forehead since I read it was easy and accurate. Now I just have to find it. Of course, I find it right where I found the Tylenol and I don't know how I didn't see it and think to use it before. I guess I'm just really bad at this.

"I'm sorry, Anni," I say to her again.

Her head is just laying against my shoulder but she's not asleep. I'm so worried about her. At what point do you call the hospital? Okay, maybe I'm jumping the gun a little. I should probably take her temperature first. I grab the thermometer and sit with her at the table. I swipe the thing across her forehead, which makes her cry again because I have to move her. God, I suck at this. I bet Sookie would be much better at this. If it wasn't after midnight I'd ask her to come help me. But, I will just have to man up and take care of things. Yes, I can do that!

I look at the thermometer after I swipe her head and it says: BAT. What the fuck? What the fuck does that mean? Oh goddamn! This thing needs fucking batteries? I've only used it once or twice. If Annika wasn't miserable on my lap, I think I would be screaming curse words right now. As it is, I'm mumbling them under my breath, hoping she's too tired to pick up on any. It would be just my luck, and a testament to this shitastic day, if she learned her first bad word today.

Okay, so batteries. I think I have a drawer for those. I go to the kitchen and rifle through the junk drawer until I find two batteries that will fit. Do you know how hard it is to juggle a baby, two batteries, and a fucking thermometer? Well, it's damn near impossible to get batteries into this thing while holding Annika. I can't put her down though, because I don't want her to cry anymore. So, it takes me about five minutes to get this damn thing working and then I have to move Anni again so I can swipe it across her head again.

This time when I look at the display it reads: 103.4 and I think my heart stops as I look at it. That's really fucking high, right? I think so. Last time it was only 101 point something and the doctor told me to give her Tylenol. What am I going to do if she won't take the Tylenol? Maybe a bath with cool water? Yes, that's a good idea. That's smart, right? Maybe I'm not rubbish at this.

Except once I have the bath drawn, and I stick her in, she will not stop screaming. She's arching her back and she won't sit her bum down. She's acting like the water is burning her but that can't be true because it's much cooler than her other baths. So what is a daddy to do? Why, get in the bath, is my brilliant idea. So, now I'm sitting in the bathtub with Annika sitting on my wet flannel pants because my brilliant idea did not include taking off my own clothes. Whatever. Maybe I'm not supposed to bathe with my baby girl anyway? I don't know the rules about these kinds of things. Anyway, the bath is not going well because every time I scoop up a handful of water and pour it onto Annika, she freaks out and claws at me like she needs to get away from the water. She usually loves baths so I don't understand what is going on.

So, this is not working out so I stand up with her and grab a towel for her. I shimmy out of my pants, which is really fucking hard because they are flannel and they are wet. I leave them on the bathroom floor. I'll get them later. Annika is shivering and I need to get some clothes on her. But do I put her back into the fleece? Probably not since she's already too warm. As soon as I lay her down, she starts screaming again so I quickly pick her back up and grab another undershirt and diaper. It is really fucking hard to put a diaper on a baby on your lap. We're just lucky it stays up as I pick her back up. I drop her towel over the vomit on the floor, which is all the clean up I can manage right now.

Now I need to get myself some dry clothes, though I don't know how I'm going to get dressed while I'm holding her. I end up making silly faces and dancing around like a fool in front of her as she sits on the bed, while I pull on a tank top and another pair of flannel pants. At least she didn't cry but I did forget underwear. Oh well, I'm not starting over. I pick up Anni and go downstairs to get the thermometer and figure out where I left the Tylenol.

I really don't want to have her throw up another dose. Maybe if I give her a tiny bit at a time she will be okay. Last time I tasted it and it is pretty bitter despite the disgusting syrupy taste. Her temperature is only slightly lower so I try to get a dose of Tylenol into her very slowly. It's working somewhat but I feel bad because she keeps turning her face away and she's starting to get really mad at me.

"I'm sorry, Anni," I say once again. I hate this. I hate doing things to her that make her unhappy. She doesn't understand what's happening. She must wonder why I'm being so mean to her. Oh god, why did I have to think that? Now I feel like crying all over again because she thinks I'm being mean when I'm supposed to love her.

This time, when Anni makes a slight retching sound I decide I'm done trying to force it down her throat. They must make something that babies like better than this wretched stuff. Maybe I can mix it with something?

I look in the fridge in case some juice or something magically appeared but I have no suck luck. Fuck! Well, it's not like I thought I could wish things into existence. If I could, I'd wish for Sookie to be here right the fuck now. I'm floundering and I need her. I need her? I need her.

Okay, so maybe baby food. I wonder if she'll eat right now. I look in the cabinet and find some applesauce and decide that maybe she'd eat that with Tylenol mixed in. It's worth a try.

She eats a bite. A bite. And I had mixed the whole thing in with the remaining Tylenol. So she's had half a dose and about a fiftieth of another half dose. This is ridiculous. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

I get another half dose and squirt it all onto a spoon then cover it with applesauce and she accepts it. Oh thank god! I kiss her hot little cheeks and smile because that ordeal is finally over. Now, we just have to get some sleep.

I bring the Tylenol upstairs with us and as I pick it up, I read that it says she will need another dose in as little as four hours. Four fucking hours? No fucking way! This is so fucking stupid! My stuff lasts much longer than that! Don't these Tylenol makers know how fucking hard it is to get their fucking medicine into a baby? Goddamn these fucking bastards. Okay, so I may be a little pissed off. My temper might be getting the better of me right now but I have had a hard day and I'm tired and emotionally drained so I feel like I'm entitled to a few muttered f-bombs.

Well, screw sleep, apparently. At least that's what Annika thinks. Every time I think she's asleep and I try to put her down, she immediately starts crying. Is this how normal babies are? Have I just been incredibly lucky that she is so easy going? Thank fuck she is not like me!

Okay, so maybe if she won't sleep in her bed, she will sleep in mine. Because I have got to get some sleep. I was at work late tonight getting ready for a huge important meeting tomorrow and I can't go in on no sleep. But I have no idea how I'm supposed to sleep with Annika in my bed. Do I put pillows around her? I don't want her to fall off the bed and given this day, that's exactly what would happen. An idea flashes through my mind so I push my bed into the wall with my legs, since I'm carrying Anni. Shit, I think I ruined my fucking wood floors. It's fine, totally worth it if she sleeps.

Which of course, she doesn't, because this day wants to go on forever. Thanks universe. You could at least get me some KY if you want to fuck me so thoroughly. Couldn't let me fuck Sookie but you sure as hell love to fuck me. Annika looks up at me and I realize I'm talking out loud. Shit!

"Anni, you have to know by now what a fu- what an idiot I am. I'm sorry you're stuck with me," I tell her but of course, she doesn't understand. One day she'll know all about me and I hope she'll still love me even if I keep making mistakes that I have to apologize for.

So, it looks like Annika doesn't want to lay down. She keeps falling asleep against my shoulder so maybe the next time she's asleep I'll just sit down somewhere and try to get some sleep sitting up. I pace around with her until I think she's asleep and then sit on the edge of my bed to see what will happen. Immediate crying. Shit. I stand back up and try again, this time waiting longer before I sit down. More crying. Does she hate me? She must hate me already.

Thinking that maybe she likes the movement of my pacing, I go sit in her rocking chair the next time I think she's asleep. Ahh, not a peep. The only problem is that I have to keep rocking or she starts this whimpering thing that will turn into full blown crying if I stop. Besides, I'm about to fall asleep and I feel like I might drop her if I do. What I wouldn't give for one of those fabric pouch things I see people using to keep their babies close to their bodies. If I wasn't so tired, I'd try to MacGyver one of those things with a sheet and some duct tape.

Finally, the universe smiles on me or I pace long enough or Annika decides she likes me and she finally stays asleep when I sit on my bed. Do I push my luck and try to lay down? I don't think I'll risk it. Instead I grab all my pillows and stack them on the side opposite Annika so I can sort of fall over to the side and sleep semi-upright. It will have to do because by now I only have about three hours to sleep.

I had three hours, except Annika wakes me after two. It's six am and I feel like I dug and then was buried in my own grave only to dig myself out again. Tired. I'm so fucking tired.

I've dialed Sookie's number before I even remember thinking that I could call her now to ask for help. Well, it's ringing so I shouldn't hang up now.

"Hello?" she answers, sounding like she just woke up because, well, I'm sure she did.

I'm tired and apparently incoherent because I find myself rambling about Annika and me not sleeping. And I think I ask her to come over but I mean, who the fuck knows anymore.

When I hang up with her I have no idea what I told her and I don't even know if she said she was coming. Now I have to get another dose of medicine into this baby and I want to cry just thinking about it. Could I put it in her milk? Maybe oatmeal. If she'll eat. She's still in my arms and this is the only time I've ever wished she didn't get my gene for tallness. My arms are aching at this point. I've been holding her for hours now.

When my doorbell rings a half hour later and I open it to find Sookie standing there, I am so relieved I want to throw myself at her. I have never been so pleased so see anyone at any time in my entire life. Maybe I'm exaggerating but shit, I'm really fucking glad to see her.

She is an angel and she's here to help me and I just want to hand her Annika and lay down right the fuck here on the floor in front of the door. I thank her for coming and tell her a little about our night and she starts asking me questions that I probably answer but I can't be sure. She smiles at me and takes Annika from my arms and tells me to go to bed. Yes. Bed. I walk upstairs like a zombie and fall into my bed.

The next thing I know, my alarm is beeping and it's time to get up. I shower quickly and make my way downstairs to the glorious smell of coffee. She's an angel. She's a coffee making angel.

"Eric!" Sookie says loudly. What? Why is she yelling at me? Oh. Well, it's not my fault I'm dressed only in underwear. I'm on basically no sleep and I was just following the smell of the coffee. She's lucky I'm not naked.

"Sorry," I mumble, turning around to leave and get dressed. I swear I hear her curse under her breath but I could be hallucinating.

"No, here," she holds out a cup of coffee, "Take it with you. And be quiet. Annika is asleep in her room and it took forever!"

I sip the coffee as I walk and it is fixed the exact way I like it. How the fuck did she do that? Maybe she really is an angel.

I drink my coffee as I get dressed and by the time I'm finished, I feel somewhat human again and at least mostly coherent. I walk quietly into Annika's room to peek at her before I leave for work and she looks peaceful in her crib. As I turn to walk out, I realize that the towel I put on the floor last night is no longer there and neither is what was underneath it. Did Sookie clean that up? That was really nice of her. I take a quick look in the bathroom and discover that she drained the tub and picked up my wet pants also. And the washing machine is going so she must have started a load. She is absolutely heaven sent and I am so lucky she likes me though I can't figure out why she does.

I walk downstairs to thank her and say goodbye to her and as I come up to her, I see she is on the phone...talking to Annika's doctor...how the fuck? But then I see Annika's medical file open on the table. She must have found it in Anni's room. Forget angel, I'm going to throw myself at her feet because she is obviously a goddess.

I go in search of more coffee but she taps me on the shoulder and wordlessly hands me a travel mug. Huh, I have a travel mug? Well, that's good because I need it!

As soon as she's off the phone we are both talking at once. I'm trying to thank her for everything she did this morning and she's telling me she made Anni an appointment for later today, which I was going to do when I got to work.

"You're welcome," she says, touching my arm, "It looks like you had a really hard night. Next time, call me. I would have come right over."

"Thanks, yeah it was rough. Thank you for making her appointment. Let me give you cab fare. I would come with you but I have to be in a meeting. Please call me after and let me know how it goes. Let me know what's wrong with her?"

"I will," she says with a smile. She leans in and caresses my face like she does sometimes. "You're worried."

"Yes," I sigh, "She's never been sick."

"Well, I took her temperature and it's down some from last night. It was 102 when I checked. It's probably just a virus or an ear infection. She'll be fine. Did she throw up the Tylenol? I'm going to get some Ibuprofen for her. That tastes much better. Leave me her insurance card in case I need to pick up meds for her and try to come home early because you look tired, you poor thing."

I don't know what I ever did to deserve her and as I stand here looking at her I blurt out the only thing that's been running through my mind since she got off the phone, "I love you!"

Oh, fuck.

I blame my lack of sleep and the resulting absence of mental filter for my declaration. I don't love her, not really. Shit.

She stares at me for a second looking stunned and then she laughs a little and pats my arm. "Go to work, hun. Because you need to come home and sleep. I'll call you after her appointment."

"Thanks," I mumble. I grab my coat and briefcase and take Annika's insurance card from my wallet and she comes over with my coffee. She stands on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek and say goodbye and I walk out the door to my car.

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**A/N: So he survived his first night alone with a sick baby. Anyone who's been there knows how hard it is and how useless you can feel sometimes because you just can't get this little thing to feel better and you probably don't even know what's wrong. And in case you don't know, the thermometer that Eric refuses to use is the rectal kind. I was not down with those either and bought the temporal kind like he uses. Much easier. **

**Thank you so much for reading and for the reviews and alerts! Thanks also for those reviewers that converse with me- it helps me with ideas and I appreciate it and enjoy the conversations.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I was going to wait on this chapter but I am so happy to reach 300 reviews and 200 followers that I worked hard to get it out today. So thank you all! I really appreciate your interest in my story! **

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SOOKIE

It's 6 am when my phone rings. I look at the caller ID between squinted eyes and see that it's Eric. Why would he be calling me this early? I answer the phone and he just starts rambling. I get that Annika is sick and has been up all night with a fever. He has to be in for a big meeting at work and he's on no sleep. He wonders if I could come an hour early so he can sleep for an hour before work. He sounds so desperate and exhausted, I tell him I'll get dressed and leave right away. He tells me to take a cab and he'll pay for it.

When I get there he opens the door looking, well, like crap. I've never seen him look so haggard. He has Annika laying against his shoulder and her little cheeks are bright red. Eric's hair is sticking up and he's wearing a tank top and pajama pants. If he didn't look so tired I'd be admiring his arms in said tank top. Ok, I might be eyeing his arms anyway, I love him in tank tops. And damn, I don't think he's wearing underwear. Again? Ok, focus!

"Thank you so much," he whispers when I step inside. "She won't sleep unless I'm holding her but if I lay down with her she wakes up. I don't know what to do. She's never been sick before." I can see the worry in his face.

"What's her temperature and when's the last time she had medicine?" I ask. "Did you call her doctor?"

He looks so relieved to have someone to help him. He answers my questions with a glazed look on his face and I realize he needs to go lay down before he falls down. I take Annika from him because I'm sure his arms are about to give way.

"Go to bed, Eric," I tell him. "Make sure your alarm is set. Then we'll make her an appointment to be seen today, okay?"

He doesn't answer me. He just walks upstairs slowly without a word. Poor guy.

Annika stirs a little so I decide to take her temperature. Eric said it was over 103 last night but it's 102 now and it will go down as the Tylenol has time to work since he just gave it to her. I go upstairs with her to see if I can get her to lay down. I pass Eric's room and for the first time, his door is open slightly. From what little I can see, it looks like he passed out face first on his bed. He's not even all the way on it. He must be so exhausted.

I get to Annika's room and step over a wet towel on the floor. After swaying with her for a couple minutes I lay her down really slowly and pat her back when she whimpers. She quiets down and stays quiet as long as I pat her. I stand and pat her for what seems like hours but is probably in reality about 15 minutes. Then I back slowly away and she stays asleep. Phew!

I go to pick up the towel and realize that it's covering a big mess. What the heck did Eric have to deal with last night? Yuck. I wipe as much up as I can with the towel and take it immediately to the washing machine. Then I go back with some cleaning spray and a washcloth to wipe the rest.

As I pass the bathroom, I notice some rumpled pants on the floor so I go to get those and discover they are soaking wet. How did this happen? I notice the tub has water in it and drain it. Did he take a bath in his clothes? Okay. He must have been desperate. I wish he would have called me. Into the machine go the wet pants and the bath towel on the floor.

After I tidy up the applesauce and drips of red medicine in the kitchen and dining room, I decide to make Eric some coffee for when he wakes up. I'm afraid to let him drive with how tired he is. After rummaging through the cabinets I find an unopened bag of coffee and some filters. I even find a travel mug tucked into the corner behind the coffee. I watched him make his coffee in the hotel room so I know he likes a little sugar and lots of cream. When he comes down, I'll make him a cup.

Shit! I didn't think he'd come down barely dressed. I don't think he even realizes he's only wearing underwear -very tight, very red underwear- because when I say his name loudly, he seems just as startled as me to discover his state of dress. He mumbles an apology and then turns around to go back upstairs.

_Holy fuck_!

Oh crap! I think I said that out loud! It's just that I can't tell which view is better, his front or his delicious backside. His butt is mmm, I don't even know. I can't even find a word for it...I just want to bite it! Shoot, calm down, Sookie.

I tell him to wait while I fix his coffee and then I hand it to him so he can drink it while he gets dressed. Once he goes upstairs - and I certainly did not watch his ass flex while he walked up all twelve of his steps- I pour more coffee into his travel mug and set it on the table for him to take to work.

He is obviously still out of it and I found Annika's pediatrician information so I call her doctor to make her an appointment. I have no problem taking her because Eric will be busy today.

When he comes back down, he's dressed and seems more with it. He thanks me for cleaning up and I tell him I made Annika an appointment.

He asks me to call him after to let him know what's wrong with her and his face is lined with worry as he runs his hand through his hair in an unconscious gesture of the stress he is under. Now that I can touch him, I pet his face, running my fingers across his eyebrows so that his furrowed brow will relax.

I try to help his worry by telling him it's probably nothing serious and that I will pick up whatever she needs. I also tell him to come home early, not that I think he'll listen to me, but he looks like he is about to fall over. And with the way he closed his eyes and leaned into me when I touched his face, I'm surprised he's staying upright.

"I love you!" he says suddenly. After a brief moment of shock, I look at his face and the expression he's making is so adorable. He looks scared and embarrassed, and his cheeks are red and it just endears him to me even more.

I know he's just grateful for my help and is too tired to properly filter his words. What a sweetheart, though I'm careful not to call him that. I pat him and tell him to go to work so he can come home and sleep.

He says nothing beyond a mumbled thank you. I hand him the travel mug of coffee he left on the table and kiss his cheek and he's off.

I have about an hour to get Annika to her appointment so I let her sleep for another half hour, then wake her, dress her, and call a cab. Her fever seems to have gone down some more, which is good. The doctor is just down the street near the hospital so it doesn't take long to get there.

She lays her head down on me as soon as we get into the office. When I try to lay her on the doctor's table she clings to me, which is the first time I've really ever seen her less than happy to interact with anyone who smiles at her. I keep my hand on her while the doctor looks her over and that seems to make her feel better. The doctor doesn't have the best bedside manner and he hardly talks to her or me. He seems thorough though, and after looking into her ears and mouth and checking her over, he says she has a virus. Maybe fifth disease but we won't know until after the fever runs it's course. If she has that, her cheeks will stay red for a while and she might have a rash. He says to keep giving her bottles but not to worry if she won't eat solid foods. Just make sure she has enough wet diapers and give her a fever reducing medicine. I thank him and take Annika to the waiting room to check out.

I can tell the two ladies behind the desk are curious about who I am. As soon as I checked in with Annika Northman, I suddenly had all their attention. God, Eric has women fawning over him when he's not even around!

"I'm her nanny," I say to put them out of their misery. They look all surprised like they have no idea why I would tell them because they aren't wondering. Yeah, right.

"Well, we'll send Eric, oh I mean Mr. Northman, the bill," one of them says. The way she says his name is nauseating.

"Thanks," I say with a big fake smile. I dress Annika for the cold and put my own coat on and get the heck out of there. Jeez, everyone likes Eric. And he likes me?

There is a drug store next door to the hospital so I pick up some ibuprofen for Annika and then we head home. I spend the rest of the day walking around with Annika or patting her back or collapsed on the couch when she finally sleeps. She is usually so happy and her extreme crankiness today must mean she really doesn't feel good. Poor little girl. I feel so bad and there's not much I can do for her. At least she takes the Motrin well.

Eric comes walking in the door from work at around two o'clock, looking awful. He looks ten times worse than this morning. His face is red, his eyes are glassy, and he looks so so tired. I immediately walk up to him and help him with his coat and briefcase.

Pam comes walking in a moment later.

"Did you bring him home?" I ask, surprised to see her.

She nods. "He is in no shape to drive."

No wonder he was so out of it this morning. He must be sick too.

"Eric, sit down," I say, leading him to the couch. I put the back of my hand on his forehead and then run my palms down his face to his neck to see if he has a fever. He makes a sound somewhere between a sigh and a moan and closes his eyes, leaning back on the couch.

"You have a fever. Stay right here," I tell him.

I walk back over to Pam, who is still next to the door watching us with a strange expression.

"Listen, Sookie," she says quietly, "He will need help tonight. He needs someone to take care of him and help with the baby. Can you do that?"

"Yes, of course," I say. I would love to take care of him.

"Good," she says, her demeanor lightening a little bit, "And make sure he stays home tomorrow. I cleared his schedule already and he needs the rest. He's going to fight you on it, but keep him home, okay? I will come get him for work on Thursday morning as long as he feels better."

"I will, Pam, thanks."

She nods and then looks as if she's debating something with herself. Finally after standing there for a couple seconds in silence, she says, "Walk me to my car." It's not a request.

I follow her out the door wondering what she wants from me. She walks briskly to her car a few spaces down the street. She stops to lean against the car to wait for me to catch up. I had to put my shoes on so I'm a few steps behind her.

"What did you want?" I ask her.

"Don't fuck with him, Sookie," she says to me, giving me a hard look.

"Excuse me?" I say. What the heck?

"With Eric. I don't know what's going on with you two, maybe you think it would be fun to try and fuck your boss. I don't care what you two do, really, but you'd better make sure he understands what it is. If he is just a quick fuck to you and you'll be moving on when you start school again, make sure he knows that."

The whole time she's been talking I've been trying to interrupt her to tell her she is wrong. She is so wrong about what this is, but when she finally pauses, I guess I am angry because I interject with, "Whoa, Pam! I know you know Eric much better than I do but I don't think what we are doing is any of your business!"

Yikes! Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I think her temper is as bad as Eric's. Her eyes narrow as she looks back at me.

"Listen, blondie," she says, which is funny coming from her because she's blonde too, "Eric is like family to me. He is the best man I know, even if he can't see it. And I'm telling you not to jerk him around. He can't take it, no matter how big and strong you think he is and I will not let him get hurt again. Do you understand?"

Am I supposed to answer her? "Yes!" I say, "I understand! I like him, Pam. A lot. I don't want to hurt him. I want to keep seeing him after I go back to school."

Her face softens a little and she smiles slightly, "Good. I knew we would be friends. Just be patient with him Sookie. He had a really hard time after Annika's mom left."

"Sophie?"

"Yes, did he tell you about her?" I nod. She looks surprised.

"Did he tell you about his family?"

"He told me a little about his brother," I say, wondering if there's more to tell.

"Well, there's more, but it's not my place to tell you. He just deserves so much better than the hand life has dealt him. There was a point when he didn't have either of them, after Sophie left him but before Annika was born. I have never seen anyone hurt as much as he did. He doesn't deserve that. Not then, and certainly not ever again. So, figure out what you want from him, Sookie, and don't let him love you if you don't have plans to love him back. I like you...I wouldn't want to have to put a hit out on you." She laughs and so do I but I'm actually a little afraid she is serious. I sure as hell would not want to cross her.

"Pam, I'm not going to lead him on. I really like him. I think he's a great person and I want to be with him. You don't have to worry about me."

She smiles at me, a warmer smile than I've ever seen on her face before. "I'm glad, Sookie. I'll see you on Thursday." She gives me a tiny hug and then gets in her car to leave.

I go inside and take off my coat and shoes and shake off my nerves from that strange conversation. At least he has someone looking out for him. I walk back over to Eric, who is slumped onto the arm of the couch looking really sick.

"Eric," I say softly because his eyes are closed, "Have you been like this all day?" He shouldn't have worked through this.

"Well, everyone told me I look like hell so maybe?" he says, sitting up and leaning his head back on the couch.

"Well, Annika is asleep so let me help you." He nods, eyes still closed. He looks miserable.

"You need to go to bed. I'm going to help you get to your room and then I'll get you some medicine, okay?"

He nods again and opens his eyes. He starts to stand up and it takes him two tries, the second with my hand under his arm. I put my arm around his waist and we walk side by side through the house and up the stairs. The door to his bedroom is almost always closed so I ask him if I can open it.

"It's okay," he says, "You can come in."

His room is very bare. There is only a bed, a dresser and one bedside table. His bed is pushed into the wall and from the scuff marks on the floor, it wasn't done very carefully. There is a stack of four pillow in the middle of it next to the wall.

I help him sit down on his bed. He can't rest in his suit but I don't really know if I should undress him. He's just so miserable so I feel like I should help him. I slip my hands under his suit jacket and push it off his shoulders and then loosen and remove his tie. I can't help but remember the last time I did this. That was for very different reasons.

"Eric? You'll have to manage your shirt and pants, okay?" I feel like I'm talking to a child because he seems so out of it right now. His eyes are closed again and he reaches for the buttons on his shirt. His fingers are fumbling badly with them and he's not managing to get any of the buttons undone. I gently stop his hands with mine and kneel in front of him to help him with his shirt. This is not how I imagined it would go when I finally got to undress him.

As soon as I get one button undone, his eyes fly open and he just looks at me. He watches me the whole time I'm there unbuttoning and it's kind of unnerving.

"I'm not doing your pants," I say with a laugh to lighten the mood under the weight of his stare. He gives me a faint smile and reaches to undo his pants. Um, I don't think he would normally take off his pants in front of me but he is not thinking clearly right now.

"Wait," I say. "Let me get you some pajamas. Which drawer?"

"Top," he says, dropping his hands to the bed.

I retrieve a tank top and soft gray pants and place them on the bed next to him.

"Get dressed, okay? I'm going to go get you some water and medicine." I had seen some Motrin in one of the cabinets in the kitchen. I probably should take his temperature, so I grab the thermometer too. I fill a glass with water and bring it up. I hope he's dressed by the time I get there.

When I walk in he's laying in his bed with the sheets over the lower half of his body. I hand him the Motrin and then the glass and watch while he swallows. After placing the glass on his nightstand I go to the bathroom and run some cool water on a washcloth.

When I get back to his room, his eyes are closed again but his brow is furrowed like he's in pain.

"Are you okay, Eric?" I say.

"I'm okay. It's just my head and my eyes hurt. I'm sure I'll be fine soon. Thank you. You can go home now if you want." His voice is weak and tired.

"Close your eyes, honey, let me help you feel better," I say as I fold the washcloth in thirds and gently place it over his eyes. I put my hands on his head to massage his scalp and as I gently move my fingers through his hair, his eyes flutter closed and he sighs. He has really awesome thick, soft hair and it feels nice flowing over my fingers. He likes what I'm doing if the happy purring coming from him is any indication. It makes me smile.

"I think I should stay," I tell him as I tickle his scalp. "If Annika wakes up, there is no way you can take care of her. And she's been asleep for a while so she will wake up soon. She's been cranky all day so let me stay and take care of her for you." I want to take care of him too but I know that his priority is Annika and he will be more okay if I spin it this way.

I remove the washcloth and go back to the bathroom to re-wet it. He looks at me with a soft expression as if he's thankful that I will be here to let him rest. He looks like hell and he needs the sleep. I sit next to him on the bed and run the cool washcloth over his forehead and down his cheeks to his neck. His tank top has a very low scoop neck so I slide the washcloth down from his neck to his chest. There is no sound in the room apart from our breathing and I find myself matching the rhythm of my breath to his as I watch his chest move. I slowly run the washcloth across his chest and then refold it to find a cool spot because his skin is so hot. I can feel the heat radiating off of him. I slide the cool side down his shoulder, over his bicep and down his forearm to his wrist and then repeat the same motion on his other arm. As I reach his wrist, he grabs my hand before I can move it away. He opens his eyes and looks at me with an expression I can't make out but it nearly takes my breath away. This would be incredibly sexy if he wasn't so sick. His mouth curves slowly into a smile.

"Thank you," he says in a voice between a whisper and a sigh. I nod and smile back at him. I don't know what this is I'm feeling towards him but I like taking care of him. It feels right.

"Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?" I ask and he shakes his head. "Okay," I say, "Try to sleep. I'll check on you later." And then I bend down and kiss his forehead. He looks so sweet and sad laying there.

He is just looking at me and he watches while I walk to his door and slowly close it.

As soon as I'm downstairs I call Amelia, both to freak out and to ask her to come round with some clothes for me.

"Where will you sleep?" she asks me.

"There is a daybed in Annika's room that I can sleep on. I have no idea what's in the office but I don't want to bother him to ask."

"Why don't you just sleep in his bed?" she asks like it's no big thing.

"Um, because he didn't invite me into his bed! Plus he's sick so it's not exactly romantic."

"Exactly! That takes the pressure off. It's just sleeping."

"I don't know, Amelia. Maybe if he asks me." She has a point. It would be nice to sleep next to him even if I would risk getting sick. But I'd surely be able to keep my hands off him since he's so miserable.

"Okay, give me an hour and I'll be there." I thank her and we hang up.

By the time Amelia gets here, Annika is awake and she seems to be doing a little better. She's not as unhappy though she still wants to be held.

"She is beautiful," Amelia says as she comes into the living room with my bag. "She looks like her dad?"

"She has his features but he's blonde. But they are both beautiful," I tell her.

She smiles. "Well, here's your stuff. I hope I didn't forget anything. Let me know if you need anything else. You are so nice to take care of them like this. I hope he thanks you properly," she says with a wink.

I laugh, "Maybe when he feels better." We say goodbye and she leaves.

I play with Annika and feed her and then put her back to sleep, which is getting easier.

When I go to check on Eric, he is sleeping. I would normally just let him rest but it looks like his fever broke and he is so sweaty. His pillow is damp and his shirt is wet and sticking to him. I can't leave him like that. I get another shirt from his top drawer and sit next to him on his bed.

"Eric, " I say softly. He doesn't move. I put my hand on his cheek and say his name again. He moves into my touch and makes a funny purring sound. God, this man just makes me smile.

I try again, gently tapping his cheek and saying his name in a normal voice. He opens his eyes and when he sees me, he smiles.

"I think your fever broke but now you're all sweaty. I'm going to help you change your shirt, okay?"

"Thanks," he says softly. He makes a move to take his shirt off and I help him lift it over his head. While his head is up, I reach behind him and remove his pillow. I lean over him to get the pillow on the other side of his bed and as I'm reaching for it, I realize that I'm basically laying on top of Eric and his face is pressed to my breasts. Because he's been sweating, his scent is stronger and sweeter and I cant think straight for a second. As I place the new pillow under his head and he lays back, he looks at me with that same expression as before and I can't pry my eyes away from his. I reach my hand out and put my palm on his cheek and just look at him. He is sweaty, his face is flushed, his hair is a complete mess, but he is still the most beautiful man I have ever seen. I run my thumb across his eyebrow and he closes his eyes. I lean forward and kiss each eyelid gently, liking the small sound he makes when he feels my lips. When I sit up, he opens his eyes and his expression is surprisingly intense. How he can look so lustful and so miserable at the same time is baffling. I smile at him and try not to let my eyes wander down his bare chest, which is really difficult.

I grab his clean t-shirt and help him get it over his head and down his body. As I'm pulling the shirt all the way down, I graze his erection under the sheets with the back of my hand. I hear his sharp intake of breath. I'm trying to ignore it because he's sleepy and sick and I know sometimes men don't have much control over that part of their body. So I pretend I didn't feel it but I know I'm breathing harder than normal because, damn, I would love to help him out with that part of his body. There's probably a rule against giving hand jobs to men with high fevers, right?

He closes his eyes. "Sorry," he whispers.

"Don't be. You can't help it," I say with a smile, "I'm irresistible." I know I'm not, but I'm trying to lighten the mood so that he doesn't feel bad and so that I don't jump him.

He smiles his magical smile, as I've come to call it, and I grin back at him. I get up with the promise to come see him again soon. He needs to sleep now.

I walk out of the room and as soon as I close the door, I take a deep breath in and all my confidence flies out with my exhale. I lean my head back against the wall with a thud. Never in my life have I wanted someone as much as I want Eric Northman. This taking it slow business is going to slowly kill me.

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**Thanks for reading! I enjoyed all the reviews commiserating with Eric and his night from hell. I have certainly been there too!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Here's chapter 15, which is Eric's pov. It starts when he leaves his house for work on Tuesday morning after his wakeful night with Annika. **

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ERIC

Tired. So fucking tired. I made it to work only because I've driven it so many times that I can go on autopilot by now. I am in such a fog but I need to get ready for this meeting. I have a presentation to give and right now I'm not even sure I will be able to stand up for long enough to do that. Let alone talk.

I walk through the building to my office and as soon as Pam sees me, she jumps up and comes over to me.

"Eric, you look like shit. What's the matter?" she says as she takes my arm and walks with me into my office.

"Annika is sick. I barely slept. I _feel_ like shit, thank you for noticing," I smirk.

"Is she okay? Sookie is with her?"

"Sookie is my angel," I tell her without thought. Filter's still misplaced I guess.

She looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Annika has a fever. Sookie's taking her to the doctor. She should call when I'm in the DeCastro meeting. If it's something bad, interrupt me, okay?"

"How do I know what's bad?"

"Sookie will know. Ask her if you should interrupt me."

"Okay, are you sure you can give the presentation? You kind of look like hell, Eric."

"Thanks. I'll be fine. I have to be."

I am. I push through my fatigue and get through the meeting. Pam did not interrupt me so as I walk back to my office, I wonder what Sookie found out from the doctor. I get to my desk and collapse into my chair.

Pam follows me in and tells me that Annika has a virus and should be fine in a couple days. Good. I'm so glad it's nothing bad. My worst nightmare is something happening to her. It's my job to protect her and I would never forgive myself if I couldn't.

"Why don't you go home?" says Pam.

"It's not even lunch time," I tell her. I have never left work early and I don't plan to now. I can just down some more coffee and get through this day.

But by lunch time, my head is pounding and no amount of coffee is helping it or my burning eyes. I can barely look at my computer screen. Pam comes in with my lunch and my stomach turns at the thought of eating even though I just requested it.

"Go. Home." she orders, looking at my slumped body and grimacing face.

"I can't," I protest weakly.

"You can. I'm driving you. Relax for a bit while I finish something up and then I'm taking you home. Do you want this?" she says, holding out my lunch.

"Ugh," I groan.

"See, you're refusing food, your favorite too, you must be sick!" she shakes her head as she walks out to her desk.

I have never been so happy to be home. I can't even remember getting here but I'm glad I am. I remember Sookie bringing me over to the couch and putting her hands on me. I wanted to collapse into her and ask her to carry me to bed. But where did she go? I can't stay upright anymore so I lean over to rest my head.

I hear her come back to me and she asks me something. I'm pretty sure I answer her and then she says I should go to bed. Yes. That's where I want to be.

She helps me to my room and I sit on my bed. My head hurts so much more because of my effort in climbing the stairs. She takes off my jacket and my tie. My shirt, she wants me to do. I try. My eyes won't open. I'm so tired. I try to get the buttons open and then I feel her cool hands on mine and then she's kneeling between my legs and she's opening my shirt. I watch her face, she's watching me. My angel, so beautiful. I like when she touches me, I like everything she does to me.

She tells me to take off my pants and I try but I stop when she says to wait. She wants me to put some pajamas on. But now she's leaving. Where is she going? Is she coming back? I hope she comes back.

I don't sleep with pants on but she gave me some. I put on the tank top and climb under the covers and now I have no more strength. I wait, trying to stay awake because I want Sookie back.

Just as I'm drifting off, I hear her come back. She puts something on my forehead. The thermometer. She makes a noise and then hands me some pills and some water so I swallow them and then lie back on my pillow. It feels so cool on my neck and shoulders.

She's asking me something else. How I feel? I tell her my head hurts because it's pounding with every move I make. But she should go home now. She doesn't have to take care of me anymore. I'll just sleep.

Ohh, god. Her hands are in my hair and it feels so good. It tickles and I shiver. She calls me honey but it's her who is sweet. I like her hands and I want more. I want her to caress my whole body. I'm on fire and I want her cool hands to soothe me.

She tells me she will stay for Annika. She wants to help with Annika. Yes. But she leaves me again and I want her back.

And finally she's next to me, I feel a cool cloth on my face and my neck. She moves it down to my chest and down my arm and then she leans across my body to reach my other arm. Her chest hovers over mine and as I breathe in, so does she and our bodies become even closer. The cloth makes me feel cool and warm at the same time. She makes me feel so good. Always so good. She is an angel. She's my sunshine in the dark. I grab her hand. I look at her beautiful face. My angel, so lovely and so kind.

"Thank you," I tell her and I want to tell her so much more.

She kisses my head and her lips are cool against my heated skin. I want more. More of her cool skin on mine. More of her.

But she walks away. She's at my door._ No, angel, stay with me_, I would tell her if I could find my voice. But she's gone and so I close my eyes.

My sunshine is back. I can feel her hand on me and she says my name. I open my eyes and see her face close to mine. I feel better. Still tired but my head doesn't hurt anymore.

She wants me to change my shirt. I lift it over my shoulders and she helps me pull it over my head. She's on top of me, my face against her beautiful breasts as she takes my pillow and gives me another one that feels cool and dry. She's always so good to me. She touches my face and looks into my eyes and my heart races. I want to touch her but her hand on my face makes me close my eyes. Her lips, so gentle on my skin, make me sigh.

My fever may be gone but her touch enflames my body and awakens my desire. She helps me put on another shirt and I arch my back to help her as she pulls it down my stomach. Her hand brushes against my cock, steeled by her attention. Just a light touch but my breath hitches although I manage to suppress any other reaction.

I'm ashamed of my body's response to her and I apologize. She's so good to me. This is not what she wants now and I know that.

But she's not angry with me. She smiles at me and makes a joke. But it's not a joke because she's right. I can't resist her. I tried. I tried and I succumbed. I want her. I need her and I'm done resisting.

Oh, but she's leaving again. She says she'll come back soon but she's gone before I can ask her to stay.

"Angel," I whisper. "Sookie," I say louder, hoping she will hear me and come back.

My door opens and she asks if I need something.

"You."

She smiles at me, coming a little closer.

"Lie down with me? Please? I just want to feel you close to me."

"Okay," she says with a generous smile.

I pull back the covers and she gasps. "You didn't put your pants on?"

"I don't sleep with pants on. I don't really remember. I can put them on."

"It's okay," she smiles, "Just behave yourself."

She climbs over me and it takes all my willpower not to pull her down on top of me. She settles on her side facing me and I roll to face her. I want to turn her around and pull her body into mine but then I don't think I would be able to behave like she asked.

"How do you feel? A little better? It seems so," she smirks.

"Better. But still tired," I say as my eyelids droop.

She runs her hand down my cheek to the side of my neck and then down my chest. She lets it rest briefly on my stomach and then seems to remember my erection, and quickly moves her hand away. But I want her to touch. I ache for her and my control is slipping.

She exhales heavily and then pulls my hand until my arm is over her hip and my hand rests on her lower back. She scoots her body up to mine and I pull my hips back because if my cock touches her, my control will cease and I won't be able to behave, despite how tired I am.

She lays her head on my other arm that's bent around my pillow. She kisses my chin, seemingly unaware of just how much she is affecting me, of how much I long for her, of how painfully hard I am for her.

"Okay?" she asks, her breath fanning my face.

"Okay," I whisper. Just barely. But her in my bed is better than anything I've had in a long time and I will not ruin it by misbehaving. I close my eyes as I feel her fingertips trace my ear and the line of my jaw.

I wake up in the dark. I have no idea what time it is but I am alone. My angel is gone. I get up to go in search of her and as soon as I stand, my head spins and I fall back onto my bed. I sit until the spinning stops. I drink the rest of the water in the glass that Sookie brought me and then stand up slowly.

When I get downstairs, I find her on the couch feeding Annika. I love to see them together. They both make me so happy.

"Hey, sleepyhead," she says to me as her eyes briefly sweep my body.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"About seven-thirty. You slept for a few hours. You feel better?"

"I do. But I'm dizzy," I say, sitting next to them on the couch. Annika reaches her arms out to me and struggles to sit up.

"Hello baby girl," I coo at her, "Are you feeling better?" I reach and take her from Sookie, who helps her sit up. She pats my cheek and smiles at me, her bottle forgotten. I hug her to my chest, so grateful that she seems to feel so much better.

"Are you okay with her? I'm going to make you some tea. You're probably dizzy because you need to eat. You want me to make you something? Or there's leftover stew?"

"Not hungry," I say. The thought of food is making me nauseous.

"Really?" she says, "You must not be feeling that much better. Well, have some tea. You need some sugar."

I smirk at her unintended innuendo. "I do need some sugar," I say.

She comes up behind me on the couch and puts one hand on my jaw as she leans down and kisses my cheek on the other side. "You'll have to wait on anything more than that," she murmurs into my ear, "You _are_ sick, after all."

I close my eyes as she kisses me and when I open them, she's across the room heading into the kitchen. I lay Annika back in my arms to give her the rest of her bottle while Sookie makes me some tea. I didn't even know I had tea.

"I have tea?" I yell across the room.

"No," she says loudly, "But I do."

She brings me a steaming cup and sets it on the little table in front of me.

"You're an angel," I say.

"That's what you've been muttering all day!" she says with a smile, "I couldn't figure it out. Then I figured it was just nonsense because you were so out of it. But it was 'angel.'"

"How has Annika been today," I ask, changing the subject because I'm embarrassed. I wonder what else I was muttering. I was totally out of it when I got home. Telling her I loved her was bad enough, who knows what I could have said when I had a fever.

"This morning she was pretty cranky. I spent all morning holding her and she was unhappy at the doctor's office but tonight she's been happier. I bought her some Motrin and she takes it well and I think it's working better. Her fever is down to 100, with the medicine."

"Oh," I say, feeling bad that I didn't realize there was something better for her.

"Eric, you did the best you could. You dealt with a lot last night and you kept her happy through it all, I know you did. You did as well as any parent does with a sick baby. Don't feel bad about anything."

"You are always so nice to me, Sookie. I'm so happy you stayed. Thank you."

"You're very welcome, Eric. Pam says you are to stay home tomorrow and I'm not to take no for an answer. Okay? So don't fight me on it or I will be forced to take drastic measures."

Drastic measures? "Like what?" I ask, intrigued.

"Well, I wouldn't want to have to tie you to your bed," she says with a big smile.

Oh. "Well, in that case, I might be forced to raise a protest."

"You can _raise_ anything you want. You will still be staying home tomorrow," she winks.

She takes Annika, who has finished her bottle and fallen asleep in my arms.

"Drink your tea," she says, getting up.

She brings Annika upstairs to bed and I sip my tea. Mmm, peppermint. Very sweet. The warm liquid is making me sleepy and the next thing I know Sookie has her hand under my head guiding me down to lie on the couch. She sits back against my stomach and puts her hand on my head and I fall asleep to the feel of her running her fingers through my hair. I fall in and out of consciousness as Sookie moves around and changes the tv channel. Her presence is comforting and I don't want her to leave.

I feel her sit next to me again and I open my eyes. Her hand on my cheek feels so cold and I realize my fever is back. Her words confirm my thoughts and she looks at me with concern.

"Eric, you need to eat something. I'm afraid to give you more Motrin on an empty stomach but your fever is back and you need some."

She gets up and I reach my hand out to her because I want her next to me.

"I'm just getting the thermometer upstairs. I'll be right back," she smiles.

I wait for her and when I feel her cool hands smooth down my face, I realize that I fell back to sleep. She takes my temperature and murmurs in disapproval at the number she reads. Her brow furrows.

"It's higher than before, Eric. We need to get some fluids in you." She walks into the kitchen and comes back with a glass of water and a bowl. "You have ice cream. Will you eat that? And here's some water. Drink it all."

I don't want it but she puts the glass in my hand and pushes it up to my mouth. I sip it and the cold water burns a trail down my body to my stomach. I pull my head back. I don't want it.

"Come on, Eric. Drink it, honey. You'll feel better," she coaxes.

"Just let me sleep," I mumble to her.

"No, you need some fluids at least. You don't need the ice cream but you'll have to drink something."

No, I just need to sleep. I shake my head.

"How about something warmer? Soup?" she asks. "You can finish your tea. It's room temperature now," she says, picking up my cup.

"Okay. The tea," I say and she pushes it to my lips. I gulp it quickly because I want to lay my head back down.

"Let me get you some Motrin. I'm going to give you three because you're big and that will hopefully get you through the night."

I hear the rattle of the pills in the bottle and then she puts her hand under my neck and pushes me up. She slips into the space between me and the couch and let's me go and I lean back against her feeling her cool soft body behind my shoulders and head. I open my eyes when I feel her press something to my lips. The medicine. I open my mouth and she puts a pill on my tongue and I taste her fingers and once again I want more of her. Twice more, her fingers graze my tongue and then she brings cool water to my mouth and I swallow, washing away the taste of her.

She leans over me to put the glass on the little table and her breasts hover over my face and I want to raise my head to feel them but instead I close my eyes. She sits back and her fingertips play over my face, caressing and stroking so lightly I think that maybe I'm just dreaming because I want to feel her so badly. I open my eyes and her smile makes my chest ache and I don't know why. I'm too tired to figure it out so I just close my eyes and sigh and struggle to stay awake so I can feel her touch some more. But I can't and I drift to sleep with my angel under me and over me and all around and this is where I want to stay forever.

When I wake up again it's dark and quiet and I'm alone and cold. So cold and my Sookie is nowhere near me. I start to sit up and then I hear her voice, and it soothes me from across the room.

"Eric," she says, "Wait. I'm coming."

I do as she says and wait and she walks towards me in a nightgown that looks like a long men's shirt and I have never seen anything more sexy in my entire life. It's deep blue and silky and I wonder what she has on underneath it. I want to touch it and feel it slide up her body as I expose her to my greedy eyes.

"Eric," she says and I realize that she's standing right in front of me and reluctantly bring my eyes up from her legs.

"You're beautiful," I tell her and she just smiles.

"You're sweaty again. Let's get you in the shower. Do you think you can stand through a shower?"

"Maybe you should help me," I say with a smile, my strength renewed by the force of my desire for her. "I'll lean on you and you can keep me up."

"You don't need my help with that," she says, looking down at my body.

I'm still in my underwear, I realize as I follow her gaze. And though I normally wear underwear around the house, I'm sure Sookie is not used to it.

She turns to walk away saying, "Come on. Let's go upstairs."

She turns back around quickly when I try to stand but fall back, my head spinning again.

"Eric!" she says, her voice ringing out in the quiet room.

"I'm fine," I manage to say as my heart pounds in my chest, "Just dizzy." I rest my head against my hands and take deep breaths and Sookie sits down next to me.

"You're dehydrated. You drank a bunch of coffee today and not much else and with the fever and the sweating that's not good. Did you eat lunch?"

I shake my head slightly.

"Oh, Eric," she says gently, "You haven't eaten all day. That's fine but you need to drink, especially when you have a fever."

"I will," I say and she hands me my half filled glass of water. I drink it down and it's not so bad now that I'm not so hot and it's not so cold.

She takes my glass and goes into the kitchen to refill it. She brings it back filled with iced tea and it's good and sweet so I drink it too.

"Good," she says, "That will make you feel better but I don't think you should shower. Do you want a bath or do you just want to go to bed?"

I don't want Sookie to have to take care of me anymore, she must be tired, but I do want to wash the sweat from my body. "I want to take a bath but I can do it by myself," I say getting up, except instead of standing steadily, I stumble into Sookie and she puts her arms around me to stabilize me.

"I'll help you," she says and once again we walk together up the stairs. As we walk into my bathroom, I wonder how much she wants to help me. Surely she won't want to completely undress me, though I wouldn't mind. She'll probably just turn on the water and leave me to do the rest.

I sit and watch her bend over to turn on the faucet. She adjusts the temperature and tells me she is making it slightly cooler than normal because of my fever.

"It might not feel that nice but I don't want you to overheat. Sorry," she smiles.

She turns and walks up to me where I'm sitting on the closed lid of the toilet. She puts her hands on the hem of my shirt and lifts it up and I put my arms up like an obedient child. She slips it over my head and puts it down and then she smoothes her hands down the middle of my back and bends her head to kiss my hair. I sigh against her satiny breasts and put my hands on her waist. The feel of her silky nightgown slipping over her soft skin is enough to make me breathe harder. But then she moves away and turns off the tap and tells me to get in and she will be back.

When she's gone I take off my underwear and step into the water. It's much cooler than I'm used to and I almost want to say forget it and not sit down. But I sit because Sookie drew this bath and she will be back in soon. My back arches when my center hits the water and I suddenly understand Annika's reluctance to sit down last night when I tried to bathe her. This shit is cold!

When Sookie comes back in, I try to school my features so she doesn't see how uncomfortable I am, both with her proximity to my naked body and because of the water temperature. She must notice my grimace though, because as she kneels next to the tub, she rubs my shoulder briefly and apologizes for the water.

"It's okay, I'll just make it quick," I say as I lather soap and wash myself, but I want to pull her in with me because her heat will surely warm me up.

"Can I wash your hair?" she says to me and I notice that she is dutifully keeping her eyes on my face and they have not wandered once down my body. She certainly has more willpower than me. If she was naked in the bath, my eyes would be roaming over every inch of her body. But she wants to touch me, however innocently, and that makes me happy.

I hand her the shampoo and tip my head back as she cups her hand and pours water over my hair. She lathers shampoo through my hair, her fingernails lightly grazing my scalp and sending shivers down my neck and body.

"Are you cold?" she asks.

"It feels good," I sigh and she laughs. She reaches up to grab the hand shower and turns on the water to rinse my hair.

"Warmer!" I plead as I arch away from the cold water, "Make it warmer."

"Sorry," she says, adjusting the water until it comes out warm.

"Thank you." I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of her hand and the warm water massaging my head.

She pulls the drain to let the water out as she rinses my back with the hand shower. She keeps rinsing as if in a daze, letting the warm water run down my neck and shoulders, over my chest and stomach, and I can't help wishing it was her hands making me warm instead of the water. As the water level gets lower and lower in the bathtub, she seems to come back to herself and jumps up to shut off the shower head. I was wondering what she would do when my dick was no longer underwater. Though I'm flaccid, sitting in cold water will do that to a guy.

She grabs my towel off the bar and holds it in one hand while she reaches the other hand under my arm to help me up. I have a big claw foot tub so it's hard to get out of on the best of days and I'm grateful for her steadying hand. Though if I did fall, I'm not sure what good her small body would do. And to tell the truth, I'm kind of embarrassed to be standing before her wet, naked and soft. I feel like a child because I need so much help and she's not looking at me like a man. I take my towel and wrap it around my waist as soon as I'm out of the tub.

"Thanks for the help," I say, expecting her to leave the room so I can get dressed.

She looks up at me. "Oh. Of course," she smiles as she walks out, closing the door behind her.

I dry myself when she's gone, feeling a little dizzy when I bend down. I brush my teeth and then wrap the towel back around my waist because I don't know where Sookie is. But when I walk back into my bedroom, she is not there. I get dressed- with pants this time- and sit down on my bed, wondering if I should go ask Sookie to sleep in my bed tonight like I so desperately want.

I sit for several minutes and just when I get up the nerve to go find her, she knocks on my door.

"Knock, knock," she says as her hand taps lightly, "Just want to see if you need anything before I go to sleep."

I smile because we've done this before. "You," I say once again and she walks closer. "Will you sleep with me, Sookie?" I ask, sounding more needy than I had intended.

She's quiet for a moment longer than my fragile ego can allow and I'm about to tell her to forget I asked but she smiles brightly at me and nods her head. Relief floods me.

"Sure," she says, "But I get the outside because I want to be able to get to Annika if she wakes, without having to climb over you."

"Deal," I say with what I'm sure is a ridiculous smile on my face. I climb into bed and lie down and watch while Sookie climbs in next to me. I pull her over to me and push my face into her hair and for the first time in a very long time I fall right to sleep and sleep until the morning sun wakes me.

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**Thanks for reading! Sookie is an angel, right? Would you jump on a naked wet Viking? I would!**


	16. Chapter 16

**So, it's probably obvious by now that many of Eric's issues stem from his childhood. In this chapter, more of his story comes out so if you are sensitive to the topic of child abuse, mostly verbal with a brief mention of physical, then please skip the part surrounded by Xs. I don't go into great detail but it's enough to be triggering I think. I will give a very brief synopsis of what he said at the end in the author's note in case you do skip it when Eric tells it in the story. **

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SOOKIE

Eric is asleep next to me with his face in my hair and I'm freaking the fuck out! I'm still tingling from being so close to his gorgeous naked body in the bath and his breath on my neck is not helping me calm down. Neither is his intoxicating scent clinging to the pillow under my head. He's oblivious to the world and to my frustration. He was very good and didn't try anything with me and I wonder if he has that much willpower or if he's just that sick. All I know is he'd better get well soon because I can no longer be around him and his tiny underwear without serious fantasies of ripping them off and falling to my knees in front of him.

I've seen men in boxer briefs, but his seem very much tighter and quite a bit smaller than any I've seen before. Maybe because he's so tall but they barely cover anything and I can see the outline of his manhood clearly through the fabric. It took all my willpower to only look briefly and not let my eyes linger when he walked down the stairs this evening. Then I had to spend all evening with him in his underwear, trying not to stare and drool like Homer Simpson.

And his thighs! Goddamn his freaking thighs! Thank god he put on pants before he went to bed or who knows what I'd be doing right now. As it is, I don't know how I'm going to fall asleep next to him. Of course he's wearing a tank top and his arms are so beautiful and right within my reach. Would he wake up if I just ran my hands up and down his arms? What about if I sat between his legs and stroked his thighs and anything else that happened to be within reach? He'd probably wake up and unfortunately we are not at the point in our relationship where I can, in good conscience, touch him intimately without his express permission. In other words, no grabby hands while he sleeps.

Though, speaking of grabby hands...I think he really likes my nightgown. He couldn't take his eyes off it and I know he wanted to lift it up when I was running his bath. There is no way in hell I would have chosen to wear this but that's what I get for having Amelia bring me my things. I'm going to kill her later! She brought me the silky gown I'm wearing and another pajama set with tiny shorts and a tank. Both, she must have searched my drawer for because I haven't worn either in a very long time. That freaking girl! I'm sure she's hoping I'm getting some action tonight. Too bad Eric is sick and we're taking this slow. And taking it slow is hard when I'm in the proximity of a gorgeous half dressed man all day.

When I was in his bed earlier, he was definitely aroused and I almost couldn't hold back from grabbing what I could clearly see through his little underwear. If he had moved more, I don't think they would have been enough to contain him. The term 'trouser snake' came to mind. Yeah, it definitely applies...Well, more like underwear anaconda in his case.

I caressed his face and down his chest and wanted to let my hand continue down his body but I stopped myself. I scooted close to him so that I wouldn't have to look at what I couldn't have. I know he wants me, his body doesn't lie, but I don't want to take advantage of him when he's sick and might not be thinking straight. He needs a clear mind to give his full consent for anything we might do.

And we still need to have the uber embarrassing sex talk. You know- are you clean, do you get yourself tested regularly, are you on birth control- those lovely questions. I, of course, got myself tested religiously after cheating bastard and again after I briefly dated another guy. I say briefly dated, but it was like a date and some lackluster sex. I was feeling lonely and reckless but we did use a condom. So, I'm clean and given Eric's past, I assume he is but we still need to talk about it. Ugh.

My willpower, or lack thereof, was the cause for my hesitation when he asked me to sleep with him. He was almost begging and I could tell by the look on his face that I hesitated a bit too long but when I said yes, he was so happy. His smile is one of the best things in my life right now. I live to see his beautiful smile light up his face and I will do everything I can to keep him smiling.

As I lay here next to him, I have this strange peaceful feeling that almost seems dreamlike. I suddenly have this urge to put my hands on him. Like I need to touch him to make sure he's real. I turn onto my side so that I'm facing him. His face is literally inches from mine and I kiss his temple and then run my hand down his arm from his shoulder to his elbow. He makes a little happy noise and I see goosebumps form and look to his face but he's still asleep. I'm a little too happy that he reacts to my touch even in his sleep. I can't wait until I can touch him in more sensitive places. I continue to run light fingers over his bare shoulder and bicep, marveling at the softness of his skin. Right before I drift to sleep I reach down and pull his hand up between our bodies. I intertwine our fingers and even though he is still asleep, he squeezes my hand in his. I fall asleep holding hands with this beautiful man who is also my boss which is all kinds of weird and perfect. I would not have been able to imagine it when I first met Eric Northman.

I wake up to Annika's cries from across the hall and look to see what time it is. Four o'clock. Well, she made it a good chunk of time before waking. She's probably hungry since she has had no solid food all day. I reluctantly get out of Eric's warm bed and pad down the hall to get the baby. I have a weird flash forward of me doing this for my own child someday. I go in to pick up Annika and she's standing up, which is a good sign. I kiss her forehead and she doesn't feel hot, which is also good. Maybe this is just a short lived virus, and Eric will feel better tomorrow night. I hope so.

"Are you hungry, sweet girl?" I ask her.

We go downstairs and I make her a bottle and bring it back upstairs to feed her. As I sit and rock her in the quiet of the early morning, I think how much I love this little family that was dropped in my lap just two weeks ago. I know two weeks is not long to get attached like I am but we have spent so much time together that it feels like much longer. And I don't love Eric yet but I can see myself falling and it won't take long before I am completely head over heels for him. Not to mention little Annika. She is the sweetest baby I have ever taken care of. Always full of smiles and so affectionate. I'm going to miss her all day when I go back to school.

Speaking of going back to school, I have been meaning to talk to Eric about a new nanny. I want to help him pick one. I know he's busy and could use help interviewing and I want to make sure that Annika gets the best possible care. Thinking of another woman in Eric's house all day makes me a little jealous but that has nothing to do with why I want to help with hiring. If I keep telling myself that maybe I'll start to believe it!

Annika falls asleep after drinking half the bottle and goes back to her bed easily which is good because I'm exhausted. As I approach Eric, I see that he has rolled onto my part of the bed and his arm is extended as if he was searching for me in his sleep. Since I doubt Annika will wake again, I climb over him carefully and lay down behind him on the bed. After a few seconds of missing his touch, I scoot my body up to his and spoon him from behind. I put my arm over his torso and kiss the back of his neck enjoying how responsive he is when he shivers and sighs in his sleep.

The next morning, I wake up before either Northman so I take the opportunity to make a quick trip to the grocery store down the street. I get some breakfast foods and some pasta and things to make soup. Hopefully Eric's appetite will be back today.

When I get back, I find Eric still in bed but he has Annika sleeping next to him. I can't help but stand and stare at them both for a minute. They are so lovely together like this.

Eric turns around, startling me. I thought he was asleep. He reaches his hand back to me and I walk over and let him put his hand on my waist.

"Where did you go?" he asks.

"Grocery store. I wanted to get some stuff to make today. You hungry? I could make you some breakfast."

"I am hungry. Let me help you," he says starting to get up.

"No, stay here, Eric. You don't need to help me. Lie down with Annika. It's ok. Do you want scrambled eggs and toast? How about bacon?"

"I'm easy, Sookie. I eat everything," he says with a smile and I can't tell if his words are an innuendo. Given how many other times he has made some sort of innuendo, I will guess they are.

I smile and tell him I'll come get him when breakfast is ready. By the time I finish cooking, I can hear them moving around upstairs so I make Eric a plate and go up to tell him it's ready. He's in Annika's room getting her dressed. He's speaking to her softly in Swedish which makes me smile.

"You know, I'm surprised she always matches," I joke.

He smiles. "I only buy outfits that come together and I don't mix anything up. It pays to be organized. In case you couldn't tell yet, I'm a little uptight," he laughs.

I walk up and hug him from behind and I can feel his chest rumble through his back. "Let me dress her. Your food's on the table," I tell him.

"Are you coming to eat with me?"

"I am, I'll be right there. How do you feel?"

"Better. Not 100 percent but a lot better."

"Not dizzy?"

"Just a little."

"Ok, go eat. I'll get the thermometer to see if your fever is gone. Annika feels fine but I'll check her too."

"Thank you Sookie," he says, looking at me with such sincerity it embarrasses me.

"It's nothing," I say.

"No, it's not nothing," he says, taking my hand and kissing it, "I really appreciate everything you've done for us." His eyes are so full of feeling that I have to look away. He is so intense. He calls it uptight but he just has this intensity about him that is sometimes scary and sometimes incredibly alluring.

"You're welcome, Eric. I'm happy to do it," I say. Then to break the ardency of the moment I say, "Come on, let's eat." Annika is dressed by now so we walk down together.

I sit Annika in her chair and swipe the thermometer across her forehead. She is almost normal and she has not had medicine since last night. So hopefully she is well on her way to better.

Next I turn to Eric. Before I can take his temperature, he circles my waist with his hands and pulls me towards him. I step between his legs and he wraps his arms around me and gives me a big squeeze, resting his head on my stomach just below my breasts. He hugs me silently and takes deep breaths. I can see his back moving with each one and I rub my palms up and down it.

"Sookie," he says, but that's all and I don't think he will say anymore. He's just happy to be in my arms.

As I step back from Eric to take his temperature, he releases me with a sigh.

"What is it?" he asks.

"You're at 101, which is down from yesterday so you don't need Motrin unless you feel bad. How's your head?"

"I'm good, Sookie, sit down and eat. You must be tired."

I make myself a plate and get some oatmeal and fruit for Annika and sit down next to Eric. He gives me an adorable little smile because I didn't sit across from him.

"This is great!" he says, "I like eating together."

"Yeah it's nice," I say. I like how Eric tells me how he feels when he's happy. If only he could do that when he's upset.

As I start to feed Annika, who seems to have her appetite back, I tell Eric that I would like to help him with the hiring of the new nanny and that maybe we could set up interviews next week. He looks visibly shaken and not at all happy.

"Do you not want my help?" I ask. I thought he would be grateful because he's busy but maybe not.

"No, it's not that...," he says and he looks at me with so much sadness in his eyes, "I'm going to miss you. I like you in my house. I like you taking care of my Anni. I just..."

I break in because he doesn't seem to know what to say and I want to reassure him that I'm not going anywhere even when I'm not Annika's nanny. "Eric, I'll still be around, just not everyday. And besides, if we want to do the dating thing, it's better if I don't work for you..because that's just weird!" I laugh. He looks relieved and much happier.

"You want to date, right?" I ask. "Yes!" he says, and then seems embarrassed by his eagerness. "Yes, I do."

"Well, good. So do I."

"I haven't dated in a really long time, Sookie. I don't know if I'm any good at it." There's his self deprecating look again. He never thinks he's good enough.

I grab his hand and squeeze. "Neither have I, Eric. We'll both be learning. It will be fun!" I say to reassure him. His look lightens a little and he squeezes my hand back.

"So, about the new nanny you need... I thought you could ask the agency to send a few for interviews and I could help with that and then whoever we pick could come next week for a few days so Annika gets used to her."

"That's brilliant!" he says, beaming.

"Good! We can call later today. You can make sure they send someone who is laid back with flexible hours. If we find the right one, you might be able to keep her until Annika goes to school."

"Oh, god! Don't say that! She will never be that big!" he says with playful alarm. He looks over at Annika and smiles.

I smile at him. He's adorable! Always so adorable. "Oh, it won't be for a very long time. Don't worry," I say, "But it would be nice for her to have a nanny for that long, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, because we've been through a lot of nannies."

"I know..."

"You do? Did I tell you that?"

"No, I saw the notebook and it has like three different writing styles in it." I smile.

"Oh." He looks kind of upset. I'm sure he would have liked a consistent person taking care of his daughter.

"That's why we need to get someone who's laid back."

"Like you," he says smiling.

"I suppose... I don't know if I'm laid back."

He looks at me in surprise. "Sookie, nothing I've ever done ruffles you. I was ready to yell at you and you grabbed my hand, I told you a sad story about my ex and you told me a matching story, I was freaking out about getting snowed in and you told me to look at the snow falling, I was sick and half-naked and you took care of me like a kind nurse. You are so different than anybody else I know."

"Is that a good thing?"

"That's definitely a good thing," he says, giving me that look again. That look that sends my heart to my stomach and my lungs into overdrive.

It's too intense for breakfast so I look down at my plate and continue eating. I look at his plate and he still has half his food left. He sees me looking and shrugs.

"Not that hungry I guess."

"Than you must still be sick. Why don't you go lie down and watch some tv. I'll clean up."

"Are you sure?" He looks conflicted. I like how he's always willing to help. I guess he's just used to getting the job done. He's usually the only one around to do it.

"I'm sure, honey. Go lay down. Finish your juice first."

"Yes, ma'am," he says before downing his glass of orange juice.

"I could get used to that," I say with a wink.

He just smiles as he kisses Annika's head and walks into the living room.

"Da da," she says after him. He turns and says something in Swedish to her before he lies down on the couch and turns on the tv.

I clean her up first because she keeps looking at Eric and I think she'd like to go see him. I walk over with her and he reaches for her, sitting her on his chest so he can talk to her. I love how sweet he is with her. He is always happy to be with her and he never seems frustrated at her.

"She's lucky to have you, Eric," I tell him tenderly.

He looks up at me and I can tell my words don't sink in, he doesn't believe me. "No, I'm the lucky one," he says.

As I'm walking back to the dining room I say over my shoulder, "And not half, Eric."

"Huh?" he says, obviously confused.

"Naked," I say, "Not _half_- naked. You were _naked_ naked. That was hard to resist."

After a second of stunned silence, he says, laughing, "For me too!"

We spend the rest of the morning watching tv and playing with Annika. Eric needs a nap before his baby so I tell him to go upstairs to bed. When he's gone, she just keeps saying "Da da," and pointing at the stairs because she knows he is up there. She's not used to being without him if he's home so I gather some of her soft toys and we join Eric on his bed. He doesn't wake up when we climb on and Annika plays surprisingly quietly as if she knows her daddy is asleep.

The next thing I know, I wake up to find Eric staring silently down at me. He is spooned behind me with his head on his raised palm and Annika is sleeping in front of me on the bed. We must have fallen asleep together. He kisses my cheek when he sees me wake up.

"I woke up to find that I was joined in bed by you two beauties," he says smiling, "It made me really happy."

"I didn't mean to fall asleep. We came up here because Annika missed you. I'm glad it made you happy, though."

We lie together, all three of us, and it makes me happy too. When Annika wakes up we go downstairs and I make lunch, which Eric eats but still not as much as he usually does. Annika's appetite is back to normal, though.

We call the nanny agency and they say they will get back to him with the information for a few nannies that will fit.

I make chicken noodle soup for dinner and Eric lets Annika have some of the broth and soft veggies. She eats them like a champ as he looks on nervously. By the time she's finished, he's beaming like the proud father he is and I can't help but smile at them both.

After dinner, Eric looks a little melancholy but he doesn't say anything and I'm really not sure why there is such a shift in his mood.

"I'm going to bathe her, Eric, unless you want to," I say. I know he likes to do it but I don't know if he's up to it now.

"I'll come and sit with you," he says.

As I'm bathing Annika and getting her ready for bed, Eric watches almost silently. The look on his face is hard to interpret so I'm not sure what's going through his mind. Sometimes he's smiling but other times his face is blank. But his eyes almost always tell me what the rest of his face or his voice will not. In this case, I just don't know. His eyes are changing too much as if he's thinking rapidly. Maybe he, himself, doesn't know how he's feeling.

After Annika has her bottle and is in bed, I drag Eric to the couch to sit down with me. Well, not literally obviously, he's way too big.

"Do you want to tell me what's had you silently brooding for the last hour?" I ask him gently.

He looks startled but he says, "Nothing. It's nothing."

"It's not nothing," I say mimicking his words to me this morning. There is definitely something going on with him. "Why do you keep things inside like this, Eric? I'm here to listen. I want you to talk to me."

He looks down and just breathes for a long time and like before, just when I think he will remain silent, he looks at me and starts talking.

"It's hard for me to be open, Sookie. It was a lesson I learned from my father: don't show your emotions, keep your guard up, stay in control. It's probably the only thing he taught me."

Oh. I don't know what to say. I repeat what I told him earlier, hoping he will. "Talk to me," I say in a quiet voice, looking into his eyes.

He takes a deep breath and visibly steels himself and I'm nervous for him because I think he's about to delve into something painful.

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"My father was a Swedish expat who happened to meet the Swedish girl of his dreams in America. They got married right away and things were fine for a while. Then he started traveling all the time and since he was gone so often, my mom decided to move back to Sweden. They were still married then but they eventually got divorced. I hardly ever saw my father but anytime I did, he never failed to make it clear how much of a disappointment I was to him. Nothing I ever did was good enough. Me or my brother. I don't even know why! He should never have had kids. He didn't seem to like anything about us. He didn't physically hurt us but his words were bad enough. He called me names and he yelled. He _always_ yelled. He hated that I was sensitive, he made fun of me, so I stopped being sensitive because I thought he would love me then. I was seven when I decided I wasn't going to cry anymore and I hated myself whenever I couldn't stop my tears."

Here, he pauses and maybe he doesn't want to cry but I do. The thought of this little seven year old full of self-hatred makes my heart lurch and my stomach tighten in grief. I reach for him but he pulls away.

"Don't," he says softly. He looks up at me with glassy eyes and I can tell he is making a monumental effort to remain in control of his emotions. I think he's afraid he will fall apart if I comfort him. He needs to fall apart, though. Sometimes it takes a break down before you can build yourself back up. He looks back down to the floor and continues.

"When I was about ten, after they divorced, my mother started sending me and my brother to spend summers in America with him. He wasn't traveling anymore by then but he chose to live here. Those summers were hell. I had no friends, my father was gone all the time doing who knows what, and if I did see him he just told me how pathetic I was for missing home. He called me a mama's boy and a pussy."

His voice is getting more and more unstable and I can tell it's taking more and more effort for him to tell this story. I want to comfort him but he doesn't want it. I want to _kill_ his father for making him feel this way. I have never felt murderous towards anyone until Eric told me about the people in his life who were supposed to love him but hurt him instead. His father, Sophie- neither one of them deserved this beautiful person in their lives and they had better not hurt Eric ever again or I will hurt them back. Realizing my mind is wandering, I return my attention to Eric, who is still talking while looking down at the floor.

"I tried to tell my mom that I didn't want to go but she always insisted, telling me it wasn't that bad and that he was my father. Like him being my father excused his sorry ass...Finally the summer I was 14 and Sander was 11, my father actually hit me. He was yelling at Sander and had him backed into a corner and I just had enough. I pulled him back away from Sander and he pushed me against the wall and hit me. I was as big as him by then so I guess he thought he could treat me like a man. I didn't want to hit him back so I just stood there silently which pissed him off. He called me a fjolla...I think it's sissy in English, because I couldn't even stand up to him. He told me he never wanted me and when I cried..."

He stops suddenly and breathes erratically but after a short pause when he seems to be reliving this scene, he is able to continue with a strong voice. It's kind of impressive how he can keep himself together but also incredibly sad now that I know who taught him not to cry.

_Cry_, I want to tell him. _Your dad was wrong! Cry!_...But of course, I don't and he doesn't.

"When I cried," he says again, "Standing there against the wall in his living room, he told me I was no son of his. I took off. I ran. I just ran. I had no idea where I was going. By the time I found my way back to his house I made up my mind that I was never going to see him again. I called my mom and begged her to let us come home, which she did, reluctantly. I never told her everything he did to me but she didn't make me go back."

"Oh, Eric!" I say as I reach for him. He may not want my comfort but it's a mostly unconscious response on my part to the pain I see so clearly on his face.

"I don't need your pity!" he says harshly to me and I'm sure my shock must register on my face. Is he angry with me for being sympathetic to him? Well, he chose the wrong person to tell that story to if he doesn't want me to feel for him. What the heck am I suppose to do here? Change the subject? Pretend he didn't just tell me his asshole father yelled at and berated him until he thought he needed to change himself to gain his love? I don't know how long I sit silently but by the time I realize what's going on, Eric is standing up and I just know he's about to leave the room. His MO in these situations includes either becoming silent, running away, or burying his face in my neck. I'm not sure yet for what reason he does each one but I think he's about to do the running thing now.

But he doesn't run away. He takes a deep breath and then turns around to face me.

"I'm sorry," he says, "I just don't want this to change anything. When I told Sophie about my father, she tiptoed around me for weeks. She acted like I was some scared little boy...and I'm not!" This last part comes out forcefully, angrily.

"Don't worry Eric. We all have messy pasts and some things are uglier than others. My past is not all roses and I understand that you don't want your past to change how people view you in the present. I get it." I look into his eyes as I say this because I want him to see how sincere I am. I feel for him, I do, but that won't change how I feel _about_ him. "Will you tell me the rest of your story?"

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He nods and takes another breath and starts again.

"He died three years ago and that's the last time I saw my mom. She tried to act like he was a good man at his funeral. His eulogy was fucking priceless and full of fucking lies. Mom told me I needed to forgive him and tried to get me to take his money. Oh yeah, he has a ton but I don't want it. His money kept him in my mom's good graces even though he was an asshole. It's all for me apparently, my mom can't touch it, Sander's too messed up to have it, but I don't want a single fucking krona from him.

"I was just so angry, I didn't want anything to do with her after that. I moved right before Annika was born and never gave her my new address. Then I was just so busy with Annika that reconciling with my mom was put on the back burner."

I want him to tell me more about his brother but now is not the time. I also realize that he never told me what he was feeling earlier tonight but I I think he has shared enough. He is recovering still and he's exhausted both physically and emotionally. That was a tough story to hear and even tougher to tell, I'm sure. I want to wrap him up in my arms and hold him for the rest of the night but I'm not sure what he wants. I will take my cues from him.

So far, he hasn't moved. He's just sitting with his head down and his hands clasped. My chest is literally aching to help him so I put my hand tentatively in the middle of his back. He melts, his whole body sags with the weight of his past, his hands unclasp and he falls towards me. He puts his arms around my middle and his face against my shoulder. I slide my hand up his back to rest on his head and turn my face to kiss his hair.

"Do you want to see your mom again?" I ask gently.

There is not even a split second pause before he answers, "Yes," in a whispered voice. I lean back from him and take his face in both my hands to look at him, "Then you can," I say, "You will."

"Why are you so good to me, Sookie?" He has tears in his eyes but they don't fall.

"I like you. You take such good care of Annika. You need someone to take care of you too and I don't know why, but I have had the urge to take care of you since the first time I grabbed your hand when you were so angry. And before you say anything, I know you can take care of yourself but isn't it nice to be looked after by someone else?"

"It's nice to be looked after by you," he says and then he pulls me into his arms again and puts his face in the crook of my neck like he does. I know it makes him feel better and I think it's really sweet so we sit in comfortable silence and just hold each other for a long while.

When we let go of each other I ask if he'd like to go to sleep. It's relatively early but he lost sleep when he was sick.

"Yes, are you staying over?" His face looks so hopeful. I wasn't sure what I would do tonight but I think he still needs my comfort so I will stay.

"Yeah, I'll stay," I say, smiling. He looks so incredibly happy and after seeing him so distressed earlier, I'm glad to see it.

We get ready for bed, me in the hall bathroom and he in his. When I walk back into the room he's already in bed and even though the lights are low, there is no mistaking the desire in his eyes as he looks at me. If looks could...give you an orgasm, dang, I would've had three!

"Sookie, that's really...little," he says gazing at my legs. I'm wearing the tiny shorts outfit that Amelia brought for me. I was ready to kill her when I saw it but now I'm not so sure. I might kiss her since it's getting this reaction from Eric.

"Sorry, my friend thought it would be funny if she brought me skimpy clothes to sleep in."

He smiles. "I like your friend," he says, holding out his hand for mine.

I walk towards him and put my hand in his and he pulls me onto the bed. He puts his arm under me and hugs me to him as he lays on his side. Then all of a sudden he rolls us so that I'm on top of him.

"Hey, now," I say playfully, "No funny business."

He looks at me as he slowly brings his mouth up to mine. His eyes are burning with desire and he whispers, "This isn't funny," right before his lips are on mine.

His lips are tender but insistent and soon his tongue joins them as he slides it across my lip. I open my mouth to his seeking tongue and we both moan as our kiss deepens. This man can kiss. He is a master at it and I find that my hips are moving against his as I drown in pleasure. When he groans, I pull back.

"Eric, I think we should stop," I say panting. He looks at me and I can see the lust clearing in his eyes.

"You're right," he says and his breathing is equally fast. "I'm sorry. You just look so fucking edible. You have no idea what I want to do to you."

My eyes widen at his wicked statement and I can feel my cheeks burning.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Sookie," he says looking like a scolded child.

"No, no," I say, "It's fine. I was just surprised. Nobody's ever talked to me like that...I like it."

"Well, good because it's true. But you'd better get off of me or I might surprise you further," he laughs.

So adorable and yet so debauched. I can't help but smile at him as I climb off of him.

"Goodnight, Eric," I whisper as I turn around and push my body back into his. I can feel his erection but he doesn't press into me.

"Goodnight, Sookie," he whispers back, nuzzling his face in my hair.

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**A/N: this chapter got a lot longer than I intended and I hope you enjoyed it even though this last part was a little heavy. **

**Thank you to all my reviewers and everyone favoriting and following the story! **

**Here is the synopsis of Eric's story : his father was verbally abusive and he and his brother bore the brunt of it. His father didn't like that Eric was a sensitive child. His parents divorced and his father lived in the US. Eric and his brother used to spend summers with him until Eric decided they weren't going to go anymore. He was 14.**


	17. Chapter 17

**So, I had to break up the next bit into two chapters because I wasn't even finished and it was over 8000 words. So if this chapter ends where you don't want it to, keep in mind another chapter will be following shortly. **

**Also, this starts with Sookie again and you will see why. I had to do it this way because I didn't want to leave them at a low point. Thanks for reading! **

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SOOKIE

I wake up Thursday morning on my back, stuck against the wall and halfway under Eric's body. I'm pretty sure he's still asleep. Well, almost. His erection pressing into my hip where his leg is thrown over mine, is most definitely not sleepy. His face is still in my hair, which leaves his neck right by my mouth.

Damn. I want him. He's not sick anymore, right? He'll be getting up for work soon. Before I can talk myself out of it, before I can even really think it through, I turn the top half of my body and kiss his neck softly as I run my hands up and down his torso under his shirt. I can feel the curve of each abdominal muscle, the hard planes of his chest, and his small nipples. I lift his shirt to stroke his warm skin as I kiss his neck and I keep kissing him as he wakes up and looks down at me. His mouth drops open and his brow furrows as if he can't quite figure out what's going on.

I push him to roll onto his back and move to straddle his thighs. "It's okay," I tell him, "I just want to make you feel good."

He looks back and forth between my hands on his bare stomach and my face.

"This isn't a dream?" he whispers. I smile at him. Has there ever been another man as sweet as him?

"So not a dream darlin'. Just relax." I put my hand lightly on his erection, and ask, "Okay?" He nods his head slowly with wide eyes, still disbelieving what's about to happen. I'm feeling a little bit nervous but mostly excited. I want to make this really good for him.

I take my hand off of him to pull down his pants and underwear with one tug. His erection springs out at me and his breath hitches. _Holy_... I was not expecting what I just freed. I was expecting big but not only is his erection huge, it's beautiful, and I don't usually find myself admiring these things. Geez, is everything on his entire body beautiful? His skin is so smooth, so soft but underneath he is not, and when I squeeze him- which he likes judging from the sound that comes out of his mouth- I can feel just how rigid he is. He whimpers and moves his hips and I can tell how much effort it's taking him not to beg for what he wants. He has started muttering in what I assume is Swedish and I wonder if he thinks I understand him. I know that he's becoming impatient with my distracted observation of his hard length, so I start to slowly slide my hand up and down him.

His hips are moving with my hand, his stomach clenched and I suddenly want to lick each line of defined muscle on it. I move to his side and put my hand on his hip to hold him down so that I can control my movement along his shaft. He gives me a pleading look as his hips quiet down so I rub my thumb over him in a way that makes his back arch and his mouth open.

"Ohh, fuu," he says with shuddering breath. He doesn't even finish the word and then he whispers again in Swedish. It's so fucking hot that he can't even think in English he's so out of his mind.

He is alternately arching his back and tightening his stomach as I stroke and the amount of his smooth skin covered by his shirt is getting less and less as he writhes on the bed. The hand that can reach me has not stopped moving lightly over my arm then down my body and back like a circuit. He really wants to touch me. In contrast to his relaxed caresses, his other hand is fisted tightly in the sheet. His mouth is open, his brow furrowed and his breathing is getting louder and louder. He is beautiful and I want him inside me but that will have to wait.

He is hot and throbbing in my hand. I'm stroking him at a quick steady pace but it's purposely just under the threshold that he needs to climax so that when he finally does, it will be that much better for him. I can tell he's equal parts frustrated and elated because he keeps looking from my hand on him, to my face and then his eyes inevitably roll back as his head drops to the pillow.

He makes a needy whimpering noise and so I move faster, twisting as I go. My hand is making a slick sound as it works over his flesh, wet from his arousal. He grunts with every exhale- he's almost there. To help him along, I lean forward and lick his nipple that was just uncovered when he arched his back off the bed. He inhales sharply and his hips jerk. I bite down gently on his other nipple and he opens his eyes, hisses and then growls at me.

Oh god.

"Did you just growl? That is so sexy," I say, looking at his face.

He fixes me with a piercing stare, his eyes dark with lust, and my breath quickens. His hand on my leg tightens, his fingers gripping my thigh firmly.

"Bite me again!" he orders in a very gruff voice, ignoring my question. He's too far gone to answer.

I bite his nipple at the same time I speed up my hand and he climaxes with a shuddering moan, his hips rocketing up off the bed so suddenly I almost can't hang on. He throws his head back and brings both hands up to grip his pillow tightly as he pushes his hips down and his chest up, arching backwards. He pants and grunts and I can feel my body reacting to the sounds of intense pleasure coming from his. The curve of his neck as it arches back into his pillow is so enticing I am tempted to bite down on his Adam's apple or at the very least to lick the entire length of it. I stroke him until his body calms down, his back returns to the bed, and he stops pulsing in my hand. I let him go and run my fingertips lightly down the length of him, pulling a strangled gasping moan from his lips as he curls his body, tightening his stomach. His hands still have a firm hold on his pillow and his entire face and upper torso are flushed red.

"Fuuuuuck," he breathes, drawing out the word for his whole breath.

I look down at him as he slowly comes back to earth and see that he needs me to clean him up before he can move or he will make a mess of the sheets. Good thing he seems incapable of anything beyond the tiny tremors that move through him sporadically. I give him a minute of silence while his breathing slows and I take the time to look at him as he lies with his eyes closed. How did I get so lucky that this gorgeous man is mine to touch and tease and play with? I'm in awe at how perfectly sculpted his body is. I gently kiss his lips and whisper, "That was hot. You are so beautiful," against his mouth.

"It's been a really long time, but I don't think I've ever felt anything so good," he says as he pulls off his shirt. He uses it to wipe his chest and stomach clean and then tosses it onto the floor. I don't know why, but that act of wiping up the evidence of his pleasure is so sexy to me. He pulls up his pants and reaches to pull me onto his chest.

"Come here," he says pulling me towards him. I climb onto his body and lay on his chest. He kisses my forehead. "Thank you," he says softly, "I was not expecting that. That's pretty much the best way in the world to wake up." He laughs and I can feel the rumble in his chest.

"You liked that, huh?" I tease. I'm extremely sure he did. Everything about him is intense, including that orgasm.

"Yes. Oh my god, yes! I would love to return the favor," he says in his sexiest voice.

"Nope," I say, getting up. He looks at me in surprise. "That was for you. I just wanted to make you feel good because you were sad before we went to bed and it was my fault for making you talk to me."

I look at him and am startled to find anger clearly on his face.

"I'm not a fucking charity case, Sookie. I don't need fucking pity sex!" he yells, sitting up. He's across the room and in his locked bathroom before I can think of something to say.

"Eric!" I say frantically as I knock on the door, "Eric, that's not what that was! Not at all! Please come out and talk to me!"

I wait to see if he will come out but when I hear the shower turn on, I know he needs some time to calm down before he will talk to me. I can't believe I messed this up so badly. I can't believe he thinks I only did that because I feel bad for him. Ah, stupid Sookie!

I'm changing Annika when I hear him come out of his room and I hope that he will come find me so we can talk. But as I walk downstairs, I hear Pam knock on the door so I go and let her in. We will have to talk later. I hope he comes home in a better mood.

"Sookie," she says, "Thank you for being so good to him."

I look down because I was not good to him just now. "I messed up, Pam, and he won't talk to me," I say desperately in a quiet voice. She looks at me and I have no idea what she is thinking but Eric comes downstairs, interrupting whatever she would have said to me.

As he puts on his coat, I walk up to him so he can say goodbye to Annika. He looks at me and I can see the anger still on his face but what makes my stomach lurch is the hurt I can see clearly in his eyes. Hurt that I caused with my careless words and it kills me that he will go to work carrying that with him.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper as he kisses Annika but he doesn't acknowledge me and just walks to the door.

Pam looks at me as I gaze longingly at Eric's retreating back and I can't tell if she wants to murder me or him. One of us has incurred her wrath and I hope it's not me. She nods at me and then follows Eric outside, closing the door after herself.

Annika pats my cheek and I look at her smiling face, her face that looks so like her father's. How is she in a consistently good mood when he is so damn moody? How could he think I only made him feel good because I pity him? How could he truly believe that? Does he not know how difficult it's been for me to refrain from touching him sexually when in such close proximity? Does he not see the longing on my face when I gaze at his gorgeous body? I have wanted him for so long. This is not the result I expected. I have to fix this but I don't know how if he won't talk to me.

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ERIC

"Don't run from her, Eric," Pam says as soon as we're both in her car.

"I don't need this from you, Pam," I tell her in a clipped tone that means I do not want to talk about it.

"You do need this from me, Eric because apparently you're too hard headed to understand it for yourself. Sookie really likes you and I know you really like her. Don't do this, Eric. Don't run away when things get hard. You're happiness is worth more than that."

"Pam, let it go. Leave me alone. I'm not a child, I don't need you telling me what to do." Does everyone think I'm a fucking charity project?

"Fine, Eric. Don't fucking listen to me. Maybe you'll realize what you need to do when you stop acting like an asshole."

We drive the rest of the way in silence which just gives me time to go over and over the events of this morning. Her hands on me, holy fuck. That was so fucking good. The thought of that makes me stir again and I fight to control my dick so I don't get hard in the car with Pam. Thinking of my fight with Sookie puts a damper on any sexy thoughts I have and my dick softens. She was so upset when I left without saying anything to her. I _am_ an asshole. Why the fuck can't I just keep myself in check? I always fly off the handle. I should have just talked to her instead of running into the bathroom. I hate that I can't stay calm and rational. I think I usually do better than I did this morning but after that fucking orgasm I wasn't thinking straight. Shit, how the fuck did she make me cum that hard with just a hand job?

We arrive at work so I don't have time to further reflect on our morning. I'm sure I'll be extremely busy today since I was out yesterday.

As I walk through the building everyone and their fucking mother asks me how I'm feeling. What the fuck? Did everyone notice my absence yesterday? Geez, I don't even know half these people and they don't need to know how I feel. Do they want to know that I feel like a fucking prick because I walked away from the woman who has been nothing but good to me since I've known her? How about the fact that she made me feel so fucking good this morning and I stomped all over her good intentions? God, I am such a fuck up. I knew I would fuck this up.

I walk into my office and close the door much harder than I mean to. Shit! I sink into my chair and put my head in my hands. I wouldn't be surprised if Sookie never touches me again. This feeling in my chest is going to fucking kill me. I can't breathe when I think of her face, so hurt because of me.

Pam opens the door slowly and peeks her head in the door. "Eric," she says and then pauses.

"Come in, Pam. I didn't mean to slam the door," I say.

"Right. Well, we have a lot to do today, Eric. Do you want to get started?"

"Yes," I say but I don't mean it. I want to run home to Sookie and grovel at her feet. What would I do if she was done with me now? That thought nearly stops my heart and makes me want to scream. Shit. I need to stop freaking out and get my shit together.

"Eric?" Pam says, looking concerned. I've been silent for too long.

"Yes, let's get started."

One thing after another comes up that needs my immediate undivided attention and I hardly have a second to breathe much less think about the disaster I created this morning.

"How do you know she really likes me?" I ask Pam during a mid-morning lull.

She smirks, "Wouldn't you like to know..." she teases.

"Yes, so spill it, I'm not really in the mood for this," I say seriously. I'm really not in the mood to be fucked with.

"Well, you should have seen how upset she was this morning when you were acting like a little bitch," she says and then she smiles and it makes me smile too. Shit! She knows me too well and I can't stay sullen around her. She always pulls me out of a bad mood.

I smile. "Thanks Pam. I know I fucked up. I know I have to fix it."

"You two are both the same. She told me she messed up."

"I was angry and I overreacted. She really didn't do anything."

"Well, you should tell her that, Eric"

"Yeah," I say.

"So call her, you ass!" she says laughing.

She leaves the room while I dial Sookie's number. I'm as nervous as a teenager calling a crush. When she picks up I say hello and then we both say, "I'm sorry!" at the same time.

She laughs and that sound does so much to soothe the ache that has taken up residence in my chest since our fight.

"I overreacted, Sookie," I tell her, "I'm an asshole. You made me feel so good and I yelled at you and left without talking to you. I am so sorry, Sookie. I will make it up to you. I can be good to you just don't give up on me. Please. I'm so sorry." Ugh, I'm a pathetic mess. What does she see in me?

"Eric! It's okay!" she says loudly, cutting off my rambling words. "It's okay. Calm down. I was thoughtless this morning. I didn't mean for my words to make you think I did that for any other reason than I have been wanting to touch you for so long."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes, Eric. Oh god, yes! And it just keeps getting harder and harder to resist you. In fact, let's have this conversation over the phone because it's easier."

"What conversation?" I ask.

"The sex talk. The _are you clean_ talk. Okay? I can tell you I am clean. I've been with two men and got tested after each one, multiple times after Bill since he cheated. You?"

"I'm clean, Sookie," I say. I don't really want to tell her how many women I've been with but I could guess if she really wanted me to. Thankfully, she doesn't ask.

"Okay, good," she says. "I'm not on birth control, Eric. I mean, I'm not saying we're going to have sex soon but you know, just to be prepared."

She is being really forward about this whole thing which I guess is good. A little scary, maybe. I would use condoms even if she was on birth control to be honest. I don't think Sookie would do what Sophie did but I don't want to raise another child without her mother.

"That's okay. I like to use condoms anyway. I will get some soon. Not that we have to have sex soon..."

"Great! I think we should take things slow, but uh, you and your body really test my willpower," she says with an embarrassed laugh. She has no idea how small the last thread of my self control is.

I laugh along with her, "Yes. I get that," I say.

"Well, I'm sure you're busy so I'll let you go. I'll see you at home, at your home!" She laughs again but it makes me think how much I want it to be her home too. Shit, Northman! Really?

"Um, yeah, Sookie. Okay yeah, I'll see you later. Bye," I say before hanging up. That was completely unsmooth but I'm shocked that I would think about living with her already. What the fuck.

Pam comes back in when she sees I'm off the phone and we resume work again but I can't help noticing Pam sneaking little looks at me. I ignore it as long as I can but it's getting annoying.

"What?" I snap at her.

She smiles broadly. Sometimes she just loves to annoy me to watch me react. "Nothing, Eric. I like Sookie. Did I tell you that?"

"Yes, Pam, you did," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Well, good. Because I do. A lot," she winks and I'm not sure if she means she likes her or she _likes_ her.

"Pam, Sookie is mine!" I say with an edge to my voice. Why is Pam trying to bait me on this?

"Well, good, Eric," she says with a smile, "Make sure you tell her that...and be aware that she is pretty and smart and caring, and _anybody_ who gets her love is a very lucky person."

I look at Pam as it dawns on me what she is trying to do. Yes, I know Sookie is a catch. I know I need to work harder to keep her. I know there are likely many people who would jump at the chance to be with her. Shit.

"I'm doing the best I can Pam," I say with much more desperation in my voice than I'm comfortable with. I'm not comfortable with _any_ desperation, so... yeah.

Sensing my vulnerability, her face softens and she comes over to me to put a hand on my arm. "That's all you can do, Eric. Just don't forget that you want to do your best, even when it's hard."

Pam has two modes around me- friend mode and business mode. It's rare that she slips into friend mode at work but I appreciate it in times like this. I know she's just looking out for me. She knows more about my past than anyone else because, like Sookie, she asks and she keeps asking until I talk.

"Thanks Pam," I say, putting my hand over hers.

She smiles and takes my lunch order and then disappears to run her errands, business mode resumed.

As I eat my lunch, I turn on the camera feed from my house to just watch as Sookie moves around. As soon as I see her, my heartbeat picks up and my stomach does a funny small flip flop thing. What the fuck is that? Fucking butterflies? I have never had butterflies over any woman. Not even Annika's mom who I lived with for two years. Shit! Butterflies!

I sit, just staring at her but not really registering anything I'm seeing. I'm shocked at my reaction to her. And not even her in person. She's on my fucking computer screen!

Seeing her moving around my house makes me think of yesterday when I got to spend the whole day with her. I loved it. It felt like we were a family. When I woke up alone, at first it was like every other morning but then I remembered that I didn't fall asleep alone and I wondered where Sookie was. When Annika cried and Sookie didn't get her, I had a small moment of panic thinking I did something that made Sookie leave in the middle of the night. But as my head cleared and I got up to get Anni, I realized that she wouldn't do that to us. I was so happy to hear her come back, because I guess a small part of me still believed she left me.

When I told her that I appreciated everything she did for us it was the truth. Looking into her eyes then made me want to profess so many things to her but I couldn't have formed my feelings into words if I'd tried. So I just thanked her sincerely and kissed her hand. She worked so hard to take care of us, she made me breakfast that I couldn't even finish. She even wants to help me chose another nanny but I'm never going to find anyone as good as her. At least with her help we can get as close as possible. I hope the agency calls me today with some names so we can set up some interviews. Maybe they can come this weekend and Sookie will come over so I can see her. I can take her and Annika out for lunch or something.

Screen Sookie sits down and grabs the remote to watch some tv. I watch as she looks at the remote for several seconds before she finds the right place to press to turn on the tv. I guess I should show her how to use it. When we were watching tv yesterday morning, Sookie kept absentmindedly stroking my thigh and I was so distracted I couldn't tell you what was on the tv if you paid me. She had no idea what she was doing to me. She was mostly paying attention to Annika and even when she sat on the floor and leaned her head against my knee, it was no better. Just feeling her anywhere on my body makes me want her. Really, just seeing her makes me want her. God bless her fucking friend for packing sexy pajamas for her. That little shorts and tank top outfit was going to kill me. Ugh, so much leg and bare shoulder to look at but not touch. So much torturous skin to not kiss and not stroke. When she turned around and let me spoon her from behind like I've been wanting to do, it took every ounce of willpower not to rub over her round ass and grind myself into her. It took me much longer to get to sleep because I had so much pent up sexual energy. Energy that she helped drain out of me this morning. Shit, now I'm thinking of her hands on me and getting hard at my desk. I'm also thinking of finally putting my hands and lips on her- everywhere.

I distract myself by thinking of all the other happy moments spent with Sookie yesterday. Like waking up from my nap and finding her asleep in front of me and Anni asleep in front of her. I was so happy, happier than I have been in a very long time. Like my heart was going to burst out of my chest happy- good but bordering on painful. I felt that before when I was sick but I can't remember why anymore. I lifted my head to look down on them both as they slept. Both so beautiful, both making me so happy that they are in my life.

Like a family. With one member who is leaving soon. I know she will still be around but she won't be in my house everyday and she won't be taking care of my baby. Someone else will. But I want her, not some stranger. As the night went on yesterday, I got more and more upset that she was going back to school soon. I kept watching everything she did for me and Annika and I just couldn't help thinking that this is what I want and what I don't have. A complete family- a mom for my baby. She's going to grow up missing out on what she so deserves and I hate that. Annika needs a mother and I need a partner. But is that Sookie? Is it stupid that I want it to be?

I know I've only known her for two weeks but I can no longer imagine my life without her. Without her beautiful bright smile or her sweet smelling skin, without her kind eyes and comforting hands. I love how sweet she is, how she listens to me, and how she wants to hear about me.

I was so nervous to tell her about my father. I really don't want it to change how she sees me. I don't want her to think about me being a sad little boy. That was a long time ago and I know I have a hard time with feelings because of it but I'm doing fine and I don't want to be pitied. It is nice to be looked after by her as long as she understands that I can take care of myself. I'm not weak.

On my computer screen, I watch as Sookie leans her head back on the couch and closes her eyes. She must be exhausted after taking care of us for two days straight. What can I do for her to show her how much I appreciate her? Flowers? That's good but it doesn't seem like enough. I wonder if she would like a spa day. Maybe I'll ask Pam for a recommendation and get Sookie a spa gift certificate. That way she can relax and let someone else take care of her...hopefully a woman!

After lunch, I get right back into my work because there really is a shit ton to do. I hardly have a break until almost seven o'clock, when I realize I feel like absolute shit and need to go home. Still not back to 100 percent, I guess. On my drive home, I stop at a florist to pick up a bunch of colorful wild flowers for Sookie. They are bright like her sunny smile and they smell sweet like her. I have the spa certificate that Pam got for me in an envelope and I'm way too excited about giving them to Sookie.

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**A/N: So, I'm sorry to stop them here because I've already written most of the rest of their evening and I'm excited for you to read it! Good news is, it's almost finished so I can post it soon but it just got too long, like I said. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sookie finally just couldn't resist that big Viking any longer! **

**You also get to hear some of Eric's inner thoughts about Sookie. I think it's clear to everyone but him that he is in love with Sookie. And that he needs her, though he won't admit that because he does not want to be seen as weak or pitiful- hence his freak out about "pity sex." He vacillates between thinking he screws everything up and doesn't deserve her to asking her not to give up on him. He has obvious abandonment issues which is why he panics thinking that Sookie left in the middle of the night but he is really trying his hardest to be the best man he knows how. He's doing ok, right?**

**Hope you liked it! Let me know...**


	18. Chapter 18

**So I debated posting this but I would like to say that if you are reading this story and you have some constructive criticism, please leave it in a review. I welcome it. But what I can do without are rude anonymous reviews that don't have anything constructive to say. Insinuating crudely that Eric is acting like a woman? Really, if that isn't ironic, given what this character's father said to him for his whole childhood, then I don't know what is. The fact that boys and men get the message that their vulnerability or tears makes them too much like a woman to be accepted as a man, is very sad to me. Men- all men- can cry, be scared, feel inadequate, etc and their "manhood" should not be questioned. Sorry for the rant but I'm raising two boys who I hope will be accepted for themselves, however sensitive or not. **

**Anyway, on to the story! :) **

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Still ERIC :)

Sookie is just cleaning Annika up from her dinner when I come in. As soon as she sees me she gives me a bright smile that widens when she sees the flowers in my hand. I hold my hand out and she steps closer to me.

"Are those for me?" she says with a nervous smile. "Yes, they remind me of you, though you are much more sweet," I say. Really, Northman? Ugh, sappy.

She takes the flowers and sets them on the table and then reaches up to the back of my neck, pulling my head down to hers. She presses her lips to mine briefly and then backs off and I fight off the urge to pull her back to my mouth. I want to taste her some more.

"Thank you," she says sweetly.

"I just...Can I...?" I say stepping towards her again. She looks up at me, confused because I really didn't say anything. I pull her into my arms and push my face into her neck. I just need to breathe her in for a minute. I just need to feel her in my arms and against my face. It was a long day without her. I just need to feel her. She lets me hold her and she brings one hand up to my hair, running her fingers through it and making me shiver. I love this feeling. This...peace that I only feel when she's so close to me. When the warmth and scent of her soft skin is all I can sense. I wish I could live here against her skin. But since I can't, I reluctantly back away from her.

"Sookie, I'm so sorry again for this morning. I messed up so badly and I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to touch me again but I'm so happy that you're not mad at me. You're not– right?" I ask, suddenly panicked that she still might be.

"Eric, relax. I'm not mad and I definitely want to touch you again," she says with a blush.

I blow out the breath that got stuck in my lungs. "Good. Good," I say like an idiot because I can't think of anything better to say at the moment.

She just smiles at me and turns to finish with Annika.

"Anyway, so I wanted to say I'm sorry but also thank you because you helped us so much the past couple of days. I don't know what I would've done without you. So I got you this...to say thank you. So...thank you," I say, handing her the envelope. Goddamn, why am I so nervous?

I take Annika from her so she can open it. While she does, I kiss my baby girl and make her laugh.

"Hur mår du, min lilla docka? Jag älskar dig så mycket," I say to Annika.

Sookie looks up and gives us a smile. She looks down to read the paper in the envelope and gasps. "Oh, Eric!" she says, "You didn't have to do this! This is way too much!"

"Sookie, you didn't have to stay and take care of us like you did either. And I appreciate it so I wanted to do something nice for you. Pam knows the owner of this spa and she says it's the best on Newbury Street so you will like it I hope. And you can choose anything you want. Just please, spend the day there and relax. Let them take care of you like you took care of us."

There is purposely no dollar amount on the certificate. She can simply choose whatever services she wants but I hope she will treat herself because she deserves it.

"Eric, you are the best," she says, throwing her arms around my waist and hugging me tightly. I hug her back with my free arm. I am debating about asking her to stay and eat dinner with me after I put Annika to bed but she's probably anxious to get home since she hasn't been there in a while.

"What, Eric?" she says looking at my face. Why does she always know when I'm thinking?

"Um, nothing really. Just thinking that you probably want to go home now," I say with a sheepish smile. I feel so guilty that I want her to stay with me. She has her own life.

"Are you kicking me out? Sick of me already?" she says playfully.

"God, no! I don't ever want you to leave," I say and then immediately cringe. Ooh, that was creepy. A little too needy, Northman. Way to go.

But of course, because she's Sookie, she is not creeped out. She beams a radiant smile at me and her smile triggers mine. We just stand smiling at each other like a couple of loons until we both seem to realize it at the same time and turn away from each other.

I need to get Annika in the bath and to bed but I wonder if she would stay until after that. Cant hurt to ask right? I turn towards her at the same time she looks up at me and we both speak at once.

"Want to stay until she's in bed?" I ask.

And she says, "I could stay until she's asleep."

We smile at each other and I motion for her to talk first.

"Yes," she says, "I would love to stay. Are you hungry? I can make us something while you put her to bed."

"You don't have to. We could order something," I say. I love her cooking but I don't want her to feel obligated.

"Sure, what do you want?"

"Like I said before, I'm easy. Get whatever you want. Menus by the phone," I point. "Here," I say, handing her some money.

She takes it reluctantly. "Okay, thanks," she says, walking over to the menus.

"Vill du ta ett bad, prinsessa?" I ask Annika as we walk upstairs.

I bring Anni into my room and set her on the floor with her hands on the bed so I can change my clothes. As I change, she uses the bed to help her walk around closer to me. She's getting so big; I bet she'll be walking soon. She smiles up at me and I smile down at her. It's still amazing to me, how much I love her. As soon as I change my clothes and toss my work clothes along with the t-shirt on the floor into the hamper, I scoop her up and head to the bathtub.

I bathe and dress Annika and head downstairs with her to get a bottle. Sookie hands it to me, warmed and everything, before I even say anything. How is she so perfect?

"Thank you," I say, "I'll be down soon." I feel bad that she's hanging out alone but I like my time with Annika.

"Don't worry about me one bit," she says, "Take your time. She's worth it."

Yes, she is...and so is Sookie. I smile at her and go back upstairs to put Anni to bed.

When Anni is asleep, I go downstairs and notice a pizza on the table along with a salad. I smile because whenever I order pizza, I never get salad with it. I also notice her flowers in a glass of water on the table and am glad she seems to like them.

I look around for Sookie and see her curled up on the couch. As I approach her, I realize that she fell asleep. Oh, how I would love to pick her up and carry her to my bed but I'm sure she's hungry and I'm sure she wants to go home to sleep. The thought of sleeping alone makes me feel really weird but I shake it off because it's ridiculous to miss something you've only had for two nights.

I walk up to Sookie and kneel down in front of the couch by her head. She looks so peaceful and angelic, I hate to wake her. I put my hand on her cheek, like she did to wake me when I was sick.

"Sookie," I say quietly and she immediately opens her eyes looking startled. As soon as she sees me, she relaxes and smiles. "Do you want to eat?" I ask.

"Oh, yes. Sorry!"

"Don't apologize. You've been so busy the last couple of days, if you want to go home and sleep that's okay," I say, secretly hoping she will stay. I'll be her human pillow if she wants to sleep. I'll even keep my hands to myself, even though I want to slide them all over her body.

"No, I want to stay," she says lifting her head to kiss me. I kiss her back but she moves before I get my fill of her lips...which will probably never happen anyway.

"Come on," she says, "Lets eat before it gets too cold. If I keep kissing you, dinner will get completely wasted."

Hmm, my thoughts exactly. Who needs food?

Obviously I do, I realize when I start eating. Apparently not eating for two days makes me extremely hungry. I eat quickly until I realize there is one piece left. Sookie sees me eyeing it and tells me to eat it, which I gladly do. See, only a perfect person lets someone else have the last piece of pizza!

"I'm glad you have your appetite back," she says.

"I do," I say, looking into her eyes. For more than food.

"Yeah?" she says, looking suddenly nervous. Does she not want me? Because I sure as hell want her.

"Yeah," I say, "Do you want to come sit with me?" But the tone of my voice makes it clear I want to do much more than just sit.

I walk her over to the couch and pull her into my arms for a kiss. I can't get enough of her mouth. Her lips are soft and full and perfect and her tongue is relentless against mine. I let my hands travel down her body and cup her ass to pull her into me. I have been completely hard almost since our lips met and I groan as she rolls her hips against me.

I back us up until her legs are touching the couch and then gently push her to sit down. Unfortunately our lips part but soon I will have something equally sweet in my mouth. I kneel in front of her and press wet kisses down her neck and along her collarbone. She sighs and goosebumps break out across her skin. She runs her fingers down my spine and I shiver and arch into her, which makes us both smile.

I lean back and put my hands on the hem of her shirt and look at her to ask if I can take it off. I want to see her. She nods so I lift it over her head revealing her pale pink bra which contrasts with her golden skin. She is beautiful, just like I imagined.

"Så vacker," I say, before translating my Swedish into, "So beautiful." Sometimes when I'm really excited I forget about English. And I'm really fucking excited right now!

I brush my lips across the tops of her breasts and her breathing picks up. While my mouth is busy I run my hands over her ribs to her back where her bra clasps. I put my fingers on it and undo it slowly so that if she doesn't want me to, she can tell me to stop. But she doesn't and soon her bra is on the floor and my mouth is on her soft skin. She gasps when my lips come into contact with her rosy nipple. My mouth closes around it and she moans as my tongue swirls over her tightening flesh. After licking and gently sucking both nipples I lean back and put my hands on the button to her jeans.

"Can I?" I ask, hoping that she will let me.

"Yes," she breathes.

I smile, I can't help it if I look like an idiot. This is what I've wanted for so long. I undo her pants slowly and when I pull them off, I tug her with them to the edge of the couch before I remove them. She is wearing lacy boy shorts and my dick twitches in my jeans and becomes almost painfully hard when I see them. I'm almost sorry I decided my dick would stay under wraps tonight but I want to make Sookie feel good, not myself. Although, my mouth on her is pretty damn good for me too.

I trace my fingertips lightly over the sides of her body. Over the soft swells of her breasts, the curve of her waist, and the flare of her hips. When my fingers reach her thighs, I start back up, tracing her silhouette in reverse. This time my mouth follows my fingers on one side and I let my lips ghost over her golden skin. She's breathing heavy and arching her back, pushing those perfect breasts closer to me. So, of course I have to make a detour and taste them again. It's a good thing my dick is still tucked away and is far from her center because I don't think I'd be able to resist her. She smells so sweet. Her skin is so soft and her shape is so enticing. She is all woman, a beautiful soft woman with curves for days and if I had days with her to do nothing but worship her body, I would. I kiss up her neck to her lips and press mine softly to hers.

"This is better than I imagined, Sookie. You are so sweet and beautiful. I can't get enough of you," I say with a quiet voice. She smiles shyly and her cheeks turn even more pink.

I slowly kiss back down her body – in the middle this time. I kiss from her lips to her neck and to the cleavage of her beautiful breasts. With my face in between them, I take a deep breath and I can't help but groan. The smell of her skin is intoxicating, and the flush of pink on her body draws me in. I want to devour her but I'll settle for kissing and licking her instead.

I brush my lips down her stomach and across her hips. I can feel her warmth radiating up from her center. Her breath is coming out in gasps and sighs as I move down her body. As my mouth reaches the band of her panties I grasp them with my fingers and pull slowly, again giving her a chance to stop me. She does not, but her eyes close.

"Don't close your eyes. Look at me, Sookie," I tell her.

She opens her eyes and looks down at me as I finally slip her panties off and toss them aside. I tear my eyes from hers as I get my first look at her, completely bare before me. I can't help the growly noise that leaves my mouth. She is just so fucking beautiful and all mine.

"You are really beautiful," I whisper. I know I keep saying that but it's true.

I dip my head down to kiss from her hip down to her mound and bring my hands around to her lower back to pull her forward a little more. I push her legs apart and dip my head again to lick her wet slit from bottom to top, stopping to flick my tongue against her clit. She moans and her hands come to the back of my head, tugging my hair as she tightens her fingers. Fuck, she tastes good everywhere. I groan and look up at her. She's still watching me like I want.

"Fucking delicious," I say in a low voice.

She blushes and gives me a small smile. Her hands are still in my hair and she pushes my head forward slightly. I love a woman who knows what she wants so I oblige her and bring my hand up to her as I bring my mouth down. I suck her glistening skin into my mouth and slide a finger into her. Her hips push forward and she gasps my name. _That_ is a sound I want to hear many more times. She is hot and tight around my finger and her hips continue to move with me. I swirl my tongue around and curl my finger inside her, looking for her magic spot. I know I've found it when she gasps and her hips move suddenly. So I keep stroking it, adding another finger and enjoying the way it makes her writhe in front of me. The way she is moving her body and the noises coming from her mouth have me straining in my jeans painfully. Would it be bad if I just unfastened them so I don't permanently bear the imprint of a zipper on my cock?

As if she can hear me thinking, she moves her leg and rubs her foot up and down my cock. I don't have a foot fetish or anything but her foot makes my cock jump and my heart thunder in my chest. My eyes roll back and I groan.

"Take them off," she says breathlessly.

My fingers are still inside her and I still don't have condoms so I shake my head. I don't trust myself to say anything because at this point anything is liable to come out of my mouth. She has that effect on me.

I lower my head again and lick her swiftly and she drops her foot and moans. Hopefully she forgot about undressing me because if we're both naked I know it will be next to impossible for me to resist her.

But she surprises me by leaning forward and grabbing the back of my shirt and pulling it up. I pull my arms out of it and she slips it over my head. I look up at her but she just flops back and smiles.

So I return to my task with vigor and stroke her from the inside while I flick my tongue relentlessly over her swollen flesh. She smells incredible and tastes even better. Her hips flex, rubbing her wetness against my face. I fucking love it. She's panting and writhing and I think she's probably close to cumming so I reach my unoccupied hand up and squeeze and roll her nipple between my fingers. She does this breathy moan thing but her voice is quivering with her body and between that and the way her inner muscles are squeezing my fingers, I am ready to cum in my pants like a teenager. Add to that, the way she is pulling my hair and pushing her thighs against my cheeks, I'm about to lose my mind and my load. She is obviously enjoying herself immensely. Her moans just keep coming and she arches her back and pushes her breasts up as she rolls her hips.

I lift my head so I can look at her face as she comes down but I keep rubbing her with my fingers until she stops rocking her hips. Her face, further flushed from her orgasm, is the most beautiful I've ever seen it- which is saying a lot because I think she is beautiful all the time. But right now, with her pink cheeks and red lips and generally satisfied expression, she looks like an oil painting and I wish I had her portrait to keep on my bedroom wall. I would stare at it every night before I fell asleep. Wow, what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm a sappy romantic all of a sudden?

"Eric?" Sookie asks, and I focus on her, "You blipped out on me there. What are you thinking?"

"Me? Nothing! Well, other than how beautiful you are. I think I got lost in you," I tell her looking down to the floor.

She sits up and hugs my head to her chest and for a second I'm just so happy to be in her arms that I don't even register my proximity to my new favorite toys. When I realize how close my mouth is to one of her perky pink nipples, I just have to suck it into my mouth.

"Thank you, Eric. That was- ooh," she says when she feels my mouth close over her nipple.

I smile at her even though my mouth is full and she caresses my face but then tells me to stop.

"Eric, as much as I would love to go another round with you, and maybe let that monster out to play," she says, motioning to my erection, "I really should head home."

I sigh, but she is right. I stand up and reach my hand out and help her up when she puts her hand in mine. Before I let her get dressed I pull her into my body to hug her tightly. I lay my cheek against her hair and just enjoy the feel of her against me. She is everything I am not and we complement each other well. She is soft to my hard, round curves to my straight planes, small body to my towering frame. She is sweet and kind, always patient and selfless, which is opposite to me also and yet, still she likes me.

"Thank you for staying, Sookie. Thank you for everything."

"Eric, quit thanking me," she says, looking up at me, "You are worth it."

She pulls my face down by my chin and kisses me softly. She backs away from me and I want to pull her back but she starts to get dressed and I watch, mesmerized but sorrowful, to see her re-cover everything that I exposed.

I grab my shirt and put it on before asking her if she wants to take the T or a cab. I'm sure by now, she knows which I would prefer her to use but she can make up her own mind.

"It's not too late, I'll take the T," she says and I try to hide the worry on my face. "I'll be fine, Eric," she says. Realistically, I know she will but I still worry.

"Well, thank... I mean, um, see you tomorrow." I say, hugging her. I would love to snuggle with her but it's late and she wants to go home.

She puts on her boots and her coat, grabs her flowers, kisses me so fast that I can't even kiss her back, and walks to the door.

"Bye, I had fun! Thanks!" she says cheerily and then she's gone.

I clean up the table and head to bed. My pillows smell like Sookie so I lay my head on one and hug the other one to my chest and I fall asleep faster than usual as I breathe in her sweet scent.

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**Swedish(from Google translate so forgive any mistakes): **

**_Hur mår du, min lilla docka? Jag älskar dig så mycket_,- How are you, my little doll? I love you so much. **

**_Vill du ta ett bad, prinsessa_?- Do you want to take a bath, princess? **

**Thank you for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it!**


	19. Chapter 19

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SOOKIE

Oh my god! Oh. My. God! I love him! I'm in love with him! I want to scream it to the world as I walk down Cambridge Street to the T stop! I know I have a spring in my step after that orgasm and realizing that I love him is just making me even happier. And me loving him doesn't even have anything to do with his fabulous tongue!

I grin at a group of ladies that passes me by and they smile and give each other sidelong glances. I'm an idiot, I'm a fool in love! I'm so happy I could scream! I love Eric Northman!

He is so sweet and thoughtful! So considerate and such a glorious freaking lover. Holy shit! I'm surprised I could even stand up after that orgasm. Damn. Bill the Bastard Compton sure can't compare to him. In _any_ way! But it's more than what he does for me with his body. I realized that whenever I see him, my heart beats a little faster and my stomach feels nervous and I long to have him in my arms. Just thinking about him makes me grin like an idiot. I can picture myself with him long term- I even love his daughter! I love that baby girl and I'm going to do my very best to make sure whoever gets the privilege of taking care of her does the best job possible.

As I board the T, and see all these people, I have the urge to tell them. I want to tell them all! I love Eric Northman! I need to tell someone!

"Amelia!" I say as soon as I walk into our suite, "Amelia!" I knock on her door and she opens it a few seconds later.

"Sookie! What's wrong? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong! Nothing! Everything is right! I love him, Amelia! I love Eric!"

"What? When did this happen? Geez! How long were you gone? Did I sleep through a month?"

"Ha ha! I know it's fast but it's right!"

"Is the sex that good?" she jokes, pulling me into her room to sit with her on her bed.

"We didn't even have sex. Well, not full sex. But it's not about that! It's him! It's everything. His thoughtfulness, his playfulness, his intelligence, his incredible love for his baby girl, how he's always kind and patient and gentle with her and how he speaks Swedish to her, how he listens to me and talks to me, his vulnerable side, how he's so freaking grateful for every little thing I do for him, how he always wants to hold me and nuzzle my neck, even how freaked out he gets because that's just part of his intensity that I love! Everything, Amelia! Everything!"

"Damn, Sookie! Does he have a sister? Or a brother- I'm not picky!"

We laugh. I know she loves Tracy and is just playing around.

"So I guess the sleepover went well?"

"Yes, no thanks to your clothing choices! What the heck, girl? The silk shirt gown and the tiny shorts outfit? A little obvious and desperate don't you think?"

"Well, it worked..." she says with a smirk.

I cant help but grin at her. It did indeed work. "Thanks for packing my razor, though. Whew! When I saw what you packed, I was freaking out about my prickly legs!"

"See, I'm a good friend! I think of everything!"

"You are a good friend." I say, smiling.

"So, what will you do? Are you going to tell him?"

"God no! It's way too soon! I think it would scare him. He hasn't exactly had it easy in the girlfriend department."

"Yeah, you're right. How's he doing? Did you guys talk and decide to date? Are you his girlfriend? You didn't even call me. Things must have gone very well!"

"He's doing okay. He's definitely a little shell shocked but he has had a tough life, Amelia. I don't want to spill his secrets but his childhood wasn't the best and that's putting it lightly. The fact that he is as sweet and caring as he is, is amazing. But we did talk and decide to date, although I'm not sure we'll be going on many real dates with Annika, which is fine. We did not have the girlfriend/boyfriend talk so I don't think I can call myself that, though."

"Did you ever tell him about your childhood? I mean, about your parents?" Amelia looks slightly uncomfortable to discuss this topic. Most people are.

"Yeah, I did when we were in New York. It came up at dinner so I just told him briefly that they died when I was seven and Jason and I went to live with Gran. He didn't ask anything else. I had already told him my gran raised me and Jason."

"Oh. So his was worse than that?" she says sadly.

"Yes. It was. At least my parents were good to me and so was Gran. He was not so lucky. I really don't want to talk about it, though, Amelia. I feel like I'm betraying his confidence. Please don't say anything to anybody. Especially him if you meet him. He is really afraid people will pity him if they know his background, okay?"

"Oh yeah, of course," she says sincerely.

"Thanks!...Oh my god!" I say as a horrible realization dawns on me.

"What?"

"I realized I loved him and then I practically ran out of his house! What's he going to think?"

She smiles at me, "Oh, I'm sure its fine," she says.

"No, Amelia, he had just...um...you know, gone down on me. And then I grabbed my stuff and left!"

"Oohh, well, it's probably still okay. Did you leave _right_ away?"

"Yes! And I didn't even think of how frustrated I was leaving him. He was hard all night! Shit! But I did ask him to take off his pants and he wouldn't."

"How was he?"

"What?"

"With his mouth," she says with wide eyes and raised brows.

"Soo good," I sigh, "So so freaking good!"

"So why did you leave?"

"I don't know! I wasn't thinking right! I was on this post orgasm- oh my god I love him- high. I kept thinking I had to leave right then or I would never make it home ever again. Everything about him is just so intense and captivating and when I'm around him, I just feel so good and I never want to leave."

"Well, just tell him that part. That you thought you should leave fast or you never would have. Maybe he didn't even notice."

"Yeah, maybe," I say but I'm not convinced. "Alright, well, I'm heading to bed. Thanks for the chat!"

"Goodnight, Sookie."

I say goodnight and then grab my things for a shower before bed.

I wake up feeling simultaneously giddy and anxious. Giddy because as soon as I think of Eric, I get this wave of warmth that washes through me, causing my heart to race and my stomach to flip. Yep, I love him! But I'm nervous about what he will be thinking this morning. Did he notice that I practically ran out on him after he gave me that fantastic orgasm?

But once I ring his doorbell and see him standing there with his shirt completely unbuttoned and his hair wet and tousled, I cannot think of anything but wanting him in my arms. Luckily, he seems to be thinking the same thing because he grabs me as soon as I walk inside. He doesn't even give me a chance to shed my coat or boots before he brings his head down and presses his lips firmly onto mine. He's certainly eager. He's being much more insistent than usual.

"I missed you Sookie," he murmurs against me before his tongue is in my mouth. There is nothing gentle about this kiss. It's urgent and needy and fervid. His mouth is hot and demanding and his hands are firm, his fingers gripping my neck and my lower back. I remember his open shirt and run my hands up and down his chest and stomach, which ripples under my fingers. I tease his nipples and he gasps and then growls. Holy shit, that's hot. I love when he growls. He's getting hard, I can feel him against me but we have no time to finish this thing we started. I don't want to leave him frustrated before work so I need to break this off.

"Hey... Eric...stop, hun," I say between kisses.

He immediately backs up and looks at me. He's panting and his eyes are smoldering but he maintains the distance between us.

"Wow, that was fast," I say.

"You said stop," he says. He's still breathing hard but the tent in his pants is gone and his eyes have relaxed in intensity.

"I'm sorry," I say, still impressed with his self control, "It's just that we don't have enough time right now and I don't want you to go to work frustrated. Its bad enough that's the state I left you in last night." I can feel my cheeks turning red even though I should be comfortable with this topic considering where on his body I have had my hands.

"The state you left me in last night?" he says with a crinkle in his brow. "I was happy when you left. I mean, I wanted you to stay, but I was happy. Were you not happy?" he says, sounding alarmed.

"Oh, no! I mean yes! I mean...I was very happy. Extremely happy. That was...yes! I was happy!" Oh god, Sookie! Stop rambling! Geez, I sound like a moron!

"Okay..." he says, obviously confused. "I don't even remember what this conversation is about. We were both happy...what were you saying?"

"Um, nothing. It doesn't matter. So, what is your plan for today? Working late again?" His shirt is open still and I feel like there is a mantra of _don't look at his chest, don't look at his chest_ going through my mind. I'm like one of those annoying men who speak to a woman's breasts but he is just so well built, I'm having a hard time looking at his eyes.

"I'm not sure but probably, since I still have things to catch up on. Oh! But I forgot to tell you that the agency called with the names of three nannies so I was hoping you could call them today and try to schedule them all for interviews. Is that okay? I would do it but things are crazy at work. I was thinking that if you want to come over on Saturday, we could interview them and then I could take you and Annika out to eat. Do you think you'd want to?"

Ooh! Saturday with him? Yes, please! My mouth curves into a big smile as I say yes.

"That's a great idea!" I say, "So, schedule them for the morning if they can?" _Eyes- look at his eyes._

"Yes, thank you," he says buttoning his shirt at last. I think he forgot that he wasn't dressed yet.

I follow him up the stairs when he goes up and watch as he combs his hair and gets a tie and some socks. He tucks his shirt in and I cant help but think that I would love to have my hands where his are- down his pants. God, something is wrong with me!

"What?" he says and I'm surprised it's taken him this long to say something. I've been staring at him for a while now.

"Nothing. I just like to look at you."

"Well, I like to do more than look at you," he says stalking towards me with dark eyes.

"Ah, ah, sugar. More will come later," I say, backing up slightly as he comes closer. The look that flashes across his face is so full of desire that it makes my stomach coil briefly and I think that later just turned into now.

And because babies always know the exact moment to interrupt, Annika starts crying across the hall.

I grin at him as I walk away because the look on his face is so comically crestfallen. He may even be into pouting territory.

"I'll make it up to you. I promise," I say before I leave the room.

Annika is happy to see me and she stops crying and reaches for me with a big smile.

"Ooh, I love you baby girl!" I say to her bright face before realizing that if Eric hears me tell his baby that I love her, he might think it's strange.

I change Annika's diaper and dress her and Eric comes in halfway through. He walks up behind me and puts his arms around me and his head on my shoulder. I want to sink back against him, he just makes me feel warm and happy.

"God morgon, Annika," he says to her. I can tell what that means!

"Good morning, right?" I say and he nods against my shoulder. "I think it's so sweet that you are speaking Swedish to her now."

"Well, you encouraged me to. So thank you."

"Yeah, well, I might not be so happy about it down the line when she's like two and really starts talking and I can't understand a thing you two are saying!" Crap. Did I really just insert myself into his life more than a year from now? That's pretty creepy.

He's quiet, and that worries me. But I have no idea what to say so I finish dressing Annika quickly so that we can go downstairs. Once I pick her up, he backs away from me and follows me down the stairs.

"I'm just going to make her a bottle," I say as I sit Annika in her chair and practically run into the kitchen.

Shit! I don't want to scare him by getting too serious too fast, and talking about something that wont happen for a year is too fast. Definitely!

Eric comes into the kitchen and hugs me again, watching over my shoulder while I make the bottle. There is not much to do, just measure and shake, but when he doesn't back up when the bottle is obviously made, I wonder what's going through that mind of his. I'm not facing him to be able to see his expression and he hasn't said anything so I am at a loss.

"Eric?" I say.

"Hmm?" he says as if I had just woken him up.

"You okay?"

"Yes," he sighs, and then he straightens up and says, "Yes! Great!" Hmm, great and strange maybe.

I pour Annika's formula into her sippy cup and set it down in front of her along with some cheerios.

"You leaving now?" I ask Eric.

He gives me sad eyes, "Yeah, unfortunately, I have to. I wish I could stay home with you two," he looks from Annika to me, obviously wistful of the times we got to spend all day together.

I walk up to him and smooth my hands across his chest and then down around his back to hug his waist. "Aww, honey, we'll miss you too. But I'll be over tomorrow and I'll see you after work. I'll make dinner if you call and tell me when you'll be home, okay?"

"Sookie, you don't have to make me dinner. I don't want you to feel like you have to cook for me all the time."

"Nonsense. I'd be cooking for myself, in fact, just you is easy! I usually cook for Amelia and her girlfriend and my other suitemate John, who somehow always manages to be around at dinner time. He's like a stray kitten and I can't help but feed him."

We are talking face to face, my head tilted up and his turned down and when I mentioned John, I definitely saw a flash of jealous anger cross his features. He really should not be jealous of a sophomore with the grooming habits of a stray animal.

"Come here, you," I say as I reach up and grab his face. I pull him down and kiss him hard with closed lips. "I want to make you dinner, okay? Just say yes," I say before kissing him again, this time with soft gentle lips that capture his.

"Yes," he says, before licking my bottom lip. I open my mouth to him and he slips his hands into my hair and tilts my head, deepening our kiss. He steps closer to me and presses his body to mine and once again I can feel him getting aroused. He keeps starting things so who am I to stop them? I'm going to keep kissing him until he pulls away.

I can tell by his heaving chest and fervently exploring hands that he is really revving himself up. He will either be frustrated or late for work at this point. I would offer to help him out but with Annika awake, I can't think of a way for that to happen.

"Da da!" she shrieks because they seem to have a sixth sense about these things and I'm sure she knows I was just thinking about her.

He releases me so fast I stumble backwards. His arm shoots out to catch me before he strides quickly to Annika's highchair and kneels on one knee before her. He wipes his large hand across his mouth and then kisses the top of her head.

He speaks to her in soft rapid Swedish and I wonder what he's saying because I swear I heard my name.

"Are you talking about me?" I ask, coming up to them at the table.

"Yup," he says, looking mighty smug. I know he's not going to tell me what he said so I don't even ask.

He stands up. "Okay, I really need to go," he says quickly.

"Hey, do you ever eat breakfast?" I ask. I don't think I've ever seen him eat on a work morning.

"Coffee?" he says and I give him a look. He grins, "They get pastries at work so I eat that sometimes. Sookie, if you make me breakfast I'm going to feel awful, okay?"

He must be able to see my disappointment with his eating habits. "Okay, I wont, but you need to eat better. Annika will be big enough for regular foods really soon so you will have to stock your fridge with groceries instead of take-out."

He nods at me but I can tell by his eyes that I've offended him or something. He starts to walk away, putting on his suit jacket. "I have to go," he says.

Shit. "No, no, no, Eric, don't do that. I upset you. I'm sorry. There's nothing wrong with what you've been doing, okay?" I walk up to him and pull his face down. "Okay? I didn't mean to make you feel bad. You are doing great," I say as I run my thumb across his cheekbone. The man has impossibly beautiful cheekbones! He shivers and it makes his whole body jerk. I smile at his response to my touch and he returns my smile with an adorable blush on his cheeks.

"Okay," he says quietly, his smile fading as he turns from me. I feel like shit. I know he's worried about being good enough for Annika and here I basically told him he's doing a shitty job of feeding her.

"I'll call you with the nanny information. I left it at work," he says, putting on his coat and shoes.

"Sure, I'll try to set something up as soon as I can," I say, following him to Annika's side. He kisses her head and whispers something against her soft curls. She lifts her face to look at him and reaches for him so he kisses her tiny fingers and then puts her hand back onto her highchair tray. He is _such_ a good father and nothing like the bastard he grew up with and I feel so horrible for what I said to him.

"You're a wonderful dad, Eric," I say softly to him. He looks at me and gives me a placating smile, a small upturn of his mouth with no genuine happiness evident on his face.

"Bye, Sookie," he says before grabbing his briefcase and heading to the door.

"Wait!" I say, walking quickly to catch him before he leaves. "Wait, Eric." I reach my hand out to grasp his arm and turn him towards me. I slip my hands around his middle, under both of his jackets and press the side of my face to his chest. I can hear the steady beat of his heart and its quickening pace as I continue to hold him. He still has his briefcase in one hand so he encircles my shoulder with his other arm and puts his hand on my head, holding me to his chest. He drops his head to kiss my hair and he stays there breathing deeply until I take a step back. I put my hand under his chin and briefly trace his bottom lip with my thumb before stretching up to kiss him softly. I so badly want to whisper_ I love you_ and _I'm sorry_ and so many other things that I think he needs to hear but instead I simply say goodbye and watch with a sigh as he walks outside to his car.

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ERIC

I wake up feeling ridiculously happy and at first I can't remember why. But as the haze of sleep leaves my mind, I remember being with Sookie last night and finally undressing her and touching her and tasting her. I groan aloud as I remember her soft warm body and glistening skin. She was so hot and tight around my fingers I can't help imagining another very eager part of my anatomy in her wet center. She will be here soon so I reluctantly roll out of bed and into the shower so I can be ready when she gets here.

She's early and I'm still half dressed when I hear the doorbell. She's seen it all before so I walk downstairs to let her in. At least I have pants on so I don't think she'll care that my shirt is not buttoned.

As soon as I see her, all thoughts of anything else in the world fly from my mind. She is all that I can sense, she is all that I want. I grab her and pull her inside. Maybe a little roughly, I realize, but she doesn't seem to mind. I quickly cover her mouth with my own and plunge my tongue between her open lips. I need her, I missed her, I want her. I feel almost feral in my need to consume her. I want to taste every inch of her mouth and I know my grasp on her neck is tight but she's still kissing me back so it must be okay.

When I feel her hands on my bare chest and stomach I remember my shirt is open. Her hands are stoking the heat in my pants, causing me to stir against her. Then she pinches my nipples and a jolt goes straight down my body to my rapidly hardening cock, making me suck in air. I make that same growly noise that keeps coming out of my mouth before I can stop it. She does it to me and I can't get enough.

Somewhere in my aroused oblivion, I hear the word stop so I drop my hands from her body and take a step back, putting unwanted distance between us. My chest is heaving but I'm trying to calm down because for some reason she wants me to stop.

She tells me we don't have enough time for where that kissing was leading so she wants to stop. Okay, but then she says something about the state she left me in last night and I'm confused because I had a good time last night. Didn't she? Shit! But she says she did so now I really don't know what she's talking about.

Anyway, she drops that subject which gives me a chance to tell her about the nanny information I got yesterday at work. I totally forgot about it yesterday because I was so eager to give her my gifts. I'm grateful she will set up interviews, both so that we can get it over with and pick a new nanny and so she'll come over tomorrow and spend the day with me. And hopefully the night.

I glance down and notice my shirt is still open so I button it as I walk upstairs. Sookie follows me and she just kind of stares at me while I get ready. She stands at the bathroom door and watches me comb my hair. She watches me choose a tie and put on socks. It is a little unnerving to be stared at like she's doing. When I start to tuck my shirt into my slacks, she stares at my crotch with her bottom lip between her teeth and I finally ask her what she's doing.

She likes to look at me she says. Well, yeah. I like to look at her but I like to touch her more and I tell her as much as I walk towards her to do just that. She tries to stop me, telling me to wait until later but I want her now and by the look in her eyes I think she changed her mind about later.

But then, of course, Annika wakes up and starts crying. Sookie goes to get her while I try to will my erection away. Meeting Sookie has been an almost constant exercise in self-control and sometimes it just fucking sucks.

As I am tying my tie, I swear I hear Sookie tell my baby girl that she loves her and my heart falls into my stomach and then decides to get stuck in my throat on it's way back up. Does she love my girl? Why does that make me ridiculously happy and make me want to cry at the same time? Is there such thing as emotional flu because I think I have that. Just way too many emotions coming up since I met Sookie and I don't really like it. I like her, I just don't know if I can handle the rest of this.

As if to test my theory that she brings up unwanted emotions, while I'm hugging her as she dresses Annika, she says something about not understanding our Swedish when Anni is two. _Two_- which would mean she wants to be around in a year, more than a year. And suddenly my heart is hammering in my chest because while I do imagine her in my future, knowing she does too makes this thing we have so much more real. And that is fucking scary as hell because sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in her and as much as I want her to envelop me, I'm scrambling for air just as much. And I don't want to, I don't want to let my past affect me but maybe it does. Because what I have with Sookie is so good, I should be running towards her, not fucking shaking on the shore.

I follow her down the stairs and as I find myself once again attached to the back of her body, I make up my mind that I will pursue this despite my fears because I feel like she's worth it. She's worth my time and effort and my possible death by emotional overload. What we have could lead to somewhere great and besides, the thought of not being with her causes me more anguish then the fear of being overwhelmed by her. So, when she asks me if I'm okay, my answer is yes. Yes, I'm more than okay. "Yes, great!" in fact.

Then she asks me if I'm leaving and I know I have to but I don't want to and I tell her so. She soothes me with a hug and she calls me honey and asks to make me dinner. What did I ever do to deserve her? Nothing- I don't deserve her and I don't want her to think she needs to make me dinner. But when I tell her that, she says she cooks for her friends anyway. One of which is named John- and fucking John better keep his hands to himself and be fucking grateful for the fucking dinner he gets!

She reaches up and grabs my face, firmly planting her lips on mine and I forget all about that freeloading fucker. She tells me to say yes and I'm not sure why because she's really close to me and that's all I can think about. She kisses me again and I say yes like she wanted and then pull her closer to me to kiss her thoroughly. She feels so good against my body with her silky hair between my fingers so I let my hands roam over her. She's all curves and soft skin and I'm on sensory overload trying to take it all in. Maybe I'll just be late for work and take her upstairs right now.

Then I hear Anni say my name and I feel horrible that I let my dick do my thinking for a minute. I can't have Sookie with Annika right here! Shit! I step back from Sookie so fast that she stumbles. Shit! I steady her and then walk over to Annika to pay her some attention before I have to leave. Really, I should have left ten minutes ago.

I tell Annika in Swedish that I'm sorry I ignored her but that Sookie makes me do silly things and that I think she likes Sookie just as much as I do so she should be happy for me. I'm just being stupid, I know she doesn't understand. But neither does Sookie, a fact that makes me happy right now, much to her adorable annoyance.

I get up and tell Sooke that I really need to leave and she asks me if I eat breakfast. I swear to god, if she offers to make me breakfast, I will yell at her! I tell her I have coffee and occasional pastries but that's not good enough for her, of course. I can tell by her face so I tell her I don't want her making me breakfast and she tells me that I need to do a better job feeding Annika. My heart sinks as I mentally inventory my shelves and my fridge and realize she is right. I need to go grocery shopping more regularly for Annika's sake. Well, just one more thing I fucked up.

"I have to go," I tell her and then I start to walk away and put on my suit jacket and Sookie stops me and tells me she didn't mean to make me feel bad and that I'm doing a great job. Yeah. Stellar.

Her hand is on my face and she caresses me in a way that makes my whole body spasm somehow. She smiles at me and it makes me smile and blush because that was a ridiculous reaction. I turn and finish getting ready to go, telling her I will call her later from work. I walk up to Annika and whisper an apology to her because she's stuck with me and I keep fucking things up. Sookie follows me and tries to tell me that I'm a wonderful dad but that can't be true.

I say goodbye, intent on leaving for real this time, but she stops me and comes to hug me, laying her head on my chest. Her touch always makes my heart race and this is no exception even though I feel like shit. I know she feels bad for what she said to me but it was true so she shouldn't. I put my free arm around her and my face against her hair and breathe deeply. Her scent always makes me feel better. She pulls back and kisses me gently and looks at me tenderly and that makes me feel better too. She says goodbye to me and I finally walk out to go to work. Only about twenty minutes later than I should have.

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**Thanks for reading guys! I get so happy every time someone adds this story to an alert and every time a review comes in! I didn't get a chance to personally thank every reviewer this time so let me say a big thank you now! I appreciate the time you take to review!**

**I know this chapter didn't move them along very far (it's 5,000 words covering less than an hour of their time together, lol) but I wanted you to see Eric's state of mind through everything that happened this morning. Sookie realized that she loves him, which is a big step for her and Eric decided that he won't hold back because she is worth pursuing seriously even though it terrifies him. I think that's a big decision for him because he could easily delude himself into thinking the fear and possible heartbreak is not worth it but instead he decides that even if all these feelings make him uncomfortable, he will let himself feel them. And this conscious decision will make it easier for him to realize he loves her and to maybe not freak out so badly once he does. So, he's making progress, albeit slowly. Though he is still woefully hard on himself.**

**And I promise I have a plan for them to do the deed and it will be soon but I'm not sure how many chapters it will take to get there if this one only spanned a hour, lol! So stick with me and I hope it will be worth the wait. :)**


	20. Chapter 20

ERIC

"You're late!" Pam hisses at me as soon as she sees me. "Madden has been sitting in your office for ten minutes!"

Pam's pissed at me. Shit. What the fuck does Madden want anyway?

"Did she say why she is here?"

"No! And she didn't want to wait until after the meeting to talk to you. Where the hell were you? You are never late!" Yeah, except for the day I met the reason why I am late today. Shit.

"I'm sorry, Pam. I don't have an excuse." Shit, I'm just fucking up all over the place today. Work is the one area of my life where I feel completely competent and now I just fucked this up too. Fuck!

I calm down, plaster a congenial smile onto my face, and open the door to my office.

"Mrs. Madden, to what do I owe the pleasure?" I ask her in that fucking fake way people ask that question. Really, it is no pleasure. I can't stand this woman. The only reason I tolerate her is because her company is currently paying mine a shitload of money to facilitate a merger between DeCastro Scientific and Threadgill Technologies.

Madden is DeCastro's Mergers and Acquisitions Manager. She is giving Threadgill a run for his money, refusing almost every concession at first look and proving to be a very difficult working partner in this merger. Which, given Peter Threadgill's connection to Sophie and her family, the Leclerqs, makes me a little happy. But just a little because this hostile working relationship just gives me more work to do.

"You've kept me waiting for ten minutes," she whines petulantly, "I do hope you will make up for my lost time," she says as she walks up to me where I'm removing my coat and fingers my tie.

Did I mention that I hate this woman? —This would be why. Apparently she has decided that my connection, however weak, to the Leclerqs, makes me fair game to torture. She comes on to me regularly and then makes my life a living hell for the few days after an unsuccessful attempt to coerce me into her bed. I have told her off countless times but I can't be too harsh because my boss would be livid if I did something to jeopardize this deal. In fact, I'm sure I'd be out on my ass and I can't let that happen with Annika to care for. So I cringe while this woman breathes on me and grit my teeth as she brushes her fingers along my thigh and back up slowly when she comes too close with her body. Then I tell her for the hundredth time that we are only business associates and nothing more as I excuse myself from her company. She just keeps trying again and I fucking hate it but there is nothing else I can do.

Pam has seen a little of how she treats me but Madden knows how to be discreet. If I can just get through the next few weeks, her merger will be done and I can go back to my little area of the world and she can go back to hers and I will hopefully never be so under her control again.

But right now, I still have to deal with her.

"I am sorry you had to wait," I tell her as I sit behind my desk, "But I was not expecting to see you until the meeting at ten."

"Oh, that stupid meeting. If those idiots at Threadgill would just agree with me, this would all be settled. Then we would no longer be business associates, Eric. And we would be free to be more," she says suggestively with what I'm sure she thinks is a seductive look.

It just turns my stomach, however, as do her words. She always calls me Eric as if I am some little boy toy, some subject under her rule. I wish one of these times she would choke on my name. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Madden, I'm not sure I understand what you are getting at. When the merger is over, we will then have no relationship whatsoever," I say clearly, hoping she will get the message.

She makes a horrendous pouty face and tells me to call her Victoria, and I can only hope that I am successfully hiding my disgust. She comes around to sit on the edge of my desk and causes some papers to fall. Of course, she bends down with her ass in the air to pick them up. As she sets them back on my desk, I notice that one of them is the paper with the nanny information written on it and I resent her for keeping me from Sookie because she is expecting my call.

Now she's really pissing me off but I clench my jaw as her hand comes slowly for my knee. Before she can touch me, I stand up abruptly and ask her if there is something she needs right now, otherwise I will see her at the meeting.

She stands up with a sigh and as she's walking towards my door she says, "DeCastro put me in charge for one reason, Eric. I always get what I want."

Fuck her. Actually, that's just what she wants. Goddamn! I don't want her to ruin my whole fucking day so I need to relax. I have to see her again in thirty minutes and with the way I feel right now, if she tries something I will get fired for my reaction. Shit! I decide to call Sookie because she is always good at helping me calm down. I need to give her the nanny information anyway.

She sounds happy to hear from me and the sound of her voice soothes the anger that's making my pulse race.

"What's wrong, honey?" she asks me. She always knows when something is up with me. Always. The thought of how good she is for me and the fact that I love when she calls me honey, helps me to relax even further and I feel okay again. Her presence, even just over the phone, works wonders for my mood.

"Ah, just some exasperating executive who's making things difficult for me. It's okay. I can handle it."

"Want me to kick his ass?" she asks and I laugh. She actually sounds serious, which is both adorable and heart warming.

"I wish, Sookie. The exec is a she, though. But it's nothing I can't handle. I've been dealing with her for a while now."

"Wait! Is this the exec that puts her hands on you? Because I _will_ kick her ass, Eric!"

Oh, shit. I forgot I told her about that when I was less than sober. Shit! "Yeah, Sookie, but it's fine. I just have to deal with her for a few more weeks."

"No, Eric, it's not fine! Did you tell her to stop? She can't get away with that. Is she still touching you inappropriately?"

She's getting angry and shrill and this is not helping my mood. "Sookie! I said I can handle it!" I say more harshly than I want to. I take a calming breath and then start again. "She doesn't usually touch me anymore after I told her to stop but she was drinking that night in New York. I don't let her get that close to me anymore." Shit. I don't need this.

"Drinking is not an excuse for abominable behavior. If it was a man harassing a woman wouldn't you say something?"

I sigh. I have thought of all this. "Sookie, there is no way she could overpower me so it's not the same..."

"She has already overpowered you, Eric, just not by might. You're afraid of the repercussions if you cause problems for her. She holds all the power already. This is not right, Eric." She has quieted her voice and is now speaking gently to me but that doesn't make it easier to hear what she has to say. She is right, of course.

"I know it's not right but I'm trying to save my job here. If I said to her what I want to say, I'd get fired," I say.

"Well, let's try to think of something that you _can_ do. Did you tell Pam?"

"No."

"Well, that should be your first step. Telling someone who can help you. I know Pam will have your back. You shouldn't have to deal with this on your own."

The way she's talking about this makes me think it's something she has had to deal with herself and that thought makes me sick to my stomach.

"Sookie?" I say gently.

"Yeah?"

"Has this...Did someone..." I don't know how to ask the question.

"A long time ago, Eric," she says, cutting in, "And things only got better because I said something."

"A long time ago?" I repeat, thinking of what that means since she's only 23. The thoughts running through my head make my hands and stomach clench and I have the sudden urge to murder someone. I wish Sookie was in front of me, I would fold her into my arms and never let her go.

"I'm okay now Eric. I had a lot of counseling between my parents and that. I'm okay. And just like you, I don't want this to change how you see me, understand?"

"Yes, I understand. I'm sorry, Sookie," I say, not even knowing exactly what I'm apologizing for.

"Eric, just tell Pam or something and make this bitch stop messing with you. I know you are trying to protect your interests but it can't go on."

"Okay, I'm going to tell Pam and she can help me think of something. Thanks, Sookie. I appreciate how much you care."

Pam pops her head into my office and motions to the clock on the wall because we have business to go over before the meeting in twenty minutes. Shit, okay.

"Sookie, I have to go but let me give you the nanny information. If you get something set up, call Pam's number and leave a message because I have meetings all morning but I'm anxious to hear. And thank you so much for all your help," I say, meaning with the nannies and everything else. I quickly give her the names and phone numbers for the three nanny candidates and then we say goodbye.

Pam comes in all the way once I'm off the phone and sits down in front of my desk.

"What did Madden want? She's such a nuisance," says Pam.

"Actually, Pam, you have no idea," I say and then I tell her the whole story with Victoria Madden, starting with her cornering me outside the first meeting to her fingering my tie and reaching for my knee this morning.

Pam is livid by the time I'm done. I think she's more angry than even I am.

"You have to do something, Eric! We have to do something. That bitch will not get away with this!"

"Thanks, Pam. Sookie called her a bitch too and she said you'd have my back."

"I love that girl," she says.

"Me too," I agree and Pam looks at me with one raised eyebrow. "You know what I mean," I say.

"I do," is all she says.

We have to switch to talking about the meeting because we only have a few minutes left but Pam assures me that we will come up with something to take care of the Madden situation and knowing Pam, it will be good.

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SOOKIE

I get off the phone with Eric feeling nauseous. Both because of the reminder of my past and because of the current situation that he's dealing with at work. That man has so much on his shoulders it's a wonder he can walk upright. I can't believe he was just going to let that bitch keep bothering him. I know he is trying to save his job and he just wants to be left alone in his little area of work but he can't let someone do that to him. I'm glad he said he would tell Pam because if anyone can kick some exec ass in a creative way, it's Pam.

I look down at the paper I wrote the nanny information on and decide to call Janna first. I would normally wait for Annika's nap to make phone calls but she is playing quietly and if we want to interview these women tomorrow, I need to give them as much notice as I can.

I dial Janna's number and when she picks up and I make sure it's her, I introduce myself and tell her I am calling on behalf of Eric Northman about a nanny position for ten-month-old Annika.

"Oh yes!" she says, "The agency told me you would call."

"Yes, well, I'm calling to ask if you would be available to come to Mr. Northman's house for an interview tomorrow morning some time? The position needs to be filled by next week and we'd like to give Annika a chance to get used to a new caretaker."

"Tomorrow morning? Sure. I could come at ten, is that good?"

"Perfect! Let me give you his address. Are you familiar with Beacon Hill?"

"He lives on Beacon Hill?" she says, sounding way too eager.

"Uh, yes. Do you know the area?"

"I know of it. Are you his secretary?" she asks. Okay, this bitch is getting nosy and annoying!

"No, I'm just helping him choose a new nanny."

"Oh, well, I know where Beacon Hill is and I'm sure I could find it if I have the address."

I give her the address and we hang up. I'm now dreading these interviews. Any girl who spends even a small amount of time with Eric is going to like him and depending on what kind of a person she is, she will pursue him if she has the chance. He is a catch. Anyone who spends five minutes with him can tell that. Despite being absolutely gorgeous, he is successful and well- mannered. And if they got to know him, they'd know that he is also sweet and thoughtful. Plus he's a good cook and an excellent father. Oh my god! This is going to be so hard. How can I hand my Annika off to another woman who might want to jump her father? God knows I wanted to as soon as I met him. My Annika...well –yes, I want to claim her. I love her and I want her to be mine.

I groan out loud as I dial the second number. The woman is named Yvetta and she has a foreign accent. Everything she says is a purr and I immediately dislike her. I can just imagine her big fake boobs and skimpy outfits. Ok, so that's not very fair but the green-eyed monster has a clear hold on me and I just want to tell all these prospective nannies that Eric is mine and I will shank them if they come too near him. I give Yvetta the speech about who I am and why I'm calling and we make an appointment for 9:15 tomorrow morning. Two down, one to go.

The last one is named Jessica and she is not there so I leave her a message to call me back today if she can.

With that out of the way, I turn my attention to Annika and we play until nap time. Soon after she wakes up, Mary comes by to clean since it's Friday. We chat as she cleans the kitchen and I feed Annika her lunch.

The phone rings so I excuse myself and answer it. It's Jessica calling back and she says she can't come tomorrow because she has plans with her boyfriend that she just can't break. But if she has a boyfriend, that means she is less likely to go after mine so I go ahead and schedule her for Monday just before nap time so that she can meet Annika and then I can talk to her when Annika goes to sleep. If Eric is not okay with me meeting her by myself, I can call her to reschedule. Since we are in a time crunch, I don't think he'll mind me handling this one by myself.

"Are you not going to be her nanny anymore?" Mary asks once I'm off the phone.

"Unfortunately not. I'm in school and it starts back up after next week. This was just temporary for me so I'm helping Eric find a replacement that will hopefully stick around for the long haul."

"You know, I have a very dear friend who is looking for a nanny position. Her last son just left for college last Fall and she is looking to fill her days. I think little Annika would love her. She was a teacher before she left the workforce to raise her three sons and now that they are all out of the nest, she has more time than she knows what to do with!"

"I would love to take down her information and talk to Eric about it. She sounds great!" Great and not a boyfriend stealer since she has her own grown sons! This could be perfect! I don't want to seem too eager because I still need to talk to Eric and we still have the women scheduled for tomorrow but one more potential nanny is a good thing.

"Sure," says Mary, "Let me write down her name and number." She gets a pen and a small piece of paper from her bag and writes the information before handing it to me.

"Haley Robinson," I say, reciting the name out loud, "Thanks!"

As Mary cleans, we continue to chat and she tells me a little more about her friend Haley. She asks me about school and I tell her about my major and she tells me her son Barry loves all that "brain stuff" too.

Soon she leaves and after I put Annika down for her second nap, I call Eric to tell him about the interviews I scheduled. Pam answers so I give her the rundown including Mary's recommendation of Haley. She says she will let Eric know as soon as she can.

"Sookie," she says, and I brace myself because, really, who knows what will come out of her mouth. "Thank you."

Ok, well, that's nice. "For what, Pam?"

"For caring about him. He told me about that bitch Madden, and if you hadn't made him say something, he would have tried to just ignore it and handle everything by himself. He's used to being on his own, to taking care of himself, but he needs you, Sookie. So keep at him, you got it?" she says this in the way girlfriends would talk to each other and it makes me happy to think we might be becoming friends.

"I got it!" I say, smiling.

"Oh, he wanted me to tell you that he will be very late tonight. He said maybe between 9 and 10 because Madden has him doing some report that she wants early tomorrow. Frankly, I think she's angry at him because he thwarts her advances. But of course, if she wants the report, he has to do it. He was really pissed and sorry that he will be so late for you."

"Well, that stinks. Stupid bitch. Tell him I'll miss him."

"Sure, Sookie. Will do. Bye."

The rest of the day goes by pretty slowly and by the time Annika is ready for bed, I am feeling antsy and bored. She takes her longer than usual to fall asleep, probably because it was a long boring day and we were housebound because of weather. It has been below zero all day. I was practically frozen on my walk from the T station this morning and I have no intention of walking back tonight, especially if Eric will be so late.

And he is late. When I hear his key in the door, I look at my phone and see that it is close to ten o'clock. I quickly text goodbye to Amelia, who has been keeping me virtual company, and stand up to greet him at the door.

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ERIC

Sookie is right in front of me when I finally make it inside my house. She has a big smile for me and it makes the stress of work melt off my shoulders.

"Hi, honey, I'm ho-ome," I call out in a joking manner. She grabs me by the lapels of my coat and pulls me towards her. I lower my mouth to hers and she kisses me like I just came home from war –full of passion and slightly desperate. It leaves me breathless.

"You are so cold, Eric!" she gasps as she backs up.

I grab her playfully and stick my cold hands under her sweater. She squeals and bats at me but I just keep moving my hands over her warm back. In an effort to stay away from the cold, she arches her back and moves forward and that brings her right where I want her –into my arms.

"Ha ha ha! My plan was successful!" I say like a mad scientist. She giggles and smacks my ass. "Mmm, I like that," I say, "But you haven't even seen my naughty side."

"Oh yeah?" she counters, but then I quickly unhook her bra because my hands are on her back and it is just there by my fingers begging to be undone. "Hey!" she laughs.

Her laughter turns to a low moan as my hands come around to her front and tease her nipples underneath her slackened bra. I bring my lips down to her neck and lick and nibble from her clavicle up to her soft lips. Her hand is in my hair and she keeps tugging it harder as my mouth moves over her warm skin. I kind of like it, the hair pulling, and I growl as she yanks my head back up to hers.

"Maybe you're the naughty one," I tell her, "Hair pulling is _so bad_." I lean in to kiss her but she pulls her head back and winks at me. Goddamn, do I want her.

She backs away from me with a twinkle in her eye, biting her bottom lip, and I watch as she pulls off her sweater and lets her bra fall to the floor. Damn, she is so fucking sexy.

I shrug off my coat and suit jacket and leave them in a pile by my feet. She crooks her finger at me, beckoning me forward. Holy shit, she can have me! I'm hers.

She has on these sexy stretchy pants and she pulls them down and then wiggles them off her hips and it reminds me of when I've watched her sway like a belly dancer on my cameras. My dick remembers too and he's now standing at attention, waiting for some, well, attention. Her pants fall to the floor and she steps out of them and then turns around and walks towards the couch.

Oh, fuck. Her fucking panties! I don't know what these are called, women have so many different names for panties. This tiny scrap of lace she has on covers only half of her gorgeous round ass and I use the word cover loosely since they are practically see-through.

"You're killing me," I groan as I follow behind her like a pet. The sway of her hips and her ponytail have me almost hypnotized and I feel light headed as all my blood rushes to other parts of my body.

She stops in front of the couch and my breath speeds up as I remember what I did to her there. I want to touch and taste her again. I reach for her, as I stand in front of her but she steps away from me and pushes me to sit down. I flop down onto the couch and she comes closer to me so I reach up quickly and pull her into my lap before she knows what's happening.

She squeaks in surprise but then my mouth is on hers and she can't make any noise besides her muffled moans. As I kiss her, I let my hands roam over her body and she gasps against my lips as my fingers stroke her over her panties. She's hot and wet, I can tell that through the fabric, but I move it aside so that I can feel her slick skin. I'm still kissing her, so I swallow her moans and her gasps as my fingers move over her clit. She rubs her hand along my cock and bites my bottom lip, tugging it between her teeth. Oh, fuck. I'm going to push her against the wall and fuck her hard and fast if she keeps it up with the teeth.

"Sookie," I say, panting, "Lie down on the couch. I want to taste you."

"No," she says, smiling coyly and rubbing me harder.

If she wants to play that, I can play that. I move the fingers that have been rubbing her clit down and push two inside of her, immediately curling them to find her g-spot. She gasps and grabs onto my shoulders, squeezing hard.

"Sookie," I say again, "Do you want me to lick your clit? Do you want to feel my tongue on you?" I sure as fuck do.

"Oh, god," she says.

"Not really, but I'm close."

She looks at me and I smirk as I push the heel of my hand up against her clit. Her smile falters as she closes her eyes and moans my name. I love it when she says my name and when she moans it, it's a thousand times better. I dip my head and lick each pebbled nipple before sucking one and then gently biting it. She gasps and her hips buck.

"Sookie, lie down so I can lick you."

Finally, she moves from my lap and lies down. I kneel in front of her legs and pull them at an angle, resting my top half on the couch between her thighs. I pull off her soaked panties and lick her with a flat tongue along the whole length of her glistening slit. She wriggles and moans. I push my fingers back inside her and rub her firmly while I suck her clit into my mouth and move my tongue over it. She climaxes almost immediately and cries out loudly.

I lift my head, laughing as I cover her mouth with my hand. "Shh," I say with a grin. I'm just teasing her and she teases back by biting the hand over her mouth. I immediately move it and replace it with my lips.

As she kisses me, she sits up, pushing me back. Once I'm seated on the couch, she kneels in front of me and puts her hand on my very hard and very eager erection and my cock jumps as her fingernails scrape lightly along my shaft over my pants. Seeing her kneeling naked between my legs is such a weird experience. It's such a submissive position and that's not how I see her but I have to admit it's sexy as hell.

She unfastens my pants and pulls my cock out and I stop breathing. "Beautiful," she whispers before she dips down and sweetly kisses the head. Does she think my cock is beautiful? Big, hard, thick- yes, I've heard that but I've never heard beautiful before. I'm wet from being hard for so long and it gets on her lips as she kisses me, making them shiny. She darts her tongue out of her mouth, licks it off her lips, and as she moans, this wave of intense heat sweeps through me starting in my abdomen. I twitch in her hand and she smiles. I'm still completely clothed- tie and everything- and she is completely naked and something about that really appeals to me. It just seems so bad –in a good way. When she finally puts her mouth on me I'm going to embarrass myself by climaxing way too fast. It's just been so long since a woman has had her mouth anywhere near my cock and she feels so good.

She lets go of me and I want to scream _no_! I am so hard right now it hurts but instead of putting her hands on my erection, she is running them up and down my thighs. It feels good, kind of like a massage but that's not what I want right now. Every once in a while she dips her head and kisses my cock and it jumps, which she smiles at. She is looking at me, she knows she's teasing me.

"Snälla," I plead. I need her to touch me.

She knits her brows together. "Was that English?" she asks. I don't know if it was or not, I'm too excited, I'm not thinking straight.

"Please, Sookie!" I say, giving her my best begging face. Doesn't she know how much I need her?

She smiles and dips her head back down to lick the underside of my shaft from base to tip, eliciting an embarrassingly loud groan from my mouth. She looks up at me from under her lashes and grins just before her mouth descends on the head of my cock. Fuck! Her mouth is so hot.

She sucks hard and then takes her hand off me to use both hands to pull my pants further down, exposing me fully. I'm not sure why she does that until I feel her hand cup my balls. My stomach muscles tighten and my hips jump and I'm immediately sorry because I'm not trying to shove myself down her throat. I look at her and she does not look bothered, thankfully. She puts her other hand on my shaft again and takes me into her mouth and soon I'm lost in the sensations she is creating on my most sensitive body parts.

I feel her hair tickling my hip as she moves her head. I feel her hand firmly wrapped around the base of my shaft stroking me in time with the rhythm of her mouth. I feel her mouth, hot and wet, and her tongue, soft and smooth, licking and swirling on the extra sensitive underside of my cock. Her lips are gliding over me, sucking hard. The only sounds in the room are the wet sounds her mouth is making as she moves up and down over me, and my ragged breathing.

Her hand is on my balls, tugging and caressing. Then it moves down under them and I tense, not knowing where her fingers are headed. But they stop right under my sac, pressing into the sensitive flesh there. My hips jerk again. Fuck, that's good. No one's ever touched me there before. It feels so fucking good. But the best part? Her eyes on mine. Fucking sexy. We have this connection right now and it feels like her consciousness is buzzing in my head, like I couldn't look away from her if I tried. It's powerful and alluring.

All these sensations are overwhelming me and as I feel the familiar coil of heat tighten in my belly, I know I can not hold back any longer even if I wanted to. I reach down and grasp her shoulder. I can tell by her eyes that she understands I'm close but then she doesn't move. Maybe she doesn't understand.

"Sookie, I'm gonna cum," I pant, making sure I'm speaking English.

She moves her mouth and I'm relieved that she understands. "Yeah, Eric. Come on darlin'," she says quickly before she goes back to sucking my cock.

_Oh, fuck!_

She's going to let me cum in her mouth! That realization sends a wave of euphoric pleasure crashing through me. Every muscle in my body tenses and I can no longer maintain eye contact with her because my eyes roll back as my head falls back against the couch.

"Oh fuck! Oh my god!" I say before my hips buck and I spill into her mouth with a loud moan. My whole body is tingling and almost vibrating with pleasure that comes in waves with my release. Her mouth, which never moves off of me, keeps working over me until my body unclenches and I relax.

She stands up smiling and kisses me lightly on the lips, where my head is still resting against the couch back.

"Need a minute?" she says softly, with her lips at my ear. The warmth of her breath makes me shiver and she laughs.

"I love it when you do that. You are so responsive to my touch," she whispers into my ear again, this time with her lips lightly brushing my skin. I get goosebumps all over and she laughs again.

"See?" she says, smiling.

"Sookie," I say, taking her hand and looking at her intently, "Will you stay the night tomorrow night?" I hope I can convey, with the heat in my look, just why I want her to stay over. She blushes, so I think she understands.

"I would love to," she says smiling, and her cheeks turn even more red. It's funny to me how she can go from boldly teasing me to shyly agreeing to spend the night.

She looks down and gasps softly, as if she just now realized she is naked. I groan as she walks over to pick up her bra and sweater off the floor. She puts them on quickly and then picks up her wet panties and makes a face.

I stand up quickly and snatch them from her. "You can't put these back on. Let me keep them. I mean, I'll wash them and then you can have them back."

She looks at me suspiciously and shrugs. "Okay, fine, but I want them back."

"Of course," I say, smiling. She will never get these back, I'm sure she knows that. I slip them into my pocket before she can change her mind. They fold to the size of a postage stamp so they fit fine. I zip and button my pants but take off my belt while she pulls on her tight black pants.

"Your ass looks amazing in those, come here," I say pulling her into my arms. My hands go immediately to her ass and I caress and squeeze it.

"Eric," she says, backing up when she feels my dick start to stir, "I have to go now. Will you call a cab for me, it's too cold to walk."

"Yes, of course," I say with a smile. Yes, Then I don't have to worry about her.

I call while she puts on her coat and boots, and then come back out to kiss her for five minutes while we wait. My lips are on hers the entire time, only moving for both of us to breathe. When we hear the honk, we reluctantly part but I'm happy because I will see her in the morning.

"I'll be here around nine o'clock, Eric, but I'll miss you until then," she says sweetly and my heart skips at her words. Watching her walk away makes my chest tighten strangely. I guess because I will miss her too.

I walk upstairs and take a quick look at Anni, sleeping peacefully. I hate when I don't get home in time to put her to bed. At least we have the weekend to spend together.

I get undressed for a shower and then remember Sookie's tiny panties in my pocket. Is it creepy to keep them? Is it creepy to sleep with them? Hmm, probably is. I reluctantly toss them in the hamper along with my clothes but I like the look of our mixed dirty clothes. I'm fucked in the head, right? But if she lived with me, our clothes would mingle all the time. Whoa! Slow down, Northman! Nobody said anything about her living with me.

Shit, I need to take a shower and go to bed. I'm obviously exhausted if I'm considering sleeping with her underwear and living with her already. I shower quickly, trying not to get hard thinking about earlier when her mouth was on me.

I really am tired so as soon as I put on some underwear, I crawl into bed and shut off the light. I see her face perfectly behind my closed eyes and I drift to sleep with a smile.

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**Thanks for reading guys! I hope you liked this chapter! Did you catch their plans for tomorrow night? Oooh! Lol. **

**Do you guys want to stomp Victoria Madden into the ground like I do? Messing with our guy like that- what a bitch! **

**Anyway, I hope you liked this last part! Sookie took care of her man, so no more blue balls, although I think that Eric is going to be like the energizer bunny for a while since he's gone so long without.**

** Please review if you would be so kind! :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry for the slight delay in posting this. My husband was sick all weekend and then I had Easter to prepare for and those two things took up my free time. I still did not get as far as I wanted to with this chapter but I wanted to post something for you to read so I will start right where this one leaves off next time. It's partially written, I'm just not sure I'm all that happy with it.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. A special thank you to all the kind guest reviewers who I can't thank personally! Love you guys!**

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SOOKIE

My alarm wakes me at seven-thirty and I take a quick shower because I have an appointment at eight and I want to go to the store before I have to be at Eric's at nine.

Campus is virtually deserted at this time of the morning during a school break so I have a long lonely freezing walk to the student health center. I dread going to the "lady doctor." It's no fun at all. But the reason I am going, to get on birth control, leads to a whole lot of fun.

Fun like last night. Damn! That man's tongue is heaven. Everything on his body is, really. He is so beautiful and there might be a worry for such an attractive man to be selfish in bed. I mean, I'm sure before he became a single father, he had women throwing themselves at him left and right. Well, actually, I've seen it happen more times than I can recall. He just doesn't have the time to be with all those women now. But he is not selfish. He practically begged me to let him go down on me. I don't even know why I made him ask me three times. Something came over me for sure and I did that extremely uncharacteristic strip tease for him. What can I say? He brings out the wanton hussy in me. But it is _oh so fun_!

The doctor appointment goes quickly since I booked the first one of the day. My arm hurts a little where I got the birth control shot but not too bad. I head to the store to pick up some condoms because I'm staying the night with Eric and I want to be prepared if he wants to have sex. I have to wait a week for my shot to start protecting me but I'm not sure if Eric will want to leave out the condoms then anyway. I hope he does because I like the spontaneity of condom free sex— even if I don't so much like the clean-up. I stash the condoms in my backpack that also has my clothes and toiletries and head down to the subway train that will take me to Eric's house.

As soon as he sees me he pulls me to his chest and hugs the life out of me. Well, that's what it feels like anyway, but I love to be in his strong arms so I don't mind the squeezing.

"Did ya miss me?" I tease but instead of replying playfully, he goes serious on me. Intense, is the word that this look brings to mind and it makes me want to grab his face and tell him how much I love him. It's getting harder and harder to keep that quiet and I wonder at what point it would be okay for me to tell him. If it's not soon, I may burst— or blurt it out at a less than opportune time.

"I missed you so very much, Sookie," he says with such a tender voice and with such soulful eyes that I feel my heart stutter and my stomach flip as I look up at him. My want to profess my love for him increases tenfold and I literally bite my tongue to keep from spilling my guts, or my heart as it were. Instead, I smile at him and reach up to cup his sweet face. I stand on my tiptoes to kiss his beautiful mouth and whisper that I missed him too.

We stand looking at each other in like a vacuum of time in which only he and I exist. And I stare into his eyes until I feel small hands grip my pant leg and look down to see his bright eyed little one looking up at me with an equally bright smile.

"Oh, Annika! I missed you too sweet girl!" I say, bending down to scoop her up. I pepper her chubby little cheeks with kisses because I know it makes her giggle and I swing her around until I notice Eric looking at me with a funny smile. I don't have much time to think about what it means because there is a knock at the door.

Right. Nine- fifteen, skank number one. That's how I feel even if it's not very nice. I'm trying to be open-minded, I am. Maybe these potential nannies will be alright. Maybe they won't want to throw themselves at Eric or throw him to the ground and jump on him like I did. Maybe they will be nice and caring and not have aspirations to end up in his bed.

As soon as the knock sounds, the change that comes over Eric is absolutely fascinating. His posture changes, his face changes, and the air that surrounds him becomes suddenly magnetized. That's the only way I can describe the absolutely powerful way in which he now commands the room. He becomes someone else entirely and it dawns on me that I am now witnessing Business Eric. He just got ten times more attractive and if he can utterly captivate me like this, I fear what will happen when he opens that door.

My fears, as it turns out, are completely justified by the small, stacked, sexy brunette that stands on the other side of the door. Eric stands with the door open and I can see Yvetta standing there in jeans tighter than bark on a tree and with a megawatt smile brighter than the sun. Any residual hope I have of an easy time interviewing these women, goes right out the window...which is, coincidentally, just where I want to throw her!

"Mr. Northman," she purrs in her thick accent, "So nice to meet you." She does that European kiss thing— both cheeks, and Eric dips his head down to her face because I guess he is also used to this. I'm trying not to freak out but this slutmuffin just put her lips on my man— twice!

Eric turns around as I walk up behind him and is momentarily startled at the anger I'm sure he can see on my face. His eyes widen briefly and then his face flushes. Out of embarrassment, or something else, I'm not sure.

"Yvetta," he says, as he puts his hand on my back and pulls me forward to stand next to him, "This is Sookie. She is helping me with interviews." Her name from his mouth...yuck. I don't want to hear that again. "And this," he says, running his hand over Annika's hair, "Is my daughter Annika."

Yvetta's smile, which had faltered when he put his hand on me, now brightens once more but she completely ignores me and reaches for Annika, who is in my arms.

She takes her –just snatches her right out of my arms and my stomach tightens with my effort to keep my mouth shut. I want to tell this baby snatcher that Annika is mine and that she can back the fuck off, but I say nothing.

To her credit, she is being very good with Annika, talking animatedly with her—in French. Smiling and pointing things out to her as she walks around the room. But she has not noticed, or she just doesn't care, that Annika is not entirely comfortable. Annika keeps looking to me and Eric as if to say _who is this woman and why is she holding me_?

Yvetta comes back over to Eric, who takes Annika from her, thankfully. She looks up at him and says in her fucking purr, "I can teach your baby French if you like." Yeah? And I can teach you some fucking manners.

Eric says something to her in French—he really wants me to kick his ass, doesn't he? He can just shut his stupid sexy French mouth. This will not earn him brownie points with me. I will not get turned on if the French he speaks is to converse with this hoebag.

Her eyes widen and she says something back to him in French, smiling and touching his arm and I think I must feel how a hitman feels right before he offs his target. Just this eerie sense of calm, like, yup, I'm about to end your life.

Eric sees me coming up to them and no doubt notices my state of mind. His face goes pink again and he quickly backs up from her touch. Honestly, I feel kind of bad for him. He's not really doing anything wrong and he keeps getting flustered by my reactions. But I still want to kill her.

"Shall we sit down and get started," he says, no doubt trying to keep the peace and keep me from breaking this bimbo's neck.

"Yes, let's sit over here," I say between clenched teeth, walking over to the dining table. We had discussed sitting in the living room but I want to put space between this woman and my man. A dining table will do nicely. I pull Eric so he sits with me on one side of the table, leaving Yvetta on the other side. He gives me a brief confused look but sits down anyway. Good boy, he values his life.

I jump in with the questions after she hands Eric her resume. Every time I look at her, she is looking at Eric. Annika is sitting on his lap, but it's not Annika she is looking at. She watches him and every time he even glances at her, she smiles brightly for him and makes some type of movement to draw his eyes to her chest or her hair. I mean, he's hot, I get that. His smile is panty melting but this is a fucking interview! Be a little more professional! Shit.

"So, Yvetta," I say, after we go over her education and experience, "What would you say is the most difficult part of taking care of a baby?"

"Difficult?" she says, as if I asked her if she juggles in the circus, "What could be difficult about taking care of such a beautiful little girl? Except maybe leaving her with her daddy and going home each night." The way she emphasizes the word daddy, has me clenching my jaw again. Yeah, you are not getting this job, hoe cake.

Eric makes a noise in his throat but I can't tell what it means. Surely he notices her excessive doe eyes and flirty movements.

"Yes, well, when she is sick, it is not so easy," he says and I want to throw my arms around him and kiss him.

"Where are you from?" she asks him, sitting suddenly straighter in her chair. Damn it! Now she will like him even more. It's the way he says 'easy' with the s sound, that gives him away if you are listening for it. And she is hanging on his every word so of course she notices.

"Sweden," he says, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. Knowing he will not want to answer any of her personal questions, I steer the conversation back to the topic we are all here for.

"So, Yvetta, Eric needs someone who is very flexible and can handle late hours. He sometimes works very late, how do you feel about that?"

"Oh, he can keep me here as late as he wants," she says suggestively, "I am _extremely_ flexible."

Oh my fucking god, I'm going to murder this bitch! Her words cause Eric to choke on the water he is drinking and she is pleased as punch by his reaction. I shoot him a glare and he gives me a brief apologetic look. This is not going well.

There are only a few more questions I have for Yvetta so I ask them and she answers while looking at Eric, of course. That is, until he gets up to make Annika a bottle. But her eyes follow him even then and when they fixate on his butt, my hands clench and I wish her neck was between them. Truthfully, her answers are not bad but she is way too flirty for me to be comfortable with her in his house all day. Of course I know it's not ultimately my decision but I hope Eric will take my opinion into account.

As soon as I usher her out of the house, I go to sit next to Eric on the couch where he is feeding Annika a bottle.

"What did you think?" I ask as I flop down next to them.

"She was nice," he says with a shrug.

"She was nice?" I say with a much more shrill voice than I mean to.

He looks over at me, visibly startled by my reaction. "She wasn't nice?" he says, shaking his head slowly.

"She was a whore!"

"Oh, come on," he says, "She was friendly."

"Friendly?_ Oh, Eric, I am extremely flexible!"_ I say, mimicking both what she said and the accent she said it with.

Eric's face turns red. "Ok, maybe that was a bit suggestive," he mumbles.

"A bit? Eric if you weren't holding Annika I think she would have pulled your chair out and straddled your lap!"

"You do?" he says, sounding much less disgusted than I think he should.

I stand up so fast that Annika flinches, which makes me instantly calm down. I sigh and sit back down. "Eric, she's out, okay? She wants to mount you, not take care of your baby," I say quietly.

"Okay," he says hesitantly, like he doesn't believe me.

"Do you like women throwing themselves at you?" I ask, because I am frankly a little annoyed by his attitude.

"Of course not! I just thought she was very friendly."

"Well, think harder, Eric. If you don't nip this stuff in the bud it just gets out of hand. You have to be aware of how you're coming across especially if someone likes you, so you don't lead anybody on."

Something comes over Eric. His face goes hard and dark, and he stands and hands me Annika.

"Can you take her?" he asks with a subdued voice. As soon as I do, he walks upstairs without another word.

What the hell? Why did he get so sullen all of a sudden? When Annika is done with her bottle, he still has not come down so we go looking for him.

The door to his room is closed so I knock.

"Yeah?" he says.

"Can we come in, Eric?"

"Yeah," he says again, sounding like he wishes he could just tell me to go away.

I walk in to find him sitting on the edge of his bed with his elbows on his knees and his head hanging down. He's upset.

"What's wrong, Eric?" I ask as I set Annika on the floor and sit next to him on the bed. I put my hand in the middle of his back and he stiffens and sits up straight, effectively ceasing our contact.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask. I don't know what I did but he's being really weird right now.

"You think it's my fault?" he says with so much anger in his voice that I am shocked. I don't even know what he's talking about.

"What's your fault? I'm not following you, Eric. Calm down."

"No! Don't tell me to fucking calm down! I didn't do a single thing to make her come after me like she does. Not a single thing! I should be able to be friendly to women without them thinking I want to fuck them!" His voice is rough and gritty with a desperate edge, though he is careful not to be loud.

Oh, the bitch he works with. Shit. That's not what I meant by what I said but I can see how he would take it like that.

"Eric, that's really not what I meant. Of course it's not your fault that she won't take your no seriously. That is totally and completely on her. It has nothing to do with anything you've ever done. I don't think it's your fault, honey. I'm sorry if it sounded like I did."

He looks at me for a long moment and then nods and picks up Annika who pulled herself up next to him as soon as he started speaking so angrily. He sits her on his lap and lowers his face to kiss her hair. "I'm sorry, baby," he whispers to her. I know he hates when he loses his temper even a little bit.

I walk around in front of him and reach slowly for him to see if he will let me touch him now. He doesn't resist so I put my hand on the back of his neck and lower my face to kiss his hair. He looks up at me smiling because I copied his actions so I take the opportunity to kiss his sweet mouth. Of course Annika wants some attention too so she squeals and kicks her feet, thus ending our moment. It's fine though, because the other nanny should be here any minute.

"Are you okay?" I ask Eric, "I'm really sorry." I stand up and offer him my hand to help him up.

"Yeah," he says sheepishly. "I should have stayed and talked instead of running upstairs. I'm trying Sookie, I hope you know that. I'm sorry."

"I do know," I say, "Don't feel bad." He looks like a child right now, all big eyes and open features, and for the four hundredth time I feel the urge to tell him how I feel about him, but I don't. Not yet.

He puts his arm around me and I melt briefly into his side. His arms always make me feel so good.

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ERIC

I feel better now that Sookie explained that she wasn't saying that Victoria Madden's advances are somehow my fault. I don't think I flirt at work but I can't help being friendly. If someone wants to take that wrong, that's not my fault.

Sookie and I walk side by side downstairs because the next nanny will be here soon. I hope this interview goes better than the last one. The last girl did not seem very in tune with my baby. She didn't seem to notice that Anni was scared when she grabbed her away from Sookie. Sookie didn't like it either, or her.

If looks could kill, Yvetta would have been dead three or four times over, though I don't think she did anything that bad. When Yvetta answered Sookie's question about what she finds difficult, I swear Sookie even growled at her and I had to cover my surprised noise by clearing my throat awkwardly. Sookie just seemed really mad at me and Yvetta for everything that happened. I was trying to be professional but I just kept messing up, based on Sookie's anger. I hate it when she's mad at me. It makes me feel like shit. But I really wasn't sure what to do because I didn't want to be rude. I have no control over other people's actions. Although I can't say I wasn't flattered by Sookie's jealousy.

The next nanny knocks on the door almost as soon as we make it downstairs and as I go to answer it, I decide that I will make sure I don't throw out mixed signals. I introduce myself and my daughter and then pull Sookie to my side by her hand.

"And this is my girlfriend, Sookie," I say, smiling at her. She looks briefly startled and then gives me one of the biggest smiles that has ever crossed her face. I think her cheeks are going cramp from it! My smile automatically gets bigger because of the sheer joy of hers.

She puts her arm around my waist and it's not until the nanny says, "Nice to meet you both," that I even remember she is there. I pull my eyes reluctantly from Sookie's face and shake the nanny's outstretched hand, which she then offers to Sookie. Hand shakes are better than cheek kisses— check.

So far, so good. I ask her into the living room, which is where we agreed to meet the candidates. I think Sookie just took Yvetta to the dining table because she was touching me too much. Some people just touch other people, though. And she touched my arm so I don't think it was as big of a deal as Sookie thinks. Anyway, I'm not about to make her more angry with me by letting this girl, Janna, touch me at all. Well, besides the handshake.

As Janna breezes past me into the living room, I get a small whiff of cigarette smoke. I know I specifically indicated I wanted non-smokers only on my client profile so unless she was just in a smoky cab, she is out right now as far as I'm concerned. Not that I have anything against smokers, I just don't want one watching my baby all day. She wouldn't be able to smoke around Annika, and that means she will either be wanting a cigarette all day or leaving the baby alone to have one. Not going to fucking happen.

But cigarettes appear to be the least of our worries, is what I realize as we begin to converse with Janna. She is, quite obviously, strung out and I am immediately on edge. Sookie seems to have noticed too and we share a look that says _no fucking way_! So now I have to get her out of my house as quickly as possible because the longer I look at her dilated pupils and strange hyper movements, the more I am reminded of my brother and that's not something I want to think about.

Sookie, who is always so in tune with how I'm feeling, seems to share my desire for Janna's expedient exit and she rushes through an abbreviated set of questions. Janna's answers are fine, and if she wasn't so apparently high, she might be a good nanny. But really, coming to an interview all coked out doesn't not a good impression make.

Finally we are done with her and after I walk her to the door, I turn to Sookie with a sigh.

"Two more left. How are we going to get through those? That was ridiculous! She was so high!"

Sookie laughs a little but then immediately sobers up because it's not actually that funny. "No kidding. A slut and a druggie. That's some great luck you got, Northman!"

"I got you didn't I?" I say smiling as I stalk towards her. "I'd say that I'm pretty damn lucky!"

Sookie looks at me and I am momentarily breathless at the intensity in her eyes. And she says I'm the intense one. But her look is simultaneously heated and... something else —tender? More than that but I don't have a chance to analyze it because the kiss that she plants on me is equally intense and it leaves me more than just breathless.

"Sookie, don't wake the beast if you don't want to get mauled," I say huskily.

"Is that what you call that thing?" she says, pushing her body against mine and her lips to my mouth.

She's about to get pushed against the wall if she's not careful. The only thing that stops me is that I glance at Annika who is walking along the couch and every so often laying her head down on it. She's tired and needs her nap.

"Annika," I whisper before Sookie can kiss me again.

She immediately backs up. "Oh! I'm so sorry," she says.

"It's totally fine, Sookie. More than fine. But she needs a nap," I say, gesturing to Annika, whose eyes are half closed where her head is resting on the couch.

"Let me put her down to sleep, Eric, I haven't had her in my arms enough today."

"No, it's your day off. Besides, I miss her. I missed bedtime yesterday."

"Ok," she says as she kisses me softly.

I go upstairs and change Annika and then sit down to rock her to sleep. "Sookie loves you, lucky girl," I murmur to her, feeling a little bit jealous. Do I want her to love me too? I think it would be okay if she did. But my racing heart betrays my desire and I realize that I do indeed want to be loved by Sookie. Babies are much easier to love though, and I know I'm not. Babies don't yell at you or run away like a child to avoid talking, babies don't freak out when tough emotions are involved—they don't have so many unloveable parts. No, babies are lovable. But still, maybe someday she will love me too. Maybe someday I'll deserve it.

I look down to see that Annika is asleep so I gently put her in her crib and go downstairs to Sookie to hopefully finish what we started.

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**As I said, there is much more of their day(and night) to come but I'm still working on it so I hope this is good for now and I hope to have something else out soon. Hopefully my husband will feel better soon because as much as I want to be, I am not as patient as Sookie! **

**Thank you for reading! A review would make my day!**


	22. Chapter 22

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ERIC

With every downward step I take on my way to Sookie, my heartbeat speeds up as I think about her body and lips against mine. Lust ignites me but that's not what drives me. Something else entirely is responsible for that. No, not something, everything. Everything about her pulls me towards her. Her bright smile, her bubbly laugh, her caring touches and sincere words. I love everything about her. I love..._her_.

I have just reached the bottom of the staircase as this realization dawns on me...dawns on me— more like crashes through me. I am frozen as I try to process what I just figured out. I love her. That explains the butterflies and the racing heart at only the thought of her. I love her! That's why I miss her so much when she's gone and why my chest aches at both her smile and her frown. I fucking love her!

"Eric." I hear Sookie's voice but it is far away. "Eric," she says again, closer.

Her hand on my arm, draws my gaze to hers and she becomes my whole world. Her hand is my anchor because I want to fall into her eyes. But then, like I'm moving out of a tunnel, the room comes back and I see her standing in front of me looking worried. She smiles when I do.

"Where did you go?" she says, slightly amused. "What happened?"

Yes, that's what I want to know. I don't know how to answer her so I don't, which she is not all that happy about. But what am I supposed to tell her? Hey Sookie, I know I'm a shit boyfriend, if I can even call myself that, and I will eventually fuck everything up between us but I love you, isn't that great? Or how about, I am scared out of my fucking mind to be in a relationship but hey, I love you, so doesn't that make everything okay? No, I can't tell her anything of the sort so I will tell her nothing. Knowing I love her will not make it any easier for her when I fuck up and hurt her somehow.

She's still looking at me but I have nothing to say. I'm not good at this, I don't know how to do this. So I do what I know I _am_ good at and lower my head to kiss her soundly. She responds the way I want her to and grabs my shirt to keep me at her lips.

I feel her hand on my pants, unzipping them, and then her fingers brush over my rapidly stiffening cock. She's eager. She's on her knees before I'm even all the way hard but her mouth on me takes care of that pretty quickly.

"Oh god!" It slips out of my mouth without my permission and she smiles and looks up at me.

"No, but I'm close," she says, copying my words from last night, and I smile at her because she's perfect.

When she puts her mouth on me again, it's with such fervor that my knees threaten to buckle and I reach back to grip the banister of my stairs.

"Are you okay?" she asks. Of course I'm okay! Why is she asking me? Fuck!

I think what I manage to say is a very weak and breathy, "Yes."

"C'mere," she says gently, taking my hand and leading me to the couch. She pushes me to sit and kneels between my legs. "You need to sit down, honey, before you fall," she says sweetly to me.

Did I seem that unstable? I guess there is no hiding how much she effects me.

She resumes her earlier actions and it feels unbelievably fucking good but for some reason, and believe me I wish I didn't, but for some reason I feel guilty. I just realized I love her and she's on her knees sucking my cock. I should be making her feel good instead.

"Sookie," I say and then she does something magical with her tongue and I moan and momentarily forget myself. "Holy shit," I breathe before starting again.

"You don't have to do this Sookie."

She looks up at me again and takes her mouth off of me, letting me go, and I want to whimper at the loss of contact. She furrows her brow. "It's not good?" she says.

"Oh my fucking god, no! It's fucking great!" I say with maybe a bit more enthusiasm than is cool.

She smiles at my overeager words. "So then why are you stopping me?"

She has a point. Why the fuck am I stopping her? I know there is a reason but as she pulls my cock up off my stomach and into her waiting mouth, I can't remember my own name let alone whatever I was thinking before.

I run my hands over her hair gently. Not forcing her head down just feeling her soft hair move through my fingers. She is so fucking beautiful and she's on her knees for me but I'm the one who should be worshipping her.

I reach down and pull her up and she releases my cock from her mouth with an audible pop because she was sucking so hard. My eyes roll back for a second but then I stand with her in my arms and turn around so she can sit instead of me. She looks at me, confused as I tuck my dick back inside my pants and kneel down in front of her.

"Sookie, I want to make you feel good," I say, unbuttoning her pants. She puts her hands over mine and sits up so I lean back to look at her face.

"Eric, I like to do that," she says as a blush creeps up her face. "You don't want me to?" She looks confused but I don't know how to explain it to her.

"It's not that I don't want you to–"

"Then what, Eric? You're acting kind of weird."

"I feel guilty!" I blurt out. Oh, I really didn't mean for her to know that.

"You feel guilty? Why would you feel guilty?"

"I don't know Sookie."

"You don't think you're worth my time? You don't think I like to make you feel good, too? Eric, relax, darlin'. Do you want to go upstairs?"

"Upstairs?" I repeat like an idiot.

"Yes. Where the bed is...," she says with twinkling eyes. She pushes me back and stands up. She starts walking up the stairs without even checking if I'm following. I stand fixed to the spot for a second but when she lifts her shirt over her head and throws it behind her followed quickly by her bra, I am drawn up the stairs after her like one of those cartoon guys floating after something good. She is my something good and I want to show her how much I love her even if I can't tell her.

When I get to my room, I find Sookie lying on her stomach in the middle of my bed completely naked. The growl that leaves my mouth is surprising even to me. I want to make love to her but I know we don't have the time now. Holy fuck is she hot!

I want to pounce on her like a jungle cat and just before I jump onto the bed, she squeals and rolls over but she isn't fast enough to evade me. I come down on top of her, trapping her beautiful naked body beneath mine. Yes!

"I've got you now! There is no escape!" I say, hovering over her. My knees are on either side of one of her thighs and my hands are pressing hers into the mattress. I like her underneath me.

"Let me go!" she says and I am just about to get off of her thinking that I must have scared her, when her face lights up and she giggles.

I narrow my eyes at her and bring both her hands above her head, holding them firmly with one of mine. "Oh no, Sookie," I say with as serious a voice as I can muster, "You've woken the beast."

She looks confused for half a second before she smiles at me. "Bring it on," she says, her eyes piercing mine.

So I do. She challenged me, I have to live up to that, right? I start by running my hand over every part of her that I can reach. Sometimes with light strokes that make her squirm and sometimes with firm caresses that make her moan. I still have both her hands trapped so she is helpless to resist me, though with the way her body is responding, I doubt there would be any resistance.

So far, I have not touched any intimate parts of her, a fact that seems to be infuriating her just a little bit. As I make another pass up her leg, stopping just millimeters shy of her wet center, she sighs forcefully and looks at me like she wants to hurt me. It just makes me smile. She is so adorable when she's frustrated.

"You said bring it on. Should I stop?" I know she doesn't want me to stop. She maybe wants to kill me, but she doesn't want me to stop.

"Stop teasing, Eric!" she pleads, "Touch me for real." She parts her legs and I can see how much she needs me to touch her. It makes me quietly groan. So. Wet.

I lower my head to suck a hardened nipple into my mouth as I find her clit and rub it slowly. Her hips rock against my hand and she moans. I love the feel of her in my mouth, any part of her. I lick and suck both nipples before moving my head up to kiss her lips. As soon as our lips touch, I slide two fingers into her wet heat and her mouth opens in a gasp. I take the opportunity to slide my tongue into her mouth to taste hers. I let her hands go and they immediately grasp the back of my neck and my shoulder to keep me at her mouth. Not like I want to go anywhere anyway.

I continue to kiss her as my fingers work in and out of her, making a slick sound because she is so fucking wet. Her grip on my neck gets almost painfully tight and her hips start moving faster so I know she's about to cum. I rub my thumb over her clit and that brings her right to the edge. My mouth on her nipple brings her over and she shudders and moans, digging her nails into my neck. I love to watch her fall apart under my hands or tongue. She is fucking beautiful. I kiss her lips lightly as she lies panting.

Annika cries right then so I remove my fingers, sucking them into my mouth on my way to the bathroom. I quickly wash my hands and as I pass Sookie on my way to get Anni, she is still lying there with her eyes closed, which makes me kind of want to pump my fist in the air because I still got it. But I don't because that's silly, although I do smile on my way out of the room.

"You have great timing, little one," I say as I pick up Annika. I change her and then head back to the bedroom to see if Sookie has recovered. Apparently she has because she's nowhere to be found so we head downstairs. I notice that her clothes are gone from the stairs so she must have gotten dressed already, which is mildly disappointing.

"Key!" says Annika as soon as we walk into the living room.

"Key?" I repeat. It sounds like a deliberate word but I can't think of what she's trying to say.

"Key!" she says again, this time pointing at Sookie.

"Sookie? Are you saying Sookie?" I ask her with a smile.

Sookie's face brightens and she comes over to kiss Annika. "You can say my name!" she says excitedly to her. They are both smiling so brightly and my chest feels like it's going to explode I am so happy. Sookie looks up at me with tears in her eyes and hugs the both of us tightly. God, I want her in my life forever. Nobody has ever made me so happy.

"Well, my girls," I say, kissing both of their foreheads, "Should we go to lunch?"

I take them to a little Italian restaurant down the hill with excellent food and a relaxed atmosphere. The owners know me and Annika and every time we go in, they whisk her away to the kitchen so all the staff gets a chance to hold her. She loves it and I don't mind because I've known the little Italian couple for years. I came here with Sophie a few times and even after, when I showed up alone with a tiny baby, they never asked what happened, or where her mother was. For that, I am grateful and so I frequent their restaurant and happily give them free reign with my precious girl.

"Eric!" the owner greets me by pulling me down to kiss both of my cheeks. "It's been too long! And look at this little principessa, she is so big!"

"How are you, Francesca? Isn't she big? She will be walking soon and she's talking a little," I say, beaming proudly.

"And who is this?" she says, looking at Sookie, who smiles at her.

"This is my girlfriend, Sookie," I say, still very much liking the sound of that.

Francesca pinches my cheek and says in a not so quiet whisper, "Ah, good for you. She is a beauty."

I know Sookie had to have heard that and a glance at her rosy cheeks confirms that fact.

"I know," I whisper back with a wink, just as loudly.

"Let me show you to your table," she says, leading us through the restaurant.

As soon as we are seated, she takes Annika from me and walks away speaking Italian to her. Sookie gives me an incredulous look because I just let this woman carry my baby away.

"They always do that with her. She gets a ton of attention here! You're surprised?"

"A little, but then again, both of you seem to make quite an impression wherever you go."

"Just Annika. Everybody loves her. Luckily she's nothing like me!" I say laughing.

"Just Annika? No way! You too, mister."

I'm sure she can see the doubt on my face because she continues with, "Eric, you turn heads wherever you go. You are tall and gorgeous but that's only on the outside. You're also sweet and thoughtful and just as beautiful on the inside."

I love you is on the tip of my tongue but instead I just smile as heat creeps up my neck. She is just flattering me. I hand her a menu to break the slight tension of the moment, and look down to see what I will order.

"It's true, Eric" she says softly to the top of my head because I don't look up.

We order our food and the owner brings Annika back when it's ready. They made her a little plate with pasta and some soft carrots to eat. I'm a lot better with her eating by herself now so I am only a little bit anxious.

"She's doing so well eating, isn't she?" Sookie asks.

"Yeah," I say, watching her.

"Still makes you nervous, huh?" she says, smiling at me.

"I little," I admit.

"That's just because you're a good dad."

"It's because I'm a basket-case," I laugh.

"Oh, Eric," she says, before she goes back to eating.

We eat quietly for a while until Sookie looks up suddenly with a big smile.

"So, I'm your girlfriend?" she says.

"Um, if you want to be?" Yeah, I guess we didn't really have that talk.

"I do want to be," she says with that same look on her face, the one that leaves me breathless.

We stare at each other in silence for a few seconds and the longer I look at her, the more I want to tell her I love her but we are interrupted by the waitress asking if everything is okay.

"So, the nannies," Sookie says, after the waitress leaves. "What are we going to do?" I like how she says we.

"Well, we can't hire those two from this morning. We still have the one coming Monday, right? And we can call Haley when we get home...what?" She's giving me a funny look, did I say something stupid?

"Nothing," she says, "Yeah, let's call Haley. Maybe she can come in the evening. Hopefully between her and Jessica, something will work out."

"Yeah, hopefully."

Sookie looks inexplicably uncomfortable for a second and I'm just about to ask her what's wrong, when she starts talking. "Eric, I overreacted about Yvetta and I want to apologize. I was angry and stupid but I don't want you to feel like you did anything wrong. You didn't. You were your usual polite self. I was acting like a jackass and I'm sorry. I wasn't mad at you and I hate that I made you feel like I was. She was a skank but you were a gentleman."

She whispers the word 'jackass' which makes me laugh and I smile at her because I appreciate her apology. I did think she was mad at me. "It's okay. You were jealous," I say with a smile in my voice.

"Maybe," she says, blushing pink.

"Maybe?" I tease.

"Okay, I was super jealous! But did you see her? She was gorgeous and French. I can't compete with that!"

I take her hand across the table and look into her eyes. "You don't have to compete with anyone, Sookie. You have me. I'm yours." Ok, well, I hadn't planned on saying anything that ridiculous but it's true...even if it is pretty sappy. I'm just going to resign myself to the fact that she has turned me into a giant puppy who will follow her anywhere, beg for her attention, and piss myself with excitement when she strokes me. Pathetic? Maybe. Worth it? Most definitely!

"Oh, Eric, I'm glad because I want you," she says and then her face goes red when she realizes that what she said could be taken sexually. She starts sputtering, "Oh! I mean, I'm glad you're mine, that makes me happy, not I want you like, um, well, I mean I do but that's not what I meant...oh hell."

I love when she does this so I just sit back and let her ramble while I chuckle at how cute she is. She puts her forehead down briefly on the table and my heart swells because I just think everything she does is adorable.

"I still like when you do that," I say laughing.

"Shut up," she says with a smile.

Annika is looking back and forth between us because we're acting like fools. We have all finished eating so I kiss her cheek as I wipe her hands. The waitress comes with the check and I pay even though Sookie says she can pay for herself.

"Da da!" Annika says, when I pick her up to leave. It still gets me every time she says it and I smile and kiss her again. She leans across me to Sookie with her arms outstretched and says, "Kie!"

I can tell it gets to Sookie just as much by the tears in her eyes. She takes her from me and hugs her tightly, whispering in her ear. I'm sure she's whispering I love you and my heart skips because I want her to whisper it to me too.

"You love her," I say and she looks up at me sharply.

"I do," she says with a nervous smile.

"Well, she's a lucky girl," I say, smiling as I put my arm around them. We walk out of the restaurant and once we're outside, Sookie kisses me – just a light kiss– but she lingers against my lips and it seems more significant than a peck on the lips would normally.

We drive back to the house and play with Annika until it's time for her nap. Once I put her down, I call Haley and she says she can come on Tuesday evening to meet us. She sounds really nice and it gives me hope that we will find someone who will take great care of Annika.

"Well?" Sookie says when I get off the phone.

"She said I sound hot and she wants to jump me," I say but I can't keep a straight face and end up laughing halfway through my sentence.

"Very funny, you big dummy!" she says, punching me lightly in the stomach.

"Hey! No, she said she could come Tuesday evening and that she hopes to end up in my bed." I manage to maintain my composure this time so it takes her a second to get what I'm saying. Once she does, she laughs and punches me again but I catch her hand before it connects with my stomach. I turn her swiftly so that her back is against my front, my arms around her middle, and lower my face to her neck.

"You're bad," she says.

"You have no idea," I say, kissing her neck. I walk us over to the couch as I continue to kiss her. I sit down with her on top of me and she turns around to straddle my lap. We kiss and fondle each other, well I fondle her breasts. They beg for my touch with their perky roundness and I can't keep my hands off of them. She grinds herself against me as we kiss and pretty soon I feel like I'm about to cum in my pants which would be kind of embarrassing.

"Sookie, you have to stop so I don't cum right here," I pant after pulling back from her.

"Oh, well we can't have that," she says and before I know it, she has slid off my lap and has my pants undone and my cock out. I am completely wound up at this point so almost as soon as I feel her mouth on me, I cum with a loud groan and she swallows. I still can't believe that she swallows; she is way too perfect. I mean, it doesn't matter all that much really but it is still kind of spectacular.

"Well, that was easy," she says, sitting up with a huge smile. Oh.

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SOOKIE

Aw, I think I hurt his feelings by insinuating that he came really quickly. He did, though, but he doesn't need to feel bad about it. He was obviously worked up from our make-out session. He's blushing pretty hard but I think ignoring his embarrassment is for the best.

"Hey, Eric," I say once he zips his pants, "What do you want to do for dinner?"

He smiles. "I'm going to cook for you," he says with a proud look on his face.

"Ooh! I can't wait!" I say smiling back. He is so sweet and I love this confident look. Too often he wears self-doubt so this is nice to see.

We spend the time we have alone while Annika sleeps just talking. I tell him about my childhood with Gran and Jason, including how out of place I always felt in my little town. He is an excellent listener even if he doesn't share very much.

Some day I will get him to open up to me, though I can understand his reluctance. He has had a tough life, way tougher than anyone deserves let alone someone as sweet and sensitive as him. I know he tried to harden himself at his father's cruel insistence but he wouldn't be so kind and thoughtful if he had managed to erase who he really is. And I know he sometimes messes up and overreacts with anger but he is immediately sorry so I know he is a good person. He's just fighting hard against everything he was taught as a child even if he doesn't yet recognize how all those lessons have effected him.

"What?" he says because I have stopped talking and am just looking at him.

"Tell me something about your childhood, Eric. Something happy," I ask. I know he has to have some happy memories he can share.

He thinks for a minute looking slightly uncomfortable but he tells me anyway. "Well, one of my favorite things growing up was to go lingon picking. My brother and I used to run through the forrest in late summer while my mother strolled behind us. We'd pick the little red berries and dare each other to eat one." He laughs at this and then continues. "They're really tart so you don't want to eat them plain. We'd race to see who could fill his basket the fastest and we'd come home sticky and exhausted and help Mamma pick through the berries. Then she would make jam and it made the whole house smell so good."

The look on his face as he is talking is just so beautiful and serene and I wish he could always be this happy. I wish all his childhood memories could bring him this much joy. He looks so peaceful right now and I want to hold him and stroke his cheek like a baby. But as he finishes his story, he gets a faraway look in his eyes and just sits there silently thinking. His smile slowly fades from his face and my heart aches at the forlorn look that replaces it. He sits, lost in his memories, for a good while until Annika wakes up. Whatever he is thinking is quickly forgotten and he is Dad again, no longer a sad little boy. He stands quickly and strides up the stairs to his baby.

When he comes down, he looks happy and it strikes me that underneath this beautiful packaging is a man hurting. I mean, I knew that. The things he has told me are not happy things but it hasn't struck me until just now, how good he is at hiding it. The anger is just pain, the sadness is pain, even sometimes the happiness is just masking the pain. And he has gotten good at stuffing it down so that it only effects him when emotions are running high. He doesn't live in it everyday or let it dictate his every move but still, in that small dark quiet place inside of him, he is hurting and the thought of that makes my heart and arms ache for him.

I walk up to him where he is putting Annika down to play in the living room, wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. After a second his arms come around me and we just stand hugging silently. His steady heartbeat under my ear is soothing to me but I want to be soothing to him and I don't know how. Would it make him happy if I told him that I love him? Because it's on the tip of my tongue but I just don't know.

"I love you," I say to his chest before I can stop myself. If I can make him feel even an inkling of happiness knowing he is loved, then I want to.

He pushes immediately back from my embrace and holds me at arm's length. The look on his face is something between disbelief, fear, and joy. And unfortunately, disbelief seems to have a stronghold right now.

"No," he says, and I look at him sharply. What?

I don't expect him to say it back but I thought he would be a little happy about it, so my expectations are dashed when he opens his mouth.

"No?"

"No. Why? No, you don't," he says, looking briefly tortured.

"I do. Why do you say I don't?" I did not expect this reaction even though I know he carries self-loathing like a family crest.

"Why would you?" he says as if he couldn't possibly be lovable.

"What do you mean why would I? Because I do! Because you're you and I love you! Because you're kind and gentle and thoughtful and good!"

"I'm not good! I'm not any of those things!" he says. He starts pacing back and forth across the living room which I know he does when he's upset, when his feet want to run but he knows he can't.

Annika crawls towards him and when he passes her by without acknowledging her, she sits and starts to cry. She is not a clingy baby and I know she is upset because she can sense his strong feelings. I also know that he is going to mentally berate himself for making her cry, for not keeping his cool in front of her.

"See," he sighs as he goes to pick her up and his voice sounds so defeated, like he wants to but he couldn't possibly believe any of those good things I said. He's breaking my heart, truly. My chest hurts looking at his woefully hopeless face.

This man is too beautiful to wear so much pain, too lovely to be so broken. How can I make him believe that I love him, that he is good and that he deserves it?

He is still pacing holding Annika who keeps trying to smile at his face. She knows he is upset and it makes me both smile and ache so see her try to soothe him with her smiles. She eventually catches his eye and he looks at her smiling face. Some of the anguish melts off his face as he kisses her. Her little hands grab his cheeks and she plants a big slobbery kiss on him. He stops pacing, brightens and laughs and that sound is so welcome right now. If Annika could ask for it, I'd give her whatever she wanted just for making him feel better.

He looks at me, still laughing but his smile fades the longer he looks at me. He puts Annika down and holds his hand out to me so I walk to him to put my hand in his.

"Say it again," he says, looking so vulnerable that I will give him whatever he asks for...if I knew what he wanted.

"What?"

"Tell me again," he says and now I understand.

"I love you," I say quietly to him, looking him directly in the eye.

"You love me," he says looking back at me, "I don't know why you do but I'm glad you do."

"Well, I guess that's good enough for now," I say smiling as I squeeze him.

"Sookie," he says and I look up at him, "I love you, too."

"You don't have to say that because I said it, Eric. It's okay if you don't–"

"I love you," he says in a firm voice, cutting me off.

"You love me," I say, sounding just as awed as he did when he said those same words to me. "We love each other!" I say with a huge smile plastered on my face. I am outrageously happy!

"Yes!" he says, coming closer to me, "Yes." And then his lips are on mine and his kiss is nothing like I've ever experienced. His kisses are always excellent, always special, but this kiss that he plants on me now is so heated, so full of unrestrained passion that my knees feel weak and I cling desperately to him to remain upright.

He pulls back from me and I stand like an idiot with my eyes closed, reliving his fiery kiss.

"To be continued," he whispers in my ear.

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**^^^ What he said.**

**Sorry guys, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I hadn't planned for the I love yous to come out now but that's what they wanted so who am I to deny my muse. I wanted them to get through dinner also but that didn't happen. **

**I don't know when I'll have the next chapter out. We are all still down with the flu(now my kids are sick) but hopefully early next week.**

** Thanks for reading and reviewing! I love you guys. Each review brightens my day especially when everyone in my house is so miserable.**


	23. Chapter 23

**So, five-thousand words of fluff and smut are contained herein. I figured you have been waiting long enough, I might as well devote an entire chapter to sex. Enjoy!**

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SOOKIE

Dinner was really delicious. I figured it would be because he seems to know his way around the kitchen and it smelled so good cooking. But he wouldn't let me in the kitchen for a peek or a taste. When he set the table and brought out his masterpieces, I was duly impressed and he was so adorably proud of himself.

Now, as he places his dessert on the table and walks by my chair on his way to sit down, I can't help but pull his face down for a kiss.

"Thank you, honey, that looks really good," I say as I let him up.

"Thanks! It's called kladdkaka—sticky cake. I think you'll like it." He's beaming and I grin at his beautiful face.

He cuts me a big slice of the gooey chocolate cake and puts a dollop of whipped cream on top.

"Um, can I have more whipped cream?" I ask, "I really like it."

"You want more?" he asks, his eyes darkening the smallest amount.

"Mm-hmm," I say, leaning ever so slightly towards him.

I put my finger in the whipped cream on his plate and then bring it up to my mouth. But he grabs my wrist before it gets there and looks me in the eye as he brings my finger to his own lips. He sucks the whipped cream off my finger and suddenly what I thought was going to be a sexy move on my part, turns into him artfully seducing me. I stare, mouth agape, at him until I realize what I'm doing and clear my throat. His smile is warm but slightly smug. Sexy bastard.

I take a big bite of my cake and even though I have been, up until now, successfully suppressing the sex noises when I eat, I am helpless against the soft moan that leaves my mouth.

"You like it," says Eric, shifting in his chair. It doesn't escape my notice the reason why he needs to do so.

"So do you," I murmur, looking briefly down at his lap and then to his smoldering eyes. Our gazes lock but I can still see him swallow hard.

"Can I taste yours?" he says, sitting on the edge of his chair.

"I'm sure it tastes the same as yours, right? I say. His piece is from the same cake so that's obvious.

"Maybe," he says with a twinkle in his eye. "Maybe not."

He comes slowly towards me and cups my face in his giant hands. He slants his mouth over mine and plunges his tongue into my mouth. "Mmm," his chest rumbles. He pulls back from me and my mouth follows after his with no conscious effort on my part. He smirks at me and murmurs, "Yours tastes better."

Oh my god. I'm going to jump him before I even finish my dessert. What is he doing to me? By the time I recover from his glamour, he is eating his cake acting all innocent like he didn't just cause a flood in my panties.

"You're a bastard," I tell him playfully.

"Yes, but I'm your bastard and you love me," he says and while his face is playful at the beginning of his sentence, by the time he says that I love him, his face has gone serious and he looks at me with his brow furrowed and his eyes shining. So much emotion shines from those eyes and I know that he is still coming to terms with the fact that he is so loved.

"I do love you, my darling man," I say as his eyes roam over my face like he's trying to memorize my expression as well as my words.

A brilliant smile blooms slowly on his face as if he is suddenly shy. Like he was trying to but he just couldn't keep it hidden. It's different than his tv smile but no less attractive because this smile is full of love, both bestowed and reflected. My heart just can't take how precious he is. It's going to beat right out of my chest.

"I love you so much, Sookie," he sighs, which causes my stomach to drop and my smile to widen almost painfully. "I've never been so happy," he says and his eyes tell me the truth in his hyperbole.

He's so sweet that I just have to get up and hug him. He opens his arms and his legs when I come to him and I step between them as he pulls my hips towards him. He lays his head against my chest and I lay my head against his hair and never have I felt more content. If I could stand here forever I would. His hair smells so clean and sweet and feels so soft on my cheek and I find myself nuzzling it and breathing deeply like he does against my neck.

"What are you doing?" he says, chuckling.

"You feel good and you smell like heaven," I murmur into his hair.

"I could say the same about you," he says, inhaling deeply with his nose at the v-neck of my shirt. As he does this, he lets his hands wander along my back and down to my butt, giving it a small squeeze that makes me tingle in places he hasn't even touched.

"Eric," I breathe. I won't be finishing my dessert at the point. I back up a step and ask, "Don't you want to finish eating?"

He looks at me with eyes rapidly darkening with lust. "Yes," he whispers. He reaches for the waistband of my pants and pulls me back between his legs. He puts his hands on my hips and then smoothes them up my sides, pulling my shirt up at the same time. He brushes light kisses across my stomach, expelling hot breath on my skin as he moves over it. My heart is skipping through my chest and my breath is getting faster. I curl my fingers into his hair and tug his head back so I can see his face. He growls, which sends heat rushing through my body. This man is pure sex right now. With my hand still in his hair, I bring my other hand to his jaw and lower my head to slide my tongue across his beautiful mouth. His chest rumbles and when I lift my face from his, his look is even more heated if that's possible.

"Sookie," he says in a strained voice with his eyes locked onto mine, "If you want to finish your dessert, do so right now. Sit down if you don't want me to take you upstairs right now." His tone of voice is commanding and I never thought I'd be one for a take charge kind of guy but by the racing of both my heart and my breath, I have just proven myself wrong.

I'm kind of excited to see what he will do so I don't move. I just continue to stare back at him, challenging him to make a move.

He does.

With a groan he stands up, towering over me, crowding me between his giant body and my chair. He puts his hands on my hips and in one swift movement, he picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He slides his hand up my back to hold my neck as he pushes his face up to mine and sucks my lip into his hot mouth. He slides his tongue into my mouth and kisses me with bruising strength and it's all I can do to hold onto him as he ravishes my mouth.

"I gave you a chance. Now you're mine," he practically growls as he releases my mouth.

He carries me quickly up the stairs and into his bedroom. He closes the door after us and kisses me again, this time with more urgency. I remember that he likes when I bite him so I tug his bottom lip between my teeth and I feel his chest vibrate with a deep growl. All of a sudden he slams me against the wall and my breath leaves me in small huff. He pulls back from my mouth and looks at me in concern. I'm sure he did not mean to push me into the wall so forcefully and he wants to make sure I'm ok. I give him a small smile to reassure him that I'm fine and he whispers an apology and then reattaches himself to my mouth.

His tongue dives into my mouth over and over and his hips flex into mine. I can't move much because I am literally between a rock and a hard place. I can only hang on for the ride. His long fingers twine into my hair so he can guide my head where he wants it and I'm happy to be wherever he wants me to be as long as he keeps kissing me. It's a good thing that he's holding me up because with the fervency of his kisses, there is no way I would be standing on my own.

"Take off your shirt," he whispers, pulling back, so I do. "Bra," he pants.

"Yes, sir," I say in answer to his commanding words. But the look in his eye actually scares me and I decide against calling him sir again even though I was kidding. I do as he said and unhook my bra and let it fall to the floor and his mouth is immediately latched around my nipple, sucking and moving his tongue back and forth over my tightening skin. I'm one of those possibly weird people who can orgasm from nipple stimulation only and with the way he moves his tongue and the way it's sending electricity down my body, I am close to a release very quickly. I know I'm moaning and writhing enough for him to unlatch and look at my face.

"Are you about to cum?" he asks with raised eyebrows.

"Yes!" I breathe, pushing his head back to where it was. I don't want it to stop at this point and I don't feel bad being a little aggressive to get him where I need him. He goes back to my nipple with fervor and soon I'm squeezing the back of his neck with my fingers and his waist with my legs as my orgasm sweeps through my body. Breathy moans tumble from my lips and my hips rock against his. As soon as I come back down, his mouth is against mine and he whispers, "Never stop surprising me," before he kisses me.

He moves from the wall and lays me down on the bed with his body covering mine. The weight of him on top of me is divine, and I reach down his back to take hold of the hem of his shirt. I pull it up and he helps me to take it off. So now we are both topless but we have more undressing to do if we want to have more fun.

"Did you buy condoms?" I ask, because the ones I bought are downstairs in my backpack and I want to get them now if I need to.

"I did. Does that mean you want to..."

"Yes! God yes!" I say before realizing I sound way too eager.

"Good," he says with a wolfish smile and I suddenly feel like the girl in the stories who is about to be devoured. Only I'm not fighting it. In fact, I will offer myself up to sate him.

"Take off your pants," I whisper to him as I unbutton my own. He sits up on his knees as I shimmy my pants off my hips and kick them off my legs.

"Mmmm," he groans, low and deep. I love that sound. It sends an electric current down my body every time he does it. "There is nothing to these panties, Sookie. I could rip them off you with one flick of my wrist." Oh my god.

The soft whimper that leaves my mouth makes his eyes snap to mine and his look gets even more heated. "You would like that, wouldn't you?" he says in an impossibly deep voice.

My smile is my answer and I reach to unbutton his pants and yank them down his slim hips. He cocks his eyebrow at me but then maneuvers them the rest of the way off. I palm his erection through his underwear and squeeze hard, which makes him hiss and buck his hips a little. He's on his knees so I get up onto my knees right in front of him. I reach behind him and slip my hands into his underwear, squeezing his perfect ass which flexes in my hands. His hard length presses into me and I can feel it throbbing. His face drops to my shoulder and he brushes whisper light kisses across my shoulder and up my neck. He sucks a little right under my ear and I moan in response to him hitting the spot that drives me just a little crazy. I run my fingertips up his spine because I like the way it always makes him shiver and I am not disappointed by his reaction.

"God, I love that," I whisper.

"Are you playing with me?" he asks against my ear.

"It's just so fun," I answer with a big smile which he can't see because his face is still in my neck.

He nips my neck and I squeak. I feel him smile against my shoulder. "I love all the noises you make. Your squeals and whimpers and the way you moan my name. The way you moan my name makes me want to tie you to my bed so you will never say another man's name like that."

Holy... I never would have thought I'd get so turned on by a dominant man but I would totally let him tie me up. Wow. I know I'm just staring at him but I'm a bit flustered by what he said and my enthusiastic reaction to it.

"Shit, Sookie, I'm just talking. Did I scare you?"

"No! You definitely did not scare me. In fact, I think I scared myself with how much that turned me on," I say to assure him that his naughty mouth is nothing but a turn-on to me.

"Oh, really?" he says with that eyebrow cocked. I fucking love that eyebrow. "You like dirty talk?"

"I've never been talked dirty to but I like to hear what you want to do to me."

Without missing a beat, he starts in.

"Sookie, I want to slide my tongue over your entire body. I want to lick you until you are writhing and screaming and digging your nails into my skin. Until you are a sweaty, disheveled mess with not a bone left in your body. And only then will I bend you over and sink my cock into your heat, driving into you over and over until you scream my name. And I won't let you up until you're hoarse from screaming and your muscles are sore from cumming on my cock so many times. Only then will I find my release and then I'll pull you down beside me and caress your beautiful body until you fall asleep."

Oh. My. God. I have nothing to say to that. I can only stare at him with longing and silently beg him to do what he wants with me. I swallow thickly, my throat suddenly dry. He seems to be at a loss for how to proceed since he's just looking at me, his chest heaving, his eyes dancing across my face as if he's trying to figure out what I would like.

"Make love to me, Eric," I whisper and his gaze, which is alight on my mouth, rises quickly to my eyes. He pulls my mouth to his and captures my lips softly between his. Everything changes and becomes soft and slow and serious and even though he just told me what he wants to do to me I know that's not what he _will_ do.

He slides my panties slowly down my hips and helps me to lie back on the bed where he pulls them the rest of the way off. He kisses up my leg and across my stomach, up my arm and across my shoulder. His lips are warm but he still gives me goosebumps because they are so gentle and light on my skin. He is treating me so reverently, kissing me in only innocent places, showing me that he is a patient man. I am less patient and I reach down to lower his underwear so that he will pull it off and free himself. He smiles as he pulls back to look at my face while he takes them off. His manhood stands thick and proud and I am suddenly not so confident that it will actually fit inside me.

He sees me looking at him and I must look worried because he draws his fingers down my body to the wetness between my legs. "I'll be gentle," he whispers before two fingers slide inside me. My hips rock with his hand and I am aware of his eyes on me, just watching while I come apart in his expert hands. I don't know whether to be embarrassed or impressed that he brought me to orgasm in less than two minutes with only two fingers. He removes those fingers and licks them as I lie trying to catch my breath.

My eyes roam over his body from his beautiful face to his strong thighs and everything in between. His weeping erection catches my eye and I push him to lie down because it's my turn to worship his beautiful body.

He's like a Ken doll. He has a distinct line where his leg attaches to his torso and I lick across each curve on both sides. I can see his magnificent hard-on straining up at me and there is a trail of precum from his belly to his tip glistening like a dew covered spider web. His erection bobs up and down as it throbs, waiting for me to touch. His soft moan is my reward for pumping my hand along his shaft. He hisses and shudders when I draw my thumb through the wetness seeping from his tip. A strangled plea makes me lean down and lick, a whispered curse makes me suck him into my mouth.

He moans and arches his back when I slide my tongue along the ridge of his head but then he reaches down and pulls me up his body. "I can't wait any longer, Sookie. I need to be inside you. Please," he says, his voice strained with the hard-fought control threatening to evade him at any second. His eyes are soft but the set of his jaw belies his easy restraint and I can tell that he is barely holding onto himself.

I lay my body down on top of his and he deftly flips us so that I am underneath. He reaches into his bedside table for a condom and quickly sheaths himself. He kisses from my mouth over to my ear where he whispers, "Are you ready for me?"

I nod. "Go easy, okay? That thing is way bigger than anything that's been inside me before."

He laughs softly. "I promise, love. Just tell me to stop and no matter what, I will. Okay?"

He kisses me thoroughly as he positions himself to enter me. He pushes in so slowly and he never stops kissing me that I don't notice anything uncomfortable at all. It just feels good. Unbelievably good to be filled so deliciously by Eric. But a look at his face tells me that he is not so unaffected by his slow entrance. He needs to move, he wants to thrust his hips, he longs to claim me in a primal way.

But he does not. He pulls out almost as slowly as he pushed in and sets a languid pace with his hips as he makes love to me. His eyes never leave mine and I know he likes the eye contact so I look at him too. I put my hands on his arms and feel his straining muscles keeping his weight off me. But I want to feel his warm slick skin on mine so I pull him down to rest his chest on my breasts. I slide my hands down to his fabulous butt and squeeze it and as I do, he swivels his hips in a way that makes me cry out. I muffle my loud response by biting his shoulder.

"Oh fuck!" he says and he goes completely still.

"What? What happened?" I breathe.

"Give me a minute," he pants with his eyes closed and brow furrowed. Maybe his stamina has lessened because he hasn't had a partner in a while.

I stop moving my hips but my inner muscles squeeze him almost by reflex because my body craves the friction of his and he's still buried inside me.

His eyes fly open when he feels it and he looks like a wild animal. He is barely containing himself, almost undone by his desire.

"Sookie," he grunts. "Stop. You need to stop."

"Are you close?" I say. "It's okay. We can just do it again after."

"No," he grits out, his jaw tense and flexing. "I don't want..." he trails off, panting. "I want to be gentle, but I..."

He looks at me and my breath hitches with what I see in his eyes. He is only _just_ hanging on and he looks more animal than man— a predator, his eyes dark and fevered. His gaze is steady and piercing, almost scary in its intensity, but still the thought of being fucked hard by him is nothing but a turn-on. I can understand his want to take this slow however, he wants to make love to me, so I will let him calm down.

As he looks at me, I can see his struggle to come back to himself, to regain his control. After a few tense seconds, his eyes clear and he sort of half laughs/ half grunts and I feel him jump inside of me. I'm just waiting for him, running my hands lightly up and down his back so he can calm himself.

"Sorry," he says. "You're just so tight and hot and then the teeth, I just..." He breathes slowly for a moment longer before smiling at me, "Okay, I think I'm okay."

He pulls his hips back and slides almost all the way out of me and then drives himself back in with steady force. His angle has changed and he hits my g-spot, causing me to gasp.

"Yes! Right there! Yes!" I say.

He does it again and over and over and my stomach clenches tighter and tighter as I feel the familiar build up inside.

"Look at me," I hear him say and I realize my eyes are closed. I open them to look into his eyes and the raw desire and barely contained passion I see on his face brings me over the edge and everything tightens as euphoric spasms wrack my body. Some type of strange high pitched moan leaves my mouth and I would be embarrassed but I feel too good. Wave after wave of intense pleasure leaves me breathless and unable to speak.

Once he sees that I am coming down, he lets go and works his hips faster, grunting each time our hips meet. And the only time when he does not look into my eyes is right now as his eyes roll back under heavy lids and he groans long and low, pushing himself deep into me as his body tenses and his muscles strain with his release. It's a beautiful thing to witness and to know that I am the one giving him so much pleasure that his skin is glistening with sweat and his muscles are taut with ecstatic bliss.

Minutes later, as we lie side by side, Eric lazily drawing light fingers down my back and hip, I have a sudden thought.

"I have to admit, Eric," I say, "I was worried about sex with you."

"Worried, why?" he asks, furrowing his brow.

"Well, because I had built you up so much in my head I wasn't sure..."

"The reality would live up to the fantasy?" he finishes with a small smile.

"Yes."

"And how'd I do?" he asks with some amount of worry in his voice.

"Better than Vivaldi!" I laugh. He smiles at me and his smile turns into a laugh. But then he stops laughing and his look turns heated once again.

"That was Summer...You ready for Winter?" he asks with a suggestive leer.

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ERIC

My body is thrumming with excitement still and even though I just had some of the best sex of my life, I am ready for more. It's been so long since I got to enjoy a woman's body and I plan to make the most of this night by having Sookie a couple more times before we exhaust ourselves. If she wants me, which given the level of desire in her eyes when I asked her if she was ready for Winter, should not be a problem. My cock fits her body like I was made for her or maybe it was she who was made for me since she's younger. Her body is so soft and curvy and responsive to mine and I can't help feeling like I've hit the jackpot.

She is everything I could want in a sexual partner but what's even better is that there is nothing more I could want from her as a mate in life. She is my match in every way and I love her so fucking much. And I am so lucky that she apparently loves me just as much. I am going to do everything humanly possible so that I don't mess this up. So that she will want me for a long time to come because I know I will want her for a very long time.

If I'm being honest, I can't figure out why she does love me after all the crap I've put her through with my moody, uptight personality. I don't quite understand how she can look past all the shitty things about me but she says she loves me and I believe her. And it feels good. It feels fucking amazing to be loved by her. To be the one she gives her body to, the one she looks at breathlessly, the one she caresses gently, and talks with tenderly. Yes, it feels so good, it feels so good and I hope it always feels like this.

"Eric," Sookie whispers, bringing me back to the moment. She smiles at me and cups my cheek. "Will you tell me what you're thinking so hard about?"

"Your love. It feels good. I'm so happy for it, for you. I'm just so happy."

She looks at me with tears in her eyes but I really didn't mean to make her cry. "Oh, baby, you have no idea how good it feels to hear you say you're happy."

I like all these names that she calls me. I love my baby so unbelievably much and if she loves me even half that much, there is nothing else I could want.

"I love you, Sookie. I love you so fucking much."

"Show me again," she says, kissing me softly.

So I do.

We made love before—slow and sweet and beautiful. But now, we are a frenzy of lips and mouths and hands and bodies. I can't get enough of her and I can't hold back my baser self anymore. I take her from behind, letting my animal out, pounding into her, and she meets my every thrust. When she cums, she screams out and I have to yank her up and put my hand over her mouth. I feel bad about covering her mouth as I drive into her faster and faster to find my release but it's also kind of hot, especially the way she is biting me.

Biting really gets me going and I cum after a few more hard thrusts and pull her down next to me as I collapse onto the bed. After I get rid of the condom, I reach for her so she will lay her head on my chest. She caresses my stomach and chest with light strokes that make me feel loved and wanted. I touch her face gently and tuck her damp hair behind her ear and I can only hope she feels as cherished by me as I feel loved by her.

"Thank you, Sookie," I whisper to her as I lay my cheek on her hair and inhale her sweet scent.

"For what?"

"For loving me, for showing me your love, and for making me believe it."

She does nothing for a long time and I think maybe she fell asleep but then she presses a lingering kiss to my chest, over my heart, and raises herself up to caress my face. With glistening eyes she murmurs, "Never stop believing it, my sweet beautiful man, because it will never stop being true," and my heart speeds up at her promise.

We fall asleep locked in each other's embrace— legs tangled, hands clasped, chests rising and falling together and though I can barely move, I have never slept so soundly or so peacefully.

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**So...the moment finally arrived! I hope it was worth waiting for. Please let me know! Writing lemons can be nerve wracking in and of itself, but writing lemons that readers have waited two months and 23 chapter for is somewhat terror inducing! So, if you could please review and let me know how you liked this chapter, I will love you forever! Even if you didn't like it and there is something I could do better, let me know for next time or you will be stuck reading this drivel for 20 more chapters! ;)**

**Please, help a girl out!**


	24. Chapter 24

**This chapter is another bit of fluff and smut with some meaningful things tucked in here and there. Enjoy! Ha ha, I just realized how long this chapter is. What can I say, I like imagining these scenarios!**

**A couple people told me they wanted to make kladdkaka—I'd love to hear how it turned out. And if a tall sexy Swede arrived at your doorstep to sweep you off your feet and eat your...cake, you better let me know right away! ;)**

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ERIC

I am woken up by warm wet kisses trailing down my stomach. When they stop inches from my eager cock, I open my eyes to see Sookie looking up at me with a smile. Looking around, I realize it's not morning because it's still dark outside.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"I don't know...three o' clock?"

"Three o' clock? You can't sleep?"

"We went to be too early."

"Looks like I didn't properly wear you out. Next time I won't be so remiss," I say, sitting up and pulling her back down with me. I start to roll on top of her but she pushes her hand against my chest.

She climbs on top of me and leans down to brush her lips across mine. "Nope, my turn cowboy. Lie down," she says with a pronounced Southern drawl. Oh, shit, that accent is so fucking sexy!

"I'm yours," I say, laying my arms down on the bed and my head back on my pillow. She can ride me, I don't give a fuck. As long as I get to be inside her.

She smiles and backs up, running her hands down my chest and stomach, but she bypasses my waiting cock and continues to run her hands down my thighs. Ah, fuck. She's going to fucking tease me. I don't do being teased well. She did it before and I was just so excited that she was between my legs that I let her, but I hate it. I get impatient and then I get mad. But I will try to just lie here for her because I love her and I'm sure she won't tease me for long. It's fucking three AM, right?

But as she skips over my cock for the third time, I growl in the back of my throat and she looks up at me. But she just looks devilish, she doesn't care that my cock is so hard and so ready that I'm leaking all over myself.

"Sookie," I say gruffly, "I don't like to be teased."

"Oh, hush, you. Relax," she drawls. I don't know what I was expecting her to say, but it wasn't that. And is she trying to drive me wild with the Southern thing? She doesn't usually sound like this. Fuck!

"Please, Sookie," I say, trying a different angle to get what I want. She's making me fucking crazy.

She looks at my face and I don't know what she's thinking but whatever it is, it makes her look even more mischievous. I don't think she's going to give me what I want. I can feel my chest tightening with my darkening mood and I don't want to feel like this but fuck! This is fucking maddening!

"Are you cursing at me in Swedish?" she asks with a glint in her eye.

Fuck! Am I? "I don't know...sorry?"

She laughs, a full on belly laugh, and where I have always before thought her laugh was like the sound of angels, right now, it's not making me happy. It's making me think of the devil.

I just look at her while she continues to laugh. I'm lying here with my cock throbbing and she's laughing.

"Aww, baby," she says as she collects herself and caresses my face, "Don't scowl. You're too pretty to make that face."

"Well, touch me and I won't," I tell her. _Touch me, fuck me, blow me, _something_ me,_ I want to whine.

"I was touching you." Uh, no. She was teasing me.

"Touch my cock. Look at him. He wants you," I say, making it jump. I'm trying to sound pitiful but I don't know how successful I am.

"He?"

"Well, it's not a girl. Look at him...all male," I say, trying but failing to be serious.

"Yep," she says, biting her lip, "So manly."

I narrow my eyes at her. "Are you making fun of my cock?"

"Of course not!" she says with mock indignation, "I would never make fun of your..."

"Cock." She doesn't want to say the word so I supply it for her.

"Yeah, that," she says quickly.

"Sookie, say 'cock'."

"Why?"

"Because I don't think you can." And if she did, I'm sure she would turn bright red...which is fun too.

"Sure I can. I was just raised better than that."

"So you can suck it and fuck it but you can't say it?"

"Eric Northman, there is no need to be nasty!" she admonishes and for a second I actually feel ashamed. She's going to be an excellent mother. She already has the tone down.

"I'm sorry. Do you want to punish me?" I ask but then immediately think better of that idea. She was already punishing me by refusing to touch my aching cock. "Nevermind," I say quickly, "You already were. Please touch me, Sookie. I'm dripping for you. Do you want me to beg?"

She gets that look in her eye again and glances down at my cock, dripping with precum. "Beg," she says. What? She must see the incredulous look on my face because she grins and says, "I'm kidding," and I'm relieved. I'm not even sure if I would have begged or not. I've never had to beg a woman for sex before but who am I kidding, I'd fall to my knees for her.

She crawls up my body, straddling my thighs, and picks up my cock, pumping me firmly. Fuck. Just her hand feels unbelievable and my hips involuntarily leave the bed as I moan. She climbs on top of my hips and starts to position me but I reach for a condom.

"Oh yeah," she says, "I can't wait until we don't have to use these." I know they kind of suck but I don't know when I'll feel comfortable having sex without them. I don't want another baby right now, especially if her mother doesn't want her. I can't do that to another innocent child. Now is not the time for that conversation, though, so I just smile and nod as she takes the packet from me and opens it.

She rolls the condom on and then positions me at her entrance again. She sinks down onto me and I can't help but to throw my head back at the sensation of her tight heat surrounding my aching erection.

"Fuck, Sookie. I think you were made for me."

"Well, Eric, aren't you sweet!"

"Not really," I pant, "I mean you feel fucking perfect around my cock."

She laughs. "You are so wicked."

"Damn. When you laugh I can feel it. Your muscles squeeze me."

"Like this?" she says, squeezing again.

"Fuck," I groan, giving the word about three syllables. She pinches my nipples and I'm so close to bucking her onto her hands and knees so I can fuck her hard the way I want. I grab her hips and start to move her up and down harder on my cock as I thrust into her. I like to be in control during sex. It's hard for me to submit at times but I can do it—at least for a while. Sookie's tight body and roving hands have used up about half of my self-control. My thread is fraying rapidly as she runs her hands up and down my torso and pinches me again. But it snaps as she leans down and licks and then bites my nipple.

I sit up with my arm around her back and quickly switch our positions so that I'm on top. I am so much bigger than her that I can basically put her wherever I want her. Of course, she is not a rag doll and I would never treat her as such but she seems to like our new position. She's looking at me with heat in her eyes and as I lean down to kiss her, she bites my lip and I swear I hear a growl that did not come from me. She must have figured out how much I like biting. It flips my animal switch.

"Fuck me, Eric," she says, holding my gaze, "—Hard."

"Fuck, yes!" I answer as a wave of lust threatens to overpower my sanity. I pull out and stand on the floor next to my bed and then grab her legs to bring her to me. She laughs as her body slides across my bed but she stops laughing when I slam back into her. I put my hands on her hips and fuck her hard like she wants.

"Eric," she moans. Yes! That's _my_ fucking name!

We are both sweating and panting as I continue to drive myself into her. She is so goddamn hot, I can feel the difference as I slide in and out. I'm going to fucking cum so hard. I feel the build up in my groin but I need her to cum first.

"Sookie, do you like my cock inside you, filling you up? Does it feel good? Cum for me, lover. Cum on my cock as I pound into you," I say. I know she likes when I talk dirty to her.

"Oh god," she pants and her muscles clamp down on my cock. Goddamn, I want to cum. Heat spreads through my body and I lean down to lick and suck her pink nipples. She came before with just my mouth on her nipple, which was fucking hot and a fucking surprise.

She writhes and moans on my bed, tossing her head back. The fucking sounds that come out of her mouth! I am actively holding back my orgasm now but the delicate curve of her neck is calling to me. I want to bite her so badly. Bite the golden smooth skin of her neck that is stretched taught as she arches back in pleasure. But I don't because I know if I do, I will fucking detonate.

"Fuck, Sookie," I breathe. My chest is heaving, I need to cum. My muscles are contracting, my heart is thundering, my fucking balls are so tight they're tingling. I'm about to fucking explode.

In the next second, she does explode. Loudly—which I should have been expecting. She claws at my back, her nails digging into my skin and I cover her mouth with mine to swallow her cries of pleasure. My body is now flush against hers but I have to leave her warm skin to arch my back as my orgasm crashes through me—I just can't hold it. I pull her down until my hips meet her thighs and as I grind into her I grunt and pulse until I have nothing left. She draws from me, my entire consciousness. The room is hazy as I collapse onto her and I can think of nothing else but her slick skin on mine.

We are hot and sweaty, mouths open as we pant. Her face is against my neck and her breath on my skin makes me shudder with an aftershock of ecstasy. My body feels like lead, I can't move. I can't even pull out of her and we are still attached—one animal with two galloping hearts. We lie together in silence just catching our breaths and I'm thankful that she doesn't expect me to form coherent words right now.

"Goddamn, Sookie. I fucking love you!" I say once I have recovered enough to speak, "That was fucking incredible! So fucking unbelievable what you do to me!"

"I can tell," she says with a smile, "You're cursing up a storm."

"I'm sorry. Do you want me to stop cursing?"

"Eric, you can say whatever the heck you want as long as you can make me feel like _that_!"

I laugh and kiss her cherry lips before I reluctantly pull out of her heat to clean up. She crawls up the bed to lie down and I lie down next to her. She scoots up close to me and lays her head on my chest and she sighs as I stroke her hair and her bare shoulder. She has the softest skin.

"I love you, too. I forgot to say that. I love you so much," she says softly.

"Sookie, it's okay, I can barely think straight after that. Your soft skin on mine, your body tight around me, your moans and the way you move. The way you breathe! How you look at me, your eyes so intense and full of love. That's all that's running through my mind."

"You have a poet's heart, Eric," she says as she lightly strokes her fingers across my stomach and hips. "Sweet, sensitive— you feel everything so deeply. There is so much love in you, you have so much to give and I just wish you believed that too. You are a beautiful person, inside and out."

"Hmm," I murmur just before my heavy eyelids close.

The next time I wake up, the sun is shining and after listening to the birds for a couple seconds and thinking about how gloriously happy I am, I realize that the sound that really woke me up is my baby across the hall babbling to herself in her bed. I get slowly out of bed to go get her while I marvel at the fact that I actually slept all night—well apart from the brief but very satisfying wake up with Sookie—and that I slept in until after eight o' clock. I have never slept so well and I wonder if I could convince Sookie to sleep in my bed every night from now on. Yeah, right, but it would be heaven to be wrapped in her arms every night.

I dress quickly in lounge pants, brush my teeth, and go get Annika before she cries. I don't want Sookie to wake up yet. Hopefully she is tired out enough to stay asleep for a little while longer. I want to make her breakfast in bed.

"Hej, min prinsessa. Hade du ljuva drömmar? (Hello, my princess. Did you have sweet dreams?)," I ask Annika when I pick her up. I change her and dress her and then we go downstairs to work on breakfast.

I sit Annika down and ask her what she wants to eat like she will answer me. But, to my surprise she points to the bright yellow box of cheerios that she can see on the kitchen counter! I can't wait to tell Sookie how smart she is and as I smile like a fool at my daughter, I realize that it's always Sookie who I want to share my happiness with, and it's Sookie who I want to share my baby with.

"Jag älskar dig (I love you)," I say to Annika, kissing her forehead. She grabs my face before I move away and I come closer to her because she wants to kiss me too. Baby kisses are the best thing, so slobbery but wonderful and I laugh as I wipe my cheek.

After I get Cheerios and a cup of formula for Annika, I cut up some fruit for her to eat while I cook breakfast. I make ham and cheese omelets and toast for me and Sookie, put everything on the tray I bought yesterday morning after I went grocery shopping, and then freak out for a second because I have no idea how I'm going to get all the food and Anni upstairs. Shit! I decide I'll bring Annika up first and put her in her crib and then bring up the food but Annika's little face crumples when I put her down and now I don't know what to do. I pick her back up and pace across her room trying to figure it out. Breakfast in bed should not be this complicated! Okay, well, I'll just put her in bed with Sookie—oh, wait, Sookie is naked. Damn it! Mmm, Sookie is naked...goddamn it, Northman, this is not the time!

Ah, fuck. I don't know what to do. Wake Sookie up? I guess I have to because she needs to get dressed. I slowly open the door to my bedroom and find that Sookie is already awake—and dressed. So, yeah, I freaked out for nothing. Isn't that how it always goes?

"Good morning, beautiful," I say, smiling down at her, "I have a surprise for you but you need to take Anni so I can go get it."

She smiles back at me and my heart flutters, or maybe it's butterflies again, but something happens when she smiles.

She reaches for Annika, who stretches her little arms to Sookie. "Come here, sweet girl. How are you this morning?" she coos, hugging her tightly, and more of those goddamn butterflies invade my stomach.

"I'll be right back," I say, walking quickly out the door. I hope the food is not cold. I go downstairs and pour a cup of coffee for myself and orange juice for Sookie, grab the tray and head back up.

"Breakfast for you, m'lady," I say with a slight bow and her eyes light up. "Because you expended a lot of energy last night—and this morning," I say with a wink as I watch her whole face turn pink.

"Eric!" she chastises.

"What?"

"You're so bad."

"I am," I say with a wicked smile. We stare at each other for a second, exchanging silent seductions and the air becomes charged, but the spark dies when Sookie looks away. Now is not the time anyway.

"So my baby, my boyfriend, and breakfast in bed— what could be better than this?" she says, grinning.

Her baby? Oh, how I wish that was true. What I wouldn't give for my Anni to be hers too. She must notice the strange way I am looking at her because she starts to do that rambling thing she does when she's uncomfortable with something she just said.

"Oh! Well, not _my_ baby. She's not mine, obviously, she's yours, but, well, I love her so that's why I said–"

"Sookie!" I say, cutting off her rambling words, "I know what you meant. It means everything to me to know that you love her. Believe me," I say, feeling an unwelcome tightness in my chest. Annika deserves a whole world of people who love her and for far too long she had only me. I am not enough.

"Okay," Sookie says, looking at me like she can see right through to my heart. I'm sure she probably can.

"Shall we eat?" I say. When you don't know what to say, stuff your face, right?

"This looks great, Eric! You must have gone shopping."

"Someone told me to," I say but I regret it because she looks at me with such sorrow that I know she must still feel bad for the other morning. "Sookie, don't feel bad. You were just trying to help me. You know me, I always overreact. But I wasn't doing a good job and you helped me, so thank you." She still looks sad.

"Eric, honey, I wasn't trying to say you weren't doing a good enough job. Just that she is getting bigger all the time and will be eating regular food soon. Not that baby food for a ten-month-old is wrong, because it's not. Plenty of people give baby food at that age. I don't like that you think you weren't doing a good job. You are an excellent father. You are doing an excellent job."

She's looking at me and waiting for my response but I don't know what to say. I'm not a total failure but there is nothing _excellent_ about me. After another second she looks away, probably because she figures I'm not going to say anything, and she's right.

"This is so good, Eric!" she says around a mouthful of omelet.

"Thanks. Do you want orange marmalade on your toast? I'm afraid that's all I have. But it's directly from Sweden!" I say with a smile. My friend always sends it for Christmas along with some other things I miss.

Annika sits down right in front of Sookie like she wants to share her meal and we both laugh. Sookie hands her a piece of toast and though my heart stutters thinking about her with such a big piece of food, I don't say anything.

"Oh! Is that okay?" she says, gesturing to Annika, who is humming while she sucks on the toast.

"Sure," I say, with more confidence than I feel. But if Sookie thinks it's okay then I'm sure it is, and besides—I'm not about to take something away from my Anni that has her making that happy noise.

"Do you miss it?" she asks with a soft, kind voice and I know instantly what she's asking me.

"So much," I sigh, letting myself get lost in memories of home. It's not until I feel Sookie's fingertips skimming along my arm, that I realize I blanked out. I don't know how long I've been sitting silently but I appreciate that she doesn't ask me what I'm thinking. I don't allow myself to think of home often, but Sookie has a way of digging under my surface and making me feel things that I'd rather not.

She takes my hand and pulls it into her lap and as she runs her fingers gently over my palm, I close my eyes and just enjoy being touched by her. I like every single way she touches me, from her soft caresses of my face and the way she smoothes her fingers over my brow and cheeks to her bold stroking of my cock and the way she rubs her thumb over that extremely sensitive spot that makes me moan and shudder. She has me all figured out. She knows exactly how to touch me—how to make me melt or heat up or stand frozen, how to gentle me or turn me wild. Her touch is excruciating and exhilarating all at once. I crave it, I crave her, and as much as it terrifies me to need someone so acutely, I realize that I do. And not just for what she does to my body, but for what she does for my heart, for my life. She is sunshine in the darkness, an angel in my world of demons and I ache for her. She overwhelms me but I will let her even though I'm often scared to death when I think about it. Because I love her, so fucking much and I want her so goddamn bad it hurts.

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SOOKIE

As I stroke Eric's bare arm, and watch his reaction, I can't help but think that he has gone somewhere inside himself. I knew asking him if he missed Sweden might risk him freaking out a little but it seems he has gone silent instead. It's okay, I can wait him out. I'm patient. I know he needs space to work through whatever is causing such conflicting emotions to flicker across his face as he sits quietly staring into nothing. His eyes are open but unseeing and his face is moving from contentedness to sadness to anger and back. After a couple minutes, he seems to realize I'm touching him and he looks at me with stormy eyes that remind me of the pale blue of a winter ocean.

I pull his hand closer and softly trace over all of the lines on his large palm. He sighs and his eyes close. I don't know what he's thinking about this time but whatever it is, it's causing his breathing to pick up and his heart to race. I can see the little vein in his wrist pulsing in time with his heart and it's getting faster the longer he sits in silence. Finally, he opens his eyes and looks at me with such intensity that I squirm under his piercing gaze. His look is like sex eyes wrapped in tender affection. Love and desire and they both share equal dominion on his face.

"Eric," I breathe, pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand. His hands are beautiful, like the rest of him. Big and masculine, but beautiful none the less.

He clears his throat and pulls his hand away, ending our fervent moment.

"I'll clean up," he murmurs, getting up with the breakfast dishes and walking to the door.

"I'll wash the dishes," I call after him, to which he only grunts. Sometimes he's like a caveman, barely acknowledging that he understands what I'm saying to him. But then sometimes he is a poet and his words are romantic and heartfelt. I wonder what goes through his mind a lot because his eyes let me know that he's thinking but his mouth is often silent.

"Well, Annika, I'm gonna get to him," I sing song to her, picking her up as I get off the bed. We go downstairs to find Eric cleaning up the kitchen.

"Ow! Hey!" he says with a laugh as I swat his cute little butt. "What's that for?"

"Let me clean up, Eric. Shoo," I order as I hand him Annika and push him out of the kitchen. He drops a quick kiss to my forehead before he goes into the living room.

After I'm done cleaning up—and it took a while because I think he used every available dish, utensil, and flat surface in his kitchen—I walk out to find Eric sitting on the couch with Annika, speaking softly in Swedish. She's next to him, sitting just like him, and the sight of her tiny body next to his giant frame makes me smile.

"What are you talking about?" I ask. I love to hear him talking to her. His voice is so gentle when he does.

He smiles and leans into Annika, "Don't tell her," he whispers loudly so I can hear.

"Very funny, Northman," I say with narrowed eyes and my hands on my hips.

His eyes darken instantly. "When you call me by my last name it makes me so hard, Sookie," he says in a deep voice.

How is it just the sound of that seductive voice makes me tingle in naughty places? "Eric!" I admonish, "Little ears are listening."

"Little ears don't understand but this not so little thing loves what you say to the big oaf attached to it."

"Settle down, big boy," I say with a wink, to which his eyes darken even further. "I'm going to go take a shower. Is that okay?" I ask to change the subject. But his look is still heated and he tells me no.

"Wait until Annika goes to sleep and then you can take a shower with me. Showers are so much more fun with a partner, don't you think?"

"Eric, I'm trying to get clean not have sex in there," I answer.

"I'll get you dirty and then I'll clean you up. Best of both worlds...please?"

Aw, how can I resist those eyes. "Okay, Eric."

"Believe it or not, I've never had sex in the shower," I say as he turns on the tap and finds the right water temperature. Annika is asleep and as soon as he put her down he came out to find me and carry me to his bathroom, his face lighting up like a kid on Christmas. Well, if the kid was thirty-two years old and had asked for a stocking full of porn.

He looks delighted by my confession, "Really?"

"Yup, no private bathrooms at school."

"Well, then allow me to induct you into the pleasures of shower sex," he says, coming to stand right in front of me.

For the first time I find myself feeling jealous of all the other women Eric has undoubtedly had, in the shower or elsewhere. I'm sure he's had so many more partners than I have and I don't want to let it bother me but it does a little. And now he's trying to undress me and I feel suddenly shy in front of him. He has his hands on the bottom of my shirt, tugging it up but I don't lift my arms and he steps back from me.

"What's wrong? You changed your mind? You can shower by yourself, it's okay." He is always so aware of my feelings, so caring and concerned with making sure I'm comfortable and that thought makes me want to forget my petty jealousy and give him what we both want.

"I didn't change my mind, I'm just feeling a little self-conscious I guess," I say with a sheepish smile.

"Self-conscious? Why? You are the most beautiful, sexiest woman I have ever seen. Let me undress you, let me look at you," he says, gazing at me intently.

There is no way I am the most beautiful woman he has been with. But I don't want to get all shy on him now so I nod and smile and lift my arms when he lifts my shirt. He unclasps my bra and lets it fall to the floor.

"This is the most beautiful pair of breasts I have seen," he whispers, dropping chaste kisses onto my nipples, "In my entire life. And this," he says, brushing his lips across my clavicle and up my neck, "Is the most graceful neck in the world. And this," he drops to his knees and presses hot kisses down my stomach as he pulls down my yoga pants, "Is the loveliest expanse of soft golden skin I have ever touched. You make me ache for you, Sookie. You are perfect," he says looking up at me with so much love on his face. His slow caress of my body has left me trembling with need for him and I lean down and kiss him with all the passion I am feeling at this moment. He stands while my mouth is on his and returns my kiss and my passion as I pull off his pants, which are all he's been wearing for the entire torturous morning.

He pulls me into his body and I feel his erection, firmly nestled into my abdomen. "The water's going to get cold. Let's get in," I say, breaking away from his talented lips.

He leads me into the shower and as I stand under the warm water, his eyes rake over me hungrily. His chest rumbles and he says, "You are so fucking beautiful and even sexier all wet like this. I want to push you against the wall and make you scream."

Oh. God.

He steps under the water, winds one arm around me and drops his face to my shoulder where he sucks and nibbles my skin. He trails his other hand down my stomach and between my legs where he strokes me gently, making me moan and quiver. The warm water, his warm mouth, and his soft intimate caresses set fire to my body and as he picks me up and pushes me into the wall, I circle my legs around his waist. His hard length is nestled in my center and it rubs along my wetness as I rock my hips. He is getting dangerously close to slipping inside of me and I know he doesn't want that but he's not thinking straight.

"Condom," I whisper and his face snaps up. He looks momentarily angry but I think it's directed at himself.

"Fuck," he mutters, putting me down and leaning out of the shower curtain to grab the condom on the bathroom sink. He tears the package and puts it on so fast that it's obvious how eager he is and how experienced he is with this form of protection. He told me he likes them but I have always heard that men did not. Bill certainly complained about them enough. But Bill, as it turned out, needed the condom to have any sort of endurance. Not that he cared that he left me frustrated more often than satisfied once I got on the pill. Ugh, I do not want to think about that asshole right now.

"You okay?" he asks once he turns around.

"Great...so, where were we?"

"Right here," he says, picking me up again and thrusting into me in one quick stroke that makes me gasp. He feels so good inside me and right now he's being so gentle despite his fast entrance. His lips move over mine tenderly as he slides slowly in and out of me. The position we are in is doing really good things for both my clit and my g-spot and I am powerless to stop the moans that leave my mouth. I think he really likes this position too judging from the groans leaving his mouth.

"Sookie, you don't know how long I've wanted to fuck you up against the wall," he murmurs into my ear and when he hears my soft whimper, he growls and moves his hips much faster. I don't know what it is about the dirty things he says to me but they really ignite me. I can feel my muscles tensing up and when he moans and squeezes my ass, I know he can feel it too.

"Fuck, Sookie. Cum," he pants, gazing at my face. His face is tense, his jaw clenched like he's trying not to lose it. I pull his lips to mine by the back of his neck and his kiss enflames my body, coaxing me to my orgasm which burns through me, making me cry out. Mine triggers his and he cums gasping my name as he holds me tightly against his body.

He stands very still with his face nestled in the crook of my neck while his body calms down and his breath evens out. "How do you keep doing that?" he whispers with his cheek against mine.

"Doing what?"

"Making me want to cum the second I feel you around me. I usually have excellent stamina but I feel like a virgin with you every time. I feel like I'm about to explode every moment I'm inside you."

"Wow, that's one of the nicest...and dirtiest things anyone has ever said to me." I laugh and so does he. He pulls out and puts me down and after he throws out the condom, he lathers soap on a washcloth.

"Will you let me wash you?" he asks with hopeful eyes.

"Okay."

He washes me gently and reverently and as he rinses away the soap, he follows the warm water with his soft lips. He kisses across my shoulder, my clavicle, and to my other shoulder and then captures my bottom lip and sucks. His mouth on me is making me hot again and my fingers itch to stroke the length of him that I can feel hard once more against my hip.

"Now you smell like me and that is so incredibly sexy," he says running his nose along my neck and inhaling deeply.

I grab his erection because I can't help it. It's just so hard and heavy against my stomach. I squeeze and he hisses and crushes his mouth to mine. I pump and he rocks his hips. I twist and he moans. I kneel to take him in my mouth and he bucks and groans and cums so hard that he has to grab the wall to steady himself. When I stand up, his lips crash into mine again and he kisses me breathless.

"I love you," he whispers, stroking my cheek with his knuckles. "Thank you. I love you so much."

The water gets suddenly freezing and I squeal as I jump away from its icy downpour. He quickly shuts it off and grabs towels for us to dry off.

I look at the time as I walk into his room and realize we are cutting it close with Annika's nap. She sleeps for forty-five minutes in the morning and we have about five minutes left. Eric tries to push me back on the bed but I resist.

"Annika will be awake in five minutes, Eric. We don't have time for that."

His look remains heated, however, and he smirks at me. "Is that a challenge?" he asks with that goddamn lickable eyebrow raised in brazen daring.

This time when he pushes me back, I let him, and as he kneels between my legs and slides his tongue along my slick skin, I am so glad I accepted his challenge.

Five minutes later when Annika starts talking across the hall, and he walks swiftly to the bathroom licking his fingers as I lie panting on the bed, I come to the conclusion that he won that contest by a landslide. He quickly pulls on some jeans and a t-shirt and winks at me just before he leaves the room. I haven't moved yet, my legs are even still spread apart and a blush creeps up my skin as I think about the view he must have had as he left the room. Ah, who cares, that was fucking fantastic!

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**I wanted to thank you guys for the overwhelming support you gave me for that last chapter. I was nervous but I'm so glad people seemed to like the chapter. The reviews blew me away! I hope you like this one as well. There won't always be so much sex but I figure Eric and Sookie deserve some frisky fun and you deserve to read all about it. Lol.**

**Thanks for supporting this story with your reviews and alerts.**

**There is a contest for fanfiction that is accepting nominations right now and I have been asked to promote it. So please check it out: you want blood awards...wordpress...com (remove spaces and extra dots). Thanks! There are so many good stories out there and it's important to acknowledge them so that people will keep writing! I know I would be sad without so many E/S stories to keep me sane when True Blood shits the bed. :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey guys, I wanted to say something about Eric's use of condoms, which some reviewers have commented on. I understand it may take you out of the moment when I write about him putting one on or taking one off but it is part of the story. I'm not trying to make a statement about safe sex or something. It's part of Eric's hang up about being a single father to a baby whose mother abandoned her (and him). Also, Sookie has a week until her birth control shot starts protecting her and I promise, they will have a conversation after that. So I'm sorry if you don't like reading about them using condoms and if you don't want to continue the story because of that, that's fine too.**

**Now, onto the story! Btw, it starts Monday morning.**

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SOOKIE

"So Jessica will be by this morning for her interview. She seemed really nice on the phone. Maybe a little young, I think she just finished high school but she has a boyfriend so she won't be trying to get in your pants." Eric is finishing getting dressed for work while I talk to him. I'm trying to focus on speaking when what I really want to do is run my hand along his exposed torso and lick the hollow of his neck.

"My eyes are up here, Stackhouse," he quips and I laugh. Busted! I know my cheeks are turning red because I've been caught ogling him. But, damn, anyone with a pulse and heck, anyone without a pulse, would be doing the same thing!

"Quit being so darn sexy then, Northman!" His eyes go lusty on me and he stalks towards me.

"You know what that does to me, Sookie." he murmurs with his lips at my ear.

I reach down to feel what it does to him and he moans softly as I rub him through his pants. I unzip them and pull him free, stroking as I drop to my knees. I finish him quickly when we hear Annika wake up and he cums almost silently, his shuddering breath his only noise.

I stand up and kiss his blissed out face and go quickly to wash my hands before getting the baby.

He is dressed and looking sexy as hell as he walks down the stairs to me and Annika. "You know, I'm quite irresistible, Sookie," he says with a wink, "One look at me and Jessica might just leave her boyfriend and try to get in my pants, as you say."

"Are you trying to get hurt, mister? Because I'll do it!" I say, smacking his arm once I put Anni in her seat.

"Ow!" he says, rubbing at the spot with his brow furrowed.

"But, really, I think she sounds nice. Do you think she's too young?" I ask him.

"I don't know. I trust you. If you like her and think she seems responsible, then that's good enough for me."

The fact that he trusts me so much to choose a caregiver for his baby makes me feel all warm inside. "I love you, honey," I say as I kiss his cheek.

"I love you too, beautiful."

"You know, I'm more than just a pretty face," I tease. I have to admit that I like when he calls me beautiful but it makes me a little uncomfortable considering just how handsome he is and how pretty his previous girlfriends must have been.

"Oh yes," he says, his eyes shining, "You are much more. You're smart and sweet, caring and brave...and you give a damn good blow job." He winks and walks over to pick me up and briefly twirl me around. "I love you, Sookie. You mean everything to me." When he gets like this it makes me simultaneously giddy and uncomfortable. The fire his gaze is somewhat intimidating and his fervent words just add to the intensity.

"Thank you, Eric. You are all those things, too."

He kisses my forehead and then Annika's. "Let me know how it goes with Jessica?"

"Sure. I'll call you right after she leaves." It doesn't escape my notice that Eric avoided my compliment, as usual. He walks to get his coat and put on his shoes and then he grabs his briefcase.

"I'll miss you girls," he calls out before he disappears out the door.

"Well, Annika," I say, turning toward her, "It's just you and me. How about some breakfast?"

"Kie!" she says loudly. God, I love this girl!

After breakfast, I dress Annika, making sure she looks especially cute because she will be meeting a prospective nanny in a little while. We go downstairs to play until Jessica is set to arrive.

At precisely 9:30, the doorbell chimes. "Hi, Jessica. I'm Sookie," I say, as I open the door. We shake and then she comes in. "This is Annika. Would you like to sit down in the living room? That way she can play on the floor."

"Hi, sweetheart," says Jessica with a big smile. She waves at Annika, who gives her a big smile. "Isn't she a doll! What a pretty little girl!"

I smile at Jessica as I put Anni down and take a seat on the couch. Jessica is stunning—tall with creamy skin and long red hair. Well, at least she has a boyfriend.

"So, tell me about yourself, Jessica," I say. She seems rather shy, her hands folded in her lap and her head tipped down.

"Well, I'm nineteen, I graduated from high school last Spring and have been waitressing but I want to get a better job with more hours and less rude customers," she says with a little laugh.

I smile. "Boy, do I understand that! I used to waitress before I went to college. That's the hardest job I've ever had! So how much experience do you have with children, specifically babies?"

She answers my questions and although she doesn't have much experience besides babysitting family members, she gives good answers. She took child development in high school and is CPR certified. She seems slightly naive but I can't hold that against her because she is young.

Annika starts to look sleepy so I tell Jessica I'm going to go rock her to sleep. Once she's asleep, I go back down to continue the interview.

"How old is she again?" asks Jessica.

"Ten months. Her birthday is in March."

"And she still gets rocked to sleep?" she says in a surprised and somewhat condescending way which immediately gets my dander up.

"She's a really good sleeper," I say, feeling the need to defend Annika for some reason.

"Yes, but at ten months old, shouldn't she be going to sleep on her own?"

"Well, her father rocks her so that's what I do. When I first started, I didn't know how she went to sleep and she started crying when I put her down so I picked her back up. But since then, I've seen Eric put her to sleep and he rocks or hums to her. It's really sweet." I shouldn't have added that last part because now I feel like she's looking at me weird. I also feel like this interview has spiraled down really quickly.

"Well, all the babies in my family are taught to sleep on their own within a few months. Babies should be following the schedule that their parents set."

Oh. Wow, is she really that rigid that she doesn't understand that every family is different? "Well, every parent decides for their own children, right? Eric is very sensitive to her and he doesn't let her cry."

"So she's spoiled?"

I literally gasp at this. Annika is such a good baby, I would never call her spoiled. "No! Not at all. I mean, she's so little, how spoiled can a ten-month-old be?"

"How long have you been her nanny? Or are you the girlfriend?" she says in that same sort of condescending way. It's like she's looking down on me but trying to sound gracious and nice about it. But I don't really know how to answer her startling question. I can't say I'm both, can I?

"Eric is my boyfriend. I'm taking care of Annika while I have some time off school and I'm helping him find a new nanny," I say, trying to keep any anger out of my voice. What I said is not a lie so I feel good about that. Although I don't owe this girl an explanation, I know our situation is an odd one considering I'm technically sleeping with my boss.

"Oh," she says, "So where's the mother?" Alright, I've had enough of this girl and her preachy attitude and probing questions.

"She is not in the picture, Jessica," I say standing up. "So, thank you for your time. The agency will let you know of our decision." I walk to the door so she will follow and after a second she gets the clue and does. She puts on a huge smile and shakes my outstretched hand before leaving.

I lean against the door, relieved that she is gone. I really thought she seemed so nice. Too bad she was so rigid and condescending. I've worked for all kind of families, with all kinds of parenting methods and I know that as the caregiver, you follow the parents' wishes and that's that. You can't get all judgmental because everyone is so different. Eric likes to rock Annika, he doesn't let her cry and it's his lead I follow. Ugh. Hopefully Haley will be better. She's our last hope.

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ERIC

Driving to work while thinking about Sookie's mouth on my cock is not conducive to good driving, I realize as I look down at my speedometer to see that I'm driving well over the speed limit. Also, driving with a hard-on is extremely uncomfortable. But, damn! Her mouth is heaven.

I arrive at work to find Victoria fucking Madden standing in front of Pam's desk. When she sees me she puts on a pout and crosses her arms. She is the last person in the world I want to see right now.

"Your secretary wouldn't let me into your office, Eric. I told her she was being absurd but she won't listen to me."

I look at Pam, who looks ready to murder someone. "Yes, well, I told her that you were very busy this morning and if she _needed_ something she could leave a message," says Pam with as nice a voice as she can manage. Which is to say—pretty bitchy.

"Pam is right Mrs. Madden, I have a lot to do today and as you are not in my calendar, I'm afraid you will need to make an appointment for some other time if you need to meet with me." Damn, does she look pissed. But still not as mad as Pam. I have learned to school my features so that what I'm feeling does not show on my face but these ladies certainly have not. Or they're just too mad to care.

"Don't be ridiculous, Eric," says Madden, walking closer to me, "You can make time to meet with me whenever I want. I am the client, am I not?" She reaches out her hand and strokes down my arm, grazing my hand before I pull it away. Her touch makes me want to vomit and I am just about to say something in anger when Pam pipes up.

"How is your friend Andre Paul today, Victoria?" says Pam in a sickly sweet voice that's not really fooling anyone because of the look in her eye. Both Madden and I turn sharply to look at her.

"Andre? How do you know Andre?" I ask.

When Victoria seems too shocked to answer, Pam does. "Andre is Victoria's little secret, is he not? You must miss him while he's in school all day. Tell me, when do you even have time for your little rendezvous? Does he sneak out of his parents' house to meet you at seedy little motels that won't care what you are doing together? Or do you pretend to be his mother while you are out?"

Pam is really enjoying this and I can't say that I am not having a great time watching Madden sputter and turn red. She composes herself pretty quickly and holds her head up. "You don't know anything! Watch it, secretary! You think I can't get you fired? Or you?" she says, turning suddenly toward me. I really am at a loss for what's going on so I just glare at her until she walks out silently.

"My office," I say to Pam, walking in and sitting behind my desk. Pam follows and sits down in front of me. "What the hell was that, Pam? Explain."

"I had her investigated," she says the same way someone would tell you their name—like it's nothing.

"By whom?"

"I have sources, Eric. Trust me, it's better if you don't know."

I look at her in silence for a second before I decide she is right. I don't want to know her sources. "So what is all this about Andre Paul? Is she sleeping with Sophie's step-brother?"

"It looks that way and from her reaction, I'd say I got it right."

"But he's like, what? Seventeen?" Victoria Madden is probably forty and Andre is a teenager! What the fuck? And I thought I was wrong for sleeping with my baby's nanny!

"Eighteen since last month but I don't know how long they've been fucking."

"Well, there is nothing illegal about that, however disgusting it is."

"Yes, but Andre is a particular favorite of Peter Threadgill. The man who is being messed around by Madden in this business merger. How happy do you think he's going to be if he finds out that his business competition is fucking his favorite nephew?"

I sit up straighter in my chair. "I fucking love you, Pam!" I say with a huge grin on my face.

"Yes, well how about a delayed Christmas bonus then?" she says with a sly smile.

"Didn't you already get a Christmas bonus?"

"Not from you."

"Did I get you a present?"

"Eric, you have never gotten me a Christmas present. Not that I mind. You were never a gift giver until now. But, really, are you not aware of how much you've changed since Sookie came into your life?"

I sit forward to rest my elbows on my desk and steeple my fingers. "I guess not," I say, deep in thought.

"Well, you have. For the better. I've never seen you smile so much and do you know that you now literally whistle while you work?"

"I do not."

She smiles. "You do."

Well, shit. "I love her Pam," I say and I can't keep the, no doubt, goofy smile off my face.

"It's about time you realized that."

I cock my eyebrow at her and she just looks silently back at me, a mirror of my own expression.

"So, Jimmy Choo or Manolo Blahnik? What will it be?" I ask.

"Both." She grins.

"You're lucky I'm such a good friend," I say, grinning back.

"I am."

"Thank you, Pam. Thank you for helping with Madden. Though, now I'm kind of scared of you!" I say, laughing.

She laughs but then quickly gets serious. "As well you should be," she says, with no hint of amusement. I just look at her as she gets up to leave my office. She turns and winks at me before she closes my door.

A while later, after we get out of yet another merger meeting, this one with a conspicuously absent Victoria Madden, I get a phone call from Sookie.

"Hello beautiful, I miss you," I say when I answer the phone.

"Hey darlin' I miss you too. How's it going?"

"Meetings, paperwork, the usual. But I have something to tell you about Victoria Madden, the executive with a thing for me. I'll tell you when I get home."

"Did she touch you again? Eric, I will come down there and kick her ass! I'm serious!"

"Calm down, little warrior! Pam found some dirt on her, I think it's all going to be okay...Would you really fight for me?"

"I'd kill for you." Holy fuck, this girl!

"Sookie, I wish you were here. You just made me so hard."

After a second, in which I hope I haven't offended her, she starts to speak in a low and sexy tone of voice. "And what would you do to me if I was there?" she asks.

Goddamn, she's going to kill me. My brain is going into overdrive imagining all the ways I could fuck Sookie in my office. My cock is going to explode in my pants, it's so hard.

"Can I tell you what I'd do to you?" she asks because I've taken too long to actually speak.

"Please."

"Well, I'd start by sliding your jacket off your arms and then I'd loosen your tie and smooth my hands up your rippled torso to your neck and slip it off. Then when I've kissed your lips until they're swollen and your neck until your pulse is racing, I'd push you down in your big office chair and climb on top of you to straddle your lap. I'd grind myself against your big hard _cock_ until you were panting and begging me to release you from your pants. And when you were so worked up you could only whimper, I'd finally slide my body down your legs until I knelt on the floor. I'd slowly unzip your pants and pull out your throbbing, dripping _cock_ and as I run my nails up and down your thighs, I'd swirl my tongue over the head of your _cock_, licking up all the satiny fluid until there was no more for me to taste. Then I would suck you into my mouth with so much force that your ass would leave your chair and your stomach would clench. I would work you until you could take no more, until you were a shuddering whimpering mess in your chair and then I'd tell you to cum for me and when you shoot your hot seed down my throat, I'd swallow every single delicious drop and lick my lips when I was done."

Uhh.

"Eric?"

I swallow audibly. I am speechless. I have never been so unbelievably turned on my someone's words to me.

"Sookie, I...oh my god, Sookie." Nothing coherent is coming from me right now.

"See? I can say it," she says with a laugh.

"Say what?" My brain is currently devoid of all blood and I have no idea what she's talking about.

"Cock."

"Say it again." When she said it, mine jumped.

"No, Eric. Listen, I did have have a reason for calling you and Annika just woke up so I need to go. I wanted to say that Jessica was a bust. She will not work out. Also to remind you to call the agency and tell them about Yvetta and Janna. Make sure you tell them about the flirting and the drug use, okay. I have to go. I love you, honey."

"Okay, Sookie, we can to talk more about it later but I'll call the agency. Thanks! I love you too!"

"Oh, Eric?"

"Yes?"

"Cock."

She hangs up before I can respond and I am left holding the phone as I stare down at the result of her bold words to me. After trying to ignore it for a good fifteen minutes, I finally decide I need to jerk off in my private bathroom if I hope to get any amount of work done today. While not anywhere near as good as how Sookie feels, it does relieve me and lessen my distraction so I can work efficiently.

The nanny agency is appalled to hear of my experience with their applicants and assures me that further action will be taken. They also refund the fee I paid and apologize profusely. I tell them maybe they should consider a better drug testing policy since that is my main concern and they tell me they absolutely will. With that done, the rest of the day goes by quickly. Soon I am driving home, eager to see both my girls who I missed all day long. Loving Sookie is great but now I have two people to miss and wish I could see more often. And when she goes back to school next week, I will get to see even less of her, which is something I am trying not to think about.

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**I had to split this chapter up so I'll end here for now and have another chapter up soon. I always write too much without realizing and by the time I did a word count, I had over 7,000 so that's why this chapter ends here.**

**Thank you for all your reviews and alerts on this story!**

**Don't forget about the TB/SVM awards: you want blood awards...wordpress...com**


	26. Chapter 26

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ERIC

I walk into my house to a wonderful smell. I can see Annika in her high chair, munching on a biscuit, but I don't see Sookie. But then, from around the corner I can suddenly hear her. She's singing—and man, is she horrible! But she is obviously having tons of fun and as I tiptoe around the corner, I see her shaking her hips as she cuts up vegetables for a salad. I am about to sneak up on her but Annika screeches my name and Sookie whips around to face me.

"Whoa there, killer!" I say with a laugh but I'm not a fool, I jump back.

Her eyes get big. "Oh! I'm so sorry!" she says, looking down at the big knife in her hand.

"That's okay. I should know better than to surprise someone with a knife," I say, chuckling.

She turns to put the knife down and then launches herself at me for a hug. I grab her and pick her up, holding her tight. She feels so good in my arms.

"I missed you!" she says into my chest.

"I missed you, too. Especially after you left me wanting you after that phone call. I had to take care of myself so that I could focus on anything else but my dick."

She hits me lightly. "Eric Northman, tell me you didn't do..._that_...at work!"

"Jerk off?" I say, which earns me another smack on the arm. "Ow! You're abusing me because you made me so hard I couldn't think straight?"

She looks suddenly stricken. "I'm sorry for hitting you. I was playing around but I won't do that anymore."

Oh, she thinks I was serious. "I was kidding, Sookie. You're not hurting me."

"No, I shouldn't hit you."

She looks so upset with herself but really, I knew she was just playing. "What did you cook?" I ask to change the subject. I go over and pick up Annika and she puts her dirty hands on my cheeks and gives me a biscuity kiss but nothing could be better, and I laugh and kiss her back. As I take her over to the sink to wash her hands, I try to see what Sookie cooked. I had planned on making her dinner but it seems she beat me to it.

"Well, you had a chicken so I roasted it along with some potatoes and then I made a salad. Is that okay?" she asks, sounding a little nervous.

"Of course! Thank you. You didn't have to cook. I would have."

"That's okay. You had a _hard_ day," she says with a big smile and it takes me a second to understand her double entendre. Once I do, I grab her with my free arm and attack her neck with kisses and small nips. She squeals and runs away and Annika laughs. I love these girls!

After dinner and bath time, when Annika is ready for bed, Sookie asks me if I always rock her to sleep. Kind of a strange question.

"Yeah," I answer, "She likes the snuggle time and I miss her so much so it's nice for both of us, why?"

"Just something that Jessica said, the nanny I interviewed. I'll tell you about it after you put her to sleep."

"Okay."

Once Anni is asleep, I come down and sit with Sookie on the couch. She turns off the tv and scoots over to me and I pull her onto my lap for a proper kiss. I love the way she tastes and I let my tongue move against hers as my hands travel under her shirt to my best friends on her chest.

"Eric," she says, pulling back, "Let's talk first. If we start this now, you know we won't get any actually talking in."

I open my mouth to say something but she puts her fingers over my lips. "Dirty talk doesn't count," she whispers. How did she know that's what I was going to say? She must be a mind reader.

"Fine," I huff, lifting her to sit next to me. She smiles and strokes my cheek and I smile back at her.

"So tell me why you think the situation with that bitch at work is going to be fine?" she says.

"Pam. Apparently Pam had her followed or investigated or something and she found out something very interesting if not completely disturbing."

"Wow! Go Pam! I knew I was right to be scared of her when she told me she would hurt me if I hurt you," she says and then immediately clamps her hand over her mouth.

"Pam told you what?" What the fuck?

"It was a while ago! It was nothing! Please promise me you won't say anything to her. She was just looking out for you."

"Jesus! I don't need her fucking help!"

"Eric, she was just being a friend! That's what friends do, okay? Don't be mad at her! Promise me you won't say anything to her!"

I look at Sookie for a while trying to decide what to do. In the end, I can't do anything other than what Sookie asked because she is too important to me and she looks so distraught over what she let slip.

"Fine, I won't say anything. But I can take care of myself!"

"I know, honey," she says but I get the feeling she is placating me. Whatever, I'm going to drop it.

"So do you want me to tell you what Pam found out?"

"Yes! Is it good?"

"It's very _bad_," I say, leaning towards her as if we are girlfriends gossiping.

"Ooh, tell me!" she says with a grin.

"Well, it seems that Victoria Madden is sleeping with an eighteen-year-old boy."

She gasps. "What the fuck?" she says, which makes me laugh because she hardly ever curses so I know if she does it's something either very bad or very good.

"And that's not the worst of it," I say, pausing for dramatic flair. I kind of like gossiping. "The worst part is that the boy she is fucking is the nephew of the man whose company she's in the middle of merging with. And he hates her because she is making this merger a living hell for everybody involved!"

"Oh my god! So if he found out..."

"Exactly!"

"Oh, Eric, that's great! Well, not for the boy I guess but he's legal so there's not much anybody can do—except puke," she says with a smile. "How old is Victoria Madden?"

"I'd guess late thirties, early forties. Definitely too old to be screwing around with a boy who's still in high school!"

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SOOKIE

Wow, this Victoria Madden woman is a piece of work! She's harassing my boyfriend and screwing a teenager at the same time. What the hell?

"That's disgusting!" I say.

"Yup! So what happened with Jessica? I thought she sounded nice."

"Yeah, well, that's what I thought. She was a little too judgmental."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I put Annika down for her nap, she acted like it was ridiculous that she was still rocked to sleep at ten months old. She said all of the babies in her family—which was her only real experience by the way—were sleep trained by a few months old."

I can tell by the crinkle of his brow that he doesn't really understand what I'm talking about. "Sleep...trained?" he asks. "I don't know this term."

"Well, like, how did you get Annika to be such a good sleeper? Do you always rock her? Did you ever put her down awake? Lots of people sleep train their babies to sleep through the night."

"I don't understand. Annika has always just slept...it's not something I trained her to do. Surely you cannot train someone to sleep?"

"Not to sleep really I guess but to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own through the night. Lots of people do it so their kids will sleep and be well rested. You've never heard of cry it out?"

He shakes his head and stands up. I think he's getting uncomfortable.

"It's when the parent lays the baby down and let's them cry some before they fall asleep on their own. There are different ways to do it but there's usually at least some crying."

He looks bewildered, absolutely horrified and he's backing away from me as if I'm about to hurt him.

Shoot! I can tell he's close to freaking out. "Well, it's just one way of sleep training. It usually works in a few days so it's not like the baby is crying a ton every night."

"No!" he says forcefully and I shrink back involuntarily. "That's what she wanted to do to my Anni?" he croaks. "I hope you told her fucking no! That. Will never. Happen. Do you understand? If she's crying, the nanny will go to her. She will _not_ be left alone to cry herself to sleep. _No one_ should be left alone to cry!"

His voice is a growly whisper with a hard edge and I realize that he is not only talking about Annika but about himself as a child. By now I understand what sends him to the edge- if ever he feels weak or inadequate or is reminded of being a child, which really, is the same thing. He had no control as a child and he can't handle feeling like that again, even though he is a strong capable man. And he is so soft-hearted towards Annika—God help the person who mistreats her. His strong reaction to this conversation is because he was left crying alone as a boy and no one came to help him or make him feel better, in fact, he was made to feel foolish if he cried.

"Eric," I say softly. Walking up close to him, I put my hand on his arm. "Nobody is going to leave Annika to cry, Eric. You are her daddy and you get to decide. Okay? Are you okay?"

I can see the tightness leave his face but it is replaced by anguish and I wish the anger had stayed because it's better than this. He rubs the heels of his hands on his eyes before he suddenly strides from the room and goes in the kitchen.

I want to follow him and put my arms around him or something just to make him feel better but I don't know if I should. Do I give him his space? He walked away because he wants some time to calm down. I know he has a hard time with feelings and he doesn't like to look like he can't handle himself. It breaks my heart that he puts up all these shields so that he can maintain control in every aspect of his life. He thinks he's weak if there is something he cannot dominate. He's scared, under all the anger, he's just scared and hurt. I find myself halfway to the kitchen because no matter what he can handle, I know I can't leave him hurting without going to comfort him. He needs someone to be there for him, someone to hold him and tell him he will be okay. I don't know if he's ever had that and that thought not only breaks my heart but crumbles it into a thousand tiny pieces.

"Eric," I say quietly. His back is to me and he has a glass of water in his hand but he's not drinking it. I silently beg him to turn around and look at me. I don't want to talk to his back but I guess I have to. "Eric," I say again, "I understand why you're upset." I put my hand on his shoulder and push a little so he will know I want him to turn around. "You're not alone anymore. Can I be here for you now?" I ask gently.

He puts the glass down, turns suddenly and grabs my shoulders, crushing me to his chest. He drops his face into the crook of my neck and takes a huge shuddering breath in, circling his arms around my waist. It takes me a moment to respond to his quick movements and then I put my arms around him and just hold him tight. We stay like this, in silence, for several long moments. He does this when he needs to feel better, like rubbing a security blanket. I don't know why he likes his face here so much but I'm happy to provide him the comfort. I bring my hand up to stroke his hair until I can feel that he has his breathing more under control.

He releases me almost as quickly as he brought me in and I can tell he's about to run out of the room. He turns from me, walking quickly towards the doorway of the kitchen.

"Eric!" I say desperately, "Please!"

He stops.

"Please," I say again, more softly, "Don't run away from me."

He reaches his hand back and I walk up to him and grasp it. He walks back to the living room with me following and sits on the couch. I kneel down at his feet because I want to look at his face, which is angled down, his neck bent towards the floor.

"Tell me what you're scared of Eric, why you're so hurt," I whisper, "Let me in." He needs to talk. I just want him to talk to me.

"I'm not scared!" he says fiercely, "I'm angry! I am so fucking angry." He does sound angry, except as he says the last word, his voice falters and it comes out as a choked sob. He buries his face in his hands and exhales forcefully. His breathing becomes erratic and his chest heaves as he pants for air.

I have seen him successfully keep himself in check several times now but sometimes I think that if he would just give up his tightly held control, he would feel so much better. If he could just let go and cry, he might start to heal from all the pain in his life. When I cried about Bill, he told me that it's okay to cry when someone hurts you but I guess he doesn't believe that advice holds true for himself. And I know he is scared. Scared that he is not enough for Annika, scared that he is not the father she deserves because he can't be there to take care of her as much as he would like, scared that everything his fucking father told him is really true. I can tell this because of every refused compliment and every self-deprecating look that crosses his beautiful face. He doesn't believe my words to him because the words of his father still swirl through his mind telling him lies.

I get up and sit next to him on the couch and rub his back until I can tell he is feeling better. His chest has stopped heaving and his breathing has slowed considerably. Maybe next time he's upset, I won't be so nearby. If I leave him alone will he finally cry like he needs? I don't know if I can do that to him, even if it might help. If I tell him it's okay to cry, will he? Or will he build another wall and shrink further away?

"What are you angry about, Eric?" I ask. If he can put it into words, that's a good first step.

He looks up at me with wide shining eyes like a little boy. "I don't know," he mutters. He drops his face back into his hands and whispers again, "I don't know."

"You know your dad was wrong, don't you Eric?" I ask him as I stroke his hair and the back of his neck.

He looks at me and nods but without the conviction in his eyes that would convince me he believes what I'm saying.

"He was wrong. For treating you like he did and for the things he taught you about how to be a man."

"Sookie, don't," he says with pleading eyes. "I don't want to do this."

"Okay, I know you don't but I just want to make sure you understand that. You are a good father, you are nothing like him, you know what makes a good father."

"I said I don't want to do this!" he hisses, getting up.

I can't explain what seeing him like this does to me. It's like I have all these emotions swirling through me and I don't know what to do. I feel unbelievably angry at Eric's father for how he treated his precious child, for how he tore him down to where it still affects him so many years later. I am angry also at his mother for not protecting him like she should have. But mostly what I'm feeling is just sadness. Sadness that this beautiful, smart, successful man thinks that he is not good enough, that he has not done enough, and that he will never be enough. He is wrong. So wrong but he won't listen to me when I tell him.

He's getting better at staying to talk even when things make him angry or uncomfortable. So even though he doesn't want to talk about his father and he's angry that I didn't let it go when he told me to, he takes only three steps before he stops. He sighs and turns around and his eyes tell me of his unspoken distress.

"I'm not going to talk about your dad, honey, but come sit down with me," I say, patting the couch in invitation. "Let me tell you something."

He comes back to sit down and I turn towards him on the couch and take his hands in mine. "Eric, you are a good father," I say looking into his eyes.

"Sookie," he says, and I can tell that he is just exasperated. His jaw is tense, his eyes hard. He really hates this and would rather be anywhere else. "Stop. Just fucking stop!" he growls.

"No, I'm going to say it until you believe it." He pulls his hands from mine and starts to get up but I am not having that. I put my hand firmly on his thigh to keep him in his seat. "No, sit down," I tell him.

"Sookie..." he says with a warning in his voice. He tries to get up again but I don't care. He's going to hear what I have to say.

"Eric, sit the fuck down and listen to me!" I say in a very firm voice and he immediately sits still.

"Don't yell at me!" he pleads and the look on his face makes me feel like absolute shit.

I put my hand on his face and rub his cheek because he looks like a scared little boy right now and I'm the one who scared him. "I'm so sorry," I say softly, "I shouldn't have yelled at you but will you stay and talk to me?"

He looks at me after a second of stroking his face and he takes a deep breath and then closes his eyes. "Okay," he says.

"Thank you, but open your eyes. Let me see those beautiful blues."

He complies with a small smile, his shoulders relax and his hands, which had fisted in his anguish, unfurl.

"Do you want to know how I know you're a good father, Eric?"

He looks at his hands and exhales loudly. I will take his silence as a yes for now.

"Because your baby is the happiest baby I have ever taken care of."

"That's just how she is," he protests.

"So, she doesn't know how to cry? She is not capable of being upset? That's not true. Sure, she has an easy going personality but even the best genetic combination cannot make up for poor parenting. Trust me... Neuroscientist here, remember? You've heard nature versus nurture, right? Well, even if she got the jackpot of nature, she would still need a great nurturer to bring all those good personality traits to life. That's what you are, Eric. You are the nurturer that brings out all of Annika's joy and her sweet personality."

He is still silent but he's leaning in towards me and looking at me. I'm sure he wants to believe he's a good dad just like he wants to believe he deserves love and just general happiness but it's hard for him to dismiss everything else he believes about himself and about the cruelty of the world in general.

"Have you ever gotten mad at Annika?" I ask him.

"No."

"Have you ever left her crying because you didn't want to bother with her?"

He looks at me with a downturned mouth and furrowed brow. "No!"

"Have you ever let her go hungry?"

"God no!"

"So, tell me why, exactly, you are not a good dad. Tell me in what way you have ever left her uncared for or unloved. Can you?"

"I have a bad temper," he says with beseeching eyes that pierce my heart with their plea for understanding.

"Baby," I say gently, stroking my fingers over his brow, "you've never even been mad at Annika."

He sighs and leans into me but then stiffens. "I work too much," he whispers, "Too many other people take care of her instead of me."

"So all the other parents you work with are bad parents too?"

"No... but I'm all that she has and I'm not enough! She doesn't have a mother like she deserves, she only has me and there is so much I don't know!" The despair on his face as he says this is so heart wrenching I am tempted to forget this whole thing and just rock him in my arms so he'll feel better. But he needs to hear what I have to say. He needs to hear it until he believes it.

"And you think, what? All the other parents were given a manual and they know exactly what they're doing?"

He stares at me with tight lips and rubs the back of his neck with his palm.

"They don't, Eric. Parenting is hard and the only things you absolutely must do are try your best and love your child. You have that down. The proof is in the pudding, right? You are utterly devoted to that precious girl and she is extremely lucky that you are her daddy. Okay? So please believe me when I tell you that you are a good father. Do you believe me?"

He sits in complete stillness for over a minute, his eyes boring into mine. A myriad of emotions flickers into and out of his eyes before he nods mutely.

"Out loud, Eric."

"I believe you," he whispers and the corners of his mouth turn up just a little bit. I'm not foolish enough to think that this will solve all his problems and that from now on he will truly believe in himself, but this is at least a good first step. Maybe he will be a little less hard on himself, a little more self-assured.

I pull him into my arms and of course, his face goes to the crook of my neck. But then after a few minutes, I feel him start to kiss my neck, which he's never done before when he nuzzles me if he's upset. But it feels nice so I'm not going to stop him. His kisses continue and he moves his mouth up my neck and across my jaw. He lifts his head and I can see his eyes are dark with lust. He pulls me to straddle his lap and then attacks my mouth with his. His hands move up and down my back and my butt and he pulls me forward, onto his erection.

"Sookie," he whispers, pulling back to look into my eyes. "I want you. I need to be inside you."

The look in his eyes leaves me breathless and I can barely think but I manage to nod my head in assent.

He smiles and removes my shirt, tossing it onto the floor behind him. My bra quickly follows as does his shirt. He pulls me back against him and I revel in all his warm skin that's touching mine. He stands up easily, with me still attached to him and walks up the stairs to his bedroom.

Sex with Eric has always been excellent, the best I've had. But all of the times Eric has made love to me pale in comparison to what he shows me tonight. Primal passion, raw need, and unwavering love rule the moment. His movements are unhurried yet desperate, unrelenting yet gentle and his eyes...his eyes have never burned so bright. His fiery gaze stays steady on mine from when he enters me, through my quivering peak, all the way until his gasping, shuddering finish. And then he collapses on top of me, panting, and whispering sweet words into my ear.

I am reluctant to break this feeling but it's late and I need to go home tonight. I promised I'd help Amelia's girlfriend, Tracy, plan for her birthday party this coming weekend.

"Eric," I whisper. He has stopped murmuring to me and is now just breathing steadily against my neck. "Eric," I whisper again when he doesn't respond. When he is still just breathing, I realize that he must have fallen asleep on top of me. Well, he's half on me— one leg and most of his torso is on top of me. I carefully scoot out from under him and he doesn't even stir. I guess he's pretty tired out and dead to the world at this point.

There is something almost magical about the way a person's face changes when they sleep. As I stand watching Eric in his slumber, I am struck again by how utterly beautiful he is. His face holds no stress—there are no lines of worry above his brow, his mouth is soft and relaxed. The way his hair falls over his ear and his forehead makes him look boyish and carefree. He is tranquil, here at rest—serene and peaceful, and the contrast from his earlier heartache is stark and unsettling. This is how I wish he would look all the time. Instead of distress, he would wear contentment, instead of disquiet, he would carry calm. I just want him to be happy, that's what he deserves.

I stand looking at him for another minute before I kiss his cheek and whisper my love against his skin. I put on my underwear and pants and then I go downstairs to find the rest of my clothes. I put on my bra and shirt, which is now wrinkled from its time on the floor. Once I'm dressed, I just sit for a while, thinking back over the evening and hoping that I helped Eric at least a little bit. I think he still needs to talk about his father and he really needs a good cry but I have no idea when that will happen. With a sigh, I get up to retrieve my coat and boots so I can be on my way. Just as I am reaching for the door to leave, my phone buzzes.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Sookie?" Eric gasps, speaking over me. He sounds out of breath. "Why did you leave me?"

"You were sleeping. I thought I'd let you rest," I say. He's upset and now I feel bad for leaving him like that.

"Next time wake me up!" he pleads.

"Ok, but I'm still downstairs. Do you want me to..."

He appears on the landing before I can even finish that sentence. He's completely naked and slightly panicked. He takes the stairs three at a time which, for his long legs, is not as difficult as it would seem. He grabs me in a tight hug, not caring that he has nothing on.

"Eric!" I say, startled.

"Don't do that to me. Don't do that to me ever again!" he begs.

"Okay, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd mind. I can't stay, I have something to do and you were asleep. I'm sorry," I say, kissing his neck and up to his mouth.

He kisses me softly, holding my face between his large hands as if he's afraid I will disappear. I really did not mean to upset him so much and I feel bad that he is this affected by me leaving him sleeping.

He pulls back from the kiss panting, his eyes wild. I put my hands on his cheeks and trace his eyebrows with my thumbs and he closes his eyes, sighing. His body melts into mine and he tucks his face into my neck, just breathing.

"I'm sorry, Eric," I whisper, stroking his soft hair. "Why are you so upset?"

"I had a bad dream," he says. "And then I woke up and you were gone. I expected to see your face but you were gone."

"Tell me about it," I say, taking off my coat and boots and leading him back upstairs. We sit on his bed and I hand him his underwear while he starts to speak.

"No, it's fine," he says, but I can tell it's not fine. He is really rattled and I would love for him to tell me why.

"Eric, I know you well enough to know that it's not fine. You're shaken up. Tell me, please."

"I had a dream about my father. He was in my house. He told me that I'd never be good enough for you, that you were going to leave me. He said that I wasn't capable of loving you the way you deserve. That I was damned to be always alone." Anguish. Again.

"That's not true. You know that's not true," I say with my hand on his cheek.

"I know that. In my head I know that. But sometimes my heart forgets," he says. His poet's heart, so sensitive and fragile.

"I'll help you when you feel like that. I will be there, whispering to your heart, erasing your doubts. I love you and I will never let you go, Eric."

He gives me a breath stealing look and pulls me into his arms, holding me against his body as he scoots back on his bed. Tracy will have to wait. I need to stay for him. He tightens his hold on me and lays his cheek on the top of my head, sighing.

Tears. Mine but not his. Not yet.

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**Thank you for reading. Go watch a happy movie! Lol.**

**oh- I know cry it out can be a controversial subject and I am in no way making a statement about it via Eric. I hope I have made it clear that each family decides for themselves how to parent. You know that "opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the viewpoint" of the whoever? Yeah, that. :)**

**please review!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Thank you for reading! I wanted to thank a few people for their support of this story. Both lostinspace33 and magsmacdonald recommended this story to their readers and I am very grateful for that. They both are excellent writers so if you haven't yet, please check out their work. Also my PM buddy/idea helper, padore, who is great to bounce ideas off of, has helped me a lot. So thank you ladies!**

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ERIC

I wake up with my heart racing. I feel sick to my stomach remembering my dream. I look around for Sookie because I know I fell asleep with her and I need her. She will make me feel better. I know she will because she always does.

I haven't dreamt about my father since I found out Sophie was pregnant. Knowing I would be a father made me think of mine. By then he was no longer alive but he still managed to ruin most of my dreams telling me what a dismal failure at fatherhood I would be. I know it's my subconscious that is driving my dreams but somehow having those sentiments delivered by the person who hurt me the most makes it even worse. It's fucking horrible because not only do I feel distressed over his words, but I feel helpless and small in his presence like I did as a boy. And I never defend myself in my dreams. I just cower and cry, begging him to stop. Begging him for encouragement instead of condemnation. But all he ever does is hurt me, yelling in my face, laughing at my tears. Again and again.

So when I look for Sookie and find that she left, I am momentarily panicked and I can't stop the wave of adrenaline that makes my heart hammer in my chest and my breath speed up. I'm surprised I can even think well enough to call her and when she says she is downstairs, I sprint to her side, pulling her into my arms. I beg her not to leave me like that again. I need her to stay. I need to hold her face in my hands and kiss her. I need to breathe into her neck until I calm down.

I know I'm acting like a fool but I don't want to start this again—the dreams. I don't want to see his face, I don't want to hear his cruel words. I don't want to think about him ever again. But she wants me to tell her what is wrong. She can tell something is, just like always. She always knows what's going on with me which is both good and bad.

It's her face that gets me to tell her about my dream. Her kind eyes that look at me with so much warmth that I want to weep in her arms. Instead I tell her what my father told me in my dream and then she caresses my face and assures me with her gentle words. She will not let go of me, she says. If only that was true. I'm sure she means it now but who can know the future? Realistically, she can't know that but I appreciate the sincerity of her words and I hold her and lie down with her held snugly against my body.

"Will you stay for a while?" I ask. I know she has somewhere to be but I just want to hold her for a little while.

"For as long as you need," she whispers.

I gently turn her body so that she faces me. "Why are you crying?" I ask. I knew I heard tears in her voice.

"I don't know. I just...I'm sad that I made you panic like that. I'm sad that you have dreams like that. I'm sad that you doubt yourself so much. I just want you to be happy, Eric. I love you."

"You make me happy," I say, kissing her forehead. I wipe her tears but they keep falling. I hate tears, I never know how to respond. "Please don't cry. Don't cry for me. I'm okay. The dreams will stop soon."

"Do you have dreams like that a lot?" she asks, sniffling.

"Not for a long time. Not since I found out about Annika."

She kisses me softly on the lips and pushes her body all the way up to mine until there is no space between us. Her head is tucked under my chin and I know she's still crying because I can hear her sniffing and feel her tears fall against my neck. I don't know what to do here. The only crying I know how to stop is Annika's so when I can't think of anything else to do, I do what always works for Anni. I start to hum and gently rock Sookie in my arms and she sighs against my skin.

After a few minutes, she pulls back and kisses my chin and then wipes her hands across my neck where her tears fell. "How is it that you made me feel so much better but I meant to comfort you?" she says with a slight laugh.

"I'm a really good boyfriend," I say, smiling.

She looks up at me, pulling back enough to see my eyes. "You are, Eric. You really are," she says with earnest and adoring eyes.

These looks that she gives me—they always make me feel so strange. Like maybe I could be what she needs because she loves me just that much. Like maybe she will want me forever like she promises. Maybe she will keep loving me even when I fuck up, even when she knows everything about me, even when she sees all the unlovable parts of me. I feel hopeful in her eyes and that's not something I'm used to feeling.

"I love you, Sookie. But even those words are meaningless compared to how I feel. You are so good to me and even though I don't feel like I deserve it, I'm going to do my best to be worthy of you every single day that you still want me."

"You're going to make me cry again," she says with tears in her eyes.

"Please don't. I'm sorry! Please don't cry anymore," I say, kissing her cheeks.

"I won't," she says smiling a little.

"You can go if you need to Sookie. I know you didn't plan to spend the night."

"Are you sure? You're okay?"

"I'm always okay, Sookie. I have to be."

"Baby," she whispers so softly that I barely hear it.

She kisses my chest and up my neck and by that point I'm starting to get hard so I pull back from her because I'm only wearing underwear and she will notice. I sit up and she follows.

"Let me take care of you," she says, putting her hand over my cock, "Let me make you feel good before I leave."

I put my hand over hers and pull it away. "No, Sookie, it's okay. You should go. I've kept you here long enough."

She stares at me for a couple seconds, probably trying to see if I'm seriously refusing an orgasm. Yeah, I am and believe me it's difficult but I'm not just a dick, I also have a heart that knows Sookie loves me and doesn't want me to be sad. I don't think she feels like having sex, she just wants to make me feel better.

"I'm happy to be here with you, Eric. If Amelia's birthday wasn't this weekend and we didn't have to interview the nanny tomorrow night, you know I'd stay."

"Do you want to take Amelia with you to the spa for her birthday? That way you have a friend with you. I'll pay for whatever she wants to do too."

"Oh, no, Eric! That would be way too much!"

"Of course it wouldn't. You'd both have fun and she'd keep my girl company. Please let me do this for you both. Besides, I need to thank her for packing those very nice pajamas for you when I was sick," I say with a smirk.

"You really are the best boyfriend!" she says, hugging my neck. "But, god, get dressed or I'm going to jump you," she laughs.

"Oh, you can't resist me, huh?" I tease, thrusting my hips out a little.

"I really can't, you know," she says, getting off the bed. "I'm glad you feel better. You are invited to whatever we plan for Amelia, Eric. I don't know if you'd want to meet any of my friends. Probably not, right? We're all in college and you're not. Don't feel like you have to come. In fact, just forget–"

"Sookie," I say, cutting in, "I would love to meet your friends. I just am not big into the party scene. Let me know what you plan, and I'll see how I feel...assuming I have a babysitter. Okay?"

She smiles brightly at me. "Okay," she says.

I get up to follow her downstairs to lock up after her and she holds me for a long time after she puts her coat and boots on. I don't really want her to go so I'm happy to be in her arms for as long as she'll let me. By the time she releases me, my dick is hard but it's not really my fault. She pressed up against me and she feels so good.

She looks pointedly at my dick and then to my face with a little grin. "Naughty naughty, Northman," she says and I growl before I can stop myself.

"It's not my fault," I protest, "Stop being so soft and curvy and I'll stop getting hard every time we hug."

She grins. "You might want to back up if you don't want to get frozen. You're not dressed for the weather," she says, looking at my underwear. "Or maybe a blast of cold air is just what you need."

She winks at me and I want to push her against the door and kiss her senseless. But I pretty much always want to do that so I back up after I kiss her briefly and she opens the door and disappears into the dark.

As I make my way back upstairs I think about the fact that I'm not going to sleep well tonight. Both because Sookie is not here and because of my dream. I hate my fucking father. I hate being scared to go to sleep because I dread seeing his face in my dreams. And for the first time, I realize that I am nothing like him. I don't yell all the time, I'm not scary, I let people cry without telling them they're pathetic. Maybe I am a good father. I'm better than him, at least. Maybe I should believe Sookie when she says that Annika is lucky to have me. She's certainly lucky to not have _him_. I am so thankful for Sookie. She won't let me run from her and that's just what I need. How did I get so lucky that she loves me?

Before I get back in bed I brush my teeth and take a quick shower. Just as I am lying down, my phone rings.

"Sookie? Are you okay?" I ask, scared that she's calling because something is wrong. I hate that she goes walking through the city alone at night but she's a grown up and can make her own decisions.

"Come let me in," she says.

"Are you here? You're back?" I say, and even I know I sound like an overexcited idiot.

"I am and I'm freezing so hurry!" she says, laughing.

I fly down the stairs and yank open the door, pulling her in and against my body in one quick motion. I kick the door closed and lock it with Sookie still in my arms. I'm just so happy she is back!

"Again with the naked?" she says, backing up and looking me up and down.

"I was in bed. You were supposed to be gone. What happened?"

"Tracy was already in bed when I called so we decided to just text plans tomorrow. So I'm back...unless you don't want me," she says playfully.

"I always want you," I say with a little too much sex in my voice. Truth is, I'm tired. And now that Sookie is here and I know I'll be able to sleep, I want to do just that.

"Can we just sleep? I'm exhausted," she says and it amazes me how we are so in tune with each other.

"We can. Come on," I say, taking her hand and walking up the stairs.

"I have nothing to sleep in," she says when we get to my room.

"Neither do I."

"I can't sleep naked, Eric. Not all night, not unless, you know."

"Unless it's after sex?"

"Yeah, and even then I always wake up to put something on. Otherwise, I just...can't," she says and she looks a bit strange.

I don't want her to feel uncomfortable so I jump up and grab one of my t-shirts for her and a pair of boxers. "Do you want these?" I ask.

"Just the shirt is good, thank you." She undresses and I try unsuccessfully to keep my dick in check. Her naked body is so goddamn sexy and even though I just want to sleep, apparently my dick didn't get that message. And even when she puts on my shirt, she just looks so good in it that it's a losing battle with my dick.

She climbs in bed after me and turns out the light. I pull her close to my body, spooning her from behind, but careful not to push my erection against her. "I'm so glad you came back," I whisper as I kiss her head.

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SOOKIE

I wake up in the morning before Eric, somehow having stollen all the covers in the night. And it's because I have all the covers, which leaves Eric with none of the covers, that I know I am lying beside a completely naked, completely aroused, completely asleep Eric. The man likes to wear as little as possible whenever possible but I am not complaining! Looking at him, I can tell he's dreaming and it's probably the small noises he's making that woke me up.

I am reminded of the other time he woke me up making noises while dreaming. This time, I don't run out of the room, however. This time, I stay and watch.

He is obviously having some sort of pleasant dream and it takes all my willpower to look but not touch. His entire body, naked, laid out like a buffet and I don't touch? Geez, I must be a saint. Well, Saint Sookie does not last long because as soon as he starts to rock his hips the slightest amount, I can't help touching him. He's just so fucking beautiful. I start to kiss his shoulder and arm as I run my fingers through the blonde hair on his chest and the darker hair further down. Then I follow my fingers with my mouth and I can tell the instant Eric wakes up because his chest rumbles as he makes that growly noise I love so much.

"Sookie," he says in a sleepy voice. "Sookie, I had good dreams about you all night long."

"I'm glad, darlin'. Do you want to reenact one of them?" I say, looking up his body at him.

He smiles slowly, as if it's taking him a while to comprehend my words. "I do," he says, "Shower?"

We go into his bathroom and Eric presents me with a new toothbrush that he bought for me over the weekend. And I mean presents because he gives it to me with such a flourish, I'd have thought it was a Tiffany's necklace. But this is better, because it's just what I need and it means that he was thinking about me while he shopped. We brush our teeth together, giggling like children and then as soon as we're done, the mood turns very serious very quickly.

"Thank you for staying the night, Sookie," he says in between kisses to my lips and neck, "I sleep so much better with you next to me."

"It's nice for me too. You're like a big warm blanket."

"Does that mean you like me on top of you?" he says, his eyes heating up.

Shower sex. What can I say? It's freakin magnificent because Eric can hold me up against the wall even though I am not tiny. He's so damn big, though, that my body is nothing for him to lift. His thrusts are quick, his breath ragged as he licks and sucks on my neck.

"Don't mark me, Eric," I say. I will never live it down if any of my friends see a hickey on my neck.

He smirks at me but he doesn't suck my skin anymore, he just licks.

His hands are under my butt holding me up and his long fingers brush against my _other_ entrance. Once could be an accident so I don't do anything but when I feel it again I know it's purposeful and I squeak without really meaning to.

Eric looks at my face. "No?" he asks.

"No," I say grimacing.

He move his fingers away, shrugs and says, "Okay," and then continues kissing my neck and breasts.

I guess I'm not used to being respected because every time he easily and willingly follows my wishes, I am somewhat shocked. There is no arguing, no pouting or ignoring— he just does what I ask. I suppose it is pretty sad that I'm surprised by that. Stupid fucking Bill! I wasted so much time with him.

Eric does something with his hips that brings me back to the moment and makes me gasp. I know he's close because he's grunting with every thrust and he has an intense look of concentration on his face.

"Kiss me, Eric," I say, tugging his head up by his hair.

He growls, which is just what I wanted. He crushes his lips to mine and I open my mouth for his seeking tongue. His kiss brings me very close to the edge and I move my mouth to his ear, biting his earlobe gently. His chest vibrates and his hips push me into the wall with more force. It's just what I need to reach my climax and he quickly follows after me. We breathe together, foreheads touching, until our breathing calms and then he sets me down and pulls off the condom to throw it away.

This time I wash him, running my fingers over his entire body. I make him kneel down so I can wash his beautiful hair and he purrs like a kitty while my fingernails tickle his scalp.

"Are you going to grow your hair again?" I ask.

"Did you like it long? Is that why you got so flustered when you asked me why I cut it?"

His eyes are closed so shampoo doesn't get in them otherwise I might not answer his question. "I love long hair. Your hair was so pretty and it reminded me of Vikings. But I like it short too. You're gorgeous any way you slice it."

He laughs. "Vikings, huh? Maybe I'll grow it longer than it is now but probably not as long as it was."

I rinse and condition him and then wash myself quickly while he stares at me. Really kind of embarrassing but I know he is only thinking good thoughts by the look on his face and the _enthusiasm_ of his body.

We get out and dry quickly and go into his bedroom. When I start to get dressed I realize that I'm clean but I'll have to wear dirty clothes today. Maybe he wouldn't mind if I keep a spare outfit here.

"Here," he says, handing me the underwear he took from me the other night. "I washed it just like I said. And if you want to bring some clothes to stash here for impromptu sleepovers that would be good." He grins at me. I know he likes sleepovers and I like that he's okay with me keeping things at his place.

"Yeah? You wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not! Why would I mind? That just means you'll be more comfortable here."

"I guess. I'm just surprised by how considerate you are. It's just something I'm not used to. Bill...well, it doesn't matter."

He gets this look in his eye and if I didn't know it wasn't directed at me, I'd be shaking right now. "Bill is an asshole. If I ever meet him, God help him if he so much as looks at you wrong!"

"You are so sexy right now. Scary...but sexy," I say wrapping my arms around him. His heart is thundering in his chest so I rub his back until it slows down. It's nice just to hold him for a while. "Get dressed," I say, patting his butt. How he has not managed to put on a single piece of clothing when I'm already completely dressed is baffling. Not that I mind the full view.

I make breakfast while he dresses and he comes down with Annika. We all eat together and then we girls send him off to work with kisses and hugs.

"He sure is adorable, isn't he Anni?"

"Da da," she says sadly, pointing to the door. It seems like she might cry because he left, which is a first, so I quickly distract her with some more fruit and a song.

Our day goes by pretty uneventfully. We take a walk because it's not too cold and Anni enjoys the sunshine and squirrels that scamper about.

When she sleeps, I text Tracy to plan Amelia's party. We decide that I will take her to the spa on Saturday morning and then we'll go out to lunch just the three of us. Later we'll do some bar hopping with more friends and hopefully Eric will meet us at one of the bars. I'll pick a low key one to invite him to because he's not the rowdy bar type. But I hope he comes because Tracy and Amelia are dying to meet him and even John wants to meet the man that keeps occupying his "personal chef." I warned John not to be an ass because Eric does not play like that so hopefully he will listen.

Eric brings home pizza–proper Italian pizza from the North End–and we devour it quickly because we have Haley coming tonight.

"So Haley should be here in about fifteen minutes. Are you nervous?" he says when we're finished eating. He is finished clearing the table and is walking into the living room.

"Nervous? Because she's our last hope? Kind of," I answer.

He laughs. "No," he says, "Because she might want to end up in my bed."

"You're not funny, Northman!"

"I think I'm very funny, _Stackhouse_," he says with his sexy lopsided grin. God, I just want to lick his mouth when he makes that face.

I walk up to him and grab his tie, pulling it and him to me. His eyes widen momentarily and then darken just before his mouth crashes into mine. I walk forward which pushes him to walk backward until his back hits the wall. He groans when I keep walking until my body is pressed to his. I dominate his tongue with mine, making him open so I can sweep it into his mouth. I suck hard on his bottom lip, careful not to bite because I don't want to flip that switch. When I finally pull back, he is panting, his body is tight and hard and he's ready to strike.

"Damn, Sookie," he says, resting the back of his head on the wall.

"Who do you want in your bed?" I say, drawing my fingers down my chest.

His eyes follow my fingers and then come back to my face. "Goddamn, girl. Just you. Fuck," he pants, "Just you."

"That's right," I say, walking away and leaving him to get control of himself.

It takes him a minute but he eventually moves from the wall and sits next to me on the couch near where Annika is playing. I grab his hand and kiss his palm as a sort of apology for messing with him. He is just so easy to rile up. His body's response to mine is fantastic.

"You're mean," he says with a little boy pout.

"You're adorable," I say, smiling, which just makes him scowl more. I love this sweet face. This man is pure sex at times and then at others, he's a little boy who I want to cradle and caress.

"What are we going to do if this woman doesn't work out?" I ask him to change the subject back to the matter at hand.

"Well, you'll just have to quit school and take care of us," he says, grinning.

"Yeah, that'll happen," I say and I'm pretty sure I see a small amount of disappointment on his face. But, as much as I love them both, I am not quitting school for anyone, especially not at this point. Before I can say anything more, a knock at the door alerts us that Haley is here. This should be interesting because she is much older than either of us. The interview could be awkward but I hope not.

"Ready?" he says, standing up and straightening his tie.

"Yup," I say, picking up Annika and taking his hand.

As soon as Eric opens the door, I know we have hit the jackpot. Standing on the threshold is the cutest, sweetest looking lady with the warmest smile I have ever seen.

"Hello!" she says, "So nice to see you. Mary has told me so many good things about you and I see she is correct that you are just the sweetest family ever! Look at this doll!"

She's British! Mary Poppins fantasies play through my head and I grin at Eric who grins back at me. I think I'm in love with her!

"Come right in," says Eric.

We step back and she comes in and touches Annika's cheek. "Such a sweetie! And you, dear boy," she says to Eric, who beams like a small child visiting Santa Claus, "Mary was right that you are so very tall and such a handsome fellow!"

"Thank you," he mumbles, blushing. Eric Northman—shy! Oh, she has to stay!

"I'm Sookie. I've been taking care of Annika but I start back at school next week. It's so nice to meet you, Haley."

"You too dear. Mary told me you are her favorite of all the nannies. But it seems you are more than just the nanny," she says with a wink, glancing at our clasped hands.

Now it's my turn to blush and I look at Eric who grins and winks at me. "Yes, she's my girlfriend," he says. "Would you like to come sit down in the living room?"

We all walk into the living room and I sit Annika on the floor and then sit down on the other side of Eric. Haley sits in the leather chair across from him and Annika immediately crawls to her and pulls up on her legs. Haley smiles down to her and strokes her hair.

"Well, hello there, cherub," she says in a soft voice. Eric and I exchange a happy look because this is going very well so far.

"Thank you for coming, Haley," he says, "We were hoping you could tell us a little about yourself and your experience with children."

"Oh, of course! Let me give you my resume," she says, getting it out and handing it to Eric. "As you can see, most of my job experience is years and years ago but I have enjoyed volunteering with my children's schools and the local library story time. For the past few months, since my youngest went off to school, I have been volunteering in hospital helping with the babies. And then of course, there is my grandson, Charlie who is just four months old but already the most handsome baby boy in the world! But he lives all the way in Connecticut. Oh, I miss him so much!"

Okay, so she rambles. That's fine. She is so lovely and I know I tend to ramble when I'm nervous too.

"Mary said you have three sons. That must have been lively!" I say. My brother was quite a handful and I cannot imagine three of him!

"Oh, yes! I have Michael, Charles, and Andrew. It was quite a bit of fun! They can be a lot of work at times but we had so much fun together. You both are lucky—you have your lives ahead of you. Cherish every moment with this angel because it does go by so fast!"

"I know!" says Eric, "I can't believe Annika is almost one."

Haley asks about hours and expectations and Eric answers. Eric asks some more questions about Haley and we find out that her youngest attends Harvard, which makes Eric happy since that's his alma mater. Haley seems the perfect mix of playful and grandmotherly. She is probably in her late fifties or early sixties and she is spirited and joyful. She reminds me of my gran and it makes me miss her even more.

Because Haley did not apply via the nanny service which screens all applicants—though maybe not as well as they should—Eric tells Haley that he will call her with his decision tomorrow. He wants to check her references but I'm sure they will be stellar.

We all get up and walk Haley to the door and she shakes our hands and wishes us a good night. She waves to Annika who waves and smiles back. Haley was really good with Annika. While we talked Anni just kind of hung out next to her and Haley would smile at her and touch her gently but she never got in her face or tried to pick her up before Annika indicated with raised arms that she wanted that. It made me happy to see her treat Annika with respect. Too many adults just think babies are not people or something and they don't take their feelings into consideration. But Haley was careful to make sure Anni was feeling comfortable with her and it was nice to see.

"Eric, she's perfect," I gush as soon as he closes the door.

"She was pretty perfect, wasn't she?"

"She's Mary Poppins—practically perfect in every way! I kept almost slipping and calling her Mary the whole time!"

He laughs. "And what did you think, Anni?" he says, kissing her forehead.

"Da da!" she squeals, slobbering on his cheek. He loves her kisses even though they are very sloppy.

"I think that's her seal of approval!"

"Yup! Do you want me to call her references or will you?" I ask.

"Wanna each take one?"

"Sure."

He comes close to me and hugs me with his free arm. My face is just about in his armpit but he smells so good. How is that possible? It's like he never sweats. I must have groaned because he pulls back and looks at me with amusement in his eyes.

"I like the way you smell," I say, no doubt blushing furiously. I'm sniffing his freaking armpit like a crazy person! I have problems!

"Thanks, weirdo," he says, laughing. When he stops laughing, his eyes shine with heartfelt emotion. "Thank you so much for helping me find a nanny for Anni. I really am grateful for all your help. You are so good to us," he says, kissing me softly.

"You're welcome, honey. I'm happy to help!"

"I need to get this little one in bed, do you want to stay and wait or do you need to go home?" I know which he wants me to choose.

"You know I would love to stay but I have to get to the bookstore early tomorrow to get my books for this semester. I need to be there right when they open so I can get here in time."

"How about I go into work late so you can stay for just a little while after I put her to bed?"

"Yeah? You would do that for me?"

"For both of us," he smirks. "Go to the bookstore an hour later and stay here an hour longer. Please?"

God, his eyes make him impossible to resist. "Alright, I'll stay for a little while. Can I come up while you get her ready for bed?" I know he likes this time with her but maybe he won't mind if I tag along.

"Of course!" he says.

He holds his hand out for mine and we walk upstairs together with Annika. I am going to miss them so so much when I go back to school. Like_ I don't know how I'm going to cop_e miss them. I'm not looking forward to it and I know Eric is not. I know that's why he's willing to go into work an hour late just to spend an extra hour with me tonight. And I know what he wants but I also know that he'd be content just to talk to me for that hour if I didn't want it too.

Watching Eric take care of his daughter is always so achingly precious. I love the gentle way he talks to her—even if I can't understand what he says, the way he kisses her head, the smile he has just for her. She has an equally dear smile just for him. He dotes on her, the depth of his love for her can be seen in all his actions, and it is entirely captivating to watch them together. They are just beautiful and even though she was not planned and Eric was left scrambling to fit her into his solitary life, they are both incredibly lucky to have each other.

He brings her over to me for a kiss before he rocks her to sleep, and I slip into his bedroom to wait for him. I pull off my jeans and shirt and lie on his bed until he's done with Annika.

I must have fallen asleep waiting on his bed because the next thing I know, strong arms wrap around me from behind and Eric scoots his body up to mine, holding me tight. I turn my face to look at him and he kisses my cheek softly.

"Shh, go back to sleep. I'll wake you up in an hour so you can leave," he whispers.

"You're so warm," I whisper, turning around to face him. He has only underwear on and I lay my cheek against his chest and put my arm around his waist, pulling him closer.

An hour later, when his phone alarm goes off, I am reluctant to leave the warmth of his arms but I know I need to go home. I have nothing clean to put on for tomorrow and as much as I would like to sleep with him every night, that's not realistic at this point in our relationship.

"I'm calling you a cab and don't say no. You're tired," he says.

"Thank you, honey. You're right. I'll take a cab."

"Good," he says sighing. I know he would have let me do what I wanted but it's nice that he cares.

We both get dressed while we wait for the cab. "Eric, are you disappointed that we just slept? Isn't that kind of a waste of our hour together?" I ask. I feel kind of guilty.

"Sookie, any time I get to spend with you could never be a waste. I got to hold you close and sleep with my arms around you, that feels good too."

"I love you more and more everyday, Eric. You say the sweetest most lovely things to me."

"Kiss me until the cab comes," he says, pulling my face to his.

So I do and we hear the honk way too soon. We pull away reluctantly and Eric opens the door for me.

"I love you, Sookie. I'll miss you until tomorrow," he murmurs against my cheek where he kisses me.

"Love you too, baby. Goodnight."

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**Thanks so much for reading! Please review if you would be so kind!**

**A guest reviewer asked if they used a condom the night before, after Eric was so upset. The answer is yes. I didn't really explicitly write it because it wasn't a step by step love scene but yes, they did use one. Guests—sign in! I would love to thank you personally and answer your questions over PM. I always feel bad that I can't.**


	28. Chapter 28

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ERIC

"Thank you, Haley. Sookie, will you walk me out?" I ask as I gather my briefcase.

"Sure," she says, walking over to me with a smile.

"I love you. Have a good day," I say, kissing her briefly behind the open door.

"I love you, too, Eric. I'm so glad it's Friday."

"So am I. I'm looking forward to you staying over tonight."

We say our goodbyes and I drive into work feeling excited about my impending night with Sookie. I haven't gotten to spend much time with her this week. We haven't had sex in days and my dick is about to start a revolt. And what's worse, I haven't slept well in days because I've been alone and plagued with bad dreams. Things have been good between us but we have both been busy and tired. I'm working towards completing this merger and Sookie has been busy planning for the start of her semester and for her friend's birthday party. I will be attending that party for a little while because Sookie really wants me to. I can't say that I'm looking forward to it but I am only going to one bar that Sookie assures me is not too loud and annoying. She wants me to meet her friends, which I _am_ looking forward to. Anything to be more a part of her life.

Haley is working out extremely well. She has been coming over for a few hours for the past two days so that Annika can get used to her. Today she is staying the whole day and Sookie will be running a couple of errands for Amelia's birthday to see how Anni does. Truthfully, I'm worried. Annika has been out of sorts this week according to Sookie. She cries when I leave, although Sookie is able to soothe her quickly. Not that I think Haley is the problem. Haley is nothing but sweet and caring and Annika started crying for me before she even started coming over. I guess Anni is at just the right age for separation anxiety. That's what the book I read said. Separation and stranger anxiety get bad around nine months so this might be a bad time for a transition to a new nanny but hopefully she will bounce back to being her laid back self soon. Honestly, it kills me to know that she cries for me when I leave even if it's for less than five minutes. I hate the thought of it but there is nothing I can do about it. At least she has two caring women to make her feel better.

As I arrive at work and walk through to my office I get a weird feeling like everyone I pass is staring after me. I don't know what that's about. But I have a pretty good guess as soon as I see who is next to Pam's desk.

Victoria Madden and Pam are having a heated, but quiet, argument. Pam is right in her face whisper yelling.

"You will not go in!" she says and then she sees me and sits down with a huff. A huff of annoyance or relief I am not sure.

"What's going on?" I say, eyeing both women. This is something I do not need. All week I have managed to avoid this blasted woman and I won't let her ruin my Friday.

"I haven't been able to catch you all week, Eric and I can't let the week go by without a conversation. Let me into your office. I want to talk to you," Victoria says. Her voice is sweet but menacing. She is not used to being challenged. Fuck that.

"What do you wish to discuss, Mrs. Madden?" I take every opportunity to remind her of her marriage. She has a husband, a boy on the side, and she still wants in my pants. She is unbelievable!

"In your office, Eric."

"I am a busy man. I don't have time for frivolous meetings today. Tell me what you want or make an appointment for next week."

She crosses her arms and taps her foot and it makes her look like a teenager. But considering she is fucking one, why the hell not act like one too?

"It would be a shame if your entire weekend became busy, Eric. Let me into your office. Now."

Goddamn this fucking woman. I don't like to call women bitches but she is sure the hell acting like one.

Pam stands up and crosses her arms too. "Don't think I am worried about any paltry influence you might have with Desmond, Victoria. Keep pushing your luck and Eric and I will go to Threadgill with the information we have on you and Andre. Who do you think will be out on her ass then?"

"Try it. Andre will cover for me. He is no angel. He's used to lying, trust me," she sneers. She's right. Andre is no innocent little boy. This could complicate things.

I look at Pam, who is looking decidedly less smug. Shit!

"Go in my office and wait," I tell Madden, to which she smiles triumphantly and I have never had to tamp down my desire to hit someone more. She is lucky I know better than to use my fists to solve my problems.

"Pam, what the fuck can we do here? Do you have evidence?"

"Unfortunately no. My contact had her going to the boy's house and when she didn't come out for a while, he left, figuring what was going on. When I accused her, I wasn't one hundred percent but she basically confirmed it herself. I have no real evidence but I will get on that right away." She looks ashamed that she failed me but of course, she shouldn't feel that way.

"Thank you, Pam. In the meantime, I will try to get rid of her quickly."

She nods at me as I enter my office, leaving the door open.

"What do you want?" I ask in a very annoyed tone. I'm not hiding it anymore. She annoys the fuck out of me and from now on, she will know it.

"Come now, Eric," she purrs, walking up to me. "That's no way to speak to your number one client."

"Again—What. Do. You. Want?" I say, through gritted teeth.

"I think that's perfectly obvious, Eric," she says as she tries to close the distance between us. She will never lay hands on me again if I can help it. I go to sit behind my desk, hoping the furniture between us with keep her from coming closer. "I want you," she whispers, leaning across my desk.

"I'm taken. And even if I wasn't, we would never happen. Now, do you have actual business to discuss or will you be on your way?"

She actually looks taken aback. But then she looks murderous. "You, Eric Northman, single father who never smiles at or talks to anyone. Who never goes out, just works works works. You are taken? By whom? Some little floozy who has caviar dreams and mommy aspirations?"

I force myself to take a deep breath before I fly over the desk and rip off her head. "That is none of your business. Leave my office. Now!"

Her eyes widen at my last bellowed word and she walks quickly to my door. But before she leaves, she turns and with narrowed eyes hisses, "This is far from over!"

Pam comes in as soon as Madden is gone and finds me with my head in my hands and my eyes closed. I don't need this stress right now. I'm dealing with enough.

"Eric," she says softly, "It's going to be okay. My guy assures me he can get hard evidence. He will be on her all weekend. Okay?"

I stand up abruptly and grab the gym bag I always keep in my office. "I'm going to work out before I beat the shit out of somebody. Give me an hour."

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SOOKIE

"So, I'll be back in about an hour, Haley. I hope she doesn't cry but try singing if she does and hopefully she'll be okay." I kiss Annika goodbye and head for the door.

"Kie!" she calls after me.

"Bye, sweet girl," I call back. As I close the door to leave, I hear her start to cry and then I hear Haley talking soothingly to her. I hope she'll be okay.

I head to the T to take a train to the bakery where I will pick up Amelia's cake. We'll have that after lunch with some friends from school. Once I get the cake, I take it back to my dorm and stash it in my suite fridge.

"Sookie!" says Tracy in a loud whisper, coming out of Amelia's room. She motions me to the hallway to talk.

"Cake's in the fridge," I say.

"Great! And I made reservations for us for lunch on Newbury Street. It's right near the spa so once you guys are done, we can eat. I think the only thing left is to put up decorations and I'll do that tomorrow while you are at the spa."

"Right. Make sure Amelia meets me at the spa at nine o'clock. I'm staying with Eric tonight so I'll meet her there. He said he already made all the arrangements for us."

"It's so nice of him to pay for Amelia too. You're lucky, Sookie. I can't wait to meet him! He's coming, right?"

"Yeah, the new nanny is going to stay with his daughter since she'll be asleep anyway and he said he'd come to one, maybe two places with us. If we decide to go clubbing, he will bow out though. That's not his thing."

"Well, I'm glad he's coming to at least one bar. We want to meet the man who makes you so happy. It's really nice to see."

"He does make me happy. He is the sweetest man!" I say, smiling like a loon. As if he knows I'm talking about him, I receive a text from him at that moment.

"What's wrong?" asks Tracy as I start typing my reply.

"Oh, he has to work late," I say.

"That sucks. He works a lot?"

"Yeah. He's a lawyer and he has some important merger going on right now."

"What are you going to do next week? You can't spend the nights anymore."

"I don't know what I'm going to do...besides miss him and his baby. Between classes and the research lab, I won't have much time. Luckily I have a pretty free Tuesday so I hope to be able to see him then. And on the weekends of course. It'll have to be enough. I hope it's enough."

"Aw, I didn't mean to upset you, hun. I'm sorry. I'm sure it will work out."

Tracy hugs me and I head back to Eric's house feeling pretty low. I really am dreading starting classes next week.

"How was she?" I ask when I come back to find Annika asleep on Haley's shoulder.

"Oh, Sookie, she cried and even singing didn't help. I just kept singing and walking around with her because that made her the happiest even though she was still upset. She fell asleep a little while ago and I didn't want her to wake up if I put her down. Such a sad angel."

I can tell Haley is upset that she couldn't soothe Annika but she did the best she could and I know eventually Anni will be happy with her.

"Well, you can only do so much. She'll get used to you soon, I'm sure," I say smiling.

"I'm sure she will, dear. It will just be hard on us both until she does. I just can't stand to see little ones so sad. So heartbreaking."

"Yes, but when you talk to Eric about it, try not to make it seem so horrible. I'm not saying lie to him but try to..."

"Break it to him gently?"

"Exactly. He's not good with her tears. It really makes him feel guilty. I know it's killing him that she cries when he leaves now."

"I can tell. Such a tenderhearted fellow."

I smile. "He is."

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ERIC

When I return from the gym, I feel measurably better—less murderous anyway. Unfortunately it doesn't last long. I get a call from my boss telling me that Madden has asked for me to accompany her on a business trip to New York City this weekend. The only reason I get out of it is because I tell him that I can't ask my nanny to go somewhere on such short notice and on a weekend no less. But this leaves me reeling. If these are the lengths to which this bitch is willing to go, I have seriously underestimated her crazy.

Thinking that my day can only get better from here, I head to lunch. I just have to get away from work so I walk to the harbor and get a hot dog from the guy with the cart on the corner. It's cold and my coat is open, my scarf forgotten, but I don't care. The stress of my morning, the sadness of my baby, and the return of my girlfriend to school—everything that's making me feel like shit—comes crashing down around me making my chest tighten uncomfortably. My stomach feels sick and I throw away my untouched lunch and just walk.

By the time I get back to my office, it's been an hour, which is unusual considering I mostly eat lunch at my desk in fifteen minutes. Pam looks concerned as I pass her desk and she walks into my office with me, closing the door.

"Eric, are you okay?"

"No. Yes. I'm fine."

She raises her eyebrow at me but doesn't say anything about my strange answer. "Fine. Well, you are not going to like this but Madden has managed to come up with another thing she needs done right away. You're going to be here late tonight."

"Fuck!" I grit out, banging a fist on my desk.

"I'm sorry, Eric. I thought I had her. Who knew she was so fucked in the head?"

I smile because Pam looks really upset with herself and I don't want her to feel bad. "I appreciate your help, Pam. It will be okay. What does she want me to do?"

"Check your e-mail. She cc'd me on it just to make sure I know how much she's fucking you around."

Pam leaves and I check what stupid shit Madden wants me to do now. How she can come up with all these things she just must have right away is infuriating.

I decide to text Sookie that I will be late tonight. I would normally call but I don't trust myself to be able to have a friendly conversation with anyone right now.

_E: Will be late tonight. Work to finish. Sorry._

_S: What happened? How late? Can I call you?_

_E: No. Busy, sorry. Maybe around 10._

_S: :( Ok. See you then. I love you!_

_E: You too_

The rest of my day drags, and I mean drags. It feels like I've been at work for 24 hours by the time I put my coat on to go home and I realize I haven't eaten anything since breakfast. Not that I'm hungry—I'm just pissed. Fucking furious about every fucking thing I can think of that is not perfect in my life and for some reason right now, I can remember them all. I'm angry that Victoria Madden thinks she can toy with me and that I'll do whatever she wants, angry that I can't stay home when my baby cries for me, angry that my brother is a fucking heroin addict and not in my life, fucking pissed that my mother is still blinded by my dead father's money. But the worst part, the worst fucking part is that the love of my life is returning to school and I have no fucking idea how often I'll actually get to see her. The person who opened my heart and my world and breathed life into me, the one who sees my flaws and loves me anyway, the person my daughter loves almost as much as me—she is moving on from us, no longer taking care of us and I can't deal with it. I am coming unhinged and it feels fucking awful.

I think Sookie can sense my terrible mood because as soon as she sees me she silently wraps her arms around my waist and lays her cheek against my chest, holding me tight. And I know my bad mood is here to stay because not even that soothes me.

I sigh and step back, pulling her arms out from behind my back. "I'm tired, Sookie."

"Okay, come to the couch with me," she says grabbing my hand so that I can't refuse. She sits down and pulls me down until my head is in her lap. She runs her fingers through my hair and I sigh and close my eyes.

"Hey, Eric," she says once we have been sitting silently for a few minutes, "I was thinking about that situation with Victoria Madden and the kid she's sleeping with."

Great. "Why?" I was almost relaxed, my stress almost melted away and now this.

"Well, I was thinking you should tell his parents."

"No," I say, sitting up.

"Why not? Shouldn't they know?"

"He's eighteen, Sookie, what can they do?"

"Well, they can at least talk to him. If he still lives at home they can try to help him end the relationship."

"Trust me, Sookie, they don't care." I know Sophie's parents and their lack of any actual parenting. Let's just say that Sophie came by her lack of maternal instincts naturally. Her dad and step-mom never gave a fuck about her or her little brother. They traipsed around the world and left their kids in the company of nannies who did whatever the fuck they pleased. In fact, that little shit Andre crashed at our place more often than his own. I can't really say that I feel sorry for him, though. He was selling drugs the entire time I knew Sophie and neither she nor her parents did a damn thing about it. It was a constant source of stress for me and we fought over it often.

"What makes you say that? You can't know that. Maybe they just don't know." Shit. I really don't want to get into any Sophie bullshit tonight. This is the last thing I need.

"Well, right now, it's the only thing we have to hold over Madden's head. Maybe Pam will tell her to quit seeing the boy, I don't know. I'm kind of staying out of it as much as possible."

"Well, that's kind of shitty. He's just a boy. He may be eighteen but he's in high school and he obviously is not making smart decisions. Someone needs to help him. His parents need to be told."

"Sookie, not everyone lives in fucking fairy land where all the parents care about the kids and teach them right from wrong and love them unconditionally!" Shit! I don't want to yell at her but I'm losing it.

"I'm not saying that, Eric! Calm down. I'm just saying his parents have a right to know."

"Sookie, you know nothing of this world! His parents don't give a fuck! Okay? Believe it or not, some parents don't give a fuck!"

"But you don't know his parents! Don't tell me I don't know anything! Just because you have money and everyone in your world is rich like you! You think poor people don't make dick parents? You think all the poor kids are loved and all the sad little rich kids are not?"

"Goddamn it, Sookie! Leave it alone! You don't know anything about this!" Fuck! This is so not what I need tonight!

"What do you know? You're projecting your parents onto this Andre's parents! How do you know they're not good parents?"

"Because Andre is Sophie's fucking brother!" I blurt. Fucking hell!

She stands to her feet so fast she is almost a blur. "What?" she yells in a shrill voice.

"He's her step-brother. He's an ass and I'm not getting involved. I don't give a shit about him!"

"Well, that's a nice thing to say about Annika's uncle!" she yells with her hands fisted at her sides.

No. That was the wrong fucking thing to say. Anger, hot and ugly, wells up in me and I clench my fists to keep from hitting the table in front of me. "Don't fucking call him her uncle," I growl in a deceptively soft voice. "He is nothing to her. None of them are! None of them gave a damn when Sophie was pregnant, none of them cared when Annika was born and none of them give a fuck now! You don't know anything about this fucking family so don't lecture me on what's _nice_!" I was trying to stay quiet but by the end of my tirade my voice is raised with my anger.

"Shit, Eric. I'm sorry. Calm down."

"Don't tell me to fucking calm down. I hate that shit!" I say, raising my voice even more. I know I'm being an ass but I just seem to be spiraling out of control and I can't seem to stop it.

"Fine, Eric. I'm not staying here so you can yell and curse at me. Have a good night!"

She heads to the closet to get her coat and boots but as soon as she opens the closet door, I close it and stand behind her, caging her with my arms. She turns around to face me after taking a deep breath. My face is carefully blank because I am trying not to scare her but I don't want her to leave like this. I am unbelievably angry but not at her. It's just been a shitty day and I'm losing control of myself.

"Sookie, I—" I start to say.

"No. I'm leaving unless you calm down. Step back," she says and I immediately do, pushing my hands into my pockets so I don't either pull her against me or punch the wall. The emotions swirling through me are confusing. The mix is disconcerting—anger, sorrow, lust. At this point, I have no idea which will win out and I don't want to fight with her.

"You just don't know anything about this," I say with barely held calm. "I'm sorry I was rude to you. But maybe you should go."

She looks shocked even though it was her idea to leave. She reaches out to touch my face but I step back from her out of instinct, really. It's not a conscious decision but I don't want to be touched. I know myself well enough to know I am unstable right now and I don't want her to be hurt by me. Not physically, I would never hurt her that way but I am not nice right now and she doesn't need to stay to see me spiral even further down.

"Eric..." she sighs, putting on her coat and boots.

"I'm not doing well, Sookie. I had a shitty day and I think I should just go to bed. I'll call you tomorrow."

"I'll be busy all day for Amelia's birthday. Text me when you get yourself together," she says in a biting tone. I can't say it doesn't sting but I also know I deserve it.

She buttons her coat and turns quickly to the door. She turns back to me with an expression that drops my heart into my stomach. Her face is full of longing but I also know she's mad at me, and rightfully so. I'm being a major asshole right now and the worst part is that I know that but I am unable to fix myself. She's right, I need to get myself together but I can't right now.

She looks at me for a moment and then she whispers, "I love you, Eric," and is gone before I can even respond and say it back. As soon as the door closes I lean against the wall and let my head fall back with a loud thud. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I go upstairs, rip off my tie and fall into bed, hoping to get to sleep quickly so I don't have to think or feel anymore. No such luck, of course.

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**Don't come after me with pitchforks! I know this chapter ends on a low but realistically, would you stay if your boyfriend acted like that? I can make excuses for him— he hasn't slept well in days, he didn't eat all day, he's completely stressed out— but really, he was an ass to her. Eric needs a wake up call (or several) before he will understand that he needs help to deal with his past and how it's affecting his present. I love how so many of you care enough about Eric to tell me that he needs professional therapy. That is my goal but right now, he doesn't understand how much he needs it. Another guest reviewer pointed out that a one-sided relationship rarely works, which is absolutely right. Sookie cannot keep giving and giving without eventually burning out on Eric. I don't want that to happen but to get to the point where they both realize that will take a little time (and a bit of angst). So keep reading, I will never drag things out, angst usually gets cleared up in the same or next chapter. No prolonged break-ups or anything.**

**Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear your thoughts—even if you just want to tell me that Eric is an asshole.**

**Also, I want to thank anyone who may have nominated this story for a You Want Blood award. It's nice to be thought of so thank you very much. :D I believe voting is open now if you would like to vote.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hi guys! You're still here? Whew!**

**So, the last chapter incited some pretty passionate reviews! Which is great, I love it! I love differing opinions. Everyone gets something different out of what they read. My author's note at the end of last chapter was my opinion; you can have your own. But please remember that everyone will find significance in different story elements and scenes and everyone might come up with a completely different but no less valid interpretation. Basically, just be polite please. We are all different— seriously, read the reviews if you want to see how differently everyone thinks! :)**

**Now onto the story!**

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SOOKIE

Walking to the T station crying–trying not to sob–alone at night garners a lot of unwanted attention. Everyone I pass either watches me as I walk towards them and then turns to watch me walk away, or stops me to ask if I'm alright. As I say for the third time that I am fine, I wish I could just hug the nice looking woman who asks me and sob on her shoulder. I can't wait to be home. I hope someone is still up to let me cry to them.

I never felt so devastated after fighting with Bill. I never loved Bill like I love Eric. Eric, I have never seen him so angry. I have never been scared of him until tonight. Never wondered what he may do– not to me, maybe, except when he stopped me from opening the closet door, but he looked like he wanted to destroy something. And then when I asked him to move away from me, to stop towering over me, he did and he looked, well, just unstable. Angry but sad, and tired–so tired. In that instance I just wanted to hold him, to cradle him and stroke him and whisper against his skin. But he wanted me to go. And I know I wanted to leave when I was uncomfortable but when he looked like that— that tired, that upset, that...broken, I wanted to stay and comfort him. Then he moved back from me when I reached for him. And maybe I should have insisted on staying so we could talk but when he said he wanted to go to bed and he would call me tomorrow like it was nothing that we had plans to sleep together, I just got mad. I was mean to him. I know that. I should not have told him he needed to get himself together before he texted me. I should have just left nicely but it hurt that he didn't want to sleep with me, when he told me that he sleeps so much better when I'm there. I have missed him all week and was looking forward to lying next to him in bed, to wrapping my arms around him and feeling his body close to mine. I miss the warmth of him, the smell of him, the sound of him breathing.

My stop.

I look up and everybody around me looks quickly away from me. That's when I realize tears are streaming down my face. I had managed to stop crying before I boarded my train but in my reflection of the night, my tears unknowingly started again. Damn it. I must look like a freak. My face heats up and I give my onlookers a small smile as I vacate my seat.

"Amelia!" I call out as soon as I reach my suite.

"Sookie?" she says, coming out of her room, "I thought you were–what's wrong, sweetie?"

"Amelia," I blubber, throwing my arms around her and burying my face in her shoulder, finally letting myself sob.

"Sookie, what happened? Are you okay?" she says, hugging me back. She walks me toward her room and sits us on her bed. I'm still attached to her side.

"Eric...we had a...fight!" I say between sobs.

"Oh, sweetie!"

"He wanted...me to...leave!" I say, drawing out the syllable in my last word until it sounds like a wail.

"Oh no! Why?"

"He was...I don't know... just so upset," I choke out.

"Do you want some water? Soda?...Vodka?" she says, which makes me smile a little.

"Is there any sweet tea left?" I say, feeling slightly better, but if they drank all my tea, I will sob again, I know I will.

"Let me see. If it's gone, I'm bringing you vodka."

She brings me a big glass of tea and I sip it and sigh. This little taste of home makes me feel a little better.

"Tell me what happened?" Amelia asks.

"We had a fight and he got really angry and started yelling at me and I said I was leaving and then he told me maybe I should. But I just wanted to leave because he was scary and then he looked so sad that I wanted to help him feel better but he said he had a bad day and wanted to go to bed. But he was supposed to go to bed with me," I say, starting to cry again. I know I'm rambling and I know I sound pathetic but I just miss him. I haven't been in his bed since Tuesday and that was just for an hour. It was such a busy week I just wanted to snuggle up to him, kiss his chest, and fall asleep listening to his heartbeat. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to the sex I thought we'd be having right now.

"Sookie, were you scared that he would hurt you? Because, if so, I'm glad you left!"

"No, no, I don't really think he would hurt me...well, maybe I did at the time. He came up behind me when I said I wanted to leave and he blocked me in, next to the wall. He was just so angry. But I don't realistically think he would really hurt me even though he did make me nervous. He moved away as soon as I asked him to. Amelia, he's not a bad guy, please don't be mad at him. I don't know what happened to him today but he came home all out of sorts and I shouldn't have believed he was just tired like he said. I don't know why he doesn't tell me things, though. That's the biggest problem. He could have told me he had a shitty day and that he just wanted to go to bed and I would have gone with him and held him and made him feel better. He could have told me...well, he just could have told me a lot more than he did." Amelia doesn't know anything about Eric being harassed and I don't think he would want her to.

"So, what are you going to do? Fighting is pretty normal. Are you guys going to be okay?"

"Oh, yes! I told him that I'd be busy all day tomorrow but the truth is, I would call him right now if I thought he was awake. But he said he was going to bed. He seemed so, I don't know, unsettled. But he didn't tell me why, Amelia. I feel like he never tells me anything. I have to pull everything out of him. I have to fight for every piece of him."

"So stop."

"Stop? But he's hurting and he needs to talk."

"Sookie, it's not your job to fix him. If he doesn't want to talk, then maybe you should just leave him alone."

"But this whole thing tonight was because he didn't talk to me. How can I help him if I just leave him alone?"

"I don't know. But there is only so much you can do. You're not a therapist, he's your boyfriend not your project."

"Amelia, that's not really fair. I love him and I want him to feel better. I can't stand his sadness and the way he gets so down on himself."

"Sookie, just love him then, if you love him. Love him without trying to fix him. Tell him what you need from him and let him tell you what he needs. Maybe he just wants to be able to escape things with you. He doesn't want to think about his past."

"But he's been not thinking about his past for his whole life. It's causing problems for him and now for us. How can I just...how am I supposed to ignore that? I know what good talking did for me. I know I am so much better off because of the help I got. I just want the same for him."

"I know, Sookie. You want to help everyone you see who needs help. But maybe he doesn't want help. Maybe he's not ready for help right now. Did you ask him if he wants your help? Did you tell him that you think he needs to talk things out."

"No," I sigh. "I yelled at him to sit down and listen to me."

"You did?" She looks surprised because that's not usually my style. "And did you help him?"

"I don't know. Maybe a little." _Did_ I help him? Does he believe he's a good father now? I don't really know. What I do know is that he started having nightmares about his father right after that. Is that because I pushed him? Shit.

"Well, you don't have to take my advice but I think you should back off and just let him be. Love him through whatever he needs to be loved through but don't try to fix him. It's up to you, though Sookie. You also don't want to be fighting because he doesn't tell you things. I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"Thanks, Amelia. I hope so."

"Hey no problem. What are friends for? But we should get to bed so we can get our spa on tomorrow! Girl, we are going to have the best time on your boyfriend's dime! Ooh! I'm a poet!" she says laughing and for some reason that is the funniest thing I've ever heard. I start laughing like a lunatic and fall back on her bed.

"Did I mess up and put actual Vodka in your glass? Get up you weirdo. Get ready for bed and don't think about Eric. Just think of all the fun we're going to have tomorrow! Spa morning and bar hopping night! Woo hoo! I can't wait!"

I return to my room, still chuckling and quickly get myself ready for bed. As I climb into my cold bed that does not contain a warm, mostly naked Swedish god, I feel sad for a minute but being emotionally overloaded wore me out and sleep quickly takes me.

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ERIC

As I look at my clock for the hundredth time and see that it's only been twenty minutes and it's now only two o'clock in the morning, I sigh and hit my pillow and turn over...again. I can't sleep. If Sookie was here, I'd be spooned up against her soft skin with my face in her hair, happily oblivious to the ache in my chest and the emptiness in my stomach. Emptiness because I haven't eaten but also because the light feeling that Sookie always gives me is gone. The happiness I always feel thinking about how much she loves me is gone. The peace I feel in her presence is gone. Replaced by a vacuous feeling of despair, a feeling like I can't describe—_empty_.

I should have pulled her upstairs and into my bed. I should have held her and kissed her and apologized. I should have told her I love her. I should have at least told her I love her. I feel the sting of tears in my eyes and I hold them back. I will not cry and feel sorry for myself. I will not wallow in self pity about a situation I created. But the ache, my heart aches, each breath is a struggle against the tightness in my chest. I will myself to relax, to let go and drift to sleep but sleep doesn't come.

I give up trying and go downstairs to force something into my stomach. Maybe food will help the emptiness I feel. After a ham sandwich, I do feel marginally better but nowhere near happy. Maybe letting myself feel was a bad choice. Maybe I should have remained closed off. It was boring before Sookie, but it also didn't hurt so much. Now that she doesn't work for me anymore, I am free to never see her again. The hurt that rips through my body at the thought of letting her go nearly brings me to my knees and I stop walking to steady myself on the stairs. I can't let her go. I won't, even though she would be lucky if I did. But I have to fix this mess. Ultimately I told her to leave. I thought I would be better without her here. I thought I could put myself right without her help. But I find that I can't. Because whatever was wrong with me before has now increased tenfold and along with the feeling that my life is spinning out of control, I now feel like my heart is being squeezed in my chest and my room does not contain enough oxygen to breathe.

In my bedroom once more, I finish undressing and strip off my pants and underwear. I ripped off my shirt at some point earlier and I find it ruined on the floor. Maybe a shower will help me relax.

It doesn't.

It makes me think of Sookie. The last time I was inside her was in the shower. My dick remembers too and I'm hard before I can force myself to calm down. Goddamn it! I can't do this right now. I wash quickly and dry myself but my dick will not listen to me and it stays hard even when I cover it with boxers and pajama bottoms. Traitor.

Six o'clock. I managed to sleep for a few hours but at six o'clock, I decide to just get up. I walk to my office and pull up an internet search of the area around the spa Sookie will be at in a few hours. She was supposed to leave from here after having snuggled me all night. She was supposed to leave from here, happy and satisfied, with my kiss on her lips. Right now I just hope there is a way to make her think of me even when I will not be there.

Yes! A bakery down the street. I call them, hoping they will answer even though they don't open for another hour. When a woman picks up with an obvious French accent, I use my somewhat limited French to beg for her help in my plan. Thankfully she agrees, she can sense my desperation or maybe she likes my accent. It's probably my money. Anyway, she will do what I ask and that's all that matters.

I search out another store that I need and they are easy to convince, the woman sighing and telling me I'm such a good boyfriend. Sure. If I was, I wouldn't be currently cleaning up the mess I made.

That done, I go down to make some much needed coffee. I am so fucking tired. I will have to nap when Annika does today. I don't want to be tired when I meet Sookie tonight. Assuming she still wants me to go meet her friends. God, I hope so. I have Haley coming around ten so I can go to the bar and see Sookie.

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SOOKIE

I wake up at eight and for a second I feel happy before the reality of why I'm waking up in my own bed, comes crashing down on me. I have no Eric beside me. I miss his sweet morning smile, sleepy and slow, it spreads across his face like a sunrise when he sees me. But not today. This morning I am alone even though I'm meant to be with him. I should be taking my shower with him instead of by myself. I should be washing his skin, not my own. It should be him who encourages me to eat something and not Amelia.

"I'm just not hungry," I say. My stomach still hurts and food is the last thing I need.

"You need to eat something," she says, "You'll feel better."

"I need Eric," I object. "He makes me feel better."

Amelia gives me a hug and grabs an apple for me before we head to the spa. Hopefully a massage will lift my spirits. Amelia and I are getting mani/pedis and massages—Swedish, of course.

"Miss Stackhouse? These are for you," the woman behind the counter says, holding out a bright bouquet of flowers in gorgeous shades of blue. My favorite combination of colors and I know just who knows that. I read the card:_ I love you. Always. E._ Before I can melt into the floor, the lady hands Amelia a bouquet with a beautiful arrangement of colors.

"What does your card say?" I ask her.

"Happy birthday. I look forward to meeting you. Enjoy your day and please keep my girl happy. I'm afraid I made her sad. Eric," she reads. "Oh my god, Sookie! He is so sweet!"

I can't keep the tears at bay and they fall down my face. The lady who checked us in, Cecelia, brings me some tissues and I blubber my thanks and apologize for weeping in her spa.

"Oh, don't worry about it," she says, rubbing my back. "But keep the tissues, because that's not all that he sent for you."

"What?" I gasp as she goes to get something and comes out with a big tray of pastries and sets in on the counter along with two hot chocolates, which she hands to me and Amelia.

"Here's the note that came by courier with the food," she says, handing me an envelope. It's his handwriting, which means he went to a lot of trouble to get this note here right as the spa opened.

_Sookie,_

_Food does not fill the emptiness I feel without you and I find it hard to be hungry when all I want to do is taste your lips. But please enjoy these pastries. They are sweet and when you eat them, imagine my lips on yours. I will imagine you eating them and drinking the chocolate, while trying not to make the noises that make me hard. (Are you blushing? Good.) I love you, Sookie, and I'm sorry I asked you to leave. I barely slept without you. Please call me when you are done at the spa._

_Yours,_

_E._

She was right, more tears spill over my cheeks as I put the note away and tuck it into my purse.

"You're a lucky woman," says Cecelia. "Our note says to let you pick your favorite pastries and then let the staff here have the rest. He has good taste! It's from the bakery down the road. The Best of Boston every year for almost a decade!"

"I _am_ lucky," I say with renewed tears.

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ERIC

"Sookie?" I say, out of breath. I ran for the phone, knowing it must be her.

"Eric? Are you okay?"

"I am now. I miss you. Did you get what I sent? Did you have a good time at the spa? Did you eat the pastries? I miss your face, angel. It feels like forever since I've seen you."

"Now who's rambling?" she says, laughing slightly. I am. I know I am. The sound of her voice is doing something to me and if I don't keep talking I will break down crying. "Thank you so much for the gifts, honey. I love the flowers and the food was really good. So was your note."

"Do you forgive me, Sookie? Please tell me that you do." I'm glad she liked what I had sent but I need her to tell me she forgives me.

"Of course, Eric..."

Relief. Cool, soft, easy.

"Eric? Do you forgive me?" she says, sounding a bit frantic, like she might have already asked me once.

"Oh, Sookie. Yes! I can't wait to see you. Do you still want me to meet you tonight?"

"I do...if you still want to come. Amelia wants to thank you and I can't wait to see you either. I love you so much. I don't want to fight with you."

"Me either. I love you. I will meet you around 10:30, okay? I know you're busy today so I'll let you go. Text me if you have a minute."

"Okay, Eric. I'll see you tonight."

We say goodbye and I hang up feeling so much better. My heart can beat unrestricted and my lungs can breathe. The room is full of oxygen again. "She loves me, Anni!" I say, picking her back up. "Let's eat lunch, princess!" Annika grins at me as I put her in her high chair. I am suddenly famished.

As I arrive at the bar after tucking Annika into bed and telling Haley that am happy she could help me out, I look around for Sookie and her group of friends but I don't see them. There is a live band playing and it's pretty loud so I find a small table near the back to wait for Sookie.

And then there she is. Laughing and talking cheerfully with her friends. She is stunning in a tight black dress with those knee high boots I love. She takes my breath away and I know that's cliché but in this case, it's true. I literally have to remind myself to breathe after I've been staring at her for too long.

I stand up to go to her and some man she walked in with pulls her into his body and with his knee between her legs, starts to grind his body all over hers. Fuck. The feelings this sight wells up in me are strong. Almost too strong to tamp down but I manage to. Tonight will be fun. I will not kill anyone. No matter if they are grinding their dick all over my girl.

_It's just dancing, calm down. Calm down, calm down_ is the mantra running through my head as I approach Sookie and the man with his hands on her hips and his dick on her thigh. Clothed, but still.

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SOOKIE

Eric.

He stands looking at me, his chest moving up and down with his forceful breaths. His eyes are unreadable. I can't tell what he's thinking. He could be angry that I'm dancing with another man. He could be overwhelmed with emotion. He could be choked up by the sight of my face, his heart beating wildly, tears threatening to spill. Oh—that's me.

He stands looking at me for another second and then he holds his hand out for mine. How can I resist that? I can't and I place my hand in his and look up into his eyes. Eyes so filled with love I find myself unable to do anything but stare back at them. Eyes so lost and desperate, that I follow their owner without thought as he pulls me along with him.

He's walking quickly, obviously having scoped this place out before I got here. He heads towards the back. To the bathroom? But we're inside, door locked, and his lips are all over me before I can ask. He starts with my neck, and his lips tickle because he hasn't stopped telling me he loves me and he's sorry. As he whispers, his lips trace over my skin, giving me goosebumps.

"Tell me, Sookie. I need to hear it," he murmurs, looking suddenly into my eyes. His eyes are shining, hopeful yet troubled.

"I love you, Eric. I'm so sorry. I love you," I say and then his lips come crashing into mine.

He pours all his desperation into this kiss. It's frantic and fierce, unrelenting. His hands grip my neck and my shoulder tightly, as if he's afraid I will try to get away. But I want this. I want him. So urgently, so deeply that he is like my air and if he lets me go, I will suffocate and drown. I am so lost in his lips that I don't register that the hand creeping down my belly and over my hips, has creeped under my dress. I gasp and he plunges his tongue into my mouth and his fingers into my panties. He murmurs in Swedish, his lips brushing mine with each foreign syllable that he utters.

"English," I manage to say. His fingers feel so good and I know I'm not going to last long.

"I want you," he whispers as he pushes a finger further down and inside me.

"Oh, god. Eric," I moan. He pulls back from my mouth and looks at me with dark, intense eyes.

"Say my name like that again. Cum for me," he orders, rocking his hand against me faster and harder.

His look, his hand, his command—I am powerless against them and I shudder violently with an orgasm that rips through me suddenly and savagely. "Eric!" I gasp. My knees give out but he is there, with his arm around me, and he pulls me to his chest and strokes me gently through the aftershocks that shake my body.

When I'm stable enough to stand on my own, he lets me go and steps back from me. I look at him standing before me. Dark jeans bulging with his excitement, dark shirt clinging to his muscled chest, dark eyes intense with wanting. He is wickedly beautiful and I can't wait to get him home.

He grins at me, watching me look him over like a piece of meat, and sucks his fingers into his mouth.

"You always do that," I say squirming. It's kind of gross but the way he enjoys it is incredibly seductive.

"You taste good," he says, popping his fingers out of his mouth. He smirks at my embarrassment.

"Wash your hands," I say, smiling at him. I love how unashamed he is in his pleasure.

"In a minute," he says, licking his palm slowly. It makes me tingle even though I just had a fantastic orgasm. He brings his hand down and raises an eyebrow at me. "You're insatiable," he teases, "You want more already?"

"You can tell? I mean, no. Wash your hands, everyone is going to wonder what we're doing."

"Oh, they know what we're doing," he says, coming towards me. "And if they don't know now, when they see your swollen lips," he says, brushing his thumb across my mouth, "And your pretty pink cheeks," he kisses both, "And your satisfied expression," he smirks proudly, "They will absolutely know. And they will know that I did this to you."

"Eric!"

"Yes?" He's finally washing his hands so we can leave but now I don't ever want to show my face again.

"Did you just stake your claim on me?"

"That was not my intention when I pulled you into the bathroom but yes, you are mine Sookie, and now you smell like me and everyone will see that I keep you happy. You will remember who makes you feel so good while you're out partying with other men, yes?"

"Ah! You are such a caveman sometimes," I say, but I can't say it doesn't make me giddy being claimed by him, knowing he's jealous even though he has no need to be. "You shouldn't worry about him, Eric. Or anyone else, for that matter."

"I'm not worried, Sookie. You can dance with whoever you want. You will come home to me. Take my key and have them drop you off at my house when your party ends," he says, holding out a shiny new key on a keychain in the shape of the sun.

"Oh, Eric! You're giving me a key to your house?" I squeal.

"Yes. Please use it whenever you want. Please use it tonight. I don't care what time it is, just come home to me, Sookie. Please."

I throw my arms around him and he picks me up and kisses my forehead. "Thank you, Eric!" I say, kissing his chin. He dips his face and licks my top lip. He lowers me to the ground as he slants his head to deepen the kiss. After a few seconds, he pulls back and smiles.

"We should get back. I want to meet your friends," he says.

I know we have a lot to talk about but that can wait. Right now, I plan to have a whole lot of fun with my boyfriend and my friends. I will worry about everything else tomorrow.

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**So? Okay? Do you like everybody now? Tell me what you think. Is one of them still on your bad side? Tell me who. They are both learning how to be in a healthy relationship. Neither one has had that before so they will both mess up at times.**

**What do you think of Sookie's convo with Amelia? Did she give her good advice? Should Sookie leave him be? Or is she supposed to help him as much as she can because she loves him and doesn't want him to be in pain? Should she let him just forget when he's with her or should she fight to uncover him?**

**Did you like what Eric did for her or do you think he did not owe her anything and had nothing to fix?**

**Let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!**


	30. Chapter 30

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ERIC

She does smell like me, but just in case, before we leave the bathroom to meet her friends I pull her back into my arms and rub my neck on hers. She can dance with whoever she wants, but the man so close to her will smell me. She makes a small huff noise but lets me rub myself on her, so I press my whole body to hers, inhaling deeply of our mingled scents. Fucking heaven.

We walk out and she grabs my hand, leading me to the table where her friends are. Most of them are standing because there are only a couple tall stools around a pretty tiny table. There must be seven or eight of her friends standing around the table. When we come closer, they all clap, incited by the man she was dancing with. That fucker. Sookie is completely mortified and she turns a bright shade of red and pushes her face into my arm, squeezing it tightly.

"No need to be embarrassed, honey. If this tall blonde gorgeous specimen of man wanted to drag me off into a dark corner, I'd run after him like a little lamb," says...the man she was dancing with. Huh.

"Eric, this is Steve Newlin," says Sookie. "And his boyfriend, Russ Edgington." She smiles at me while my anger at this guy completely dissipates.

Steve winks at me. "Sorry if you thought I was stealing your girl. I'd rather steal you," he says and I can feel myself blushing. It's not that I've never been hit on by another guy before. It's happened a few times but never so blatantly.

At the same time that Russ slugs Steve in the shoulder, Sookie stands in front of me and reaches back, grabbing my hips and pulling me into her body.

"I'm afraid you'd have to fight me for him," she says, "And I'd kick your scrawny ass!" She laughs and I get hard, both because of my dick's proximity to her ass and because of her strong, although playful words. I know she feels my erection because she pushes back against me and moves her hips slightly and it's all I can do to keep my eyes from rolling back and my mouth from opening in a moan.

"Steve lives in my suite. He just got back today and he's a little excited to see everyone," she says laughing. It's nice to see her so happy. I come around from behind Sookie and shake the guys' hands. "Let me introduce everyone else. This is Amelia Carmichael and her girlfriend Tracy Dawson," she says gesturing to two cute girls standing one behind the other.

"Nice to meet you both," I say, flashing them a smile. "Happy Birthday, Amelia. Thanks for keeping my girl happy." I wink and she smiles at me, shaking my outstretched hand.

"Thanks so much for the spa morning and the flowers and the food!" she says and I nod.

"This is my suitemate, John Quinn and my other suitemate, Crystal Norris." Ah yes, the freeloading fucker who expects Sookie to cook for him and the girl who spreads everyone's shit all over campus. I wonder what kind of gossip she'll have to talk about tonight. I exchange polite hellos with them and Sookie introduces a couple other friends, who I also greet.

"Can I get you a drink?" I ask Sookie. All of her friends already have theirs, no doubt procuring them while we were in the bathroom.

"Sure, thanks!" she says, "I'll have a GnT." She says it like a bartender would, just the initials and I find I'm liking this side of Sookie. She is bubbly and smiley, laughing so much—just so happy and playful. Of course, the alcohol I could taste on her probably has something to do with it, but she's definitely nowhere close to drunk. I wonder how often she goes out with friends. I'm sure it's a good escape from her studies but I selfishly hope that she would rather spend most of that time with me from now on. I could help her relieve any stress she is under. And there goes my dick again.

As I walk away to get our drinks at the bar, I feel everyone's eyes on me. I turn back around to see if it's just my imagination but it's not. Most of them look away when caught but a couple stare unashamedly—Crystal and Steve. I actually feel a little uncomfortable. I am no longer used to the bar scene. I quit picking up random women several years ago and I realize with a small amount of guilt that it doesn't feel very good to be objectified in this way. It makes me very happy to have Sookie so I don't have to worry about that anymore.

When I get back to Sookie with our drinks, she thanks me and kisses me briefly and I again smell alcohol on her breath and wonder how much she usually drinks when she's out. I hope she has responsible friends to help keep her safe. This is only one stop on their bar hopping agenda and I worry for her. I can't help it. But she got along well for this long without me, so I will let her have her fun without burdening her with my concerns.

Sookie's friends are mostly pretty great. They are good at making me feel included even though I have no clue what or who they are talking about a lot. They are quite the eclectic group. A mix of people who live in Sookie's suite with her—they seem the most friendly—and some other random friends. They're like a family, the suitemates, which makes sense since they share a bathroom and kitchen/living area like Sookie says. They pretty much live in an apartment in a dorm. They all seem to get along well, except for Crystal, who seems a little stuck up and a lot bitchy.

I end up standing between Sookie and Crystal, who finds every opportunity to brush up against me. Even when I keep inching closer and closer to Sookie.

"What is your problem?" I hiss, leaning my head toward Crystal to be discreet. She just gives me doe eyes and a tiny pout. Ick. I hate girls like this. I am obviously with Sookie, who if I'm honest, is a thousand times more attractive than Crystal. No one is paying much attention to us, which Crystal is taking advantage of as she pushes her breasts into my arm. Goddamn it!

Sookie gives me a funny look when I jerk back and accidentally push her shoulder, nearly making her knock her drink over.

"Sorry," I say. "I'm going to the restroom, be right back."

I don't have to go. I've barely drank my beer, but I need to move away from Crystal and I figure I can come back and stand on the other side of Sookie instead. Which is just what I do. If Sookie thinks it's weird that I moved, she doesn't let on. In fact, she seems much more subdued and is barely talking and certainly not laughing. A huge change from the happy person she was before I left briefly. What the hell happened?

I nudge her shoulder but she barely looks at me. An almost imperceptible shake of her head tells me that she doesn't want to talk about whatever is wrong. Did I do something? Did I ruin this evening as well as the last? I'm wracking my brain trying to think of what asshole thing I could have inadvertently done but I can't come up with anything.

"I'm just going to check on my daughter," I tell whoever may be listening, "Come with me?" I ask Sookie.

I grab her hand and tug before she can disagree and she comes along with me to the sidewalk outside the bar.

"I'm sure Anni is fine, Eric. She's asleep." I noticed a little while ago that she started calling her Anni and it makes my heart soar every time I hear her call my baby by the nickname I do.

That's not why I brought her outside and I stand in front of her so I can see her face while we talk.

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SOOKIE

As soon as Eric walks away to use the bathroom Crystal sidles up next to me. Crystal is okay in small doses as long as you don't tell her anything you don't want the rest of the dorm to know. She's what I call a two-faced bitch. She thinks she's nice, I suppose, but she is as snobby as they come and her favorite thing to do is judge everyone for everything and gossip all about it. So, I guess I am just waiting to see what she has to say about Eric. I can't imagine she could say anything about his appearance. He's almost flawless, and he has been a perfect gentleman. Well, except for the dragging me off for a bathroom quickie, I suppose.

"He's gorgeous Sookie. How long have you been with him?" she asks and I am pleasantly surprised because so far, she is being nice.

"Only about a month, thanks. I think he's pretty incredible myself."

She smiles at me, a wan fake smile. "Aw, new love," she says, "I suppose he hasn't had time to get bored with you yet."

It's loud in the bar so when she talks to me she has to put her face close to my ear which means nobody else can hear what she's saying and I can't see the expression on her face. Hoping that she is just trying to make an extremely unfunny joke, I pull back and look at her face. There is no trace of playfulness. She still has the fucking fake ass smile on. What the fuck is her problem?

"What are you talking about?" I say, when I've recovered my voice.

"Oh c'mon, Sookie. Bill had to find women on the side to satisfy himself and he is nowhere near the sex god that this one is. Do you really think you can keep Eric satisfied? Look at him. He could have anyone he wants, male or female," she says, looking over towards Steve.

Her words hurt. They cut deeply in a place that has always been a worry for me. When I first found out about Bill cheating on me, I was angry as hell, but then I started to wonder what it says about me that my boyfriend was running around with so many other women. I was completely inexperienced when it came to sex and Bill was the one who taught me how to please him. I thought I was doing a good job but maybe I was wrong. Am I keeping Eric satisfied? I thought so but Crystal's words have the desired effect—they make me doubt myself. I have no doubt in Eric's ability to be faithful but what if he is unsatisfied in bed?

By the time I have thought through Crystal's words, Eric is back and I notice he stands on the other side of me, though I don't really care right now.

Conversations flow around me, people laugh, Eric talks, and I am still thinking about Crystal's words. Eric bumps me and gives me a 'what's up?' look but I shake my head because I can't get into it right now.

He makes some excuse about calling home and for the second time tonight he pulls me along behind him. Once I'm standing against the outside wall of the bar, I tell him, maybe a little shortly, that his daughter is fine. I am suddenly in the worst mood and I really don't want to take it out on him.

"I know," he says, tracing my cheek with the back of his index finger and tucking my hair back, "Did I do something, Sookie? I'm trying to think of what I did. Was it the bathroom? Are you embarrassed?" I hate that he automatically thinks he did something wrong and any irritation I am feeling towards him vanishes.

"No, baby, you didn't do anything." Tension that I couldn't even see leaves his body and he looks ten times more relaxed, even though he looked fine before.

"Then what's wrong?" he says, putting his hand on my shoulder and rubbing my neck soothingly with his thumb. "You look beautiful. Did I tell you that? You took my breath away when you walked in. These boots are my favorite." He puts his knee between my thighs and rubs his leg up and down the leather. I look down and can see that he's getting a little too excited for this public place. He's in a good mood and I don't want to ruin his first night out in months with my stupid insecurities. Besides, if I told him what Crystal said, I know he'd get angry and say something rude to her. Not that she doesn't deserve it but I don't want to make a scene.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I smile, toying with the straining top button on his tight black shirt. "But it looks like you need a minute before we go back in," I say with a wink. When in doubt, distract with sex.

"Sookie, you did a complete 180 in there. You're okay?" Of course, he's not distracted.

"Eric, can we talk about it later? I just want to have fun with my boyfriend tonight."

He grins. "Okay, but he's inside and if I remember correctly, he likes me better than you."

I laugh and hug his waist. He's good at cheering me up. "Let's go in. Do you dance?" I ask, as we walk back.

"Honey, I can tear it up!" he says channeling his best diva and tossing me a smile over his shoulder.

And he can. He dances like he fucks—with skilled command and smoldering passion. I can't say I'm surprised because he's all legs and boy does he put them to good use. I like to think that I'm a good dancer. I've been doing it since I was a child and I've always loved it. The two of us fit together like Johnny Castle and Baby and we are dancing just as dirty. He's going to need to ice himself down when he goes home because he's been hard the entire time his body has been so close to mine. I don't even see how he could possibly be comfortable in his jeans with the size of his erection.

"Calm down, cowboy, and come get a drink with me," I say, running my hand down his sweaty neck. Eric, sweaty and out of breath, with bulging pants is a completely irresistible sight. I want to lick all the sweat from his body and then make him sweat some more, preferably on top of me.

We order at the bar; he gets a coke and I get water. I've got to pace myself. We still have two more bars and a club to go to tonight. I don't want to be puking at the end of the night so I have one drink and then only water at each bar. Eric raises his eyebrow at my drink choice.

"I'm going to lick that eyebrow one day," I say and he gives me a look like I'm a weirdo and laughs.

"Good, stick with the water. You already sound drunk," he laughs.

"Hey Sook," says Tracy, coming up behind me. "You ready to go to the next bar?"

"Oh, already?"

"Yeah, everyone is ready to go. You two are smoking hot on the dance floor. I mean, shit, nobody in this bar could keep their eyes off of you. You totally enthralled the masses!"

"Ha, it had to be this tall beauty over here," I say, tilting my head toward Eric.

"Are you kidding, you are the sexiest thing in this place," he says in my ear and his hot breath spreads heat through my body.

I smile at him and ask if he'll come to the next bar with us because I haven't had enough of him.

"Okay, but let me call Haley and see when she wants me home."

He goes outside to call while everyone gathers to make sure we all know where to meet next.

"He get bored already?" says Crystal, who has come to stand at my side.

"Fuck you," is my eloquent reply. I move from her before I punch her in her bitchy mouth. Jason taught me to defend myself but she will not ruin my night.

Once we are outside, we hail two cabs and say goodbye to the few people who won't be continuing on with us. Eric comes over and says Haley is happy to stay until whenever but he thinks he should go home in an hour or so. Good, I get another hour with my super hot boyfriend.

We somehow manage to share a cab with crystal and she somehow manages to sit next to Eric. Everyone was climbing in at once and I was left to sit in the front seat.

"Do you want me to switch with you, Sookie?" says Eric from his seat in the back.

"No, it's a short drive, it's okay." I don't want to sit next to Crystal anyway.

As I'm telling the cab driver where we are going, Eric growls loudly, "What the fuck is your problem? You can't take a hint? Get the fuck off of me!"

Silence.

From the driver and from all the passengers. Eric shifts away from Crystal as far as he can and looks out the window for the rest of the short drive. I wish I was back there to soothe him, he looks really agitated.

As soon as we get out of the car, I pull Eric to the side. We start to speak at the same time.

"What happened?" I say.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"Tell me what happened. I don't think it's you who should be apologizing."

"She won't stop touching me. I lost my temper but I'm just so fucking sick of this shit. I'm sorry, Sookie. Did I ruin your night?"

"Of course not! But I'm going to kick that bitch's ass!"

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ERIC

Somehow I end up sitting in the cab next to the irritating girl who can't keep her hands to herself. Just what I fucking need. She's bold, I'll give her that. But she's also annoying as fuck. I am just waiting for her to squeeze up against me or something but when she runs her fingers from my knee to my groin, I flash back to Victoria Madden and get so angry that my words of censure are much harsher than I mean for them to be.

Sookie turns around to look at me and the rest of the ride is made in total silence. Fuck.

But as worried as I was about Sookie's reaction, she surprises me by not being mad at me at all. She's about to kill Crystal, though.

"Hey, John told us what happened and Amelia told Crystal to go home," says Tracy, coming up to us. "Nobody wanted her here anyway. She's such a jerk. She seriously has no clue how to be appropriate. Sorry, Eric. Crystal cheats on all her boyfriends so she assumes everyone else is down with it too."

Oh, okay. Nobody thinks I'm the jerk here. That's...refreshing. "No problem. It's not your fault," I say, flashing her a smile. I grab Sookie's hand so we can go inside. I want to make the most of my forty-five minutes. Hopefully there's dancing here. Sookie's body moves like sin itself. I could barely contain myself. I wanted to just grind on her until I came, in my pants and everything.

We pass John Quinn on our way inside. I nod my thanks at him and he nods back. Maybe he's not so bad.

This next bar has no live band and no dancing. But there's pool.

"Who wants to play pool?" asks John, and Sookie jumps up happily. She turns to ask if I will play and I smile and agree. Sookie bent over a pool table could be very good for my dick but not so good for my game.

We play two on two and Sookie ends up on John's team while Amelia is with me. I'm not sure how it happened that way.

Sookie starts and when she breaks well and sinks two solids, Quinn's celebratory, "Babe!" does not further enamor him to me. He hugs her and I consciously keep myself in my tiny bar seat so I don't kick his beefed up ass. And who the fuck shaves their head at his age? Pretentious mother fucker.

"Quinn, what's your major?" I ask, when he sits down next to me so Amelia can take her turn. I wonder if MIT has a wrestling major.

"Urban Planning," he grunts, glancing quickly at me.

"Urban Planning? Like planning out cities and stuff?" Hmm, okay, he may be different than I thought.

"Designing greener cities with better public services to help solve social problems. I just want to help people," he says, looking at me fully now. Well, shit. And what the fuck color are his eyes?

"Hey man, that's great," I say.

Quinn gets up to take his turn and sinks another two solids. Amelia didn't get anything in and I now know why Quinn wanted Sookie on his team.

It's my turn to play and Sookie runs her hand over my ass as I lean over the table. "Cheater," I say and she laughs and sits down. I sink two balls and then it's her turn again. I watch Quinn as he watches her ass and I just try not to get mad because I know she's mine and Quinn seems like a good enough guy. Besides, her ass is spectacular. Even Amelia is looking at it. And suddenly I get unbidden images of Sookie with Amelia and Tracy in bed. Holy fuck. Not what I need right now. Sookie comes over to stand between my legs while we wait for our turns. She glances down at my lap and then to my face with raised eyebrows.

I smile and kiss her cheek. "Later," I whisper in her ear.

The game doesn't take long to finish and then we find a table and order some fries and nachos because the kitchen is about to close. I order another beer, my second here, third of the night. Sookie orders water since she already had a rum and coke while we played pool. She's smart. I don't think I need to worry about her. It's pretty much time for me to go and surprisingly, I don't want to. I haven't been out in so long and I am enjoying it much more than I thought I would.

"Sorry we kicked your ass at pool," says Quinn when I shake his hand to say goodbye.

"Yeah, well, you had my girl on your team. Sookie is good at everything she does."

"She is," he says and I stop myself from growling at him because of the way he said it. "I'll watch out for her since you're leaving."

Yeah. "I'm sure Sookie can take care of herself, but thanks." That sounded much more polite than I'm currently feeling.

I say goodbye to everyone else, and Steve, who has been casting glances at me all night, actually gets up to hug me. "I'll see you, man. Don't let anyone else dance with Sookie the way you were," I say loudly, grinning broadly. Sookie narrows her eyes at me like I knew she would. "I'm kidding, Sookie. Have fun everyone!"

Sookie walks me out and we kiss on the street which earns us some catcalls and whistles from passersby. I reluctantly get into a cab after reminding her to come over after clubbing no matter what time it is.

Once I'm home, I escort Haley into the cab I vacated after she tells me everything was fine and Annika just slept the whole time which is what I was expecting. I thank her profusely and she cups my cheek and tells me she's glad I had fun because I needed it. I have the urge to hug her like I would my mother but I don't because I don't know how she'd take that.

Once I lock up and shut out the lights, I take a quick peak at my sleeping princess and then shower and crawl into bed.

At some point I am woken up by my name being shouted from downstairs. Only it's not Sookie who is calling to me so I rush quickly down the stairs to find Steve and Amelia holding up a very green looking drunk Sookie between them.

"Can you take care of her Eric? She is pretty much incoherent and I'm pretty sure she's about to puke her guts out. The only reason she is here is because she kept mumbling your name and I know where you live from when I dropped her clothes off that one time."

"Amelia, what happened?" I ask, trying to ignore the fact that Steve is openly gaping at me because I'm wearing underwear and nothing else. Hey, I was asleep and did not expect company other than Sookie.

"She ran into Bill."

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**I know they have a lot to talk about but I wanted to give them a night of fun and introduce Eric to Sookie's group of friends. They will have a heart to heart soon—they have much to discuss!**

**Also, sorry to leave you here and even sorrier to tell you that I will be going on vacation this weekend so you probably won't get another chapter for two weeks or so. Unless I can crank one out by Friday night but it's not likely.**

**Thanks for reading and alerting and reviewing!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Well, I did it! And it's extra long. You can thank my husband's business retreat for this speedy chapter. :)**

**I wanted to make one thing clear that maybe wasn't: Sookie does not doubt Eric. Not at all. She doubts her own ability to keep a man satisfied. She even thinks, "I have no doubt in Eric's ability to be faithful." I know one of canon Sookie's problems was her inability to trust in Eric's love so believe me, this Sookie trusts in him.**

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ERIC

"What do you mean she ran into Bill? Did he touch her? I'll fucking kill him!"

"Damn, she was right," says Steve and I give him a hard look. His eyes widen and he shuts his mouth.

I look at Amelia. "She told us that you'd be pissed off. He didn't touch her, well, I mean, he asked her to dance and tried to take her hand but she wouldn't let him. I'll let her tell you what happened but he was a royal asshole to her and she handled him extremely well. It wasn't until he went away that she fell apart. I'm sorry I let her drink so much. She told me she was okay but I should have watched her better, Eric. I'm really sorry."

"It's fine. Give her to me, I'll take care of her. Let yourselves out." I go and pick up Sookie and carry her upstairs without another glance back. I'm angry. I don't know who to blame but I am fucking angry. I could blame that fucking asshole Bill for somehow upsetting her. I could blame her friends for not properly looking out for her. I could blame Sookie for letting herself drink until she became an unintelligible lump. I could blame myself for not staying with her and being absent when she needed me. Ultimately it doesn't matter who I blame; it is what it is and I will take care of her because I love her.

"Eric," Sookie slurs as I put her down on my bed. I unzip her dress and struggle to get it over her head. I take off her boots all the while thinking that this is not how I planned for the end of this night to go. As I look at her lying almost naked, except for some tiny black panties and knee high socks, I tell myself not to get excited because this will lead nowhere. I get her a shirt of mine and put it over her head, smoothing it down her body. She opens her eyes and looks at me, smiling.

"Hey stud muffin," she says, every syllable unnaturally drawn out. Stud muffin? Jeez. She reaches for my underwear but I back up.

"You're drunk. I'm going to get you some water and some medicine and then you're going to sleep."

She pouts. Pouts. She is so out of it and it would be cute...except it's not. "You're sexy, Mr. Northman. How about we—"

Her eyes widen and she leans over. Holy fuck, no! She is not going to vomit on my bedroom floor. I quickly gather her up and deposit her next to my toilet, holding her hair as she empties her stomach. When she's done, I get a wet washcloth and wipe her face but leave her next to the toilet in case she's not done.

"Angel," I whisper, though it doesn't seem a fitting pet name right now. I grab a leftover hair band from my long hair days and pull her hair into it. I slide down next to her on the floor and rub her back and as soon as I touch her, she leans forward and wretches yet again. This poor girl. What the fuck did Bill do to her? I will rip his fucking dick off if he hurt her tonight. Fuck, I'll rip his dick off for what he did to her before. Sookie is perfect, which I realize is a funny thing to think about the person currently worshipping the porcelain god in my bathroom at three in the morning. She is nearly perfect, as close as she can be and still be on this earth and I don't understand how anyone could want to hurt her like that.

Sookie lays her head against my chest and we sit here on the floor for a few minutes just in case. "Sorry," she mumbles.

"It's okay, angel. Just let me take care of you." I scoop her tired little body up and lay her in my bed, tucking her under the covers with a kiss to her forehead. "I'll be right back."

I go downstairs to get her some ibuprofen and a glass of water and make her drink it all. I put a trashcan on the floor by the bed and lie down next to her, wrapping one arm around her and stroking her hair until she falls asleep. She's going to be miserable in the morning.

When Anni wakes up at eight, I carefully get up so I don't disturb Sookie. I'm fucking tired but she is much worse off than me so I will let her sleep.

Annika and I eat breakfast and I get her dressed for the day. I'm pretty bored just waiting around the house for Sookie to wake up so we go for a walk even though it's cold. Annika definitely inherited my love of cold weather; she laughs when the wind blows in her face. The brisk walk and frigid air wake me up and I feel good by the time we get back home.

Sookie is still asleep and it's almost time for Annika's nap so I decide to put Anni to sleep and then wake up Sookie with some coffee. I know she doesn't usually drink it but in this case, I think she will.

"Sookie," I say, putting the coffee on the night table. She doesn't move. And she's snoring softly which is completely adorable. God, I love everything about her.

I say her name louder and tap her a little and she opens her eyes and groans.

"Morning sleeping beauty," I say with a smile. "I brought you some coffee."

She looks over at the coffee and sits herself up against the headboard. I hand her the cup and she takes a sip with her eyes closed.

"Thank you," she says with a small smile.

"How do you feel? You had a tough night."

"I pretty much feel like shit. Everything hurts."

I kiss her forehead and smile at her. "Let me get you some more water and ibuprofen. Be right back."

Once she takes the medicine and wakes up a little I ask her what I've been dying to know since last night. "What happened with Bill?"

She sighs and looks down and I sit on the bed against the headboard with her and take her hand. "Did he hurt you?" If he hurt her, I don't realistically know what I'd do but I know I would want to kill him.

"Not physically," she says.

"That doesn't make me feel better."

"I saw him at the club we went to. The last place. I was having such a good time and he had to fucking ruin it. He was drunk and I guess it loosened his tongue. He told me that the only reason he started talking to me and eventually dating me was because of a bet. Could he seduce the hot virginal co-ed? A bet! A fucking bet, Eric! Then he claims he fell in love with me so he didn't want to tell me. I asked him if he loved me before or after he fucked me for the first time. He was silent. Yeah, so I know what that means. And then he had the nerve to ask me to dance! Like I was just going to forgive him because he ended up falling for me. Or so he says. He probably never did love me."

I wince at the way she says he fucked her. She is so hurt and I can't blame her. No wonder she got drunk. Who wouldn't after the revelation that you gave your virginity to an asshole under false pretenses?

"Sookie, he's an asshole. I'm so sorry he hurt you. He didn't deserve you in that way. I should have stayed with you last night, I would have kicked his ass."

"Thanks honey," she says, leaning against my shoulder. "He was like 'Sookeh, I didn't have sex with all those women. Some of them just sucked my dick,' like that's supposed to make me feel better!"

"I'm sorry. That's terrible." Though her imitation of him is pretty funny, I know better than to laugh right now.

"I'm okay."

"Are you?" I can't imagine that she is.

"No," she says as tears slip down her face. She puts her coffee down and buries her face in my arm, hugging it to her chest. I caress her hair like I did last night and just let her cry. This is what makes her feel better, I realized after the last time she did this. I don't have to be afraid for her to cry. She doesn't need me to stop her tears, she just needs me to be here for them. I can do that. I can caress her while she cries and hug and kiss her after. I scoot down the bed with her in my arms and let her snuggle against my chest until she's done crying.

I must have closed my eyes because the next thing I hear is Annika babbling. I open my eyes to see Sookie in my doorway with Anni on her hip. They are smiling at me.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Few hours. You took care of me last night so I wanted to let you sleep. I fed Annika some lunch but do you want to order Chinese and talk over noodles when Anni sleeps later?"

"Sounds like a plan." I know we have a ton of shit to talk about. And it's not going to be easy but I also know it's necessary if we want to have a functioning relationship. I have so much to tell Sookie that I haven't thought of in ages and I'm just hoping that I'll be able to.

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SOOKIE

Eric's embrace makes me feel so much better about everything. It's amazing what just being in his arms does for me. And I think he has gotten better with my tears. I swear the first time I cried in front of him I thought he was going to hyperventilate before he pulled me into his chest. But this time, he just seemed resolved to the fact that I needed to cry. I cried for a while, which didn't make my headache any better, and he hummed to me like he did before and just held me until I stopped sniffling. And he just held me after that too, telling me how I deserved so much better.

So now, when I look at his face and see that he is asleep, I kiss him softly and scoot out from under his arm. He was so sweet to me last night. Holding my hair and rubbing my back and letting me lie on him even though I'm sure I didn't smell too great. I know I interrupted his sleep so I decide to leave him be for a while. I take a quick shower so that when Anni wakes up, I can get to her before Eric hears her. Luckily, I have a change of clothes in one of his drawers. I even have pajamas though I noticed Eric put me in one of his shirts.

Once I'm dressed, I watch Eric sleep for a little bit until Anni wakes up. I get her before she starts crying and she smiles brightly when she sees me. It hits me hard when I pick her up and smell her sweet baby head that my days will no longer be filled with her smiles and sloppy kisses. I imagine I feel a fraction of what moms feel when they go back to work after having a baby. Except, it's the exact opposite for me. She's my work—only she's much more precious to me than just a job. Shoot. I don't want to start crying again so I stop that train of thought and bring Annika downstairs for some lunch. Well, breakfast for me.

"Annika, what would you like to eat? Maybe some pasta? Should I make you some macaroni and cheese? Let's see what Daddy has in the fridge." Eric really took my advice to heart and his fridge is always fully stocked with food. He lets Annika taste almost everything either of us cooks and she has become quite adept at feeding herself. She is getting so big.

"Dada!" she says smiling. She caught that part of what I said.

"Yeah, Dada! He's upstairs sleeping. I'm afraid Sookie had him up for most of the night. And not in the way he likes." I'm sure he was not expecting me to be a drunk mess when he told me to come over. I'll have to make it up to him.

Eric has everything I need to make mac and cheese for Annika and making the béchamel sauce makes me think of the first night Eric and I cooked together when he made a roux for the beef stew. It's been quite a ride since that night. We've had our bumps but so does everyone. I love him so much more than I could have imagined then, and I want him to think of me as his ally and not someone who he needs to keep things from. I royally screwed up the Andre thing by calling him Annika's uncle but if I had any idea that Eric had history with the boy that Victoria Madden is screwing, I would have never ever brought him up.

Annika eats and I decide to join her since I don't feel like making breakfast foods at noon. Besides, I make a mean mac and cheese and the smell of it is making my stomach growl.

Annika and I play while Eric sleeps but when she goes crawling to the stairs for the third time calling for him, I decide that three hours is enough and I'll let her wake him up to play. Eric really needs a baby gate. Annika is getting more insistent in where she wants to go and it's no longer easy to corral her in the living room. He has such an open floor plan that unless he can find a very wide gate, he wont be able to keep her out of anywhere but the upstairs. I'm sure he's up for the challenge, though. That man takes his role as father very seriously. In part, I think, because his own father was such a terrible one. But the other thing about Eric is that he throws himself completely into whatever he's doing. He doesn't half ass anything, including his feelings, which I think is why he tries to bury them. They threaten to overwhelm him with their intensity. When he's ready, he will delve fully in to them, hopefully with someone who can help him sort through them.

Eric wakes up as soon as we are standing in the doorway. It's probably Annika's loud, "Dada!" that does it.

I ask Eric if he wants to order food and talk when Annika goes down for her next nap, which should be soon. He looks determined yet nervous when he agrees to that plan.

"Thanks for taking care of me last night, Eric," I say, plopping Annika onto his chest and sitting next to him.

He picks Annika up and flies her towards his face to kiss her head. She squeals and giggles, making us both laugh.

"You took care of me and Annika when we needed it. I just returned the favor," he says, looking at Annika.

"Eric, you didn't have to sit on the floor with me and rub my back. You were perfect. Thank you," I say, turning his face towards me with a hand under his chin.

"Your welcome," he says, which may be the first time he has said that to me instead of making some excuse as to why he doesn't require my thanks. It's ironic considering how often he thanks me for every little thing I do for him or his daughter.

We continue to hang out in bed with Annika until she lays her head down on Eric's chest, signaling the need for a nap.

"She is such an easy baby."

"I know. I got lucky."

"You know the next one is going to be a pill."

He looks at me for a second before getting out of bed to put Annika to sleep in her room.

"I didn't mean the next baby would be with me," I say when he comes back. I would love to have his babies but I know we are nowhere near ready for that conversation. I also know that he is probably a little or a lot sensitive about this topic considering that the mother of his child abandoned them.

He looks at me again, that same intense but unreadable look on his face. "I know," he says.

"So, do you want to pick what you want and I'll order?" I ask to change the subject to something safer.

"I already know what I want. I always get the same thing. Pam says I'm boring."

"You are far from boring," I say, which gets me a big smile from him.

I go downstairs to place the order and come back to Eric with a wicked smile on my face.

"Why do you look like that?" he says, standing up.

"We have fifteen minutes. Are you up for some fun?"

His eyes widen and then go dark. "I will be."

"Good boy," I say, pushing him back down onto the bed and pulling off his track pants. "I knew you didn't wear underwear with these."

He is about to answer but I lean down and take him into my mouth. He's not quite hard but that just means I can fit more of him in.

"Oh, fuck!" he says, running his fingers through my hair. "I love your mouth."

We have just enough time to wash up before the food is delivered. As I walk downstairs to answer the door, I decide that I will not doubt my ability to satisfy a man in the bedroom despite Crystal's bitchy words. Bill's problem is that he's an asshole, not that I did something wrong for him. And Eric wouldn't cum that hard if I wasn't doing something very right for him.

We decide to eat in the living room so we can sit next to each other on the couch while we talk. We dig into the food and it's silent for about five minutes while we eat.

Eric sighs. This is hard for him. "Where should we start?" he says and I'm glad he understands that we have a lot to talk about.

"Let's start with, I love you and I see us together long term so I don't want you to worry about anything that may be said this afternoon. Everything I say to you is said out of love, okay? Let's try to be open and honest and remember that. I want you Eric and that won't change."

"I know Sookie. I feel the same way. I just don't...I just have a hard time with feelings. And I don't want to say something wrong. Tell me if something I say upsets you because sometimes I can be an asshole," he says with a very uncomfortable look on his face.

"You're not an asshole."

"Sometimes."

"Well, maybe you're right," I say with a wink, which makes us both laugh and diffuses some tension.

"Sookie, I don't want you to go back to school. And I feel like such a selfish prick to think that but it's all I've been thinking about this whole week. I feel like I'm losing you...and it feels fucking awful." This all comes out in one breath like he's been holding it back but he just couldn't anymore. And now he won't look at me, probably because he thinks I will be mad.

"Eric, I feel the exact same way," I say, and he looks up at me. "Do you know how hard it is to think that I will no longer be able to kiss Annika's sweet face whenever I want, or eat dinner with you both every night, or wake up in your bed several times a week—"

"You won't sleep over?" he asks, sounding slightly panicked.

"I will, just not as much."

"Okay."

"I've been thinking about this and my schedule for Tuesday is pretty light so how about if I meet you here when you get off work and then stay that night and then plan to stay most Saturdays all day into Sunday? Does that sound good? But you'll have to let me study here."

"So I only get to see you twice a week? What about Friday?"

"I know twice a week isn't much but if we weren't thrown together because I was your nanny, then we'd only see each other that often to date, right? Probably?"

"Only if I was a fool. I'd like to think that if I met you some other way, I'd still be just as much in love with you and wanting to monopolize your time," he says with a smirk.

"Okay, Fridays we'll play by ear. It depends on what else I have going on."

"Oh, I think I could convince you to drop your plans and come for me." His innuendo does not escape my notice. Neither does his lopsided smile. The word 'cocksure' comes to mind.

"You're pretty cocky."

"You know I am," he says, grinning.

I grin back at him because I can't resist but then I get serious again. "Okay, so does that make you feel better? We'll miss each other but isn't there that saying about absence making the heart grow fonder?"

"And the sex even hotter. You better be ready for me because I plan to thoroughly tire you out when you stay over. I'm going to have you every way I can."

My breath speeds up at his words. "Duly noted," I say with a wink.

"Do you have little glasses and a clipboard?" he asks. Um, okay. Weird question.

"No. Why?"

"Because you sound like a secretary and I have an office upstairs."

"What? Oh! You perv!" I say smiling at him.

"What? My secretary at work doesn't like my parts or I might have played out that fantasy with her."

"Oh, nice! Does Pam know that?"

"Of course. We used to joke that we should sleep together just to see how it would go. Sorry, probably shouldn't talk about that now. See, I'm an asshole."

"You're not. A pervert but not an asshole."

"I can live with that." He leans into me for a kiss, which quickly becomes heated. But I pull back when I feel his roaming hands stop on my breasts.

He groans when I move his hands. "Bye friends," he says, "Do you know how much will power it took for me to not touch your body last night when you were drunk and lying almost naked on my bed? With your little panties and your fucking knee socks!" He growls that last part.

"You could have. I would have been fine with you touching me."

"I know, that's what made it so hard. I just can't do that though. Personal conviction."

"That's why I love you so much. You're honorable and I always feel respected with you."

"I'm glad. So can I touch my friends now? For a little while? I think they miss me," he says with that pout that I can't resist.

"Fine," I say, and his hands are immediately on my breasts, cupping and squeezing them. It's a little strange just sitting here while he worships my breasts over my shirt but it's making him very happy. "Okay, okay," I say when his hands travel under my shirt. "We still have a lot to talk about."

He sits back with a smile. "Thanks!"

"I can't resist you. You are way too adorable."

"Good to know," he says with a wink.

I take a deep breath and Eric's smile fades. He knows what's coming. "So, Eric, can we talk about Friday night now?"

"I guess we have to. Let me just say that I had the day from hell on Friday and I was already in the worst mood when I came home. I'm not usually that much of a jerk. Right? That was bad even for me."

"Eric, you are not a jerk. Stop calling yourself names, okay? We were both at fault."

"Well, I shouldn't have taken out my frustration on you."

"Why did you have such a bad day? What happened?"

"Madden. She is still a problem because she says that Andre will just lie for her and Pam had no hard proof of anything. Then she told me she wanted me and when I said I was taken she insulted you. She told my boss she wanted me for a conference in New York this weekend and then I had to work late to finish some bullshit report she said she needed."

"Whoa! What a bitch! I'm so sorry. I thought she was taken care of. She insulted me? How does she know me?"

"She doesn't. It was a general insult along the lines of my girlfriend being a gold digger with mommy dreams. She is way off base, I know, but it pissed me off. And then she went to my boss and I almost had to go to a conference with her for the whole weekend. Pam said she would get evidence this weekend so we'll see."

"Why didn't you tell me that when you came home?"

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair—signs of stress, but I want him to relax.

"You were tired," I say so he knows I understand. "You didn't feel like talking."

He looks relieved and nods his head. "But I should have told you."

"It would have helped but I can understand why you didn't want to talk. But why didn't you tell me that Andre is Sophie's step-brother when you told me about him? If you would have told me then, I would have never brought it up."

"It's hard." He looks thoughtful but he doesn't say anything else.

"Don't you trust me? You said I don't know anything but that's only because you didn't tell me anything."

"I know. I just didn't want to get into it. I hate that whole fucking family, Sookie. But I do trust you. I should have told you." When he says that he just didn't want to get into it, I am reminded of what Amelia told me. Am I pushing him so much that he's reluctant to share with me now?

"I think maybe you didn't tell me because you didn't want me to push you to talk and I'm sorry that I've been pushy so far. I'm going to try really hard to respect your wish not to talk if you tell me that. Okay? I'm not going to push you to talk about difficult things. When you are ready, you will. I'm sorry Eric."

"I know you have good intentions but maybe you're right. It takes a lot for me to be open with you. It's really hard for me. It brings up...just a bunch of shit I don't like to think about. But I know it comes from your heart. You just want to help."

"You're right but I know that you have to want the help so I'm just going to love you, okay? And leave you alone about the rest. Will that help you to be more forthcoming?"

"I think so."

"I just want you to tell me what's going on. I need you to. We have to communicate better if we want this to work. I really didn't mean to upset you on Friday. I really had no idea that you knew Andre and that he was a little jerk. I would have never suggested that he needed help."

"But I could have told you and instead I yelled at you and insulted you. Angel, I am so sorry. No wonder you wanted to leave."

"You scared me, Eric. Your anger, it's never scared me before but I guess you've never been so mad at me before."

Even before I have finished my sentence, Eric is on his knees before me with his hands around mine. He bows his head and touches his forehead to our entwined hands. He stays there with his head down for a moment and when he looks up with shining eyes, I sense only one emotion radiating off of him—shame.

"Sookie, I am so sorry, _so sorry_. I would never hurt you. Never. Please believe me."

He squeezes my hands and bows his head, looking down at my lap. I pull my hands from his and his brow furrows, he thinks I'm rejecting him and his chest moves rapidly with his increasing breath. But I'm not rejecting him, I just want to see his sweet face so I can reassure him that I do believe that he would never hurt me. I cup my hands under his jaw so that he will look up at me. When he does, his face is so full of sorrow that I don't even know how he does not have tears streaming down it. I look lovingly at him and he sighs, the sound I have come to associate with his torment. He either sighs when he feels upset or sighs when his heartache ends, but his sighs have quickly become a hated sound to me.

"I know you would never hurt me, Eric," I whisper and the relief he feels is visible in his body. He brings his head toward me and rests his forehead against mine. He takes a deep breath and on his exhale, I remember the last time we sat like this, his forehead pressed to mine, his sweet breath washing over my face. It was the night we first decided to give this a shot. This thing between us, this thing that has blossomed into a love so deep, I feel like my heart is forever bound to his. His hurt is my hurt, his happiness is mine as well, and that's why I push so hard to uncover his long buried emotions so that he can finally be who he really is. He feels deeply and profoundly everything he lets himself experience. How much more full would his life be if he truly embraces all that he currently stuffs down? How much more happiness would he have? But I realize now that I can't help him if he doesn't want help. I can't push him, I can only love him and share myself with him and wait for the day that he accepts the help he truly needs.

I cradle Eric's face in my hands and bring my lips to his for a soft kiss before asking him to sit back down next to me. I appreciate his heartfelt apology but I don't need him to kneel in front of me and beg because he had my forgiveness long ago.

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ERIC

I sit back down on the couch next to Sookie still feeling slightly sick. As soon as she told me that I scared her, a wave of nausea hit me and I wanted to vomit at the thought that my beloved Sookie was ever afraid of me. I would never hurt her that way but she's right, I was incredibly angry that night. So angry that I wanted to destroy something so I can't blame her for wanting to leave. I can't let that happen again. I can't let myself get that angry. If Sookie thinks talking to her about things will help then even if it's hard, I know it's something I have to do.

"Sookie, I want to tell you about Sophie and her family," I say and she looks at me skeptically.

"Are you sure? You don't have to. I'm not going to ask you to."

"I know and I appreciate that. But maybe telling you will help me not to be so angry about it. I didn't realize I was still so angry until you called Andre her uncle."

"I'm so sorry about that, Eric. I don't know why I said that. I didn't know you had reason to hate them all."

"You couldn't have known. I didn't tell you. But I want to tell you now."

I sit forward and look down to the floor because it's easier than looking at her. I can't think of how to start so I just sit silently for a few minutes.

"You don't have to tell me if it's too hard," she whispers.

"I want to. I need to," I say without looking up.

"Okay, take your time," she says, rubbing light circles on my back.

"They knew my father," I blurt quickly. I take a breath and start again more slowly. "Sophie's family did. Her parents are social climbers. The worst kind of people you can imagine. They don't care about anything but appearances. They like money and status more than people, more than their own children. They knew who my father was. They liked his money and his status and they knew he had a son. It didn't matter that I stayed far away from my father. I was Eric Northman, my name connected me to him and they didn't care about much else. Of course, I didn't know any of this when Sophie and I happened to meet at some fundraiser put on by one of my firm's clients.

"By the time I found out that she knew who I was before I met her, I was already in love with her. So I let it go. I chose not to think about it, chose not to consider why she was really with me. I realize now that I should have ended things then...but then I wouldn't have my Anni and she is worth all the heartache." The thought of my life without my daughter in it, brings tears to my eyes but I quickly blink them away and pull myself together so I can continue.

"Sophie's parents doted on me. Whenever they were in town they fawned all over me at the beginning. It was weird but flattering but then after a while, when they realized that I have no interest in galas and schmoozing, they stopped liking me so much. By then, I was pretty sure Sophie loved me too and she told me not to worry about her parents—that they cared about social climbing but she did not.

"So we moved in together, the first time I ever lived with a woman. At first it was great but then it just seemed like I was in her way all the time. We fought a lot. She was evil when we fought, she said the nastiest things but I was just so in love with her. I was enthralled with her, I was under her spell or something and I let her get away with so much bullshit in the name of love.

"We fought about Andre a lot. Her parents were always off somewhere, leaving him at home with a nanny so Sophie basically let him live with us. Andre sold drugs and they didn't care. We fought over that the most. Sophie gave him my money all the time, guilting me into letting her because her parents were gone. Their relationship was uncomfortably close."

Until now, Sookie has been silently rubbing my back but now she pipes up with, "Uncomfortably close like they were..."

"Honestly? It could have been that. At the time, I didn't think so. I just thought that she felt like his mom because his real mom was pretty absent. She was already out of their house when her father married Andre's mother so I suppose they didn't grow up like siblings. And now that I know Andre is fucking a forty-year-old woman, I don't know what to think."

"Gross," she says, which makes me chuckle, but then I quickly turn serious again when I think about Sophie.

"So I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised when Sophie didn't want to stay for Annika. She only cared about herself, and maybe Andre too. But she loved herself more than anyone. I thought I could love her enough to make her stay, to make her love me—really love me—back. But I couldn't. She didn't want me...she wanted my money, or my father's money which, ironically, I don't even take. You should have heard that fight. She didn't want my child, she wanted her own life. Sophie left town for California after she had Annika and as far as I know, she is still gone. She wanted to be an actress. She fooled me so maybe she has a shot."

I lean back against the couch and sigh. That was hard, harder than I thought but Sookie's silent support made it much easier than it could have been. I hate to think of what a fool I was to believe in Sophie and to let so much bullshit slip past me because I loved her.

"It's ok to cry, Eric," says Sookie and I realize that my face is scrunched up and I'm breathing really deeply like I do sometimes when I am trying to get myself together.

"I'm not going to cry over her," I say, probably too harshly because Sookie looks taken aback. "I shed my last tear over her when I begged her for hours to stay with me. To make a family with me. Fuck her! She left me. She fucking left her baby. I'm not crying for her."

"Not for her, honey. For you. Sometimes crying helps you to feel better."

"Crying doesn't make me feel better. It makes me feel...out of control."

"Okay. How do you feel now?" she asks, stroking my brow. I love when she touches my face. I know she's just trying to help me relax but it feels good.

"I'm okay. I like when you pet me," I say, pulling her into my lap.

"I would never do what Sophie did. You know?" she says, pulling back to look at my face. "I would never. If would never use you for your money, I would never disregard your feelings especially about something like drugs. Did she know about your brother?"

"She didn't care."

"I care. I would never hurt you like that. If I got pregnant I would never abandon my baby."

"That's why I love you, Sookie. You are so good to me. When I compare what we have, even in this short amount of time, to what I had for all those years with Sophie, I can't even figure out why I was with her at all."

"I love you, Eric. And it's the same with Bill. What he and I had is nothing compared to this."

"I'm glad to hear that," I say, pulling her to my mouth for a kiss. I discretely look at my watch and see that we have plenty of time to go upstairs. Annika should sleep for another hour.

"Come upstairs and let me show you," she says. Sometimes she amazes me.

"Absolutely."

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**Thanks for reading! I will see you in a while! Possibly two weeks or a little less.**

**I'm sorry I haven't been great about review replies. I've been trying to get chapters out fast since I'll be gone for a while.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Guys! GUYS! I'm back! I had a great vacation, got to see some family that I miss dearly and had fun with my kids and husband. And then I see that this story got two You Want Blood awards! Thank you so much to everyone who nominated and voted for me! I am flabbergasted to be among the writers that I admire so much! Thank you, thank you! I love you guys!**

**Thanks for reading this story and for your continued support. Thanks also to my friend, padore, for helping me get my Nanny mojo back and for letting me run ideas by her. Her help and advice has been invaluable.**

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SOOKIE

Our first week only seeing each other twice was hard. I could barely concentrate in class and I almost ached from missing him so much. He told me much the same thing, saying his chest hurt when he thought of me. I almost took a cab right to his door at midnight when he told me that. We got through it with lots of texts, calls, and a couple rounds of phone sex.

The second week was easier but I still missed him all the time. I missed Annika too and whenever I saw her, she gave me a huge grin and crawled like lightning to me. She clung to me like a little monkey and wouldn't let me put her down for at least an hour. I feel bad for her. She doesn't understand any of this. She has no idea why I disappear for days at a time when I had been a near constant in her life before. At least she is happy with Haley. Eric is happy with Haley too. I know he sees her as a kind of mother figure because she is very sweet to him. She treats him like her own son and she has told me that she thinks of him that way. I think it's nice for Eric because I know he misses his mom. The more people in his life that love him and treat him right the better. Maybe then he'll understand his own worth and how much happiness he deserves.

After his talk about Sophie, so many things suddenly made a lot of sense. Like the way he thanks me over and over for all the little things I do for him. I guess Sophie was too selfish to do much for him. She claimed to love him and all she did was use him. Now I understand better why Eric flipped out when we fought. Fights with Sophie escalated quickly and she said horrible things to him so I think it was just self-defense that he yelled and asked me to leave. Not to mention the fact that he had had a really stressful day. And his avoidance of tough situations is probably because he is scared to argue since he and Sophie fought all the time.

It breaks my heart that being loved—really and truly loved—is a foreign concept to him. He has never been treated right in his whole life. Everyone who claimed to love him somehow failed him in a very big way and I will do everything in my power to make sure that I never do. His dad made him feel unlovable and over-emotional and his mom didn't protect him from that, the mother of his baby was completely selfish and left him all alone with such a huge responsibility. I wonder why he stayed with her when she was so ugly to him. I guess he didn't know that he deserved any better. That's why he tells me that he doesn't deserve me and that he's not worthy of me. Nobody has ever treated him like the precious person he is. He doesn't know his own value because nobody has ever loved him the way he deserves. He has no idea what it is to be able to completely trust in the person who says that they love him. That is devastatingly awful. It makes me ache for him and want to cry the tears that he won't. No wonder he feels like he always has to be in control and why being out of control is so scary to him. The fact that he gave his heart to me is amazing. That he can still trust after all those people fucked him over.

"Eric, you are amazing!" I say to him. I'm supposed to be studying but I just keep thinking about Eric. Annika is asleep and we are in his office on either side of his desk. He looks up smiling.

"Well, okay...but you wanna tell me why?"

"You love me."

"Yes. That's why I'm amazing?" His brow is furrowed and his mouth is slightly open, making him look completely adorable.

"Well, yeah. You've been hurt...badly. But you still let me love you and you love me in return."

He sits thoughtfully for a moment. "That wasn't easy. I had many thoughts about sending you away when I realized how much I liked you." When he sees my face fall, he continues with, "But the thought of not seeing you, not being with you, brought me so much pain that I quickly banished those kinds of thoughts. I'm so glad I didn't let my past get in the way of us."

"So am I. But I want you to know that all those people that hurt you, all those people that said they loved you but disregarded your feelings, they didn't deserve you. You didn't deserve that treatment. You are worthy of every good thing that you have and so much more, Eric. You deserve to be loved for the amazing, beautiful soul that you are. Don't base what you think you are worth on the way those people treated you."

As I was talking, I was coming closer to him and now that I am finished and I'm standing right in front of his chair, I reach out and cup his face in my hand, running my thumb over his lips. "You deserve _everything_," I whisper to him, looking deep into his stormy eyes. He continues to look silently up at me and then he takes a deep breath and throws his arms around my waist, pulling my body into his face, which he buries in my stomach. I rub his back while he breathes deeply and when he looks up, his eyes are filled with tears. If he blinks, they will fall. But instead, he wipes his hands across his eyes and lays his forehead on my stomach, looking down. Maybe it's a start—those tears that don't fall. The beginning of him letting go and letting himself feel.

"Hey, it's okay," I say, lifting his face. I lean down and kiss his eyelids and he sighs and sits back in his chair. He pulls me down sideways onto his lap and sits silently hugging me for a while.

"Take a break?" he says after a few minutes. He looks so hopeful.

"Twenty minutes." He always wants sex in times like this. It's amazing that he can shift focus so fast.

"I can work with that. Take your pants off."

I stand and do as he says and he pulls his down but stays seated. He pulls me to straddle his lap and his hands are immediately on my breasts. He pulls off my shirt and bra and sucks one nipple while he fondles the other. I arch into his hands and breathe in sharply. He really knows what he's doing. His other hand travels down to find me already wet enough to slide a finger in.

"Mmm," he hums around my nipple, causing ripples of pleasure to rock my body.

"Fuck me. I want your cock inside me," I breathe and he growls. He loves when I ask for what I want. And if I use dirty words, all the better.

"Damn, girl," he pants as he positions himself. I sink down onto him and his head flops back, hitting the back of his chair hard.

"Oh, baby! Are you okay?" I ask.

"Keep fucking me, I'm fine," he says with a grimace, but his head hit hard so I'm not sure if I believe him. I notice that I haven't stopped moving up and down, though.

"Are you sure? You hit that hard."

"Yes. Come on, twenty minutes. Get to work," he says, smirking.

Okay. He's not going to let a little pain get in the way of his pleasure. I know my being around less makes for a very eager Eric when we get to be together. The man can rebound in minutes and be ready for three rounds in a row. I pull his face towards mine and kiss him hard and he growls and thrusts his tongue in my mouth. His hands go to my hips, his grip steely, and he pushes me down onto him when I rise up. His hands and his hips cause us to slap together audibly and he grunts each time we meet. His chair back is up against his desk and all of the sudden papers and things start falling to the floor. He doesn't miss a beat—he stands and with me still attached, lowers us to the floor where he has a small rug.

He starts speaking rapid Swedish, which he does when he's caught up. That, or the bump on the head messed with his brain. Hmm, verbal centers are more on the left side of the brain so I doubt he bumped himself into Swedish only mode. Maybe I should check if he can still speak English. My stupid musings make me laugh and Eric stills and looks down at me.

"Something funny?" he says, eyebrow cocked.

"Just thinking, sorry," I say, still laughing a little.

"Hmm, obviously I'm not doing a good job if you are able to think about other things."

I know he's joking but he does look slightly hurt, which makes me feel bad.

"No," I say and his brow furrows. "I mean yes! You are excellent, darlin'. Sorry...oh god!" I say when he slams his hips into me causing me to cry out. I absolutely love the noises that he makes. His grunts, groans, and growls are unbelievably sexy. When he fucks me hard he is very vocal and it makes me reach orgasm that much quicker. Now as he slams into me, he is grunting with his face against my neck and it's making vibrations spread throughout my body. "Eric," I moan.

He lifts his head to look into my eyes. "I love that," he growls.

"I love _you_," I say with my hand on his cheek and his eyes soften as they stare intently into mine.

"Angel," he whispers as he gentles himself and pulls out slowly. He pushes all the way in and then rocks his hips so that he mostly stays inside me. Every time his pelvis rocks against mine, I moan and the heat invading every cell in my body ratchets up, tightening my muscles.

"Oh...Eric..._Oh_!" I moan. I'm almost there. I reach down and put my hands on his tight butt, feeling it flex under my fingers. I push and hold him to me and he growls and gently bites my neck. That's all I need for the heat to ignite into a raging fire burning all throughout my body.

"Fuck," he groans as my fingernails dig into his skin and my legs come up to wrap around his thighs. He holds me close as I ride out my orgasm and then he crushes my lips with his as he works his hips at a furious pace to find his own.

Something he does with those hips feels really good and I start moaning again. He makes a sound of pleasure against my lips and I can tell he is purposely holding himself back so I will cum again. He gets very growly when he's close and he's like that now.

"Cum for me, angel," he says, his voice straining in his effort to control himself.

I don't know how it always happens, but whenever he orders me to cum, my body obeys almost instantly.

As soon as I start to spasm around him, he pulls himself away with so much speed, that the loss of him shocks me. He cums on my stomach and then collapses at my side, apologizing.

"I'm sorry," he says, taking off his shirt to wipe me up. "I...It took me by surprise. I didn't mean to cut your orgasm short."

His face is sorrowful, his eyes searching mine for any evidence that I might be upset with him.

"It's okay, honey," I say, kissing him softly, "But you can cum inside me." I know I risk starting an argument but I guess I just don't understand his hang up about this. My shot is protecting me now and we are both clean.

After Eric and I talked two Sunday afternoons ago and he told me all about Sophie, we had sex without a condom for the first time. Beforehand, we had a very awkward conversation in which Eric told me that he was okay with not using condoms but that he wanted to pull out. The awkward part was when he asked if it was okay for him to cum on me, which would happen if he pulled out. It was something I hadn't thought of, since I've never had a partner who did that. I assured him it was okay if that would make him more comfortable and he apologized so many times I was about to just go back to condoms. He is just, I don't know, almost scared to offend me. I think that comes from Sophie and their awful fights. He is really sensitive about making me mad and he can't take being yelled at. He is a pleaser, which is good, but not at the detriment to his own happiness. Ultimately, I enjoyed watching him cum on me. It's pretty hot, actually. Watching him pulse and feeling the thick hot spurts of his seed on my stomach—definitely good. He was happy that I liked it, which should erase some of his guilt at not finishing inside me. But it's proving to be a difficult learning curve for him. It's apparently not something he has done before either.

"You know how I feel, Sookie," he says with a desperate edge to his voice.

"I know. And it's okay, really," I say softly, cupping his cheek. I don't want to fight with him. He has issues and while I know his reasons, I can't help but feel a little sad that he puts me in the same category as Sophie. I would cherish any baby I was blessed with, heck, I cherish _his_ baby and she didn't even come from my body. I sigh and he puts his big hands on my face, making me look at him.

"Do you want me to use condoms?" he asks, missing the entire point.

"No, baby, I want you to trust me. Do you really think I would abandon my baby or you if I got pregnant? That hurts me," I say and the look on his face is one of utter sadness.

"Sookie, I do trust you."

"Do you?"

He looks at me—stares into my eyes with such intensity that I don't think his eyes are even seeing. He's searching for something inside himself and I hope to god he finds it.

"Yes," he whispers, brushing his lips over mine. "Yes. Let me show you...please?"

I look at him until understanding dawns on me. He wants to make love to me again and his erection on my thigh drives his point home.

"Show me," I whisper as I move my body on top of his. We haven't made love with me on top to completion yet. Both because he doesn't like to give up control and because he can't pull out when he's underneath. But if he trusts me, he's going to have to do what he said and show me.

His chest rumbles when I position him and lower myself down onto his hard length.

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ERIC

Sookie, hot and wet and tight around my cock, tests my control like nothing else. Sookie, hot and wet and tight around my cock with no barriers between us, is like nothing I've ever experienced. It's heaven and I want to worship at the altar of Sookie whenever she will let me. She has been very happy to let me make love to her whenever I ask, which is often when we are able to be together. These past two weeks have been torture for me whenever we're apart. I have seen her only seven days out of the last fourteen and all but three of those were half days. It's not enough. Not since I was used to seeing her practically everyday, in the morning and at night. I know I was spoiled getting to be with her so much but I miss her. I ache for her. Both my heart and my cock. Phone sex can only relieve so much. My hands and lips miss her curves and soft skin. I miss holding her at night. I jokingly asked her to rub her body on my bed so I could smell her when I slept but I sleep so much better on the nights when her scent is still clinging to my pillow. It fades though. It fades and then my nights are wakeful and restless and my dreams leave me weary and rattled. I wake lonely and distressed and try for another day to force a smile and go through the motions of my life without my Sookie.

Annika is the only thing that makes me happy when I can't have Sookie by my side. I know Annika misses her too. She searches for her whenever she hears her name so I've stopped talking to her about Sookie. I feel like Annika has now been abandoned by two mothers even though I know that's not fair. Sookie is not her mom and she has no responsibility to Annika but it physically hurts me to see Anni cling to Sookie when she finally gets to see her and cry pitifully when Sookie leaves. I don't know how to soothe my little princess who misses her Sookie just as much as I do. I have the urge to cry along with her when she does but I try to be strong for her and distract her so she won't be so sad. We, Northmans, are apparently a clingy bunch. I know I feel pathetic when I want to beg on my knees for her to stay with me as she slips out my door. I feel like a fucking loser when I want to weep at the sight of my empty bed night after night. I'm not doing well with this. I want more, I need more. This is killing me.

"Eric, stop thinking and fuck me," says Sookie, pulling me out of my own head.

"God, Sookie, I love it when you talk like that." I force myself to stop thinking about her leaving and just enjoy the time we have now.

She's on top of me and I know it's deliberate. She wants to know that I mean what I say. I do trust her and I want to show her. I know she loves me. She tells me how much all the time. And I know she loves Anni so I don't know why it scares me so much to let this go. It's the loss of control I guess.

"Then do it," she says, putting her hands on my chest and raising her hips, making me groan. I grab those curvy hips and help her move up and down on my cock. She makes me so hard for her that I lose my mind a little.

"Så våt, så bra, jag vill ha dig så illa(So wet, so good, I want you so bad)," I say.

She looks down on me, smiling. "English, baby. Tell me in English."

"Sorry," I pant, "I want you so bad. You make me crazy, Sookie."

I am determined this time to stay on my back for her. I realize I have problems giving up control and this is one of the many ways I need to improve and give some over to her. Besides, I have great breast access like this.

I make good use of my position to caress and fondle her beautiful breasts and tease her nipples until they harden under my fingers. She moans and arches her back, pushing those breasts into my hands. My hands are large, so even though her breasts are plentiful and full, they fit perfectly in them. I am really liking this position and I don't know why I didn't give it a good chance before. Sookie on top of me, with her breasts pushed up, her back curved so enticingly, and her head thrown back exposing her slender neck, is a glorious sight to behold. She is a goddess, my angel, otherworldly and divine.

She looks into my eyes and leans down to kiss my lips and then she moves her head and licks up my entire neck. Fuck. I growl and squeeze her ass where my hands are. I want her underneath me, I want all her smooth golden skin touching mine. As if she sees my struggle, she lays her body down on top of me, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling herself up and down on my cock. My hands on her ass help her move and she quickens her pace, moaning loudly. I know she's close because her muscles are squeezing my cock and her breath is coming out faster.

"Sookie, I love you. Move in with me," I say, cupping her face and making her look at me.

She has no chance to respond because in the next second her orgasm rips through her and she sits up quickly, throwing her head back. A long low moan comes from her lips and then she says my name just how I like it—as a breathy gasp as pleasure rolls through her. Goddamn, she is beautiful when she cums.

As she comes down, she reaches back to fondle my balls and they tighten instantly. My hips jerk and my stomach tightens as I look down towards her. I can't see what her hand is doing but I can see the point where our bodies come together. She sees me looking and she lifts her hips even higher on her way up so I can see more of myself as I thrust into her. My eyes want to close in ecstasy but I force them open to watch our joining. The sight of her, flushed and stretched around my straining cock, wet and shining from her pleasure, is enough to bring me over the edge.

"Fuck, Sookie!" I grit out just before I lose my mind to pure bliss, "That's so fucking beautiful!"

After having to worry about pulling out just as my orgasm hit for the past two weeks, being able to just let go and feel my satisfaction wash through me is unbelievably good. My whole body stiffens as I cum, my hips push up and I bury myself in Sookie. My mouth opens soundlessly—there is too much pleasure to make noise. My release comes in great waves of heat, making me pant and squeeze my eyes shut. Then Sookie squeezes just hard enough that I almost buck her off of me. My balls ache from that intense orgasm and my cock is suddenly too sensitive to be touched. Pulling out is the best kind of agony and my breath is ragged as she leans up to let my softening cock move out of her heat.

Our arms come around each other at the same time and I hold her small body to mine, listening to her breathing slow. Her head is resting on my chest, over my heart where she likes to be. She finds the steady beat soothing, she says. I just like her lying on me.

She lifts her head to look at me. "Did you mean it?" she asks and it takes me a second to figure out what she's talking about.

"I meant it but I know you won't so I don't want you to feel bad about saying no," I say. I really did mean it but I wouldn't have said it under normal circumstances. I know she doesn't want to move in and I don't want to pressure her.

She looks at my face for a long time and I am starting to feel uncomfortable because her face is not happy. I hope she's not upset with me.

"You know how much I miss you, honey," she says, climbing off of me to retrieve her clothes.

"Don't get dressed, Sookie!" I blurt and she just looks at me before pulling on her shirt. Damn.

She comes back to lie down next to me with just her shirt and panties on. I rub the smooth skin of her thighs and she pushes my hand back down when I get too close to her center. I smile at her. "I know you miss me, Sookie. I miss you so much that it hurts. But I also admire your drive to do well in school so it wasn't fair of me to ask you to move in. Believe me, I would love it, but forget I asked, okay? Don't feel bad," I say. She looked so grief stricken when I said I hurt for her but I don't want her to feel so bad. I don't tell her how Annika cries for her and how I don't sleep without her. She deserves to go to school guilt free.

"You are the best, thank you," she says, kissing me lightly on the cheek. "How about I bring some more stuff over so that I can stay here every Friday through Sunday night? If I go out on Friday, I'll just come late and use my key. Or you can come out with me and my friends. Steve hasn't stopped asking about you," she says with a wink and a silly smile.

"Oh, my boyfriend," I say, which makes her lean over me and tickle the spot on my lower hip that makes me squirm. "No, no! Stop!" I laugh.

She stops tickling me and gets serious so I do too. "And in May, when I graduate, we can talk about this again, okay?"

"Yes, but can I make a counter offer?" She nods so I continue. "I would like you to stay until Monday morning and in exchange, I will drive you to school when I go to work. Do you accept?"

She smiles. "Yes, but on one condition, Mr. Eric Northman, JD," she says, using my full title. I raise my eyebrows so she will continue. "I want a guarantee of services provided."

I growl at her, no longer the JD. She makes me so fucking crazy for her. I grab her and flip her underneath me, kissing her soundly.

"The lawyer speak makes me hot," she says, giggling.

"I know," I say before kissing her again. I'm starting to get hard again and when she feels it, she pushes against my chest.

"I have to clean up. You're dripping out of me," she says with a wink, as I roll off of her. She goes into the hall bathroom with her clothes and closes the door.

I'm dripping out of her. Why does that make me want to strut and preen myself? I want to see, and I follow her to the bathroom, pulling on my pants, and knock on the door.

"What?" she calls out.

"Can I see?"

"Can you see what?"

"My cum dripping out of you."

She opens the door and stares at me. She's already dressed.

"You're dressed?" I pout.

"Yes, pervert," she says, laughing. "Next time, okay?"

"Okay," I say, still scowling.

"Aw, you are the cutest pervert in the world," she says, standing on tiptoe to kiss me.

She pulls back before I've had enough but when I lean back in she puts her fingertips over my mouth. "I need to study, Eric. I have so much reading to do. Maybe later you can quiz me on neuroanatomy? But right now I need to read."

That's my cue to shut up and leave her alone. It's like the worst torture I can imagine. I have to sit with her on the couch in my office but keep my hands to myself. Well, I guess I don't have to sit with her but I like to be near her. If I talk, she glares at me until I shut my mouth. It's worth it to behave though because once I couldn't help myself and she actually left and went home to study. I'm not going to let that happen again. She takes school very seriously and I do admire her dedication. She's way smarter than me. She tried to explain something to me once and I didn't understand half of the words that came out of her mouth. It made me so fucking hard but she didn't want to feel my dick rubbing on her so I try not to get excited when she studies anymore. When I'm hard, I can't control myself and that's why she left that time. I learned my lesson—when she is engrossed in reading about something called neuroscience of morality, I should not take her hand and place it on my erect penis, that's bad. It makes her stand quickly, scowling and chastising, and then pack her stuff and leave. Especially if it was the third time she told me to leave her alone. After that she brought me a book because I told her I didn't read anymore. So now I have this huge book to read but I don't want to.

"Where's your book, honey?" she says as she settles in to read on my couch. She always tucks her legs up under her like a cat and the best fucking part is the look of concentration on her face as she reads. Her tongue comes out sometimes and her brow furrows and it takes every single ounce of my self-control to not stare at her the whole time she's there reading.

"My book?" I say. "Here." I find it on the side table and hold it up.

"What part are you on?"

"Um," I mumble. Just my luck she gave me one of her favorite books and she actually wants to discuss it. So not my thing.

She takes the book and looks at my bookmark and then back at me. I smile sheepishly. She laughs and pats my thigh. "If you don't want to read it, that's fine. You can find something else to do." I look at her pointedly. "Not that!" she laughs. "Come on, baby, let me read and then I promise I'll take care of you before I leave."

The thought that she is leaving soon sobers me up and I sit quietly watching her angelic face as she reads something about cellular neurophysiology. Goddamn she's smart!

She does take care of me later. In the shower. She showers here so that she can spend more time with me since she has an early class on Mondays. That way, she can roll out of bed and go right to class. I love her in the shower. Wet and flushed from the hot water, she is so beautiful. I have a hard time not sucking on her until I mark her but I'm careful not to. I never knew I was so orally fixated until I met her. I want my mouth on every part of her. I want to lick every bit of her luscious skin.

The shower is over way too soon and she's dressed and ready to go home. She will start staying over next Sunday night but not this one. She puts her dirty clothes in my hamper and I sigh because I love to see them there. I like to wash her clothes with mine. I always take her shirt out and smell it before I wash her sweet scent from the fabric.

"Put your underwear on so you can walk me out," she says, patting my ass. I've just been staring at her but I do what she wants and then we walk downstairs together. I hand her her backpack and she kisses me after she puts it on. I pull her back to me to lay a thorough kiss on her lips because I won't get to see or kiss her tomorrow. She needs something to remember me by. I smile at the way she takes a while to open her eyes once I pull back from her. She does that when I've done a very good job.

"Goodbye, angel," I whisper with my lips at her ear.

"Bye, Eric," she says caressing my face.

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**So that was kind of a transition chapter to show how they are both feeling now...with some sex thrown in. I missed writing them and the sex might be a favorite of mine to write. ;) Time will be moving faster now so expect lots of skips forward.**

**Please check out the short story I wrote on my vacation. It's called _Guard Your Heart_ and the idea came to me at the beach. I wrote it at night when my family was asleep because I'm a night owl. You can find it on my profile page. Thanks!**


	33. Chapter 33

SOOKIE

"Fika!" Eric calls out. "Flip up that skirt and lean over the couch."

I smile and close my book. He always gets me at a chapter break. He's good, that one. Standing slowly, I walk behind the couch and lean over the back of it. I look right into his eyes as I spread my legs and pull my skirt up inch by torturous inch until it's bunched around my waist. He growls, which makes my heart speed up, and stalks towards me.

The longer I'm with Eric, the more he shows me this side of himself. He can be very dominant but I am not complaining. He told me that a fika is some sort of Swedish coffee break but instead of coffee we have a sex fika. We started playing this game a little while ago. Eric says 'fika' and then tells me how he wants me and I comply. Sometimes it's 'take off your clothes and kneel down' or 'pull down your pants and come get on my lap,' but it's always something I am willing to do and I know that if I didn't feel like taking a sex break, he wouldn't be upset. I actually think it's nice that he trusts me with this aspect of his personality. He is showing me what he likes and he trusts me enough to tell him if I don't want it. And so far, the only thing he wants but I don't, is backdoor sex. Even though he playfully tells me that I will eventually 'yield' to him—his words—I can't see that ever happening. That thing is way too big to come anywhere near _there_. But he was fine about asking. He is not so worried about offending me anymore. I don't mean that he is disrespectful at all. On the contrary, the only reason I like to play these games with him is because I know I have his full respect. So when Eric tells me to bend over his couch, I wait impatiently for him to come show me what he wants to do to me. Sweet, sweet anticipation.

Eric comes up behind me and I can feel the heat from his body as he looms over me. He has my breath coming out faster just by being so close. He bends down to put his hand on my calf and then with a sinfully slow, light caress, he runs his hand up to my panties. He strokes his long fingers over them, from the crease of my bottom down to my center.

"Mmm, you're already wet," he says before his open hand comes down on my backside. Not too hard but hard enough to send a jolt through my body and make me even wetter.

"Eric," I moan breathlessly as his hand spanks me again. He knows just how hard to swat me to leave me a little pink and out of breath but moaning for more.

"I've been hard for you for hours," he says in a low gravelly voice, right against my ear. "You and your fucking knee socks and little skirt, Sookie. You have been tempting me all fucking night."

He reaches for my panties and roughly pulls them down my legs. I'm expecting to then feel his fingers on me so when he squats down and I instead feel his tongue, licking up from my clit, I gasp and my knees go weak. His chest rumbles.

He stands up and undoes his pants but doesn't pull them down. He only untucks his erection and lines up with my entrance and with one hand in my hair and the other on my hip, he pushes into me in one quick stroke. The feeling of his smooth skin sliding into me in contrast to the rough material of his jeans against me puts me into sensory over load and I climax after only a few thrusts. Both of us are surprised by this and he laughs and says I must be over eager for his cock.

"You don't even know," I answer. He smiles and continues to rock his hips into me, finding his release soon after.

"You're so fucking sexy, Sookie," he says. He's still inside me though he's rapidly softening. I squeeze my inner muscles and he takes in air between his teeth. "Again, already?" he asks teasingly. "You're going to kill me."

"Then I guess you'll die happy," I say turning around to nip his chin with my teeth.

He growls. He loves teeth. It's one sure way to get a big reaction out of him. Not that anything he does is small. But he turns a little more animalistic when there are teeth involved. He pulls out and stands back to look at me. I know exactly what he's doing. Since the first time I told him, he takes every opportunity possible to watch his seed drip out of me. He absolutely loves it and nine times out of ten, it makes him hard again. This time is no exception and since I'm still in position, he buries himself again between my legs.

"Again, already," I say when I've recovered my voice.

He smacks me and then rubs his hand over me and down to my soaking wet core. "Are you teasing me, woman?" he says in his deep voice.

I can only pant in response. In the weeks since I've been intimate with Eric, he has made it his mission to know every part of me, to figure out what I like and to learn how to please me in every way. And not just sexually. He knows exactly what to do for me, in bed and in life. His Valentine's Day gifts to me were nothing short of perfect. He bought me a desk, my own desk for his office. He told me it was so I could study and do my work without having to worry about him bothering me. And while I did enjoy the feeling of his legs sliding up and down mine under his desk when we shared, it is much more efficient for me to work on my own. My studies take a shorter time now, giving us more time to spend together. He also bought me a bedside table because he only had one on his side of the bed. Now I have my side of the bed and he has his, though I suspect he sleeps on mine when I'm not there. If that wasn't enough, he also gave me a beautiful heart shaped pendant necklace, telling me that I own his heart so I might as well wear a symbol of it. Needless to say, he got some good lovin' that night.

"Tell me again what kind of dress I will need?" I ask him as soon as we're both cleaned up and dressed, snuggling on the couch in the office.

"Are you nervous?" he asks, looking at me with his kind eyes. He asked me to accompany him to the party celebrating the merger he's been working so hard on since I've known him. I can't help but be glad that his life will be a little less stressful once this is done. But the thought of being around all those professionals with their money and no doubt sophisticated ways, is a little daunting. I'm just a southern girl from a small town who's still in college. Not to mention the fact that Victoria Madden will be there...

"A little bit," I smile. I know he wants me to come but he has told me over and over that I don't have to.

"Sookie, they will all love you...and if they don't— fuck 'em!" he says, which makes me laugh. He rubs his knuckles over my cheek tenderly. "Pam wants to take you dress shopping. I told her no but if that would make you feel better about your choice of dress, then maybe it's a good idea?"

Dress shopping with Pam. Hmm. I don't know if that would make me feel better or worse. "Yeah, okay. That might be fun." Pam and I aren't best friends or anything but we've gotten closer over the weeks. She still scares me a little but she is a great friend to my man.

He cocks his eyebrow at me. "Yeah? She'll be thrilled. Just don't be offended if she hits on you," he says with a big grin.

"Oh."

"You're very pretty, Miss Sookie," he says like a child would compliment a teacher. He laughs at my expression and then pulls me in for a kiss. "Everybody wants you, angel. But I'm the only one who gets you." That last part is definitely not said like a child. It's growled like a beast claiming its mate.

"You make me so hot when you get growly." His look changes and he gives me sex eyes but I need to go back to studying so I tell him his fika is over. He pouts but lets me up and I resume studying while he goes to call Pam.

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ERIC

She's killing me with her fucking knee socks and skirt. I don't know what the fuck she thinks she's doing but she had to have known I would bend her over as soon as possible wearing this. When she came over tonight, I restrained myself long enough to let her read for awhile but I just couldn't wait any longer. And now that I've had her, I just want more of her. I'm sure she'll let me have her again once she studies some more. I'm going to take her from behind again and then watch my cum pour out of her. So. Fucking. Sexy!

"Sookie, don't you want to go to bed?" I ask her when it's after midnight and she's still studying.

"I just want to finish so I can spend time with my favorite people this weekend."

"Pam will appreciate that," I deadpan.

She smiles. "Silly!" she says. "I'll be done in about half an hour, okay? You can go to sleep if you're tired."

"Tired is not what I am," I say, eyeing her legs. Her eyebrow quirks up in a near perfect imitation of me and I chuckle. "I love you," I tell her. "I'm going to wait for you because I'm hoping you'll let me fuck you from behind again."

I smile at the way she blushes. She still blushes when I talk dirty to her. She blushes every time I yell 'fika' and tell her what I want from her. It makes my dick twitch now when I see heat creep into her face. It's like a fucking Pavlovian reaction.

"I love you too...And if you are very good until I'm done, I'm sure we can come to an arrangement," she says with a wink.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard," I growl, and smile when I see her face turn pink.

When we wake up in the morning, we get dressed quickly because I'm taking my girls out to breakfast before our date at the symphony. I love Saturdays with my girls. I found out about this family concert thing they have and bought tickets because I know how much Sookie likes music and classical music is kind of our thing. I just hope they don't play Vivaldi or I might pop a boner at the symphony. That might be awkward.

"Are we ready?" I ask as Sookie finishes packing Annika's bag. I told her I would, but she likes to do these things for my princess.

"Yup, let's go eat! Wanna go eat, Anni?" she says, picking her up.

I grab the bag and we head out the door. After breakfast, we head to the symphony. Sookie is so excited.

"I've never been to anything but a high school performance," she says with sparkling eyes.

"Then this should be fun. They let the kids play the instruments beforehand. I'm going to play everything!"

She laughs. "Baby, you're a little big. They aren't going to believe you're a kid."

"Then I'll have to charm them into letting me touch their instruments," I say with a wink.

"You can make anything sound dirty," she says.

"It's a rare gift."

"Your daddy's a pervert, Anni," she says to my baby and I pretend to be hurt. She, of course, kisses me better and I hold her to my lips until someone clears their throat and pointedly steps around us into Symphony Hall. We part, Sookie blushing and my dick twitching, and finish walking up the steps into the building.

It's busy. There are families everywhere and we are directed into a large room with every kind of instrument I can imagine. The 'instrument playground' as they call it, creates a cacophony of noise and it partially unnerves me. It's just so loud and chaotic. I don't know how I'm going to stand this for long.

"Wow! Look at all the instruments, Annika!" says Sookie with a big smile and wide eyes. "Eric, what do you want to do first?"

"Get a drink?" I say and then regret it when she scowls at me. Having been on the receiving end of many many scowls in my life, I can honestly say that her disappointment in me makes me feel worse than anything else. I feel instantly bad about myself and rush to make it up to her. "I'm just kidding. What do you want to do?"

She gives me a soft smile and runs her hand down the middle of my chest. "It's loud, huh? Maybe we'll just stay a little while. I'm sure Annika doesn't want to be around all this noise for too long."

Because Annika has an absolutely delighted look on her face, and she's looking around excitedly, I know what Sookie said is for my benefit. I love her so much and she is way too good for me. What kind of a dad am I if I can't spend an hour in a room full of children? Sighing, I tell Sookie that Anni looks happy so I am happy too.

She pats my arm and kisses my cheek and whispers in my ear, "You're the best, darlin'."

I love the way she calls me 'darlin' with no 'g.' When her Southern comes out, it's so fucking sexy.

Annika and Sookie play with a lot of the instruments while I stand back and snap pictures of them together. They are the pure delight in my life and I don't have nearly enough pictures of them. With about thirty minutes until the performance is set to start, Annika does seem upset with the noise so we take her outside to enjoy some quiet. We sit on the steps of Symphony Hall and Annika watches the people and cars and Sookie leans her head on my shoulder.

"You didn't like that, did you?" Sookie says, catching me off guard.

"No," I sigh. "I didn't think it would be so chaotic." There were so many people, so many kids running around, so many long lines just to play some drums or the tuba.

"Yeah, it's something to get used to. It's okay if you don't enjoy everything your kid does. You took us and we had fun. You're a good daddy for that, Eric."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I love you, Sookie. I'm sorry this isn't a proper date. I would like to take you out on a real date. Just the two of us. Would you like that?"

"Well, we're going to your party next weekend, right? That will be nice."

"No it won't. That's work. I have to act a certain way. I won't get to relax and just enjoy your company."

"Can I plan something for us? You tell me when and I'll take care of everything."

She wants to plan a date for us? She is so perfect. "I would love that, angel. Thanks."

"Eric...can I ask you something? You can feel free to say no. I don't want you to feel any pressure...but my Spring break is coming up at the end of the month and I wanted to go home to Bon Temps...with you."

I turn to look at her quickly. "With me?"

"With you. Do you want to come?"

"And meet your grandmother and your brother?"

"Yup."

"Will they want me there?" Why is my heart hammering like I just ran a marathon? It's just her family. This is fucking terrifying, though.

She takes my hand that's not on Annika and smiles warmly at me. "Of course they will! Gran has been wanting to meet you for weeks. Jason...well, Jason means well. He'll be nice to you. He's a good guy."

I return her smile. "Okay," I say, feeling slightly nauseous that I'll be meeting Sookie's family in three weeks. I have the sudden wish that she could meet my family but that's not possible.

"What's the matter, baby?" she says, lifting my face. I didn't realize I was looking at the ground.

"Nothing. Just nervous, I guess," I say, trying to smile.

"They will love you," she says with her bright smile and then she reaches to tickle Annika. "They will love you too, sweet girl!"

Annika laughs and reaches for Sookie. "Kie!" she says loudly, and we all smile.

By the time the concert is over, we are all starving so we head home. Annika got a small nap in on my shoulder but she only slept for about twenty minutes so I know we need to get some lunch in her so she can sleep for the afternoon. I ask Sookie to sit in the backseat of my car to keep Annika awake so she will eat once we get home. Otherwise, she'll go to sleep hungry and wake up too soon.

"Oh, I wouldn't have thought of that," she says, "Good idea!" It makes me a little proud of myself because Sookie is always the one with the good parenting ideas.

After lunch, we watch a movie while Annika sleeps. Well, we start a movie...can't say we actually watch it. Sookie falls asleep on my chest after she puts her clothes back on and I carry her up to bed to snuggle next to her and hopefully catch a nap myself.

Sookie and I cook dinner together like we do every weekend night and we work together just as well as we always do. I love being with her in the kitchen. It makes me think of the first night when she flirted so hard with me and I finally told her that I wanted her. I knew something good was starting that night but I never could have imagined how much of a balm for my life Sookie has been. I knew my feelings for her were already strong but I didn't realize she would fix my heart because I truly didn't realize how it was broken. Her love has been the thing missing from my life...for my whole life basically. Complete love that doesn't hurt me, doesn't make me feel worthless, doesn't want only material things. Love that really knows me, understands me, and forgives me my faults. That cheesy saying, 'you complete me,' has never felt so apropos. It's true in our case. She is the missing part of me that I never knew was necessary to my happiness.

"I love you, angel," I say, walking up behind Sookie where she's mashing potatoes. I slip my arms around her and press my body to hers, dropping my face into her neck. "Thank you for loving me back," I whisper into her hair. I love the smell of her hair and the warmth of her body.

"Baby," she whispers to me, turning to embrace me back. Sometimes that's all she says to me—that name—and it's filled with so much love that it feels like a caress of her hand instead of a mere word.

We stand hugging until the food is done and then we all eat together. Sookie and I kneel at either end of the tub while Anni takes a bath and then I dress her and Sookie reads her a story. The story is new—Sookie's suggestion—and they both love it.

Once Annika is asleep, Sookie lets me make love to her so I lay her down on my bed and make it slow and gentle for her. I kiss her all over until she gets impatient for more and then I make sure she has two good orgasms before mine.

"Holy crap, Eric," she pants when we finish, "You are so good at that! You know everything

I like!"

"Well, when you let me make love to you, I want it to be good for you."

"Hmm," she says, her brow furrowing, "I don't really like the way you say that. I 'let you' make love to me or 'let you' fuck me. It sounds like I don't want it too. Believe me darlin', I want to be with you just as much as you want to be with me."

I just look at her. I don't really understand.

"Was it that hard with Sophie?" she says, petting my cheek where I lie at her side. "Did she make you feel unwanted?" Her words are said gently but they might as well be knives for how they make me feel.

"Can we not talk about that bitch when we're naked?" I say, trying to keep my irritation from slipping into my tone. I feel sucker punched. I was so happy two minutes ago and now my chest is tight with memories of Sophie's rejection. She almost constantly rejected me and like an abused puppy, whenever she let me near her, I wanted so desperately to make her happy despite her harshness. I was such a fool.

Sookie lays her chest on mine so she can look at my face and I realize I rolled away onto my back. I open my eyes and Sookie smiles at me. "I'm sorry for bringing her up. I'll make you forget her," she says as her hand moves down my body.

"No, stop. Let's just go to sleep."

She starts to get out of bed and I panic slightly that she doesn't want to lie next to me because I upset her.

"I'm just getting my pajamas on," she says, "It's okay. Are you okay?"

"Yes." I get up with her to brush my teeth and when we're both ready, we get back into bed. Sookie is used to me sleeping naked by now. She jokes that I would do everything naked if it was socially acceptable. She's probably right.

Once the lights are out, we lie wrapped in each other's arms, her cheek over my heart.

"Sophie didn't want me," I say into the darkness. Sometimes talking is easier in the dark. The first time I told her about Sophie was in the dark. Sookie stays quiet, which I'm grateful for. "I mean, she barely let me touch her by the end of our relationship. I think that's why I say it like that. You let me near you. I don't feel like you're just tolerating my presence. You don't make me feel like I'm just in your way."

Sookie squeezes me tighter and kisses my bare chest. "I love you, baby. Sophie was stupid to let you go."

"I was stupid. I was such a fucking fool." I can feel my heart beating hard and fast and Sookie can too since her face is right over it. She sits up and strokes my face soothingly and I sigh and lean into her touch.

"You were not a fool. You were in love. You trusted her and she betrayed you, Eric. She wasn't worthy of you and your big heart. She took advantage of your sweet nature."

Ha. "I'm not sweet, Sookie. Did you forget all the times I was an asshole to you? I'm not sweet." I fucking hate the word sweet. Every time I hear that word, I hear it in Sophie's voice—in her fucking baby voice when she would tell me I was sweet because I gave her something she wanted. I don't want to be sweet. I want to be strong.

"You are sweet," she says and my body tenses because I don't want to think about this anymore. "Done talking?" she says after a couple seconds.

"Yes," I sigh, my tension leaving my body with my breath. Sookie lies back down and puts her arms around me. "Thank you," I whisper. She knows me so well. It's been about a month since she told me she wasn't going to push me to talk and she has kept her word, which still surprises me. She is always honest and true.

"Goodnight, honey," she murmurs against my chest.

"Goodnight, angel," I say back, kissing the top of her head.

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SOOKIE

"Pam!" I say for the hundredth time in the same exasperated tone. Maybe dress shopping with Pam was not a good idea. It's making for a very frustrating Sunday afternoon.

"Sookie," she answers back with an eye roll. "He will love this one."

"Of course he will! It's a napkin not a dress! For the hundredth time, I cannot wear something so tight and revealing!"

Sure, I have a little black dress but it pretty much reaches my knees and my boobs are pretty well covered. Nothing like the cleavage showing dresses she likes. We've been shopping for hours now and she just keeps picking out skimpy dresses over and over. It's like she's trying to piss me off. She makes me go into a dressing room with two or three acceptable dresses and then she brings me five more that are basically scraps and tells me I won't know until I try them on.

"Sookie, you have the body to fill out these dresses. I don't understand your attitude." She doesn't. She really doesn't and that's why we are having so many problems. She just does not get that my upbringing and my past forbid me to wear such...slutty dresses.

"I'm not a slut, Pam! I can't wear something so revealing!"

"So if you put this dress on," she says, holding up a tiny midnight blue lacy thing that would barely cover my boobs, "You would become a slut, as you say?"

"Well, of course not. But I would feel like one."

"Like a slut."

I sigh in exasperation. "Yes!"

"And a slut is...? Someone who enjoys sex?"

"Someone who has sex with lots of people."

"And that's bad? Look Sookie, I have to say, I'm surprised by your attitude. You don't want to wear a dress because you won't feel comfortable in it, fine. But because you don't want to look like a 'slut'," she says, using air quotes, "You are dismissing some very nice dresses. We have very different attitudes about sex, I guess. I enjoy it and I don't feel bad about it."

"Pam, do we have to talk about this?" I hiss, looking around to see if anyone might overhear our embarrassing conversation.

"Fine, but I will say this: Just because you are ashamed of sex, does not mean you should be going around labeling other women for their enjoyment of it."

I just look at her, blinking. "I'm not ashamed...fine, Pam. Can we just find a dress?" I am definitely not going to talk to her about my past but I also don't want her to think I'm a judgemental bitch.

"How's Eric?" she asks, effectively changing the subject. "He seems happier now than he was a few weeks ago."

"Yeah, me going back to school was hard on us all but I think everyone is finally used to it. We've gotten into the new routine."

"And you're happy? With him? Things are good?"

"Um, yeah, Pam. Why are you asking?" I have the sudden but fleeting thought that Eric has told her he's not happy or something.

"I'm...I just want to make sure he's not going to get hurt. I can already tell you are nothing like Sophie in regards to his money. But let him pay for the dress, Sookie. He likes to give, and for a long time he let Sophie's betrayal change his generous nature. Let him buy this for you. It will make him happy."

The look in her eye softens my rejection of the idea that he would buy me clothes. She really loves him and just wants his happiness. "Okay. He can pay."

She smiles brilliantly and gives me one of her little hugs. "Great! Now we just have to find the perfect dress."

"Red! His favorite color is red. Can we look for a red dress?" I ask, smiling.

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**Thanks for reading!**

**I set up a wordpress blog, which I will be slowly putting my stories on. I'm afraid of stuff getting pulled from this site. If you want to check it out, it's just my user name at wordpress. Thanks!**


	34. Chapter 34

**The version of this on wordpress has lovely pictures thanks to padore!**

**Alison- just type victoryintrouble...wordpress...com in your browser without the extra dots and that should take you to my homepage. Then look for Northman's Nanny in the menu bar at the top under the picture. If you need more help, let me know. I can't PM you unless you make an account here. I do plan to post the rest of the story here too though.**

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SOOKIE

I ring the doorbell, feeling surprisingly nervous. When Pam invited me to her house so we could get ready for the party together, my initial reaction was to laugh nervously like she was joking. She wasn't. She said it would be fun and that she would help me do my hair and make-up. Since all I ever usually wear is lip gloss and mascara, and my hair's usually in a ponytail, I agreed. I just hope we have fun. It's kind of funny to be her friend. We couldn't be more opposite.

We are completely different people. She's pretty. Like really pretty. She's tall and thin and always dresses impeccably. I don't know much about fashion, I consider myself well dressed when my chucks match my clothes, but she is really well put together. And her shoes! Her shoes are always beautiful. I would kill myself in those shoes. I have no idea how she manages snowy sidewalks with them on. I bet she never walks anywhere.

"Sookie," she says when she opens the door. I blink at her for a second because she looks nothing like I've come to know. She has on yoga pants and a button up men's shirt. Her hair is damp and hanging loose, she's barefoot and she has no make-up on. She is, of course, still beautiful.

"You look...different," I say, and then immediately cringe at my appalling manners. Gran would tan my hide for my rudeness. "Oh! Thank you for having me over, Pam!" I rush to say.

She steps back to let me in, giving me a smirk and raised eyebrow and reminding me of Eric. "You can put the dress and make-up upstairs. Follow me," she says, leading the way to a guest bedroom up the stairs.

She directs me to lay the dress over the bed and put the make-up bag in the attached bathroom.

"Now," she says, with a wicked grin, "Margaritas!"

"What?"

"Sookie, the party will be much better if you relax. We'll just have one each and some apps because you really are not going to want to eat there. Trust me, I've been to enough of these things. It always happens that just as you take a bite of something, some fool comes over to talk to you. And you'll be on Eric's arm so you'll be getting a lot of attention."

I gulp.

"It will be fun, don't worry," she rushes to console me. No doubt my face looks how I'm feeling. Nervous. Like I'm about to throw up and then pass out.

"Eric doesn't seem to think it will be fun," I say.

"That's because he hates these things. Sookie, he is probably the best looking man at any of these parties. And he has this whole brooding thing going for him most of the time. He always has a hard time fending off the ladies. Even with the menacing scowl he wears. That just makes all the women think _they_ will be the one to make him better."

"Oh." Isn't that what I think, too?

She takes my hand, which startles me because it's one of the most overtly friendly things she's ever done. "_You're_ the one, Sookie," she says with a small smile, looking into my eyes.

I take in a small gasp of breath at the look on her face. If I didn't know Pam preferred my parts to Eric's, I might be freaking out that she wanted him. There is that much love on her face.

"Am I?" I breathe.

"Sookie, he is happier than I've ever seen him. He smiles now as his default expression. He whistles for fuck's sake. You know I've worked with him for a long time...when he was with her..."

I look sharply at her. I never thought of that. The fact that Pam must have known Sophie.

"You knew her?" I question, my voice wavering ever so slightly. I don't know why I would be intimidated my Sophie's memory.

"That fucking bitch?" she says, and I smile. Yes, of course.

"Was she ever good to him?"

"Was he ever happy? No. Did he think he was? Did he try desperately to be? Yes, sadly. Once she got her hooks in him, he was a goner."

"Pam, why was he with her? He is so beautiful. Why did he end up with her?"

"They are the perfect match," she says and I stiffen. "On paper. And I suppose...he was lonely. And he was mourning the loss of his brother."

"Sander's not dead." At least I don't think he is.

"No. But Eric finally had to cut ties with him around the time he met Sophie. It was just too hard for him. So he was vulnerable. He loves his brother and he was...a mess."

"I hate her," I say, and the venom in my voice surprises me. I wouldn't trust myself around her. I want to kill her. He was, no doubt, broken when she claimed him and she just broke him further.

"Join the club," says Pam. She gets lost for a brief second, probably in a memory of Sophie, and then she smiles brightly and starts to walk out of the room. "Let's go eat!"

I follow her back down the stairs and into her kitchen where she has a surprisingly broad array of appetizers laid out all over her counters. I raise my eyebrows at her and she grins.

"Expecting a small army?"

"I wanted a little bit of everything," she shrugs. "Variety—the spice of life," she says with a flirtatious wink. It's the first time I've ever gotten a vibe from her like she might want to pick me up. It's an interesting feeling, that's for sure.

"Well, um, how about that margarita," I say, making my way over to the pitcher on the counter. There is enough for many more than two so I promise myself to stop at one. I do not want to be drunk around Eric's business associates.

Pam hands me a plate and I fill it up with tiny quiche and spanakopita, felafel, and the cutest samosas I've ever seen. I take some fruit and a couple carrot sticks just to round out my meal.

"Do you know what those are?" Pam asks, waving her hand over my plate. I know she thinks I'm some kind of Southern bumpkin but MIT has enough international students that my palate has been suitably expanded from fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Though, I wouldn't ever turn those down!

"Yes, Pam," I say sweetly. "I've lived here for long enough that I no longer eat only chicken fried steak and grits," I say, playing up my accent and batting my eyelashes.

"I like you, Tinkerbelle," she says before she starts to fill her own plate.

"Tinkerbelle?" I ask.

"You're small and feisty—Tinkerbelle," she says by way of explanation. Okay. I just hope that nickname doesn't stick but it's a hell of a lot better than what some people came up with growing up.

We have about an hour until we need to start getting ready so we watch some tv while we eat our food. By the time we're done eating, we are both loosened up and having a great time.

"Tell me you didn't do that!" I gasp, when Pam tells me a story from her and Eric's younger days. Apparently they used to go looking for women together.

"I did! And the guy took one look at Eric and ran out of there like he'd seen a murder!" She's laughing so hard. "Hey, come on! I told him I wasn't interested and he didn't get it. Telling him he could have me only if my boyfriend got a turn with him was gentle compared to what I wanted to do!"

"So that was Eric's idea?" Why am I not surprised?

"Yup! He came sauntering up and put his arm around me. He was like, 'did you find one that was game?' and then he looked right at the poor guy and said with no hint of humor, 'how's your gag reflex?' You should have seen his face!"

"Oh my god!" I laugh. I would have loved to see that.

Pam looks at the time and declares that we need to get ready for the party so we bring our plates and empty glasses to the kitchen and head upstairs.

Forty-five minutes later we emerge from Pam's room, dressed, polished, styled, and made up. We both look beautiful.

Pam is wearing a deep purple one-shouldered floor length gown with a long slit to show off her legs. Her heels are black Lob-somethings. She told me but I can't remember. I just know they are designer and they are expensive. Her nails were professionally done and they are dramatic just like her. Her make-up is striking and gives her an air of danger, which, honestly, she sort of gives off all by herself.

My dress is red, of course, with a V in the front and a deeper V in the back. It has a mermaid silhouette that makes it a little hard to walk in but I will trade beauty for comfort tonight. My black extremely high heels are not comfortable, but they sure are pretty! Pam painted my nails to match my dress and did my make-up. She gave me 'smoky eyes.' I actually gasped when I looked in the mirror. I'm wearing much more than I usually do but I can't argue with the results.

I had to get matching undergarments because I had nothing remotely suitable. Pam was thrilled with that idea and she made me get a few more pairs of panties in case mine were 'damaged.'

"Eric is going to burst out of his pants when he sees you," she says, which makes me blush furiously. I don't want to talk about Eric being aroused with Pam. "What? I've seen it, Sookie. I may not much like what they are attached to, but even I can appreciate a beautiful cock when I see one."

"Oh my god, Pam. TMI!" I say before curiosity gets the better of me. "Okay, tell me the story of that!"

"Well, we were drunk together a lot and your boyfriend likes to sleep in the buff...and I saw him like that in the morning..." she trails off.

"Oh! And I bet he didn't even care, did he?" The man has no body shame. If only.

"Not a whit," she laughs.

And that's how Eric finds us—laughing at the top of the stairs. Apparently he just walks right into Pam's house. I instantly sober when he stares up at me. I can't look away from the fire in his eyes.

Pam mumbles something but I'm too distracted by the tuxedoed god in front of me to know what she said. I make my way slowly down the stairs and he makes his way up and we meet on the landing in the middle.

"Hi," I breathe.

"Hi," he says back. He reaches out and runs his finger along the deep V of my dress, skimming the tops of my breasts and making me shiver. Goosebumps break out all over my body. "You're divine," he whispers. I've seen this look in his eyes before—equal parts love and lust—but it's never been so intense. And that's saying a lot because Eric Northman is nothing if not intense.

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ERIC

She is utterly radiant. She's in red, my favorite color, and it looks magnificent against her golden skin.

As she starts to walk towards me, I am drawn to her and I walk too.

"Don't ruin your make-up," mutters Pam and my eyes briefly find hers. She smiles and I do too but my eyes are drawn immediately back to Sookie.

"You look edible," she says after we greet each other with breathy hellos. She brushes her hand over my cock and I fucking whimper. I got hard the instant I saw her.

"Stop, unless you want me to ruin your dress," I say, looking into her eyes. She looks feral and it turns. me. on.

"Come with me," she says and she's tugging my hand as she goes back up the stairs and into a bedroom. I see the clothes she was wearing when she left this morning so this must be where she got dressed. I have no idea what we are doing in here. Surely she doesn't want me to fuck her in her dress...not that I'm opposed to that idea.

"Sit down and unzip," she says, pushing me down onto the bed. I bounce onto the mattress and just look at her. She has never been so...assertive. I _like_. She unzips her own dress and lets it pool onto the floor before she picks it up and hangs it over the desk chair in this room.

"Oh my _god_, Sookie," I growl. Oh, she's trying to kill me. Holy fucking shit she's going to fucking kill me!

"You like?" she purrs, turning slowly in a circle. She's wearing a red lacy corset thing and panties with black fucking thigh high stockings and garters. "Close your mouth, sugar," she drawls. Now, I know she knows what stockings do to me but I don't know if she understands how crazy I am for her Southern accent. Things are happening in my body that I am no longer in control of.

She winks and when she turns and I get the back view, I am up off the bed before my brain registers that I've moved and my hands are now all over her bare ass. Her panties are basically non-existent from the back. Thong. Good. _So_ good. Mmm.

I've gone stupid over her so I put something else in my mouth besides words. Her lips taste like candy and I'm suddenly a sugar fiend. My chest vibrates with my need to consume her. I want to swallow her whole.

She puts her hand in the center of my chest and pushes, making me step back. I'm panting, my chest is heaving as I look at her face. Her eyes mirror the desire in mine. Fuck. Why can't I have her?

"Sit," she orders, pulling my hands from her breasts where they've found purchase. Huh, my brain didn't register that either. When she cocks her eyebrow at me, I growl at her in frustration but she holds her ground.

Reluctantly, I sit. She smiles. She looks wicked.

"Unzip," she says again.

I unzip and in a flash, she kneels in front of me. She reaches into my pants and pulls out my cock and I sit breathlessly waiting for what she will do. I've never seen her like this.

After a few forceful strokes that have my hips coming up off the bed, she leans down and devours me, ripping a strangled moan from my lips. _Holy_ fuck!

"Careful," I pant when I can speak again, "I think you might kill me."

She pulls her mouth off of my glistening cock and looks me square in the face. "If I kill you, I can't have your cock anymore, so trust me darlin', you'll live." She winks and then dives back down onto my cock, taking me deeper than she ever has before. I don't know what the fuck Pam did to her but I fucking like it!

She is slurping my cock like it's her favorite treat. Her hot, soft tongue has my stomach and my balls tight within seconds and I am instantly on edge. She bobs her head up and down quickly over me, twisting with her hand at the base of my cock.

"Jesus," I breathe when the tip of her tongue pushes into my slit, trying to lick up all my precum. She meets my eyes with hers and winks at me and it makes me groan because that look goes straight to my balls. They are so fucking tight, when I cum I really think I might die.

She snakes her hand into my pants, still bobbing her head and swirling her tongue, and reaches under my sac to press on that spot that makes every muscle in my body tense. Her other fingers caress my ass cheek lightly and I'm overwhelmed with everything I am feeling. I feel that exquisite build up but this one is like a tidal wave moving out from my groin. I am about to cum—hard.

"Oh, fuck! Sookie, fuck! Fuck!" I say as I seize and shudder and shoot jets of cum down her throat. Her tongue darts out of her mouth to lick her swollen lips and it makes me convulse with an aftershock that has my dick throbbing painfully. I gasp and fall back onto the bed, arching my back at the sensation.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you, baby?" Sookie says. That sounds more like her than the dominatrix that invaded her body for fifteen minutes.

"Fine," I pant, "_Fuck_."

"You said that already," she sasses, and I growl.

"If we didn't need to leave, you'd be getting a payback for that."

Her eyes sparkle. "Oh yeah? Bring it."

I hold her gaze with mine until her breath hitches. "Be careful what you ask for," I say darkly. I chuckle when she bites her lip. Standing up, I walk up to her and lean down to trail light kisses from her neck to just under her ear. She moans softly and sags into me. "Get dressed," I whisper before I swat her delicious ass and take a step back.

She gasps and her eyes close briefly but then she moves to get her dress and put it on.

Once her dress is on, I move to stand in front of her. "I got you something," I murmur, tracing my fingers along the chain of her necklace.

"Eric, you already got me so much," she protests.

"Shh," I say, with my mouth next to hers, "Let me give it to you." I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out a silver bracelet with a small dangling heart that matches the necklace I bought her. I hold it to her wrist, which is so much smaller than mine, and clasp it. It takes me a couple tries because my fingers are not dainty like the bracelet and my hands might be a little shaky still from previous activities.

"Oh, Eric! It's beautiful," she breathes, "Thank you!"

"It's nothing."

She holds my face in both her hands and looks into my eyes. "Thank you," she says again.

"You're welcome," I answer as her lips come close to mine.

When we emerge from the bedroom, Pam is nowhere to be found. I know she arranged her own transportation to the party but I feel a little guilty that I didn't even greet her properly. She's my best friend and I pretty much ignored her for Sookie. I will have to apologize when I see her.

"Shall we?" I ask Sookie, holding out my arm. She takes it and I escort her to my waiting car. Pam lives in the suburbs so we have about thirty minutes to talk as we drive to the waterfront hotel where the party is located.

"You are so beautiful, Eric," Sookie says as soon as we start driving.

I laugh. "Shouldn't I be saying that about you?"

"I think you're prettier than me," she laughs.

"That's not possible," I say, taking her hand and bringing it to my lips.

"Well...maybe not," she says with a laugh, squeezing my hand.

It's quiet for a while and it's like I can feel Sookie's mood shift. She is nervous. Frankly, so am I, though I won't tell her that. I'm worried about Victoria Madden. She has left me alone for the better part of a month but she likes to drink at these things. And drunk Victoria Madden is a whole lotta trouble.

"What's wrong, angel? Are you nervous?" I ask. When she squeaks in affirmation, it makes me want to smile but I don't. I love her noises.

She takes a deep breath and then all her fears for the evening come tumbling out. "What if I make a fool of myself? What if someone hits on you? What if Victoria Madden is evil to me?"

"You won't make a fool of yourself because you are the kindest, most sincere person I know and people always love you. If someone hits on me, I will just tell them I am at the party with the most alluring woman in the world and I only have eyes for her. And if Victoria Madden so much as looks at you the wrong way, she will answer to me and I will spill her secrets."

Sookie is quiet as she digests everything I said to her and then she turns to me and puts her hand on my hand. "That's why I love you so much. You make me feel perfect. You fill me with confidence. You continually take all my doubts away and you make me feel protected."

_I_ do all those things for her?

"I love you, Sookie. I love you so goddamn much. My heart feels like it will burst when I think of how much you mean to me."

She sniffs. "And you say the most beautiful things to me," she says quietly, searching in her little purse for something. She takes out a tissue and dabs her eyes like I've seen women do when they are trying to protect their make-up.

"Pam said not to mess up your make-up so please don't cry," I say gently.

She laughs. "Is that what she said?"

The rest of the car ride involves happy conversation. Sookie tells me what she and Pam talked about and I can't help but laugh along with her as she recounts some of my best memories from long ago. I'd like to think I am no longer that boy I was back then but in reality, he is probably still in there somewhere. Sookie sure does bring out the fun side of him. I just need to keep the rest of him in check.

"We're here," I say, as I pull up to the valet. As soon as I hand my keys off, I scramble to help Sookie out of the car before one of these goons in the green valet vests beats me to it. And by the way they all eye Sookie like she's a side of beef and they have been force fed tofu all their lives, I'm glad I got to her first.

Sookie notices that they are all staring at her and gives them a small nervous smile. The noise low in my throat that I make causes her head to snap around. Damn, I don't know where that came from but I want to bare my teeth at them like a rabid beast. _Mine_.

"Eric, try not to kill anyone tonight," she whispers to me, rubbing my arm to soothe me.

I fix my face, which looks, no doubt, murderous, and school my features into careful pleasant blankness. "I think knowing what's under that dress will have me on edge all night, Sookie. But I will try not to murder anyone," I murmur into her ear, kissing her cheek.

"Good. And if you need me to help you relax again, just let me know," she whispers into my ear, causing me to shiver and stand dumb while she walks ahead of me. As much as her words excite me because I was just on the receiving end of her relaxation technique and—_whoa_, I don't like the way Sookie offers me sex to soothe me when I'm upset. She's done it a few times and I never take her up on it. I will have to talk to her about it...maybe. Am I just being stupid? I don't know.

I hurry to catch up with Sookie and when I put my hand on the warm skin of her back, I would swear I had just rubbed my shoes all over some carpet, there is that much of a spark when I touch her. I hear her small gasp and know she felt it too. I'm going to have such a hard time keeping my hands to myself tonight and keeping my dick in check. Especially if she wants to dance.

As soon as we walk into the room, Sookie squeals quietly and I chuckle beside her. It really is a beautiful place with an equally beautiful view of both the Boston harbor and skyline. But then, who should approach but public enemy number one. Nah, he's a good guy. He's just a little too much like me, or like the old me.

"Eric," he says, clapping me on the back. "Who is your gorgeous date tonight?" He is practically leering at her and I, again, want to bare my teeth and growl _mine_!

Instead, I smile politely. "This is my girlfriend, Sookie Stackhouse. Sookie, this is another partner at the firm, Alcide Herveaux."

"Pleased to meet you," she says, sticking out her hand. If he kisses it, I will murder him. Lucky for him, he just shakes it. Slowly. Damnit.

"Likewise," he purrs. He ignores the look I throw at him—the look that says back the fuck off—and opens his mouth again. "Save a dance for me, cher," he says with a wink.

"Oh, um," she stammers, glancing briefly at me, nervously.

"Alcide! You backwoods grizzly bear," says Pam, swooping in to the rescue yet again, "Leave that poor girl alone and come cut a rug with me." She winks at me as she's dragging him away and Sookie laughs at the expression on Alcide's face. Pam scares _everybody_. I'm glad she's on my side.

"Is he an asshole?" says Sookie as soon as he's gone.

"No. He's a good guy. We used to hang out. He's just a little too much like me only he hasn't settled down."

"He reminds me of home. His accent." She sounds wistful. I know she misses home.

"Oh yeah, he's from Shreveport. Is that close to Bon Temps?"

"Pretty close. Do you want me to stay away from him? Because I would love to talk to him if that's okay."

Shit. I must really be giving off a vibe of how possessive I'm feeling. I don't own Sookie and she's free to talk to whoever she wants and I hate that she thinks she can't.

"I'm sorry, angel. Please talk to whoever you would like. Don't mind me. I am feeling jealous tonight. You just look so beautiful I don't want anyone else to look at you but me."

She cups my face and runs her thumb along my cheek under my eye. "Baby," she whispers and I melt a little, "They can look at me but I only have eyes for you, darlin'."

My eyes dart to her mouth when she licks her lips and I am overwhelmed with the urgent need to kiss her. I slide the hand that was on her arm up to the back of her neck and slip my fingers into her hair. I tilt my head and just as I'm about to bring my lips down to meet hers, someone clears his throat loudly behind me. Sookie looks at me wide-eyed when a low growl tumbles from my mouth. I straighten up, paste on a smile, and turn around to see who I will need to keep from throttling. Shit.

"Northman. Looks like you are enjoying yourself. I'm happy to see it," he says with a fatherly twinkle in his eye. My boss.

"Desmond, yes, thank you. I am enjoying myself immensely. May I introduce you to my girlfriend, Sookie Stackhouse? Sookie, this is Mr. Desmond Cataliades, my boss."

Sookie sort of jumps when I say he's my boss. She sticks out her hand and practically gushes at the man. "Oh, it's very nice to meet you, sir. This is such a wonderful party! Everything looks so beautiful!"

He chuckles at her enthusiasm. "Nothing rivals you, my dear. You are a vision. Enjoy your night," he says and then he's gone. Man of relatively few words. She got more than I usually do in a week.

"Can I get you some champagne?" I ask, as I see someone coming around with glasses.

"Sure," she says.

I pick two glasses off the tray as it's presented to me and turn to give one to Sookie.

Since we haven't moved very far from the entrance, I take her hand and walk further into the party. We are greeted by various people and Sookie is always polite and the other person is always enamored with her. I can tell. The men want to be with her and the women want to be her friend. I always knew she drew people in but watching it in action over and over is something else. My pride swells knowing she is mine. I will never give her up. _God_, she's beautiful.

"What?" she says, catching my eye.

"What?"

"You're looking at me funny."

"Am I? I'm just thinking how entirely captivating you are...and how beautiful."

"You are way too good to me," she says, kissing me softly.

"That's impossible. I will never be good enough for you," I murmur against her lips.

She pulls back and stares at me, her eyebrows quirking down for a fraction of a second. She looks like she wants to say something but then from over her shoulder, I see Victoria Madden making her way into the ballroom. She's on the arm of her husband, Johan, and I don't know if I should feel sorry for him or not. Maybe he's just as bad as she is.

Sookie turns to see who I'm looking at so intently and I point and whisper discretely.

"Oh," is all she says, but she almost deflates, and it pisses me the fuck off. Victoria fucking Madden will not ruin my night or Sookie's happy mood.

"Let's dance," I say, tugging her hand to the dance floor. We put our half empty glasses on the nearest tray.

She smiles up at me when I pull her into my body and my breath hitches at the love on her face. Love for me. That still boggles my mind. She puts one hand on my shoulder and the other in mine and we sway to the music, lost in each other until someone taps me and I reluctantly turn my head to see who interrupted my rapture.

_Victoria fucking Madden._

"Dance with me," she says and she's not even asking. There is no question in her voice and it enrages me that she still thinks I will just do whatever she says. She is so fucking stupid, I would laugh in her face if I wasn't so furious.

"I'm already dancing," I say in a soft but menacing voice. I glance at Sookie and I don't think she's breathing. Her cheeks are flushed and I feel ashamed that I am not able to protect her from this. I just want to get Madden away as quickly and quietly as possible to spare Sookie any further embarrassment.

"Oh yes," she purrs and my lip curls up in disgust at her voice, "Is this the one who has taken you off the market? You must introduce me to the woman capable of capturing your...interest."

I take a deep breath because I am really about to murder this bitch. I know she is implying that Sookie just wants to 'capture' my money.

Surprising me, Sookie steps around me and thrusts her hand out at Victoria. "Sookie Stackhouse. I would say it's a pleasure to meet you but I was taught not to lie. Now, I'm having a good time here dancing with my boyfriend and I would appreciate it if you would move along and leave us alone. Eric has made his feelings towards you quite clear through all of your many attempts to harass him, and frankly it smacks of a disgusting kind of desperation that you still come sniffing around like a bitch in heat. Leave. Now."

Speechless. I am fucking speechless. And fucking hard as steel. Thankfully Sookie is standing in front of me because halfway through her nailing of Victoria's ass, my boss and Mr. DeCastro happened to walk up behind Victoria and heard everything Sookie said. I'm just waiting, a bit excitedly, for Victoria to hang her own noose with her reply.

"Shut up, you fucking cunt," she says and I growl in warning but she ignores me. "How long do you think it will be before Eric drops your demure little hick ass for a real woman who knows how to treat a man?"

I am about to open my mouth and Desmond and DeCastro are about to make their presence known when Sookie shakes her head almost imperceptibly and starts to answer Madden's ridiculous question.

"Well, you surely can't be talking about yourself, Victoria, because from everything I know, you prefer little boys!" Sookie is seething and there must be something wrong with me because I am about to ruin my pants with how turned on I am.

Victoria stands with narrowed eyes but Sookie is not done. "Really, Victoria, your husband wasn't doing it for you, you had to seek out a boy on the side, and you still tried to get into Eric's pants at every opportunity? Have you told his uncle how much you enjoy Andre's company? Maybe he'd like to know."

I know Sookie couldn't have known him, but Peter Threadgill arrived with Victoria's husband, Johan, to join the other two onlookers and they heard her burning accusation. It's now quite a show, although Sookie's voice is quiet enough that nobody else really knows what's happening.

Victoria opens her mouth to say something nasty I'm sure, but Threadgill, who if I had to describe his face, looks like someone who is trying to unsuccessfully dislodge a watermelon from his ass, says from over her right shoulder, "Victoria?"

She turns white and then scarlet red. Her mouth opens and closes as parts of words are projected violently into the air, making her sound very much like a goat. My lips turn up but there is no warmth in my smile. "Yes, Victoria, tell them," I coo, and she finally turns around. All the men who now look back at her, wear equal amounts of rage and disappointment on their faces—except her husband, who looks positively gleeful. I'm not even going to try to figure that one out.

DeCastro is the first to recover his voice. "What. The. _Fuck_, Victoria!" he spits.

That's my cue to leave so I put my arm around Sookie's shoulders and pull her close as I lead her off the dance floor.

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Did you like the take down of Victoria Madden? I must admit, I was nervous trying to think of something realistic in the human world. Too bad Sookie couldn't just stake her into goo. There will be more fun at her expense next chapter and more fun at the party! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reading!


	35. Chapter 35

ERIC

We walk a few steps and then I notice that Sookie's small body is trembling at the same time that her legs weaken and she sags against my frame. Shit! I look at her face and see that she is about to cry.

"No, no, no, Sookie! Angel, you were great! No, please be okay. Fuck. Fuck!" I'm whispering but my voice is no less urgent. I lead Sookie to the small lounge outside of the ballroom and glare at the people on the couches until they leave. I don't give a shit right now. Sookie is breaking down and it's my fault because I brought her here. I need to fix this!

Pam comes out of the ballroom a few seconds later and sits on the couch on the other side of Sookie.

"Chin up, Tink! Why are you crying?"

"Tink?" I ask, but Pam shakes her head at me. Her focus right now is Sookie.

"I just made a huge fool of myself in front of Eric's boss!" she says, her hands gesticulating wildly.

Pam grabs her hands and holds them tightly. "Sookie, look at me," she says and waits for Sookie to comply. "You did not make a fool of yourself. Victoria Madden showed what a fool she is. She had the nerve and the stupidity to approach Eric again? Sookie, she's lucky she didn't get slapped! Don't cry, Tink!"

Sookie smiles at Pam through her tears. "Thanks, Pam. But stop calling me Tink!"

"Not a chance," Pam laughs.

I feel like an observer. The women have worked it out and I'm not necessary. At least Sookie has stopped crying.

"Thanks, Pam," I say.

She winks at me and stands. "Let's go fix your make-up, Tinkerbelle."

Ah, Tinkerbelle. Okay...what?

The women go to the bathroom and come out after a few minutes. Sookie looks so much better and she's even laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"We were just talking about Madden's face. I have never seen anyone turn so many colors!" says Pam.

I stand as Sookie comes up to me and wrap her in my arms, pulling her close. "I'm sorry you were upset. Better now?"

"Better, thanks Eric." She pulls back to look at my face. "Do you think I got you in trouble?" she says, looking upset again.

"No. And you know, if they want to be upset about it, I don't give a fuck."

"Sookie, let's go back and get our party on!" says Pam.

Her excitement is infectious and we are all happier. I pull Pam into a hug and thank her quietly for her help. "You look beautiful," I tell her, holding both of her hands.

"Thanks, Viking," she says and we both laugh. "Remember when I used to call you that?"

"Of course. You sure love the nick names. But you can't call me that now that I cut my hair."

"Did you call him Viking when his hair was long? I told him his long hair reminded me of Vikings, too!"

"That's not why I called him that," Pam laughs.

"It's not?" Sookie and I both ask at the same time.

"It's because you did a lot of exploring with your longship," she says with a serious expression.

Sookie doubles over laughing which is a relief because knowing I've been with a lot of women could upset her. I shoot Pam a look but it doesn't land because I'm laughing too hard to be mad.

Just as we are about to make our way back inside the ballroom, who should happen to come out but the devil herself.

Victoria Madden comes storming out with her husband hot on her heels.

"Shut up, Johan!" she hisses at him. "Just take me home."

"It's not going to be yours for much longer," he says loudly. He obviously doesn't care who hears him.

Victoria makes an exasperated noise and keeps walking. Johan notices us standing there and comes over to us. I start to position myself in front of Sookie because I don't know this guy's intentions. But he smiles widely at us and offers his hand to me.

Shaking my hand, he says excitedly, "Thank you! I know it was not your intention but you have helped me immensely. I've been trying to get rid of that cow for a while now. Our prenup states that in case of infidelity, the spouse who cheated gets nothing from the other and has to relinquish his or her half of all of our joint property. I knew she was cheating but I didn't have any evidence. You can't know how thankful I am to you and your wife for this! I'm just sorry you had to endure her at work. They fired her!" He is laughing gleefully and a little evilly but it's hard not to be excited because of how happy he is.

"You want evidence?" says Pam loudly, cocking her eyebrow.

Victoria starts walking back over to us when she hears this.

"You have something concrete?" says Johan, his voice a conspiratorial whisper.

"Is this concrete enough for you?" she says, handing over a memory stick that she had in her purse. I'm not sure why she happened to have it. "Pictures. Be near a trash can or a toilet when you look. Disgusting."

Victoria huffs and Pam turns angry eyes on her. Victoria shrinks back at the fury on Pam's face. "You fucking bitch!" Pam seethes, "This is what happens when you mess with the people I love. What the fuck did you think was going to happen when you started down this road? Eric is a good man, he's a fucking father you selfish inconsiderate shrew! I hope you get just what you deserve! In fact, I am overjoyed that you will soon be out on your ass at home and at work. You're like a rat, scrounging for scraps along the subway tracks and just like those annoying, ugly fucking things, you are about to be squashed! And if I _ever_ see your fucking rat face again, you. will. regret it!"

After a tense couple seconds when they are just staring at each other, Victoria turns sharply on her heel and silently stalks away. She gets about ten feet away before her quick steps cause her to slip and she goes down on her ass, hard. Everyone just looks at her. I'm sure they are trying just as hard as I am not to laugh. We watch without sound as she gets awkwardly up from the floor and walks slowly away without a glance back.

Johan gives Pam a brilliant wicked smile and grabs her tightly in a hug which makes Pam stiffen and pull his arms off of her. Pam doesn't do hugs from strangers. Hell, Pam doesn't do hugs from friends...except me.

"Thank you so much," he says as he runs to catch up with Victoria and most likely rub his newfound evidence in her face. Good. She fucking deserves it.

As soon as they both are gone, we three look at each other and crack the fuck up. It feels good to laugh now that the situation is over and as we walk into the party, we are all wiping our eyes from our laughter.

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SOOKIE

As we walk back into the ballroom I am so nervous that Eric is going to be in trouble because of me. I know he said he doesn't give a fuck but I know he will be upset and I will hate myself if they reprimand him. Or worse, fire him!

"Hey, it's going to be fine, Sookie," he says, rubbing my back. He must be able to sense my apprehension.

"Thanks, baby. I'm just going to be nervous until I see that everything is alright."

Turns out, I don't have to wait long for that. Eric's boss and the other two men who were there come walking up to us as soon as they see us.

"It's okay," Eric whispers down to me when I stiffen.

"Gentlemen," says Eric in his business voice. He's been using this voice all night when we greet people.

"Eric, Miss Stackhouse," says Mr. Cataliades, "I just wanted to apologize on behalf of all three of us for what has happened, tonight and apparently for the past weeks. Northman, son, I am grieved that you felt it wasn't possible to speak with me about this. I'm sorry I am not more accessible and I will be making some policy changes to reflect this."

Ah, the look on Eric's face is priceless. He is always so hard on himself and to hear his boss take the blame for this, well, I think he doesn't know what to do.

"Uh, Mr. Cat—"

"Desmond," he says.

"Desmond, I'm sure you don't own me an apology," I say, because Eric still hasn't said anything.

"I feel I do. You came to my party, looking beautiful I might add, only to be verbally assaulted by my business associate. I am ashamed that this is your first glimpse into my firm. I would love the chance to make it up to you."

"Well, you can give Eric the last full week in March off so he can come meet my family," I say. Bold, I know, but in my experience when someone wants to make something up to you, they want to make a grand gesture so that they can feel better about themselves. And Eric has been worried about taking a full week off. He was only going to come for a long weekend and was extremely apologetic about it. This will make everyone happy.

Desmond smiles at me and kisses my cheek. "Done. You're not a lawyer by any chance are you?" he says, winking.

"Nope. I just love this guy and want to spend some time with him," I say, linking arms with Eric, who smiles warmly at me.

"Good...good," he says.

One of the other men puts his hand out. "Peter Threadgill. I'm happy this all came to light but I'm sorry for your involvement. I will have to have a talk with my nephew. I don't know what he could be thinking. Eric, are you still in touch with the LeClerqs?

Eric smiles at Mr. Threadgill. "I am not. And I wouldn't waste my time with Andre if I were you. This is just the latest in a long string of stupid stuff he has done."

Mr. Threadgill blinks rapidly at Eric and I can sense the tension between these two. Maybe he knows a different side of Andre because he really seems to like the boy.

"Yes, well..." says Threadgill, trailing off uncomfortably. "Like I said, I am sorry you were put in the middle of this, my dear," he says, addressing me once more.

"Don't worry about it, sir."

DeCastro says much the same thing and tells us that Madden has been fired. Well, his exact words are "Victoria is out on her ass," which makes me want to laugh remembering Pam's matching words. We leave the little group of men with Eric agreeing to meet with his boss on Monday to discuss what happened and how to prevent it in the future. We are both relieved.

"It's all going to be okay," he says, more to himself than me.

I squeeze his hand and smile up at him and he leans down to kiss me.

"Ahem," says a deep voice behind me. Eric smiles before capturing my lips with his. He slides his tongue across my mouth and the gentle insistence of his tongue makes me forget that there is someone behind me. I thread my fingers through the hair at the base of his neck and step closer to him until I can feel his chest against mine. His kiss can make me forget the whole world.

The click clacking of Pam's heels stopping behind me, makes Eric release my lips and stand back from me. His eyes are sparking as he smiles at me and then at our visitors.

"I get it, Northman," says Alcide, "She's yours."

"Alcide," says Eric, "You have it wrong, my friend. I am hers."

"Oh, Eric," I sigh, practically melting on the spot.

Pam makes a gagging noise which makes everyone laugh and then she tells Alcide to dance with me while she steals Eric. No problem. I wanted to talk to Alcide anyway.

"You are stunning," says Alcide once we are on the dance floor.

"Thank you. You look pretty dapper in that tux. So Eric tells me you're from Shreveport. That's right around the corner from Bon Temps where I grew up."

"No kidding? I knew I heard a Louisiana accent! Who's your family? Maybe I know them."

"The Stackhouses. I have a brother, Jason, who works on the Parish road crew and my gran is Adele Stackhouse."

"Hmm, no, I don't think I know them. But I don't get home as often as I'd like."

"I'm dragging Eric home with me in a couple weeks."

Alcide tips back his head and laughs, which surprises me.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing. I just can't see that Swedish bastard in the small town heat of Bon Temps."

"I know it's nothing like Boston or Sweden but it has it's charms. Eric wants to come." Doesn't he?

"I'm sorry, cher, I didn't mean to offend you. I think you know a very different Eric than I do."

"Maybe you should get to know him again. I don't know exactly what he was like before, but he still likes to have fun. You guys should go hang out." I know I maybe shouldn't be making man dates for Eric but he really does need to hang out with his friends sometimes.

"Believe me, darlin' I ask him. He always refuses. Has since that sweet baby girl came into his life." The way he says that about Eric's baby sounds awfully wistful. Maybe Alcide is more ready to settle down than Eric realizes.

"Well, keep asking and I'll encourage him. I can watch the baby and let him go have fun."

"Eric is a lucky man," he says to me just before the song ends.

"I'm the lucky one," I correct.

Eric and Pam come back over and Pam invites me to dance with her when a fast song comes one. She can move! Sometimes she seems kind of stiff, or she did before I got to know her better, but the girl can dance. It brings back memories of dancing with my good friend, Tara. We are laughing and sweating by the time we make it back to the boys. They both just stare at us, desire painting their faces. Pam surprises the hell out of me when she walks up to Alcide and plants a kiss right on his lips.

"I thought she liked women?" I ask Eric quietly.

"Mostly," he says with a wink.

"But she never wanted you? You never wanted her?"

"There was an attraction. We joked about it, like I said, but we didn't act on it and now the thought is kinda sick. She's like my sister."

"You guys are funny. I wish I had such a good friend up here. You'll meet Tara when we go home and she has been my best friend since childhood. I miss her."

"Maybe you should hang out with Amelia more often? I can give up some time with you so you can go out with friends. I want you to be happy, angel."

"Thank you, darlin'. Maybe I will." How funny is it that we are both trying to get the other to solidify our friendships? God, I love this man!

"Tink!" says Pam, linking her arm in mine.

"Why do you call her that?" asks Eric.

"She's small and feisty. Fitting, right?" she says with a huge smile.

Eric laughs. "Certainly fitting tonight!"

"Ha. Ha," I say with narrowed eyes but I can't keep the smile off my face.

Eric grabs me in a tight hug and whispers in my ear, "You made me so fucking hard when you were putting Madden in her place."

I gasp at his words and I'm sure I am turning red but he just chuckles in my ear. I love the sound of his laughter.

We spend the rest of the night dancing and laughing and drinking champagne. We eat some of the delicious but seriously weird—at least to me—appetizers since nobody seems to be bothering our little group of four.

At the end of the night, I am surprised to see Pam pulling Alcide by the hand out to her waiting car.

I look at Eric with raised eyebrows. "Pam dabbles in dick, as she says. Looks like she will be getting some tonight."

"Oh my gosh!" I laugh.

"So, you ready to go?" Eric asks with his lips at my ear. The timbre of his voice suggests that he has plans for us when we go home. Plans that I'm sure will lead to lots of fun and orgasms.

"Mmm, yes! I am very ready!"

"Good, let's go to the car." He leads me out with his hand on my back, spreading heat though my body. But when we get back to the car, he pops the trunk and I see luggage.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"We're staying here for the night!" he says, sounding like an excited little boy. Oh, he is so sweet.

"We are? Oh, baby, I am so excited!"

He pulls me into a hug and once again whispers in my ear, "I'm going to make you scream tonight and I don't want to have to worry about waking anybody up."

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ERIC

"Are you sure?" she asks, somewhat hesitantly. I have already gotten her out of her dress and myself out of my tux so we are sitting together on the hotel bed in our underwear. Well, mine is underwear. Sookie is in that sinful red corset and thigh highs. I am having a really hard time keeping my hands off of her at the moment but I don't want to just fuck her. We have a whole night together.

"Yes, Sookie. You trust me, right? Let me cover your eyes. It will make things more fun."

"Okay," she agrees so I place my tie over her eyes and secure it at the back of her head. "Can you see?"

"No," she squeaks, turning her head back and forth.

"Excellent!" I say evilly. She smiles and I lean in to her until my lips graze her ear. "Now, let's have some fun." She startles because she is not expecting me to be that close to her. To relax her, I kiss her slowly and when I pull away, she follows me with her mouth seeking mine.

Just then, there is a knock on the door. Great! My room service order is here.

"Thank you...Barry," I say to the delivery kid, reading his name tag. "Just leave the cart here." If he is surprised that I'm in my boxers, he doesn't show it. I'm sure he's used to guests answering for their room service orders in all states of undress.

"What did you get?" Sookie asks from her spot on the bed where I left her.

"You'll see," I say from right in front of her. I was trying to startle her again—I'm evil, what can I say—but she seems to sense where I am in the room.

"Sookie, lie back on the bed, angel." I grab the food and put it on the bedside table so I can reach it. As soon as she lies down, I straddle her waist and get the first dish. "Open your mouth," I tell her but she instead shuts it tighter and makes a humming sound of protest, shaking her head. "Sookie, please open your mouth. You will like what I put in it."

"Is it your dick?" she asks which makes me shake with laughter. She is always such a surprise.

"No, it's not my dick. Though, you do seem to like that... No, it's something sweet and good that I know you love. Open."

She does and I spoon a small amount of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup between her open lips. She smiles.

"Mmm," she says, licking those beautiful red lips. I want to lick them too. So I do.

"Mmm," I echo. "Open again." She opens her mouth with no hesitation this time but I don't put ice cream in her mouth. This time I place a piece of juicy ripe watermelon against her lips and tell her to bite. She told me that watermelon is her favorite fruit and since it's juicy, I will have plenty of opportunity to lick it off her mouth and her neck where the juice will dribble.

And that is just what happens when she bites down. As she chews, I dip my head to lick the drip of red juice that has traveled down her luscious neck. She moans when she feels my tongue sliding along her skin. By the end of the night, I plan for us both to be thoroughly sticky, sweaty, and sated.

I feed her ice cream and watermelon until she has had enough and then I put them away and grab the extra dish of chocolate sauce I asked for. They have brought it in a warmer just like I asked.

"I'm going to take off your clothes, Sookie. Can you stand up if I help you?" She says she can so I help her stand and we work together to get her corset off but leave the panties and garder. It is unbelievably sexy. As I'm standing close to her, she reaches out and palms my erection through my boxers. I hiss as my cock twitches. Sookie puts both hands on my underwear and starts to pull them down. When they are around my ankles, I step out of them and Sookie squeezes me which has my hips thrusting into her. She steps up until my cock is resting between our bodies and rocks her hips to rub me against the soft skin of her stomach.

"Fuck," I breathe. "You always feel so good. But please, angel, I want to take care of you tonight."

Sookie backs up and I guide her to lie on the bed once more. I grab the warm chocolate sauce and the spoon and drip it onto her breasts. She gasps.

"What is that?" she asks.

"My dessert," I murmur as my head descends to lick the top of her breast. I swipe a finger through the chocolate and bring it to her mouth. She sucks on my finger, making me moan and my cock jump.

"Mmm, chocolate. Do I get to put some on you later?"

"Only if you are very good," I say just before I lean down to lick her pink nipple. Once it pebbles, I suck the sweet peak into my mouth and swirl my tongue until I clean all the chocolate off of her skin. Sookie arches into my touch, pushing her breasts up higher and giving me better access. She moans and starts to thread her fingers into my hair but I grab her wrists and pin her hands above her head with one of my hands as I keep licking her skin. I move on to her other breast and pay it the same attention. My hand still restrains Sookie's arms but she has stopped struggling and just keeps moaning as I lick and suck on her skin.

"This is the best dessert I've ever had," I whisper into her ear, licking her ear lobe.

"Eric," she moans. I will never tire of my name from her sighing lips.

I continue dripping chocolate on to her body and licking it off and by the time I have had my fill of chocolate, we are both ready to move on. She is whimpering with need and I want to make a meal of her now. This is where I will pay her back for her antics at the beginning of the evening.

My chest rumbles as I push her knees up and out with my hands on the backs of her thighs. Fuck. She is so fucking wet. "Sookie. My god, Sookie, you're dripping wet. Is this for me?"

She blushes, making her even more beautiful. "Eric," she gasps as I lie on my stomach between her legs and sweep my tongue along her glistening skin. She takes a sharp breath in when I pull her legs to get her even closer to my mouth and fasten my lips around her clit. Fuck it, I need more.

Kneeling on the floor, I pull her by her hips until her ass is on the edge of the bed and her knees are bent over my shoulders. She squeals as her body slides along the sheet. I place an arm across her lower belly as I push a finger into her heat and flick my tongue over her clit. I am relentless with my tongue, bringing her quickly to orgasm and making her body shake with her release. Her legs fall to the sides as her body goes limp but I am not done.

After a very brief rest, I get right back to it and slide my tongue through her folds, stopping at her opening to lick up all her sweet fluid. I suck hard on her clit and she gasps and pants. She squeezes my face with her thighs so I use one arm under her knees to keep them pushed back against her stomach.

"Eric!" she gasps when she realizes I will not let up. She relaxes her body as she gives herself to me again and when I bring her to orgasm this time, her back arches as she throws her head back. She is fucking beautiful. But still, I am not done.

She tries to push my face away so I sit up to look at her. "Sookie, remember what happened at the beginning of the night? When I said you deserved a payback and you told me to bring it? This is me bringing it. Lie back, relax, I'm not done with you."

Sookie blushes but stays silent. I know she likes it when I show her this side of myself but I am always sure not to push her. She smirks at me finally, and lies back like I said.

Mmm, she's mine. My chest rumbles my satisfaction at seeing her spread out before me, mine to devour.

By the time I am done, she has had four orgasms and she is panting and begging me to let her up. I will, but only because I plan to have my cock in her now instead of my tongue. I take off the blindfold because I want to look into her eyes as I make love to her. She blinks rapidly at me, her eyes adjusting to the light, which is really pretty dim. "I love you, angel. Are you okay? Still having fun?" I ask, stroking her face.

"Yes, baby, I always have fun with you." She smiles and it makes me smile too. She is so open to everything I have shown her...well, almost everything.

"Good, because I am far from done," I say as I stand up and crawl on top of her. She scooted back onto the bed so I hover over her. She looks down at my cock and groans so I look too and we watch as a drop of precum falls from my tip onto her belly. Sookie wipes her hand across it and uses it to help her stroke me, spreading the wetness around my cock. I start to thrust my hips without thought but then I realize that I want to be inside her so I gently move her hand and position myself. Her legs come up around my waist as I push into her heat. She digs her nails into my back, she is already close because of her previous orgasms. I love when she scratches and bites me. I thrust quickly but gently into her, trying to maintain my control so I can draw out our lovemaking. I don't want to cum too soon, which is a challenge because I've been ready for a very long time. Once she cums I will let go.

I push in all the way and grind my pelvis on her clit with each stroke and it doesn't take long before her walls are fluttering, massage my cock as she cums. She screams and I move my mouth over hers to swallow her cries until I realize that there is nobody to wake up. I move my mouth and let her be as loud as she wants and she keeps crying out with her release. Towards the end, she bites down on my shoulder eliciting a low growl from my throat. My control snaps and I pull out, flip her over and pull her up onto her knees. I slam back into her and she gasps my name but pushes back onto my cock. She always gives as good as she gets. I could stop moving and she would rock herself back into me but I don't want that now. I grip her hips tightly and pull her back as I thrust into her, slapping our bodies together and making the most satisfying noise known to man. At least I think so.

As we keep slapping together, Sookie keeps moaning louder and louder. At home she is usually only loud at her finish and even then, I can tell she reins it in. But here, now, she is letting loose and her noises are spurring me on. I bring my hand up and smack her ass and her muscles squeeze my cock. She gasps and I groan. I'm hoping she is ready to cum because I can't hold back for much longer. I smack her round ass again and it triggers her orgasm. Her spasming walls pull my orgasm from me and I roar as I shoot into her. Halfway through, I pull out and cum all over her clit and lips because I like the way it looks. I collapse and pull her down to spoon with me as I catch my breath.

"Eric, you got me all sticky," she pants.

"I did," I answer. I push my hand between her legs and then hold my fingers up so she can see my cum coating them. "Everywhere."

She sort of half groans/half laughs as I wipe my hand on the sheet. "You are in love with sex. Everything about it. Nothing is off limits for you."

"Well, you are right that nothing is off limits but it's you who I love. Always."

"I love you too, baby," she says, turning to kiss me softly on the lips and lay her head against my chest. I listen as she falls asleep and then get up and clean everything up and start a bath. I got her dirty and now I will clean her up. Just like always.

**Hey, so I hope you liked this chapter. Some of the reviews correctly predicted a few things that happened here. Well done!**

**I'm sorry this chapter was delayed, I usually do two a week but I did actually do two! I wrote a bonus outtake chapter but you will have to go to wordpress to read it. It's kinky and dirty and definitely too much for ffn. Plus it has some nice visuals to go along with it! This outtake was the brain child of lovely reader padore and I am so happy that she thought of it because it was a blast to write! Here is an excerpt to whet your appetite:**

"This isn't wham bam thank you, ma'am. We're going to take our time. We're going to have more fun than your little mind can fathom and by the time I let you cum for me, you are going to explode."

He swallows audibly and his eyes widen. I smile. He licks his lips.

As I climb onto the bed, his hands find my legs and rub. "If you can't keep your hands where they are supposed to be, I will tie them to the bed. You may touch me only when I tell you. Is that clear?"

He narrows his eyes and I start to get off of him. Only good boys get to play. "It's clear," he says in a hoarse voice. He is really reining himself in. Alphas are so fun to dominate.

"Good boy," I whisper and reward him by running my hand down his chest and stomach to his eager cock. I stroke him through his underwear, making sure the wet fabric slides over his head to give him some friction. His hips buck up and he emits a soft hiss and closes his eyes.

**Want the rest? Head on over to wordpress.**


	36. Chapter 36

ERIC

I wake with a start and look at my ringing phone. I look at the clock and it's only five AM and I can't think of who would be calling me this early since Sookie is right beside me. I say hello and the first uttered "Bror" sends me spinning. I had gotten up from bed to leave the room so I didn't bother Sookie but my knees weaken and I fall to the floor on the side of my bed. "Bror?" he says again because I didn't answer.

"Sander?" I whisper, afraid to hope that I am not dreaming.

"Eric," he says and my heart bursts sending pain throughout my body. I want to throw up but I'm happy so it makes no sense. I want to weep but no tears come. Nothing I'm feeling makes any sense.

"Bror, Jag har saknat dig(brother, I have missed you)," he says.

"Sander." It's still the only thing I can say. I pull myself off the floor and walk out of the bedroom to have a conversation with my brother for the first time in years.

I think I'm in shock because I don't hear Sookie come up to me. I don't know how long I've been sitting here. All of a sudden, she sits next to me and gently takes the phone from my hand. She reaches to stroke my face as I turn my eyes to her.

"Baby, what happened?" she says, looking into my eyes, her face etched with concern.

"Sander," I whisper once I find my voice and she looks grief stricken. "He called me," I choke out.

She smiles, the sadness gone from her face. "Honey, that's great! Is he okay?"

"He's clean, Sookie. He wants to come see me and Annika. He's been clean for a year. He says that when he heard he was going to be an uncle, he decided his life needed to change." My brother wants to be my Annika's uncle. My brother is clean and healthy, not dead in a ditch. My brother is coming to see me!

"Oh, honey, I'm so happy for you," she says, throwing her arms around my neck.

I'm so happy! I want to do something with this feeling but I don't know what so I do something else that makes me so happy. I make love to my girl. Feeling her body around mine is the best kind of bliss and I'm lucky that she seems to sense what I need and gives it to me. She is always happy to give me what I want and I love her all the more for it.

"What about your mom?" Sookie asks gently as we lie together after, caressing each other's skin.

"He talks to her. He, um, sees someone with her. A counselor." I don't know how I feel about that. I will have to think about it some more.

Sookie's eyes light up. "Oh, that is such a good thing!" she says with her hand on my cheek. "That's so good for them!"

"It's part of his program," I say quickly in case she gets any ideas about me going to talk to a shrink. I don't think I could do that.

"Will you tell me about your brother?"

"Can I tell you tonight? I...It's sometimes hard to think about him." I know she's been curious about him for a while but thinking about my little brother brings some really terrible feelings to the surface. I can't do it now when I have the whole day to get through.

As if she wants to save her daddy from his own personal hell, Annika wakes up and starts to cry. She cries now in the morning instead of being content to talk to herself for a while.

"I'll get her," I say and jump up to put my boxers back on.

"Du vill bara att gå upp och gå, eller hur prinsessa?(You just want to get up and walk, don't you princess?)," I ask her little face when I pick her up. She immediately kicks her chubby little legs so I will put her down.

"Dada!" she says.

I kiss her cheek and tell her she has to wait until we get downstairs to walk. This is all she wants to do these days. She walks from the couch to the chair and back again all day. Or from Sookie to me and back if we sit on the floor with our legs open. Considering she will be one in less than two weeks, I shouldn't be surprised but it feels like yesterday that I was up feeding her all night and wrapping her tightly in blankets.

"Din farbror ringde idag. Vill du träffa honom?(Your uncle called today. Do you want to meet him?)," I ask Anni as I change and dress her. I have to practically wrestle her into her clothes because she just wants to get down to practice her new skill.

"Da," she says. Down. She uses this word almost as much as Dada.

That's how I know she still really misses Sookie—she wants to be held by her still for a long time when she comes over. She lays her little head on Sookie's shoulder and then pops up to look at her face, says Sookie's name, and then lays her head down again. She does this over and over and it makes Sookie laugh. Every time, Sookie says 'yeah, it's me' and I melt a little. I love to see my two girls together. It still does funny things to my stomach.

As soon as I finish wrestling the little alligator into her clothes, I bring her down so we can eat breakfast. We have some errands to run today for Annika's birthday party next weekend. We also need to pick up some things for our trip to Bon Temps in two weeks. It will be warm down there and Annika does not have any warm weather clothes in her size. Pam asked if she could take Annika clothes shopping with Sookie but if that happened, I'm afraid of what she would come home with. Does Jimmy Choo make baby shoes? Does Burberry make little dresses? Ugh, I know way too much about fashion thanks to Pam's incessant chatter on the topic. I should _not_ know what Louboutins are.

"Sookie, what do you want for breakfast?" I ask, once we are downstairs. I put Annika on the floor by the couch and she immediately toddles off to find Sookie. They are almost inseparable when we are together. I wonder if Annika will like Sander. He'll be staying here for almost the whole month of April.

Annika is tenacious and she doesn't mind falling as many times as it takes to reach her destination. Sookie says she gets her determination from me. I like that. At least I passed on something good.

"Want to make waffles?" says Sookie, coming from the kitchen and walking straight to Annika. Anni stops walking to lift her arms to Sookie.

"Uh!" she requests and Sookie picks her up.

I'm really fucking proud of all the things she says. I feel like she's probably the smartest baby on the planet. When I tell Sookie that, she pats my arm and smiles big, telling me that I am absolutely right. Now I really have to watch my language. Annika is always listening and I'm sure the next time I drop an f bomb in front of her, she will repeat it back to me. Or worse, to some mom at the music class Haley takes her to. Then they will think I'm a horrible dad and won't want their kid to hang out with my kid for fear of bad influence. When I told this to Sookie, she smiled big and patted me then, too. I think that must just be what she does when she doesn't want to laugh at me. But I don't want the kid from the single dad household to be thought of as a bad influence. Annika will be different enough because she doesn't have a mom. Well, except for Sookie. Sookie is pretty much her mom but not really. She does everything a mom would do except she's not here all the time.

I'm still the single dad raising the little girl on his own. People either pity me or act like I'm this great person when really I'm just doing the best I can. Annika is happy, though, and Haley says her music teacher loves her and thinks she's smart and friendly. So, I am doing something right. A lot right, according to Sookie and I actually kind of believe her. Watching Anni develop into this little person that I took care of and loved and taught, makes me think I kind of know what I'm doing.

"Waffles, Eric?" Sookie asks again.

"Sure, waffles!" I say. Sookie has the best recipe for waffles and then she puts whipped cream and strawberries on top and I eat them while fantasies of where else I could put whipped cream play out in my head. And she wonders why I hum through breakfast. Mmm, whipped cream boobies. Almost as good as the chocolate boobies I had last week.

"Eric, do you think I don't know that you want to squirt whipped cream all over my breasts?" She whispers the word 'breasts' for Annika's sake.

"Whatever do you mean?" Shit, am I that obvious?

"Uh, you look at the can with sex eyes and practically drool while looking at my chest when I put some on your waffles. And then you hum while you eat them. You always hum when you are really happy to be eating something."

"I don't hum when I eat you," I say and then scoot past her quickly to start taking bowls and ingredients out for her. She makes that exasperated noise I hear so often when I'm cheeky with her and follows me into the kitchen after she puts Anni in her high chair.

"Wicked. You are so bad," she says, coming up to kiss me.

"You love it," I whisper back before I grab her hair in my fist and deepen the kiss. I walk her backwards until her back hits the counter and murmur in her ear, "You know, we still haven't christened this kitchen. I would love to squirt whipped cream all over your breasts and lick it off. Then I would move lower and do the same thing."

"Yeah, that sounds like fun. I could squirt some on you too."

"You could do that right now if you want." Annika can't see us from around the corner where she is munching her cheerios.

"Mmm, I could...but I'm making waffles right now," she says as she steps away with an evil smile.

She starts to put the ingredients in the bowls and I walk up behind her and hug her which is pretty much my position when she is cooking. She says it's hard to cook with a 200plus pound barnacle clinging to her but she does it anyway. I'm clingy, what can I say? As I stand behind her with my face in her neck and hair, I keep thinking about my conversation with my brother earlier.

"I still can't believe my brother called me. My brother, Sookie. He's okay!"

She puts her whisk down and turns around to kiss my chin and hug me. "I am so happy for you, Eric. I can't wait to meet him. Does he look like you? Do you have a picture of him?"

"Uh, he kind of looks like me. He's tall but his hair is darker. He looks like Mom." He's lucky in that regard. He doesn't have to look in the mirror and see my father looking back at him.

"And you..."

"I don't," I say.

She kisses me softly as she smoothes her hands over my hair, ears, and jaw, effectively petting my whole head. She does it to soothe me and it works every time. At least I'm aware of how easily my mood can be manipulated. I can also do the same thing to her, which just proves to me how connected we are. I am an expert at taking away her stress when her studies are difficult. She calls me her Swedish stress smasher and says I need a superhero costume with a triple S on it. I assumed she meant because of our sex fikas but she said it was just my presence that makes her happy. That's pretty awesome.

"Well, you're beautiful," she says. I don't know why she always says that. It sounds funny.

"Yeah. Are you ready for the waffle maker? I'll get it heating up."

She looks at me for a second and her eyes see right into my soul I think. "Yes, please," she says, giving me a little smile. I know she holds back what she wants to say to me a lot. I know she wants me to talk more about things that bother me. I'm working on it. Really.

After waffles, which I did not hum through just to prove I am not always so predictable, we get dressed and get in the car because the Swedish bakery where I want to order Anni's cake is about an hour away. I've never taken such a long drive with Sookie and it's nice to just spend the time talking to her. But halfway through our drive, Annika gets crabby because she can't see anything and nobody is talking to her. We have some crazy kid's music on that I'm going to be humming for days but Anni wants someone to talk to.

"Sookie, want to drive and I'll sit in the back with her?"

"Really? You'd let me drive your...whatever this thing is?"

"Tesla," I say chuckling. Sookie is so not into material things, she doesn't even know what I drive.

"Tesla, okay but it's a bit too fancy for me!"

"Well, it's no Corvette."

"Aww, did you have to give up your Corvette?"

"Yes." I know I'm scowling and I know Annika is worth more than a stupid car but I loved that stupid car.

"Well, this car is pretty cool!" I love how she's trying to cheer me up even though she doesn't care at all about either car. "I don't really want to drive it though. I can sit in the back with Anni."

"Will you? Thanks!" I pull over at the next place I can and Sookie crawls into the back seat. I cringe because she is stepping on my pristine leather but then her ass is sticking up and my hands take off toward it.

She makes this weird high pitched yip when I pinch her ass and I nearly spit out the water I just took a sip of. I'm shaking with laughter when I notice that she is not laughing at all. She looks pissed. Shit.

"Sookie, I'm sorry. Are you mad, angel?"

"I'm fine, Eric. Just drive, okay."

"Did I hurt you? I was just playing." Fuck. I am such an asshole. She looks really upset. I get out of the car and go around to open her door and pull her out. As soon as I pull her against my body, I can feel her heart beating wildly in her chest. "Angel, did I hurt you? Please tell me why you're upset. I am so sorry!"

She presses her face into my chest and I pet her hair and drop a kiss onto her head. "I don't want to talk about it," she mumbles into my shirt. At least that's what I think she said.

"Okay, you don't have to but is it...are you mad at me?" There is no way that _I_ can expect her to talk if she doesn't want to when she is so careful not to push me. But I can't stand the thought that she is mad at me.

She looks up into my face and gives me a weak smile. "I'm not mad at you. Can we drive?" she asks in a very small voice. A voice that makes me want to open my coat and wrap it around her body to protect her from whatever is making her so scared. I hold her for another few seconds before I reluctantly let her go and get back into the car. I smile at her in the rearview mirror and she looks away and out the window. I don't know what to do. I don't like this feeling. I can't stand her sadness.

"Eric," she says from over my shoulder, "Speed up, baby. Everyone is passing you."

Oh, shit, she's right. I'm going about 50 when I should be going much faster. "I'm sorry. I'm just...sorry."

"Annika is asleep, do you want me to sit next to you?"

"Please."

She climbs through the seats again and sits down next to me, taking my hand. "I'm fine. Okay?"

I give her a skeptical look and she laughs. That sound, like her touch, soothes the feeling in my chest like I can't breathe. I know I just have to let this go because she doesn't want to talk about it but this fucking sucks. Is this how she feels when I keep her locked out of my feelings? Shit. Not knowing what upset her, not knowing how to help her—it's making my chest ache and my stomach hurt. I can't do the same thing to her. This is the worst feeling. I can't do this to her.

The rest of the drive is pretty much silent. Anni is asleep so I change to a regular music station and Sookie just looks out the window. I keep glancing over at her and she smiles at me when I catch her eye but she seems so far away right now. It's scaring me a little.

Once I park at the bakery, I turn to Sookie and take her hand. "Sookie, I feel...I think I made you sad and I feel like shit. I know you don't want to talk about it and I can respect that, I just...this feeling, like I can't do anything to help you when I love you so fucking much...it's...I just feel like shit, basically." I laugh nervously because I feel really awkward for some reason. I feel like I'm an intruder into her sadness that has nothing to do with me, but that I want to take away nonetheless.

"I'm sorry, Eric—"

"Don't apologize to me, Sookie. This is my fault."

"This isn't your fault. It's just...it just _is_. I'm okay and I can't really get into it right now. Let's just go eat some cake, okay?" She smiles big but her eyes don't crinkle so I know she's not really happy but I will let it go.

I pull Annika in her carseat out of the car because she's still asleep and lug the heavy thing into the bakery.

"It smells like heaven in here!" Sookie laughs.

"Oh my god," I groan, "Let's live here!" This place smells amazing! I want to lick the walls!

"Hi, can I help you?" says the woman behind the counter. She has a Swedish accent so without thinking I dive into Swedish and tell her I need a birthday cake for my daughter. I want a princess cake, which I think Sookie will love.

"Oh, sorry for the Swedish!" I tell Sookie. "I want to order a princess cake for Anni. Do you want to taste one. I see a couple."

"What is it?"

"It is, without a doubt, the best cake on this planet! Sponge cake filled with jam and custard, topped with a bunch of whipped cream and marzipan. It's a Swedish traditional cake. Want a slice?"

"Heck yes!" she says with a big and genuine smile. This is the smile I love and it evaporates my ache just by looking at it.

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**Looks like they both have some things to talk about and now that Eric knows a little of what it's like to be on the other side, hopefully he will try to be more forthcoming with Sookie. But we get Sander! Eric is happy, how about you?**

**Thank you for reading this story and for following and favoriting!**

**Please let me know what you think in a review! Thanks!**


	37. Chapter 37

ERIC

We order Anni's cake and a couple of slices of a nice traditional green princess cake and some coffee and sit in the deli area of the bakery to eat.

"Ohh," Sookie moans when she takes her first bite. My dick immediately springs to life and I shift uncomfortably in my chair. "We're moving to Sweden! Between this and that sinful chocolate cake you made me...yes, Sweden here I come!"

She is so silly but her words make me think that it would be fun to take her to Sweden some day. "I'll take you there if you want. I haven't been back in way too long."

She puts down her fork and takes my hand. "Would you?" she says, smiling warmly.

"I think so. We can visit Sander. He will be moving back there soon." She looks at me with questioning eyes but she doesn't say anything because I told her I couldn't talk about him right away. "He left to go to treatment away from bad influences," I tell her.

She squeezes my hand and goes back to eating. "Hey, look," she says, pointing to the deli menu board, "They have a sandwich called the Stubborn Swede. Are all Swedes as stubborn as you or did they make that especially for you?" She laughs when I furrow my brow and pout.

"Funny, Stackhouse. You're such a comedian. I am not stubborn." I can't help the smile on my face.

"Oh yeah, not at all! What could I be thinking?"

"Kie!" says Annika from her carseat on the floor. She must have just woken up. Sookie picks her up and Anni reaches right for the cake in front of her.

"No no, little one," says Sookie, "You'll get cake next weekend."

Annika pouts—I have no idea where she gets _that_—and reaches for me. "Dada!" she says, with her arms outstretched. When I pick her up, she immediately reaches for my cake but I push it away from her. "Mmm," she says sadly, which is her way of asking for food. "Dada," she says again, looking into my face and basically melting my heart.

I break off a small piece of cake and hand it to her and see Sookie looking at me with a smirk.

"What?" I ask, even though I know.

"Nothing. She's yours, you can do what you want."

"I know I'm wrapped around her finger but look at her! She's too cute to say no to."

We laugh until Sookie mumbles something that sounds like, "Wait until she's 16," and I momentarily freak the fuck out at the thought that Anni will ever be that big.

We finish our cake, and I keep giving Annika little bites because she keeps asking, and then we head out.

We are going to Ikea at Sookie's suggestion. She wants to get Annika's birthday presents there and says I will love their kids' toys. I have studiously avoided Ikea since being in the states but I suppose it can't hurt to see what they have.

I end up loving it. It's a huge crazy place with a bunch of furniture and things that I actually like.

"Sookie, we should come back here after we go to Bon Temps to get stuff for Sander's visit. I need a bed that he can fit in and some furniture to make the office into a room for him."

"That sounds good. Been thinking about it, huh?" she says, squeezing my hand and smiling up at me.

"I can't stop," I say, grinning. I am so fucking happy. I have so much lost time, so many things, to make up for.

When we get to the kid section, I admit, I go a little crazy. Everything is just so adorable and I know my Anni will love it all. Sookie puts her down in the play area and she goes right for the tiny play kitchen so, of course, I have to buy that too. And some cooking things to go with it. She will be a little cook like her daddy.

"Just like Daddy!" laughs Sookie, when Annika bangs all the pots together and then drops them onto the floor.

"Oh, you're so funny," I say, stalking toward her. She squeals quietly when I grab her in my arms and kiss her. But then she puts her hands on the back of my neck and we only break apart because someone needs to get by us down the aisle.

Sookie turns bright red. "Why do I always forget myself when I'm with you?" she whispers.

"I have magic lips," I say.

She walks closer and grazes my dick lightly and it twitches. I'm at half mast after that kiss. "This is pretty magic too, darlin'," she murmurs.

"I know you only like me for my body," I tease as I walk away to scoop up Annika. Well, Annika is not happy at all about me taking her away from the toys and she lets me know—loudly! Everybody looks at me and my screaming kid and I feel like the worst parent in the world. I don't know what the fuck to do.

"Hey hey, little girl," says Sookie, taking the kicking and flailing thing that has invaded my princess's tiny body from me. She hands her the little stuffed deer she seems to have formed an attachment to and Anni immediately calms down and lays her head on Sookie's shoulder. Sookie to the rescue...again. I don't know what I'd do without her.

I take a deep breath and follow them as Sookie walks with her out of the kids' area and towards the restaurant.

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SOOKIE

"Let's get some lunch in her so she can sleep on the way home. Sound good?" I ask. I think this little tantrum thrower is hungry and tired.

"Yes, thank you," says Eric, still looking rather shell shocked.

"Look, baby, they have Swedish meatballs. Think they are anything like you are used to?" I ask as we look at the menu board.

"I don't know. Why don't you get that and I'll try it. I want the gravlax and they have pasta for the little screamer."

"First tantrum?" I ask and he nods. "It will get easier. You'll learn to deal with them and they won't scare you as much." He completely froze back there.

"Everybody stared at me," he whispers. "I don't want that to happen again."

"Trust me, honey. It happens to every parent at one time or another. No one will judge you because your baby screams. Just stay calm and you'll be fine."

"Yeah, but Sookie, this is me you're talking to. You know I don't do calm very well."

"Eric, you're going to be fine. You'll get the hang of it. It's hard not to give in when they get upset." This is something he actually needs to work on. He gives her everything she asks for but I understand why so I don't want to harp on him.

"I like to give her what she wants and I don't want her to be upset. She's never screamed at me before."

"She didn't scream _at_ you...nevermind. You'll figure it out. You're a good dad." He's going to have to figure out what happens on his own. I know he will. Parenting a toddler is a lot different but he's smart and he'll get it soon.

"Thanks. I hope so." The fact that he accepts this compliment now, warms my heart and makes me smile. He is a wonderful father and it's about time he thought so too.

After we finish eating—and Eric ate half my meatballs and got a hot dog and cinnamon roll on the way out—we head home, deciding to go clothes shopping another day. Annika conks right out in the car. She wore herself out playing and screaming. She sure is a determined little one. She's smart and she knows what she wants. I think Eric is in for a rude awakening when his sweet, laid back baby turns into a strong willed toddler. If he can stay calm he will be fine, but I think his tendency to freak out will push him to avoid upsetting her. He'll try to keep her happy by giving in. But since she is not my child, I feel like I need to keep my mouth shut and let him parent the way he wants.

Once home, Eric unloads the car while I bring Annika inside. I lay her in Eric's bed and spoon behind her because I'm suddenly very tired. I woke up a lot earlier than normal because Eric wasn't there when I rolled over seeking his warmth. I went in search of him only to find him staring into space on his office couch. When he first said Sander's name I thought for sure he got some bad news but my fears couldn't be further from the truth. I'm so happy for these two brothers. I know Eric is extremely happy and I am looking forward to meeting Sander. Eric has no pictures of him anywhere, probably because the reminder of what he thought he lost was too painful.

"Oh, good. Family nap," says Eric when he comes upstairs. He takes off his pants and crawls into bed behind me. "I love family naps," he sighs.

I love that he considers me part of his family. "Me too, baby. You were up early. Sleep well," I say, turning my head to kiss him. He scoots closer and puts his arm across me and Annika both. He is out within three minutes and his slow heavy breathing lulls me to sleep soon after.

I wake up because I am being squished between two Northmans. They are like heat seeking missiles and have both moved closer to me in their sleep. Eric has a heavy leg thrown over me and his chest pressed up against my back and Annika is nestled right into my chest. God, I love these two. I lie stroking Anni's baby soft curls and enjoying Eric's warmth at my back for a while until they wake up.

Eric makes us dinner after we play at the little park down the street. It's still cold but the snow has all melted and I hope we won't get anymore. Mid-March could still mean snow for this area and I am so sick of the cold by now. I can't wait to get to Bon Temps in a couple weeks. I miss the warmth but most of all, I miss my friends and family. I know Eric hasn't seen his friends or family in years and I can't even imagine that. I really hope he will take me to Sweden some day because I'm sure it would make him happy and I want to see that.

"This is really good, Eric. Thanks for cooking," I say between bites of poached salmon and cucumber salad.

"No problem. Happy to do it," he answers, shoveling in another huge bite. "It's nice to cook for other people. Now that Anni eats people food and I have you, cooking is fun again."

Hmm, I never thought of that. I enjoy cooking for others too. It's no fun cooking meals for one. "Yeah, I guess a me party is not much fun," I say.

He look at me like I've gone crazy. "A me party?"

"I'm having a me party, a party by myself...? The Muppets...no?"

"No," he says, laughing.

"Oh. Do you like the Muppets? We'll have to get the movie. You should get Netflix or something. Annika might like the kids' movies now."

"I like the Muppets. I don't really think she should be watching tv yet, though."

"Oh, ok. That's fine. She's yours, you get to decide."

"I know...but when you say that, it makes me feel bad. I want to share her with you," he says quickly as pink colors his cheeks. I don't know why he's embarrassed by what he said. I already know that's what he wants.

"I know, Eric. You do. You're good at sharing her. I love this little munchkin," I say, caressing her plump little cheek, "But you get ultimate decision making power since you're her dad and I'm just the girlfriend."

"Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. I want you to give me your input. What you say counts too. You practically live with us and when you're here, you are with her the whole time she's awake. I want her to see you as equal to me...you know what I mean?"

Wow. I don't know what to say. He's practically asking me to be another parent to her.

He looks suddenly upset. "Is that...? Did I fu—mess up?" he asks in a raspy voice.

I smile quickly to reassure him. "No, honey. That's just really sweet. And slightly overwhelming."

"In a bad way?"

"In a good way," I say, reaching for his hand.

"Good," he says, squeezing my hand.

Once dinner is over and Annika is asleep, I am anxious for Eric to tell me about his brother like he said he would. I don't want to push him into it, though, so I wait somewhat impatiently through the movie we are watching. I also know I should probably explain my freak-out in the car this morning. I'm generally okay about what happened to me as a child but sometimes something just reminds me about it and I feel the filth, shame, and fear I did as a little girl. But I owe him an explanation. Maybe later, after he talks about Sander.

"Why are you so fidgety?" Eric asks, looking over at me.

"I don't know."

"Want some help relaxing?" he asks in that husky voice of his. He fixes me with a sweltering stare and I gulp.

"Yes, please," I say. I know when he looks at me like this, I am in for it.

He pushes pause on the remote and then turns dark eyes on me. "Take off your pants," he says, so I do. He looks from my lacy panties to my face and then in a quick move, while staring heatedly into my eyes, he tears them right from my body.

"Oh my god," I breathe. Sexy. Mother. Fucker.

"Open your legs," he says as he drops to his knees in front of me on the couch. When I comply, he puts his large hands on my knees and pushes them further apart, burying his face between my thighs.

"Oh shit," I gasp when his tongue sweeps quickly upwards through my slick folds. I feel him chuckle against me. He always thinks it's funny when I curse. I thread my fingers into his soft golden hair and tug a little as I make fists. I know he likes it when I pull his hair. He likes things a little rough sometimes. But he does slow and sweet enough that the rough, when he does it, is that much hotter.

He comes up for air and immediately pulls my shirt up, pushing me back while he finds my bra clasp and expertly unhooks it. He latches his mouth onto my nipple and sucks hard while he pulls on the other one. My hips buck and his chest rumbles.

"Oh, baby, that feels good," I pant and he smiles around my nipple before pulling off to suck the other one. His attentions are tightening my belly and I feel a wave of heat sweep through me. I grab the back of his head to hold his mouth to me as I arch my back and cry out. He keeps swirling his tongue around my nipple until I stop moaning and then his head is right back between my legs. I haven't even really come down from the first one when I feel another orgasm approaching. His tongue flicks quickly against my clit and when he pushes two thick fingers into me, my body spasms as I climax, his name falling from my lips in a gasp.

He sits up, licking his fingers slowly, and grabs the remote to press play. He goes back to his movie like nothing just happened and I sit with my eyes closed trying to catch my breath. As I lie back against the couch, feeling boneless and unable to move, Eric glances over at me and smiles. "Good," he says.

I don't even have the strength to figure out what he's talking about. I realize I need to put my clothes back on but I need new panties and I don't have the strength to go upstairs for them right now. Instead I whine to Eric, "Baby, you ruined my underwear."

"Yes," he says with a huge grin, "That was fun."

"Well, now you have to get me some new ones."

"I have a better idea. Let's go get in bed. You don't need clothes in bed."

As good as that sounds, I really want him to talk to me about his brother and that won't happen if we are both naked in bed.

"Well, we could go upstairs if you want but I thought you were going to tell me about Sander," I say in a gentle voice. I don't mean to push him but I think he might need a little nudge right now.

His eyes change from lust to sadness and I instantly regret my words. "I—" he starts.

"No, nevermind," I interrupt, "You don't have to."

"No, I do. I want to. I need to talk to you," he says and the openness of his face and earnestness of his eyes makes me see his need to do this.

"Okay, should we go upstairs?"

He nods so we get up and he follows me up the stairs. He makes no move to try to touch me even though I'm naked so I know his mind is elsewhere right now. Once in his room, I put on pajamas but he just sits on the edge of his bed with his head hanging down and his elbows on his knees. This is his default position when he is upset so I know things are about to get difficult.

I sit down next to him on his bed and wait silently for him to begin.

"Sander and I were best friends growing up even though he's three years younger. But we were so opposite you'd wonder if we were really related."

He stops and laughs a little before becoming serious again. His voice is low and scratchy, hesitant and forlorn.

"He was so creative, always drawing and making up games for us to play. He had the best imagination of anyone I've ever known. He could dive into a world he created for hours, days at a time. Of course, he pulled me with him and I ended up playing whatever he wanted me to."

The wistful look on his face makes me remember and miss my own childhood relationship with my brother. I don't know what I would do if Jason was in trouble like I know Sander was.

"Things started to change when he got old enough to make our father mad. I was used to being yelled at by then. I could take it. But Sander... Sander just shut down any time our father was home. He would barely come out of his room. I tried to...I wanted to make him happy, I tried to get him to make up games for us again but he wouldn't. He was always so sad. Just...not the same. I tried, Sookie, I tried."

He looks at me as he says this and my stomach clenches at the tortured look on his face. I can tell guilt is eating him alive even though he has nothing to feel guilty about. He hangs his head again and continues speaking.

"When Sander was about 14, I noticed a change in him. He went from being a good responsible student to barely getting out of bed for school. I didn't realize what it was at first. I was in college and I didn't...I wasn't home a lot. I should have been there. Maybe if... If I was there, I would have known sooner. I could've helped him sooner. He started with alcohol then cocaine and then went to heroine a few years ago. He was using for a year before I realized. A year and I didn't notice! What kind of brother... How could I not see? The only reason I knew anything in recent years is because I have friends in Sweden that kept tabs on him after I couldn't anymore. But even they hadn't seen him in close to a year."

He pauses and when he speaks again, his voice is thick with emotion.

"Maybe I should have stayed in Sweden, stayed in touch with him and kept trying to help him...I should have done more," he says and his voice breaks at the end.

"I could have done more," he whispers raggedly, looking at me as tears finally spill down his face, "I tried but I couldn't help him. I couldn't protect him from our father or from the drugs."

Tears stream steadily down his face and he's too distraught to even wipe them away. My heart aches for him, my stomach tight with shared grief. I can't stand to see this amount of pain on his beautiful face, to see him so devastated. Now that he's finally crying, I feel like crying too.

"It wasn't your job to protect him, Eric. You were a child too." I say soothingly as I reach to wipe the tears off his cheeks.

"It was! It _was_ my job and I failed him. It _was_ my job," he says, his face crumpling. He takes a deep breath to try to calm down and stop his tears but it doesn't work and they continue to fall.

"I let him live with me for a while but I had to kick him out after a few months because of the drugs. Maybe I should have let him stay but it was so hard to see him like that. He wasn't himself. He was in trouble with his dealer so I wanted to take care of it for him. I needed to do _something_ but I...I just made things worse. I beat up his dealer, I wanted to kill him and I probably nearly did but it just got Sander in more trouble and then he was mad at me. He came at me, when he got home. He came at me and so I...I..."

He says some words that I can't understand so I ask him to repeat it. I can't tell if he's speaking Swedish or if his crying is making his words unintelligible.

"I hit him!" he yells. "I failed him, Sookie. I'm his big brother. I was supposed to protect him and I couldn't!" He turns his face away from me in shame and I reach to turn it back but he won't look at me. He has nothing to be ashamed of. "I couldn't protect him from anything," he whispers to the floor, "I'm worthless."

"No, Eric," I say, trying to be gentle with him and not show how angry I am at his fucking parents. "No. It was not your job to protect him. Your father failed you; your mother failed you. It was not your job. You were a child... It's not your fault, Eric."

With these last words, he looks up sharply at me as if he's been waiting for them for years. His breath hitches and his eyes squeeze shut and now he's sobbing, completely breaking down. He reaches for me and grabs me tightly in his arms. I hold him as his shoulders quake and stroke his hair as I whisper "shh," and "it's okay," over and over. His sobs become quieter and quieter and after a while his body stills. He looks at me with his beautiful tear streaked face and I smooth his sorrowful brows with my fingers and wipe his wet lashes with gentle hands.

"I thought you would think I was as bad as my father if you knew," he says, looking down to the floor again.

"Eric, you could _never_ be as bad as your father. You are a good person. You were young; you're only three years old than Sander. Brothers fight, Eric. You should never have had to be his dad, baby. Have you been feeling guilty about that all this time?"

He looks up at me with new tears in his eyes. "Yes," he whispers. His brow furrows and his tears fall again and I just want to hold him and rock him gently like a baby. He has been carrying this shame for a decade. A decade of guilt that he adds to each time he feels he 'fucks up' something else. No wonder he feels like he is unworthy of happiness, he is drowning in misplaced blame.

We sit, Eric with his head in his hands crying silent tears, me next to him rubbing circles on his back. This broad back has borne the weight of every mistake Eric has made and cannot forgive himself for. Every regrettable thing he has done is still carried with him.

"Let go, baby," I whisper as he cries. "Let it go. The guilt, your shame—let it go."

He looks at me and puts his arms around me, scooting back to lie on the bed. He pushes his face into my neck and his tears are hot on my skin but I welcome them. He cries quietly for several minutes while I hold him and pet his hair and the side of his face. It's not the weeping he was doing before. These tears are silent, cleansing tears and I hope they will wash away his shame and self-loathing.

"Thank you, Sookie," he murmurs against my neck when he stops crying. "I'm sorry."

"Eric," I say, pulling his face up, "You have nothing to be sorry for. You have nothing to be guilty for. Do you feel better?"

He stares silently back at me for a minute as if trying to figure out the answer to my question. "I do feel better," he says at last. He smiles at me and I wipe his cheeks again and kiss them softly. He grabs my hand as I start to move it away from his face and he looks steadily into my eyes.

Something in his eyes changes and I am suddenly aware of a new feeling permeating the space between us. An electric current, originating in Eric's heated stare, causes my heart to race as it flows into me. Eric's breathing, which had slowed as he calmed down, now speeds up with his desire. I should have realized he would want this now. He always does at times like this. Like he needs to remind himself that he is indeed a man, virile and potent.

He locks his eyes onto mine and slowly closes the distance between us. Everything that has been slow and deliberate now speeds up. And soon he's kissing me and I suck his salty lips and unbuckle his belt while he pushes my pants down. We have quick needy sex in which Eric lifts his mouth from mine only to breathe and when he reaches his finish, he pants against my lips, whispering "I love you, I love you," again and again until he softens inside of me.

We lie together with him on top of me, his face against my neck, for several minutes in silence. I like the weight of his body on top of mine and his warm breath on my skin. I tickle my fingertips up and down his spine and when I hit a sensitive spot on his lower back, he shivers and arches his back which pushes his pelvis into mine. He looks at my face with a mischievous smile and rocks his hips into me again. I can feel him getting hard once more and then he slides back into me. This time we make love and it's slow and sweet and his kisses are soft and lingering. His strokes are long and deliberate and we move together in harmony like two parts of a song that blend perfectly to create beautiful music. It's at these moments that I feel like we are perfect for each other. That he was made for me and I for him. That nothing in existence is better matched and that we can overcome any difficulties life throws our way as long as we are together.

I just want Eric to feel better, to heal from his broken childhood, to be with his beloved brother and receive a much deserved apology from his mother. I want him happy, without the demons from his past that still haunt his present. I am so happy for his tears. That may sound cruel but he needs to shed them. With his tears, out flow his shame and his fear and everything that tells him to hold so tightly to his destructive control. With his tears, down come his wall and his defenses, giving him a chance at the life and the love he deserves. And he does deserve it. I want him to know that. I want him to recognize his goodness and his worth and not be afraid that he will "fuck up," as he says. Those are the words of his father and they still have a stronghold in his heart. He still hears these whispered ghosts from his past whenever he feels weak or scared in his present. I want him to recognize these words for the lies that they are and to take a stand against them and their influence over him. But I don't know if I can help him the way he needs. I will definitely try but seeing a counselor helped me overcome my past and I think he would benefit from it as well. I am hoping he will talk to his brother about it.

I was planning to talk to him about what happened this morning in the car but I think he is on emotional overload right now. My story is hard to hear and I don't think he could handle it with the way he is feeling.

"Go to sleep, baby," I whisper as he lies with his head on my breasts. I stroke his soft hair and he sighs and snuggles closer. He calls me angel, but he is straight from heaven and his love is the pure light of my life.

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**Thanks for reading! So, Eric finally broke down and cried. He feels guilty and blames himself for basically everything and carrying that guilt around is a heavy burden. Let's hope he lets some of that go and that he listens to his loved ones about what he needs.**


	38. Chapter 38

**This chapter comes with a trigger warning because Sookie will reveal a difficult part of her past. If you know her canon history, you know what she will tell Eric but I wanted to put the warning so you are prepared. It's a hard topic to think about, much less write about and I hope I have done so sensitively.**

* * *

><p>ERIC<p>

I wake up to Sookie's fingers running through my hair. I love when she touches me like this. It's like everything else goes away and it's just she and I in the world. It always makes me sigh and think about how perfect she is for me. I turn my head to smile at her and see that she is sitting up against the headboard.

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean to wake you up. I just wanted to touch you. I love you so much, Eric."

"I love you too, angel. Why are you up at...seven? Is Anni awake?"

"No, I just can't sleep. Been thinkin' about stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" She seems sad right now. She also sounds very Southern. "Thinking about home?" I ask. I know she has been thinking about home a lot because we're going to be there soon. When she tells me stories of home, she sometimes adopts the accent as she speaks.

"Uh, kinda. Thinkin' about why I freaked out in the car yesterday."

I sit up and scoot next to her against the headboard, putting my arm around her and holding her tightly. She is back to that scared little girl and suddenly I remember what she told me a while ago when I was dealing with Madden. My heart starts to hammer in my chest at the thought that someone in her past hurt her. "Tell me, please?" She never pushes me and I want to pay her the same courtesy, though I think she wants to talk to me.

She starts to cry and I can feel the sting of tears in my own eyes. I pull her onto my lap so that her head rests on my shoulder, her cheek over my heart. I don't say anything, giving her the same chance she gives me to gather my thoughts. When she starts to talk, her voice sounds so small that I start to rock her without even thinking about it.

"It was my uncle. Gran's brother, so I guess he was my great uncle. But he wasn't fuckin' great!" she says, letting anger come into her voice, which is better than the hurt. Way fucking better.

As much as I want to shush and rock her and wipe out her hurt, I just listen silently. I don't fucking know what to say anyway. Realizing that my knuckles are white because I'm clenching my hands so tightly, I try to relax. I can't slow my heartbeat, though.

"It's okay to be angry," she says. "I'm still angry, though not as much as before."

She doesn't talk for a long time after that and I would think that maybe she fell asleep but I can feel her tears on my skin since I'm shirtless. I stroke her hair and push it out of her face. I kiss her forehead and let my lips linger against her skin because her scent soothes me. My racing heart slows as I feel the rhythm of her breaths against my body.

"He liked to touch me—Uncle Bartlett. He would rub my back and stroke my hair," she says, and my hand automatically stills on her hair. "He would tell me how pretty I was. I was seven. I didn't know at first, what was happening. Eventually he started to run his filthy hands over my bottom and when we were in a room with other people, he would come up to me and pinch my behind. I would try not to make any noise so that no one would see."

The thought that I made her feel like that again makes me wretch. If I had anything in my stomach, I would have thrown it up. I'm trying to stop my chest from heaving but I feel helpless and angry, and so fucking heartbroken for my angel. I feel the sting of tears again and this time I can't stop them. I can't fucking get myself under control in the face of this.

"Sookie, I am so sorry," I say through my tears and she looks up at me. She gives me a little smile and rests her head on me again. "I feel sick that I made you feel like that again."

"You couldn't know, Eric. It's okay."

"No! It's not okay! I can't believe I did that." I would be pacing the floor if she wasn't sitting on my lap. I feel awful, I feel...violent. I want to fucking murder this man. I want his blood to spill at my hands. I know Sookie must feel how tense I am and I hope I'm not upsetting her. I really am trying to calm down. I am definitely trying hard to stop the tears that keep falling down my face. What the fuck is wrong with me? Too much crying. Too much hurt.

"I really am okay most of the time. I actually was seeing a counselor because of my parents' deaths and when I finally understood why I didn't like the way he made me feel, I told her about him. So it wasn't as bad as it could have been."

"It was still fucking bad!" I say, with more anger than I mean to. She looks at me again and sits up so that she's straddling my legs.

"Yes. It's okay to be angry. Get angry. Get pissed. Get sad. Cry. Feel what you feel. That's the only thing that gets me through," she says with her hands on either side of my face. Her eyes are fervent and I can see how much she believes in her words. I'm just so tired of feelings right now.

"What happened to him?"

"He's dead. He died alone."

"Good. Because I would fucking kill him!" I learned my lesson many times over that fists don't solve problems but in this case, I would ignore my previous education on the subject to murder the fucking bastard.

Sookie looks into my eyes and then pulls my body close to hers and pushes my head down to her shoulder. She strokes the back of my neck and whispers, "I'm okay, baby."

I nod against her shoulder but don't lift my head. I just want to hold her for a while. I tighten my arms around her small body. "I will never let anyone hurt you again. Okay? No one will ever hurt you again."

She squeezes me back. "I know, baby. I know," she whispers.

"Is that why you can't sleep naked?" I ask, connecting the dots.

"He told me that he was going to come visit me at night and that if I was a good girl, I'd sleep without my pajamas so he could see me. He never did but it's like this mental block I have. I just feel uncomfortable."

"Goddamn him!" I grit out between clenched teeth. I am so fucking angry at this pathetic excuse for a man!

"Yeah," she sighs, holding me even tighter.

We sit just hugging silently for a long time and as I listen to her breathe in and out slowly, my anger fades and again gives way to heartache. Last night and this morning have been too much for me and I start to cry again. And I just resign myself to the fact that I knew this was happening with Sookie in my life. This is the emotional flu I thought about before but even though it started with her presence in my life, now I know that Sookie is also the remedy. When I start to feel like I can't handle it, she is always there with the cure. And I can be there for her too. The realization that I can be what she needs, that I can help, that I can protect her, makes me feel capable and...just _better_. I wipe my face and sit back to look at Sookie.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

"Yes. Are you?"

"I am. Thanks for listening to me...and for your empathy."

I know she means the way I cried right along with her. "Do you...I mean, I'm not...You don't think I'm..."

"What, Eric? What are you trying to ask?" she says, with her hand on my cheek.

"Do you think I'm a pussy?" The words come rushing out of my mouth before I can stop them. I know I'm not. I _think_ I'm not. It's just...maybe I feel like I am.

Sookie furrows her brow and looks into my eyes. She looks sad but in a fraction of a second her face turns to one of almost scary anger. My eyes widen and her face softens.

"No," she says firmly. "I think you are a strong, incredible man who had a shitty fucking father. You are, without a doubt, the best example of a man that I have ever encountered, Eric. You are kind and considerate and thoughtful, successful and smart and hard working. You are lovely and handsome and sexy as hell. You are the best father I've ever had the pleasure of watching in action and you are the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. You. Are. Perfect."

"Oh, fuck," I mutter as I start to cry again. It's like I unblocked a dam and I can't stop the constant flow of tears coming out of my fucking face.

"Don't be mad at the tears, Eric. Just cry them and they will go away. If you hold them back, they will just come out some other time."

"Thanks," I say, "That's...that's actually really good advice."

"Of course it is. I _am_ pretty smart, you know." She smiles as she gently wipes my eyes and kisses my mouth and then climbs onto my lap. She crosses her ankles behind my back which puts us really close together. When she starts to rock her body over my pelvis, my dick responds before my mind.

It takes me a minute but I soon get into it and start to rock back into her. She has her mouth on my neck, kissing me softly. I need to feel her skin so I pull up her tank top to reveal her perfect round breasts that beg for my tongue.

"How can these pajamas make you look so fucking adorable and so sexy at the same fucking time?" I growl. She manages this look quite often and I'm still not sure how.

Sookie reaches down between us to stroke me through my boxers.

"Take me out, Sookie. I need to feel your skin," I say with my lips against her bare shoulder. She lowers my boxers and when I feel her hand encircle my cock, my hips push up, pressing myself into her. "Fuck," I hiss as my eyes close at the sensation. She backs up and pushes me to lie down with the hand that is not occupied pumping my cock. She crawls up between my legs as close as she can and dips her head to lick me and just as she opens her mouth to enclose my aching head in the welcoming wet heat between her beautiful lips, Annika starts wailing from her room across the hall. Now, I love my baby more than anything, but I still have a tiny tantrum that includes a couple of curse words and my fist bouncing off my mattress.

"I'll get her," Sookie says, jumping up to wash her hands. When she comes out of the bathroom, I still haven't moved. "You can finish yourself if you want, Eric. I'll take her downstairs."

"No, bring her in. I want to see my little princess. I'll put on some pants," I grumble. I'm halfway to soft anyway. Sookie smiles and walks out to get the baby.

SOOKIE

Midterms suck. That is the chant going through my mind as I sit—in my own room—studying, for the nth hour this week. I have not seen Eric for five days, since Sunday evening, when I left him after finishing the blow job I had started that morning. I have not been away from that man or his sweet baby girl for that long...ever! It sucks. Midterms suck.

But I have a plan. As soon as I finish studying this afternoon, I have the rest of the afternoon free since my lab is closed this week and next. And I'm going to go get me some Viking! I have arranged it all with Pam and she knows I will be stopping by his office. Hopefully, she cleared his schedule so he can leave with me and take me home with him. We have a very busy weekend ahead of us and I don't want to even think about school. Hence, why I have hidden away all week with my nose in a book.

After my study group is finished meeting, I run back to my dorm room to grab what I will need for my trip to Eric's office and for the rest of the weekend. Annika's birthday party is Sunday even though her real birthday is not until the Tuesday after. Between me and Haley, we have planned a nice party and almost her whole music class along with Eric's friends will be there. Poor Eric really has no idea how to host a baby's birthday party so Haley and I have had a lot of fun planning it. I just hope it's fun...and that Eric doesn't get uncomfortable with all the strangers in his house. He's been strangely subdued this week when we talk. I know he misses me and he has a lot on his mind between our trip to meet my family and his impending visit with his brother. He just seems sad to me. An air of melancholy perfumes all of our conversations and I don't like it. Hopefully we'll have some time to talk soon.

As I get off the train near Eric's building, my heartbeat picks up. I hope he likes my surprise. I follow the directions Pam gave me to get to his office and only a couple people pay me any attention as I make my way to Pam's desk.

"Sookie," Pam says quietly as I take off my coat, "You look scrumptious! He is on a phone call. When this little light goes off," she points to the phone on her desk, "You can go in. He is done for the day so feel free to take him home after you rock his world." She winks at me and I blush. I pretty much had to tell Pam what I planned because I needed her to make sure he had time for me.

"Thank you, Pam. I appreciate your help."

"Oh, it's nothing," she says, waving her hand around. "I'm just glad you make him happy. Just try not to make too much noise."

I blush again and there is probably no blood left in my actual body because it's all on the surface of my skin. This is totally not something I ever would have imagined myself doing but, hell, this is Eric.

The light goes off and that's my cue so I take a deep breath to steady myself.

"Sookie," Pam says and I turn to look at her. "Clipboard." She holds her hand out to give me the prop I asked her for.

"Oh, right! Thanks!" I say and my voice is much too high pitched.

Pam gets up and stands in front of me. "He will love you," she says, trying to ease my nerves.

"He already does," I say and I feel instantly calmer. Pam smiles and goes back to her desk.

"See you tomorrow, right? We'll have lunch before we shop. I will be there early so Eric can attach that blasted carseat into my car. It better not leave a mark on my leather," she says with a playful twinkle in her eye. Pam drives a minivan...with leather seats. She says things wipe off of leather easier and I do not, in any way, want to know what kinds of things she has going on in there that would make a mess like that.

"Yes, see you tomorrow. You won't be here?"

"As much as I want Eric happy, I don't actually want to hear it, Tinkerbelle," she says as she gathers her belongings. "Have fun!"

I wave at Pam as she walks away and take a deep breath before adjusting Tracy's glasses on my nose and the clipboard in my arm.

As soon as I open his office door and see him, with his head bent over his desk, blonde hair falling across his forehead, lips pursed in concentration, a massive wave of..._wanting_ passes through my body. This man is so fucking beautiful and sometimes I still can't believe he's mine.

He doesn't look up as he says, "Pam? Can I do something for you?"

I stand silently and when he hears the lock click on his door, he finally lifts his face from his paperwork. His mouth falls open and he just stares at me. His eyes sweep slowly up my body, taking in my red fuck me pumps, charcoal gray pinstriped pencil skirt and white blouse. It's like I can see sex filling his mind. His gaze finally reaches my face and he just looks. No doubt he was not expecting me to be wearing little glasses and holding a clipboard like he had indicated were part of his naughty secretary fantasy. I also have my hair up in a loose bun at the nape of my neck.

"Not Pam," I say in my best sex kitten voice. He swallows and his hands clench, crumpling the paper he is holding. His eyes dart briefly down to see what he ruined, and then immediately back to my face. He still hasn't moved.

Right. Showtime!

"I'm afraid I was not able to finish that report you needed, Mr. Northman, sir. I know you gave me a _hard_ deadline but I just couldn't get it done. I'm sure you will need to deal with me accordingly and I am ready to face the consequences of my actions."

His eyes widen at my words and he swallows again but I'm afraid I've frozen the poor man. He seems unable to move. I walk slowly towards his desk and the closer I get, the darker his eyes grow.

"You know...I am ready...for however you need to punish me," I purr.

He swallows one more time and then sits up straight, adjusting his tie. "Miss Stackhouse," he says in his business voice, "I am very disappointed in you. When I give you something to do, I expect it to be done. I will have to dock your pay for this." Atta boy! Only a little slip of a smile makes it onto his face.

"Oh, no, sir!" I plead, "I need the money! Isn't there something else you could do?" I bite my lip as I stand staring at him with big doe eyes. I think I'm a pretty good actress!

"Well, seeing as I appreciate the _assets_ you bring to this company, I might be persuaded to deal with you in a different way." His eyes twinkle as he speaks and I want to rush over and kiss him soundly. But I won't.

"Please, sir! I'll do anything!" He growls and my thighs involuntarily clench together. That sound always goes right to my core.

He clears his throat. I'm sure he has a massive erection behind his desk. "If you will submit to a spanking, I will let this matter go."

Ah, I figured he would go there. I love when he spanks me so this next part will require a bit more acting. "A spanking? I...isn't that kind of degrading? I mean, that seems so..."

He stands up. Yep, his magnificently bulging pants have me licking my lips before I can stop myself and by Eric's resultant groan, I know he noticed. "If you do not want to submit, you may take the pay cut I previously offered. Now, will you further waste my time or will you make your decision?"

Ooh, he's good. His commanding attitude has my panties drenched and my nipples at attention. "I will submit," I murmur, demurely lowering my eyes.

He makes a move like he wants to come to me but stops himself. "Good," he says with a devilish grin. "Come and lean over my desk," he orders.

When I do as he says, he walks up very close behind me without actually touching me. He lets me stand with my hands on his desk and my ass jutting out for a long time without speaking or doing anything. Just when I am trying to figure out what he could be waiting for, his warm breath on my ear startles me.

"Spread your legs more," he murmurs into my ear. I try but the pencil skirt does not let my legs move very far apart. "Mmm, pity the skirt will have to come off." He slowly unzips it and when it falls at my feet I step out of it. I'm wearing one of the little red thongs that Pam made me buy as extra for the night of the work party.

"Fuck," he mutters under his breath. His first time breaking character and it makes me smile. "Is this funny to you?" he demands. "You continue to disappoint me, Miss Stackhouse. I will be forced to take my disappointment out on your ass." His hand comes down and startles me because I wasn't expecting it so soon.

"Ah!" I yell. Eric immediately puts his hand on my face and turns me to look at him, completely breaking character. His eyes are worried so I smile because he didn't hurt me like he's afraid.

"Okay?" he asks softly.

"Just startled," I say.

"Good," he says in business mode, "Because you'll be getting a lot more."

When he comes to stand behind me once more, I push my ass out and rub it over the hardness in his pants. He hisses but then moves to the side of me.

"You will stand still with your hands on the desk, Miss Stackhouse. Do not move your body. Do you understand?"

"So I can't do _this_?" I say, turning to brush my hand across his fly. His eyes close halfway and his head drops back a little but he does an admirable job of keeping up the game, even if I did feel him twitch.

"Absolutely not!" he barks. He raises his hand again and this time when it comes down, I'm ready for it and I let out a low moan instead of a shriek.

He curses in Swedish under his breath. By this time, I have heard it enough that I know the Swedish curse words. Whenever he gets very excited, he does this. So basically any time he has an erection.

He rubs his hand over my butt and then continues down to my wet panties. His chest rumbles when he feels them and he moves the tiny scrap of fabric aside to push a thick finger into my very willing body.

"Yes," I moan.

"You are very wet, Miss Stackhouse. You should not be enjoying your spanking so much."

"I...I can't help it," I breathe.

"Well, let's see if we can remedy that," he says just before his hand comes down four times in rapid succession. It leaves me breathless and it takes a while for me to react. By the time I drop my head down and moan, he has already ripped my panties off and has pushed two fingers into me. I can hear how wet I am as he moves them in and out. I am never so turned on as when he plays dominant to my submissive.

I put my forehead and elbows down on the desk as I feel my legs start to shake from my impending orgasm.

"Stay still!" he barks as he removes his fingers.

"I can't, Eric," I say, looking up at him. His face softens and he nods as his hand skims over my tingling backside.

"Do you think you've learned your lesson?" he asks in a much gentler voice. His hand is still moving in circles on my ass.

"Yes, sir."

"You will not be late with my reports again?"

"No, sir."

He sits in his chair and pulls my hand so that I will stand in front of him. "Then there is just one more thing," he says in his sex voice that I love. He brings his hands to my shirt and starts to slowly lift it over my head, looking into my eyes the entire time. Once it's off, he unclasps my bra and lets it fall to the floor. When he is sitting, he is basically at breast height so he effortlessly sucks a nipple into his mouth as his hands come around to squeeze my ass.

"Oh, what's that, sir?" I breathe.

He releases my nipple from his mouth and blows air over it, drawing a whimper from my lips. "Cum for me, angel," he says, trailing his fingers down my body to my wet center. He moves his fingers over my clit before he pushes two inside me. I gasp at the sensation and widen my stance, both so he can reach me better and so I can steady myself. His thumb rubs over my clit each time his fingers curl against the magic spot inside me and the sensation tightens the heat in my belly each time he does it. I lower my forehead to rest on the top of his head and grasp the back of his neck with my fingers.

All of a sudden, Eric grabs me by the waist and sits me on top of his desk. He pushes my legs open, and with a growl, he buries his face in my wet folds.

"Eric!" I gasp because it happened so fast. And then I gasp his name again because his tongue is doing magnificent things to me.

"Sookie," he says with laughing eyes, "You have to be quiet, love." Then his eyes get dark and he finishes with, "I wouldn't want to have to gag you." He laughs at my expression and dips his head again.

As his tongue continues to work its magic, I know my moans are getting louder and louder and soon Eric will again tell me to be quiet. I'm trying. But, this man! He knows my body and he knows everything that makes me scream. When I feel myself losing control I slap my hands over my mouth to try to stifle my loud moans. Eric helps by placing the hand that is not inside me over my mouth as well. Still, I'm pretty sure that if anyone happened by Eric's door right now, they would know exactly what was going on.

"Fuck!" I say as I feel myself on that beautiful edge. I'm sure Eric can't understand me since I have three hands over my mouth. As my orgasm hits, I move my hands down to grip his hair. He growls against my skin and my thighs squeeze closer together against his face. He stands and in one swift motion, he has me flipped around and splayed on my stomach across his desk. I hear the zipper of his pants and then he thrusts quickly into me, with his hand over my mouth. His body is leaning over very close to mine and his warm breath on my ear sends a chill throughout my body. His thrusts are deep and fast, he pulls out only a little bit before he pushes back in with some force. Knowing that he's too far gone to wait for his release, I concentrate on the way he feels inside of me. Nothing has ever felt so good in my life, as Eric filling me so completely. When he is inside me, when we are so close together, his whole essence invades me. Everything I sense—his clean scent, his firm touch, his deep melodic voice, and his piercing eyes—makes me want him even more. The thought of his eyes has me wanting to see them.

"Eric," I say, moving his hand aside. "Get up, I want to see your face."

It takes him a couple thrusts to comply but then he pulls out and guides me to straddle him as he sits in his chair. I quickly position myself to take him in again and he thrusts up hard as soon as his head slides into me.

This is better. Now I can kiss him.

"I love you, darlin'," I say with my hands on either side of his face. He looks back at me with so much warmth just before his eyelids get heavy and his mouth opens. I bring my lips to his and he moans into my mouth as he finds his release. He throws him arms around me and rests his head on my shoulder so that his face is in the crook of my neck. He stays there until he stops panting. He is still inside of me.

"That..._you_ are incredible. I fucking love you!" he says. I think it's funny when he mixes curse words with such a sentiment but that's just him—heartfelt...and just a little dirty.

"I love you, too," I tell him, leaning forward to kiss him before climbing off his lap. While he uses the bathroom I get dressed quickly, sans underwear because he tore them. "You ruined my underwear again, Eric," I whine.

He laughs. "In all fairness, they were pretty well ruined before I ripped them off." He winks and I blush. "You really like when I bend you over," he murmurs.

"Let's go home and take Anni out for dinner," I suggest. If we get into this conversation, I'm going to end up bent over again before too long.

"Good idea," he says, pocketing his phone and holding his hand out for mine. "It seems my schedule has been cleared for the rest of the day."

"You owe Pam a big thank you."

"It would seem so," he says, taking his suit jacket from the funky looking coat rack near his bookcase. "Shall we, Miss Stackhouse?" he says, offering his arm.

"We shall, Mr. Northman."

I start to place the clipboard on Pam's desk as we pass it but Eric stops me.

"Bring it," he says waggling his eyebrows and making me laugh.

"Yes, sir," I say, which earns me a soft growl from tall, blonde, and sexy at my side.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading my story! Please let me know what you think!<strong>


	39. Chapter 39

SOOKIE

"This better not leave a fucking mark," Pam says as Eric tightens Annika's carseat on the seat of her minivan. I am standing at the curb holding a squirming Annika. She wants nothing more than to walk up and down the street.

"You do realize that a minivan is pretty much made to have carseats strapped into it," says Eric with his trademark smirk. "And don't curse around my daughter, Pamela," he admonishes. I've never heard him call her Pamela before and my eyes widen.

Pam looks at him like he has two heads. "You've changed," she says playfully. She kisses his cheek and apologizes, saying she will watch her mouth today.

"Thanks, Pam. I just don't want her to drop any f-bombs around other people."

Pam laughs but sobers quickly at the glare that Eric turns on her. "Why is she facing that way?" she asks, when she sees that Eric put the carseat in facing the back of the car.

"She's supposed to. It keeps her safer." Eric, being from Sweden and being generally extremely protective of his baby, will not be turning her seat around for a long while. I asked him the same thing and learned that in Sweden, they keep the kids rear facing for years. Poor Annika. When I said that to him, he said that she was better off bored than dead. I had nothing to say to that because, obviously, that's true.

Pam and I accompany Eric back into his house because he wants us to wait until his friends get there before we leave with the baby. He is going to a hockey game today and I am so happy! It took a lot of convincing to get him to go out and have some fun and I hope he enjoys himself. He's going with Alcide and another man I don't know. Alcide had to tell Eric that he had an extra ticket that would go to waste if he did not go with them to the game.

"They're here," says Pam, looking extremely happy for some reason. Maybe she likes Alcide although she hasn't really mentioned him since the party when she took him home.

As Alcide walks in, followed by an equally attractive, though slightly shorter dark haired man, I am just kind of in awe at all the gorgeous in the room. All three men are effortlessly good looking and Pam is, of course, beautiful as always. Wow.

"Sookie, you know Alcide," says Eric, gesturing, "And this is Rasul. He and I met through this douche," he says, punching Alcide lightly in the shoulder. Hmm, Eric acting like a frat boy...I like it.

"Did you guys all used to hang out?" I ask, indicating all four of them. "Oh! Where are my manners? It's very nice to meet you, Rasul. And nice to see you again, Alcide," I say with a big smile and an outstretched hand.

"You have manners...what are you doing with this asshole?" says Rasul, laughing as he points to Eric.

"Language!" says Eric, which gets him raised eyebrows from Rasul and Alcide.

"Wow," says Rasul, laughing, "He really _is_ different. Sookie, maybe you don't know, but this guy had the dirtiest mouth of anyone I have ever known. Looks like he's been tamed."

"Oh, he's still dirty," I say and then immediately close my eyes as I feel the heat of my blush creep up my neck. Oh god.

Pam cackles and I turn even more red. "She's right. Trust me," she says winking at the boys.

"I owe you for that, Pam," says Eric quietly, walking up to her.

"Oh, I know. You plan to buy me a little something today, didn't you know?"

"Oh?" he says, raising an eyebrow at her. She copies his eyebrow exactly, making me wonder who had the move first. He grins after a second. "Get something nice. And don't get crazy clothes for Annika, please. She doesn't need much. Don't go overboard."

Pam just looks at him. She's going to go overboard.

Eric introduces Annika to the guys and they both coo like idiots at her which makes me and Pam look at each other and laugh. Annika is just eating up all the attention while Eric smiles proudly.

"Well, boys, we have to take this little beauty for now. We have a girls' day planned and you three have the wrong plumbing to accompany us," says Pam, taking Annika from Eric.

Eric comes to me for a kiss, which I gladly give him along with a little squeeze.

"I love you. Have fun," he whispers.

"You too, for both of those," I say smiling.

Pam hands me Annika and then walks up and kisses Alcide right on the mouth. As soon as he wipes the goofy look off his face, he puts on a smug smile. But it vanishes when she walks up to Rasul and does the exact same thing. Alcide looks dumbstruck as he sputters but Rasul just looks unaffected.

"See ya later, boys," she coos as we walk out the door.

* * *

><p>ERIC<p>

"What the fuck?" says Alcide, rounding on Rasul as soon as Pam leaves.

"What?" says Rasul. This guy never gets ruffled. He is always calm in the face of everything. It's a pretty good trait to have especially in his line of work. He's a police officer for the city of Boston.

"She kissed you!" says Alcide with narrowed eyes.

"She kissed you too, man!" Rasul laughs. When I start to laugh, Alcide gives me the same angry look he is giving Rasul. Alcide is still high strung, I guess.

"Can we go? I'm starving and if we want to make it to the game on time, we need to go eat now."

"You're always starving, Northman. I guess some things never change," says Rasul as we walk to the door.

As soon as we order our lunch at the restaurant, Alcide starts back in about Pam. I knew he wouldn't give it a rest for long. Rasul gives me a look and I chuckle until Alcide glares at me.

"Oh, c'mon, Al," says Rasul. "You dating Pam or something? Why are you acting like a jealous boyfriend?"

"No," he huffs. "I mean...no." He looks like a sulking toddler and I would laugh except I know how it feels to be insecure about someone you like. If he likes Pam like I'm guessing he does.

"She took him home after our last work party," I say. Alcide remains quiet.

"She took him home? Oh! Oohh!" says Rasul with a ridiculous grin on his face.

"Fuck you," says Alcide.

Rasul just smiles bigger. "So did you enjoy being tied up? I'm assuming you didn't behave and she had to tie you up. How about the flogger? I bet you only got that soft purple one? Wait until you feel the red one!"

Both Alcide and I turn incredulous faces to Rasul. He's fucking serious. What the fuck?

"How the fuck...?" says Alcide, staring daggers at Ras.

"Hey, uh, keep that shit to yourselves guys," I say. "Pam may be my best friend but I don't need these mental images of her with your hairy asses. Holy shit! I need fucking brain bleach."

We smile politely at our waitress as our food comes, pretending we are not talking about kinky sex with a woman who has apparently seen all of us naked at some point. She winks at Rasul when she's done serving us.

"Did you fuck _her_ too?" asks Alcide, looking at Ras.

"Funny. No, but I might. When I come here in uniform, she is all over me."

"Fucking cops," Al mutters. "So what the fuck is up with you and Pam?"

"Stop!" I yell, which earns me a bunch of stares from the other patrons in the restaurant.

Rasul just looks at me before he starts up again. "We fuck sometimes. No biggie. She ties me up, I tie her up. We fuck. It's fantastic but that's all it is."

When Alcide just stares at Ras as he eats his burger, Rasul grins again.

"Did you think you were the only dick in her life?"

"How long?" Alcide asks through gritted teeth.

"Longer than you."

"How fucking long, man?"

"Years. Since you introduced us, Eric."

"Fuck. Don't bring me into this. I don't even wanna fucking _be_ here right now!" I say.

"That was five years ago!" Alcide practically shrieks. Al met Rasul while working on a case and introduced him to me. We all used to hang out. I introduced him to Pam but I never had an inkling that they were fuck buddies.

"What's the big deal? I can assure you, it's not a big deal to her."

"I guess not," Alcide pouts.

"Okay, guys. Let's talk about something else. Please?"

"This is your fault!" Alcide says, glaring at me again.

"What? How the fuck is this my fault?"

"You stopped hanging out with us when you met that bitch Sophie, so it was just me, Ras, and Pam, and no you to keep her in line."

I tense up at the mention of Sophie but what he said makes me think. "Did I stop hanging out when I met her?" They both look at me with equal amounts of pity and 'duh' on their faces. "Shit," I mutter.

"Yeah, so, subject change," says Rasul, eyeing Alcide.

"Right! Finish eating, the game starts soon. Do they play ice hockey in Sweden, Eric?"

"Are you fucking kidding?" I say, grinning.

* * *

><p>SOOKIE<p>

"Oh my god, Pam! Eric will freak if she comes home with Chanel shoes!"

"But look how cute they are! Look at her smile, she likes them."

"No way! You've already bought her two pairs of shoes and a pair of rain boots as if she will be walking around outside in the rain. How many pairs of shoes does a baby need?"

Pam looks at me with her hand over her heart like I just insulted her mother or something. "Sookie! I still have so much to teach you!" she sighs dramatically.

"No Chanel shoes!"

She sighs but then her eyes light up. "How about these? She must have these," she says, picking up a tiny pair of cowboy boots. "She _is_ going to hickville after all!"

"Pam!" I huff. "Okay, fine. They _are_ pretty adorable."

Pam smiles and we move on to the next section of designer baby clothes. Pam already bought a bunch of Burberry clothes for Annika and I recognized the plaid design as being on a dress that Anni already has. Of course, Pam told me she bought it. Eric buys nice things but he doesn't care much for labels.

"Look at this little outfit," calls Pam, holding up a tiny pink shirt and pants. Everything she has gotten has pink on it. Apparently it's her favorite color and she's trying to make Eric's child into a miniature version of herself. If they had baby heels, we'd be in trouble!

"It says Versace right on the front, Pam! And so does that!" I say when she holds up a pink Versace dress.

"Fine," she sighs, putting them back.

We finally make it to the section with Ralph Lauren clothes and though they are much more expensive than I can see myself spending for baby clothes, they are tasteful and adorable. Pam picks out a few outfits, all of them pink.

"Ok, so are we done? Eric will flip if we get anything more than this."

"I'm sure you know how to calm him down, Sookie," she says with a wink.

"Pam!"

"What? You can never play little innocent college girl with me again, Sookie! I know what you two are into now!"

"Shh!" I hiss desperately. It's not like I know anyone who would be shopping at Neiman Marcus but still.

"Oh, Mr. Northman, I've been a naughty naughty secretary!" she croons, with a big smile on her face.

"Did you hear us? I thought you left!"

"Oh my god, I was kidding! Oh, Sookie, that's priceless," she says, laughing.

"You're not so innocent either! What's with you and Alcide _and_ Rasul? Do you have a thing with both of them?"

"I never claimed to be innocent. I had a one time thing with Alcide but I've been having fun with Rasul for years now. Whenever I get the itch for something other than snatch, I call him."

"Oh, wow. I...I don't think I could do that. Aren't you afraid of falling for him?"

"For Ras? No. If I ever settle down, it will be for a woman. Rasul is a good guy, great actually and we have a great time together but both of us know it's not going anywhere else. He's actually the one...Eric doesn't know this...but he's the one who helped out with the Victoria Madden situation. He's a police officer so he has connections."

"Are you going to tell Eric?" I don't know if I can keep a secret from him.

"I suppose if Rasul wanted to tell him, he could. He didn't know what was going on, only who to watch."

"Okay. I'll let Rasul tell him. So...should we head home? Get this little one to bed? She's about to conk out."

Pam grins at me like the cheshire cat. "You think of his house as home?"

"Um, yeah? It's where I'm happiest and I'm there a lot. I mean, I know we don't really live together. I still have my room at school but I'm over there like half the—"

"Sookie," she interrupts, "I understand...He was right. That's adorable."

"What?"

"You. Rambling like that. Quite adorable. And that blush? Delectable."

I'm sure I turn about three shades darker at her words. Ugh. "Did he really tell you that?"

She just laughs. "Come on, Tinkerbelle. Let's go. This little lady needs a nap if she's going to give her daddy a fashion show when he gets home."

* * *

><p>ERIC<p>

"Did you have fun today?" Sookie asks as we are lying in bed together after putting Anni to sleep. It's our first chance to talk tonight after a rowdy dinner with all the guys. Pam had a date but Ras and Al stayed for pizza and regaled Sookie with more tales from my younger stupider days. Luckily Sookie doesn't judge me for my past. Though I did make them pay me back by helping to put together Annika's IKEA kitchen.

"I did have fun. Thanks for the nudge. I don't think I would have gone if you didn't encourage me."

"Well, I figured you needed a little cheering up?" She says it like a question, as if she's not sure if I needed cheering or not. "Have you been a little sad this week, honey?"

"I missed you."

"I know...but it seemed like more than that. Want to talk about it?"

"I get sort of lost in my thoughts without you to pull me out of them. I was just thinking about my brother all week and my father, I guess. It's kind of hard to realize everything that happened to us, me and Sander, and how wrong it was. I guess I never thought about how I still remember the things my father told me. I still believe them. He told me not to cry, you know? He told me crying means you can't control yourself...but that's not true, is it?"

"No, baby. That's not true," she says, rubbing my arm.

"Yeah, that's not true. It made me feel better. It made it hurt less. I felt like...lighter. Do you think Sander knows that? That crying is okay?"

"I hope so."

"Me too," I say. We lie quietly, just enjoying the silent company, until I smile at Sookie. "Did you have fun with Pam? She was the topic of conversation at the lunch table with Rasul and Alcide."

"Because she slept with them both?"

"She told you that? Yeah, Al was not too happy that she has multiple fuck buddies."

"I can see that. Well, tomorrow will be interesting with them both at the party."

"Oh...shit. That could get awkward."

"Yup." Sookie grins.

I roll over to her and kiss her as I run my hand down her body. She has on those stretchy black pants I like.

"Want to take a shower with me?" I whisper as my lips caress her neck.

"A sex shower or a shower shower?"

"Sookie," I say, giving her a serious look, "When have we ever gotten through a shower together without fucking?"

She rolls her eyes but gets up and strips off her clothes. I follow behind her to the bathroom, shedding my own clothes and staring at her ass as it sways in front of me.

When we wake up in the morning, Sookie has all these orders for me to get ready for the party. She is buzzing with energy but my feet are dragging. At eleven o'clock, six children and their moms will invade my house and I can't say that I'm looking forward to it. Really, I'm lucky that I haven't had to do much yet. Sookie and Haley have planned everything. Sookie made star wand shaped cookies and bought pink decorations which she is currently putting up around the living and dining rooms. I am banished to pick up the cake this morning and I'm taking Annika so she will be out of their way.

"Okay, so you know what you're doing?" says Sookie.

"I'm not stupid," I say and then quickly apologize when Sookie gives me a look. "I think I'm nervous," I admit.

"Aw, baby, it will be fun. Annika is going to have a blast. Try to relax on your drive, okay? If you need a break when the guests are here, just go upstairs. It should be pretty quiet upstairs."

"Okay. I'll be fine. I've just never done this before. All the previous parties I hosted included lots of alcohol. Babies and cookies...totally different," I smile. I'm sure I'll be fine.

"Yup! Alright, I changed Anni and packed her bag so you're all set. See you in a while."

I chat to Annika the whole way to the bakery, telling her stories of boyhood parties I attended. Sweden has many more occasions for parties than America it seems. We always had something to celebrate with good food and friends, my favorite being midsummer.

"Jag skulle älska att ta dig och Sookie att fira midsommar i Sverige. Vi skulle ha så kul! (I would love to take you and Sookie to celebrate midsummer in Sweden. We would have so much fun!)," I tell her. Maybe someday.

Annika falls asleep in the car on the way back from the bakery so I'm left with my thoughts. I can't help but think about the family that is not celebrating my daughter's birthday today. Sander will be here soon but my mom would love this party. She always did love babies. Shit. I'm just making myself sad so I try to think of other things and finally settle on how happy Annika will be with all her presents.

By the time I get home, I'm pretty excited about the party. People should be here in about an hour and the place looks great. Haley is here and she comes up to take Annika up to her crib so I can go back out for the cake. Sookie directs me to put it in the kitchen.

"You look better," she says as she follows me into the kitchen.

"Annika is going to be so happy. That makes me happy."

"Good," she says pressing her lips quickly to mine. "Go get dressed and we'll make sure everything is ready."

When I'm upstairs getting dressed, I hear the doorbell and I panic slightly until Pam yells up the stairs. She's early.

As I'm walking down the stairs, Sookie looks from me to Pam and says, "You guys do not know how to dress for a kid's party. At least your sweater is dark, Eric, but, Pam...how much do you like that dress?"

"If a dirty kid comes near me, I'll just push it down and walk away," says Pam with an evil smile and Eric laughs.

"Pam! I can't believe you guys!"

"She's kidding! Right?" I say, still chuckling. This should be an interesting party between the awkwardness of Pam and Alcide together, fancy clothes and dirty kids, and a bunch of moms I've never met.

"Of course...I will only push them down if they're snotty."

Sookie walks away mumbling and rolling her eyes. She goes upstairs to get Annika ready. Haley's present to her is a little pink outfit with a tiny tutu that Annika will look adorable in.

I introduce Pam to Haley and they chat while Haley arranges the food on the dining room table, which has been pushed against the wall. She asks me to help move the living room furniture to make room for the storyteller who will arrive later. She met him at the hospital when she was volunteering and says he's excellent.

We have about twenty minutes before guests are due to arrive and I can't stop pacing.

"Sookie, take him upstairs for a quickie. He needs to relax," Pam states, which gets raised eyebrows from everybody and a tiny laugh from Haley, surprisingly.

Sookie blushes but looks at me, silently asking if I would like that. Since I don't think I could have sex with everyone downstairs knowing what I'm doing, I opt for a drink instead.

"There was a time when an audience wouldn't have bothered you," says Pam, who follows me for a drink of her own.

"Yeah, then I grew up."

"Guess so. Watching you be a dad is something I never thought I'd see, Eric. You are great at it."

I smile and kiss Pam's cheek and thank her for her compliment. Her words do a lot to make me feel better about today.

Alcide arrives next and he and Pam just sort of look at each other for a while before Sookie asks for Pam's help in the kitchen. They unwrap the trays of fruit and bring them to the table while Alcide joins me as I go to pick up Annika from the living room. She surprises me by reaching for Alcide and he surprises me by grinning and cooing at her like a fool.

I look at the clock and see that it's eleven so people should start arriving any time now.

"How many milfs you got coming?" asks Alcide.

"Oh, man. Come on! I don't know anyone who's coming besides who's already here. But please, don't hit on anybody."

Alcide just smiles, which does not make me feel any better.

The doorbell rings and two families arrive at once. Haley makes introductions since she knows them from Anni's music class. The kids are about two maybe? It's hard for me to judge because Annika is tall. These kids are walking and talking even though they are tiny. So I'm guessing two. The moms are nice even if one of them is eyeing Alcide and I like pieces of meat.

The next family arrives followed rapidly by the rest of the guests. Now my house is loud and being overrun with children. There seems to be a group of younger moms together and a group of older moms. They pretty much keep to themselves.

Every time a new family comes in, Sookie introduces herself and tells them to help themselves to the food and make themselves at home. She is a great hostess. She has really good manners and has always been wonderful at making people feel comfortable. I'm really glad she's here.

One of the moms comes walking up to me, startling me. She stands a little too close to me but I don't want to back up and be rude.

"Your party planner is excellent," she says, "Do you think you could give me her info for my Bradley's party in a couple months?"

I have no idea what she's talking about so I just nod my head slowly. She puts her hand on my chest and warning sounds go off in my head but I can't make my body move. Oh shit.

"Your party planner?" she says.

"I don't have a party planner."

"Then who is that young lady helping out? You're not married..."

"I'm his girlfriend," says Sookie from behind me and I have never been so happy to hear her voice. The woman immediately removes her hand from my chest and steps back. Sookie links her arm through mine and smiles brightly at her.

"Oh!" she says. "Oh, sorry. I thought he was single."

"Nope! He's not," Sookie says, with a bit of an edge to her voice.

"Oh, well, it's a great party!" She goes to sit with some other moms and they start talking in low voices and looking from Sookie to me.

"Wow, she may have thought you were single but she isn't! Look at the rock on her finger!" Sookie whispers as she tugs me to the food table. "Eat something. And stand here. I'll protect you from the horny housewives," she says with a wink.

"Yes, Ma'am," I say.

* * *

><p>SOOKIE<p>

These ladies have a lot of nerve. Well, maybe just that one. But her friends have no problem ogling both Eric and Alcide like they've never seen two handsome men in the same house before.

Before I can get any more upset, the storyteller arrives and entertains the kids and adults for forty-five minutes. He really is hilarious and his stories and puppets are just right to engage all the kids from babies to preschoolers.

Pam and Alcide seem to be over their awkwardness and are happily chatting in the kitchen, away from the kids and moms.

When it's time for the cake, we all sing and it startles Annika. She looks around wide eyed at everybody so Eric puts his giant hand over her tiny one and she looks up, smiling at him. I can tell by looking around that if everyone was not singing, a collective sigh would have gone out because of the precious pair. Haley is recording her and I am snapping pictures with Eric's camera so that he can just enjoy his girl on her day. Annika digs into the cake and two fists it into her mouth which makes everyone laugh. Just like her daddy she has a great appetite. Though, unlike her, he has mastered the art of getting the food to his actual mouth. Annika is wearing her cake all over her face.

I volunteer to take her upstairs to wash her up and change her clothes but the hall bathroom door is closed. Party guests are using the half bath downstairs so I'm trying to figure out who would be in there when I hear a series of grunts that can only mean one thing. Who the heck is fucking in Eric's bathroom? Well, by the noises I can hear, they are almost finished so I will wait and see who comes out. I have my suspicions.

"Hello," I say nonchalantly, when Pam and Alcide emerge, sweaty and disheveled. Pam is smoothing down her dress and Alcide is running his hand through his hair. They both stop and look at me. Alcide smiles sheepishly.

"Uh..."

"Sookie," says Pam. "Would you believe that Alcide had a splinter he wanted me to look at?"

"Um, no. I think the only wood in there was inside you. Am I right?" I can't help but to crack up, which diffuses the tension we are all feeling. "You better have cleaned up...this is her bathroom," I say, gesturing to Annika in my arms. "Please tell me you didn't leave...evidence in there."

"We were careful," she says and I notice Alcide has not said a single word. This poor guy is in way over his head with Pam.

"Good. The guests should be leaving soon, do you want to stay for a while? Have a few drinks? I'm sure Eric needs to wind down. Did you see that skank touching him?"

"Oh, Sookie. I saw your face as you marched up to them. _I_ was scared and I didn't even do anything! That lady is lucky you have class!"

"She apologized and moved back or I might have had to choke a...person," I finish, looking at Annika.

Pam laughs and Alcide finally gets over his shame and does too.

"I'll be right down if you want to stay. Just going to clean this little one up."

"Sure."

By the time I finish changing Anni, the guests are ready to leave so we say goodbye. Haley told us that kids don't open their presents at the actual party in this area so when the last guests leave, we sit down with some wine and let Anni go to town. The girl is an expert paper ripper and has little trouble with unwrapping.

She gets a bunch of cute clothes, and toys, some books, and paints. She likes the books the best I think and immediately bring one over to Eric so he will read to her. She plops her bottom down onto his lap where he is sitting on the floor and opens the book.

"Oke" she says and Eric's eyes light up.

"Boken!" he says.

"Oke!" she repeats.

Pam and Alcide are looking at them, having no idea what's going on but I am pretty sure she is saying book in Swedish, which would be her first Swedish word, I think. Maybe upp, which means up, but that's similar to English so it's hard to tell.

Eric starts reading the book and Pam looks at me so I explain why he was so excited.

"Ah, she's a smart little one," says Pam. "She takes after her auntie obviously."

"You being her auntie?" I ask.

"Of course!"

When I first met Pam, she seemed almost afraid of Annika, so it makes me smile to think how much has changed. Eric was pretty lonely for a long time, I think, and as I watch him read happily to Annika, who snuggles against his chest while Alcide and Pam look on, I feel a huge bubble of happiness that threatens to make me choke up if I dwell on it. Instead I round up another drink refill and then sit and listen to Eric's smooth voice as he reads until Annika falls asleep.

Once he puts her down, we all pitch in to get the place cleaned up and all the furniture back where it belongs and I can tell Eric feels much better to have everything in order again.

"Thanks for coming guys," I say, as we walk Pam and Alcide out. They are leaving together and I wonder what they will be doing later.

"Thanks for everything," says Eric in a way that makes it seem he is thanking them for more than attending his baby's birthday party.

"No problem, man," says Alcide, giving him that handshake/hug combo thing that only men seem to do. Pam hugs him tightly and he runs his hand over her hair affectionately. I'm glad that he has such a good friend.

Later, while Eric is putting Annika to sleep, I slip into his room to start a bath. The poor guy is exhausted and I think he would enjoy it. He has a huge tub that we really have not put to good use yet.

"Eric," I call quietly to him from the hallway as soon as he comes out of Anni's room. When he looks my way I hold my hand out to him and he comes and puts his hand in mine. I tug him into the bedroom and his steps get slower.

"Sookie, I'm sorry. I'm tired, do you mind if we don't—"

"Hush, darlin'," I say with my finger over his lips. I start walking again and lead him into the bathroom where the tub is full of water and the linden scented bath oil that I bought yesterday. It smells like heaven. As we stand in front of the tub, I wordlessly undress Eric and then myself. "Get in, baby."

Eric kisses me sweetly on the corner of my mouth before he steps into the tub. He sighs deeply as he sinks into the hot water and then holds out his hand for mine so I will join him. I sit straddling him and lean forward to lay my head on his shoulder.

"You know legend has it that the Linden is the tree of lovers," he whispers.

"Oh? I just thought it smelled good but that seems fitting since I love you so much," I murmur against his strong neck.

"I love you, too. Thank you for this," he whispers, stroking my hair.

"You're welcome. You were amazing today," I tell him and hold my breath to see what he will say. He has started taking compliments well on occasion but still, most often he does not accept them.

He lifts my face and presses his lips to mine. "You were," he murmurs against my mouth. Yeah, this is what he does most of the time—deflect and distract. He pulls away and I sigh. "But...thank you," he says with bright eyes looking into mine.

I smile at him and it pulls one from his lips. The rest of the bath is silent as we just enjoy each other's soothing company. It's silent when I slip my hands down Eric's wet chest and over his rippled abs to find him hard beneath the water. Silent as I take hold of his slippery length and he tips his head back. Quiet as I stroke him slowly and he lifts his head to gaze into my eyes. And although his mouth falls open, he doesn't speak. His heavy breaths are the only sound in the room apart from the movement of the water. And when he cums, the noise increases only by the small amount of his soft moan.

Unwilling to break this wordless bubble, we sit together in each other's arms, until the water cools. We rinse off without talking and Eric takes my towel from me and rubs my body dry with it. He takes my lotion and leads me to the bed, gesturing for me to lie down. As he massages lotion into my skin, he follows his hands with his lips, softly brushing them along my arm, legs, and back. He walks away and I hear him opening his dresser drawer before he comes back and dresses me in one of his large shirts. We lie down together and he turns off the light and curls his huge body around mine, pushing his sweet face into my hair. He sighs and I realize that his sighs of late have been ones of contentment and pleasure instead of anguish. It makes me smile and he holds me tighter as if he can feel my happiness.

"I love you," I whisper.

"I love you," he breathes as sleep claims him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: picture Rasul as Santiago Cabrera. Look him up (or better yet, visit my wordpress site) to see him. He's yummy.**


	40. Chapter 40

ERIC

"So, pack a sweater and some pants but mostly things for warm weather?" I ask, as we stand in Anni's room with her suitcase open on the floor. We leave this afternoon for Sookie's hometown and I can't yet tell how I'm feeling about it.

"Yes. Hey," she says, coming to stand in front of me with her hand on my cheek, "Are you stressing out?"

"I don't know. Maybe? I...um...I don't know." Way to go. That was impressively lame.

She smiles and wraps her arms around my waist as I kiss her hair. "It's okay if you're stressed. Just because you're nervous to meet my family doesn't mean something is wrong. I think everyone gets nervous over this."

"Well, at least, I won't have to contend with your dad holding a shot gun up to my chest!" I say and then immediately wince at my extremely poor choice of words. This is exactly why I'm nervous about meeting her family. "Oh my god, Sookie, I am so sorry! That was a horrible thing to say. Oh, damn. I can't believe I said that!" I'm freaking out over how much of an asshole I am when I feel Sookie shaking. Thinking she is sobbing, I push her away from my chest so I can see her face. She's not pissed or sad...she's fucking laughing.

"It's okay, Eric," she says, through her laughter. "Jason has a gun and he will probably show it to you."

"What?" Um...what?

"He won't shoot you. Well, unless he thinks you're not worthy of his little sister."

"What!?"

She laughs again and pats my arm. "I'm kidding, darlin'. You should see your face!"

"Oh, ha ha. That's not funny, Sookie. I don't know what's normal for rednecks."

"Okay, _that_—isn't funny. What the hell, Eric?" Annika, bored with her book, tries to climb Sookie's leg so she swings the baby up to her hip and they both stare at me. My baby doesn't even know what's going on and she's on Sookie's side.

"Oh, shi—sorry!"

She looks at me sternly for a second and then she breaks into a huge smile, laughing again.

"Oh, come on! Stop messing with me!" I complain.

"Oh, your face, honey. I'm sorry...oh." She can't stop laughing and then Annika starts up and I end up cracking up too.

We stand around until we get serious and then Sookie and Anni come to hug me. I wrap my arms around both girls and squeeze them.

"Feel better?" Sookie asks.

"Yes, thank you, angel. You're the best."

"Of course I am!" she says happily. "Your arms are so long, they fit around me and Anni so easily! In fact, I think they'll even fit around two more babies when we have them!"

My arms stiffen and my heart starts thumping because of her words. I'm sure she didn't mean to say that and now she's going to blush and start rambling. And as adorable as that is, I don't want her to do that this time. Because even if she is embarrassed by what she said, I'm not.

"Eric—"

"No. Don't do that, Sookie. I want what you want. When I think of everything I want the mother of my children to be—it's you. There is nothing I could possibly want that you don't possess. I want it all, Sookie. I want everything—with you."

She tips her head back to look at my face and she has tears falling down her cheeks. "I love you," she whispers up at me.

I wipe the tears off her face and kiss her forehead and Anni kisses her cheek. My baby girl loves her as much as I do. Sookie laughs when we both kiss her and kisses us back in turn.

My kiss is on my lips so I take the opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth. I don't know how much alone time we will get this week and I know we will definitely not be having sex in her grandmother's house. I wonder if we can fit in a quickie before we leave for the airport.

"Hey now," Sookie says with a wink, backing up from my embrace. She puts Annika down to play and she toddles away.

"Sorry," I say with a sheepish smile. "I was just thinking about how we won't be getting _intimate_ this week at your house."

"And that made you hard?"

"Well, then I wondered if we have enough time for a last hurrah."

"A last hurrah?" she says, grinning. "You going off to war? No...yeah, I think we'd better make time, don't you, Mr. Northman?"

I grin back at her. "I do indeed, Miss Stackhouse."

"Well, Anni got up early so that means an early nap. You think you can wait an hour?"

"For you? I would wait a millennium."

"You're going to make me cry again, Eric. Stop being so darn perfect."

"I am far from perfect, angel, but you love me anyway."

"Well, neither of us is perfect but we are perfect for each other, right?"

"Right." It's almost obscene how much I love her. "I figured out how I feel."

"How you feel about what?"

"This trip...I love you so much and if your family doesn't like me, I don't know what that will mean. I'm nervous. I'm scared. I'm terrified, Sookie." Whoa, Northman. No need to act like a pussy. "And my father's voice is in my head telling me I'm acting like a sissy."

"Well, first of all, you sharing your feelings does not make you a sissy. It makes you healthy. And second, in the very very extremely remote possibility that Gran and Jason don't like you, it changes nothing about the way I feel. I love you, baby. Remember when I said I will be here to erase your doubts? This is me, with a huge freakin' eraser!"

I pick her up and hug her to my chest. "And you think you're not perfect."

"Gran and Jason are going to love you. How could they not? You're beautiful, smart, successful, funny, kind...did I mention beautiful?"

"Sookie, you see the best in me...and you will never know how much that means to me. But not everyone is like that. I'm scared that they will see the jerk that I really am."

She huffs at me, making an exasperated noise that startles me. My eyes widen and she tries to smile at me but she falls miles short of happy.

"I'm sorry!" I say because I must have done something to make her this upset at me.

"Don't apologize to me. It's your father who is an asshole!" she says and I look around for Anni to make sure she isn't listening.

"Oh, I shouldn't have said—"

"Where's Annika?"

"By the bookshelf? Oh. Um, I don't know."

"Shit!" I say, walking to the open door. "Well, she has to be on this floor because of the baby gate. Check the office, I'll check my bedroom." My room has nothing in it but the office is full of stuff she shouldn't have and I have no idea how long she's been gone. Can't be more than five minutes but it's silent upstairs and that fact is unsettling. I am trying not to freak out but my heart is beating a mile a minute as I walk the short distance to my room.

"The bathroom door was closed and she's not in there," I hear Sookie yell.

"Check the—" I start to say before I spot her. She's on my bed, her little feet hanging off the edge, and she's asleep. I want to collapse at the relief I feel. It surges through my body, threatening to drop me to my knees.

"Oh, fuck," Sookie sighs as she strides into the room and stops short when she sees Anni.

"Yes," I whisper, as I slowly sink to the floor and sit with my knees up and my back against the wall. I scrub my hands down my face and let out a shaky breath. "Fuck." Sometimes you just need the f word.

* * *

><p>SOOKIE<p>

I'm worried about the way he slid down the wall onto the floor and the way he is still sitting there with his eyes closed. And I am hoping, most likely only to be disappointed, that he is not going to blame himself for this momentary lapse in supervision of his daughter. Shit happens, she is okay, and he did nothing wrong. But of course, this is Eric, who blames himself for everything.

I sit down next to him and rest my head on his shoulder. He's shaking. He doesn't otherwise move or speak and I feel almost frantic to get him feeling better. He's already stressed out that we're traveling to meet my family and friends and now this. I have got to get him happy again and I know he doesn't like it when I offer him sex to ease his distress. Not that he's ever said that but he never accepts my offers so I have stopped asking.

"One time when Jason was two, he wandered away from Gran's backyard during a family party," I say and Eric lifts his head. "He walked all the way into the forrest while Mama and Daddy, Gran and Granddad, were all sitting around just talking. By the time they knew he was gone, he was halfway to the creek. He had walked through the cemetery and through this big patch of wild blackberries so when they found him, he was covered in blackberry juice and he was sticky and sweaty and having the time of his life. They said he was laughing when they found him, as if someone were telling him jokes or tickling him. Granddad said it was angels taking care of him. But he was okay, and they told that story for years. They laughed about it because it can happen to anyone. And there were four of them!"

Eric slips his arm around my shoulders and kisses my head. His hands are steady. "Thank you," he murmurs.

"You okay? That was scary."

"I'm okay. I thought I was going to have a heart attack when I didn't know where she was," he says quietly. He stands up and then offers his hand to help me up. When I'm standing, he pulls me to his chest and holds me very tightly. If I didn't know how much he needed it, I would tell him it was too tight, but it's okay.

"Put her in her crib and meet me in the office," I stand on tip-toe to whisper in his ear.

He grins at me and lets me go to pick up Anni.

I scramble to his office and hurriedly take off my clothes so that I can be ready when he walks in. I drape my body across his couch and try to look as sexy as I can, which is probably not all that sexy. But I'm naked so that should count for something.

I hear his purr as he sees me and my heart quickens. He sheds his clothes as he walks over to me and he's hard by the time he's naked.

"You are just what I always need," he says to me before he covers my body with his own.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please direct your attention to the flight attendant as we go over the safety procedures for your flight this afternoon," sounds the voice through the intercom as we adjust our seatbelts.

We have been sitting on the plane for twenty minutes because they let the people with small children on first. Next time, we will not take them up on their offer. Annika is bored. She's been strapped into her carseat for all of those twenty minutes and she's whining and reaching across me to Eric so he will pick her up.

"She will be okay," I tell Eric because he seems just as upset as Annika with the situation.

"No, I'm going to get her out," he says, standing to unstrap her from her seat.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask... um, just hurry up, sir," says the flight attendant who appeared next to him as soon as he stood up. I think she was about to tell Eric to sit his big ass down but when he turned his glare on her she changed her tune real quick.

Eric quickly grabs Annika out of her seat and puts her in his lap as he sits down.

"Feel better?" I ask. "I think you scared that poor lady half to death."

He looks a bit ashamed of himself for a second before he smiles. Annika settles into his chest and he pets her hair for a moment before answering me. "She needed me," he says. I guess so. I have the feeling that he would move mountains for her if that's what it took to make her happy.

"So tell me again how they will love me?" says Eric, once Anni is asleep and we have carefully transferred her into her carseat. She didn't sleep for long at home earlier, which is good because I'd much prefer that she sleep on the plane. She basically gave us enough time to finish our activities before she woke up and for that I am grateful because I think Eric needed the release. He is, apparently, still nervous.

"Darlin', Gran is going to take one look at you and fall in love with you and Jason will be happy to have another guy to hang out with. And then, of course, they will both fall in love with Annika. How could they not love you both? Don't worry, Eric, okay?"

"I can't help it," he shrugs. "This is important and I just feel like I'm going to fuck it up."

I grab his hand and kiss his knuckles and then take a deep breath. Every time I hear the words of his father come from his mouth, I get so angry. "You are not going to mess up. You are smart and capable, you are kind and thoughtful, you will be wonderful!"

Just when I think he's doing so well and feeling so much better about himself, he goes and calls himself names again like earlier at home and now he says he will fuck up. His father still ruins his self-confidence and it makes me so fucking angry. How could he call that precious boy so many horrible things? How can Eric call _himself_ so many ugly names? How does he not see how wonderful he is?

"Are you mad at me?" he asks softly from my side.

"Oh, Eric, why would I be mad at you?"

"You look mad."

"I'm not mad at you," I say, kissing his cheek.

"Okay," he says. I don't think he believes me but I don't want to get into anything about his father right now. I thought Eric was doing better than this but being stressed out has brought his demons back to the surface. He did so well this past week when he couldn't see me because I had midterms. He wasn't sad like the week before. When I saw him briefly on Tuesday to have cake for Annika's real birthday, he seemed so happy.

"Did you sleep okay this week?" I ask, when the thought occurs to me that he most likely did not.

"Uh, not really."

"Why didn't you tell me that?"

"You were busy. I didn't want to bother you. I want you to do well in school, Sookie. You can't always come running to my rescue. I can handle my own fucking life!"

"Hey. Eric—"

"Shit. I'm sorry. I am so fucking stressed right now."

"It's okay. I'm kind of sorry I invited you along now," I say and he looks at me with furrowed brows, not understanding what I mean. "I didn't mean to make you so upset. Not that I don't want you here."

"I want to be here. I want to meet your family and I usually am fine with meeting people but that's only because I don't give a fuck what most people think of me. But these people, your friends and family, I...I want to make a good impression."

"Baby, your beautiful face makes a great first impression," I say, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"Look, Sookie, I appreciate that you think I'm handsome, but that doesn't solve all my fucking problems."

Well, shit. I haven't heard him curse this much in a long time since he decided to stop using bad language in front of Annika. He must be really stressed. We have to stop talking about this before I get mad at him because that is the last thing he needs.

"Okay, listen, you will be fine. You are an adult, just be polite. I don't really see what you could do to mess up. Jason is a mess and Gran loves him. Now, we're going to stop talking about this. Give me your hand and close your eyes."

He looks sort of taken aback at my demeanor and words but he does what I say. I pull his hand into my lap to massage it and he relaxes with his eyes closed. He soon falls asleep and he looks completely adorable with his head back and his mouth hanging open a little. I hope he sleeps for the rest of the flight.

Annika wakes up so I dig out her crackers and she has a snack. I entertain her with books until she starts asking to get down. Because the fasten seatbelt sign is currently off, we carefully climb over Eric—who sleeps like the dead and doesn't move even when Annika smacks him—and I walk with her up and down the aisle a few times. She makes friends with everyone who smiles at her, stopping to babble incoherently at them. She will talk to anyone as long as she is near Eric or me.

On our way back towards Eric, I see his body jolt and he suddenly stands up looking around. When he spots us, he instantly relaxes. He watches us come down the aisle with an intense look on his face. As soon as Annika spots him, she tears her hand from mine and after walking two steps and falling because she's trying to go too fast, she gets on her knees and crawls. He scoops her up and hugs her to his massive chest when she gets to him. As I make my way to them, I notice that practically the entire airplane is watching them. Eric draws people in so easily and it makes me even angrier that he is so nervous.

Eric lets me into my seat before he sits down with Annika on his lap once more. She asks for water, which she uses a sign for—Haley taught her a few, and while she's drinking I look at Eric with raised eyebrows. He knows what I'm asking.

"Nightmare," he says softly.

"I'm sorry," I say, rubbing his arm. I figured. At this point, I am feeling horrible for dragging him down to Louisiana with me. It's causing him a lot of worry. Hopefully, he'll have fun once he meets everyone and sees that they do like him.

The fasten seatbelt sign lights up and the announcement that we are approaching the airport is made. Eric visibly tenses, and well, I had figured he couldn't get any more tense but I was wrong.

We exit the gate area and I am on the immediate look-out for Gran and Jason. I spot Gran quickly and I can't keep the smile off of my face as I tug a nervous Eric along behind me.

"Gran!" I say, throwing my arms around her and inhaling her familiar scent. I love the way she smells. Just like home. We hug for a long time until I remember Eric is standing behind me and it's not very nice of me to just leave him there.

"Gran, this is Eric. Eric, Gran," I say.

Eric steps up and offers his hand. "It's a sincere pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Stackhouse," he says smoothly. And he was nervous!

"Pleasure to meet you too, Eric. Please call me Gran. Everyone does!" Gran smiles at him as she shakes his hand and then her eyes light up when she looks at Annika. Annika gives her a huge grin.

"This is my daughter, Annika," he says with an adorably proud smile. No matter how else he is feeling, he is always happy and proud when it comes to Annika.

"You sure are cute as a button!" Gran coos and Annika reaches for her. "Oh, you want to come see me, sugar? Aren't you precious!" Eric lets Gran take Annika and then he turns to me, smiling. I hug him and his body relaxes, which I am happy about.

"Where's Jason?" I ask, when I realize that he's missing.

"Oh you know Jason, he went to go get somethin' to eat. That boy is a bottomless pit!" says Gran, smiling. "Eric, dear, are you hungry? You look like you could put away some food, too."

Eric looks at me quickly with a small smile on his face. "Yes, ma'am, I could eat," he says. Damn, so polite.

"None of this ma'am nonsense, young man. Call me Gran! Ma'am is reserved for when one of my grandchildren gets in trouble," she says, winking.

Eric laughs. "Certainly not Sookie!" he says, putting his arm around me. I am so glad he's relaxing.

"Oh, Sookie caused her fair share of mischief. Especially when Jason got her up to no good!"

"What'd I do now?" says Jason, coming up behind me. I turn and he grabs me in a tight hug. "Sook! I missed ya, girl!"

"Jason!" I squeal. If there is anyone who brings out the little girl in me, it's Jason! "I'm so happy to see you!" He spins me around and I laugh like a fool. When he puts me down, I introduce Eric and Annika, who is still being held by Gran.

"Nice to meet you, Jason," says Eric. He tensed up again as soon as Jason appeared. Jason shakes his hand but he doesn't say anything until I pinch his arm.

"Ow, Sook! What's that for?" he complains.

"Eric's sayin' hello, Jason. Use your manners. I swear, you'd think he was raised in a barn!" says Gran.

"Nice to meet you too, Eric," Jason grumbles, half-heartedly.

Eric's face falls and I have the urge to kick Jason for his rudeness. Sometimes, he just doesn't get it.

"Eric and I have to get our bags," I say, leading Eric away to the baggage claim. Annika is happy with Gran and they are only across the room.

"Your brother hates me," mumbles Eric as soon as we walk away.

"Sometimes he's an idiot. He'll come around. He's just protective of me, is all."

"Hmm," he says, before he walks away because he spots Annika's luggage.

Damn Jason! He's going to hear from me about this!

"Did ya get everything?" says Gran when we come back with our bags.

"Yup! Here, Jase, carry this for me and I'll take the baby." I'm sure she's getting heavy for Gran since she's big for her age.

Gran hands her over and I walk by her side as we exit the airport. The boys are behind us pulling the luggage silently. I didn't think things would be so awkward with my brother.

"Jason will come around. You know how he is," whispers Gran.

"Yeah, I know but Eric was already nervous."

"A big handsome man like him? What's he have to be nervous about?"

I am about to answer when I hear from behind, "So, I hope you ain't plannin' ta knock my sister up like you knocked up your last girlfriend." Jason never knows when to shut his damn mouth. I whip around to face them only to see Eric's face cloud with hurt and anger. Shit! _Motherfucking_ Jason!

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**Thank you all for reading this story and for reviewing if you do! I really love to read them! I didn't get to personal thank yous last time so I'm sorry. I will for this chapter! I wanted to say thank you because you have gotten me to over 1000 reviews and that fact blows my mind a little! I used to dread writing in school and now I can't seem to get enough of it—though the subject matter is far more exciting now! LOL!**

**I have started a new story on my wordpress account. It will be a multi-chapter story but I'm not promising quick updates since I have other stories to finish. The story is called Getting It On and the Eric in the story is a far cry from the sweet and thoughtful Eric in Nanny. So if you like a filthy mouthed Eric and a quick tempered, tells it like it is Sookie, then please check it out. You can google my user name and wordpress or getting it on or fix this link to use it victoryintrouble dot wordpress dot com slash getting-it-on**


	41. Chapter 41

ERIC

I am shocked for a split second that Sookie's brother had the nerve to say something like that to me. And as I round on him, with my fists clenched, images of pummeling him into the ground run through my mind. But that's in my past. I no longer try to solve problems with violence.

"Jason," I say as calmly as I can. He steps back, wide-eyed as I step forward, taking a deep breath so I don't punch him. "My daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was with her mother for a long time and not that it is any of your business but she left us and I am doing the best I can raising Annika. Sookie means the world to me and I don't think she appreciates being talked about and I know I would appreciate if you would not disrespect her like that again. I love her and I know you do too so how about you show her that?"

I look up to see Sookie and Gran staring at me. Gran is clutching her sweater over her heart and Sookie is glaring, and I feel like an asshole because I couldn't keep my damn mouth shut. Annika looks how I feel so I walk over and take her gently from Sookie and hug her.

"Sorry," I mutter to Sookie, taking Annika with me as I walk away to the car rental counter on the other side of the airport. I just need to get away from everyone for a minute.

As I'm walking I hear Jason yell so I turn around to see both Sookie and her grandmother smacking him repeatedly on his head and arms. It makes me smile, though I don't think that's the way to solve problems either. But boy am I glad I'm not him right now.

"Annika," I sigh, as I walk with her to the back of the car rental line, "Why did we even come?" I dip my head to inhale her baby scent and kiss her tiny neck to soothe us both.

"I'm so sorry, Eric," Sookie says, coming up behind me. She rubs my back and I sigh. "Dammit," she mutters under her breath. I'm sure she wishes I never came too. Things would be much easier without me here.

"I'm sorry I couldn't keep my mouth shut," I say and Sookie looks up at my face with surprise on hers.

"_You're_ sorry you couldn't keep your mouth shut? _Jason_ is the one who needs to apologize for failing to keep his freakin' mouth shut!"

"He's only looking out for you, Sookie. Like you said, you're his little sister, he's just being protective. That's what big brothers do." I should know. I'd want to protect my little sibling from someone like me too.

"Eric..." she sighs, laying her head on my arm. "Eric, no. Jason was rude and he needs to apologize to you. What you said to him was actually polite considering what he said to you."

"He didn't say anything that wasn't true," I say, moving up in line. "Why should he trust me? I'm just a fuck-up who has a baby with no mother."

"Oh my god, Eric! You are not! Oh my god, I'm gonna kill Jason!"

"He's your brother, Sookie. I'm sure he means well."

"Eric, look at me," she says softly. When I do, she brings her hand up to pet my face the way I like. As I look into her eyes, it becomes just me and her, everything else falls away. She hugs me close to her body and reaches on tiptoe to whisper in my ear. "Eric Northman, I love you. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You are not a fuck-up and I don't ever want to hear you call yourself that again! Got it?"

I step back from her and smile at her feisty words. "Got it, Tink," I say, using Pam's fitting nickname for her.

"Good," she says as a grin spreads across her lovely face. "Are you okay? Are you sorry you came?"

"I'll be okay." I might be a bit sorry I came but I won't tell her that.

It's my turn in line so I step up to the counter to rent a vehicle for the week. We don't want to have to rely on Gran for transportation and Sookie says her old car is too small for a carseat. I decide to rent an SUV since renting is my only chance to drive one. I'm kind of dreading going back to face Sookie's grandmother and brother. I don't really know what to say to them.

It turns out I have nothing to worry about. As I walk up to them, Gran grabs me in a tight hug and whispers, "You'll have to excuse my grandson. Sometimes he has all the charm of a bear in church. You don't pay him no mind, alright?"

"Yes, ma'am, uh Gran. Thanks," I say.

"I, uh, shouldn'ta said what I said, Eric. No hard feelin's?" says Jason coming up to me with his hand outstretched.

I shake his hand and smile. "No hard feelings."

After brief goodbyes, we head out to the rental car and Gran and Jason head to Jason's truck. We'll meet up at Sookie's house.

"We're going to have fun here this week, Eric," Sookie says to me as we drive.

"Hmm," I say.

"Don't 'hmm' me, Eric! You'll see," she says, poking my side so I'll smile.

"Okay, okay! I'm just tired."

I glance over to see her face fall. She hates when I don't sleep well and I know she feels guilty when she isn't there to sleep with me but I understand, which is why I try not to tell her.

"Baby, I wish you would have told me you weren't sleeping. I could have come over once or twice to sleep next to you." She caresses my thigh to soothe me but it pretty much does the opposite and sends heat to my groin.

"Sookie, you're making me horny. I also didn't get enough of you last week and now this week I'll have none of you. Please don't touch me like that. I'm like a coiled snake, ready to strike."

Sookie makes a funny noise and then clears her throat. "God, Eric, don't say things like that. You think you're the only horny one?" I look over to see her biting her bottom lip and staring at my crotch and I chuckle at her eagerness.

"Shh, I'm calling my brother," she says dialing her cell phone. "Hello? Gran?"

I wonder what she is up to as I listen to her end of the conversation.

"Yeah, we're fine...No, we're still right behind you...Well, Annika is fussy because she needs a change so we're going to stop at the next rest stop and then we'll just meet you at home."

Annika is asleep so that means Sookie is lying to her grandmother for some reason. Hmm.

"Oh, no! You go on ahead...Yeah...Okay, see you at home...Love you too, bye."

"Did you just lie to Gran? Sookie Stackhouse you are a troublemaker," I tease, giving her a stern look.

"I know. I'm a horrible granddaughter. Pull over at that rest stop coming up."

"Why Sookie, do you plan to take advantage of me at a secluded rest stop, you bad girl?"

Sookie laughs and puts a firm hand on my knee. "Yes, sir," she purrs, "You look a little tense."

My foot presses down harder on the accelerator and soon we are parked at a very deserted rest stop. It might be creepy if it were night time.

"So, Mr. Northman, can I relieve some of your stress?"

"Why Miss Stackhouse, what did you have in mind?" I know we're silly but she is just so much fun.

"Well, I'm very good with my mouth, sir," she says, reaching over to glide her fingers up my thigh. My cock is already hard, has been since her hand landed on my knee, so when her fingers skim over it, she purrs. "Mmm, already so thick for me."

She unzips me and tugs my pants down a little so I lift my ass so she can pull them further. Not too far, since we're in public, but just far enough to release me.

"Oh my god, Sookie. Fuck," I say quietly when she lowers her mouth onto me. So I do feel a little weird getting my dick sucked in the car with my baby but she is facing the other way and she's asleep so I think it's fine.

It doesn't take long for me to cum, both because it's been a while without her and because of the excitement of the forbidden place. I know we just had sex at home but before that, it had been a week since I was inside Sookie.

"You are the absolute best, angel. Thank you."

"Well, that wasn't very angelic was it?" she laughs.

I laugh with her. "Guess not. But you brought me to heaven so..."

"Oh my gosh," she groans, "So cheesy!"

"Can I?" I ask, moving my hand to her lap.

"Please," she whispers, unzipping her pants and spreading her legs.

"Pull them down a little, my hands are too big," I say, and when she does, I reach into her panties to rub her. "Fuck, Sookie, you're so wet. I fucking love how wet you always are."

Sookie moans and starts to breathe hard. I don't have enough room to slide a finger inside her so I just concentrate on rubbing her clit. When she starts to get loud I have to remind her to quiet down because we're in the car. A big pick-up truck pulls in a space away from us but Sookie doesn't even notice. I just grin at the man who gets out. He looks shocked for a second but quickly scurries away to the bathrooms. I'm fairly certain all he can see is Sookie's pretty head thrown back and my top half hovering next to her.

"Sookie, cum for me angel, or you're about to be on display." I'm hoping she'll climax before that guy gets back. He doesn't need to watch.

"Fuck, Eric!" she gasps as she writhes in her seat. She squeezes my hand between her thighs so I have a hard time rubbing her but she doesn't seem to mind. When she comes down and lets me go, I immediately suck on my fingers and groan.

"I guess that's one way to clean up," she says, blushing.

"Mmm, you swallowed me. I just wish I could get my tongue down there to lap up all that honey pouring out of you."

She groans and wrinkles her nose so I suck my finger and pop it out of my mouth loudly.

We both laugh as I put the car in gear and pull back onto the highway to go to Sookie's house. We end up pulling up to her house right after Jason, who is grumbling about how slow Gran makes him drive.

Sookie's house is huge. I've only ever lived in apartments or condos so this rambling farmhouse with its wrap around porch is nothing like I've been in before.

"This is a beautiful house, Sookie. The sunshine color suits you."

She smiles at me and grabs my hand once I extract Anni from her seat and we walk up the porch stairs together. Gran and Jason are already inside and Gran asks from the kitchen if I want anything to eat. I look at Sookie because if she isn't eating I will wait.

"Sure, Gran!" Sookie calls. "Do you have any pie?"

"Sure do! Chocolate silk and pecan and I'm fixing to make an apple pie tomorrow. Should I cut you a slice of pecan, Sookie? How about you, Eric?"

"I'll take a slice of chocolate, Gran!" yells Jason from where he parked himself in front of the television.

"Jason Stackhouse, you go outside and help Eric bring the bags inside the house! Then you'll get some pie."

"Yes, ma'am," he mutters, standing reluctantly.

"It's okay, Jason," I say, handing Annika to Sookie, "I can get them."

"No, come on. Gran'll just get mad if I don't help ya'll."

"Alright, thanks," I say uncomfortably.

We walk outside and I pop the trunk on my rental car and silently pull the bags out, setting them down on the gravel drive. Jason grabs two bags, leaving two for me and we head inside with them. Just before we reach the door, Jason stops, sets his bags down and turns around with his arms folded. Fuck, what now?

"Listen, Eric," he says in a quiet voice, "I know I said somethin' wrong at the airport about you and your baby mama but still, I'm Sookie's big brother and I need to look out for her. You're a big fella, so I ain't gonna threaten you or nothin' but treat Sookie right, alright? She deserves it."

"She does deserve it and honestly, she deserves a hell of a lot better than me...But I love her and I would never hurt her."

Jason's steely gaze scrutinizes me for another second before he nods his head, unfolds his arms, and picks up the suitcases. He walks inside without another word.

When I get inside Sookie gives me a questioning look and I smile to reassure her that everything is fine. I actually admire Jason's concern. Sookie is lucky to have him.

"Come on and eat some pie. Leave those suitcases for a minute and sit yourself down," says Gran from the kitchen table. I walk over and she hands me a plate with small slices of both kinds of pie.

"Thank you, just what I would have chosen," I say before sitting down and digging in. Sookie has Annika on her lap and Annika wants some pie too.

"I don't know what to give her, darlin'. Do you want to give her some of your chocolate so she doesn't have the pecans?"

"Oh, chocolate...she's never had either one so maybe—"

"I know just what she would like," says Gran, getting up. "Would you like some sugared apples, sweetheart? Is that alright, Eric? I have some apples for the pie that she could have."

Sookie looked over at me when she heard the nickname I hate but it honestly did not bother me to hear my daughter called that. I smile quickly at Sookie and squeeze her hand. "Sure, that would be great," I say and Gran hands me a small plate of soft cinnamon apples that smell so good I want to eat them myself instead of give them to Anni.

"Gran, you got any extra of that for me?" asks Jason, echoing my unspoken sentiments exactly.

"Jason, you have already had full-sized pieces of both pies. You wait until tomorrow. You can have the apple pie after church."

Oh fuck. Church. Oh, I probably shouldn't curse while thinking about church. Shit. Oh.

"What the matter?" Sookie whispers.

"Nothing," I whisper back.

"You don't have to go."

"I'll go."

Once we are done with the pie, Jason helps us bring the bags up the stairs and takes them into a room that could not be anyone's but Sookie's. It's light and airy and sunshiney and it makes me happy just to be inside it.

"What?" says Sookie, watching me closely.

"Nothing. It's just really _you_."

"How so?" she asks with a hint of a smile on her face and a cute blush on her cheeks.

"It's...happy," I say, moving toward her. "It's pretty and inviting and warm. It's sunshine," I whisper. "You." Running my knuckles over her flushed cheek, I lean down to kiss her softly and hear Jason clear his throat from the doorway. I forgot he was there.

"Um, Gran ain't gonna like it too much if ya'll are fuckin' in Sookie's old room. Hell, I ain't gonna like it either."

"Relax, Jase, it was just a kiss," says Sookie, grinning at her brother's discomfort. It's a good thing Annika is downstairs finishing her apples—and humming away—because I might have to tell Jason to watch his mouth.

"Fine, well, just so long as it stays that way."

"Jason Stackhouse, you have no business tellin' me what I can and cannot do with my own boyfriend! This is my room and I'm an adult! Don't you have anywhere else you can be?"

Shit. Jason gets called by his full name a whole lot. I would not want to be him, with his mouth, living with these two fiery women.

"Fine, Sook, I'm leavin'. Will I see ya'll later at Merlotte's?"

I look at Sookie. "Merlotte's?"

"The bar and grill where I used to work. It's pretty much the only place in town to hang out. Jason's going with his buddy Hoyt and my friend Lafayette should be working." She raises her eyebrows in question.

"Sure, but what about Annika?"

"Well, you could bring her, we'll go early enough or Gran could watch her."

"Well, see ya'll. I gotta go," says Jason. Sookie gives him a hug and he nods stiffly to me as he walks out.

"I don't know if I want to leave Anni so soon after we got here. I trust your Gran but I think she'd be more comfortable in a strange place if she stuck with me."

"She's okay downstairs with Gran right now, but it's your choice."

"Am I being too uptight?"

"No, of course not. It would probably be different if she saw you leave the house. So we'll just go eat an early supper there and we'll be home in plenty of time for bedtime, alright?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

When we get downstairs after putting our suitcases away, there is a knock on the door. Sookie peeks out and smiles a huge smile as she opens the door.

"Tara!" she screams, throwing her arms around the girl at the door.

"Sookie! I missed you, girl!"

"I missed you too! I'm so glad you came over!"

"Well, I had to see you and meet this tall drink of water I heard so much about." She looks up at me and then her eyes sweep down my body and all the way back up. Shit, that's uncomfortable. "Damn, girl! You done good!"

Sookie laughs and shushes her. "Eric, this is my best friend in the entire world, Tara Thornton. Tara, this is my boyfriend, Eric Northman."

"It's really great to meet you, Tara," I say, shaking her hand.

"You don't sound Swedish," she says, which makes me laugh.

"I've lived here for a long time. My accent is mostly gone."

"Well, where is this sweet baby I've heard so much about?" she says, looking around.

"In here, Tara," calls Gran from the kitchen table where Anni is still eating her apples. "Come and see this precious child."

We walk with Tara into the kitchen where she talks to Gran and Annika. Annika is always happy to chat incoherently with people so she is in her element with three ladies to dote on her.

After a while of small talk, Sookie asks Tara if she wants to come to Merlotte's so we make a plan to meet there in a half hour. When Tara goes home, Sookie goes to shower quickly and change. It takes everything in me to resist following her up the stairs and getting into the shower with her. Damn, I'm going to miss her wet naked body in the shower this week.

"Eric, I would love to watch this little one if you and Sookie would like to go out. Maybe tomorrow night once she gets used to me and the house?"

"Thank you so much for the offer, Gran. That's very kind of you."

"Oh, it's no bother. She is just so sweet and talkin' up a storm! What a marvelous job you have done raising such a happy girl!"

"Thank you," I say, feeling a little embarrassed at her praise. Annika is finished so I pick her up, happy for the reprieve, and wash her hands at the kitchen sink. "I'm going to go change her to get ready to go," I say.

I walk upstairs hoping to catch a glimpse of naked Sookie and I am in luck. She has a terrycloth robe on that I've never seen and I walk in just in time to see her open it to put on her panties.

"Mmm, wait, don't cover that," I say.

"Eric, we have ten minutes before we have to leave. Keep your sex thoughts to yourself and get dressed."

"I am dressed. I was just coming to change Annika because it's kind of hot and she has apple all over her. Why, should I change?"

"Well, you might be overdressed slightly but it's fine if you want to wear that." She pulls on little pants, the ones that don't come all the way down and takes off the robe to put on her bra.

"Sookie, please. You're killing me. If I see them, you know I will want to touch them."

She stands still and looks at me. "Well, come on then."

I grin and put Annika down. Stalking over to Sookie, I give her my best predator look as I reach out and grab her. "Mmm," I groan, dropping my face into her cleavage and moving my head a little back and forth.

She giggles and pets my hair but when I lick her nipple she steps back from me. "Get ready, baby. We have to go."

I quickly change Annika's diaper and dress her in one of the pink outfits that Pam bought for her. I grab her a sweater and stuff it into her bag in case it gets cold later and then strip my clothes off. Sookie is dressed by the time I do that. She looks beautiful and sunny in her yellow tank top. I like that the warmer weather means she wears less clothing.

"Oh, that's not fair! Those are the little red boxers that I fell in lust with. Let me touch your butt. Your butt looks scrumptious in those," Sookie groans.

"Only a little feel, I'm not a piece of meat, you know," I say, grinning. She comes over and skims her palm over my ass. This is doing nothing good for my distress at not being able to have sex with her all week. This is making me extremely horny. "Okay, you have to stop before I throw you onto your bed."

Sookie laughs and grabs Annika. "We'll be downstairs. You might want to calm your little self down before you join us," she says gesturing to my erection. I can't help it! She touched my ass.

"Little?" I ask playfully as she closes the door. I can hear her giggling all the way down the stairs. Dressing quickly in black jeans and a dark shirt, I am downstairs in less than five minutes and we are on our way to Merlotte's five minutes later.

* * *

><p>SOOKIE<p>

Tonight better be fun. Eric needs fun. He does not need anymore stupid shit spewed at him by my delightful brother. He needs fun and then a good night sleep. As we pull up to Merlotte's I take a deep breath and turn to Eric. "Okay, um, this is a very small town in a very Southern state. There are many many characters in this place. I swear Bon Temps has a portal to another dimension because all these people can't have just been born here. Just keep an open mind, alright? I want you to like my town but even I don't like a lot of these people so just keep that in mind okay?"

"Sookie, it will be fine. I'm not a snob," he says. I know he's not a snob but some of the townsfolk are...interesting.

"Alright, come on," I say, steeling myself and taking his hand in mine as we enter Merlotte's. As soon as we walk in, every set of eyes in the place is trained on us. Sam looks up from the bar and gives me a huge smile. He rushes towards me and grabs me. It takes Eric a second to let go of my hand and then Sam has me spinning in his arms. I laugh, because, I mean, what are you supposed to do when someone spins you around? "Sam!" I yell and he puts me down, taking both my hands and standing back to look at me. I only just saw him at Christmas, I don't know why he's acting like I just came home from war.

"Sookie! It's so good to see you! We missed you around here. I always say that Merlotte's has never been the same since your smile left us."

Sam seems not to even notice that I walked in on the arm of another man—and his baby.

"Sam, can I introduce you to my boyfriend? This is Eric Northman and his daughter Annika. Eric, this is Sam Merlotte, he owns this place and was my boss when I worked here."

"Pleasure," says Eric and I can't help but notice that he does not seem to be exuding any emotion that would suggest it actually _was_ a pleasure.

"Same," says Sam. He's not all that happy either. Oh for fuck's sake. I can do without these pissing contests. Especially because there is no contest where Eric is concerned. I choose him. Always.

"So Sam, can we get a seat or are we gonna have to stand up while we eat?" I tease.

"Oh, sorry, cher. Follow me. I'll get you seated."

We follow Sam to a table across from Jason and Hoyt and Hoyt comes over to introduce himself to Eric. Hoyt is the sweetest man and his introduction contains no animosity or threat. He invites Eric to play some pool sometime later and Eric says he will see. I notice Sam lingering at our table and I just shake my head. The man just does not take a hint. I'm here with my boyfriend and he is still hanging around.

"You can hang out with Hoyt and Jase if you want. I can take Anni home and I'm sure one of them will drop you home."

"Um, maybe. I still don't think your brother likes me."

"Well, think about it. You deserve to have some fun. Let loose, let your hair down," I smile.

"Yes," he says, shaking his head and letting his imaginary hair fly. "Sure, maybe."

I see Tara walk in so I wave her over to our table. "Tara works at Merlotte's part time and goes to school. We have been friends forever," I tell Eric who nods and smiles. He's very focused on the menu and I feel bad because he's probably really hungry. "Get the burger Lafayette. So good! Lafayette is the cook and Tara's cousin. He's a good friend too."

Tara sits down next to me, across from Eric and Annika. "Lafayette should be here a little later. Trust me, you will know it when he arrives. Always in style, that one."

Dawn comes over to the table with a megawatt smile for Eric and a blank look for me and Tara. Still a bitch, I see.

"Well hello doll, what can I get you? You look like you could eat a horse, what with you bein' so big and tall."

"Dawn, this is my boyfriend, Eric. Nice to see you again as always," I say in a chilly voice. Eric is trying not to smile, I can tell. I have a mind to kick him under the table. He might think it's funny to be flirted with now but he's going to get sick of it pretty fast.

"Eric, so nice to meet you. I guess the big city life agrees with you, Sookie."

We order our food quickly to get Dawn away from our table. Eric ordered sweet tea even though I told him it's really sweet. He says he likes mine but mine is nothing compared to what he will get here. I ordered a glass of water because I think he will need it.

Good thing too. As soon as the drinks come, Eric takes a huge swig of tea and makes such a face. "Oh my god! That's like pure sugar," he complains.

Laughing, I tell him, "I told you."

"I didn't believe you! How can anyone drink this stuff?" He takes my water when I offer and gulps down half of it.

Hoyt comes to ask Eric to play some pool with Jason and another friend and Eric agrees, kissing both me and Annika before he goes, with the instruction to tell him right away when our food arrives. Hoyt grabs his basket of fries and offers Eric some as they walk to the pool table. I have a feeling he and Eric will be good friends.

Tara and I talk school and men and what's new while I keep an eye on Annika and sneak a few peeks at Eric to make sure he's having fun. I know he can take care of himself but I feel sort of responsible for him since I invited him and he's in my hometown. He seems to be having fun. He's smiling and talking—to Hoyt and their friend at least. Jason is still being a stubborn ass with his arms crossed. I might have to have another talk with him. A talk involving my hands connecting with his thick skull.

By the time our food comes, Eric is halfway into his game so I bring him his food and tell him it's fine if he wants to keep playing. I just want my baby to have fun and relax. Besides, I'm having fun catching up with Tara

"Thanks, angel," he says, laying a kiss on me. He tastes like beer but I hadn't realized he was drinking. When he pats my ass as I walk away I wonder just how many he has had. He has basically an empty stomach so I'm glad he will be filling it with food.

"He is one fine man," Tara says wistfully when I sit back down.

"I got so lucky with him, Tara. He is way out of my league!"

"What are you talking about? He's gorgeous but so are you, Sookie."

"Well, thanks. How about you? Any love interests at school or anything?"

"Maybe. There is this one guy but he has this dumb jock vibe and I'm not really into that. I haven't talked much to him, though."

"Well, don't let appearances deceive you. If I went by first impressions, I would never be with Eric. I thought he was a huge jerk."

"Can I give her a fry?" Tara asks, looking at Annika. "I think she really wants one."

Anni is staring at Tara as she eats her fries and ignoring her own macaroni and cheese. "Sure, I guess that's fine."

"Here you go, baby," she says, handing Anni a french fry. "Oh my god, she's adorable. She's humming!"

"She likes that fry," I laugh. Between the cinnamon apples and the fries, Annika is in food heaven. I hope Eric isn't upset when she never eats a balanced meal again!

"So, Eric was a jerk when you met?"

"He had a temper and he was just kind of an arrogant jerk. But that is so totally opposite of the real him. So maybe get to know this guy before you decide. Who knows...it could be a match made in heaven."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Tara and I talk as we eat and when we are finished, Eric is still playing pool and having a great time. He has come to check with me a couple times but I keep telling him to go have fun. He agrees that he wants to stay so when Annika is ready to go I take her home after saying goodbye. We spend a quiet night in with Gran, who dotes on Anni like she's her own grandchild.

After bathing her I put her to bed in the portable crib Arlene let Gran borrow. I fall asleep quickly after she does. Traveling is really tiring and I am in a deep sleep when my phone rings. Flipping on my light, I see that it's two o'clock in the morning. I assume it's Eric but it's not his number on my screen.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Is this Sookie Stackhouse?"

"Yes?" Who the heck is calling me at this hour? Dread hits my stomach like a mack truck. Eric is still not back.

"This is Kevin from the police department. We have an Eric Northman here who says he's your boyfriend and that you will come to pick him and your brother, Jason, up. They are both intoxicated and cannot drive home. We are going to need you to transport them or they will be spending the night here. Will you be coming down?"

My head is spinning thinking of all the reasons why my boyfriend and my brother would be drunk and at the police station. "Uh, yeah. I'll be there right away!" I say, standing up to pull on some clothes. If there is anyone who can get a responsible man like Eric into trouble, it's my brother, Jason. Fuck!

* * *

><p><strong>Jason is just a big mess a trouble isn't he? LOL. Do you wonder what happened? Wanna see a drunk Eric? :)<strong>

**Thanks for reading! I loved all your reviews about Jason!**

**There are currently four chapters of Getting It On on my Wordpress site. Search 'victoryintrouble getting it on' to read. Thanks!**


	42. Chapter 42

**I can't get this to post on wordpress for some reason so before I throw my computer(heh), I will just post here first and try again on wordpress some other time. I had a lot of fun writing this guy's drunk escapades so I hope you enjoy reading about them!**

* * *

><p>ERIC<p>

As soon as Sookie goes home with Annika and leaves me with Jason, Hoyt, and their friend Buddy, we start drinking again. Now that I have food in my stomach, I should be fine. I did get a little buzzed before my burger came. Hoyt buys a round of beer and we're playing pool so we are not drinking heavily or getting drunk or anything.

As Jason racks up for a new game, a big guy with a headscarf, a purple tank top that barely covers his chest, and tight ass jeans walks in.

"I's fuckin' here, hookas. Let the party begin!" he says, looking all around with his arms out. I think he even snapped.

Sam looks up from the bar where he and Tara are making drinks. "'Bout fuckin' time, Lafayette! You're late!"

"Calm it down, boss man. I's here isn't I?"

Lafayette. Tara's cousin. Yup, definitely noticeable. He is very unlike anybody else in here. I instantly like him.

He walks by us at the pool table and then stops, doubles back, and stands directly in front of me. "And who might you be? You so fine I wanna put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!" He mimes taking a bite out of something.

I smile. A biscuit? Reaching my hand out I say, "Eric Northman. I'm Sookie's boyfriend. She told me you would be in later. Pleasure to meet you."

"The _pleasure_...is mine. Damn! Sookie done good!"

"Thanks," I say, laughing.

"What'd she leave you all alone with all these country boys for? What are you drinking? Let Lala look after you."

He walks away before I can answer him and comes back with a bottle of Patrón Silver and a tray of shot glasses.

Hell, I'm not going to refuse a nice shot of Patrón...or five. Lafayette and the other guys join me and we pretty much drink the whole bottle.

"Alright, Lafayette, maybe you could do what I pay you for and start cooking," says Sam, crossing his arms and staring at us with disapproval all over his face. This guy likes Sookie. I could tell from the first look he gave her. Fucking prick. He's been a dick all night. Just giving me attitude whenever I order anything. Whatever. He's not worth my time.

"Thanks for the drinks, Lafayette," I say, shaking his hand.

"Anytime sugar. If you get bored, you just call Lala. Lala will take care of you."

I laugh and thank him and he goes back into the kitchen I assume.

I walk up to Sam and hand him a hundred dollar bill. "For the Patrón. Don't take it out of his pay."

Sam takes the money with a nod and tries to hand me back a twenty.

"Keep it. And lighten the fuck up," I say, turning back to the pool table before Sam can say anything.

At about this time, I start to feel the effects of all the alcohol I've had. Everything is just a little bit funnier, everyone a little bit nicer.

"Fellas," says Jason, with a cheshire cat smile, "Should we make this a little more interesting?"

"What do you have in mind?" says Hoyt. Hoyt is a really nice guy. He's kinda shy but talkative and he's being much nicer to me than Jason is.

"Twenty bucks says Buddy and me win the next game. Time to wager now before we're all too shitfaced to hold the fuckin' cue stick."

"Jason, somethin' tells me that you ain't never gonna be too shitfaced to hold your stick," Buddy says, grabbing his crotch through his jeans.

"You got that fuckin' right!" laughs Jason.

Dawn, that sorta flirty waitress comes over to check on us for the third or fourth time.

"Can I get you somethin' else, handsome?" she says, looking up at me. She's cute but a little too used looking for me to be interested in even if I didn't have the best girl in the world at home.

"How about another pitcher? My treat," I ask to enthusiastic agreement.

"Sure thing, sweetheart," she says walking to the bar, and I cringe because the syrupy sweet tone to that nick name is both familiar and undesired.

"I fucked that," says Jason, walking up to my side.

"From what I hear, none of the women of Bon Temps have been safe from your charms," I tease.

"Only the ugly ones," says Jason, clapping me on the back with a laugh.

By the time the pitcher is finished, I feel pretty well wasted. But that doesn't stop me from drinking some more. My judgement is impaired already so becoming more impaired is easy to do.

Some random group of dumb looking guys comes up wanting to play pool and apparently Jason and Hoyt don't like these guys.

"We're playin'," growls Jason.

"Yeah, well when you gonna be done?" says one of the other guys, stepping into Jason's personal space.

"When we fuckin' wanna be!" he grits out, stepping up.

Shit. Jason is pissed and is not backing down. Because I'm drunk it seems like a great fucking idea to stand next to Jason in case things get hairy. Also, I'm big so I tend to intimidate people.

"What the fuck do you want, stretch?" says the puny and fucking stupid man as his friends stand next to him. Hoyt comes over looking pretty nervous and I can tell he'd be useless in a fight.

"Back the fuck off," I say. "We'll be done soon." Yup, that's the alcohol talking.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"He's Sookie's boyfriend, visiting from Boston," says Hoyt. Maybe he's trying to be helpful but this fucker in front of me doesn't need to know anything about me.

"Oh, a city boy. What are you doing with Sookie? She's a fine piece of ass but she's as uptight as they come. Crazy bitch hated all of us in high school, didn't she boys?" he says to his friends.

"The fuck did you just call my sister?" says Jason stepping right into the asshole's face, nose to nose.

"You need to apologize right the fuck now!" I growl.

"Fuck you. I ain't sorry. Bookie Sookie thought she was too good for the boys at home. Got herself a city boy," he says, smiling. He thinks he's real fucking funny.

I blame the alcohol for my lapse in judgement as I shove the guy backwards. He goes careening back and lands on his ass. His friends step in front of him, into my face...well, my neck because they lack my height.

"Hey! Hey ya'll, this needs to stop!" yells Sam, practically running over. He hauls the dumbass up by the back of his shirt and pushes him. "Get the fuck outta here, Royce, and take your stupid friends with you. I don't need no fightin' in my bar!"

Damn. Sam is stronger than he looks. The guys grumble as they leave and before they walk out the door, the one I shoved glares at me. Does he think I'm intimidated? I'm not. I've beaten the shit out of men much bigger than him. Back when I was young and angry and used my fists instead of my brain.

"Let me buy you a shot, Eric," says Jason. "If you hadn't of shoved that one, I woulda!"

"Fuckers," I mutter. I'm already fucking drunk...may as well have some more. "Thanks, what are you having?"

"Jäger?"

"Bring it."

The rest of the night is pretty much a blur. Well until Hoyt's pissed off mother comes to collect him. I have never seen a woman so mad or a grown man so cowed by his mom. Apparently someone called her and told her about our almost fight and even though her boy had nothing to do with it, she drags him home sputtering about Jesus and what everyone would think of her if Hoyt got into a fight.

"Wow," I say as she pushes him out the door. By this time, we are just sitting around. Fending off the ladies as Jason keeps saying. We're mainly talking to Tara and occasionally Sam when he removes the stick in his ass momentarily. He always shoves it right back in. I think Tara likes Jason and in my drunken state I say so.

"Naw man," he says. "We're just friends, right Tara? Me and Tara's known each other all our lives."

Tara just smiles but I realize she doesn't agree with him. She likes him. I can tell. "Whatever you say," I slur.

Jason stiffens as he looks at the door to Merlotte's so I turn in the direction he's looking and see the stupid motherfucker who insulted my woman come walking back in. He must be really fucking stupid or he thought we'd be gone by now. I wonder what time it is. Probably really late.

He sees us but just keeps walking in. He's only with one other guy now and I could waste both their asses with one arm.

"Motherfuckers," Jason mutters, getting up.

I follow him because, well, I'm drunk, and Jason and I have bonded over booze, pool, and defending Sookie. So if he's in it, I'm in it.

"Take it outside," says Sam.

"Gladly," says Jason, in the face of fucker number one.

Fucker number two holds the door open and as I pass him I lean down quickly into his face and he flinches. Asswipe.

"Jason," I say when we get outside, "I'm a mean drunk, which is why I don't drink. Well, mean or horny, but since we won't be fucking these guys, don't let me kill anybody." I say it loudly enough for the fuckers to hear me. I'm trying to scare them, but it's also true what I said. I woke up countless times in my early twenties with bloody knuckles, bruises, and no fucking idea what happened the night before.

"Whatever, City. You probably can't fight anyway. We country boys was raised on fightin'. That little piece of ass you're dating worth gettin' _your_ ass kicked?"

"Is he calling me City?" I ask Jason with a big grin on my face.

"Yup. And I'm pretty sure he called my sister a piece of ass. Is that what you said, fuck-head?"

"Look at you, all rhyming and shit. I think this fucker is underestimating my size, Jason. What do you think?"

"I think you're right, Eric. Cuz yer a big fella. I sure as hell wouldn't want to be on your bad side."

I laugh because he used to be on my bad side...or me on his. "I wouldn't want to be on your bad side either," I say.

"Why don't you two just fuck and get it over with. You're really _his_ boyfriend, aren't you?" fucker number one says. This fucker never knows when to shut his mouth. The other one seems to never open his.

"What do you say Jason? Am I really your boyfriend?" I grin.

"Well, you're pretty an all...but I like my boyfriends a little smaller. Makes things easier," he winks.

I just about double over laughing at that and I'm still laughing as fucker number one opens his mouth again.

"That's not what Sookie thinks. She said the bigger the better. That's why she couldn't get enough of my dick."

"Say somethin' else about my sister. I dare you!" says Jason with surprising calm.

I am not feeling so calm. My hands are clenched, my knuckles ready to be bloodied. This fucker must be on something if he thinks messing with me and Jason is good for his health or his life span.

"Well, when I used to pinch her ass in the hallway at school, she seemed to like it."

White-hot, blinding rage courses through my body and as I rush forward, intent on beating this asshole until he lies bloody on the ground, Jason pushes past me and punches him in the nose and then the mouth. The guy hits the ground hard. His friend runs to his side and just then the fucking cops pull up. Fucking great!

All the fight rushes out of me and everybody freezes and the police officers exit their car, hands on their weapons. Shit. That's the last thing I fucking need—to get shot, out in the country. I doubt Pam would even come here for my funeral.

"Everybody just calm down. Jason, you back up from Royce and Wayne. Big blonde guy, you too."

"That's me. I'm big blonde guy," I tell Jason as if he didn't know. Alcohol is making me talk too much. At least my legs are carrying me away from fucker one and two.

"Sir," says the woman cop who was talking before. I look at her and give her my best disarming smile. It usually works for me. Not this time. "Sir, do you have ID? Jason, is he with you?"

"I'm with Sookie," I say, walking toward her.

Her hand clutches her gun more tightly and she steps back. "Sir, you are a big guy and I'm gonna have to ask you to stand still. Slowly get out your ID."

"Kenya, he ain't gonna hurt nobody. He's just a big ol' pussy cat, ain't ya, Eric?" Jason laughs which makes me laugh and the cop scowl. I think both of us might die tonight.

"Jason, shut the hell up, would you? Eric? Is that your name? Take out your ID, Eric. Do it now."

I do as she says and slowly hand it over. She looks in my wallet for a long minute.

Her face softens but then she looks up at me, shaking her head. "Honey, you need to make better decisions than gettin' in fist fights with Jason Stackhouse. That baby of yours is too precious for her daddy to end up in jail."

"Yes, ma'am," I say, hanging my head. I'm a shit father tonight. I let Sookie take my baby home so I could play pool and drink. And now I'm in trouble with the police. What the fuck is my problem? "Skit! Jag är ledsen. Jag vet inte vad jag tänkte." (Shit! I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.)

Jason gives me a funny look. "Shit, Kenya, lay offa him. He's raisin' his baby all alone and all he wanted to do was let loose for one night. He ain't even hit nobody."

"Alright Jason, Detective Bellefleur will take your statements down at the station because there's no way we're lettin' you drive home. We'll have to call someone to come get you."

"Motherfucker!" Jason grumbles.

Detective Scowly puts us in the police car and for some reason it's the funniest thing that has ever happened to me. I can't stop laughing and every time I think I've calmed myself down enough, I look over at Jason and start up again. I really am trying to stop because my stomach hurts and the cop is glaring at me.

"Eric," slurs Jason, "Eric, we're goin' ta jail!" Jason says seriously. After half a second, he dissolves into giggles again and so do I.

"Ow, my fucking stomach," I say, hunched over and clutching it.

"Ya'll are not goin' to jail. We're just gonna call someone to come pick you up. But stop all the laughing for shit's sake!" says the pissed off cop in the front seat.

That just makes us both laugh louder and the cop grumble under his breath which makes us laugh even more. I'm going to throw up if I can't stop.

"Shit, Eric. I'm gonna... puke if we... don't stop," he says between giggles.

"Me too," I laugh. "Don't look at me and I won't look at you. Deep breaths."

It takes us until we reach the station to calm down, which isn't too long since the officer starts driving really fast when he hears the word 'puke.'

"Alright, guys, sit down here in these chairs and why don't you tell me what happened tonight?" says Andy as soon as we get inside the station. It took him a long time to figure out where the door was...or maybe it was me and Jason wandering around outside.

"Hey, Eric, you wanna tell him what happened?"

"Some people claim that there's a woman to blame..." I sing.

"But I know...it's nobody's fault," Jason finishes while I do the back-up instruments.

We start laughing again but then Jason starts the beginning of _Margaritaville_ and I join in. The officer is about to have a stroke or something. He's trying to tell us to shut-up but come on! We started the song; we have to sing the whole thing. Jason puts his arm around me and we sway back and forth in our seats singing at the top of our lungs until the song is finished.

Once we are quiet for a minute, the officer comes back into the room. He left in a huff halfway through the song.

"Now, look ya'll—the faster you give me your statements, the faster you can go home. Don't you want to go home or would you rather be locked up here all night?"

"I don't wanna go home, Andy," grumbles Jason. "I ain't got no one warmin' my bed tonight."

"Aw, Jason, you only had to ask," I say and we melt into laughter all over again.

"Can it, you two! I've had just about enough outta you!"

"Sorry," I mumble. "I do wanna go home. I got a hot girlfriend in my...well, her...bed."

"Sorry, Eric. Sookie ain't gonna let you fuck her if you're drunk."

"How do you know?" I pout. "She loves me. I'm sure if I ask her real nice she'll let me."

"No man," says Jason, leaning his head on mine. He can only reach because I'm slumped way down in my seat. "We're fucked cuz we ain't gonna get fucked."

"Oh," I sigh. That sucks. Now I feel all depressed.

"Yeah," says Jason.

"Oh, for the love of Pete!" says Mr. Grumbles. He should calm down. He's much too angry. "Give me your phone!" I hand him my phone and he curses. "Unlock it!"

Uh...

"Do you remember your code?"

Uh...

"Gimme your fuckin' thumb!"

He grabs my hand roughly and I pull it back. "Aj! Vad gör du?"(Ow! What are you doing?)

"What the fuck? I need your thumb to unlock your fuckin' phone. Unless you remember Sookie's number or you want me to call her Gran."

"No!" Jason and I yell at the same time. I saw what happened to Jason at the airport. I can only imagine what would happen to us if she had to pick our drunk asses up at the police station.

"Then unlock the goddamn phone."

"Here," says Jason handing over his phone. "Mine don't got a code."

Officer Friendly grabs Jason's phone and angrily punches the screen to find Sookie's number.

"Shit, Jason," I say as a sobering thought enters my brain. "What if Sookie's mad at us?"

"Shit. She's gonna be. I bet she's asleep. She's gonna hit us."

"She doesn't hit me. I'll tell her not to hit you."

"Thanks man. You're alright."

"Thanks. You are too."

I close my eyes for a second, still resting my head against Jason's and when I open them again it's because I hear the voice of my angel. Only she doesn't sound too happy. Maybe she is gonna hit me.

* * *

><p>SOOKiE<p>

I get dressed as fast as I can, grab the baby monitor and head down to Gran's room.

"Gran," I whisper, "Gran."

"Sookie? What time is it? Is everything alright?"

"No, well, it's fine. I have to go pick up Eric and Jason. They're drunk apparently and need a ride home. I brought down the baby monitor but I don't expect Annika to wake up. If she does, you'll hear her, okay?"

"Sure thing, dear," she answers in a sleepy voice. I feel horrible about having to wake her up.

I start to leave before Gran's voice pipes up once more. "Sookie?"

"Yes?"

"Smack that brother of yours once or twice for me, dear," she says.

"Of course," I smile.

When I get down to the police station, Andy stands up to greet me as I walk in. I immediately spot Jason and Eric sitting together with their arms around each other and their heads together. What the heck? I nod at Kevin, who is sitting on the other side of the room.

"It took them a half hour to quit singing together when we brought them in. They wouldn't stop long enough for us to figure out what happened and get your cell phone number. Drunk as a pair of skunks, they are."

"Oh my gosh, Andy! I'm so sorry! Are they free to go? Have they been charged with anything?"

"Nope. The guy they was fightin' ain't pressing charges. They can go. They're gonna be mighty sore tomorrow."

"The guy they were fighting? Oh, heck."

"Yup. I don't know what happened really but by the time I got there they were mad as hornets and the other guy had a black eye and a bloody nose. He wouldn't really say what happened and these two are too drunk to be makin' sense. The big one keeps talkin' in some foreign language but he thinks he's speakin' English. Take them. I've had enough."

"I am so sorry," I say again. Jason is not the sharpest knife in the drawer so I'm used to apologizing for him but Eric surprises me. "Can you help me get them to the car? I'll get Jason if you get Eric."

I walk over to the two buffoons on the bench and they look up at me with goofy smiles.

"Hey!" says Eric much too loudly. He stands on swaying legs and throws his arms around me, picking me up and staggering back.

"Eric! Put me down! You're going to hurt both of us if you fall!"

"I would never harm you," he slurs, setting me carefully down and smiling right in my face. Oh my god, he is completely wasted.

"Let's go guys. We're going home. Jason, you can sleep on the couch at Gran's. I ain't making a special trip to your house to deposit your drunk ass."

The guys follow slowly as I walk out to my car but as Eric goes wandering down some random hallway, Andy fetches him and guides him outside to my car. He grabs their arms in turn to help hoist them into the SUV and once they are safely belted in, I thank Andy for his help and hightail it home. I am so embarrassed and I know the story of their drunken fight has most likely already swept through my small town. This is just what I need. And I can guess that Eric will be supremely upset with himself once he sobers up and realizes what he's done.

Eric and Jason start singing a song that I barely recognize as _Margaritaville_ and I yell at them to shut the hell up so I can drive. This makes Eric pout and Jason scowl—and me curse at the two overgrown toddlers that I'm transporting home in the middle of the night. Just fucking great. At least they seem to be getting along. Though this isn't quite what I meant when I said Jason would come around.

Once home, it takes me ten minutes to coax them both out of the car as they have decided they need to sing the entire song all over again and cannot leave the car until they do so. I have to curse at the top of my lungs to get them to shut the hell up and get the hell out of the vehicle. Eric, who is in the front seat, cannot get his seatbelt off and every time I lean over him to try to click it open, he tries to kiss me and that is just about the last fucking thing on my mind right now. What _is_ on my mind? Sleep and slapping. As in, I'm going to slap both of these boys so hard that they will fall instantly to sleep and shut the fuck up.

"Stop laughing! Both of you!" I say as we make our very slow way up the porch steps. Right now the five steps feel like a thousand as they stumble up them.

"You're mean," says Jason.

"Yeah...meanie!" says Eric.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," I sigh.

Well, if they want to act like children, I will treat them like children. "Boys," I say sweetly, "I will give you each a slice of pie if you can go and silently sit in a kitchen chair, okay? Ready? Go!"

"Pie!" they both call out.

"Silently!" I hiss.

They start giggling again and I kind of at this point wish they were still enemies. Because this is ridiculous! Once I unlock the door, I push them both inside, smacking my brother in the back of the head because his stupid head is right in front of me.

"Ow! She hit me," Jason whines.

Eric turns around and starts babbling in Swedish and his face looks so sincere I wish I knew what he was saying. His eyes are pleading but I have no idea for what.

"Eric, baby, I don't understand. Tell me in English, honey." Whatever he has to say is important to him.

"What's he doin'?" asks Jason. "Is that another language cuz I thought I was going crazy! He's been doin' that all night."

"It's Swedish, Jason. His native language. You got him drunk and now I can't understand him." I go to hit Jason upside the head again but Eric blocks my hand.

"I said don't hit him anymore. I told him I would tell you not to hit him. We don't like it." He's slurring his words but they are still heartfelt and I feel really happy that Eric is standing up for my brother even if it's against me.

"Okay. I'm sorry Jason. Go sit it the kitchen, guys. You want some pie?" They shuffle into the kitchen and I follow, getting plates and forks out. I figure if they are sitting down I can get them to drink some water so they aren't so dehydrated in the morning. It also means their mouths will be full so they will hopefully shut the fuck up and their butts are in chairs so they can't cause any damage. I cut them both big slices of pecan pie and get them each a large glass of water.

"Drink all the water and you'll get your pie," I say, setting the glasses down in front of them.

"I don't want water, Sook," Jason complains.

"Jason, drink the fuckin' water or you get no pie," I say between clenched teeth.

"Ooh, she's mad at you," says Eric, picking up his glass with a teasing smile for Jason. He drinks all his water, belches loudly, and sets his glass down on the table with a thud. He smiles up at me and I would never tell him, but he is quite an adorable drunk. He is way different than sober ultra-responsible Eric and I'm kind of glad he had the chance to go hog wild. Still, though, I'd rather be sleeping.

"Good job, Eric," I say petting his hair back from his eyes. I put his pie in front of him and by this time, Jason is on his way to finishing his water too so I give him his pie as well.

"She pet me, Jason. Cuz I'm special. It feels good," Eric whispers—well, it would be a whisper if he was sober.

"Tell her to pet me too. She listens to you," says Jason, whispering just as loudly.

Eric is too busy shoveling pie into his face to listen so Jason starts eating too. Finally it's peaceful but I know that won't last for long because they eat too fast. I grab their glasses and refill them.

"Drink that too, boys. You're going to be hurtin' in the morning. Let me see your hands," I say, suddenly remembering their fight.

They each hold up their hands and I inspect them one at a time. Jason's right knuckles are bruised and scraped but Eric looks okay. I guess Eric didn't do any real fighting.

"Did you hit anyone tonight, Eric?" I ask him.

He looks up wide-eyed, like a little boy afraid of being punished and starts speaking Swedish again, gesturing wildly with his hands. I look at Jason and he just looks bewildered.

"He didn't hit nobody," says Jason. "I think he's tryin' to tell you about when he shoved Royce to the floor in Merlotte's."

"He did? Great," I sigh.

Eric takes my hand and looks into my eyes. "I'm sorry," he says. He sounds so sad.

"They deserved it!" says Jason.

The last thing I want to do is get them all fired up again. "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Come on, finish the water. It's bed time."

As soon as he's finished, I grab Jason's hand and take him to the sink to wash off his knuckles. His hand isn't too bad.

"How come I gotta sleep on the couch? This couch is too small," complains Jason when I lead him into the living room with an extra pillow.

"Because Annika is asleep in your old room and I don't think you could go in there without waking her up."

"You can sleep with me, Jason," says Eric and I turn to him to see him waggling his eyebrows and grinning.

"You two are such dorks. Jason, take off your pants and lay down. Now!"

Jason takes off his pants with his ass purposely pointed toward Eric and I know this is the vast amount of alcohol in his system because sometimes Jason can be less than tolerant.

"Woo-hoo!" says Eric with a shit-eating grin on his face.

I throw the blanket I'm holding at Jason and push Eric to the stairs to get him into bed. "Let's go. Bed, Eric."

"Ooh, are you gonna sleep with me?" he says, waggling those damn eyebrows at me this time.

"Eric! Don't press your luck or you'll be sleepin' on the floor!"

His face falls at my harsh words and it makes me want to hold him and soothe him. He really is an adorable, albeit annoying, drunk.

"Sit down," I say, gesturing to the bed. When he does, I kneel down in front of him to take off his boots. His chest rumbles and he slips his fingers into my hair as if I'm kneeling down for a very different reason. My head snaps up. "Eric Northman, I am helping you to get undressed and that's it! Get your fucking hands off my head; I ain't tryin' to suck your dick! Annika will be awake in four hours and your ass will probably still be drunk by then! Who do you think is going to get up to take care of her? Me! So if I could get you undressed and into bed, I could go to sleep so I'm not a zombie tomorrow! Please!"

I have gotten his shoes and socks and shirt off, his pants undone, and when I look at his face after my little tirade, my heart squeezes because he looks awful. He's staring at me in sorrow, looking so stricken by my words. "I'm sorry," he whispers, hanging his head.

"Stand up," I tell him. When he does, I pull his jeans down and hold onto him while he steps out of them. I put my arms around him and hold him close to me, laying my cheek over his heart. "It's okay, baby. I know you were having fun and I'm glad. I just didn't know you were gonna have _so_ much fun. I will gladly take care of Anni so you can sleep in, okay? I'm sorry I was so harsh."

"Thank you, Sookie. I don't deserve you."

"Yes you do. Now get in bed, honey." I get in beside him and curl up on my side to go to sleep. After a minute or so, Eric's large body curls around me from behind, his arms holding me tightly in his warm embrace. He pushes his face into my hair and starts lightly snoring a minute later. "Goodnight, sweet man," I whisper into the dark before falling asleep myself.


	43. Chapter 43

**ERIC**

When I finally crack open my eyes, I groan instantly at the onslaught of sunlight in my eyes. Damn sun is killing me! I struggle to turn over to find a clock and my eyes land on a note on Sookie's bedside table. Picking up the note, I smile at Sookie's big, happy, flowing writing. If it's possible that someone's writing can showcase their personality, Sookie's does just that. It takes me a minute of squinting and rubbing my eyes before they will focus on the writing.

_My beautiful Eric,_

_I hope you feel okay. You were adorable and annoying last night—but mostly adorable. Gran and I have taken Anni to church. We should be back around noon. There is coffee in the pot and breakfast in the oven if you feel like eating. I love you, baby. I hope you don't feel too bad. Wake Jason up when you get up or he will sleep all day. I'm so happy you two are friends._

_Love,_

_Sookie_

Reading her note makes me smile. From what I remember of last night, I was supremely annoying and probably much less adorable than Sookie thinks. I'm sure the cops would not agree that I was at all adorable. Big bumbling jackass is what I remember.

I sit up and reach for my phone and my head throbs with the movement. I hope Jason knows where some medicine is. Forcing myself to stand up, I stumble out of Sookie's room and down the stairs holding tightly to the banister. My eyes are barely open because it's too fucking bright and my head is pounding with every step. By the time I reach the bottom of the stairs and see Jason still asleep on the living room couch, all I want to do is sleep as well. My strength is gone and my stomach feels sick so I end up crawling to the floor beside Jason and collapsing face first next to the couch.

"Jason," I mumble, "I'm supposed to wake you up..."

The next thing I know, Sookie is shaking me awake.

"Stop," I groan, trying but failing to open my eyes.

"Eric," she says softly, rubbing my back, "I have some water and medicine for you and I'll help you to bed. Why are you on the floor, baby?"

"No water, I'll throw up. I was waking Jason up but I..." I stop talking as a wave of nausea makes my stomach lurch and my head throb.

Sookie runs her fingers through my hair soothingly. "Do you wanna throw up? Might make you feel better."

"No...well...no."

Sookie laughs a little and pushes my shoulder to turn me over. I put my arm over my face to block the sunlight. Why is her house so damn bright?

"I think if you take a few sips of cold water it might help. Let me help you sit up. Slowly, okay?"

She pushes my head and shoulders up and slips in the space between my body and the floor, leaning against the couch. Jason is still there, snoring. This reminds me of when I was sick and Sookie took care of me then, too. She is always having to take care of me.

"Sookie, I'm sorry...for everything," I say, with my eyes closed. I can't get them to open.

"Don't be silly. I love taking care of you." She massages my scalp with her fingertips and it feels so good.

"Where's Annika?" I ask, as the realization that she might be looking for me hits and my eyes fly open.

"Gran is feeding her lunch in the kitchen. She had a great time at church. I think she loved the singing."

"Oh, Good," I say, relaxing again. Sookie keeps massaging me and I'm trying not to moan because it feels that good.

She picks up the water she brought over. "Okay, open your mouth and take a little sip, honey. Just one and then see how your stomach feels."

After a few sips of water, I feel better so Sookie gives me the medicine and helps me up the stairs into bed. "I can't sleep all day, Sookie. What about Anni?"

"You let me worry about everything. Just sleep, okay?" she says, finger combing my hair off my face. I love how she touches me and it makes my eyes close. She pets me for a few more minutes until my head feels better and I fall asleep.

The next time I wake up, I feel much better. My headache is gone and I'm starving. When I open the door to Sookie's bedroom, I hear laughter and a few voices from downstairs. Well, I can't stumble down the stairs looking like this. I find my bag and search for my soap and stuff and then wander down the hall to the bathroom so I can shower. I hear footsteps on the stairs and then Sookie's angelic face appears.

"I thought I heard you. I'm glad you're up! How you feelin'?"

"Better...dirty...starving."

Sookie grins at me. "Well, I can help you with that last one. Got a whole supper downstairs waitin'. Gran and I just finished cooking so you're in luck. As for the second one...I'm afraid no amount of soap and water will cure you of that," she winks and laughs when it takes me a second to understand what she means.

"Oh ha ha, Stackhouse. Who's here? I heard voices."

"Lafayette and Tara are here for supper. Jason should be by if he has recovered. Though, he never refuses food so I suspect he'll be here soon. Hurry and shower, I'll pull out some clothes for you and leave them in here with a towel."

"Thank you. What time is it? I didn't mean to sleep all day."

"It's four o'clock. We always eat early on Sundays. I'm glad you slept Eric. You had some sleep to catch up on." She runs her hand up and down my arm and smiles up at me.

"You are so good to me, Sookie. Way too good. I don't—"

"If you say you don't deserve me one more time, I'm gonna smack...I mean..." She puts both hands on my cheeks and pulls my face so we are eye to eye. "Just don't say that, Eric. It's not true!"

"Sorry. Okay, I'm getting in the shower."

"Good, because I'm about to climb you if you don't get those delicious little underwear outta my sight. I thought Gran was gonna have a heart attack when we came in from church to find you lyin' ass up on the floor in those little red boxers."

Grinning, I pull down the offending boxers. "Better?" I say, as I stand up completely naked.

Sookie groans and steps toward me. "Better...but so much worse," she whispers, reaching up to smooth her hands down my torso. She continues the downward movement of her hands and as they glide over my hips, my cock starts to stiffen. Sookie reaches her hands around me and grabs my ass, pulling me closer to her body.

"Sookie, I won't be able to stop," I whisper raggedly.

"Sorry," she whispers into my chest as I rock my now hard cock against her body. "Get in the shower."

"I have to turn it on."

"No, just step into the tub," she says, pushing me toward it. Once I get in, she drops her hand to my cock and starts pumping firmly while standing outside the tub.

"Fuck! Are you giving me a hand job while you have guests waiting downstairs?" How is this my life? How did I ever get so lucky that this gorgeous creature is mine?

"That's what it looks like." She strokes faster and I moan softly. "I heard from...everyone...at church about how you stood up for me. People I haven't talked to in years." She squeezes my cock and I inhale sharply and grab the wall to steady myself. "They came up to me to tell me that my handsome boyfriend is brave and loyal." She rubs her thumb over my head and my knees go weak but I manage to keep standing. Though, I'm about to lose my load any second. The combination of sneaking around and her sultry voice as she rubs me, is too much. "They told me how you stood up for me against that little asshole, Royce and his friends. How you stood with Jason to defend me." She starts to twist her hand, squeezing and stroking. My hips thrust uncontrollably as I feel my balls start to tighten and tingle.

"Sookie, I—"

"Yes," she says, "So I thought to myself, how can I make him feel good like he made me feel good to be so loved? And I know this is not much—"

She doesn't finish her thought because my orgasm hits and I stagger back as I paint her shower wall with my cum. "Fuuuuck," I breathe when my body stops spasming. "Jesus, Sookie. I don't know how you make me cum so hard with just your hands. You have magic in your hands."

"I love you, baby. I'm glad I can make you feel so good."

I step out of the shower and turn it on. "Is that true what you said? People think I was brave? They don't think I'm a jackass?"

"Of course not. Eric, people get into fights all the time around here. Nobody cares about fightin'. And defendin' the honor of your girl is just about the best reason to knock someone out accordin' to the good folks of Bon Temps." She smiles at me and it eases any left-over shame at my actions last night.

"Thanks, Sookie. I love you so much."

"You're welcome, honey. I love you, too." She swats my butt and jumps back before I can grab her. "Hurry up. Supper smells good and I can't wait to eat it!"

"Yes, ma'am."

As soon as I finish in the shower, I put on the clothes Sookie left for me, comb my hair and brush my teeth. I guess they get dressed up for Sunday dinner because she left me a polo shirt and khakis. As I walk downstairs I am nervous that the rest of the people here won't be as nice about last night's drunken escapades.

"Well, don't you clean up nice!" says Lafayette as soon as I come into view. "And look at you two, all matchy matchy! So damn cute!"

"Lafayette, you watch your mouth, young man!" calls Gran from the kitchen.

"Yes, ma'am," he says, making a face like he's in trouble.

"Do we match? Oh, yeah," I say, looking at Sookie's blue dress and then down at my blue shirt.

"That wasn't on purpose, Lafayette. But we do look good together," says Sookie, hooking her arm into mine and smiling at me.

Annika looks up at me from her seat on Tara's lap. "Dada!" she says, reaching for me with a huge smile.

"Anni! I missed you, princess," I say, moving swiftly to pick her up and hug her. I walk with her into the dining room, talking softly in Swedish with my face close to hers. "I'm sorry I slept all day, baby. I should have been here to take care of you. I hope you still love me."

Annika puts her hands on my cheeks and kisses me and it eases some of my guilt at leaving her without me in a strange house. I know she had Sookie but she should have had me.

Sookie comes up behind me and rubs my back. "Are you okay?" she asks, kissing my shoulder through my shirt.

"I'm sorry for just walking out like that. I just..."

"Needed to reconnect with Anni. I know. I told them, they understand. You're a good daddy. Everyone can see that, Eric."

"Thank you, angel. I just feel guilty that I left her all day."

"Well, it's only Sunday. You have five more full days with her after this. It will be fun, Eric."

"Oh, you're already in here," says Gran, coming into the dining room. "Would you help me bring in the food, Sookie? Jason called and he'll be here in ten minutes. Eric, go on and sit down with that darling baby of yours."

"Let me help," I say.

"No dear, just sit with your sweet girl. We'll handle it," she says smiling at us both.

Annika gives her a bright smile in return so I sit down next to the high chair that just appeared.

Sookie goes into the kitchen but Gran hangs back, walking over to my chair. I'm kind of scared that she's going to either hit me or yell at me because of my actions last night. I did not make a good impression.

When she brings her hand up to my shoulder, I flinch, but she just pats me gently.

"How are you feeling, Eric?" she asks.

"Oh, a little tired but okay. I'm really sorry that Sookie had to get up to come get me last night. I'm sorry if I woke you up. I should have just ignored those guys. I really—"

"Oh, pish posh," she interrupts. "Those boys aren't nothing but poor white trash, bless their hearts, and haven't got the sense God gave a goose. Now, I hate to say this, but well, they are nothing but jackasses, Lord forgive my language, but the truth is the truth and everyone in Bon Temps knows how they are. I sometimes wonder if their family trees have any branches - that would explain a lot. So don't you worry none, Eric. We're all proud of you. Sookie especially."

Gran goes back into the kitchen before I can respond but I'm pretty much speechless anyway. I've never met such nice people. I can see where Sookie gets her graciousness.

"You okay?" says Sookie, cupping my cheek. I didn't notice her come in.

"Yeah," I say, straightening up. "I'm great!"

"Good," she says, putting down a plate of biscuits. I'm going to be drooling in a second.

"Did you get a high chair?" I ask when Sookie comes in next, carrying a huge platter of the most delectable looking fried chicken I have ever seen. Oh my god! I'm salivating. I am so fucking hungry.

"Oh yeah, a friend from church had one we're borrowin'. It's okay, right?"

"Oh, it's great," I say, sneaking my hand toward the chicken she put down. Well, she put it right in front of me...

"Hey! Hands off!" she chastises. My stomach growls loudly and she smiles. "Okay, just a small piece," she says.

"No, I can wait. But can I have a kiss? I've missed your lips today." I put Anni in the high chair and she starts enthusiastically banging on the tray.

"Sweet talker," she says, smiling and coming around the table to me. She runs her hand through my damp hair and pulls my chin up. "I love this mouth," she murmurs just before her lips touch mine. The thought of returning her sentiment flies out of my head as I feel the warmth of her tongue move across my bottom lip. I love the way she does that. I put my hands on her hips and draw her body close to mine, continuing to move my tongue against hers. My chest rumbles just as I hear footsteps heading into the room.

"Seems like you got quite the little drummer—oh, shoot, Sookie! Why you gotta be doin' that right when I'm about to eat?" whines Jason, interrupting our little make-out session.

Sookie steps away from me laughing, and goes back into the kitchen to get the rest of the dishes.

"Hey, Jason," I say somewhat awkwardly. I'm not sure if our drunken bonding transfers over to the next sober day.

"Hey, Eric," he says, patting me on the shoulder. He sits down next to me with a big smile. "How bad was your headache this morning cuz I thought my head was gonna split in two!"

"I thought I was going to throw up all over Sookie when she made me drink some water. When did you wake up?"

"You're lucky you got somebody to get you water. I woke up about two and Gran found me drinking outta the kitchen faucet. She sent me home. I still feel like I could sleep for a week."

"Me too."

"Next time we go out, we gotta lay off the Jäger," he says grinning.

"Yeah, that must have been our problem," I agree, laughing.

"What's got you two pretty boys grinning like fools?" says Lafayette, walking into the dining room and sitting down with the flair that only he could put into something as simple as pulling out a chair. "I swear, I never thought I'd see someone as pretty and blonde as this fool here, but then there's you." He winks at me and I laugh.

"Yeah, yeah. Smooth talker."

"You knows it!"

Tara comes in with a platter of green beans and a huge dish of mashed potatoes. "Oh, no! Nobody get up and help or anything! You're all useless!"

I jump up to help but she tells me to sit my pretty butt down and looks pointedly at Jason.

"I'm comin', I'm comin'," he grumbles, following her to the kitchen.

Lafayette looks at me as I sit back down. "So Rocky, you had a pretty intense night."

"I did," I say. I can't tell from his tone whether he approves or disapproves.

"Thanks for standing up for our Sook. She didn't have the easiest time growin' up in this here town. Well, neither did I as you can imagine," he laughs a little but it doesn't completely mask the pain on his face. "Anyway...thank you. You're good for her. I ain't never seen her happier."

"I love her. I would do anything for her," I say.

"It shows."

Tara and everybody else comes in and sits down so I guess it's time to eat. I don't think I've ever been hungrier. I also don't think I've ever had a family dinner quite like this one. Well, family dinners did not happen when I was still with mine—not my whole family anyway.

"Let's say Grace," says Gran, holding out her hands. Jason and Tara each take one and Sookie takes mine and Lafayette's. That leaves me to hold Jason's hand and after a funny smile, Jason holds Annika's little hand instead so I follow suit. I know you are supposed to close your eyes during prayers but I don't. Instead my eyes sweep around the room, landing on each downturned face. Looking at all the people in Sookie's life that she loves and who love her just the same, makes my heart swell because I am included in this sacred circle.

My mind wanders to my own family and our quiet, sullen dinners when my father was home to sit with us. I'm lost in thought for the rest of the prayer and I miss the amen. Suddenly the hands around the table unclasp and everyone digs into the food. Conversations flow easily as people heap food onto their plates but as hungry as I am, I can't seem to move. I can't take my eyes off of all these happy faces around Sookie's table.

I am surprisingly affected by this family in front of me and as I look around the table, I feel suddenly overwhelmed by all the love I feel. Everybody here is family, by blood or by love. As I blink back tears, I feel Sookie's hand slide inside mine under the table. I squeeze hers and we smile at each other. Sookie has made me the happiest I have ever been and I can only hope I make her just as happy because I would like to do just that for the rest of my life.

* * *

><p><strong>SOOKIE<strong>

When I wake up, it's because Eric's knee is pressing on my bladder and my body is screaming for relief. It takes me a minute to struggle out of his death grip and make my way to the bathroom. My bed is much smaller than his so we have been squished together all night. It's not so small that Eric should need to sleep on top of me, however that seems to be what he decided in the night.

When I get back to the bedroom and check the time, my heart starts pounding. It's nearly nine o'clock! Did I sleep through Annika waking up? Oh my god! I told Eric I would take care of her and I didn't even hear her. She must be awake by now. I walk quickly to her room and find the portable crib empty. Crap! What if she was crying so much that Gran had to come get her. I'm such a crappy girlfriend!

I practically run down the stairs and sigh in relief when I find Annika on Gran's lap listening to a story in the kitchen. Jason is still asleep in the living room.

"Gran, I'm so sorry I didn't hear her get up! You should have woken me!"

"Nonsense, dear! I had the baby monitor. I heard her wake and decided to let you sleep. I'm perfectly capable of takin' care of this little scoop of sugar aren't I Annika?" she says.

Annika smiles at me and reaches out for me. "Kie!" she says, grinning.

"Hey baby girl. How was your morning with Gran? Did she eat breakfast?" I ask Gran.

"She had some fruit. I wasn't sure what else to make her. There's some biscuits and bacon in the oven. If you tell me what else you'd like and what she can eat, I'll make it so you can shower. We've got church in thirty minutes."

"Do you think I should wake up Eric and Jason?"

"Let those boys sleep. They'd probably still be drunk if you woke them now anyhow."

"You're probably right. Hoo boy, were they wasted!"

"At least they were together."

I didn't tell Gran they were at the police station and I kinda don't want to. I don't want her to be mad at Eric. He's going to feel bad enough about himself.

"Yeah, I think they really bonded." I smile at the memory of them whispering over pie. "So, for breakfast. How about some scrambled eggs and toast? We brought some cheerios for Anni so I'll bring them down. Thanks, Gran!"

After a quick shower and a quick breakfast we head to church. I drive Eric's rental because Annika's carseat is in the back. I don't think Annika's ever been to church, which is fine, Eric can believe what he wants to believe, but I'm sad he's not here with us.

I don't want to bring Anni to the nursery because I don't know how Eric would feel about it so I keep her with me, hoping she can be quiet for the sermon. It turns out, she does an excellent job. She is a really sweet baby and spends the whole time looking around and smiling at the people who look back at her. When the singing starts, she is momentarily startled but she soon grins and sings along in her baby way.

"Isn't she just the sweetest, singin' right along," says Gran and I have to agree. She is the sweetest.

After church, I must answer that no, Annika is not my baby almost as much as I am told all about Eric and Jason's short scuffle outside of Merlotte's last night. People who couldn't have even been there at that hour of the night are telling me the story like it's the first time I'm hearing it. But two things are agreed upon by everyone—my boyfriend is a good looking man and I am lucky to have such a man to stand up for me. My heart swells with pride thinking of him defending me to those stupid boys who taunted me all through high school. That one, Royce, was always the ring leader. Always vicious and bullying, he knocked my books out of my hand or stood too close to me on purpose more than I can count. Knowing that Jason and Eric fought him for me is such a good feeling.

Gran hears about the fight and the subsequent trip to jail but if she is upset or embarrassed about it, she doesn't show it.

When we finally make it out of church, I was just about to announce to everyone from the pulpit, that there is no way Annika could be my child as she is one-year-old and they all just saw me at Christmas three months ago. It's ridiculous how many people did not think of that.

I walk into the house and since it's still quiet, I know the boys are not up yet. I start towards the stairs with the desire to kiss Eric all over his handsome face when I notice his red butt on the living room floor. Gran is just standing there in front of the couch with Annika, who obviously wants to get down to see her little red tushied daddy. I can tell Gran is looking at his bottom but she doesn't really want to. I can totally understand. It draws the eye.

"Those are my favorite of his undies," I say and then cringe because that's not something I should be telling my Gran.

"I can see why, Sook. I can see why," she mutters, finally tearing her eyes away and walking quickly to the kitchen with Annika.

I follow behind to get a glass of ice water and some ibuprofen for Eric. I don't want him to sleep on the floor and I'm sure he needs the headache relief.

"I'll just give Annika some leftovers for lunch. Do you think those boys will eat lunch?"

"I doubt it, Gran. I'm gonna help Eric up to bed. I have no idea why he's sleepin' on the floor there."

Once I get Eric to bed, I eat some lunch myself and then invite Tara over to talk. We end up taking Anni for a stroll since Jason is still asleep on the couch, and I can tell Tara is smitten with her. There are not many people who do not succumb to the charms of either Northman.

Tara goes home to dress for Sunday supper—something that Gran has always insisted upon—and comes back with Lafayette. Meanwhile, I help Gran cook up a big feast. Sunday suppers are always big meals.

I can tell Eric is feeling a little emotional at the start of supper so I hold his hand and smile at him. His eyes shine with unshed tears and I will have to ask him later what he's thinking about. He soon seems back to his happy self and he eats an impressive amount of chicken. I think he and Jason have an unspoken contest going on. Eric is much bigger, though, and he wins, which is obvious by the giant pile of chicken bones on his plate.

Gran brings out her apple pie, which she must have made while we were all sleeping, and cuts big pieces for everyone. I find myself doubting that Eric can pack away any more food but I am proved wrong as he takes his last bite and thanks Gran and I for the delicious meal.

We move to the porch after everyone pitches in to clean up and Annika walks from person to person, holding their legs and babbling to them. She is so friendly. Soon it's time for Annika to go to bed; the time change moves her bedtime up an hour. We move inside to the living room since it's dark outside.

Eric says he will go upstairs alone and I let him because I know he missed her today and he feels guilty. He bathes her and we can all hear him making her laugh in the tub. Every time she giggles or squeals, everyone in the living room looks towards the stairs with a smile. A few minutes later, when Eric starts humming to Annika, we can hear that too, and all conversation stops so we can listen. I have never heard humming that sounds so earnest and heartfelt. His deep voice travels down the stairs to fill the living room with his low rhythmic song. When it stops, nobody speaks. Eric soothed everyone here with his peaceful melody.

"Is he as perfect as he seems, Sook?" asks Tara wistfully.

"Pretty much," I answer. I'm sure he doesn't think so but I do.

After we say our goodbyes to tonight's company, Eric and I decide to watch a movie on the couch.

"Gran do you want to watch something with us?" Eric asks. He is such a polite man and has made quite an impression on Gran, even despite his drunken shenanigans. His gorgeous butt might have helped a little.

"Oh, no thank you, dear," she tells him. "I'm just going to read some and then go on to sleep. You two enjoy your movie."

She pulls Eric down for a hug and I smile at the way Eric closes his eyes through her embrace. Gran gives good hugs.

She hugs me too and says good night. Right before she turns to go down the hall she stops and look from me to Eric. "You know, I slept through everything last night even though Eric and Jason must have made quite a bit of noise. Nope, can't hear anything from my bedroom." She winks and smiles and then walks to her room and shuts the door.

I walk back to Eric with a smile and sit next to him on the couch. He turns to me with a wicked grin.

"Did your Gran just give me permission to rock your world later tonight?"

"I believe she did. You gonna rock my world, cowboy?" I whisper, sitting up on my knees to bring my lips close to his ear.

He shivers and turns to kiss me softly. "You bet I am little filly."

"Ugh," I groan. "Way to ruin the moment."

He laughs and puts his arm around me when I flop down next to him. "Well, what else do cowboys ride?" he murmurs.

* * *

><p><strong>I love that everyone liked drunk Eric and Jason. I love them and hope to bring them back a little later for some fun in a different city.<strong>

**Once again, thank you for reading this huge story and sticking with it all the way through 40+ chapters! Thanks for all the alerts and reviews! They make me happy!**

**Again wanted to plug my wordpress site, where you can find six chapters of Getting It On. I have to warn you that that story is getting quite angsty so if that is not your thing, maybe stay away or read it when it's finished. I love angst sometimes if there is an HEA, and there definitely will be in this story!**


	44. Chapter 44

**ERIC**

"Ladies and Gentleman, the Captain has turned off the seatbelt sign and you are free to move about the cabin. We will be coming through momentarily with our complimentary beverage service."

Home again. The only reason that I am happy about leaving the literal and figurative warmth of Bon Temps is because Sander is coming on Tuesday. I have four days to get ready for him. Well, two full days and the rest of today and first half of Tuesday. Well, I actually have to work Monday so that leaves only tomorrow! Fuck!

"Sookie! Sookie!" I say, in a slight panic. She turns toward me and I can see I woke her up. "Oh, shoot! Go back to sleep, sorry." She had a little too much to drink last night after our goodbye dinner and night out dancing. She needs to sleep.

"What's the matter?" she asks in a sleepy voice, stretching her arms above her head and letting a little band of skin show on her stomach. I will be very sad to get back to the cold where she will have to wear more than the little tank tops and dresses she wore all week. Although at my house I can touch her whenever I want. But that also means she has to go back to class. Nothing is ever all good, is it?

"Nothing, I'm fine. Go to sleep," I tell her.

"You sounded upset…you're okay?"

"I just had a tiny panic attack about Sander's visit but there is nothing we can do on the plane so it's okay."

She sits up straighter and turns her body towards me. "No, but we can talk it through until you feel better. Want to?"

She is just so good to me. I totally don't deserve her but I won't let her hear me say that. "If you're not too tired, I could use the company. My own thoughts are freaking me out."

"Okay, let's talk it out." She pulls my hand into her lap and skims her fingers lightly over it. I love how she always knows how to touch me to soothe my nerves.

"Thanks." I bend down to kiss her quickly. "I am just kind of freaking out because I don't have much time to get ready for Sander. He will be here Tuesday evening and there is still so much to do."

Sookie leans down to get her purse and digs around before pulling out her phone. "Okay. Let's make a list. What's first?"

I sigh, my panic completely melting away in the face of Sookie's confidence. "Well, I need a bed for him. And a dresser. I have to go grocery shopping, completely rearrange the office…oh! How the hell am I going to get all the furniture home? My car is too small. Shit!"

"Okay, that's enough for now. Let's see," she says, typing into her phone, "bed, dresser, groceries…I will help you with that. Call Alcide to help you do the office. Offer him lunch on Sunday, I'll cook…or better yet, dinner! We'll go furniture shopping in the morning—with Pam's van, I'm sure she'll let you borrow it. Then you invite her and Alcide for dinner. He will help rearrange and Pam can help…I don't know…something. Or she'll just keep me and Annika company. Then on Tuesday afternoon, I will go grocery shopping for you if you give me a list. I only have a morning class on Tuesday so if you need anything last minute, I'm your girl."

"You _are_ my girl," I say, kissing her deeply, "and I am the luckiest guy in the world because of that."

Someone in front of us says, "aww," and both of us snicker. Old me would give the eavesdropper a show worth listening to but since I'm a dad now and my baby is dozing a seat away, that's not going to happen.

"You made me feel so much better in two minutes, Sookie. Thank you. You are amazing."

"You can do a lot in two minutes too, cowboy," she whispers.

I grin at her. "You bet," I say. We had lots of opportunities for two minute rendezvous this week and we learned that we could get each other off in record time. It was fun but I am so ready for a night of slow sex with Sookie, in a bed big enough for my tall frame. "Go back to sleep now. You need to rest because I'm going to have you up all night," I tell her softly in her ear. A tiny moan escapes her lips and she turns bright red. Her blush makes me want to do bad things to her on this airplane seat.

"I can't wait," she whispers back and my dick starts to come to life because I'm imagining what I plan to do later. Sookie eyes my lap and shakes her head. She can tell I'm getting hard. She tosses me her extra pillow and then turns to the window to sleep some more.

Just as I am indulging in the fantasy of tossing Sookie onto my bed and pouncing on her, the stewardess comes by with the drink cart. Good thing this pillow is over my lap.

"What can I get you, sir?" she asks and when I look up at her, her smile brightens.

"Just water, thanks," I answer.

"And for your wife? Do you want to get her anything for when she wakes up?"

"She's not…uh, yeah, I'll have a Sprite for her."

"Sure thing, hun. Here you go. If you need anything else, you let me know."

She's flirting, leaning in way too far so I can see right down her shirt. It's pretty despicable because she thinks Sookie is my wife and my baby is here too. I want some coffee but I don't want her hanging around me anymore so I tell her I'm fine and then turn my head towards the window and Sookie.

As I try to drift to sleep, I just keep going over our week in Bon Temps, specifically, the good bye dinner we had a Merlotte's. Everyone Sookie likes was there and even Sam was nice to me that night. We had a really good time talking and eating and then later we went out dancing with Tara, Jason, and Lafayette. The way Tara and Sookie danced together had me imagining all kinds of things I could do to them together and I surprised even myself with my dirty thoughts. I think Jason was having just as difficult a time with his gutter thoughts too, especially since the girl dancing with Tara was his sister. I got hot and sweaty with Sookie on the dance floor and then got hotter and sweatier with her in the backseat of my rental car. We made out like horny teens several times during the week. Sometimes that's fun but like I said, I am ready for a night of passion where I can make my girl cum multiple times in a row and listen to her moan out loud.

Because my thoughts are becoming painful—literally—I try to focus on other things and end up imagining what seeing my brother for the first time in several years is going to be like. I am so fucking happy that I will get to hug and kiss him again soon, but there is a small part of me that is terrified. What if he really hasn't changed? What if he is still using and I don't really have him back? I don't know what will happen in that case so I'm going to try not to think about it.

~~—~~—~~—~~

When we get off the airplane I am exhausted but Sookie and Anni are wide awake. They slept the whole trip. I am barely upright as we search for our luggage on the belt. Anni is mesmerized by the movement of the bags and she keeps pointing and squealing. That is, until a mom with a baby comes walking up. Annika's eyes light up and she points and says, "ba bee," with a huge emphasis on the "bee" part. She's been saying this word for the last few days and it makes me laugh every time because it sounds so adorable and she looks so cute when she does it. I don't know who taught her, she was passed around to so many grandmotherly ladies every time we went out. It freaked me the fuck out the first time someone came and snatched her right out of her high chair. Sookie saw my face and knew she'd better go get my baby back before I ripped someone's head off. But given a little while to get to know them, I was okay with them holding Anni as long as I could see her.

"You're a baby too, you know," Sookie says to Annika, who is still pointing to the other little girl.

"How old is she?" asks the other lady with the baby.

"She turned 1 almost two weeks ago," answers Sookie, "How old is your little one?"

"Lauren is 11 months old. She doesn't say anything yet. We're hoping soon!"

"Well, she's adorable."

I spot one of our bags so I walk a little ways away to grab it and when I come back I hear Lauren's mom say, "Oh, I'm surprised she doesn't say Mama yet with all the other words she says. Annika, can you say Mama? Look, it's Mama," she says pointing to Sookie who has gone completely red and silent. I can see that she doesn't know what to do. But I don't know what to do either. I would usually just let whoever it is think what they want but this lady is trying to tell my baby to call Sookie Mama and I don't want that to make Sookie uncomfortable. Not to mention that I don't want to confuse Annika.

I walk up to Sookie, still not sure what to do, and the woman turns to me. "Oh, you must be Dad! I was just talking to your wife about how precious your little Annika is."

"I'm Eric," I say, holding out my hand. She shakes my hand and then turns back to Sookie.

"Well, it was nice to meet you. You take care," she says before walking to the other end of the carousel.

Sookie turns to look at me with a weird smile on her face. "I didn't know what to say," she says softly.

I put my arm around her shoulder and kiss her hair. "I know. That's awkward and annoying. Everyone assumes you're my wife all the time and I guess that Anni is yours but nobody has ever told her to call you Mama."

Annika turns to look at Sookie when she hears that word. "Mama," she says with a huge smile.

I'm not sure if she is just repeating me because it's a new word she has heard a few times in a row or if she is calling Sookie, Mama. "Shit," I mutter.

Sookie looks at me with an expression I can't quite figure out. "Does it bother you that much?" she whispers and then she hands Annika to me and walks away. I am just kind of stunned and can't even figure out why she is walking away or where she might be going. Is she mad at me? What the fuck did I do? I can't really go after her because I have Annika and all our luggage either in front of me or somewhere on the baggage carousel so I just watch as she walks across the room and goes into the ladies' room.

"What happened?" I ask Annika, knowing she has no idea. I feel like she must; I have no fucking clue what just happened.

When I have been staring at the entrance to the ladies' room for five minutes with no sign of Sookie, I sigh and then turn to find the rest of our bags. Once I get them all, I walk sort of backwards over to the carts you can rent. I am trying to keep an eye on the bags and still watch where I'm going but I end up running into someone. After apologizing profusely, I manage to get the cart and take it back to where our luggage is. By the time I have loaded everything on—which is really fucking hard to do one-handed—I am thoroughly pissed off that Sookie just walked away from me like a child. And now what am I supposed to do? Wait around here until she feels like coming out of the bathroom?

I wheel the cart over to the bathroom Sookie disappeared into fifteen minutes ago and take a seat on one of the benches nearby. This is really fucking ridiculous and I am so fucking tired. This is the last thing I need to be doing. I entertain the thought of just leaving her here and going home but when my stomach drops, I know I could never do that to her. But I still can't figure out what the fuck happened to make her so upset. Is she mad because she thinks I don't want Annika to call her Mama? Well I don't, but only because I don't want to confuse Anni. I would love it if Sookie were her mother instead of Sophie. Annika deserves to have someone like Sookie.

"Eric?"

I look up to find Sookie standing in front of me with red eyes and nose. She is holding on to the hem of her shirt in an awkward way and her eyes are welled with tears. Every single ounce of anger goes right out of my body at the sight of her.

"Sookie," I say, standing to hug her tightly. I cup her cheek with my free hand and ask, "Are you okay? I don't know what happened. Did I do something?"

"I'm okay. I'm so sorry. I know you didn't mean to but I just was upset about what you said."

"What? What did I say? I honestly don't understand why you walked away." Sometimes women just baffle me.

"Can we talk about it at home?"

As much as I want to clear the air right now, looking at her face I can see that she needs to go home. "Yeah, fine," I sigh.

We walk out to the cab stand and wait in the short line for a taxi. The ride to my home is silent. Sookie looks out the window the whole time and Annika stays quiet as if she can sense the tension between us.

When we get home and unload all the luggage, I tell Sookie I'm hungry and ask what she wants to eat. She tells me to choose so I call for Chinese take-out since she seems to like to talk over noodles. She changes Annika and sets her up with some toys in the living room while I make some coffee so I don't pass out before the food even gets here.

"Didn't you sleep on the plane?" asks Sookie coming up behind me. I can't help but notice that she doesn't hug me like she normally would. She just stands back awkwardly.

"I couldn't." Turning around, I hold my arms out so she will step into them. When she does, she immediately starts crying. I don't know what I did but I hate when she cries and I try to soothe away her tears by petting her hair and humming. Annika comes toddling into the kitchen to see what we're up to and the doorbell rings at that same moment.

"Can you watch her and I'll get the food?" I ask, stepping back from her embrace. She nods as she wipes her eyes. When I set the food on the table and walk into the kitchen, Sookie is holding onto Annika with her face in her baby curls. I walk up to hug them both but when my stomach growls, Sookie moves back and smiles.

"Let's eat," she says, taking Annika over to the table.

Drinking coffee while eating beef chow fun is very weird but I am as hungry as I am tired so both are very necessary.

Lunch is silent and awkward again despite our warm hug in the kitchen. Only Annika is talking and her babbling is very welcome until she starts to say "Mama," over and over again. I look over at Sookie apprehensively and she is smiling, about to burst into laughter. What the fuck is up with her mood swings?

"Okay, what is going on? I can't keep up!"

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me." She stops laughing and takes a drink of her water.

"Well, can you tell me why you walked away from me at the airport? I have to admit, I was pretty pissed off by the time I managed to get all our bags onto the cart one-handed."

"Oh, I didn't even think of that, Eric! I'm horrible!" she whines, her face crumpling.

"Please! Please don't cry again, Sookie!" I say louder than I mean to. She looks up at me and I'm afraid of what her reaction will be but she just smiles.

"I'm sorry. I was just so flustered by that lady and I really didn't know what to do and then you said you were annoyed by everyone thinking I was your wife and it just upset me."

"I said I was annoyed that people thought you were my wife? Did I really say that? I must have been flustered too. You know I didn't mean it that way! It's just…It just makes me feel weird. I wish it was true and I don't know what, if anything I should say. It's just awkward."

When I look up at Sookie, tears are streaming down her face and my stomach lurches as I try to think back on what I could have just said to make her cry again.

"You wish it were true?" she asks in a small, hesitant voice. Oh.

"Um, yeah. I do. Not right now, obviously, you're still in school and it's only been a few months but I think that down the line, as long as things keep going as well as they are now, I would love to um, get married, or something, if that's something that you think—"

"Eric! You're rambling, baby."

I blow out a breath to get my heart to slow down and then look at her. I reach my hand out and she puts her hand on top of mine. "Yes," I say, looking into her eyes. "I wish it were true."

"Oh, Eric," she breathes, getting up to stand in front of me. She wraps her arms around my neck and I lay my head on her breasts.

"They should make boob pillows," I murmur and when she pulls my head off of them to look at my face I realize I said that out loud. Oops.

She shakes her head and kisses my cheek before going back to finish her food.

"Well, they should," I say, "You could model for them since yours are perfect. No, nevermind. I don't want anybody else on your breasts even if they are fluff and cotton."

"I love you," she says, clearly amused. She is finally in a good mood and it dawns on me why she might be over-emotional. God knows I know enough about this to be sympathetic.

"Do you think you're a bit emotional because you're missing your family?" I ask gently.

She looks up from her chopsticks and thinks for a second before furrowing her brow. "I guess I am," she says. "And I took it out on you. That's so completely bitchy of me!" She mouths "bitchy," and her shoulders sag a little as she sits there. It makes me ache for her because I miss my family too.

"It's okay, angel," I say, holding out my hand for hers. "I understand. In two months you'll see them again. Two months will be here before you know it!" I don't think I'm very good at cheering people up.

"You're right. And Sander is coming. I feel a little bit like he's my family too. I'm excited to meet him."

"Yeah…I'm excited too."

"And…"

"And?"

"And what else are you feeling? I can hear it in your voice. You aren't only excited."

"Maybe a little nervous."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No?" I really don't.

"It's okay. You don't have to. Maybe later? If you start to panic, I want you to tell me, though. Alright?"

"Yeah. I don't think I will panic anymore." I hope not.

"Okay, let's eat and then you can take a nap while I unpack and do some laundry."

"Thanks. You really are too…good…uh, I mean…thanks?" Damn, her glare is scary.

"The same goes for saying I'm too good for you, Eric. That's just like saying you don't deserve me. I don't want to hear either one again!"

"Sorry. You're scary," I laugh.

"Good." She looks serious but she gives me a wink. God, I love this saucy girl.

* * *

><p><strong>SOOKIE<strong>

"Baby, you don't even have a TV in your bedroom. Do you really think he needs one?" We have been furniture shopping all morning and now Eric wants to make a trip to yet another store.

"Well, what if he wants to watch something different? What if he just wants to be alone? He used to like to be alone sometimes."

"Fine," I sigh. "Let's go get him a TV." Eric is nervous. He is on the verge of freaking out but he's trying to keep himself in check and while I appreciate that, I wish he would just talk to me about it. He still does this. He keeps things to himself until he is in full blown panic mode and I really wish he would let me in before that happens. But I will not push, as hard as it is for me to just stand back, that's what I will do.

"Thanks," he says. He looks so relieved. He knows that I know he's not okay. I think he's just thankful I'm not calling him out on it. I am determined to let him do this how he needs to but his turmoil still affects me. I hate for him to be so unsure. It seems like he is only okay as long as his life maintains an even line but the second there is a high or a low, he is thrown off and has a hard time recovering. I am so hoping that his brother will talk to him about the counseling he has had with his mom. I'm hoping Eric will see that it can be worthwhile.

So far today we have gotten a bed and dresser, and a new chair for Eric's room as well as some wall decor. Now we're getting a TV and I hope we can head home after that. Pam and Alcide are coming over after Annika's nap and staying for dinner. Pam will exchange her van for Eric's car, then. Alcide will help Eric put the bed together and the dresser will be delivered Tuesday afternoon. Eric almost had a fit that it couldn't be delivered on Monday. That was interesting. I felt sorry for the salesman. Eric is big and I don't think he realizes how intimidating he can be even if his voice is low. Luckily it got sorted when the guy assured Eric that he could have the dresser to his house by Tuesday at noon. Not that it would have mattered if Sander had to wait a day for a place to put his clothes. Eric just wants everything to be perfect.

After we pick a TV—a ridiculously huge one—we eat a late lunch and then head home with a sleepy baby.

As soon as he puts Anni in her crib to finish her nap, I take him by the hand and lead him to his own bed. I push him down to sit and kneel between his legs. He needs something else to think about for even five minutes and after last night's sex marathon, I am not equipped to take him on again right now. My mouth on him will do the trick anyway.

"What are you doing?" he asks, when I unbuckle his belt and pop the button on his pants.

"I'm sure you know what I'm doing," I whisper. "Lift your butt."

When his pants are down, I push him to lie back. He likes to watch but sometimes just closing your eyes makes everything feel that much more. I start by kissing his stomach and thighs, tracing my fingertips over the lines of his body. He really is such a gorgeous man. He starts to stir and I watch as he becomes fully engorged. It doesn't take long. When I lick him, his hips jump and he growls. I work him up until he is practically begging for release before I finally relent and let him cum in my mouth. When he just lies there after, eyes closed and panting, I know I have done well.

"Get in bed, baby," I say, pulling up his boxers. "I'm going down to get some stuff ready for Pam and Alcide. Take a nap and I will wake you when Annika wakes up."

"Thank you. I love you so much, Sookie. You are so good at taking care of me."

"I love you too, Eric."

As I start to walk out he stops me. "Will you just sit here with me until I fall asleep?"

"Sure," I answer, sitting next to him as he settles into bed. I know he didn't sleep well last night, even with me beside him. I lean down to him and run my fingers through his hair and he closes his eyes. He is out within five minutes. I worry how he's going to sleep without me here all the time. Last week he had me every night and he slept easily and seemed so relaxed. I really wish I could sleep with him every night while he still battles demons in his dreams. After I kiss Eric's sleep-smoothed forehead, I go down to the kitchen to get started on dinner.

As I peel and slice peaches for a cobbler, I remember my fun nights in Bon Temps. It really was a great trip, made even better by Eric's presence. If we forget Eric and Jason's trip to jail, the week was absolute perfection. The date I took Eric on that ended with us making out like teenagers under the stars was beyond compare. I think Eric got to third base which is much farther than any other date in my hometown ever got. And being with Tara almost everyday was so nice except that now I miss her even more. Even though I was anxious to leave my small town, it's still home and I love so many people there. I can't imagine not seeing them for so many years and I don't blame Eric at all for being nervous about his brother's return to his life. Especially since his exit was extremely troublesome.

As I chop vegetables for dinner, lost in my own remembrances of the week we just left behind, I feel Eric's hot breath on my neck just before his body closes in on mine from behind. "Hi, baby." I'm surprised he's awake.

"Hi. Can you take a little break? We still haven't properly christened this kitchen, you know," he says in a deep sex-laden voice.

"And you want to do that?" The part of him poking my back says he does.

In answer, he turns me around and lifts me onto the counter, pressing his lips to mine. "I want to do that."

"Then come on," I say, reaching for his pants to unfasten them. "Why did you even put these back on?"

"I know, right? I shouldn't even bother with pants. You shouldn't bother with clothing of any ki—aw, shit," he says, when Annika starts crying upstairs.

His scowl makes me laugh, which makes him pout more, as usual. I hop down off the counter as he walks away re-buttoning his pants on his way to get the baby.

We probably didn't have time for all that anyway. And Lord knows, I don't need anymore sex right now. I must have had five orgasms last night and I think Eric came at least three times before he finally let me get some sleep. That man has some legendary stamina.

As soon as Eric comes down with Annika, the doorbell rings. He comes back into the kitchen with Alcide who sniffs loudly and groans.

Sweeping me into his embrace, he kisses my cheek. "Cobbler?" he asks.

"Yup," I say, laughing at Eric's mock offense at his friend's innocent kiss. "Peach—that good?"

"Perfect! I may move in."

I smile sweetly and walk over to Eric. Patting his chest I say, "I'm sure Eric would love your company. You'd warm his bed real well." The looks on their faces are hilarious.

"I forgot you don't live here, Sookie. Why the hell not, Eric?" He turns towards him and Eric's smile fades quickly. "Sorry, man, that's not my business," he says.

"Eric, why don't you two get started on the bed upstairs and when Pam gets here we'll take a break and have something to eat."

Eric nods and starts to walk out but Alcide stops. "Pam is coming? Oh, okay. That's fine." I want to laugh because his tone of voice makes it known that nothing is fine about Pam coming over but I don't because he actually seems really nervous. I remember what Pam said about having casual sex with men and I also remember Alcide's face when she kissed Rasul right after she kissed him.

Eric, however, does laugh. Men. "Relax, man. I won't let her hurt you. Although, I heard you like that." He winks and looks at me but I give him a stern look and his laughter stops. Alcide _is _likely to be hurt by Pam, although not physically. I think he likes her much more than she likes him. Maybe having them here together was not a good idea.

Eric takes Alcide upstairs after a rather awkward silence and a few minutes later Pam knocks on the door.

"Hey, Pam. How are you?" I say when I invite her in. "I told you Alcide would be here, right? He's upstairs."

Pam grimaces slightly and I feel kind of bad that I invited them both. "Yeah, you told me."

"Are you two fighting?"

She gives me the signature eyebrow raise. "The opposite, actually. He's a bit of a clinger. Who knew he would get attached? I rocked his world twice and he wants to be my boyfriend."

"Oh…Did you try talking to him?"

"Beyond telling him that it's just his dick I want?"

"Pam! If Annika says that word, Eric will kill you. Can you imagine?" We both look at Annika, who is sitting on the living room floor stacking blocks. She looks up at us with a gummy smile on her sweet baby face.

"Oh my god, she's got fangs!" says Pam, picking Annika up and inspecting her mouth.

"She does not," I laugh. "She's just getting the canines before the front teeth. Sometimes that happens. Her front teeth are just about to erupt. You can feel them in there."

Pam sticks her finger in Annika's mouth and I am just about to tell her to be careful she doesn't get bitten when Pam suddenly shrieks. "She bit me! You bit me, you little vampire!" she laughs.

"That's what you get!" I laugh. "Don't go sticking things into people's mouths!"

"That's what I told Alcide," she winks.

"What's what you told Alcide?" asks the man himself as he comes down the stairs.

Pam hands Annika to me and walks up to Alcide. She grabs his chin and kisses his mouth and I groan internally. That is not the way to get a clinger to let you go. Perhaps Pam likes him more than she lets on? When she looks back at me I widen my eyes at her as if to say 'what the fuck?' and she smiles and shrugs. Ugh.

Eric comes down and gives Pam a huge hug. I love their friendship. It is so needed in his life. In fact, I think I will have a little talk with Pam to ask her to monitor Eric's stress level over the next couple days. She can try to head off any at-work panicking he does.

"Your vampire daughter bit me, Eric!" says Pam when Eric lets her go.

"Well, did you stick your finger in her mouth?" he laughs. "That wasn't very smart."

"Yeah, yeah," she says, smiling. "So what did you bring me?"

"Who says I brought you anything?" He grins like a boy and winks at her. Again, I just love their friendship.

"Well, I know you love me…"

"So I have to give you gifts?"

"Well…yes!" says Pam, giving him her best _duh_ look. Let me tell you—there is a whole lot of sass in that look!

Eric gives her back his best _you have got to be kidding me_ look but after a small silence, he relents and grins broadly. "I bought you something. You will love it!"

I know what he's going to give her and let's just say, she will in no way love it. In fact, if she doesn't throw it down and stomp on it, I will be mighty surprised.

She claps her hands like a little girl as Eric brings out the bag with her present in it. When she pulls out the genuine alligator paw back scratcher, she shrieks like a mouse ran over her foot and flings it to the floor. Eric throws his head back and roars with laughter. It really is the best thing ever! He is so happy with her reaction. Everyone else starts laughing too, including Annika, which makes Eric laugh even harder.

"What the fuck is that?" Pam screeches. Eric is laughing too hard to even scold her for her foul language—he can barely catch his breath.

When he finally calms down, he wipes his eyes and sighs. "Oh my god, that was the best. That was better than I thought it would be."

Eric goes to hug Pam but she backs up and narrows her eyes. "That was so not funny," she says, but there is a hint of humor on her face, probably from seeing Eric so happy.

"Pam, it was pretty freaking funny," say Alcide.

Pam turns her glare on him. "You are cut off," she says. "Your Pam ship has sailed, honey."

Alcide opens his mouth but can't find his words so he just stares at her kind of like a little puppy. I pull Eric to the dining table to get Pam's real gift and to give Alcide a moment of privacy with the woman he desires.

"What?" Eric whispers.

"Just give them a minute. I don't know what's up with them but they need a minute."

"Okay," he shrugs. He is not at all observant about these things. He grabs the box with Pam's freshwater pearl necklace, which is his real gift to her, and I put Anni down and grab the things I brought back for Pam and Alcide, including the box full of fried pies and cheese straws that Gran made for Alcide. "It's fine?" he asks, jerking his head towards Pam.

They look okay so I walk back over there with Eric following. As we walk up, they are both smiling but as I hear the word "punishment," I really wish I would have spent two more minutes with Eric across the room. I will choose to blissfully ignore the plans I think they are making for later.

After we give them their gifts, which are much better received than the back scratcher, we eat dinner and then the boys go back up to finish the bed.

"Pam, did Eric tell you Sander is coming for a visit on Tuesday?" I ask her as I get Annika her cup of milk before bed.

"He did. He is hyped up beyond belief about it. I'm so happy for him." Her smile is warm and genuine for her best friend.

"I am too. I can't wait to meet him. Did you ever meet him?"

"Once. I went back to Sweden with Eric for Christmas several years ago—before his father died and he fell out with his mother. It was sort of a disaster. But Sander is a charming person when he's not high. Very sweet, kind of shy. Incredible musician. Also incredibly lost. The amount of effort that Eric put into trying to make him happy, hurt my heart. It was obvious that nothing would do it, but Eric just kept trying. I mean, he tried for years. He felt responsible for Sander's happiness and it almost killed him when he had to let Sander go like he did. I told you that, right? That's when Sophie got her hooks into him."

"Yeah." The thought of what that bitch did to further break a broken man, still makes me want to fucking kill her. "Can I just admit something to you and you won't judge me for it?"

"Of course, Sookie. We're friends."

I look up the stairs to make sure Eric is not heading down and then say, "I am scared that Sander is going to send Eric into a tailspin. I'm so terrified that he will negate every good thing Eric has learned about how to cope and how to talk and open up. I can tell Eric is already freaking out and he won't talk about it. He couldn't sleep on the plane, he couldn't nap when we got home this afternoon and I know he barely slept last night. When I woke up at four in the morning for the bathroom, his side of the bed was empty and cold. When I ask him how he feels, he admits that he's nervous but that's it. I know he wants to see his brother—he is desperate for that connection—and I feel horrible about it, but as excited as I am to meet Sander, I am just as fearful that it's going to be responsible for pushing Eric right back down where he was when I met him."

"Oh, Sookie," she says, giving me a big hug. "He is so lucky to have you. Don't feel bad for wanting to look out for him. Honestly, I have the same thoughts. The only thing we can do is be there for him, right? Not let him spiral. I promise you I will look out for him at work. If he is panicking either tomorrow or Tuesday, I will call you. And you give me a head's up if you want me to say something to him. Deal? I will be ready to deal with a grouch. I know how he is when he doesn't sleep. Trust me—it can't get any worse then when that…when her mom," she says, looking at Annika, "left him."

"Thank you so much, Pam. I am so glad you're his best friend." Telling Pam all of this, which I have been trying to stuff down because of the guilt I feel, lifts a heavy weight I wasn't aware was sitting on my chest. I feel so much better and I feel more equipped to help Eric, too. I just hope none of my fears about Sander's visit will be founded. I want this to be a happy time for Eric because he has been through enough pain and he deserves a joyful reunion with his brother.

* * *

><p><strong>So I know maybe you wanted more Bon Temps but I wanted to move them along so Eric can reunite his brother. Sorry if you are disappointed not to see more of the Bon Temps family but Gran and Jason will be at her graduation in two months!<strong>

**Thanks for everyone reading and reviewing! Sorry this chapter took a long time to get out. It's long though, does that make up for it a little? :)**

**As always, please visit my wordpress site for visuals and my rant about the end of True Blood, lol. Also my story Getting It On is up to chapter 11 over there if you are reading that. Thanks!**


	45. Chapter 45

ERIC

Monday morning and there is still so much to do. Not to say I am 'freaking out' as Sookie says, but I am feeling a good amount of stress over my brother's visit. I'm really excited, almost unbearably so, that I will get to see and hug my brother tomorrow, but I also feel this odd sense of something not so good. Dread? Fear? I don't know what to call it but it doesn't feel good. It makes my chest tight and my stomach sick and it's only the smiles of my two girls that do anything to make it better.

Sookie rolls over to face me and gives my bare chest a pat. I kiss her head and she snuggles into my side, tossing one leg over mine. "Morning, handsome," she says to me.

"Good morning, beautiful," I sigh. Sookie's hand starts to rub up and down my chest, delving lower and lower each time. When she turns and starts to kiss down my chest, I gently pull her back up. "I don't really feel like it," I say softly, hoping she doesn't get offended that I'm refusing her affections.

Sookie lifts her face to mine and smiles sweetly at me. "It's okay, baby," she says, smoothing my brow. "I just figured I could help you relax. How do you feel?"

Pulling her with me as I sit against my headboard, I say, "I'm okay I think."

"Are you sure? You can talk to me."

"I just...I'm not sure how I feel so I don't really think talking about it will help."

Sookie lifts her head from my shoulder and looks at my face and I work to keep my gaze steady on hers. "Talking it out might help you figure out how you feel. It helps me."

"Well, I'm not you. I don't want to talk about it and I have to get ready for work," I say, removing myself from her embrace and walking to the bathroom. We usually share a shower on Monday mornings but she doesn't come in after me so I shower alone with my thoughts and my fucking feelings. By the time I get out, I have gone round and round my thoughts and still haven't figured out how I should be feeling. I hate feelings at this point and want no part of them.

"Hey," says Sookie when I come out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around my hips, "look who's up!" Her cheerful voice seems out of place and I realize she is trying to make me feel better. I love her for it, I really do, but it's not going to happen that easily.

"God morgon, min lilla docka," I tell Annika, taking her from Sookie and hugging her to my chest. She reaches up to touch my wet hair when I bend my head to kiss her. She squeals as drops of water land on her face when she waves her hand through my hair. For the first time since last night, my heart feels lighter as I look at my daughter's delighted smile. I shake my head gently and she laughs as more water rains down on her little face. "Jag älskar dig, Anni!" I say to her as she laughs and says my name over and over.

"Come on, Anni, let's get you dressed so Daddy can get dressed too," says Sookie, taking Annika. They walk across the hall and I drop my towel to pull on some boxers. Before I can step into them, Sookie wolf whistles from across the hall and I look over my shoulder to see her looking appreciatively at my ass as I bend over. She gets my second smile of the morning and a shake of my head at her antics. Sookie just laughs to herself as she dresses Annika in something pink. Probably something Pam bought her. I don't think she has even worn it all yet.

While I feed Annika some Cheerios and fruit, Sookie takes a shower and gathers her papers for class. She barely has any books, instead she has stacks and stacks of papers to read through and she gets more all the time. I don't know how she keeps up with everything she needs to do and takes such good care of me and Anni as well. She is truly an angel and I am so lucky to have her. I don't do nearly as much to take care of her as she does for me, and she wonders why I say I don't deserve her. I hope she doesn't get tired of me being so needy; I'm sure one day I won't take so much from her.

When Sookie comes down I walk up and hug her. Her wet hair is piled into a bun on the top of her head so I push my face into her bare neck. I love the smell of her when she comes out of the shower but I like her scent even better after a while, when she smells more like herself and less like soap. Still, her neck is my favorite spot, even if I haven't had my face here in a while. "Baby," she whispers, petting the back of my head.

"I'm sorry," I mumble into her neck.

"What for?"

"I'm sorry I'm so much trouble. Nothing is ever easy with me, is it?"

"Easy is boring," she says, lifting my face with a hand on each cheek, "and you are not trouble." She stares into my eyes until I give her a small smile. She kisses my mouth and then lets me go, walking into the kitchen. "What can I make you to eat?" she calls out, opening the fridge. "Hmm, looks like it might have to be cereal or eggs. Nope...just eggs. The milk is expired."

"I'm not hungry anyway, Sookie. I'll grab something at work."

"It will only take a few minutes, Eric. Haley won't be here for fifteen more minutes. You need to eat."

"I said I'm not hungry! I can at least figure out when I'm hungry, Sookie." Shit. Fuck! "I'm sorry!" I say quickly when I see Sookie looking at me with raised eyebrows. Her face relaxes and she walks up and rubs my arm.

"Okay, Eric. Eat at work, honey." She's too nice. She knows I'm not okay and she's being too nice and it makes me feel even shittier.

I sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that, Eric. It's okay. You're stressed; I understand."

"Why are you always so fucking nice?" I say. Fuck! Again. "I'm sorry. I'm going to sit over here." I walk to the couch and turn on the TV and try not to watch Sookie sharing a banana with Anni at the table. I don't deserve either of them.

As soon as Haley gets to my place, I am up with my jacket and shoes on, ready to go. I kiss Annika as Sookie talks to Haley briefly about our trip. Sookie gives her the homemade treats Gran made for her and Haley kisses Annika as I wait by the door. I see Sookie whisper something to Haley before we leave and then Haley comes and gives me a hug before she says goodbye. I'd be lying if I said her hug wasn't welcome or soothing but I'm tired of needing to be soothed. "Thanks, see you tonight. I won't be late," I say and then we are off.

Sookie tries to start about five conversations with me in the car but my one word answers soon have her giving up. I'm not in the mood to talk right now. When I get to her campus, she kisses me quickly on the cheek, squeezes my hand and then gets out. Because there is a bit of traffic where I dropped her off, I watch her as she walks a little way, stops, and then pulls out her phone. I wonder briefly who she would be calling, but then the cars start to move and I have to drive instead of think.

* * *

><p>SOOKIE<p>

"Pam, it's like walking on eggshells here. Be ready for him," I say. Eric has just dropped me off on campus and gone to work. As I walk to my first class, I feel the need to call Pam and let her know that Eric is acting very tense this morning.

"I'll be ready. Is he in freak-out mode?"

"He is so beyond freaking out, Pam. He's in shut-down mode or something. Trying to talk to him this morning was like pulling teeth. He didn't even want…well, nevermind," I laugh, embarrassed that I almost told Pam that he refused a blow job this morning.

"Sex?" she says and I can almost hear the eyebrow raise.

"Something like that," I answer with a laugh. "Please make him eat something today. God, he's going to be even worse tomorrow, isn't he? Hopefully he'll calm down once Sander gets in. I hate to watch him so stressed out."

"I know, Sookie. I hate it too. I will keep an eye on him today. Are you available at all today? In case I need to reach you?"

"I will have my phone with me but I have classes all day and then my lab. I really can't get away but call me if you think he needs me and I'll try to figure something out."

"Okay. He'll be okay, don't worry."

"Alright, thanks, Pam."

To say I'm distracted for the rest of the day, would be a massive understatement. I can't stop thinking about Eric and wondering how he's doing. Hopefully he has thrown himself into his work so that he has no time to think and worry. Just to ease my mind, I call Pam between my classes and my lab. It's well after lunch time but it's my first chance to take a break all day.

"Pam? How is he?" I ask, as soon as she picks up the phone.

"He's okay, Sookie. Definitely stressed but he seems okay. He ate lunch but I couldn't get him interested in breakfa…oh, shit…hold on," she says and then I can tell she has covered the receiver with her hand. I can hear muffled talking—her voice and Eric's louder voice. What the fuck is going on? I want to yell for her, but I know Pam can't hear me right now. "Sookie? I have to go. Call Eric right now, please."

"Pam! What happened?" I say but she has already hung up. I hurry to find Eric's work number in my phone. I have no idea what's going on. The phone rings and rings and finally when I am about to hang up and try Pam again, Eric answers.

"What?" he snaps. Oookay. Grumpy much?

"Eric? How are you, honey?" I don't know if he knows Pam told me to call so I try to be nonchalant about the whole thing.

"She told you to call me, didn't she? I'm not a baby! I don't need looking after!"

"Eric, honey, we just want you to be happy," I say. I feel like I'm trying to talk a jumper down from a roof. Eric is definitely very stressed out.

"I'll be happy for you to stay the fuck out of it!" I know he wouldn't normally speak to me like this so I'm trying to stay calm instead of meeting him head on with the curse words but I know some anger seeps into my voice as I talk to him.

"Eric, you need to calm down. Right now! I don't deserve to be spoken to like that. I love you and I'm trying to help you. Take a deep breath…now. Eric?"

"Yes," he says, drawing out the s sound into a hiss of annoyance.

"Take. A deep. Breath."

"Fine." I can hear him inhaling and then slowly exhaling. After a couple seconds of silence he sighs. "I'm sorry," he whispers, "Thank you."

"Are you okay now? Tell me what happened."

"The furniture guy. He can't get the dresser. Low inventory, so either I wait a week or pick something else that he promises will be delivered Thursday afternoon. It's not fucking good enough! Sander will have no place to put his clothes!" Oh boy. He's starting to get angry again.

"I'm sure he won't mind, Eric. Thursday is only two days later. Don't you think Sander will understand?" He is irrationally upset about this.

"But I wanted everything to be perfect," he murmurs, sounding so defeated. I knew that was it. He will never get perfect so he needs to accept that now.

"I know you do, baby. I know…but Sander will understand. Nothing will ever be perfect, Eric, but you have done such a good job of getting things ready for Sander so he will feel at home. He will be happy, I promise you."

"Okay," he says, sounding only slightly better.

"Good. I love you. Now transfer me to Pam, please."

"I love you, too. Here's Pam," he says, before I hear a click and then Pam's voice.

"Pam, I think he's okay. Was he yelling at the guy?"

"Yes," she says in a measured voice.

"Is Eric right there?"

"Yes," she says again.

"Okay, just listen. Ask him for the number to the furniture store so I can call—"

"Already done."

"You already have it?"

"Already taken care of, everything's fine," she says and then to Eric I can hear her say, "Can I help you with anything or do you just want to admire my beauty? Yeah, fuck you too, boss," she laughs.

"Is he gone?"

"Yes. So yeah, I talked to the man. I had to grab Eric's cell phone; he was screaming at the poor guy. It's taken care of. The dresser Eric picked will be delivered by Thursday from some store in Pennsylvania. I told him his delivery van would drive all night if necessary."

"Thanks, Pam, you're a miracle worker."

"Nonsense. I just know how to scare everything with a penis. It's all in the attitude."

I can practically see the self-satisfied smirk on her face and it makes me laugh. "Great, Pam. Well, thanks. Eric seems fine but I'm going to head over to his place after my lab. I would normally sleep at home tonight but I don't want to leave him alone; he'll get zero sleep. Push him out the door as soon as you can, alright?"

"Sure thing, Sookie. He'll be fine. Thanks for calling him."

"No problem. Hey, are you going to come around to say hi to Sander sometime?"

"Eric said he'd bring him here when he's over his jet lag but if not, yes, I will be over."

"Good, well, we'll have dinner anyway. I'll plan something."

"Great, Sookie. Talk to you."

I hang up with Pam and then have to run over to my lab to meet the first research subject and his mom.

By the time I get to Eric's, it's six o'clock and he is still not home. Hopefully he's on his way. I let Haley go home and start to make dinner while we wait for Eric. Feeling a little sullen, I decide to play some music from my iPod through Eric's TV to cheer up before he gets home. So with Pearl Jam blasting through the condo, and Anni at my feet, I mix shredded cheese with some jarred pasta sauce to make baked ziti as soon as the pasta cooks. Just as I'm pouring the ziti into the baking dish, I feel Eric's long body against mine from the back and his lips at my neck.

"Hi, angel," he whispers in my ear, "This is a nice surprise." Someone feels better.

I put the pot on the counter and turn around, hugging his waist. "I thought I'd keep you company tonight. Keep your mind from wandering too badly."

He bends to kiss me as Annika starts to try to climb up his pant leg. He scoops her up, kissing her cheeks loudly, and she giggles, smacking him in the head. "Yeah, yeah, smack your old man in the head. I deserve it. Your daddy was a bad boyfriend today, Anni. You would be ashamed of me if you knew how I treated your second-favorite person."

"Oh, nonsense, Eric," I say, waving him off. "I am most definitely her favorite!" I grin and slide away from him as he stalks towards me with a playfully menacing look on his face. I squeal when he catches me and bites at my neck. His bites turn into nibbles, which turn into kisses that he then trails up my jaw to my mouth. Annika is still on his hip so we can't take this too far but his kisses are definitely welcome after today.

After dinner and Annika's bedtime routine, we lie together in bed, both of us looking at the ceiling, neither of us talking. It's early but we could both use some extra sleep after today. After about five minutes of silence, Eric's hand searches around for mine and when he finds it, we twine our fingers together.

"I will be better tomorrow, Sookie," Eric says, his voice full of sorrow.

"I just need you to talk to me, Eric. Especially when things get hard, you need to tell me how you feel. If you don't try so hard to keep your feelings inside, they won't explode out of you, requiring so many apologies."

"You're right. You're so right," he says, rolling onto his side so he can look at me. He pauses for a couple seconds, gathering his thoughts. "I'm scared, Sookie. What if Sander isn't better? What if he hates me? What if I don't like _him_? What if this visit is a disaster? I want everything to be perfect but I'm so afraid, Sookie."

The look on Eric's face as he confesses his many fears, is so utterly heartbreaking. We talk each one through and I think, by the end, Eric feels much better. He again tells me how tomorrow he will be better. He is so worried about what his turmoil means for me but I'm only worried for him.

"I love you, Eric, and I'm glad you will try to be better tomorrow. But even if you're not I will love you. You're mine, Eric. Always and forever, mine. I will always want to take care of you."

Eric rolls to his stomach and kisses our clasped hands with tears in his eyes. One escapes down his face and I wipe it away and then kiss his damp cheek. He fastens his lips onto mine and kisses me breathless with a rumble in his chest. I love that sound and I pull his hips over so he will lay his body down on top of mine. We kiss again and he rocks his hips, growing hard against my center. When we are no longer satisfied with kissing, we undress each other slowly and gently pet each other's skin. Eric whispers beautiful things to me, loving me with his words as well as his body. He tells me how lost he would be without me, how much better his life is with me in it, how happy I make him, and how thankful he is for me. By the time my orgasm overtakes me, I can't hold back my tears at his heartfelt sentiments and we climax together, his mouth on top of mine catching my cries of pleasure.

Eric stays nestled inside me, kissing me gently and wiping my tears, and I feel him getting hard again. I smile at him and squeeze my muscles around his length, drawing a groan from his lips. "Again," he whispers against my mouth. I am all too happy to oblige and I squeeze him one more time, jumpstarting his hips which thrust with long strokes through my heat. When we have thoroughly tired each other out, we fall asleep in each other's arms, with me holding tight to Eric so I will know if he wakes up in the night.

In the morning, when the sun is shining through the windows and warming up the room, I wake up and Eric is still in my arms. His head is resting on my breasts and as I try to gently remove myself from underneath him, I realize that I am naked and have been naked all night. I slept with no clothes on for the entire night for the first time and did not feel uncomfortable in the least. In fact, I felt safe and happy and loved and that is only because of Eric. As soon as I get out from under him, I gently roll him onto his back and kneel between his legs. I want him to wake up as happy as I am.

As I run my hands lightly over his thighs, his erection swells from half mast to…do they call it full mast? Anyway, he gets hard—very hard. When I finally put my mouth on him, his chest almost immediately rumbles in a purr and his hand comes to the back of my head. He starts to thrust his hips up and I am just about to pull him out of my mouth so I don't gag, when his hips still and he says, "Sookie?"

Sitting up on my knees, I smile and say, "Who else? Should I keep going?"

"Please…keep going," he agrees, fisting his erection and lifting it for my mouth.

It doesn't take long for him to cum with a deep moan and then we shower together. Eric gets frisky again and decides to go down on me in the shower, which would probably work better if he didn't need to breathe. Anyway, he leaves me satisfied and he seems happy as we get dressed.

"Did you sleep well? I slept better than I have in a long time," he says. Confession is good for the soul…and sleep, I guess.

"I slept really well. But next time, _you're_ sleeping in the wet spot," I tease.

"Nu-uh," he says, "It's only wet because of what comes out of you, so you should sleep there."

"It's only because you put it in me that it comes out, you know!" I say, throwing my towel at his head.

He ducks and then narrows his eyes. "You are gonna get it!" he says, coming for me. He drops his towel on his way to get me and I scramble onto the bed to get away from him. I can't stop laughing and neither can he, as he tackles me to the bed and attacks me with kisses all over my face.

"Eww, man cooties! Stop!" I screech.

He laughs harder, tipping his head back, and I use the opportunity to launch myself at him, making him fall backwards onto the mattress. He throws his arms around me and rolls us so that once again, he has the advantage. I am just about to get the upper hand by playing dirty and grabbing what I can feel is hard against my thigh, but Annika starts crying, cutting grown-up playtime short.

Grumbling, Eric throws on a pair of boxers and goes to get Anni across the hall. He comes back with her and pretends like he's going to toss her onto the bed, swinging her back and forth a few times while she laughs and shrieks with joy. His face is alight with happiness and I am so glad for that. It's quite a contrast from just twenty-four hours earlier and I hope it sticks with him for the rest of the day.

Once we all get dressed and eat, Eric writes out a grocery list for me with some of the foods he knows Sander likes and I promise to be waiting for him when he gets home from work.

—~~—~~—

Eric is so fidgety as we wait for Sander's plane to arrive. He has to clear customs even when he does so we are here way too early but Eric didn't want to wait at home any longer.

"Go walk her around again," I tell him so he will stop bouncing his knee at my side. His fidgeting is starting to make me anxious. He gets up and walks slowly behind Annika as she toddles around smiling at all the other people waiting on the airport seats.

We have thirty or forty minutes to wait until Sander exits security and I need Eric to calm down a little. He did well until we left the house but as he drove during rush hour to the airport, every other word out of his mouth was a whispered curse. He was freaked out about being late but here we sit, way too early and bored out of our minds.

Finally people start to trickle out of the door from customs and Eric hands me Annika and walks quickly so he can be in front of the waiting crown. Not like he's taller than everyone here. He could stand behind every single person and still be visible from the front. But he's excited, I get that. I'm excited for him. I just hope this visit is everything he wants it to be. I hope it makes him happy to see that Sander is now doing well. Well, I hope Sander is actually doing well.

I watch the people coming out and every time I see someone tall and dark, I sit a little straighter, wondering if it's him. But I should have known Eric would spot him first. All of a sudden Eric strides forward and practically flies at a man I can only assume is his brother. They throw their arms around each other and stand there hugging while people walk around them. I get up with Annika and walk nearer to them but I am reluctant to interrupt their reunion.

Eric has tears in his eyes which he keeps wiping away but Sander is full on weeping. They are standing, clutching each other, Eric's hand on the back of his brother's neck holding Sander's face to his shoulder. Their arms are around each other and every single person in the area is watching them. These two giant men, locked in each other's embrace, crying. It nearly makes my heart burst.

"Dada!" yells Annika which makes Eric take a step back and look our way. His eyes meet mine and the emotion in his takes my breath away. My darling is so happy and so overwhelmed. He puts his arm across Sander's shoulders and leads him over to us.

He takes Annika from me and says, "This is my princess, Annika. Annika, meet your uncle Sander."

"Danda," says Annika. I've been practicing with her today and she did me proud. Both boys look incredulous that she just said his name, although in her baby way.

Eric smiles that brilliant smile just for her. "Yes, princess! Sander!" he says. He is so excited and it's so damn cute!

Sander smiles and reaches his arms out slowly to Annika. "Hello, Annika. My niece," he says in very accented English. Wow, Eric's accent is nonexistent in comparison. Annika reaches for him and lets him hold her. He hugs her tightly to his chest and kisses her hair. He starts talking in Swedish to her so I look at Eric, who beams at me.

"My brother," he says softly to me as he comes in for a hug. "My brother and my baby."

"Yes, baby," I whisper to him, stroking his hair when he bring his face to my neck. Eric has his baby but he is mine and I am so grateful for his happiness right now. I am dying to meet Sander but will give him a moment with his niece.

When Eric pulls back from our hug, he asks me if I want to meet his brother. He has been saying 'my brother' instead of Sander whenever he talks about him for weeks now. I love how he wants to claim him, the only family who was as innocent as him.

"I definitely want to meet him," I say. "He's beautiful just like you." Eric beams at me and tugs my hand like an impatient boy and I follow him over to where Sander is standing.

Annika reaches for Eric, having had enough of the kind stranger whose arms she is in. She trusted him right away though so I know they will get along very well.

"Sander, this is my girlfriend, Sookie. Sookie, my brother, Sander." Eric's smile is going to split his face if it gets any bigger as he introduces us.

I stick out my hand but Sander pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek. My face flames red as he lets me go, I think because of the raw emotion in his embrace. Pam said he was shy, so I didn't expect this level of familiarity.

"Eric has told me much about you, Sookie. I am thankful for you in his life. He loves you very much, I can tell."

"Well, I love him just as much," I say, putting my arm around Eric's waist, "and I am so happy to meet you, Sander." He grins at me, easily capturing my eyes with his and I am struck by how very Eric-like he is, despite some differences in appearance.

Sander is a few inches shorter than Eric and has a slighter frame. He has the same gorgeous thick hair, only his is dark, the same intense eyes, only his are green. He has the chin dimple, the full bottom lip, and the high forehead. They are definitely brothers—both beautiful men.

"Let's go home," says Eric, handing me the baby and grabbing Sander's suitcases. They walk ahead of Annika and me, side by side, and I can't help but notice the other thing they have in common—they both have that beautiful Northman butt.

"Da da!" says Annika, "Da da. Danda!"

"Yeah! Both of them!" I say to her little grinning face.

* * *

><p><strong>So, The guy I have in mind for Sander is Harry Lloyd. If you go to my wordpress site, you can see him or you can look him up. I like his look and I think he often has that same intense thing going on.<strong>

**Thanks for all the reviews and alerts on this story. I don't think I got to everyone who reviewed last chapter but I appreciate them so thank you! :)**


	46. Chapter 46

**SOOKIE**

I stay the night with Eric on Tuesdays anyway so it's no big deal for me to get Annika ready for bed so Eric can catch up with Sander once we get home. I can hear them talking animatedly in Swedish while I'm playing with her in the bath. They must be in the guest room. I wish I could understand them. I have a feeling I'm going to be hearing a lot of Swedish for the next few weeks. Maybe I should make an effort to learn some. I would love for Eric to take me to Sweden one day. I've never been out of the country and barely been out of my home state.

"Want to go to Sweden with Daddy?" I ask Annika.

"Da Dee," she says, the same way she says baby, with a huge emphasis on the "ee."

The rate at which she is learning new words is astounding.

"Yes, baby girl, Daddy! You are so smart!"

She grins at me and kicks her legs when I take her out of the water, getting my pants all wet. Once I dry her off and get her into some pajamas, I take her into Eric's room so I can change my clothes. I decide to just put my pajamas on since it's getting late.

"Hey, baby, I have someone who wants to say goodnight to you," I tell Eric when I peak into the guest room to see the brothers sitting on the couch talking.

"Da Dee!" she screeches.

Eric hops up and sails across the room to grab her and spin her around. She laughs and laughs and if circumstances were different I'd tell him to knock it off because he is riling her up when she needs to sleep. It's already past her bedtime and she gets harder and harder to put down the later it gets.

"When did she learn how to say that?" he asks, walking her back over to say goodnight to Sander.

"Just now in the bath. She's got so many words now!"

"My niece is such a smart girl!" says Sander.

We all smile as Annika kisses Eric and then Sander and as I turn around to head out, Eric walks up and says he will come with me. He's quiet until we reach Annika's room and shut the door.

"Hey, um, do you think you could…wear more clothes around my brother?" Eric looks extremely uncomfortable to be having this conversation.

"More clothes?" I ask, blinking slowly. I'm wearing pajama pants and a tank top, nothing sexy or revealing.

"I'm sorry," he says, immediately backtracking.

"I'm wearing my pajamas…"

"Yeah, but…do you think you could wear, um, a bra?" His face is deep red and it's spreading down his neck which is the only reason I am not more upset.

"Was Sander looking at my boobs?" I hadn't noticed.

"No! No, I don't think so."

"Do you think I made him uncomfortable?" I would never want that.

"Um, no…" He looks down and grabs Annika, walking to her crib, so he doesn't have to face me.

"I made _you_ uncomfortable?" His back is to me and I can see that he stiffened up when I said that. "I made you uncomfortable?"

"A little. Nevermind what I said. Wear what you want. I'm just being stupid." There is something to this but we can't get into it now. I will have to talk to him later.

Walking up to him, I slip my arm around his waist and lean my head on his shoulder as he sways and hums to Annika.

"Tell me later?" I ask quietly. He nods and keeps on humming.

Hours later, after I have finished my classwork and fallen asleep to the sounds of murmured Swedish and occasional laughter, I wake up as Eric gets into bed. He is too giant to do it quietly and it always wakes me up. Not that I mind. That just means I can roll over and lay my head on his chest while I drift back to sleep. This time though, I want to know about our conversation from earlier.

Shifting up to my elbows, I turn to look at him. "Tell me."

"Tell you what?" he says. He smells like alcohol. He and Sander must have shared some drinks.

"Tell me about earlier when you wanted me to dress more conservatively around Sander."

"Oh," he mumbles. "It's nothing."

"Eric!" I say as sternly as I can while still whispering.

"He stole my girlfriend," he blurts out and then rolls over and stuffs his face into his pillow. Is he embarrassed?

"What? When? When he lived with you?"

He slowly lifts his face and looks over at me. "Yeah. Not my girlfriend, really. Just a girl I had hooked up with a couple times. She stayed the night and then I had to go to classes. When I got home, she was fucking Sander. He was high, he says he didn't know our connection. But she was wearing my shirt and she fucking still smelled like me."

"Oh." Yikes, these guys have a lot to settle between themselves.

"She said he came onto her, told her we shared, the little shit. I was pissed; he said I shouldn't let my girls walk around half-naked."

"And so…But you know I would never do that—"

"Holy fuck, Sookie! I never ever would think you would do that. That's why I said nevermind. I am just being stupid. It's just holdover jealousy and I'm sorry to drag you into it. Just forget it, okay?"

He looks at me with pleading eyes and I rush to make him feel better. "Of course, Eric. I can understand why you said it. And I will make sure to wear a bra. Not because I think anything would happen but I want you both to be comfortable, okay?"

"Thank you, angel. It wouldn't be such a problem if you didn't have such a nice rack," he says, leering at my breasts comically.

"Oh, stop, perv! Go to sleep."

"Do you like him?" he asks out of the blue.

"Sander? Yes, he seems very nice. Seems like he's turned his life around. And I am so happy to see such light in your eyes, baby. _So_ happy."

"Thanks, Sookie. Goodnight." After a slow kiss he pulls me into his chest, pushes his face into my hair and exhales loudly. It's been a long, emotional day for him.

"Goodnight, honey."

~~—~~—~~

It's not until Friday night that I see Eric or Sander again. When I get to Eric's condo I use my key to let myself in because it's Annika's bedtime and I don't want to disturb her or Eric.

When I step into the house, I am immediately struck by the music I can hear. And it's not from the radio. Eric and Sander are sitting on the couch with Annika on the floor in front of them. Sander is singing and playing his guitar and Eric is singing along. I can't tell what they are saying because the song is in Swedish, but their voices…their voices blend together and then meander apart to create a beautiful, heart melting two-part melody. I have mostly heard Eric hum but his singing voice is just as deep and full of soul. Sander's voice is angelic but gritty...as if the archangel Gabriel had a two pack a day habit.

I stand back and just watch and listen. Annika is completely enthralled and is just looking wide-eyed back and forth between the brothers. I understand her feelings exactly. I am totally awestruck by the feeling in their song and how wonderful they sound together.

When their song ends, no one moves. Finally Eric notices me and gives me a heartfelt grin as he gets up to greet me.

"I missed you, angel," he whispers in my ear as he embraces me tightly in his arms. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Eric." He holds onto me for a lot longer than he usually does. "Are you okay?" I ask against his ear. I pull back to look at his face when he doesn't verbally answer me. He's nodding but his eyes tell me something else. I lean up to kiss his cheek. "Later," I murmur.

He gives me a tiny smile and then turns around to scoop up Anni, who is hugging his legs.

"Hey, baby girl! Did you miss me, too? I missed you, precious!"

"Cookie!" she says very carefully, as if she's trying it on for size.

"Cookie? Is that me? Sookie? Oh, baby!"

"I thought I'd try to teach her to say it right so she doesn't think she should call you something else. That's as close as she can get."

He doesn't want her to call me Mama. Not that I mind, but I guess we don't want to confuse her or other people. "That's great, darlin', thanks!" I take Annika from him and kiss her cheeks loudly as I walk over to Sander, who has remained seated on the couch.

"Good evening, Sookie. Are you well?" he greets.

I surprise him by pulling him into a hug once I put the baby down.

"That was a beautiful song, Sander. I'd love to hear what it's about some time."

He beams at me when we sit back. "Thank you very much. I would love to tell you about it. Mama used to sing it to us before we went to sleep. I am afraid I forced Eric to sing it to Annika. He does not like to sing? He used to sing," he says quietly.

Hmm, maybe that explains the emotion in Eric's eyes. A song his mom used to sing to him. It must be hard for him to have so many painful memories. I hope he can reconcile with his mom someday.

"He hums to Annika, but not that song."

Eric comes over to get Annika and take her to bed. She kisses Sander and says his name and then kisses me and calls me 'cookie' again. It is so damn adorable! Once they are gone, Sander turns to me again.

"You make him so happy, Sookie. He talks about you all the time. He told me on the phone what happened with Annika's mother. That was…how can I say it…heartbreaking to hear of. He seemed very sad to tell me. But I can see that he is so happy with you and that you are very good to him. Thank you."

"I love him. He's a good man; I just want him to be happy."

"That is what I want, too. I caused very much grief in his life for far too long, I am afraid. It is wonderful that he still wants me in his life and in his daughter's life. I do not wish to disappoint him again."

"Oh, Sander," I say, hugging him again. If he's going to be here for a month, he might as well get used to the hugs now. "I'm so happy to hear you say that. Eric loves you so much. The morning when he first got your call, he was unbelievably happy. I'm so glad that you're here!"

"Thank you, Sookie," he says with tears streaming down his face. He cried at the airport, too—much more openly than Eric—and I wonder if he was always like that or if the counseling he has gone through helps him be more in touch with his emotions.

He takes off his glasses and wipes his eyes on the inside of his shirt collar. He squeezes my hand and smiles, not embarrassed at all to be crying. Eric could benefit from seeing this.

"Sander," I say, and then hesitate. He raises his eyebrows in a move that reminds me of Eric, so I continue. "I know you have been talking to a counselor for a while…"

"Yes, for a year since I got clean. It is very helpful."

"That's the thing—I think it would be helpful for Eric and I was wondering if you could maybe talk a little bit about that with Eric. I mean, not like tell him he should go, but just let him know that it helped you a lot? Maybe if you guys talk about your life for the past year?"

"I have thought of that, Sookie. I even have the names of some people along with a couple sponsors and meetings to look into while I am here. I wondered if maybe Eric would like to come with me but he does not like to talk about these things. He becomes quiet when I do. I don't want to upset him while I am in his home. But I will try again."

Why does that not surprise me that Eric shuts down when Sander brings up the possibility of counseling? Hopefully he will get better as he gets more comfortable with his brother. It's been a long time since he has known him sober.

Eric comes downstairs so we switch to talking about their day. Sander went into work with Eric and hung out with Pam all day.

Over beer and wine, Sander tells us how Pam told him she was going to take him shopping and when he told her he had no money for clothes, she said they would use Eric's money. What else are big brothers for? Eric, of course, said yes, so Sander has a shopping date with Pam for next week. I can almost hear the conversation Eric must have had with Pam, instructing her not to tie his brother up and fuck him. I don't think she would do that…I hope.

By the time we get to bed, I am completely buzzed from my two beers and glass of wine. Sander is the only totally sober one among us, having had only a single beer earlier in the night. Eric and Sander did some more singing, this time a bit rowdier and from what Eric translated, very much dirtier. We are in no mood to discuss anything heavy so I will leave it for the morning.

"Goodnight, beautiful. I would ravish you but I think I might fall off," Eric whispers in my ear. Yup, drunk, or at least extremely buzzed.

"You are silly. Go to sleep."

* * *

><p><strong>ERIC<strong>

I wake up feeling slightly dehydrated and peel Sookie off of me to get a drink in my bathroom before getting Annika.

"Åh, hej (oh, hey)," I say to Sander, who is rocking with Anni in the chair in her room.

He answers me in Swedish, which he is much more comfortable speaking than English. We've been speaking Swedish all week and Annika has picked up a couple words of it.

"I was awake early and so was she so I thought we would spend a little time together. Besides, I thought you could use the sleep."

"Thanks, little brother. Should we go make breakfast?"

"Yes, I'm starving!"

Annika repeats the "yaaaah" sound like she always does. She seems to like that particular Swedish word.

When Sookie walks downstairs, she is showered and dressed and I wonder if it's because I made her feel uncomfortable in her pajamas. That was not my intention. I should have just kept my foolish mouth shut. I walk over to her and give her a big hug. "Good morning, beautiful," I say, kissing her cheek. Mmm, she smells good and I realize I haven't had sex with her since Monday. I wonder if she would have sex with me with my brother in the house.

"You made little pancakes?" she says, her eyes lighting up. "Good morning, Sander. How did you sleep?"

"Good morning, Sookie. I slept well, though I was up early. I am still not used to the time change, I suppose. Has Eric not made these for you? Broder, du har blivit en amerikansk (brother, you have become an American)."

I laugh and smack him on the shoulder and Sookie laughs even though she doesn't understand what he said.

"You're too much of an American now?" she asks, surprising me with what she understood of his words.

"We used to make these with Mama every Sunday, remember Eric? With jam and sugar? Too bad we have no cloudberry jam." _Mama_. My heart beats heavy in my chest at the thought of her.

"Oh, cloudberry? That sounds so good! I've never heard of cloudberries!"

Sander looks at me, playfully chastising me with his eyes. "My brother has been awfully remiss in teaching you, my dear. Stick with me, is this right? Stick with me?" Sookie nods, smiling. "Stick with me and I will show you what my brother has not."

I'm sure Sookie knows why I have been reluctant to share my homeland with her. I have not been eager to cook Swedish foods that hold memories in their taste or preparation. Her smile is tentative while Sander's is bright. He doesn't understand my feelings like she does.

"I shall have to do better so you don't steal her away from me," I say, winking at Sander, trying to lighten my mood. Something flashes in his eyes and I realize I am an idiot for saying that. Wasn't it just a few days ago that I was irrationally afraid of the very same thing? Ugh, stupid!

Sander goes quiet and the kitchen is awkwardly silent for a moment until he rushes up to me and throws his arms around me, whispering apologies in Swedish. I am taken aback by his sentiment and thrown off balance literally and figuratively by his strong embrace. When he lets me go, he is crying and my heart dives into my stomach at the realization. I am such a fucking asshole for making him so upset.

"Snälla, Sander, jag är ledsen,(Please, Sander, I am sorry)," I whisper. He waves my apology away and wipes his face, telling me he will be right back.

Sookie comes to slip her arms around my waist and lay her head on my chest.

"I'm such an idiot," I murmur, "I made him cry."

Sookie kisses my chest and then looks up at me. "You are not an idiot and it's okay if he cries. Both of you have a lot of healing to do together. He's not upset with you."

"I know, but he should be. I don't want to make him feel guilty for things that happened when he was on drugs. It wasn't his fault."

"I don't know, Eric," she says softly, "I think he needs to own what he did to hurt you, I think he wants to."

"No! It was not his fault!" I say. I know I'm getting agitated and need to calm down. "I don't want to make my brother feel guilty and upset. I want us to be happy. When do we just get to be happy?"

Sookie sighs and squeezes me tighter. "Sometimes it takes a while to get through the pain, Eric. Healing isn't always easy, baby. But if you want to be happy, you have to put in the work."

"Yeah," I say, kissing her forehead and burying my face in her neck, "I don't know if I can."

Sander comes back in, and he looks happy. He is holding a jar, which he puts into my hands. "From Mama," he says. I look down at the lingonberry jam in the same type of jar she has always used and feel my heart beating a little faster. I breathe a little deeper to calm myself.

We sit down all together for breakfast. It feels nice to have Sander at my table with my baby and my Sookie. It feels right. The table is set with the pancakes, jam, powdered sugar and whipped cream, some fruit and coffee.

I load my plate up with pancakes, spoon jam on them, and then sprinkle powdered sugar over everything. Just like I always used to eat them, and it smells just the same. At the first familiar taste, memories burst forth from long closed off areas of my mind. My mother's apron, dusted with flour. Her soft hands wiping jam off my cheek as I look up at her. Her bright smiling eyes, so kind and full of love. Her voice, like honey, pours over me, enveloping my body until I can no longer breathe freely. I stand abruptly, inadvertently knocking my chair over. "I need to use the restroom," I choke out but I'm sure both of them know that's a lie.

Sookie starts to get up to follow me but I give her a look that says I need to be alone. I stride up my stairs, trying desperately to hold myself together until I reach my room. As soon as the door closes, I am on my knees with my forehead pressed to the floor and my hands covering my head, weeping. I am unprepared for the force of my grief and I can't catch my breath as sobs wrack my body. I choke on my heartache as despair claws its way out of my mouth, bringing with it sounds I have never heard myself make.

After what seems like hours, my tears stop flowing and the tightness in my throat relaxes and lets me get a full breath. I roll onto my back and notice Sookie standing with her back against my door, tears streaming down her pallid cheeks. My heart stutters at the sight of her. I sit myself up against my bed and open my arms to her and she immediately comes to kneel in front of me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, wiping her lovely face with shaking hands.

She makes a small tight sound. "You are always sorry when nothing is your fault."

"I'm sorry for making you cry."

"Eric, we are together, we are one heart in two bodies, one soul split apart but bound together in love. When you hurt, I hurt. But I wouldn't want it any other way. I love you, silly man. You have nothing to be sorry for."

The passion in her words, warms the ache in my chest that has been growing since Sander stepped off of that airplane. His face makes me so wretchedly mindful of everything I am missing in my life and all of the fucked up things we have gone through together.

"I love you," I whisper, my tears threatening to reappear. My voice shakes with my effort to keep them in.

"Let them go," she says, stroking a hand over my hair and down my cheek, and as if my body obeys only her, my tears well up again and spill down my face. "That's it," she whispers, "It's okay."

She cradles my body as I weep into her neck, rocking me like a small child and caressing my hair. She brings her face down to mine, her lips at my ear, murmuring soft familiar words to me. There is a vice around my heart that slowly opens, easing my tormenting anguish with each new tear that falls down my cheeks. Sookie's touch grounds me to this place so that I am no longer tortured with painful memories for this merciful moment. Instead I cry for the relief I feel in her arms, for the way her love washes over me, soothing away my sorrow and leaving me with hope. Hope that my heart will eventually heal and that my life will be full of more happiness than heartbreak.

As soon as my tears stop, Sookie stands up and I hold my hands out for her, crestfallen at the loss of her warm body. But she just smiles at me and reaches under her dress to remove her panties. My chest heaves as I watch her straddle my thighs and put her hands on the waistband of my pants. My body is already responding to hers and she exhales slowly as she reaches into my pants to pull out my thickening cock.

"I need you," she whispers, stroking me slowly but firmly. I tip her chin up and bring my lips to hers. Her mouth is salty from her tears and I imagine mine is the same. Our kiss is slow and tender and lasts until I am fully hard. Then Sookie raises her hips and lowers herself onto me as I breathe against her neck. We make love gently, rocking our bodies, letting the fire build slowly. Sookie's arms are around my neck, her breasts pressed tightly to my chest, her mouth locked onto mine. We moan together, our breath mingling, as our bodies move as one. When we climax, the flames consume us both, the heat from her body igniting mine. Sookie's hips roll against my groin, the glow of her eyes pulling my orgasm from me as my breath shudders against her open mouth.

"I love you," I tell her once I can form cohesive words.

"I love you," she echoes softly. "Always."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, I had planned for Sander's visit to be quite a bit happier...but I think it makes sense that as happy as Eric is to see Sander, his presence also brings with it memories and hurt that Eric has not yet worked through. Sander is a bit oblivious that some of the memories he provokes could be painful for Eric and I imagine that Eric has held himself carefully together all week trying desperately to keep things happy between them. But at some point, it gets to be too much. Sensory input can trigger some of the strongest memories, and for Eric, the taste and smell of the pancakes and jam, and the thoughts of his mother that they evoked, proved to be too much for him and pushed him over the edge. But, I do intend for Sander's visit to ultimately be a happy one. It just may take a rocky start. **

**I appreciate all the reviews and alerts I get on this story. It continues to be my favorite so rest assured, I have plans to finish it! Even if it has been taking longer between updates. **

**As always, please check out my wordpress site for pictures that go along with this story and for my story Getting It On, which does not post here. I have posted up to chapter 15, which is very racy! :) Please go check it out, thanks!**


	47. Chapter 47

**ERIC**

"The knee-highs, Sookie," I say, pulling on a pair of jeans. I took a quick shower, mostly to wash my face and just to fully wash away my tears. I hate crying. I hate how it makes my eyes feel for the rest of the day—like I haven't slept in a week. I hate how thirsty it makes me and how tired. I just hate it.

"You don't like them?" she says, sitting on the edge of my bed and pulling them up on her legs. Fuck.

"That is _not_ the problem. I like them possibly too much. Certainly too much to keep my hands off them for the rest of the day."

"Oh," she says, scooting back from me as I reach for her knee. "Well, you can touch my ankles, that's not a problem."

"Mmm," I say, holding onto those ankles and pulling her a tiny bit. "It's not just your ankles that I want to touch."

She giggles and kicks her legs slightly, causing her dress to ride up a small amount. "Well, I'm sure touching my calves is no problem either." Her smile is sweet, but I can see the devil in her eyes.

I put my hands on her calves and rub from her ankles to just below her knees. "Yes. This is good. But this is not it either."

Sookie leans up and I lean toward her to meet her in a kiss. "Well, Mr. Northman," she says against my lips, "whatever do you mean?" She leans back on her elbows and smiles at me.

I put my hands on her knees, letting my fingertips skim her thighs under her dress.

"Mr. Northman," she says, a bit breathlessly. "My socks stopped under my knees. I thought it was my socks you liked."

"Ah, I am afraid it is not your socks so much as your lovely legs. The socks just make them look so inviting, I just have to touch them."

As I move my fingers slowly under her dress, tickling the insides of her thighs, she laughs and pulls her legs up, hugging them to her chest. This leaves me with a very nice view of her panties. They are so pale pink they almost match her skin, making her look naked. My cock twitches; I am half-erect from touching her soft skin. As I lean forward, intent on skimming my fingers down the backs of her thighs to her ass, she winks and then hops off the bed.

She laughs when I pout at her and walks out of my room, leaving me alone to calm down so I can go back downstairs. To face my brother. As I walk down, I am determined to make the rest of the day a happy one. We have plans to take Anni to the Aquarium and then walk along the Boston Freedom Trail which winds its way through the sidewalks of downtown Boston past some historic sites.

When I do get downstairs, Sander is not there. Sookie is sitting with Annika in the living room.

"Where's Sander?"

"Getting dressed. He watched Anni when…while we were upstairs, so he went to get dressed."

Oh. Yeah, while I had a fucking break down, he watched my child. My little brother. My life is a fucking mess. "Okay, give her to me, I'll go get her dressed." At least I can do that.

I take Anni upstairs and dress her quickly in a little dress and her boots. Sookie has boots so they can match. The weather today is sunny and warm, especially for early April. A good day for a walk around the city.

"Hej, Eric," says Sander, coming up behind me as I grab a sweater for Anni and stuff it in her bag. When do I get to stop carrying around half her room whenever I leave the house?

"Hi." I feel incredibly awkward for some reason. There has been entirely too much crying in my house as of late. Sander puts his arm around my shoulders and I brace myself for some unwanted fucking sympathy.

"Well, I didn't think my pancakes were _that_ bad, Eric," he says in Swedish, tapping my cheek with the hand around me. I elbow him in the ribs and we both crack up. By the time we stop laughing, I am again wiping my face, but this time for a very different reason.

"Din jävel(You fucker)," I say, pushing his head on my way out the door with Annika.

~~—~~—~~

"So, we have to walk along a red line on the ground?" Sander asks as we exit the taxi we took to the Aquarium.

"Yes, red paint or brick, but first we get to see the fishies, right Annika?" I make a fish face at Anni and she laughs. I look up at Sander, smiling, and he's giving me a weird look. "What?" I ask.

"Nothing. You just…I never thought I'd see the day when my big brother makes a face like a fish and ignores the three women who walk by looking at his ass."

"What women?"

"Exactly," he says, patting my shoulder.

"Come on, you two," says Sookie, taking Annika from me and walking ahead to the window so we can pay.

Annika enjoys the aquarium. Heck, I enjoy the aquarium. It's peaceful to look into the giant tank of fish. My favorite is the huge turtle that swims around really slowly. Annika seems to like the penguins, which are not my favorite. Okay, I pretty much hate those noisy shit machines. I tried to walk quickly past them but she just kept pointing so we have now been standing here for way too long.

"Go walk around, baby, I'll stay here with her," says Sookie.

"Yeah, _baby_, let's go walk around," teases Sander. I knew sooner or later he was going to pick up on the pet name she always calls me.

"Fine, _Sandy_." He hits me in the back of the head, paying me back for before, and we go off, laughing together.

As we walk from tank to tank, looking at all the fish and sea life, Sander and I converse in Swedish. I notice quite a few people looking at us because it's not a very common language to hear around here.

"Where are you guys from?" asks a pretty red head with a couple of friends.

"Sweden," answers Sander. He was never a big flirt when he was sober so I am surprised to see him turning on the Northman charm. He, of course, gets it from me.

"Both of you?" asks another of the girls.

"I am, but I've been here for ten years. My brother is just visiting."

"Oh, you're brothers?" I can see the spark in her eye at this information. Unfortunately for her, she will not be escorting us wherever she is fantasizing right now.

"We are," says Sander, smiling brightly at her.

Red sidles up to me and stands way too close and warning bells go off in my head. _Back up, back up_, they sound.

"If you need any help showing your brother around, we'd love to help. Do you have plans for tonight?"

Sander looks to me as if we are really going to be accompanying these women anywhere. Well, I guess he could, but I never really thought of him meeting anybody when he was here.

"Um, no?" I say, unsure of what he wants me to say. I don't want to cock block my own brother.

"Oh, really?" says a very familiar voice behind me. Fuck! Turning around, I look at Sookie's face and she is not amused. Red backs up as Sookie thrusts Annika into my hands. "I'm pretty sure he'll be taking care of _his baby_ tonight. It's possible he'll need some company, though, since he might be alone all evening." Shit!

"Sookie," I say, but she turns around and walks away, leaving me staring after her, dumbfounded.

"Looks like you might need some company after all," says one of the girls.

I narrow my eyes and she widens hers.

"Sander, I have to go after her. Take Anni?" I don't really give him a chance to answer, instead handing him the baby and taking off to find my pissed off girlfriend. I can't say that I am a fan of her running away whenever she gets mad at me. I hate chasing after her, wondering what I'm going to find when I get to her.

The aquarium is crowded so it takes me forever to find her and I have gone through a bunch of emotions by the time I see her at the very top of the giant tank that spans four stories of the building. When I see her sitting there, playing on her phone, while I have spent the last fifteen minutes searching for her, the emotion that sticks with me is anger.

"What the fuck, Sookie?" I say, trying to keep my voice down. She's sitting on a bench away from the open top of the tank and since there is a demo going on, almost everyone up here is crowding around the tank. That leaves us with as much privacy as we will get in a place like this.

She looks up at me and rolls her eyes like a teenager and for the first time, I think about our age difference and how much younger she is than I am. She's only four years out from being a teenager. Most of the time she is so mature that I forget I am almost ten years older than her.

When she doesn't say anything, I do. "You can't fucking do that to me!"

"Do what?" she snaps. Seriously?

I sit down next to her and she actually scoots away from me. My heart throbs painfully and my stomach drops but what I muster is anger. I'm all out of heartbreak after this morning.

"Stop running away when you get mad at me! I spent fifteen minutes looking everywhere for you. My baby and my brother are god knows where. Hopefully she is okay with him but I don't even know because I had to chase after _your _fucking ass."

"You didn't have to chase after me!" Is she kidding with this attitude?

"What? How can you say something like that to me? You're trying to get away from me? You don't want to be with me? Two hearts, one body…fucking bullshit," I mutter, getting ready to stand up and walk away.

She grabs my hand before I can get up. "One heart, two bodies," she says softly.

"Whatever," I mumble, pulling my hand back. "Apparently not."

"I'm sorry for walking away, Eric. What were you doing though? Those girls were coming onto you."

"And Sander. I didn't want to cock block him. I wasn't going anywhere without you, Sookie. I don't know why you don't trust me. I've never done anything to make you think I would cheat, have I?"

She sighs and her shoulders slump. My insides clench at her defeated posture but I don't offer her comfort. I know it's shitty of me but she ran from me and that was shitty of her. "I know, Eric. I know you haven't. It's just…after Bill—"

"How can you fucking compare me to that piece of shit!" Some woman glares at me for cursing around her child and I give her an apologetic smile. The thought that Sookie can even compare me, compare us, with that shitbag and what happened with him—it's like a knife straight through my heart.

"I'm not! I just promised myself I wouldn't let anything go after I went through everything with him. There were so many signs that he was unfaithful and I let them all go."

"Sookie! There are no signs with me! There can't be. I would never do that!" What the fuck! How could she think that about me?

"I know, Eric. I'm sorry. I guess I'm not over it as much as I thought. You know? I thought I was and then when I saw you there, talking to those girls, it all just hit me again. I'm really sorry."

"You have to stop walking away from me. I can't take it, Sookie! Just talk to me when you're upset. We can work it out, whatever it is."

"Yeah, is this your motto? Because let me tell you, you're crap at it. You never talk to me when you're upset."

I take a deep breath because she's right, even if I don't want to hear it. Still, it physically pains me to hear her so angry at me.

"I'm sorry, Eric. That was mean. I know you have issues."

"I don't have issues. I'm not some mental health patient."

"Seriously, Eric? Everyone has issues. I don't want to get into this right now but you told me to wear more clothes around your brother because of one issue. I didn't freak out even though I was upset. I got mad today and my first instinct was to get away. I will work on it…but you know, you don't need to get so mad at me. I was nice to you when you were an ass to me last Monday. You didn't think I wanted to curse you out or yell at you? I wanted to but I didn't because I know you don't normally act that way. I think I deserve the same courtesy."

"I didn't yell at you."

"You came up here all angry and telling me you looked for me for fifteen minutes. You were all, 'fuck' this and 'fucking' that. You were about to get up and leave. I think that's overboard."

"I was pissed off. You're the one who ran away from me. You know how it makes me feel when you do that."

"Yeah, and you don't think I was pissed off when you told me to leave you the fuck alone when you were acting all freaked out? But I understood what was going on and I cut you some slack. You know about my past relationship; you can cut me some slack too. You made me feel like a whore in my–in your house because of your jealousy issue with your brother. And you just want to ignore it in hopes that it will, what—go away?"

I try to take another deep breath but my lungs won't cooperate, leaving my heart hammering in my chest. Did I do that to her? "Fuck, Sookie. I didn't mean to make you feel like a whore. I'm sorry! You're right. I'm so sorry," I whisper. "Can I hug you?" I need to feel her close to me so maybe my body will calm down and will start working properly.

She leans in to me and I wrap her in my arms and kiss her head. "I'm sorry for running off. I'm going to try not to do that anymore."

"I'm sorry for freaking out last Monday and cursing at you today. I'm sorry for being so mad at you. I wouldn't have left you here, of course not."

"It's okay...There's Sander," she says, sitting up. Shit, we're going to have to talk about this some other time. I try to plaster a look on my face that is the opposite of how I really feel. Happy and not hurt, serene and not unsettled.

"Sookie, it was my fault," he says, letting Annika go as we reach for each other. "Eric was not attempting to have a date with one of those women. He was trying to be a good brother and I did not mean to make you mad at him. If you are mad at someone, let it be me."

I kiss Anni's face and smile at her to make sure she is happy, and not upset with me. When she smiles back and lays her head against my chest, I know she missed me but she's okay. My body relaxes a bit. I've never dumped her off like that and I feel incredibly guilty over it, but I guess she still likes me.

"Sander, I'm not mad. It's okay. I should have let Eric explain."

"Good," he says, "because I got the blonde one's number. She would like to take me out in the town and show me what Boston has to offer." He grins at me, proud of himself for picking up a girl within his first week of visiting. I have to say, I'm pretty proud of the little fucker.

"She's going to offer you her body," I whisper, jokingly. I can always seem to find a joke when it's the last fucking thing on my mind. "Do you need condoms?" Because, really, she probably is.

"I will be fine, big brother," he smirks. "I don't know if I will call."

"Why not?" says Sookie, surprising me. I would think she would be against it. "You need to have a little fun. God knows this big lug is too boring nowadays to show you Boston properly. Let a pretty girl do it." I give Sookie a playful glare at her insult and she grins at me. I'm glad she's not mad at me. I'm a huge asshole and she should be.

"Yes, I just do not know if it's wise. I no longer drink much and I haven't been with anybody since I've been clean."

Sookie blushes like she always does when someone talks about sex. "Well, it's about time, don't you think. How do you know it even works anymore?" I tease. I really should not tease him. I know what it's like to be sexless for a year. It fucking sucks.

Sander punches me in the shoulder and says in Swedish, "I didn't say that I have not made sure it works in the past year. I just have not had anyone's else's hands on my dick." We laugh and Sookie mumbles something about Swedish and not wanting to know.

"Let's do the rest of the museum and get going. I'm ready for some Italian pastries," says Sookie.

She takes my hand and leans against me. "You okay?" she asks in a low voice. I plaster on a smile and nod.

"Yeah, of course." I squeeze her hand and she smiles back but I can tell she is just about as okay as I am—not very. We have a day to get through, though, so we will both be okay for now.

We head outside after thirty minutes or so and start walking to the North End, which is the Italian part of Boston. We will start the Freedom Trail with the Old North Church, where the lanterns hung to signal Paul Revere's ride. But first—pastries.

"Eric, there is no way we will eat all those," says Sookie as we exit Modern Pastry with a big box stuffed with eclairs, cannoli, napoleans, and a bunch of other deliciousness.

"Um, have you met us? Two Northmans? We could eat this all right now."

Sander nods. "Very True."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot who I was dealing with…well, we'd better get walking. Lots to see."

* * *

><p>SOOKIE<p>

Watching Eric fall apart on his bedroom floor this morning was something that I never want to see again. I know he didn't want me to follow him but I just wanted to make sure he was okay. Halfway up the stairs I heard desperate sobs coming from his room and I couldn't stay away from him. Walking in, I saw him with his face in the floor, curled up into a ball, his body shaking with the force of his sobs. It was the single worst thing I have ever seen. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my body, watching his heart break like that. I felt frozen against the wall, unable to go to him and offer him something—what, I didn't know. I just needed to do _something_ to get him to stop making such wretched noises, to stop his shoulders quaking, stop his deep sadness.

As hard as it was, I knew he needed to work through it and cry until he was done. It didn't make it any easier to see, but I knew it was for the best. He has so much healing to do and so much more crying to do even though I know he hates it.

"Sookie?" I hear, as a shadow blocks out the sunlight I have been enjoying for the past few minutes.

"Huh?" I open my eyes to see Eric's smiling face looking down on me where I lie in the grass in the Boston Common. This park was our last stop on the Freedom Trail and we had a nice picnic lunch here before I nearly drifted off under the sun. Instead of sleeping, though, I couldn't stop thinking about the day so far. Talk about emotionally charged.

"I was asking if you were ready to go. Annika is tired but she's not going to sleep unless we start moving or get her home to bed. Since it seems like you're tired too, maybe we could take a nap together? I could rub your feet…if you want." Eric has been almost sickeningly sweet to me since our argument at the aquarium. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It's nice to be treated well but I don't want him to feel guilty or worse, feel like if he doesn't grovel, I will leave him or something.

I smile at him and beckon him closer with my index finger. When he puts his face close to mine, I kiss his cheek and whisper, "I love you, stop groveling," in his ear. He smiles as he pulls back and he actually blows out a big breath as if he wasn't sure I still loved him. It makes me realize that I can't fight like this with Eric. I can't walk away from him when all he wants to do is talk to me, explain himself, and make things better. He takes on blame like some men take on ego. Not to say that he isn't sometimes cocky— he is and rightfully so. But he is much more likely to shoulder the entire responsibility of us, all on his own. He wants to be perfect and when he's not, because nobody is, he freaks out. And him freaking out looks one of two ways—he either gets angry, or he gets desperate. Right now, he is desperate and I actually prefer the anger from him, because the desperation makes me feel like the worst person in the world for doing this to such a sweet, broken man.

He did nothing wrong and I ran from him like he was the devil. I ran in a crowded building, leaving him to wander around searching for me, and all the while getting more and more freaked out. I know him, his mind goes to scary places when things are strained between us. I know all this, and still I left him there, looking at my back as I did my same disappearing act that had earned me his confused ire just last weekend at the airport. There is nothing worse than running from a man who just wants to be loved, just wants to love you and tell you he is sorry, even if he did nothing wrong.

This is my Eric, my Eric who just wants to be with me, just wants to make me happy, just wants so desperately to be happy. And I showed him that I don't even trust him to be faithful to me. And I yelled at him, mocking his inability to be open when things are hard…after I ran away from him. The irony is not lost on me. And after all that, what does he do? He grovels and apologizes over and over. My sweet giant, who was sobbing into my neck this morning. He's had a hard enough day without my overreaction to his harmless conversation.

I stand up and pull him into a tight hug. "We're okay, baby. We'll talk it out later."

He puts his forehead against my shoulder, when I know he wants to nuzzle into my neck. He takes a breath and exhales slowly before standing upright. "Yeah, okay," he murmurs.

When we back up from each other, I look over at Sander and I can tell he's trying not to notice us. It's so awkward being around a fighting couple, the tension is hard to ignore, even if we weren't yelling or angry. I get a sudden flashback to my parents fighting, and me and Jason sitting silently in his bedroom, waiting for them to stop. Memories of my parents are few and far between but I mostly remember good things so this is a surprising memory. Shaking it off, I smile at Sander as we pack up to head home.

Sander's returned smile is full of relief and I realize that he also is desperate for his brother to be happy. I feel like a huge bitch and a really bad girlfriend and host all in one. I would like a do-over for this whole damn day.

Once we get home, we go our separate ways to take a nap. We did a lot of walking this morning. It was fun but I'm exhausted. I want nothing more than to fall asleep wrapped in my Eric's arms, but we have to talk beforehand or neither one of us will be able to sleep.

"Is it okay if I put her here?" Eric asks, laying Anni down on his bed.

"Oh, sure. Family nap, right?" Eric smiles slightly and nods. I know he feels guilty that he left Annika with Sander to go after me. In his mind, he did something wrong by leaving her with his brother to find me. She is not harmed and he was only away from her for twenty minutes but still, he is guilty because he always feels guilty.

I lie down on one side of Annika and Eric lies on her other side facing me. I reach my hand out to touch his face and he closes his eyes, leaning into me. "I hate fighting," he sighs. "I can't stand how it makes me feel. I hate not knowing if I can touch you or if you hate me—"

"I would never hate you, Eric," I say, cutting him off. "Never. Everyone has fights but that doesn't mean we hate each other. I was wrong to walk away from you like I did. I was wrong to be so rude about things that are hard for you. But I never hated you; I will never hate you."

"I don't hate you, even when I'm mad at you."

"I know, and neither do I, honey. I love you. Even when I want to kick your ass." I meant that to be funny but Eric doesn't laugh. "Too soon?" I whisper, which does get me a smile.

"I love you so much, Sookie. It kills me when you're mad at me. I just want to make you happy. I didn't mean to make you feel like a whore. I didn't mean to piss you off last Monday before Sander got here. I'm so sorry. I…When I get upset, I just don't know…I just turn into an asshole."

I really want to give him a big hug but I can't with Anni between us. "You're not an asshole. I understand that you sometimes don't know how to act when you get upset and you let your emotions get the better of you. You are usually so good to me that I can easily forgive you when you get like that. But…now listen to me Eric without getting defensive, okay?" He nods slowly, warily. "I think you could use some help working through your feelings, especially about Sander and your family."

"Sander and I are fine. Our relationship is fine."

"Is that why you told me to wear more clothes around him?" Eric looks sharply at me and starts to get up. I put my hand on him. "Stay…please. Don't pace around. Take a deep breath and stay here. Talk to me."

"I'm fine. I wasn't leaving." He's closing himself off right now instead of opening up and I don't know what to do so he'll relax. I wish it was dark because sometimes he does better in the dark when I can't see his face.

"I thought you were getting up, sorry. Anyway, maybe your relationship with Sander is good now, but what about everything in the past that you went through? Don't you guys want to talk all of that out so you can move on from it?"

"It's fine, Sookie. We've moved on. We're fine."

Everything is fine. "Then why were you sobbing on the floor this morning?" I hate to be so harsh with him, but he needs to understand the depths of his denial. He was weeping uncontrollably this morning. Everything is not fine.

When his face turns red and his brow furrows, I regret my words to him. Maybe I can't do this with him. I know it's not my job to fix him just like Amelia said but what am I supposed to do? I can't let _his_ issues cause issues for us. I can't let this tear us apart, making us fight and causing tension between us.

"Not because of Sander," he says, his voice clipped. He's swinging towards anger and that's the last thing we need.

"Look, Eric. I am just trying to help you. I love you and I want to see you happy just as much as you want to be happy. But I don't know that it's something you can do on your own. It's not something I can do for you. Sander has been in counseling for a year."

"Sander was a junkie!" he grits out.

I take a deep slow breath so that I can stop my rising anger and figure out what to say to him. I just don't know. I'm not equipped for this. As I exhale, I close my eyes to think.

"I wasn't."

"You weren't what?" he asks.

"I wasn't a junkie. Do you think only junkie's go to therapy?"

Eric starts to breath in that erratic way he does when he gets upset. "I didn't say that," he says hoarsely. "You were a child. You were…abused," he whispers. The thought still horrifies him, which it should, but I don't want that to become our topic of conversation.

"Eric, I originally started seeing someone when my parents died. I can't imagine how my life would be different if I didn't go. If I wasn't able to share my grief and learn some healthy coping techniques. I'm sure I'd be a much different person if the counselor hadn't helped me with my uncle before things got worse. So much in my life would have changed for the worse, Eric."

"Yeah, but I'm not you."

"No, you're not. Are you saying you're better than me? You don't need therapy but I did? It's not a weakness to need help, Eric."

"I didn't say it was!" He looks at Annika, who stirs at his loud words, and relaxes his face. "I just can't do it, Sookie. I can't face all that…pain…I'm a coward." He turns around so that he's no longer facing me and I reach out to rub his shoulder.

"You're not a coward."

"Yeah…I am."

"Eric…" I don't know what to say to him.

"I'm tired," he says in a tone of voice that tells me he is done talking about this subject now.

* * *

><p><strong>So, another chapter that is not too happy but he is getting there. Maybe it doesn't seem like it, but the more he is forced to think about his past and made to examine himself and his life, the better he will understand the help that he needs. He's sort of waffling between denial that he needs help and fear that he is too weak to handle getting that help. His father's is still the voice in his head far too often so we'll see what needs to happen to finally get Eric to seek the healing that he needs. <strong>

**Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts. :)**


	48. Chapter 48

**There were some guest reviews last time that I could not answer so I will try to answer here:**

**Someone was worried that they couldn't find their previous review- it's under chapter one for some reason. I don't think he was trying to hurt her when he taught Anni to say Sookie better instead of Mama. He really just doesn't want things to be confusing. I can see that it wasn't very nice, maybe.**

**Another reviewer was saying that Sander seemed disrespectful of Sookie by wanting to go out with those girls and Eric. But I was thinking that he was asking Eric if he had made plans for them and if Sander was free or not. Not that he planned to go with Eric and the girls. Does that make you feel better about him? He likes Sookie a lot. He's very thankful for her presence in Eric's life.**

**Someone else asked if Bill would ever make an appearance. I have plans for Bill, muhaha! ;) **

**I love to answer questions and interact about this story but I can't converse with guests. Maybe you'd like to make a wordpress account and leave notes over there?**

**Thanks so much for reading everyone! :) I'm sorry I didn't get to review replies this time but I have been very busy over on my wordpress account. Please check it out. I wrote a two part vampire short story. I'll put the summary at the end of this chapter.**

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><p><strong>SOOKIE<strong>

The past two weeks with Sander in the house have been great. It's been fun—for the most part. The only thing that would make it better is if Annika were actually sleeping and by result, if Eric were sleeping better. The poor girl seems to be getting all her teeth at once. Her front teeth and first molars are all coming at the same time and her mouth is so swollen she doesn't want to eat. This leads to her being up at all hours of the night, either wanting a cup of milk or a snuggle.

She now pretty much always occupies the space between Eric and I in bed at night, because she won't sleep unless her little head is in the crook of his arm and her legs are tucked right up against his chest. It is the most precious thing I have ever seen but it does make for some very frustrating nights. Eric needs sex, and more importantly sleep, to help him calm down when he is frazzled. And frazzled is exactly what he has been since Sander started staying with him. I don't mean that he is not happy about the visit, because he is immensely excited to have his brother under his roof. But there is this air of tension that permeates the house now, as the brothers try to maintain happy conversations, never delving into anything that would be at all uncomfortable for either of them.

I think neither wants to make the other cry, but for very different reasons. Eric just hates crying of any kind, especially if he's doing it. It makes him feel agitated and if he thinks he's the cause, he feels incredibly guilty. Sander saw how upset Eric was and I'm sure he heard him sobbing and I don't think he wants to cause such grief to his brother who already carries so much pain.

I can understand, I can, but I can't help the feeling that once all the tension comes to a head, there is going to be a major drama that unfolds as they snap and shed their calm personas in favor of the truth of their past and their future. I can't decide if I want to be around for that or if I want to be across the world when the drama unfolds. So, all of these things together—the lack of sleep, the lack of sex, the tension with Sander—they are like a time bomb waiting to go off, and I have to admit that I am terrified of the messy result of it.

I smile as I feel Eric come up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. I close my class binder and tip my head back to look up at him. When he bends down to kiss me, I spin my chair so that we are facing each other. He drops to his knees and I scoot to the edge of my seat so our lips can meet. He winds his long arms around me as we kiss, bringing his hands up my back to play in my hair.

"Is she asleep?" I whisper, pulling back just a bit.

"For now," he sighs. Her sleepless nights are taking their toll on him. He hates when she is unhappy.

"Do you want to…?" I ask, gesturing to the bed, where his baby is not- for now.

"How about here?" he says, patting my desk. "Sander fell asleep on the couch, so you can make some noise." He grins at me and does that eyebrow waggle thing that we both know is slightly ridiculous.

He knows I can't stay quiet when he fucks me from behind. I smile and he reaches for my hand to help me stand up with him. When we are standing, he spins me around so that my back is to his chest. He's already hard; I can feel him at my back. His flimsy track pants do not hide a thing.

He spends a while sliding his warm hands all over my front, squeezing my breasts, strumming my nipples, tracing my hips. All the while, his lips are on my neck, and he makes me moan when his tongue flicks out to lick my skin. He unbuttons my shirt and lets it hang open. Then he starts to unbutton my jeans. He squats down as he pulls them with him and kisses my lower back as I step out of them. He reaches back up for my panties and smoothes his hands up my legs once they're off. His hands make me tingle even though he hasn't touched where I feel it.

When I feel his body against mine again, it's without clothes. His erection lies against my lower back and he hisses as I push back into it.

"Bend over," his rasps, his hand skimming around to the front of me and dropping between my legs. I was going to play with him a bit but his insistent fingers make known my need for him. It's been a while since we've been naked together, even longer since his naked body has been entirely pressed to mine.

I drop to the desk, hissing at the coldness on my already overheated skin.

"Mmm," his chest rumbles, "I'm glad we moved this in here. That's a fucking beautiful sight."

His fingers circle my clit, making me wet and ready for him. But he keeps going, even when I know I'm wet enough. "Please, Eric, I need your cock."

"Not yet," he grunts. "I never get to touch you like this." He continues to play with my clit, rocking his erection over my ass, until I cry out in my climax. He licks his fingers and only then do I feel his tip at my entrance. I try to push back onto him but he growls and holds my hips still with one of his ridiculously large hands. "Slowly," he says, "Let me…" he pushes in, "go slowly."

As he pushes all the way in, he starts to pant softly. He must have gotten himself really worked up, sliding along my ass. I know he wants to take me there; maybe he was imagining it.

"Eric," I moan, as he fills me. He feels so good—so hot and thick.

"Say that again," he breathes. I comply and I feel him pulse inside me when I do. "I fucking love you," he growls.

"I love you, too," I say, but the last word is a moan as he fully enters me and grinds his pelvis against me. He pulls my button down shirt off my shoulders and down my arms. The cuffs of the shirt don't let it easily come off my wrists so he uses the shirt to hold my hands at my lower back. He starts to pound into me, grunting each time we slap together.

"Fuck, Sookie. I'm gonna cum. Can you cum first?" he pants. He really worked himself up if he's got no stamina.

"It's okay, Eric. I already came."

"No," he grunts, "please, you cum again." He reaches around to stroke my clit again and when my muscles clench around his length, he lets out a low breathy moan that sends heat coursing through me. I am always amazed at what his noises of pleasure do to me.

"Fuck, Eric," I moan. His fingers speed up along with his hips but they push me too hard into the desk and I lose the heat crawling through my body. "Ow, wait," I say.

His hips still and he pulls out. He pulls me up and turns me to face him. "Did I hurt you?"

"It's just the desk. It's too hard for how hard you're thrusting."

"I'm sorry, why didn't you tell me?"

"I did."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"It was fine before, it just started hurting now."

"Are you sure?" He looks really skeptical and really guilty. He's been so touchy this week. Everything upsets him but he hasn't snapped at me at all. Now that I think about it, I don't know if that's good or bad. I don't want to be yelled at, but I don't want him holding everything in either.

"I'm sure, Eric," I say, pushing him back so that he will sit on his bed. I climb onto his lap and position him so that I can ride him. He lets me without saying anything. "Are you okay?" I ask. He's inside me but he doesn't seem real enthusiastic about it.

"I'm good," he says, hugging me to his chest. He starts to move against me, flexing his hips as I move over him. He puts his face in the crook of my neck and all I can hear is his heavy breathing. He's not kissing me or moving his hands over me, he's not doing much of anything. I try to relax and chase my orgasm but it remains out of reach.

"This isn't working," I say and Eric's head shoots up. Such a look of panic flashes across his features that it knots my stomach instantly. "What?"

"Nothing," he says, calming considerably. He lifts me off of his lap and sits me next to him on his bed. "You're right. It's okay."

"No, Eric. What do you want? I can give you a blow job; I don't want to leave you like this."

"It's okay. I'm going to take a shower."

He walks right into his bathroom without another word and I fall back onto his bed with a sigh. I'm kind of hurt that he doesn't want me to go with him and that he would rather take care of himself in the shower than let me do it. I know he has a lot on his mind and on his heart, but I'm just going to stay home and study if he's going to keep locking me out of both places. Now we can't even have sex properly.

Eric is trying hard to keep a hold on himself but it's obviously not working. He exercises before work everyday, he eats regularly, he tries to get some time to himself to decompress everyday, but I can see that it's not enough. I can see it in the set of his jaw and the stiffness in his shoulders. I can see it in his smile, which is normally warm and his face, which is normally open. His eyes are becoming guarded, his words, too carefully constructed, as he tries to make sure nothing he says to Sander will be misconstrued as blame or anger. But the problem is that there is both blame and anger there, inside Eric and I'm sure inside Sander. They need to talk things out but neither wants to. And now he's keeping me out as well. I feel like a spectator at a show that's climax is going to leave nothing but devastation in its wake. I don't really know what to do. I don't know how to help and I hate this feeling.

* * *

><p><strong>ERIC<strong>

Sookie thinks she is slick, getting Sander and I to spend time alone together. She offered to watch Annika all day today so we could have "brother time" because she wants us to talk. She wants to diffuse the tension that fills my house like a cloud of noxious gas. She means well, she wants me to be happy, and I love her for it. But she is wrong about what I need to be happy. I just need her and my baby. My brother is an excellent bonus—time with him does make me happy but it also makes things difficult. I know that despite what Sookie says, Sander and I are okay. We are happy to be friends again and I know we have gotten over our past. It's behind us and we need to move forward not dwell on hurtful things that happened long ago. Sookie wants me to talk to someone and sometimes I think maybe I should but what am I supposed to say? How am I supposed to tell a stranger about all the shitty things in my past. What am I supposed to talk about? My feelings? Fuck feelings. I've been trying to bury mine since I was seven years old.

"Eric, you drive like an old man," teases Sander in Swedish. I look over at him and he's grinning at me. We are headed to F1 Boston to take a spin around the track. I need to shake off this shitty feeling so I can have fun with my brother today.

"We'll get on the track and then you'll see who drives like an old man!"

"Yeah, you." He smiles and slugs my shoulder.

"Watch it, fucker! I'm going to wipe my ass with you."

"Dickhead!" We grin at each other and then lapse into silence as I drive. We're brothers. We will always love each other. We were there for each other throughout our childhood. I held him tight when our father made him cry, he made me laugh when Mama stopped smiling after the asshole stopped coming home.

"How's Mama?" I ask Sander, when I can't shake her from my thoughts and when my car is too silent.

"Mama…she misses you. She wants to know Annika."

"Huh," I grunt.

"She's sorry, big brother. She…she knows she was wrong not to protect us…to let him treat us like he did. She's sorry for how you changed—for how he changed you. Eric, she wants to make it right."

I chance a look at Sander and see tears in his eyes. Fuck! My hands grip my steering wheel tightly and Sander looks from my hands to my face.

"It's okay, Eric. It's okay for you to be angry at her. I was so fucking angry for so long. But it's no way to be, no way to live. I let it consume me—anger and grief—for way too long. I carried it with me and only the drugs could dull it enough so that I didn't want to just die."

"Sander, I—"

"No, Eric! Hear me out! Listen to me. I have waited so long to tell you this. I know you hate it but I need to tell you!"

By this time, we are in the parking lot of the F1 place so I find a spot and cut the engine. I take a breath and turn my body toward my brother. As much as I don't want to hear this, what kind of a big brother would I be if I didn't give my little brother what he needs? And right now, that's a listening ear.

Sander puts his hand behind my head with his thumb on my cheek for a brief second. "Thank you," he says.

"Yeah," I mutter.

"I lived on the streets in Germany for months. I was so lost to drugs, I didn't know where I was half the time. I wouldn't eat for days on end. I did…horrible things for a fix, Eric…filthy things."

I try not to show my surprise at his last statement. I guess I never thought of what he would resort to to get his drugs. He must not have been able to get a job if he was always drugged up. He must have needed money and…

"It's okay, Sander. You're good now, right?" My voice sounds pathetic, even to me. I am pleading with him to be okay, to stop my mind from delving into how he lived when I abandoned him.

"I'm better, Eric. But I will always be an addict. I shot drugs into my body every single day for years. It was how I lived. It was killing me but keeping me alive at the same time."

"Why are you telling me this?" I ask, my voice shaking as I try to force the bile back down my throat. "Do you hate me? Do you blame me for leaving you in Sweden? I'm so sorry—"

"No, Eric," he says softly, cutting me off. He puts his hand on my shoulder and waits until I look at him. "I just need to tell you. I just need you to know. Because right now? I am so happy. I wake up each and every day smiling, feeling joy like I never thought was possible. I'm free, Eric. Do you understand? I am free in a way that I never was before. And yes, I will be an addict for the rest of my life and yes, I will be wary forever of a relapse, but I won, Eric! I fought and I won! I have never felt better. The fight was hard but I fucking did it!"

We are both crying by the end of his speech. "How the fuck did you get so strong, Sander?" I ask. He wipes his face on his sleeve and smiles at me.

"I had a good fucking teacher, Eric," he whispers, looking into my eyes.

For the second time in as many weeks, I am weeping uncontrollably. In my car, which is awkward as hell. But the pain in my chest goes away when I don't try to hold back my tears. So I let them fall, because I know Sander won't judge me for them. He leans over and lets me cry on his shoulder and he just silently hugs me. I can hear him sniffle every once in a while so I know he is crying along with me. What a pair we are.

After a minute or so of silence, we sit back from each other, both of us smiling somewhat sheepishly. Sander looks a mess and I'm sure I do too. I reach out and tousle his hair even more and he grins and pushes my hand away.

"Well, that was fun," I say. Can things be any more awkward than crying your eyes out with your brother in the middle of a parking lot?

"Yeah, maybe not the best time for that, right?"

"Probably not. Do you still want to do the F1 thing?"

"Fuck, yeah! I'm going to kick your ass, big brother!"

"Oh, we'll see about that!" I fish some tissues out of my glove box and hand a small stack to Sander. We both wipe our faces the best we can and fix our clothes.

Once we are walking up to the building, Sander puts his hand on my forearm. I stop, wondering what he will say to me this time. "Eric, I need to go to a meeting while I'm here. Will you come with me?"

"A meeting?"

"For addicts like me. You know the kind; I'm sure you've seen them on TV. Will you come with me? You don't have to speak."

"Yeah, I can come. Just let me know when so I can have someone watch Anni." I figure if Sander can be so strong, then so can I, right?

~~—~~—~~

After racing around the track, I take him to one of my favorite restaurants— a high end Brazilian steakhouse with all you can eat meat and sides. All-you-can-eat is very good for two giants with huge appetites like my brother and me. In fact, I'm sure they shake their heads when they see me coming whenever I go in. We are seated after a short wait. After a trip to the salad bar where we load up our plates, we sit down at our table.

"Would you like to talk to Mama today? I'm supposed to call her and she asked me last time."

"Oh." Would I? "Can I let you know later?"

"Sure, but I have to call her right when we get back to your place because of the time difference. She…I think you should talk to her…but of course, it's up to you."

The gaucho chef comes around offering rib eye steak, which is my favorite so we both add some to our plates. It gives me a chance to think about what I want to say.

Once the waiter is gone, I ask, "How did you forgive her?" I think that's my biggest problem. I can't figure out how to even start moving past her failures with us. My father's funeral felt like the ultimate betrayal. She said so many nice things about him—so many nice fucking lies. "You weren't there at Pappa's funeral, Sander. I already didn't want to be there…and then she acted like he was such a good person. He gave money to this charity and that. He was so influential, blah blah blah. If that wasn't so bad, then she started talking about us. About how we looked up to him and tried to emulate him—"

"You did!" Sander says with venom in his voice, which shocks me. He's not shown any anger since he's been staying with me.

"I…I did?" What the hell is he talking about?

"You don't remember dressing up in the little fucking suits he used to buy us? Carrying around your school bag like it was a briefcase? You used to bark orders to imaginary underlings and tell me to fetch you your reports…You don't remember that?"

If I concentrate, snippets of that memory seep into my mind. How did I not remember before now? "I…do remember." I say, scrubbing my hands down my face and sighing deeply. "Does it upset you? To remember that?" He seemed really angry.

"I don't know. I still hate him. That's the one thing therapy hasn't done for me and I don't know if it ever will. I still haven't forgiven him. But I forgave Mama, Eric. You asked how. The why is simple but not the how."

"Then the why. Tell me the why."

"Because she asked. I showed up on her doorstep, Eric. I showed up, skinny and dirty and stinking, and she opened her arms and the door to me. She stripped off my clothes and got me into the bath when I could barely stand up. She cleaned me up and then she helped me get clean. And she did it all for me without once telling me I was a disappointment or that she was ashamed of me. Then she asked _me_ to forgive _her_, Eric. I did; I had to. I stayed with her for a couple weeks until it became clear that I needed to be somewhere else so she sent me to Denmark, to a treatment program. Pappa's money paid for it. The only good fucking thing he's ever done for me. Mama bought me new clothes, she fed me—she made all the things I always loved. I gained about ten pounds in the two weeks I was with her, and forty more in the program." He sees me raise my eyebrows at him. "Yeah, I was a skinny asshole," he laughs.

"Yeah, wow. So then you and Mama…you went to therapy together?"

"We still do. She came to Denmark a few times while I was there and talked to the counselors with me. And now we go together sometimes and I go alone sometimes. It's good. It helps."

"Sookie wants me to go…"

"You should, Eric. Sookie loves you so much but do you think she wants to always be the one to pick you up? You need to pick yourself up. For you and Annika and Sookie, but ultimately for yourself."

Another waiter comes around with sausages and another with lamb chops so we each take some and I get another breather so that my feelings don't choke me.

"Talking about everything helped me to let it go, Eric. It's like I had a weight sitting right here," he says, patting his chest, "and the more I talked, the less pressure I felt squeezing me, pushing me down. I think Mama felt the same. She is so much happier now, she laughs easily again. I want that for you, Eric. I can practically see the weight you carry, the burden of the past sitting on your shoulders."

I look down and away from Sander's stare. If I look into those eyes right now, I'm going to lose it. "I…"

"Just think about it, Eric. I have some names that were recommended to me and I would like it if you come with me. Just once and if you hate it, you don't have to go back. It's not a commitment, it's just an appointment."

I am seriously in awe of how smart my little brother is. "Just once," I repeat, "I'll just try it, okay?"

His smile is so big on his face, it makes me smile too. "I love you, brother," he says, with glassy eyes. I know he's trying not to cry in the middle of this restaurant. He's like Sookie—crying freely without shame—and he doesn't need me to stop his tears either. I'm starting to hate crying less and less. I guess it's okay, if you have to do it. It kind of feels better than not doing it, when you feel like it. It makes it easier to breathe to just give in to the tears if your body wants to cry. But sometimes, like in the middle of a crowded restaurant where waiters can appear with sticks of meat at any time, you really don't want to feel like crying. At least they don't speak Swedish.

"I love you, too, Sander. That's why I let you kick my ass today at the track!"

"Oh, fuck you!" he says, grinning. "I won with no help from you! You lost, fucker!"

"Yeah, fuck you. I'm sure you have more practice driving fast. I have to drive slow for Annika."

"Whatever, big brother. Excuses, excuses!"

We spend the rest of the meal chatting about various innocuous things as we eat our fill of the fire grilled meats and Brazilian sides. Things are much less tense between us. Sookie should be happy that we talked. She should be ecstatic that I agreed to see a therapist with Sander. I still don't feel that comfortable with the idea but Sander shared a lot with me today and I'm sure it wasn't that easy. I can do this because he wants me to, ultimately it's for myself and my little family anyway.

As we exit the restaurant, we decide to walk a little bit because we ate way too fucking much. The Copley Mall is right around here so we decide to walk through there.

"Shit, this mall is ridiculously fancy. Is this where you normally shop?"

I stop listening to Sander when my heart starts pounding in my ears as I look ahead of us. I suddenly feel like I'm going to throw up as I stare at the achingly familiar face in front of me. Of course she shops at this upscale mall. She doesn't notice me and I'd like to keep it that way. She is the last person I want to see, let alone talk with. But I can't seem to move.

I notice Sander when he steps into my line of sight. He waves a hand in front of my face. "Eric? What's wrong? You look—"

"Sophie," I whisper as she turns and looks right at me. Her eyes widen before she schools her features to look bored as usual. "Please don't let her come over here," I mumble under my breath, pleading with the God who has always ignored me in the past.

* * *

><p><strong>So...Sophie! You had to know she'd show up at some point, right? :)<strong>

**My new story over on wordpress is called Unexpected. Here is the summary:**

**Based on the True Blood Season 7 back story for Eric and Pam. What if Sookie Stackhouse met Eric Northman when her friend, Tara, dragged her all the way to Shreveport to check out a new video store with an awesome selection of horror movies? If Sookie liked being in that video store, might she go back? Maybe a whole bunch of times? And might she choose one night to go for the specific purpose of seeking out the tall, blonde sex god in the basement? rated MA**

**Please check it out...but leave a review here first! :) **


	49. Chapter 49

**ERIC**

Of course, she comes walking over to me. With her tiny fucking steps that she thinks makes her look demure, and her way too red lipstick. Isn't that a fucking contradiction? She tosses her hair over her shoulder—it's bleached blonde now. She always did tell me she liked the color of my hair. Too bad her dye job fell quite short. My hands clench into fists when I see the fake smile she plasters on her face.

I'm trying not to let anything I'm feeling show on my face. My heart is pounding in my chest and my palms are sweating. The only thing I can think is that she's going to want to see Annika. But Anni isn't hers anymore. She's mine and if she's anybody else's, she's Sookie's.

"Eric, sweetheart," she purrs and I want to either slap her or throw up. "It's been too long. How have you been?" she asks.

As soon as I open my mouth, she continues to speak. She doesn't want to know how I am. It's just something to say for her.

"I have been so incredibly busy. My life is a whirlwind," she says with an awful fake laugh. I push my short fingernails into my palms to stop from cursing her out in the middle of the mall. When she finally shuts her damn mouth, she looks up at me with a little smile. I know this fucking smile. "You look great," she says, brushing her fingertips down my stomach.

I recoil, leaving her standing awkwardly with her hand out. Sander puts his hand on my shoulder and Sophie fixes her gaze on him. I want to scream at her and shake her and ask her if she ever even thinks about the daughter she abandoned. But I'm scared to bring up Annika in case she asks to see her. We have no custody agreement and I know she could take me to court if she ever wanted to come back into Annika's life. She wouldn't stand a chance in hell of taking her from me but if she had a good enough lawyer, she could get visitation. And there will never come the day that I hand my precious baby over to this phony fucking bitch.

Sander keeps his hand on my shoulder as Sophie takes a step closer to him. I'm not sure who needs the support more out of the two of us. The look on his face is even scaring me. He was horrified when I told him what Sophie did to me. He said that even as drugged up riffraff, he would never have stooped so low. So, I have no idea what he's thinking but the look on his face tells me that he is possibly contemplating murder.

"And who might you be?" says Sophie in the voice I guess I must have found seductive at one point in time. I did fuck her plenty and by the end there, I was practically begging her for it. That thought makes my lip curl. I can't believe I was ever fooled by this woman.

"I would be Eric's brother," he says between clenched teeth. If she notices his angry voice and stance, she doesn't show it. Fucking clueless.

"Oh, Sander," she says, and I have to seriously wonder how she remembers his name. I barely mentioned him when we got together because the thought of him caused me only pain. But then again, she did make it her mission to know all about me when she went after me. She probably had a creepy file on my whole family. "It's so nice to finally meet you. You are handsome just like your brother," she purrs.

My mouth opens. Is she really fucking flirting with my brother? His eyes narrow and he goes off on her, calling her so many fucking names and telling her what a worthless person she is and how much she is missing out on. She just stands looking at him wordlessly—because he's speaking Swedish.

I can't help but grin because of all the shit he's saying and the ridiculously confused look on her face. She keeps smiling tentatively, not quite sure if his passionate words are good or bad.

"Du är en riktig jävla fitta! (You are a real fucking cunt/bitch!)," he finishes with and my first instinct is to burst out laughing. She has no idea what Sander said to her. His chest is heaving when he's done talking. Truthfully, I don't think I've ever seen him this angry and the fact that his anger is over something that happened to me, just cements my decision to get some help to deal with my own issues.

I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze. "Tack, broder (thanks, brother)," I say. I'm hoping he'll calm down a little because I think if he gets really upset, he's going to want something to soothe him like drugs would have. I don't know what to do in that case.

"Well," says Sophie, fluffing the ends of her over-processed hair, "that was certainly interesting."

She leans into Sander again, and he clenches his jaw and takes a deep breath, letting it out loudly—kind of like a bull. I think she's definitely provoking him like a bull in a ring and before he charges her, I need to get him away. It's funny—I always thought it'd be me who wouldn't be able to control my anger around her. But I feel like I have more to consider than just myself and my anger about how she screwed me over. I need to get my brother out of here before he does something to get himself arrested and I need to stay calm for the sake of my daughter.

"So Sander and I have to go," I say. "My daughter is waiting for me." I start to walk away and she takes steps to follow. I stop, and turn to look her directly in the eye. My anger is about to boil over so I need to take care of this quickly. "Don't fucking come near me again. If you see me somewhere, you will pretend you don't, are we clear?"

Her eyes widen and she stops abruptly, staring at me. "What about my daughter?" she says. Ah, finally she wants to acknowledge that she had a baby with me.

"You don't have a daughter," I say. The look on her face—shock, hurt, a small amount of anger—is immensely satisfying to me. I turn around and walk away with Sander next to me. I hope to every single deity that may or may not exist that I never fucking see her again. It's possible that she'll get a bee in her bonnet about seeing Annika but I hope her selfishness will keep her from pursuing that. Fuck, I don't even know if she lives here again or if she's just visiting.

"What a bitch," says Sander as we exit the mall and walk to the car. He seems to have calmed down.

"You have no idea."

~~—~~—~~

"What? What happened? What did she say? Did you talk to her? Did she ask about Annika?" These rapid-fire questions come tumbling out of Sookie's mouth as soon as I tell her that we ran into Sophie. She's pacing around the living room, reminding me of, well…me.

"Slow down, angel. I don't remember what she said. Something stupid. She tried to flirt with Sander. The whole conversation was less than five minutes."

"Oh my god! Did she ask about Annika?"

"Not until the end when I told her to leave me alone."

"Do you think she will? What if…nevermind. Damn! I can't believe this."

"Sookie, it's okay," I say, walking in front of her to stop her pacing feet. I put my arms around her and she sighs against my chest. "It's the same as it always was, right?"

"Yeah, but now it's so much more real. Now she's here. Does she know where you live?"

"It's possible someone told her. We know a lot of the same people—or we did. I don't even know if she lives here. Maybe she's visiting her parents, or her brother more likely."

"Do you think she'd show up here? To see you…or Anni?" she whispers.

"Heaven help her if she shows up here, Sookie. Someone might have to go get shovels and plastic sheeting."

"I will do that," says Sander. He's on the floor playing with Annika, flying her above his head and making her giggle. He looks over with a serious expression and I have no doubt that he really would help me clean up a murder.

"I'll help you cut her body into little bitty pieces," says Sookie. I look at her face in surprise. She's grinning but there is a hard glint in her eye and I believe _she_ would help me clean up a body also. Good to know. Somewhat terrifying, but good to know.

"Uh, thanks, angel," I say. "That's…nice?"

"The couple that kills together, stays together." She grins and Sander barks out a laugh.

I shake my head at them. I think I'm the least bloodthirsty out of the bunch of us. I can bet Pam will be out for blood as soon as I tell her about this. I'm also sure she will have all the information that I'm currently lacking, within an hour. I'm not used to being the calm one. But it's my job to be level-headed for Annika. She's the one who will suffer if her mom decides she wants something to do with her now. Well, both of us will but I worry more for her.

Sander comes over to me with Annika, who reaches for me. I take her and he leans in close to talk to me in quiet Swedish. He doesn't like to make Sookie feel bad, which I appreciate. "I am going upstairs to call Mama. Have you decided if you will speak to her?"

Shit. I actually forgot all about that since seeing Sophie. "I'm sorry Sander. When will you call her again?"

"I usually call every three or four days but I can call her whenever you would like. Should I tell her you would like to talk to her and we'll call tomorrow?"

"Well, can you just tell her you'll call her again tomorrow and leave me out of it? It's going to stress me out if I know she's waiting to talk to me."

"Sure, brother," he says with a smile. He pats my back before heading upstairs. I was worried about him when he got so angry but he seems to have handled himself well.

"Danda!" Anni screeches and he turns around to wave at her. I can't even explain how happy it makes me that Anni loves her uncle so much. She wriggles to be let down but she makes a beeline for the stairs where he went, so I scoop her back up and head over to Sookie.

"How was she?" I ask. She's been a bit more difficult lately than usual. She doesn't sleep all night anymore because of her teeth. I feel bad that she's in pain so even though I hate dragging myself out of bed at one am, I do it without grumbling so she will feel better.

"Mmm, kind of cranky, she barely ate lunch so I blended up some frozen fruit and yogurt and she sucked it through a straw. She liked that. It made her laugh."

I smile, thinking about my baby enjoying a smoothie that Sookie made for her. Sookie is more to her than her real mom will ever be. Real…Sookie is real in a way that Sophie is not and it pisses me off that Sophie gets the title. And now I'm ashamed that I didn't want Anni to call Sookie Mama. Confusion be damned! If my baby wants to call Sookie Mama, I should have let her.

I walk up to Sookie carrying Annika, and hug her with my free arm. "I have so much to talk to you about, Sookie. Do you want to come upstairs with me and Anni?" She's not going to take another nap today but I don't want to wait until tonight because I think Sookie is going to like what I tell her.

"Sure," she smiles but it's tentative. I think she's still worried about Sophie.

"It's good stuff," I say as I try to reassure her with my smile. I don't know how well it works, but I have no doubt she will be happy when I tell her what Sander and I talked about and the decision I made.

"So, what's up?" she says, trying to sound nonchalant as she sits on the foot of the bed. Whatever I wanted to talk to her about will wait. Something is going on with her.

"What's wrong, angel?" I ask, kneeling in front of her. Anni is playing with a basket of clean clothes, which will most likely have to be refolded if not rewashed. She's busy though and that is a very good thing.

Sookie is reluctant to say anything, let alone look at me. I lift her face with my fingers and smile at her. "Tell me, please."

Instead of talking, she throws her arms around my neck and and starts to cry. My stomach bottoms out, and I internally curse Sophie once again because I'm pretty sure that's what this is about. "Please," I say again, trying to pull her face up. She won't let me. "Talk to me, angel." I am all cried out today; I don't think I have any more even if I wanted to cry with her.

She finally lifts her face and looks at me and my heart takes a nosedive at the forlorn expression on her face. "Do you…" She hiccups and covers her mouth. I fight the smile that wants to form because she is just too cute sometimes. "What if she changed and she wants to be in Annika's life and she wants to be in your life because she realized what a good man you are and she wants to be Annika's mother again. She can't, Eric! She can't take you and Anni away from me!"

Sookie hasn't done her rambling thing in a while but this time she is just so far off base, I don't think it's cute like I usually do. I take her face in both of my hands and wipe her tears with my thumbs. I spend a second just kissing her face, trying to ease her fear. How does she not know that she is everything to me? That I would be utterly and completely lost without her. That she is my sustenance and without her I would waste away to nothing. How does she not understand my love and devotion to her? "Sookie, you are my life, the very blood that pumps through my veins. I would not survive without you. But still, I would rather be alone than spend even a second with Sophie in my life. I love you, Sookie. I know things have been strained. We haven't really connected well in a while, but I assure you that whatever Sophie might want, it means nothing to me. She is on Annika's birth certificate but as far as I'm concerned, you are her mama. We both need you; we both want you in our lives."

As if on cue, Anni walks over to us and wedges herself between us, holding onto Sookie's knees. "Cookie?" she says, watching her tears fall. I move from the floor and sit next to Sookie on the bed, putting my arm around her. Anni's face scrunches up as she takes in the furrow of Sookie's brow and the sadness in her eyes.

"Baby doll," whispers Sookie, picking her up to sit on her knees. She kisses Anni's forehead and smiles but the way she hugs her to her chest, makes me wonder if Sookie really thinks she might lose her.

"Please, don't cry, angel. You believe me, don't you? I need both of you," I say, putting my arms around them.

* * *

><p><strong>SOOKIE<strong>

I don't even know why I'm crying. Eric's face, when he told me about Sophie, held such disgust that I know realistically, he doesn't want her and he never will again. I guess I just feel a little insecure after yesterday's failed sex and the general stress we've been facing as a couple. Sander, the stupid girls at the Aquarium, lack of sleep and sex, and now this. Plus all the stress of school. I guess it's too much.

"I believe you," I tell Eric, but even though it's true what I said, my tears won't stop.

"Sookie, I hear Sander. I'll be right back, okay?" He picks up Annika and goes into the hallway where I hear him speaking rapid Swedish to Sander. When he comes back, he is without her. "He's going to take her for a walk so we can have some privacy." He gives me a little smile, as if trying to gauge whether that's good or not. I appreciate it so I try to smile back.

"Thanks," I whisper. I crawl to the other end of the bed so I can sit against the headboard. Eric looks at me for a second so I pat the spot next to me and he sits down. I immediately lay my head on his chest and take a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" he whispers. He smoothes my hair off my forehead and then just keeps stroking my hair. It feels good and makes my eyes close.

"I don't know what I am, Eric. I think I'm stressed. I know you don't want Sophie. It's irrational for me to worry...but I can't help it," I say, starting to cry again. Ugh, I'm such a mess.

"It's okay," he says, rocking us slightly. He starts to hum but he only hums a few notes before he stops. He instead starts to speak softly in Swedish to me, whispering in his native language. I have no idea what he is saying but it doesn't matter. His tone and expression tells me that he's speaking loving words to me. He keeps this up for several minutes and I'm surprised he has that many lovely things to say to me. His cheek is resting on my head so his breath warms the spot under his lips. By the time I can understand anything he is saying, I have almost fallen asleep against him. I guess I haven't been sleeping well either.

"Angel, I love you. I've been neglecting our relationship and I'm sorry. I hate that you are stressed in part because of me. What can I do?" he says, rearranging us so he can see my face. His face is concerned, worried, and so kind.

"I don't know," I mumble. I scoot up closer to him, straddling his thighs instead of his knees. "Make love to me?" I ask. My voice sounds ridiculously weak and he furrows his brow at me. A split second, it lasts, but I know he doesn't how I sound.

"Sookie," he whispers, cupping my face in his giant hands again. "Can we talk first?" His eyes search mine and he pulls me in to press his lips gently to mine. "You know I want you…but I don't like what I feel from you. You're still sad."

It amazes me how well he does protective. He's pretty broken, I mean, not always I guess, but recently. Yet anything I need, he is willing to give me. He always wants to fix my hurt and take away my sadness. And he's really good at it.

"I don't know why I'm sad. I think it's just stress."

"Tell me what has you feeling so stressed."

When he asks me things like this, when he talks to me about how I feel, he does it because he really cares. He really listens to me because he cares about what I have to say and how he can help me. It makes me ache, he is so sweet to me.

"Everything," I sigh. It is. I just feel like there are so many things that are worrying me it feels overwhelming. "I worry for you and Sander, your relationship and just the tension of his visit, for Anni and her little mouth that hurts, for my classes, my research project that has to be completed in less than two months. I'm about to graduate, Eric! That's scary as hell!"

Eric brushes his hand through my hair, finger combing my curls in a way that makes me shiver and then sigh. He is so good at these tender touches. They seem instinctual for him and they always make me feel better. "I'm here, Sookie. What can I do to help? Want me to run you a bath? I'm going to get you in the bath and then we'll talk."

He kisses my forehead and moves me so he can get up. And then he is across the room and I hear the water start. I lie back on the bed and smile. I bet I could get him in the bath with me and that would make it even better. Lying against his warm chest in the water is the very definition of heaven.

I walk into the bathroom and move behind him where he stands watching the tub fill up. I quickly shed my tunic top and yoga pants and press myself to his back. I slide my hands under his shirt, over his rippled abs and up to his chest, now rumbling with his purr. "Sookie, I—uhhh," he groans as I lightly pinch his nipples. His hips flex, thrusting into the air, as his chest vibrates even more.

I start to slowly unbutton his dark jeans as I stand behind him and push them and his boxers down. He raises his arms to take off his shirt as he steps out of his pants while I shed my bra and underwear. Then he turns quickly and picks me up, holding me and kissing me as he steps into the bathtub. His foot slips and he braces his hand on the wall and laughs. That sound, his laugh, is a balm to my frayed soul—it has been too sparse as of late.

"Oh, I love your laugh," I say and happiness lights his eyes. He puts me down and shuts off the water before sinking down and pulling my hand so I will sit on his lap.

"Can we make love and talk at the same time?" I ask. His eyes hold amusement as they look at mine.

"Hmm, I don't know. We can try. Seems like talking might give way to moaning…or screaming in your case."

"You plan to make me scream, baby?" I whisper into his ear, rocking over the beginnings of his excitement. I can tell he is not expecting it—the seduction—because his hand slips off my back and hits the warm water with a splash.

He smiles. "I plan to make you do a lot of things," he answers.

"I can't wait," I say. His erection is now thick and proud and my hand slips up and down his warm smooth skin quite easily in the water.

"Angel," he whispers, watching what I'm doing to him. His brow furrows and he moans softly when I trace the ridge of his swollen head with my thumb and forefinger. He grips my hip tightly, pulling me against him and trapping his length between us. His hand on my butt moves me up and down over him as the water makes it easy for him to control my movements.

He brings my mouth to his with his other hand behind my neck and kisses me with a passion I haven't felt from him in a while. We are all tongues and lips; it's wet and sloppy, and so fucking hot. He can't get enough and it makes me feel so good. I want to feel his desire like this more often. Like he was at the beginning, having to hold himself back like a teenager.

I break the kiss to back up slightly so I can grasp his erection and sink down onto him. And then he is grabbing me back again, pressing his mouth to mine while his hands roam my body. And he is thrusting and grunting, panting into my open mouth. He sits up, hugging me tightly to his body with an arm around my lower back. I fold my knees around his slim waist and push my heels into his back, taking him deeper.

"I love you so much, Sookie," he says, dipping me back so he can see my face. "I only want you."

"I know, baby. I only want you," I echo.

"Sander and I talked," he pants.

I raise my eyebrows because suddenly I can only moan. His thumb has found my clit since I'm leaning back and he circles it slowly.

"I agreed to go…" he says but then when my body squeezes him, his voice breaks.

"To go…?"

"To a meeting…fuck, I'm…stop moving for a second."

I pull myself up and hold onto his shoulders while we both gain a little control.

"You're going to a meeting with Sander?"

"Yes," he breathes, "and…an appointment," he finally gets out. I guess maybe we can't have sex and a conversation at the same time.

I pull back and look at his face, grinning. "You're going to see a counselor with Sander?" Something inside of me blooms with joy at this. Then the feeling morphs into heat that starts in my belly and shoots down my body and suddenly I am writhing in Eric's arms. I can't stay still like he asked.

"Fuck…fuck!" he grunts as his hips jerk against mine. His release is hot inside of me, warmed more than normal by the bath water.

"Oh my god," I pant, as the sensation lengthens my orgasm in a way that's never happened before.

He crashes his mouth into mine as I continue to writhe and swallows my moans as I claw at his back. In a few seconds I calm down and my hands relax.

"That was…I've never had a…I can usually tell when…" Blah! I can't speak so I close my mouth and just kiss Eric some more. I don't think I've ever had an orgasm sneak up on me like that. Maybe…I don't know…I can't think straight.

"Sookie, you are magnificent!" says Eric, between kisses. He trails his lips down my throat and I notice the angry red scratches on his shoulders.

"Oh, my god, Eric! I scratched you up! I'm so sorry!"

He touches his shoulder gently and smiles at me. "I like it," he says. "That means I did my job right."

"You sure did." We smile at each other as I pet his face. "You're going to the counselor?" I just need confirmation before I allow myself to celebrate.

He kisses my palm. "I am. About time, right?"

"Don't do that, Eric. This is a big step for you and it makes sense that it took you awhile to get here. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Thanks," he says, squeezing my hand. His eyes shine with emotion as I kiss his wet fingers where they are wrapped around mine.

"You're still inside of me," I whisper, as if he wasn't aware.

"I know," he whispers back.

"We should get out and clean up. Sander will be back soon." I start to raise myself off of Eric and we both watch the slightly opaque cloud that forms in the water where we were joined.

I look at him and wrinkle my nose and he laughs.

"Mmm, cum water," he says, grinning like an idiot. He splashes the water onto my chest and I shriek and flail.

"Stop it! You suck!" I dissolve into giggles and Eric just smiles at me, his eyes so loving as he gazes at my face.

"I love you," he whispers and then he turns around to drain the tub and turn on the hand shower so we can rinse off.

"I love you, too."

* * *

><p><strong>AN- I was surprised at the number of you who thought I would ever bring Eric and Sophie back together. NEVER! I hope you are satisfied with Eric's reaction to her. I'm sure there is nothing more Eric would have liked than to shake and scream at Sophie but he can't and I hope you understand why. He is obligated to Annika first of all- before he can fulfill his angry fantasies he has to protect his baby. **


	50. Chapter 50

**SOOKIE**

"What did you say to me? When you were speaking Swedish?" I ask, as we get dressed after the bath.

He smiles and his eyes look dreamy as he sits on the bed in his boxers. "I told you how much I love you and that I want to marry you someday. We'll have tons of babies because I won't be able to leave you alone and we'll live in a great big house with a huge yard. We'll get a dog and I'll bring you flowers at the end of the day because I'll be so happy to see you. And I'll dress up for you and take you dancing just so I can hold you close all night. And then we'll go home and kiss our babies in their beds and make love to each other in the moonlight. And when we wake up, we'll have babies in between us because they couldn't stay away from you either. Because you are the best mama in the world… And most of all, I hope I can make you, for the entire rest of your life, even a fraction of how happy you always make me." He looks up and is startled at the tears falling down my face. He jumps up and comes over to me to wipe them.

"That was so beautiful, Eric. I want all of that too," I say around the lump in my throat. How is he for real?

"Oh, don't cry anymore, Sookie," he whispers, kissing my cheeks. He pulls me to his chest and sways from side to side for a minute. "I love you so much," he says against my hair.

"I love you, too," I whisper.

"I cried with Sander in my car today." He says this like we're discussing the weather.

I try to pull back so I can see his face but he won't let go of me. "You did?"

He laughs a little, a self-deprecating sound. I hate that from him. "It was so awkward but I couldn't help it."

"What happened?" I ask, rubbing my hands up and down the length of his back. My face is against his warm naked chest, his racing heart under my cheek.

"He was telling me how he lived when he was on drugs and how he fought so hard to kick them so he could be happy. And he says he's happy now, he's filled with joy because he knows he fought and won."

"That's wonderful, Eric," I say, thinking he's done talking, but he's not.

"And I asked him…I asked him how he was so strong. How he got so strong and he said _I _taught him. _Me_. But how is that…how was it me?" he whispers and my heart wants to just shatter because he doesn't see, he never sees his strength or his worth. He doesn't recognize all the things he does for other people and all the reasons people love him. This is what I want for him, what I hope he gains in therapy.

"Of course it was you, Eric," I say into his chest, wishing he would let me look into his eyes. "You were there for him whenever he needed you growing up. You fought so hard to make him happy," I say, remembering what Pam told me about how desperately Eric tried. "He sees your strength everyday when he watches you take care of your baby now. You're smart and successful and loving and strong, Eric."

"Well," he says, backing up and turning to his dresser for a t-shirt. "So I'm going. To therapy. So you don't have to worry about me anymore, right? Or me and Sander. That will help ease your stress, won't it? And Anni only has one more tooth to break through and then she will feel better, I think. So you can just concentrate on your studies, okay? Please don't worry about me."

I walk up to Eric and rub his back. He's good at being brave. He's good at being guilty, which is why he won't let me see his face. Like I'm going to stop worrying because he plans on making a counseling appointment. It's good, I'm happy about it, but I'm still going to worry. "I love you, Eric, so I'm always going to worry about you, but I do feel better that you and Sander talked. This place was getting to be a little tense so I'm glad it will be better now." When he doesn't say anything, I kiss his back and then resume getting dressed, putting on my same clothes as before.

"I'm going to try really hard to make your life as stress-free as possible," Eric says, wrapping his arms around my middle and putting his head on my shoulder from behind. "Anything you need, just let me know. You need space? Just tell me and I won't pout. You need to study at home? That's fine, I can entertain myself sometimes. Just please tell me what you need and I'll do it for you."

"Eric, baby, you're going to stress yourself out trying to de-stress me."

He laughs and his body shakes mine. "I guess. I just want you to be happy."

"I am. How could I not be with you taking care of me?"

"Well…okay," he murmurs. He clearly doesn't believe me. He kisses my cheek and then moves to his bedroom door. "You ready?"

"Yup." Since he doesn't want to talk anymore.

As we walk through the hallway he says, "Oh, I decided to talk to my mother on the phone. Maybe tomorrow."

This is big! But when I want to say something about it to him, he is already halfway down the stairs. The stinker doesn't want to talk about it so he tells me and then runs. Well, at least he told me, I guess.

He gives me a goofy little smile when I catch him downstairs and I'm glad for his little bit of playfulness over a tough topic. I pinch his side when I walk up to him and it makes him jump and grin. "Brat," I mutter. I walk up to Annika and sit down with her on the floor. I think Sander has been back for a while. "Are you boys hungry or did you eat enough for several small villages at that buffet you went to for lunch?"

Sander starts to laugh and pat his stomach. "There is always room for more, right Eric?"

Eric laughs and nods enthusiastically. "Always. Are you making us dinner? We can do take-out."

"No, you already ate out today. I need to keep you healthy. You ate enough take out in the last year to last the rest of your life, I'm sure!"

Eric smiles at me and walks over to pet my head while I'm on the floor with Anni. "Thank you, beautiful," he purrs.

"No problem. Anni and I planned dinner while you were gone, didn't we, Anni?" She grins at me and nods her head and I have no idea if she actually knows what I'm talking about. She's just so freaking cute that I have to snatch her up and squeeze her.

* * *

><p><strong>ERIC<strong>

"So I ran into Sophie this weekend," I tell Pam as she sits in front of my desk, going over my day with me.

She jumps from her seat and leans over my desk. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Nope." Her reaction is just what I thought it would be.

"Eric! Spill your fucking guts!"

"I was with Sander downtown and we saw her at Copley. She walked up to me, flirted with Sander, I told her to leave me the fuck alone, and we walked away."

"And?" Her eyes are piercing mine, waiting for more of the story.

"That's all there is."

"Bullshit! Why the fuck is she here? Does she think she can weasel her way back into your life? Did you tell Sookie? I need to call that girl."

"Sookie?"

"Yes. I'm sure she's freaking out."

"Well, she was, but we're fine now. As for the rest? I don't know."

"I'm going to find out. Don't try to stop me. You can't bury your head in the sand on this one, Eric. You need to be proactive and figure out what she—"

"I know, Pam. Go ahead and work your magic. Let me know what you find out."

She smiles at me, relieved that I won't be fighting her on this. "Good."

"Good…So, can we get to work? Sander is coming for lunch and I'm going to play hooky for a few hours."

She smiles, happy that I'm being irresponsible I'm sure. She thinks I'm too serious and maybe she's right.

* * *

><p><strong>PAM<strong>

When Eric told me about running into the mega-bitch, Sophie, my first thought was of the duct tape and black garbage bags I would need to make sure this cunt never fucks up Eric's life again. But once thoughts of murdering her violently ran from my head, I got down to business tracking her down. I called an old acquaintance of mine, and a friend of the LeClerq family, to get the scoop on what the hell she is doing here when she is supposed to live across the fucking country.

Apparently, she is here visiting. She's been here for two weeks already and if she cared anything about her daughter, she would have tried to see her already. If she tries now, because she happened to run into Eric, there is no way she can get away with a sob story about missing her baby or some shit. No. She's a fucking bitch and that's all there is to it.

So imagine my surprise, and the roll of my eyes, when I see her and her straw hair and huge fake tits coming down the hallway towards my desk. Thank fucking heaven that Eric and Sander have been gone for a while already.

"Alcide," I say to him across my desk where he sits, "You'll have to come back later. Although, I'm not fucking you in Eric's bathroom again. He's back from vacation. He will notice."

"Come on. It will only take five minutes," he pleads.

"Oh, that makes it so much better," I say, rolling my eyes. "So you can get off and leave me smelling like your spunk all day? No thank you."

"Please Pam! I'll cum on the shower floor and we can rinse it down. He'll never know."

"Alcide! No! Besides, you're no good at pulling out. You always get too excited and then I'm left with your jizz running down my thigh. I can't do this right now. You need to leave. Go have a wank in the men's room." Sophie is getting closer.

"But—"

"Now!" I hiss. He stands up and slinks away, shoulders slumped and looking all forlorn. Ugh. Stupid fucking gorgeous baby!

He leaves just in time. As Sophie nears my desk, I have a flashback of the times when she used to try to barge into Eric's office, saying he would never keep her out if she wanted to see him. Unfortunately, she wasn't wrong. He used to drop everything when she came around and she would always stay just long enough to get him excited and get some money off of him. She would always be pocketing it and wiping her mouth demurely when she would come out of his office. And Eric would always be sitting behind his desk, looking flushed and frustrated, with lipstick on his mouth, when I would see him after she left.

He would have done anything for her, and he frequently did at the expense of his dignity. But he thought he was loved and he thought she was his family, which he was so desperately missing at that time. And she knew it.

So now, as this fucking skank comes walking up to my desk, I am determined that she will not get her hooks into him again in any way. He is just starting to live again and she brings nothing but death.

I stand up as she comes up to my desk. "What the fuck do you want?" I ask, looking into her cold eyes.

"It's none of your business, Pamela. It was never any of your business yet you somehow always wormed your way in, didn't you?"

Oh no she fucking didn't! I take a deep breath so I don't beat the everloving shit out of this whore right here at work. "Eric is my friend and his happiness _is_ my business. You are no longer in his life, Sophie. Why don't you just leave him the fuck alone? Here's not here anyway."

She starts to step around me, trying to ignore me and get to Eric, since I'm sure she thinks I'm lying. When I move back in front of her she stops to look at me. "Eric was mine for three years, Pamela. You don't think that if I wanted him again, he wouldn't come running? That if I wanted I couldn't have him heeling nicely with one flick of my wrist and one stroke of my hand along his huge cock. We both know I can have him begging on the floor whenever I want."

Images of a bloody pile of goo with fake tits and bleached blonde hair pass through my mind and I clench my manicured hands to keep from striking her. If I break a nail, I will break her face.

"And here I was thinking that you actually had some remorse about the way you left him and your own child. You make me sick."

Sophie narrows her eyes at me as if that's supposed to scare me. I have half a foot on her easily and I could flatten her if I were so inclined.

"Yes, she's my child and if I want her, if I tell him that I want to be in their lives, he will come running and you know it!"

Well, she's wrong about that and that's what I know, but I won't tell her that. The less she knows about his life now, the better. If she knows that he is happily involved with another woman, her bluff might actually turn into a real nightmare for everyone involved.

"Look Sophie, the bottom line is I can't let you fuck with his life. Not anymore. He's finally happy. He has finally started living again and I won't let your presence in his life pull him back down. You have absolutely no idea what you did to him. You fucked with his heart and with his head on a daily basis for three years…and then you left him with a newborn baby and took off! How do you think you deserve anything more from him? How do you think you deserve to be in his daughter's life?"

"She's my daughter too! If I want to see her, I should be able to see her!"

Ugh. Can a slap this bitch just for being whiny? If anybody deserved to be whiny, it was Eric, when he was on round the clock baby duty all alone. But he wasn't. Anything he ever did for his girl was done out of love and he never complained once about any of it. "You think you deserve to be in her life? Where were you when she was up every two hours at night? Where were you when Eric was frantically reading parenting books because he wanted to be a better father than his own? Where were you when Eric was bereft because he had to come back to work to support his family when all he wanted to do was cuddle the only thing that made him the slightest bit happy?"

She's just staring at me. And blinking. The fucking bitch, I'm going to rip her fake lashes right off her overly made-up eyes!

"Well, I'm sure Eric has enough money that he hired the best nannies. If he would have taken his father's money, he probably could have stayed home for longer."

"It's all about money to you, isn't it? Do you have any idea why he didn't want his father's money? Did you ever even care anything about him? Did you ask him why he was sad sometimes? Or why he didn't sleep well? Did you give a shit about him at all? Or was it all about his money and his family?"

Sophie actually looks chagrinned by my last statement. "I did love him," she whispers. Right, well apparently not enough.

"Did you? Because from what I saw, you never made him happy. You never cared about the real him. You just wanted a rich reformed playboy to flaunt. But when he didn't play by your rules and he wasn't an attention whore like you, you decided to keep him around anyway, why? Because he's a good fuck?"

Sophie's face flushes in that embarrassed sort of way that happens when someone has your number. "He was good to me. He treated me better than the other rich assholes I dated. And yes, he's excellent in bed, but that's not the only reason why I stayed with him. I really did love him."

"Then how could you fuck him over so thoroughly? With so much malice?"

"Look, Pam! I _had_ the fucking kid! I carried her for nine fucking months for him. She stretched my body and ruined by boobs. I had to work out and starve myself like mad for two months before I could even audition! I did that for him! Because he was so fucking happy when I told him I was pregnant."

"Do you want a fucking medal?"

"Fuck you! I could have gotten rid of it. I could have just told him something was wrong."

"Yes, and you didn't. You had her and then you just left. You didn't talk things through with him. You didn't tell him you had doubts or that you weren't ready to be a mother. You let him fall in love with the idea of his family and then you ripped it away from him. Did he beg you to stay and you just ignored him?"

"On his knees," she whispers. Luckily for her she looks upset to be remembering his grief. Because the wave of utter sadness that pulses through my body is followed closely by a wave of fury and she would be under the stiletto heel of my Manolo Blahniks if not.

I'm torn about Sophie. Because if not for her, Eric would not have his Anni, who he delights in, but he also would not have the heartache that caused him to go inside himself for an entire year. If she had not left him though, who knows what his life would be like. Unless motherhood would have changed her completely, raising a family with Sophie would have been a nightmare for Eric. But this, right here that she is doing—this trying to worm her way back into his life for some reason—this has to stop. None of them deserve this stress—not Eric or Annika or Sookie—and I'm going to make sure she understands that.

"So leave him alone now. Leave his baby alone. She doesn't know you and you don't plan on staying around. If you do anything good for her as the woman who gave birth to her, then leave her alone with her father. That's the only thing you did right by her, letting Eric have her. Don't screw it up now."

Sophie looks at me for a few seconds and I stare right back at her, thinking she is going to say something to make me want to slap her. But instead, because everything about this bitch has to be as annoying as possible, she starts leaking. Great. Big silent tears slip down her face and if I cared anything about her, I would say she needed a hug. But fuck her.

"Can I see a picture of her…at least?" she whispers, blotting her eyes with her fingertips.

I grab my purse and pull a picture of Annika from my wallet. Oh, whatever, she's the only kid I have in there. "Here," I say, thrusting it into her hands. Eric and Sander are due back any minute and this bitch needs to be out of here when they come. "Keep it."

Sophie stares at the picture for an absolute eternity and I keep looking out my door into the hallway to make sure Eric isn't coming.

"She looks just like him…That's good," she whispers, tracing the baby's features on the small photograph. She looks up at me and smiles slightly. "Thank you. Tell Eric…Don't tell him anything. I shouldn't have come here."

She turns around and walks with small quick steps, down the hallway and out the door. I sigh, an immense weight lifted from my shoulders because Eric won't have to see her again. I hope Sophie doesn't change her mind about pursuing visitation with Annika.

Alcide comes around the corner and from his quick re-entry I know he was there all along, listening. He gives me a look that makes me roll my eyes.

"What?" Underneath his tough exterior, he's a bleeding heart and I know he thinks I was cruel to that cunt.

"What if she wants to be in the baby's life now? She's her mother..."

"Yes, and she was her mother when she had her cut from her body weeks too early so she wouldn't get stretch marks and she was her mother when she ordered the baby into the nursery for her entire hospital stay and she was her fucking mother when she abandoned her and moved across the fucking country!"

Alcide remains quiet because he values his balls and he knows I am in no mood for his soft-hearted bullshit. He approaches me cautiously and rubs his big hands up and down my arms. "Okay. I didn't know."

It's true what I told him. And Eric couldn't stay in the hospital and he couldn't take the baby for three days since she was early. It killed him to know that his daughter was lying in a plastic bassinet in the sterile hospital nursery instead of in the loving arms of a parent. He was there every day for as long as he was allowed, just holding that baby on his chest. And he's the only one who can't see what a good and loving person he is. All he sees is his mistakes.

"So now you know," I say quietly. Alcide's hands feel good, he's taking away my anger with his soothing passes up and down my arms and across my shoulders.

"I'm sorry," he says. He looks at me the way he always does—with too much feeling—and it makes my chest do that obnoxious tightening thing.

I smile and put my hands on his torso, at his ribs. As they slide down his body, he stiffens and starts to breathe heavily. It never takes more than a lingering touch to get him going. "Baby," I coo at him. He drops his head and I put my lips to his, almost touching. "Go back to work." I push forward to give him a tiny kiss and then back up, dropping my hands away from him.

He growls and I cock my eyebrow at him, shutting him up. Alcide is fun, but sometimes I wish he wouldn't let me get away with all the shit I do to him. He turned out to be a real pussy, and even though I love pussy, his softness is starting to annoy me.

I sit down at my desk and he just stands there. I make a shooing motion with one hand. "Off you fuck."

His eyes narrow and he stalks toward me and so help me god, my heart starts to race. He puts his hands on the arms of my office chair and leans down heavily, pressing me back into my chair with the weight of his eyes. "Woman!" he grits out, "You'd better respect me or I will have you over my knee. Right. Here." His face is millimeters from mine, his eyes hard and penetrating, and fucking A, my panties are wet. Alcide surges forward, forcing me back, and gives me a bruising kiss, driving his tongue into my mouth. Before I even have the chance to kiss him back, he is gone, leaving my chest heaving and my lips swollen. I put my fingertips to my lips and sigh like a stupid girl. Fuck a zombie. I'm fucking hot for him.

* * *

><p><strong>Does anyone else want to throw Sophie into the middle of next week? Ugh. Eric was with her for three years. Can you imagine how little he thinks of himself to stay with someone like her for so long? It makes me want to hug him so hard!<strong>

**Did you like hearing from Pam? I know she has an outtake but I worried about putting her directly into the story. I had to though, to spare Eric a confrontation with Sophie.**

**As always, check out my wordpress site for more goodies. I posted a bunch of tiny one-shots this week called little bits. **

**Thanks for reading this story! I can't believe I'm at 50 chapters! That's crazy! I think I got to respond to all the reviewers this week but if I didn't get to you, thank you for your comments! I appreciate all you readers!**


	51. Chapter 51

**I know it's been a while between updates. I was a little stuck on how I wanted to proceed but I have it now. I also can't remember if I thanked all the reviewers last time, so if I didn't, I'm really sorry and I will do my best to get to everyone this time. I really appreciate the time you take to review the story. :)**

**If you haven't check out my wordpress site in a while, please do so. I have a bunch of little stories called little bits and you can find them all on a page at the top called- little bits. There is one that turned into a multi-part story about Sookie meeting a scruffy Eric which turns into a love story. So far there are 6 parts and it's called Shave and a Haircut (Shave for short). One of the bits is a vamp story about Sookie meeting Godric for the first time and it's my first slash fic. That one has one more part to go which will be a G/S/E threesome. Also Getting It On is up to 22 chapters and there are only 3 left until the end. There is lots to read there if you want to venture over! VictoryInTrouble at wordpress .**

**Please enjoy!**

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><p><strong>SOOKIE<strong>

I look at the list for the hundredth time, muttering to myself as I walk up and down the grocery store aisles in search of everything we will need for tomorrow night's dinner party. I can't help but be preoccupied and I keep forgetting what I've gone in search of by the time I get to the aisle in which it resides. I'm also shopping in a totally inefficient way, going back to the same aisle two or three times to get what I need.

I just can't stop thinking about how Eric is feeling. It's been days since we've heard anything from Sophie. Since she went to Eric's office for who knows what reason and was stopped by Pam. Pam is basically my hero for making sure Eric didn't have to confront Sophie. I'm sure he will someday, but I guess she's probably gone back to California again.

He also had his first therapy appointment this morning and I can't stop wondering how it went, if he found it helpful or weird, if he is in a bad mood now because of it. I am hoping that it went well and that Eric will go again and will keep going even once Sander leaves. He went with Sander today and I'm not sure if that was the plan or if he asked for his brother to go with him. Maybe Sander wanted to go along.

I really hope he found it helpful…or at least not horrible. I want him to be willing to go again but I also want him to be in a good mood tonight and this weekend. We are having a bunch of people over tomorrow and he and I will be spending virtually all day in the kitchen. If he's mopey or worse, behaves like a jerk to me, the day will be unbearable. Not that I don't understand that he might be a little fragile or needy for a while, I can handle that. I just don't want him to turn into an ass. I've really had enough of fighting with him. I really just want him to be happy. I know how bad he feels when he snaps at me and I just want him happy.

My phone rings right as I'm reaching for a bag of potatoes so I heft it into the cart and then answer. Apart from some brief texts and one rushed phone call, I haven't heard from Eric all day. He had a lot of work to make up for his missed time in the morning and he was busy all day. I had the thought to call Pam and check up on him but I thought that he might be upset if he found out. He didn't like it last time even though we were trying to help him. I just had to trust that he would be okay and if not, that he would tell me.

"Eric?" I answer, pushing the cart with my hip as I grab some herb bundles.

"Hey Sookie, how are you? Almost done?"

"Um, yeah sort of. Maybe a third of the list to go but I keep running around this store like a chicken with its head cut off—"

He barks out a laugh. "That's one of the expressions I really love."

His laughter feels good and some lady gives me a weird look because my smile has gotten way too big for the grocery store.

"You should have let me shop. You could have picked up the take-out."

"I know, I know. I just want everything to be perfect tomorrow and let's face it, I don't think you even look at what produce you're picking up. You just grab whatever's on top."

I expect him to laugh at this because I tease him about it all the time but instead, I just hear a few muttered grumbles through the phone. "Hey, sorry. I'm just messing with you," I say quietly.

"Yeah, I know. It's fine. Um, so Anni and I are almost at Royal India. I'll call you when we're on our way home."

"Okay, bye," I say. I continue shopping, hoping that his mood improves when I see him. By the time I'm finished shopping, I have way too many groceries to walk home with and have to hail a cab.

Eric calls me again when I'm in the cab, which is about a four minute drive to his house.

"Yeah, I'm just about at your door," I tell him when he asks where I am. "I'll just set the table and then put the groceries away. Did you get me a paratha?"

"Yes, angel. And I got you a lassi although Anni seems to have coveted it. I let her have a sip and then she wouldn't let it go." He laughs a little. It seems he's in a better mood. He really only calls me angel when he's happy…or really sick.

"Aww, my baby can have it!" I laugh. That girl is so cute! "Eric?" He's gone silent.

"Yeah? Oh, yeah, okay. I'll let her have some more so she stops yelling at me."

"Good, I'll see you soon." He's definitely pre-occupied and maybe a little touchy but it doesn't seem too bad. I hope he's okay.

I pay the cab driver and then grab my grocery bags and walk up to Eric's door thinking that I'm in for a long night. I rap on the door lightly and then use my key to let myself in. Eric should be walking up anytime now from his errand to get dinner. Sander should be inside so as I walk in, I look around to see if he's in the living room.

He is.

He is in the living room all right. He has someone with long dark hair pinned against the wall with his arm across their chest, gripping the clothes on their opposite shoulder. Their mouths are locked together and there is some soft moaning going on. Oh my god. And his other hand is moving up and down his…no, not _his_…oh!

I gasp and Sander's head whips around. His eyes go wide and his face goes red. We are just stuck, staring at each other, the shock rendering us both immobile. The man against the wall breaks my trance. He puts his hand on Sander's chest and Sander looks down at his own hand and then let's go like he's been scalded. The other man tucks himself away and then moves away from the wall.

Sander seems to collect himself and turns to face me. He gives me a small quick smile and a chagrinned shrug of his shoulders. "I'm sorry," he says. "We should have gone upstairs."

"Um," I say, at a loss for words. "It's fine, really. Just, um, Eric is pretty much right behind me. Is your friend staying for dinner?"

"Oh, no," says said friend. "I need to be on my way." He has an accent too, though it doesn't sound Swedish.

"It's okay if you want to stay," I say, recovering my Southern hospitality. "We would love to have a friend of Sander's for dinner."

"Thanks but I must go." He smiles and Sander hooks his arm and walks him toward the door as I walk to the kitchen with the groceries.

"Well, it was nice to meet…you," I say, faltering because I guess I really didn't meet him properly. I don't even know his name.

By the time Eric is back, I have put away about half of the groceries. I hear him greet his brother and then Sander goes upstairs and Eric comes into the kitchen with Annika.

"Hi, angel, I missed you. Didn't you miss her, Anni?" The baby reaches for me so I empty my hands and grab her.

"I missed you too, princess," I say, giving her a kiss. She puckers her lips like she just learned to do and plants a big kiss on my cheek. I laugh and walk over to Eric so I can kiss him too. "I missed your daddy, too." Eric leans down to kiss my lips and Annika smacks him in the face. He laughs but I scowl, taking her hand and helping her pet Eric's face where she just hit him. "Gentle, Annika. Be gentle to Daddy."

Eric looks at me with a strange expression. "I probably shouldn't laugh, I guess."

"Not unless you want her to smack you all the time." I let go of Anni's hand and she pets Eric's face a couple more times before he moves to kiss her and I put her down to get into whatever trouble she's going to get into in the kitchen. "Is the food on the table?"

"Yes, thanks for setting it. Can I help you with the groceries?"

I nod, taking a good look at Eric. He looks exhausted and I internally curse myself for not realizing that he most likely did not sleep last night. I asked him to get Indian take-out from my favorite place that doesn't deliver and he walked all the way there and back. I feel like such an unthoughtful girlfriend.

"Why don't you sit down with Annika, baby. Aren't you tired?"

"I'm fine. You got all this stuff, it's the least I can do."

"Okay, thank you," I sigh, not wanting to argue with him even though he looks like he wants to fall asleep right where he stands.

Eric grabs a bag filled with apples and when he takes it out of the grocery bag the apples fall and roll all over the floor. Anni immediately chases after one, squealing in delight. I look at Eric, about to laugh, but the scowl on his face shuts my mouth. He curses under his breath and I hear him say something about the bag not being tied closed.

"Sorry," I say. I must have missed that one.

He smiles. "That's okay. Not your fault. I'm sure they're fine still," he says, walking all around the kitchen to retrieve the fallen fruit. He's still cursing under his breath, though, so I'm inclined to think things are less okay than he says.

"How'd it go this morning?" I say, taking the chance that he may answer me and maybe talking will take some of his tension.

He looks at me for a couple seconds and the play of emotions on his face has me confused. "I don't…" He takes a breath and tries again. "Listen, Sookie, I love you and I'm afraid I'm going to hurt your feelings if I…I'm just not ready to discuss today but maybe tonight after I've had some time to relax, we can talk...but right now I'm not ready." His eyes are so soft on mine and his words were so well thought out. I'm surprised—and pleased—that he is holding himself together so well.

"Sure, baby," I say, caressing his cheek, "whatever you need." He pulls me into his body and briefly drops his face to the crook of my neck before backing up and finishing the groceries with me.

"Sander went upstairs so I'll just go get him," he says, when it's time to eat.

"Wait!" I say, grabbing his arm. I had completely forgotten what I walked in on tonight. "Did you see Sander's friend on your way in? You must have passed him."

"Oh, the guy from the music school? I saw someone but they were walking the other way. Why? He seemed nice."

I hear Sander coming down the stairs so I put a mental pin in our conversation and smile as I pick up the baby. "Yeah, he did seem nice," I agree. I start to put Anni in her highchair but she kicks her legs and squeals while reaching for Eric as if I'm trying to place her into a torture device. Sometimes she is so feisty. She pretty much knows Eric will let her do whatever she wants so I'm trying to show him gentle ways for him to get her to behave when she should. I understand that she is still so little but he can still teach her not to hit and things like that.

Sander looks at me and the baby and then at Eric, who is unpacking the bag of food, before walking over to Annika and handing her a piece of naan from the foil packet. She immediately quiets down and starts to munch on the bread and the words 'it takes a village,' run through my mind. I will be sad when Sander leaves in a couple weeks.

"Oh, thank god," say Eric. "I was trying to ignore her but I was about to freak out."

"At least you admit it," I tease. He is completely wrapped around her finger.

"It's later than we usually eat so I figured she was hungry," says Sander.

"Thanks," says Eric. He sits down with a smile and I feel really happy that he's okay with that. The more insecure version he was a couple months ago would have beaten himself up because he didn't give his baby something to eat.

"So how were things with the music school?" Eric asks Sander. Sander looks briefly at me before he answers. The music school? That's what Eric said earlier.

"Great! I just have to decide. I liked everything I saw today."

"When will you decide?"

"Wait," I say. "What are you talking about? What music school? Berklee?"

"Oh! Yeah, he sprung it on me, too," says Eric, playfully scowling at his brother.

"I just wasn't sure I would want to stay. Or that you'd want me…to stay." He looks so childlike that I reach for his hand and give it a squeeze. He smiles at me. "I applied for the Berklee College of Music some time ago and was accepted. I have to give them an answer soon as to whether I will go next Fall."

"What! Yes! You'll tell them yes!" Both men laugh at my excited demands and I smile and rephrase. "I mean…What do you think you'll do?"

"Are you kidding?" he laughs. "I'll tell them yes!" he squeals, imitating my accent.

Eric starts to laugh really loudly and so does Annika even though she doesn't know what's so funny. I watch Eric with his head tipped back and his tongue peeking out and feel a rush of warmth move through me for his happiness.

"Are you really going to stay here?" I ask. I have only known Sander for a couple weeks but I feel like he's already family and the thought that he will be here for a lot longer makes me so happy.

Sander looks at Eric, who looks back happily. "I really think so. Of course I'll get my own place," he says quickly.

"You know you can stay here as long as you want," Eric says. "We only used to use that room for studying and sex fikas."

"Eric!" I sputter, coughing because I had just taken a drink.

"Sex fikas," Sander repeats, smirking. He looks so much like Eric in this moment that I almost clap my hand over his mouth to shut him up.

I know I am bright red. And what's worse is that I am now mentally flipping through all the ways that Eric had me in that room and it's not helping me to calm down any. Eric winks at me and my belly pulses with desire for him.

"What will you study?" I manage to ask so I can get my mind onto anything but Eric's huge hands all over my skin.

Sander looks at me and I can tell I'm not fooling him. He knows exactly what's going through my head but he answers me anyway. "Music Therapy."

We spend the rest of dinner discussing Sander staying and going to college here and how happy we all are at the prospect. Eric seems to be in a good mood and I'm really happy to see that. I am hoping he'll want to talk to me about his appointment sometime tonight. I don't want to push him but the whole thing makes me a little anxious.

Once dinner is done and Annika is asleep, Eric finds me in his bedroom, studying at my desk. Walking in on Sander with another guy has come again to the front of my mind and I want to talk to him about it.

"Hey, beautiful," he says, running his hand over my hair. He bends down to kiss my forehead and I reach up to pull him down further.

"Hi, how is everything?" I ask, kissing his warm cheek. He always comes back really warm when he puts the baby to bed. I guess because they snuggle as he rocks her.

"I'm good…" He knows I have something on my mind, I can tell by the look on his face.

"So I walked in on Sander kissing his friend in the living room. And…touching him," I say really quickly.

Eric looks at me for a second, as if he's letting my words roll around in his brain. I wonder if he understands what I'm telling him.

"Okaay," he says, drawing out the word. I don't think he understands me.

"Sander was fondling and kissing another man." I look straight in his face and am really surprised when anger passes over his features before he replaces it with a neutral look.

"Yeah," he spits out. "I got it. And?" I'm surprised at the hostility in his voice. Is he mad at me?

"Is he gay? I thought…those women at the aquarium…" I don't know what else to say. I wasn't prepared for his anger.

"He's bisexual, Sookie. There _are_ people who like both."

"Eric, geez! I know! Pam is bisexual…You think I care? He can do what he wants. I was just surprised, that's all. Okay?"

He blows out a breath and his shoulders sag. He looks down at me with a timid expression. "I'm sorry. I'm just so used to defending Sander. I've been doing it all my life. I'm really sorry, Sookie. I know you don't judge him. You're like the least judgmental person I know."

He comes to me slowly as if I won't want to hug him, but I do. I can see he needs the reassurance of a hug too. I open my arms and he comes in unintentionally hard, pushing the air out of my lungs with his chest as my back hits the wall. I start laughing and he playfully growls against my neck. My hands go into his hair and he suddenly hikes me up with his hands under my thighs.

"_I _only like women," he says. "Particularly one woman."

I wrap my legs around his waist and lift his face to mine. "I'd love to meet this woman some day. She must be a wonderful person if she's captured your interest."

He smiles and says, "She is spectacular! A real beauty. And her oral sex skills—Mmm!"

"Eric!" I say, laughing. "You always say that! I don't think it's that big of a deal, is it? You just lick it and then put it in your mouth."

He laughs, like really laughs and almost drops me. "Oh my god, Sookie. You just lick it. Well, yeah, you lick it but trust me, that's not always gonna do it. You like to do it and I think that makes you really good at it. It's not a chore to you."

"Only because it's you. I don't think I always liked it or was any good at it."

His face darkens because I'm talking about Bill so I quickly move to kiss him. I thread my fingers into his hair and make fists with both my hands. Eric growls against my lips, sending vibrations straight to my center. God, I love this man! We haven't played rough in a long time. He seems to need the sweet sex nowadays. But right now I want to play and I think he might just need to.

I rake my fingernails down both sides of his neck and he looks at me with dark eyes. He pushes his body into mine and hooks my neck in his large hand, pulling me into his mouth. His lips take mine hungrily, with a deep need that I haven't felt from him since we first started having sex. His hands are all over my hair, tugging it and I'm sure making a mess of it. He pulls back and we pant, our breath mingling as we stare into each other's eyes.

With a growl that makes his chest rattle, he crushes my mouth with his own, reaching under my skirt. He skims his hand up my thigh to my panties and pulls them aside, sliding his fingers into me and making me gasp. He pulls back. "Unzip me," he orders. Without hesitation, I do what I'm told, unzipping his jeans, but I stop there. I kind of like him ordering me around right now.

He makes a deep sound in the back of his throat. "Sookie."

"Yes?" I ask, giving my voice all the innocence of a schoolgirl. I bat my eyelashes and everything. He growls.

"Take me out. Don't tease me."

"Don't tease you?" I say, rubbing my hand over his hard-on still trapped in his pants. He growls my name again and I look up at him, smiling like the angel he has named me. "I just want to take off your shirt first," I purr, moving my hands up to his top button. He stays silent until it's clear that I'm unbuttoning him as slowly as I can. He is nearly undone with frustration by the time I get halfway down his shirt. He's panting and his chest is heaving by the time I finish and pull it off.

"There," I whisper as if he is not practically vibrating in front of me. "Now what should I do?"

His eyes narrow and he drops me to the ground, rips down his pants, pulls himself out of his boxers and then grabs me up again. I barely have time for a single breath before he is at my entrance with his eyes burning mine.

"Damn! I think you got your second wind!" I say, giggling. He looks at me like I've gone crazy.

"I've gotten wind?" he asks, raising that one delicious eyebrow. I forget he's only been here for a third of his life. He doesn't know all the weird things people say.

"It means that you're not tired anymore," I says gesturing like Vanna White, to our intertwined bodies.

"Oh!" he laughs, "Americans." I can feel him nudging my entrance as his body shakes.

"Hey!" I pinch his nipple and he gasps and then growls again. I love that sexy sound. We stare at each other in sparking silence until he smirks at me.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard," he grits out. His breath is ragged as he waits for my consent.

I wrap my hands in his hair, tug his head back, and devour his pretty mouth, taking his bottom lip between my teeth. "Give me all you've got," I say against his ear.

He shivers and I smile. He's trembling as he pushes slowly inside me. I've made him wait and he is barely contained. "Ready?" he whispers when he's fully buried. His word is strained, his eyes filled with a frenzied heat. He needs to possess me right now and I will give myself over to him for this time.

~~—~~—~~

As we lie panting after, I roll to face him and trace a finger around his chest. "How did it go today?" His face goes from relaxed and sated to anxious in a split second. I'm sorry I asked because I did not mean to upset him again.

He sighs and opens his mouth but then shuts it without saying anything.

"It's okay. It's none of my business." I kiss his cheek, hoping to see him looking relaxed again.

"No, it's not that I don't want you to know…I just don't…It was hard," he finally says. "I mostly listened to Sander. I spent the whole time trying not to cry…and wanting to reach into my father's grave and choke the life out of him. He's still alive, you know? In here," he says, patting his chest over his heart. "And in Sander's tears, which he is so good at letting go…I just…I can't stand to see him cry. It…I'm just right back in my childhood home, listening to my father tell him how pathetic he is or hugging him after Pappa yells at him."

I am transfixed my his sad words, staring at his mouth as he bares his feelings in a way that he never has before. I don't think I have ever heard him call his father Pappa. It just shows me that he is back there right now. He is a child, hurt and vulnerable, and I hate that for him. I knew therapy would do this and I just have to remind myself that the end result will be good even if the process is heart wrenching. He takes a deep breath and pushes it out forcefully, breaking the spell of his heartache. He turns his head toward me and smiles. "It was hard," he says, "but I'm going back."

Tears flow down my face at an alarming rate. I think I am just as surprised and slightly horrified as he is. He looks at me with concern etched in his brow and I laugh because I'm not sad in the slightest. I feel a weight lifted off my chest, in fact. He wants to go back! I put my hands on his face and smooth his brow. "I'm so happy!" I say. "I know I'm crazy but I'm just so damn happy." He smiles and soon we are both laughing like a couple of loons. He rolls on top of me and stops laughing and so do I. He leans down and kisses me with tender lips.

"Thank you, Sookie. You have stood by me for so long when I acted like a huge brat and an ever bigger asshole. I'm going to get better, Sookie. I'm going to be free of him and I'm going to be happy." His eyes are wet with tears when he kisses me again and his body is full of tender passion when he makes love to me. He should sleep like the dead tonight.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it. I'd love to hear your thoughts. :)<strong>


	52. Chapter 52

**ERIC**

Therapy is hard. The only reason I made an appointment is because I told Sander I would. The only reason I actually went was because he went with me. The reason I am going again—that is all mine. Sander was right when he told me that Sookie would get tired of picking me up and holding me together. That's my job. It's something I need to do for myself…and it's about fucking time I did so. Annika deserves me at my best and frankly, I deserve me at my best, too. I'm sick of feeling like this. I thought I did a good job of pushing everything down and living my life. I thought I was fine. But falling in love with Sookie changed everything. I suddenly had this woman in my life who wouldn't let me hide. This woman who pulled feelings from my chest and words from my mouth whether I wanted her to or not. This woman who loved me. She loves me for everything I am and despite everything I am not. She loves my heart as well as my body. She actually cares about what I have to say and she actually wants to make me happy. I want to make her happy too which is why I know I need to take care of myself as well as her.

Looking back on the life that I thought was working out so well for me, I can see that I haven't been alright for a long time. It's possible I haven't been alright for my entire life. And I can dwell on it and mope and feel sorry for myself that I had a shitty father and a disloyal mother and a self-medicating brother and a bitchy girlfriend who left me and our baby—damn, that's a lot—but I don't want to feel sorry for myself. I want to get better. That's why I'm going back to therapy. And next time, I might even speak.

"Hey Sander," I say, knocking lightly on his door. I had to get up, my mind was swirling too much to sleep. Nobody else is awake, the sun's not even up yet, but I can hear him moving around and hear his TV on.

"Come in, Bror," he calls. He uses more English than Swedish with me now. He pats the bed next to him and I sit against his headboard with him, facing the TV. "Can't sleep?"

"Too much going through my head." We're both looking straight ahead at whatever infomercial he's watching so early in the morning.

"I was the same way when I first started therapy. Of course, I was also missing the drugs that mellowed me enough to sleep through anything."

"Do you still miss them?" That's one thing I never experienced, an addiction to something like that.

"Every fucking day," he answers quietly. He glances at me because I'm looking at him.

"Every day?" Wow. I guess I didn't think it would be that bad.

"At least once a day I think how good a little bit of coke would make me feel or how I could handle things better if I just got some dope in my veins. Or an H bomb."

The way he groans at that makes me think that would be something especially good but I have no idea what an H bomb is. "An H bomb?"

"Heroin and Ecstasy." Again, the groan. It's making me uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry I brought this up, Sander. I guess it's not something you need to be thinking about right?" Frankly, the way he's acting is making me nervous. I should have kept my damn mouth shut.

"It's fine, Eric. Just because they make me shudder doesn't mean I'm going to use again. If I get into trouble, you know, if I feel like I need help, I call my sponsor. I have someone here but I haven't needed him. I'm fine, Eric. Don't worry, okay?"

"Yeah," I say, looking at his face. He's sincere, I can tell. We go back to watching the TV. "Thank you for being there at Dr. Ludwig's with me. It was much less scary because of you."

"No problem. Maybe you will talk next time, yes?" he says. I look at him to see a smirk on his face.

When I punch his arm, his head whips to face me. "Maybe next time you want to tug on a dick, you do it in your room, yes?" I say, mimicking him.

He actually blushes, which tells me he might like this guy more than he told me. "Shut up!" he say, punching me back. Before I know it, we are wrestling around on his bed and I put him into a headlock, smashing his face into the mattress with my body pinning his down. I will always be bigger than him.

"Boys!" says Sookie from the doorway, and I immediately jump off of Sander and onto the floor as my father's voice ricochets around my brain. He hated when we'd laugh and horse around like brothers are supposed to. He always made sure we knew how much we disgusted him and he'd always lead me out of the room by my arm, leaving Sander alone while he screamed at me in the other room.

I hear Sander laugh and I hear Sookie teasing us but I can only focus on my father yelling and calling me names. And if I cried, I just got called worse. And ironically, it is not even me that is attracted to boys, even though that's what my father said would happen. My father was wrong about which of us would be the "fruit." Fucking bastard.

I try to focus on Sookie so that I can stop hearing my father's voice in my head. Sander looks over at me and I can tell by his face that he knows just what I am remembering.

"At first I was afraid I was walking in on another sex scene like I did last night," says Sookie with a huge smile on her face.

"Yet, you still opened the door," says Sander with a raised eyebrow and a smug smirk. When I see him recovered from the memories I try even harder to focus on Sookie.

"Well, it wasn't closed all the way and I heard Eric's loud mouth so I knew it was him. Besides, I knocked. You two cuties were just too busy being Hulk Hogan to hear me."

She looks at me, smiling, and I walk up and pull her into my arms. "I love you," I whisper. She is the best person who's ever loved me.

She pulls back and takes my face in her hands, looking into my eyes. Her face becomes softer and softer the longer she looks at me. "Baby," she finally whispers, just as Sander excuses himself to the bathroom. "Sit," she softly orders, bringing us to the bedside. "What's the matter?" she asks when I comply.

"I was just thinking. My father hated when Sander and I fooled around like that. He used to separate us for a long time and yell at me and call me names—"

"Oh, honey," she murmurs, petting my face. I want to lean into her and cry but then I always feel like crying nowadays.

"It's okay. Long time ago, right?" I get up and walk out of the room before I do cry, and she follows me back to our bedroom. We pass Sander in the hallway and he pulls me into a hug and that does not help my resolve not to cry.

"He has no power over you that you don't give him…that's what they tell me," he says, with a shrug and a smile at the end. I know he is just as angry still so maybe that's something we can work on together. Though, I would give anything for the deep ache in my chest to be replaced with the tight heat of anger.

"Tack, Bror," I whisper as we step back from one another.

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" Sookie asks, as we climb back into bed. "We still have over an hour until Annika wakes up. Or should we take advantage of the fact that she is finally sleeping by herself again?" She waggles her eyebrows, something she got from me, and I playfully pounce on her.

"How about I make you feel good and then you let me sleep on you?"

"Baby, you can always sleep on me if you need to. I am happy to be squished into the mattress if that's what you need to sleep."

"I know angel, and that's one reason why I love you so much. But let me," I say, kissing her neck, "make you," now down to her clavicle, "feel really," her chest right above her pajama shirt, "really good." I finish the sentence by sliding her shirt up and kissing her stomach. "Your skin is always so soft," I whisper. When her hands find my hair and her fingers dive into it, my mouth dives lower, pulling her pajama bottoms off as I move down to her hot center. I can't get enough of her taste. I would live here if I could. I love the noises she makes when I lick her and the way her back arches when I push two of my fingers into her. She always tightens her fingers and pulls my hair when she gets close to her orgasm. I have to brace myself to hold on because sometimes she goes fucking crazy, and she can't decide whether she wants me to stop or keep licking her. She squeezes her thighs around my cheeks but pulls my head up so I have learned to hold on tightly to her hips or her hands if I can get them. The sounds she makes and the way her body writhes always tests my control, although sometimes I just want to let go and cum in my pants right along with her.

"Oh my god," she pants when her back touches the bed again. Her eyes are still closed, her legs moving slowly together as her chest heaves. I can tell how powerful her orgasm was by how long it takes her to close her mouth and open her eyes when I'm done with her. This one was pretty fucking intense. When she shudders, I know I did a good job.

Her eyes are still closed when I lay my head on her chest and wind my long arms around her waist. I breathe in her scent as I feel her soft warmth surround me and before I know it, my eyes blink open to reveal that I am alone in bed, with sunlight streaming through the window. The sweet warm scent of Sookie wafts from the bathroom so I know she must have showered in there recently. I look at my bedside clock and see that it's almost eleven. Fuck! I am supposed to be helping Sookie get ready for the dinner party. Why did she let me sleep? Shit!

I take the fastest shower I have ever taken and then fly down the stairs. Annika is in her chair at the table, eating a banana.

"Hi, baby!" I say, "Is Sookie mad at me? I overslept." I kiss her cheek and then I feel Sookie's hands cover my eyes as she kisses my back.

"I'm not mad…but I'm gonna put you right to work!"

"Do you need help in the kitchen?" I turn around and kiss her neck, running my nose along her skin. She breathes out a soft moan that goes straight to my dick.

Before I can do anything else, she backs up and smiles. "Yes. You ready to be my sous chef? I sent Sander to the shop for mussels and stuff but he was a lot of help this morning. He wanted to let you sleep."

"And you wanted me to get to work, huh?" I ask, winking and nudging her shoulder. "Who the hell says I'm the sous chef anyway?"

"Me." She turns and walks away and I follow because I am either her puppy or her sous chef and I don't mind either, really.

We spend the next hour slicing and chopping and kneading. Why Sookie insists on making both her own rustic bread boule and her own pie crusts is beyond me. I think she should just do the easy thing and buy them but I will do whatever I can to help. I can tell she is really excited about tonight because she hasn't stopped chattering the entire time. Sander's visit is a nice excuse to have a party. We are having more people over than I have ever had—except for Annika's birthday party but I didn't know most of those people.

"Sander!" I yell, when I hear him come in. "Come and take your niece before she kills one of us from tripping over her with a big knife!"

"I'm going to meet Ahmed but I can take her with me."

"Um…"

"We are meeting for lunch, in public," he smirks.

"So my daughter is not going to see her uncle fondling other people's di—"

"Eric!"

I look at Sookie and she is bright red. I laugh and apologize.

"Do you want her to come?" He picks her up and kisses her cheek. "Do you want to come with Uncle Sander?" he asks in Swedish. He knows I want her to learn so he still speaks to her in Swedish, which I appreciate.

"Danda!"

"Okay, just keep your phone on." He's taken her for walks before but never out somewhere like a restaurant. I trust him though and if he's going to be staying for a long time there is no reason I can see for him not being able to take her with him where he goes.

"Aww, Daddy Eric is worried. You know your daddy used to be tough a long time ago," he says to Annika in a ridiculous baby voice.

"You'll see when you have a kid. It's the scariest thing I've ever done."

His eyes are bright when he looks at me. "Yeah, maybe."

"Invite your friend for dinner tonight, Sander," says Sookie from the kitchen where she has gone to resume cooking. "Friend? Boyfriend? What do we call him?" There is no hint of judgment in her voice and I smile at her for her hospitality. I didn't even think of inviting him.

"I will, thanks. Just a friend for now," he says, blushing. I resist the urge to tease him about it because I really do want to see him happy and I know it's been forever since he's been intimate with anybody.

"Just a friend whose dick you get out in the living room." Okay, so my resistance didn't last long. I grin at him and he bumps his shoulder into me on his way to get his shoes.

I get Annika ready and he takes her and then goes for lunch with the instruction of what to get her to eat and the promise to bring her back for her nap. Now that she is sleeping well at night again, I do not want to mess up her new nap schedule. She takes just one a day now and sleeps for an hour longer at night. It kinda feels like heaven sleeping wrapped around Sookie when she is here.

"So," I say to Sookie as soon as they leave, "what can I do now?"

"You want to clean some mussels?"

"Sure. I can do that."

Things go along like this until Sander comes back and I put Annika down for her nap. I walk down the stairs and realize that I haven't eaten all day. I've had little bites here and there of whatever I was cutting up but nothing substantial. Sookie either, for that matter.

"Hey beautiful. Sit down and let me make you something for lunch." She's got flour all over her and god knows what in her hair. She's adorable.

"Eric, I don't have time. I still have to get the pie crusts pre-cooked, the pudding cooked so it can cool, slice the baguette—"

"Sookie, relax. You're making yourself crazy. It's all going to be fine. I'm helping and Sander's going to help with whatever you need." I steer her into a chair at the table and she sits with a sigh. I bring her a glass of wine even though it's early and then quickly make us omelets and toast.

"Thank you," she says as I set it in front of her. Her wine is already gone.

"Sookie, I don't like to see you so stressed out. What can I do?" She really didn't need this stress. I should never had agreed to let her do this. We could have hired someone to make the food.

"You're doing it, honey. You're being a big help. Your brother too. I'm just going to be stressed until everyone comes over and everything is ready."

"But why are you so nervous? These are all our friends."

"I know! All of them. Together. Argh, why did I invite everyone together? My friends and your friends are not going to have anything in common."

Ah. She's nervous about mixing our friends. "Sookie, they're all nice people…except for Pam, maybe." I expected her to laugh at that but I just earned her glare instead.

"Eric, it's not funny!" She bursts into tears and I jump up to hug her. She is way too stressed about this stupid party. I pull her into my shirt and she cries into it for a minute while I sway her back and forth. "If we're gonna be together then our friends have to mesh!" she whines.

"Says who?"

"Says me, Eric. I'm serious!"

"So if Amelia dislikes Pam, I can't do this anymore?" I ask, dipping my head to brush my lips across the soft skin of her neck. She tilts her head slightly, probably without even realizing it.

"Eric!" she says, but it sounds much less chiding than before.

"And if Tracy hates Rasul, then this is no longer for you?" I ask, taking her hand and placing it against the front of my pants. I'm not hard but she can still feel me.

"Eric!" This time it's a whisper as her head snaps up to find my eyes.

"What?" I keep her hand at my fly and thrust my hips a little. With her eyes on mine I waggle my eyebrows ridiculously and she breaks into laughter. I fucking love that sound.

"Fine. I'm ridiculous," she pouts. I pull her pouty face to mine with a hand on the back of her neck and kiss her deeply. Her hand is still on my pants so I'm sure she can feel what the kiss is doing to me. Just as she squeezes what she feels, Sander comes skipping down the stairs.

"Mmm-hmm, I guess I am not the only one getting it on in the living room!"

"This is the dining room, fucker," I say, laughing. Sookie jumps back and turns bright red. "What has you so happy you are skipping around?" I ask Sander to take the spot light off of Sookie.

"I'm not skipping around." He's smiling way too much right now.

"Oh yes you are. How was your lunch with Ahmed?"

He blushes and stammers and I actually feel kind of bad for the little fucker.

"I…I like him. I think he likes me but…"

"What, honey?" says Sookie, taking his hand and walking him into the living room. She turns back and gives me a mean look for teasing him. I didn't know that something was wrong and now I feel bad.

I follow them and sit in the chair across from them on the couch. "I'm sorry, Bror," I say softly. He smiles and nods.

"He's leaving. I mean, he's graduating and then moving to Europe. So I don't really want to get involved but I don't know that I can do just sex at this point in my life. But then when I see him…"

"You can't keep his dick out of your hands? I'm sorry!" I say when Sookie glares at me again. Sander laughs though.

"Basically."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"Not much. It's awkward…he doesn't know…I haven't told him about being an addict. I don't want to just blurt it out when I meet someone but I'm not sure when it would be considered hiding it if I didn't tell them. But if he's leaving…I just don't know."

Shit. I never thought of that. He's right and I have no advice for him because I can see his dilemma. He doesn't want to scare anybody but he also doesn't want to be accused of keeping secrets.

Sookie squeezes his hand and gives him a warm smile. She presses a kiss to his cheek and if I were not so secure in her love, I think that would have upset me. "Sander, you are not just your past. You have overcome so much and you should be proud of yourself. If you tell someone about your past and they judge you badly for it, that is their loss because you are a wonderful person. If you feel a connection to this man, then I say go for it. Be brave and have the conversation and see where it goes. If nothing happens, you've lost nothing, right? But if you don't even try, who knows what you could be throwing away."

Sander's eyes are shining when he looks briefly over at me and then he pulls her to hug him. "Thank you, Sookie. Eric is lucky to have you."

"Damn straight!" she says, which makes all of us laugh and clears some of the heaviness that has settled into the air. She gets up and goes back to the kitchen, probably to let us talk.

"She's right, you know?"

"I know. Maybe I'll talk to him tonight after the dinner. He said he wanted to come. Actually he said "Definitely. I will definitely be there.' That's good, right?"

"I think it is." I get up and sit next to him on the couch, putting my arm around him.

"Too bad we didn't have someone like Sookie when we were growing up," says Sander almost too quietly to hear.

"Yeah." I squeeze his shoulder and get up to find Sookie.

~~—~~—~~

When the doorbell rings, Sookie jumps. She hands Annika to me to finish dressing and then practically runs out of the room. I can hear the excited chatter of voices as I put Anni's pajamas on. On our way to the bathroom to brush her teeth, I look down the stairs and see Amelia and Tracy putting their coats in the closet. They look up and wave so I walk down with Anni.

"Have you met my daughter?" I ask as I stop in front of them.

"I saw her once when I dropped some of Sookie's stuff off but she was sick so she wasn't very happy."

"I've never seen her. She is darling. She looks just like you but darker. It's funny, I forget that Sookie is not her mom and I always expect her to be blonde."

Amelia nudges her and throws her a look and I hurry to say something so that Tracy doesn't feel bad.

"Yeah, I wish, right. I mean about Sookie, not the blonde hair." I laugh and they smile. "Well, this little princess is on her way to bed. Just coming down to say goodnight."

I walk away, leaving their whispers behind us and go find Sookie, who is in the kitchen uncorking a bottle of white wine.

"Hey, beautiful, everything good?" Mmm, she looks good enough to eat in her tight black pants.

"Yeah, just getting some wine for them. Is she ready for bed?"

"I just need to brush her teeth and then she'll be set. We came for a kiss." And maybe a grope of her ass.

"Oh, a kiss, huh? For which one of you?" She takes Anni and dances her around a little.

"Hmm, how about both of us?"

"I don't know, Anni. Should I kiss that daddy of yours? He does look mighty nice in that black sweater. And with his hair all pretty. No wonder you're so pretty with such a beauty for a daddy." She kisses Annika's cheek loudly, which makes her giggle and squirm. I take the baby and then put an arm around her to get my own kiss.

"My turn," I whisper at her lips. She hums and leans in but at the last second she puts her hand on my chin and turns my face to noisily kiss my cheek too.

She laughs and as soon as she opens her mouth, I wind my fingers into her hair and cover her mouth with my own. My hand goes down to squeeze her delectable ass. God I love these pants. "That's what I meant," I whisper as I pull back. Her eyes don't open right away so I turn with Anni and walk away, hearing her sigh just as I turn the corner from the kitchen.

By the time I get back downstairs, everyone is here and the party seems to be going well. Since nobody has noticed me, I stand back and watch everyone. Conversations and drinks are flowing, and the food seems to be well received. It's all appetizers tonight and there is a ton of food on trays around the living and dining rooms. Sookie did an awesome job co-hosting her first dinner party. Everyone seems to be mingling. Amelia is talking to Sander and Ahmed, Tracy is sitting next to Rasul and Sookie eating crab dip and laughing, and Pam is making eyes at Alcide. My house is filled with happy chitchat, smiling faces, and good friends. And I owe everything to Sookie.


	53. Chapter 53

**SOOKIE POV**

Eric comes storming through the door, startling both me and Annika, whom I'm watching this Saturday morning while the boys go to their appointment. I start to stand up, wondering what is going on but he takes off up the stairs without even a glance at me. Sander comes in a moment later with a weary look on his face. He closes the door softly and then leans against it with his eyes closed.

"Sander, what's going on?" I ask, walking up to him. Annika goes for the stairs, and Daddy, so I scoop her up. She starts to freak out, kicking and flailing and screaming. I hold her securely as I latch the gate that Eric did not and then put her down. I leave her crying at the gate and walk up to Sander, who is still just standing there by the door. I know what's wrong with Anni so I need to figure out her daddy.

"Ugh, I don't know, Sookie. Therapy sucks sometimes, yeah?"

"What happened?"

"Dr. Ludwig asked us to talk about our relationship, what it was like before Eric left, and after. It brought up a lot of shit. Eric is…He's guilty and angry…"

"At you?" I'm surprised by that because Eric has been so unwilling to upset Sander in any way. For him to be that angry that he's stomping around and slamming doors…I wonder what they talked about.

"At me…at himself…mostly at himself I think. I told him…well, the doctor wanted me to tell him, Sookie. You must understand that, I don't blame Eric. I'm not still mad about anything that happened between us. I was a coked out little shit when he left. I don't blame him for leaving. But he didn't want to hear it. The doctor insisted and then it was like it all came exploding out of him. All his hurt and anger and his feelings of betrayal. I think he was…I don't think he meant to tell me how much I hurt him. I don't think he meant to show me that much anger."

Sander looks like he's ready to cry so I move quickly to bring him to me for a hug. "And he's angry because he thinks he hurt you?"

He starts to sob against my shoulder, his slim body heaving in my arms. "I didn't mean for this to happen," he whines. He sounds so sad, so lost. I know he just wants Eric to be happy and I feel so sorry for him.

I lead him over to the couch and we sit, still with my arms wrapped around him. "Sander, I know how much you love him. I know you just want what's best for him. He's angry now, but he needs to face these things. He knew this would be hard and he wants to put in the work."

"I know but—"

"Let him work through it, Sander. He's going to be okay." I hope so anyway. I hope this foul mood of Eric's doesn't last too long. When a crash sounds from upstairs, I'm not so sure anymore.

Sander jumps and sits back, his eyes sullen and his posture slumped. He looks towards the stairs where Annika still stands. She has quieted but she still would like to get up the stairs to her daddy. Maybe I should let her and see if she can calm him down. Ultimately though, he needs to work through things on his own sometimes.

"Should I…Do you think he would talk to me? I tried on the way home. He ignored me…well, it was more that he was inside his own head for the whole drive."

"I think he's okay by himself for now, Sander. I'm sure he'll calm down soon." I hear Eric start to pace across the floor, his heavy footfalls crossing the ceiling above us. He didn't take off his shoes in his haste.

Annika hears it too and she starts to cry again so I go pick her up and take her into the kitchen for a snack. Once she is settled in her chair with a banana and some crackers, she calms down. As soon as I start to wonder if Eric is going to stop pacing and calm down too, I hear him move to the stairs.

I watch him walk down the stairs, his long strides and closed off features making it clear he is still upset. He looks briefly in my direction but continues to walk to the door of his condo.

"Eric? Are you leaving?" I ask, starting toward him. I didn't think he'd run out. I thought he was better at this by now.

"Yes, Sookie. I need to take a drive."

"Okay, but Annika was looking for you—"

"Sookie, I can't. Not right now. I need some time. Can you give me some time?" His voice is tight, his words clipped.

"Yeah," I say, giving him a little smile. "Yeah, we'll be fine. Go ahead." Well, I guess he didn't yell and he was able to tell me he needs space so that's good. I just wish he didn't feel so guilty and get so mad at himself.

As soon as Eric leaves, Sander gets up and walks slowly up the stairs. He's leaving tomorrow for several weeks and this is not such a good send-off. I'm sure Eric will come back soon. I hope Eric will come back soon.

"Hey, Sander," I call up the stairs. He stops and turns around, his face grim. "It'll be alright, darlin'. He'll be alright soon."

He stares down at me, his expression blank but his eyes defeated. He opens his mouth to speak but then seems to change his mind. He presses his lips into a small smile and turns around.

My heart hurts for him, for them both. They love each other so much but they each carry so much guilt over hurting the other. It's really a good thing for them to open up and talk about it but the rawness, the gaping wound of it, can sometimes be too much to bear.

* * *

><p><strong>ERIC POV<strong>

I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I just need to do something. I get into my car and just sit. Unfortunately I can't outrun my thoughts. I know Sookie is disappointed in me because I left. She tried not to show it but I can read it in her face. I haven't needed to leave in a long time.

Figuring that I might as well go somewhere instead of just sitting here, I start to drive aimlessly.

Fuck!

I knew this would be hard but this is not what I signed up for. Well, I don't actually know what I signed up for but…I don't think this is it. She asked me to tell Sander how I felt when I found out he was on drugs and what I felt when he lied to me. I didn't want to say. I didn't go to therapy so I could dump on Sander. I clammed up; I couldn't say it. But then they just kept on asking, kept on telling me it was alright to be angry, kept on coaxing until the words exploded out of my mouth. Words about how fucking disappointed I was, how fucking hard I tried to save him but nothing worked. I screamed out my anger and my pain and in those moments I was savagely angry at Sander. I wanted to rip his heart out like he ripped out mine when I had to let him go. I wanted to beat his face in and kick him as he crumbled to the floor. I wanted to grab him and hold him and dry his tears like I did when we were little. I wanted to grab his collar and shake him, scream in his face and fall at his feet. I wanted him to forgive me for leaving him but I couldn't ask. I could only vent my anger but inside my heart was splitting open, pain sloughing off to the surface of me.

By the time I was done screaming, it was time to go. The little bell chimed; I looked around. My hands were clenched, my breathing deep and rapid. Sander was staring up at me from his seat, his eyes wide and filled with tears. On his face was the shame that I put there, that I made him feel. Shame and regret that I caused.

I'm driving with no plan, nowhere to go and I end up at Pam's house. She's not home but I have a key so I let myself in and go to her guest room to sleep. I'm just so tired. I just want to be numb. I guess that's why Sander started taking drugs. Maybe that's what I should have done. Things probably wouldn't have hurt so much for so long.

After lying for ages on top of the covers in Pam's guest bed, I realize that sleep is not coming for me. It's fine; I have nightmares when I fall asleep so upset. I walk down the stairs into the living room and Pam is there reading on her couch.

"Hey," she says without looking up. "Sleep well?"

"Actually, no, I couldn't sleep."

"Hmm, are you going home now?" She still doesn't look at me. She knows me and I'm grateful that she knows I can't talk about the reason I let myself into her house to not sleep on her guest bed.

"Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Pam."

"No problem. I love you, Eric." She looks up then and right into my eyes and I can't hide from her steady gaze. She's never said that to me before—not so blatantly. I know she loves me but it feels good and painful all at once to hear it.

With a nod I turn around and walk out to my car. I drive home with the radio blasting 80's metal to take my mind off of everything.

I walk into my house and it seems empty. It's way too quiet. I go upstairs to find Sookie working at her desk in my room. She swept up the vase I threw against the wall and I'm ashamed that she had to. Annika is napping and I don't know where Sander is. When I walk in the door to my room, Sookie stands up and comes to hug me. I accept her embrace, dropping my head to her shoulder and holding her tightly against my body. She pets my hair and kisses my cheek, making sweet noises at me. I don't deserve her sweetness. I can't swallow it right now.

I lift my head and bring her lips to mine, kissing her hard. This is what I need. I press myself against her as I back her into the wall. She kisses me too but as her back hits the wall, she makes a noise and pulls away. I chase her mouth so she won't look at me and let my hands wander down her body, pulling at her clothes. I need her like this now.

"Eric," she whispers against my lips.

"No," I answer. "Just this." I reach down and pull off her sweater, immediately pulling her bra down to expose her. She moans as my lips close around her nipple. She puts her hands on my back, her fingers kneading my shoulder blades.

"Eric," she says again. She moves her hands to my cheeks to pull my face up. "Baby, please," she whispers. I take her lips with mine, even though I know that's not what she's pleading for.

I kiss her roughly, probably more roughly than I've ever kissed her. I push my tongue into her mouth and cup her breast with my hand, rubbing my thumb over her nipple. She mewls like a small animal and goes a little weak in the knees. I pull back and drop to my knees, ripping her pants and panties down all at once. My face is buried in her, drinking in her warm skin, as her fingers thread into my hair. I reach a hand up and grip her bottom, bringing her more fully to my mouth.

She gasps. "Eric, wait…" She tries to lift my head but I resist. "Eric, stop!" she says sharply.

I pull back and look up. Her eyes are frightened. Did I scare her? I just need her so much right now.

"Eric, what's the matter, baby? Just calm down. Talk to me."

"I don't want to talk. Please, Sookie, let me have you. I need you right now."

"Okay, but slow down. Let's go to the bed. Calm down, you're frantic."

"I can't calm down! I've been trying. Why do you think I was gone for so long? I need you."

"Okay, look, come lie with me." She bends down and pulls her panties up, stepping out of her jeans. She takes my hand and leads me to the bed, lying down and pulling me until I'm on top of her. "Come here," she whispers, pulling my head down to her chest. When I start to rock against her she reaches a hand down to still my hips. "Talk to me. You're okay, you don't need sex, you need to tell me what's going on in your head." She wraps her arms over my head and kisses my hair. "You're safe. Talk to me, baby."

I do feel safe in her arms and maybe that's why my control escapes me along with the tears I've been keeping at bay all afternoon.

"Oh, honey," she coos, stroking my hair back, wiping my cheeks, kissing my face. "Oh, Eric."

I cry for a while, silently cursing my weakness and thinking about Sookie's goodness and how she shouldn't always be having to pick me back up. I'm trying. I'm trying so hard to be who I'm supposed to be. I'm trying to get better. Trying to be a good father and a good boyfriend, a good brother, son, and friend. I want to be all these things. I want to be who they all need…but sometimes I just need to be Eric. Sometimes all these titles come crashing down around me and I'm left in the rubble, trying to dig my way out from under the expectations of everyone else. Sometimes I wish they would all just go away. Sometimes I don't want to be loved by anyone. I can't let anybody down if no one is counting on me.

"I'm so tired," is what I tell Sookie. If I tell her the rest, she'll be as disgusted with me as I am with myself.

"You can sleep, Eric. Sleep right here, I'm not going anywhere."

I sigh. That's not the kind of tired I am. Sleep won't cure the kind of tired I am. "Okay," I say anyway. I take a deep breath, soaking up her scent. She smells like sunshine feels so I close my eyes to bask in her. I even my breathing so she thinks I'm falling asleep and won't make me talk. I just can't talk anymore. Not today. My brother is leaving tomorrow and I won't see him for weeks. He's going to remember how angry I was with him and how I didn't want to hear his words to me. He's going to remember that I ignored his pleading for me to just tell him something, anything. And my silence—he'll remember that.

"I know you're not sleeping," whispers Sookie. "Your breathing is not the same. Why won't you talk to me, Eric?"

"I'm sick of talking!" I get up and sit on the edge of the bed with my back toward her. "I thought therapy was supposed to help me. This isn't helping!"

"Eric," she says slowly, coming to sit next to me. She puts her hand on my back. "It will help but it takes time. It's going to be hard when everything comes up. You're going to have to talk about uncomfortable things. Remember we talked about this? It will get better but you have to keep at it."

"I know…I just didn't think it'd be quite so hard. I didn't think it would follow me home like this. I just want…I just don't want to feel it for a while."

"I understand that. But listen, Eric." She turns my face to hers with a hand under my chin. "Sander is not mad, he's not upset about what you said at the appointment. He just doesn't want you to shut him out. He's afraid he upset you just like you're afraid you upset him."

"I did upset him! I said awful things to him. I told him how angry I was when he betrayed my trust, when he lied to me and stole from me. I told him how hurt I was by him. I told him how hard it was for me when I left him there. I left him there, Sookie! I left him and I was supposed to watch over him. He had nobody—nobody who really cared about him—and I left him!"

"Okay, but you know he doesn't blame you for that, right?"

"But he should!" I stand up and look at her. Fuck, I had forgotten that she's only wearing panties and I get distracted for a second as my eyes rake her body. My breathing speeds up until I shake it off and get back to the pain.

She must have noticed that my attention waned because she stands up and starts pulling on her clothes. "Well, he doesn't and it's time for you to stop blaming yourself. I mean it, Eric. It's not your fault."

"Okay," I tell her. It's not really okay but I don't want to talk about this anymore. I will think about what she's saying later when I'm not so tired.

She gives me a smirk and walks up to me, cupping my face in her warm hands. "I don't believe for a second it's that easy but I'll back off for now. Sander leaves tomorrow so let's be happy for tonight."

"Thank you, angel. Thank you so much. I promise to think about what you said." She leans up to press a soft kiss to my cheek, lingering slightly against my skin. I know she must be tired of consoling me; I'm really trying to make it so that she doesn't have to. "I'm not quitting."

I put on a happy face and squeeze her hand and she smiles up at me. We have plans to go out to dinner with Sander and Ahmed. Haley is coming to watch Annika so we can stay out late.

"I'm proud of you. You okay?" she asks me as she straightens her shirt and smoothes down the wrinkles from when it was crumpled on the floor.

"Yeah, of course." Too bad she can't iron me out like that.

* * *

><p><strong>SOOKIE POV<strong>

Well, I don't know how okay he is but I can't make him talk to me when he doesn't want to. The only reason I didn't freak out about him being gone for hours is because Pam called to tell me he was at her house. Apparently he drove all the way there and tried to take a nap but couldn't.

I understand his issue a little more since he did tell me something. It comes down to his guilt again. I don't know who made him feel like he has to shoulder the weight of everyone else but he does. I didn't know when I said it so long ago just how right I was that he beats himself up so much when he thinks he messed up. In this case, I don't know what he thinks he should have done. He couldn't put his life on hold for his brother. He had a great opportunity here and he had to take it. I'm hoping he'll come to realize that soon. And as for him telling Sander that he was hurt and angry, I think that's a good thing. Sander knew that he hurt his brother and he probably would like an opportunity to apologize—if Eric wanted to hear it. I've been cried on by both brothers today and I can't help feeling that it's what they both need—a safe soft place to vent all the hurt in their lives. A place where they won't be judged harshly for their tears or be thought of as weak because they need to cry. Eric still holds in his tears the way he was taught and they only come out when he is so overwhelmed by grief that he can't help it.

He still uses sex to forget, to feel strong and capable, and maybe that's okay sometimes. I don't really know if it's healthy or if it's a crutch or a necessary distraction. It didn't feel healthy today, though. He was so frenzied earlier, so panicked and keyed up. It just felt wrong to let him distract himself that way. He needed to let go and not just forget. I don't really know if anything I said helped him but I hope he will think about it. And at least he will keep seeing the therapist even while Sander is gone. It might be good for him to go alone and not have to worry about what Sander thinks of what he's saying. Sander was there to help it not be so scary to Eric at first, but maybe Eric will be better off going alone.

The car ride to the restaurant is awkward and tense. I feel like I'm holding two separate conversations with the Northman brothers. I told Eric to talk to Sander before we left but he said he didn't have time and that everything would be fine once we got there. I hope so.

"Sander," I say, turning around to look at him in the backseat. He usually takes the front because of his longer legs but he insisted I sit next to Eric. "Is Ahmed coming to the airport tomorrow?"

"Ah, no, I told him not to. We'll say goodbye tonight."

He's speaking softly, as if he doesn't want to disturb Eric but that's just silly. These boys need to move on from this right about now.

"How does he feel about you leaving for a month?"

"Well, considering that he'll be leaving just as I'm coming back…pretty damn bad."

"Oh no! Will you see each other at all?" I notice Eric looking back at Sander in the mirror and I know it upsets him that his brother met and lost this other man so quickly.

"I think there will be a week. But I don't know how long it will take for everything to be settled in Sweden so I might miss him."

"Well, if you do, could you visit him in Europe? Where will he be?"

"He's staying in Paris for the summer and then on to a little city on the coast of Portugal. I suppose I could visit him in France." He smiles—the first one I've seen today. "Yeah, that might work out."

I look at Eric and see that he's smiling too, glancing at his brother in the mirror.

Once we stop at the restaurant and the valet takes the car, I turn toward the boys. "Hug it out!" I order loudly. They both stare at me. "Look, I'm not dealing with this tonight. It's ridiculous. I'm not walking on eggshells around you two. Hug it out!"

I pull their arms together and they walk to each other. Eric is the first to open his arms and then Sander does. They embrace for a long time and I can hear whispered Swedish though I can't tell who's talking. Hopefully both of them. They laugh a little, bashfully, when they part and I join arms with each one and pull them along toward the restaurant.

"Good! Let's go have a good time, shall we?"

* * *

><p><strong>Hi lovely readers! Thanks so much for your continued support of my long winded story! I real appreciate your comments and alerts! Just wanted to say that this story won't be so sad for much longer. I am planning on a happier next chapter but sometimes my plans don't work out so don't hold me to that. But Sander should be back soon and Sookie graduates soon which means Jason will be in town and Jason and Eric are my favorite couple to write! LOL. <strong>

**Please don't forget to check out my wordpress site. I just finished Getting It On, which is 25 chapters long, and there are many other stories that are only over there. **

**Please let me know what you think of this chapter, thanks! :)**


	54. Chapter 54

**SOOKIE POV**

"Are you sure you want to come over? You don't have to if you're busy. I mean, I know just because your classes ended it doesn't mean you don't have a lot to do. I don't want you to stress—"

"Eric!" I say into the phone, cutting him off, "I'm sure I want to come over. I'm going for a drink with Amelia just to celebrate the end of term and then I'll be over for dinner, okay? I'm going to pretend like I have nothing pressing to do and just relax tonight and tomorrow and then on Saturday I will stress out again."

"Good…You deserve the break. You've been working so hard for the past two weeks…and I miss you," he says softly. I know he's been missing me along with missing his brother for these couple of weeks. I had papers to write and I'm still working on my final research project from my lab. I've barely seen Eric and I feel bad. When I do see him, it's just to eat and then study some more before I crash next to him on his bed. He's been so selfless in helping me relax with neck and shoulder rubs while I read or write. He kept telling me I didn't have to come over but the truth is, I don't do well without him either. I miss him when I don't see him for so long. So, I used his house as a quiet place to work and barely even talked to him the whole time. I feel kind of bad about it so I want to spend tonight and tomorrow with him as much as I can. He is taking me out tomorrow and I can't wait! We haven't had a date in a long time.

"I miss you too, baby. I will be there tonight when you get home from work and we can have a nice dinner and then snuggle on the couch or whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" he says in that deep seductive voice he uses on me.

"_Whatever_ you want," I purr into the phone.

His growl tells me how much he likes that idea.

By the time I get to Eric's house it's around five o'clock, which means I have about an hour to wait until he gets home. I like spending time with Annika by myself so I let Haley go home early and take Anni up the hill to the park, leaving a note for Eric telling him where we are.

Annika toddles up to every parent there, offering them wood chips as if they are the most precious gemstone. I worry that she's bothering people but everyone smiles at and talks to her. She really is so precious and outgoing.

"How old is she?" a young mother asks after Annika offers her a wood chip.

"Fourteen months," I answer as Anni presents me with a small stick.

"Die!" she says, meaning 'for you,' which is what Eric says every time he gives her something. Of course, he says it in Swedish so it sounds like 'for die." It's a little unfortunate. The woman looks at me as Anni keeps presenting leaves and sticks alongside a death wish for me.

"Her father speaks Swedish," I explain. "So she's saying 'you,' meaning 'for you.' It sounds bad, doesn't it?" I laugh.

The woman laughs too. "How very lucky for her that she knows another language, though. Does your husband speak English too?"

My husband. Which would make Anni my daughter. The thought makes my stomach knot up because of how much I wish it were true. I know I should correct this lady but I don't. I just let her assume because…well, just because I want to. "He speaks both, yes. But he wants her to learn Swedish so he speaks mostly Swedish to her. He was born there."

"Oh, a foreigner! How exciting! I've always been attracted to men with accents, but I married a Southie—that's not exactly what I used to dream about." She starts to mimic her husband, over-exaggerating the typical Boston accent—cah instead of car and so forth.

We're both laughing as I spot Eric coming up the hill to the playground. He's wearing his suit still; he must have come right when he read the note. I point him out, "Speak of the devil…there he is."

The woman stops laughing and stares at Eric for a second and then looks at me. "He looks like an angel," she whispers.

"He's got some of both in there," I say, giving her a wink. I don't know where that came from. Maybe I'm high on the thought that someone believes he's my husband.

"Oh, I'll bet," she says laughing.

I say goodbye to my new friend and she says she hopes to see me again. Her little guy seemed to get along well with Annika so that would be nice. I get up and scoop up Anni, who flails until I point to Eric. The she smiles and waves her arms for him and he takes her and swings her around before putting her on his hip. He grabs the back of my head for a very playground inappropriate kiss which I go right along with because, hell, if Eric Northman wants to kiss me in front of a crowd, I don't care one bit!

"I missed you," he breathes into my mouth before letting me go. I smooth my shirt, feeling very hot and bothered on this cool evening.

"I missed you too," I say, looking around. Three pairs of eyes snap quickly away. He puts his arm around my shoulder as we walk out of the playground fence. "Let's go home."

He looks at me with a funny expression on his face that I can't quiet decipher—surprise, joy, fear?

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing, I…nothing." He laughs nervously and I narrow my eyes. Is he flustered? "I'm fine," he says, grinning. He starts to laugh but I have no idea what's so funny. I shake my head and smile at his pretty face. Unexplained laughter is so much better than unexplained tears or anger. I'll take it!

After dinner, I ask if I can put Anni to bed since I've missed her and he takes a shower while I do. I get Anni to sleep quickly since the park wore her out and am back in Eric's room in time to watch him walk out of the bathroom naked. He comes out drying his hair, his bicep flexing, abs tight.

"How did I get so lucky that I get to look at you every single day?"

He jumps and then grins. "You scared me," he laughs.

"Sorry—"

"But I'm the lucky one. You are much more beautiful than me."

"Mmm, I don't know. Bring your naked butt over here and let me have a closer look."

He crosses the room in a few long strides and stands expectantly between my knees as I sit on his bed. His blue eyes sparkle down on me as I bring my lips slowly to his torso. I hold his slim hips, letting my hands skate over his gorgeous backside as my mouth descends over the dips and curves of his stomach. I have honestly never seen anyone as gorgeous. I reach up, skimming my hands over his slightly damp skin, rubbing my thumbs over his small nipples. He hisses and bucks his hips, drawing my attention to his erection, pulsing in need for me.

"Yes, this," I say, hovering over his manhood, "is absolutely breathtaking."

"Sookie," he whispers, putting his hand under my chin, "wait, I actually wanted to talk about something." He takes a step back and my eyebrows go up.

"Eric Northman refusing a blowjob?"

He laughs nervously again and I wonder if whatever he wants to talk about is the source of his nerves.

"Was that what you were going to do?" he asks, clearly at odds with himself. "No, later, okay? Can I have a raincheck?"

I smile up at him and wink. "Depends what you want to talk about."

He actually pales and his eyes widen. I've heard the term 'blanch,' before but I don't think I've ever seen anyone actually do it. I'm on my feet in an instant with his face in my hands.

"I'm playing, baby. Why are you so nervous? Go get some undies and come sit with me."

"Undies," he mutters, turning to do as I ask. "Undies," he says again as he opens his drawer to get some out. He picks some bright blue ones that I've come to realize are an exact replica of his tight little red ones. Damn, that's gonna be a distraction.

"Why do you keep saying, 'undies'?"

He bends and lifts a foot and I groan quietly. His little butt is just so edible. Especially encased in those tight little things.

"I don't know," he says over his shoulder. "It's kind of funny, right?"

"Is it?" I shrug, watching him pull the blue fabric up over his thighs and settle the waistband low on his hips. They don't quite go high enough and I want to kiss the small bit of his butt that's peeking out. Geez, I need to get laid.

He wiggles a little and then grunts, moving his hand to his front, no doubt trying to tame the beast into lying down. I groan quietly because I know the front view will be just as good as the view from behind. When he turns around, I reluctantly brings my eyes up to his face. He doesn't seem to realize what these little underwear do to me. I'm practically panting for him.

"Nobody I know says undies."

"Just your lovely girlfriend," I say, smiling and batting my eyelashes.

He gives me that TV smile that I love so much but then his face falls and I can see his nerves come back full force. I put my lust aside and reach my hand out for him.

"What, Eric? Come sit. You're scaring me a little. Just say what's on your mind."

He sits next to me but stares off into space. "Do you remember months ago when…well, I stupidly asked you…but, I mean, I guess I haven't been the best…you probably don't even…"

I take his hand in mine and reach out to turn his face so he'll look at me. "Take a breath, honey. Close your eyes and start again. Just tell me."

He does what I tell him and takes a breath. Closing his eyes, he starts talking, this time with a strong voice. "I love you, Sookie." He opens his eyes. "I love you so damn much." His hand comes to my face, his thumb caressing my bottom lip.

"I love you, too, baby," I say softly. He's making me nervous. He's just looking at me, rubbing his thumb back and forth along my lip.

"Do you want to move in with me?" he blurts.

I turn my body fully toward him. I know my mouth is agape for a split second before I break into a huge smile. "This made you so nervous?"

He gives me a sheepish smile. "I haven't exactly been the easiest boyfriend for a while. You've put up with so much from me and I thought that maybe you…you might not want to be stuck with me for so much time." His eyes are wide and earnest but how could he believe that?

"Are you kidding? When I could have this view every single day?" I gesture to his body in his little underwear and he smiles warmly at me.

"Do you want to?" He looks at me like a little boy waiting for a prize. Hope fills his eyes bringing tears to my own.

"You bet I do!"

He's up and spinning me in his arms before my next breath. We're both laughing as we fall onto the bed, still in each other's arms. We scoot to the middle of the bed and kiss until my lips hurt, neither of our hands wandering lower than the other's face and neck. I can feel Eric against my thigh but he's ignoring it so I am too. We pull back and just look at each other. I trace my fingertips over his brow and curve them over his face—his cheekbone, his dimpled chin, his full bottom lip. He caresses my face with equal adoration.

"You're an excellent boyfriend," I whisper to him.

He lowers his eyes and my stomach clenches. He doesn't believe he is. "I'm always letting you down. I'm never what you deserve," he says quietly.

"That's just not true, Eric. You do so much for me. You rubbed my shoulders without wanting anything in return while I was studying. You let me stay up without complaining that you wanted me to come sleep next to you. You made sure I ate when I wanted to skip meals. And when I fell asleep in your guest bed, you crawled in next to me without a word. You never once made me feel bad about all the work I was doing and all the time I wasn't spending with you."

He stares at me silently for a few seconds and I think that maybe I got through to him but then his eyes take on that haunted look they get so often. My heart falls right into my stomach. "I'm not handling myself very well with the therapy. I scared you—"

"No," I say, cutting him off. "You didn't. Well, I was scared _for_ you not _of_ you. I knew you weren't in a good place and you wouldn't have liked yourself if I didn't stop it. But I understand, honey."

"But you shouldn't have to deal with things like that. You deserve a lover who is strong and stable and can give you what you want."

"And what do I want that you don't give me?"

"Someone you can count on," he says and I can tell that he actually believes that he's not reliable.

"Eric Northman," I say, shocked by his opinion of himself, "do you really believe that I can't count on you? That you would ever let me down in a significant way? You are one of the most loyal and honorable people I have ever known. If it's within your power to be there for a loved one, you are there. No, baby, that's just not true in the slightest. Why do you think so many people love you?"

He rolls onto his back and sighs. "Sometimes I wish they didn't," he whispers.

I lean up to him so I can see his face. "Why would you wish that, honey? Love is a good thing."

He turns away from me and I take the hint that he doesn't want to be looked at right now. I lie down and put my hand on his warm back in support. "If I didn't have so many people who loved me, I wouldn't have so many people to disappoint."

Wow. That is a very depressing attitude about love. I know it stems from his belief that he is never good enough. Which comes from his father, whose love he worked so hard to earn as a boy. But love is not earned, it's freely given.

"Eric, I think you have it backward. The more people who love you, truly love you, the more support you have when you need to be picked back up. The more love you have, the more people you have to help carry your burdens. You don't need to shoulder everything by yourself, Eric. I want to help you, Sander wants to help you, Pam…everyone who loves you, baby. I love you Eric, and I will love you whether you are standing tall and happy or lying crumpled on the ground. I want nothing from you that you can't give. I just want you, Eric." I caress his soft hair and let my hand wander down his back, over the curve of his spine and back up in a soothing circuit. His shoulders relax as his breath becomes even and soon I realize he's asleep, which is probably just what he needs.

I sigh and sit up to kiss his temple, running a hand down his arm. He is such a caring man, always worried about the people he loves, always trying to be exactly what everyone needs him to be. Maybe I put too much pressure on him to get better. Does he feel like he's disappointing me when things are hard for him? Maybe he needs to hear from me how proud I am of him and how much he's exactly what I need just by being himself. I'm going to make sure to tell him more often.

I get up feeling extremely angry at his father for being the first person to teach him about disappointing someone you love. In that case, sweet little Eric earned his father's disapproval by simply being himself. What a heartbreaking first lesson in love. I ache for the tender child he was; that boy was ground down until he broke apart under his father's cruelty. And still, he cared for Sander as best he could. He thinks he constantly lets down so many people when he tries so hard for those he loves. Pam's words from so long ago flit through my mind. She told me he is the best man she knows but he doesn't know it. How utterly true that is…and how utterly tragic.

I sit mindlessly in front of the TV until I hear Eric get up and then I am up the stairs so fast because the last time he fell asleep on me and I left him, he thoroughly freaked out.

"Eric? Hey," I whisper. He comes back from the bathroom and gets back into bed.

"Will you stay with me?" he asks softly. His eyes are wide and vulnerable and he looks so young in the low light of his moonlit room.

"Of course, baby." I climb in next to him and pull him into my arms, resting my cheek on his silky hair and stroking my hand down his stubbly face. My chest warms with love for him. "You know, I couldn't ask for a better man to share my life with, Eric. I can't wait to move in with you."

There is a pause in which I wonder if he will negate what I said like he usually does. But when he whispers, "Thank you, angel," I gain a little more hope that maybe he's starting to shake off those demons his father shackled him with so long ago.

~~—~~—~~

"So, Mr. Northman, are you finished with your lunch?"

"Hmm, maybe I was going to eat you next," he growls, giving me sex eyes across his office desk.

"Ah ah ah, Mr. Northman, what would Pam think? Besides…I had planned on having _you_ for dessert."

I watch his eyes dilate as he registers my words. Months ago I told him on the phone what I wanted to do to him as he sits in his office chair and today I plan to do it. What else do I have to do today but bring pleasure to my precious boy?

"Sookie," he whispers. He swallows hard and shifts the knot of his tie. I love him in suits. He is absolutely delicious all dressed up. "What about Pam?"

I smirk at him the way he always smirks at me. "I guess you'll have to be quiet, won't you?"

He narrows his eyes but he can't help his smile. He leans back in his chair as I come around his desk to kiss him. After a few minutes of kissing that ends up with me straddling Eric in his huge chair, I stand up and put my hand on his zipper. I could feel him get hard right away and I'm sure that when I get him out of his pants, he will be dripping wet. When I unzip him and open his pants, I can see the pink head of his cock sticking up over his boxers. He moans before I even touch him and I laugh.

"Eager, are we?"

"Sookie, it's been so long. I think I'm gonna die."

"It's been like ten days, you dork," I laugh. He pouts playfully and I smile and caress his face. I'm sure he wants my hands a little south of here. "I'm sorry for neglecting you, baby. Things will be much better after next week." I tap his thigh and he lifts so I can pull his pants and underwear down.

"I know. Really, I'm okay. I know you're busy with finals and every—ah!"

I pull my mouth off of him and say, "shhh," while chuckling. I surprised him by devouring him while he was talking. I dive back down and he gasps.

"Fuck!" he whispers, gripping the arms of his chair with white knuckled fists. His hips come up as his back bows away from his chair.

I do exactly what I told him I would and by the time I'm done he is a panting, sweating mess. I push his hair back from his face and stand up to kiss him briefly. His head rests against his chair as he pants with his eyes closed.

"Goddamn," he whispers. He clears his throat and opens his eyes. "You're amazing."

"Of course I am." I smile and bend to pull up his pants, which he then fastens. He smiles and starts to stand up but I push my hand against his chest and then bend down to kiss him quickly. "When I move in, after graduation when I have nothing to do, just think—you could wake up to that everyday."

His eyes widen and I can see his jaw flex as he imagines what I'm saying to him. I see the exact moment the thought enters his head that he wants more sex right now. Unfortunately, I need to go. I'm relieving Haley because she will be back tonight so Eric and I can go out.

"I have to go, Eric," I say to stop his train of thought. "I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah, tonight. I'll be home early so we can get to the game on time. Your friends are coming after?"

"Yup! I'm excited! I've never been to a Red Sox game!" I'm also excited that Pam, Amelia, and Tracy, who met at the dinner party, got along so well and will be meeting us after to go out. I don't know why I was so worried about our friends meshing.

"Good! It'll be fun. Thanks for…this," he says, gesturing to his body with a smile.

I laugh and kiss him one more time, tangling my fingers in his damp hair and licking his mouth. I pull his bottom lip between my teeth and listen to his growl in response.

"Bye, baby," I coo as I walk to the door, leaving him with his head back and his chest heaving.

I pass Pam on the way out and give her a wink. "See you tonight! You might want to give him a few minutes," I say and am escorted out by Pam's tinkling laughter.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading, everyone! Don't forget to check out my wordpress! I posted a one-shot yesterday and have a couple of continuing stories on there. Love you guys, thanks!<strong>


	55. Chapter 55

**ERIC POV**

"Sander answered my letter," I tell Dr. Ludwig. She's gotta be under five feet tall and I feel like a giant even sitting across from her. Then again, I pretty much always feel like a giant.

"And what did you think about his response?"

"It was…it made me feel better. It was good." At first I didn't want to do what she suggested and write to my brother about how I was feeling. But when I started writing, words just came pouring out onto the page and after a day to think it over, I decided to send it. He wrote me back and I already sent another one off. It's like pen pals except we discuss some heavy topics. I like it, though.

She smiles at me. "Good. And your mother? Have you thought about whether you want to write to her?"

I look at her for a minute while I gather my thoughts. She's used to me by now and she just waits. She used to take my silence to mean I wasn't going to answer her and she'd move on. I do want to answer, though…it just takes me a while. I managed to avoid talking to my mother on the phone the whole time Sander was here. He stopped asking after it became clear that I really just couldn't do it.

"I, uh, I've started the letter about a dozen times since you told me I should write to her. I've gotten as far as 'Dear Mamma.' I just start thinking and I can't figure out what to actually put down."

"Well, you've thought about it. It sounds like it's something you'd like to do since you started so many times. And you know you don't have to send anything you write. How about for this next week you just write down anything you think of about your mother? Don't worry if it sounds like a letter, this one you won't send. Does that sound doable?"

"Yes, I think I can do that."

"Good, anything else you'd like to discuss in the remaining time?"

"No…well, I asked my girlfriend to move in with me. She said yes." I know I'm smiling like an idiot but I can't help it. Sookie makes me so damn happy.

"And that makes you happy," she muses with a small smile.

"Yes."

"Good. Is there anything you'd like to discuss about it?"

"No…I…What if she gets sick of me? When I moved in with Sophie I thought things were good until she left me. What if Sookie decides to leave me too? What if I just can't live with anybody?" Shit. I didn't realize I thought that way. God, I'm fucking pathetic.

"Do you think that's true? And if you do think she will get sick of you, would you rather she not move in?"

"What? Hell no! I mean, I don't know if it's true. I don't think I'm hard to live with. I'm not clingy or messy, I cook and clean, I'm considerate. I don't think she'll get sick of me and I could never get sick of her. She's…she's amazing. She's nothing like Sophie."

I look up at the doctor and she's just smiling at me. Yeah, I guess I answered my own questions.

"So, I will see you next week then if there's nothing else. Try writing about your mother and we can talk about it next time. Great to see you as always, Eric."

We stand up and I walk out after saying goodbye. I find myself fighting the urge to hug this woman more and more. At first I hated her but things are going better now and I really think this is helping.

~~—~~—~~

After Sookie's incredible lunch time visit, I keep daydreaming about what it will be like when she moves in and it's nearly four o'clock before I realize I've gotten nothing done for the last three hours. I know it won't really be a magical time of daily blow jobs and sex all over the house, but a guy can dream, right? When I notice that I've read the same paragraph of my brief three times and I still have no idea what it says, I decide to call it quits for the day and go home to spend some time with Sookie and Anni before we go out.

I've been missing Sookie for a while now. She's been there at home with me a lot, but she's been so busy we haven't talked much. The orgasm I just had is the first not by my own hand in almost two weeks. I don't think we've gone that long since we started having sex. And her mouth is great but I crave the intimacy of her body next to mine, her warm skin touching mine while I make her feel like she's going to explode. I love it when she kisses me while I push myself into her heat. She always gasps just a little and not only is it the best ego boost, but I get to slip my tongue into her mouth and taste her, too. Fuck, I'm making myself hard and I have to walk out of the building still.

I think cooling thoughts while I gather my things and stuff everything into my briefcase. On the way out I tell Pam I'll see her tonight.

"Alcide wants to come," she says. She rolls her eyes but the smile she can't hide tells me she actually likes that idea.

"Are you and Alcide serious?" I know Sookie says I'm oblivious to stuff like this but even I notice the electricity zinging between them when they're together.

"I don't know! Ah! He makes me crazy; he makes my blood boil. But…I like him. Ugh, that's so disgusting."

I laugh and walk over to her desk to hug her. "Can't wait until you pop out little Herveauxs," I say into her ear. She tries to get out of my grasp but I just hold her tighter. I know she wants to smack me right now.

"Eric Northman, you let go of me!" She's trying not to laugh. I squeeze her one last time and then let her go and walk quickly away before she can hit me. I look back over my shoulder to see her glaring at me.

"You know it's true," I call before I walk out the door to her office. She makes a huffing noise at me but I just smile as I walk to the elevator.

On the way home, I stop to get Sookie some flowers- bright yellow because she is the light in my day. When I walk in she's at the table with Annika and they're making pictures with markers. Anni is covered in green marker.

"Oh my god, Sookie!" I say. "Did she eat that? Should she have that much marker all over her? Isn't that toxic?"

"Relax, Daddy," she says. "They're for kids, she'll be fine. She's having fun, look!"

I look at Anni's little smiling face as she punches the marker into the paper over and over and blow out a breath. "Sorry. Markers are new for me. I'm sorry. I know you take good care of her."

"It's okay." She stands up to hug me and I pull the flowers from behind my back. "Are those for me?" She blushes and it takes everything in me not to push her against the wall.

"For you, angel," I whisper at her lips.

"Thank you, baby. You're a good man."

"The best," I agree.

"And so humble."

"The humblest."

"Mmm, I don't think that's a word."

"Well, I never said I was very good at English," I laugh. "I am a Swede you know!"

"Yes," she says, running her hand down my long body, "a very beautiful one, too."

"And you are a beautiful American," I purr. I can feel myself getting hard again but this is not a good time.

Sookie takes the flowers and goes back over to sit with Anni, who is now sucking on the purple marker. I try not to freak out until Sookie takes it away from her. Anni starts to yell but Sookie hands her another marker and directs her hand to the paper. Once she's scribbling away, Sookie looks back up at me. She is perfect. The perfect girlfriend, the perfect mom to my baby.

"Dig," says Anni, holding the red marker out to me. "Dig, Dada!"

"You want me to color with you, princess?" I ask her in Swedish.

"Dig!" she says again.

I take off my suit jacket, hanging it over the back of my chair before I sit down with them and Sookie hands me a piece of paper. I take the marker Anni is offering and start to draw. I haven't drawn anything in ages and it shows.

"You know, at the park yesterday Anni kept giving me sticks and telling me 'for you,' in Swedish. I had to explain to the woman sitting next to me that she wasn't wishing death upon me."

I start to laugh, kissing Anni's head because she is so fucking cute.

"I told the lady that her daddy speaks Swedish and she assumed you were my husband…I didn't correct her."

I look over at Sookie and her cheeks are flaming red but her eyes are so intense. I walk over and crouch down in front of her to put us on the same level. "That's okay, angel. I wish it were true. It will be true one day, right?"

"I hope so," she says softly. I lean in to kiss her lips and as I pull back, a marker hits the back of my head.

"Hey!" I laugh, turning to Annika. "Did you get jealous?"

"Anni, markers are for coloring. Are you all done?" says Sookie and I realize I should stop laughing at all the naughty things Anni does.

"Sorry," I say, "She's so cute I just always laugh."

She smiles at me as I stand up and pick up my baby girl. "You're trying, it's okay."

I bring Anni over to the sink to try and wash her up and Sookie follows with the flowers. She puts them in some water and then watches me and Anni for a second.

"Let me get you a baby wipe," she says when Anni won't hold still so I can wash her face.

"Thanks!" I say. "Don't you love her?" I ask Annika when Sookie leaves. "She takes the best care of you. Daddy would have never gotten you markers, you lucky girl."

"Dada!" says Anni, patting my face. When Sookie comes back I tell her thank you and then wipe Annika's face. She squirms and complains but finally she looks less like a leprechaun so I put her down to toddle off and play.

"Sookie, I was thinking," I say. She turns to me with a smile.

"Wow, alert the media!" She winks at me and I growl playfully.

"Oh, you're asking for it!" I say, stalking toward her. She shrieks and turns to run and it sets off some type of predator response in me, making me instantly hard. I grab her with my long arms and pull her back into my body.

She gasps when I rock my hips into her. "Is that what I asked for Mr. Northman?" she says breathlessly.

"I don't know, but this is what I want to give you," I tell her. It's the truth but I did have something to talk to her about. But…this is nice too. Maybe the conversation can wait. When I feel Annika at my pant leg, I clear my head of sexy thoughts and back up from Sookie. I swing Anni up into my arms and smile at my angel that looks a little bit frustrated. Welcome to my world.

"God I want you," she breathes.

"Later, angel. I promise it will be so good later. But listen, I did want to say something. Hopefully I can get it out without you groping me this time." I wink as she opens her mouth to talk. "Kidding! But I had a thought about Annika. I know we corrected her before when she called you mama, but do you think the next time she does it, we could…_not_ correct her? Just let her call you that if she wants?"

"Let her call me Mama?" I can't tell how she feels about that. Her face is very blank. That's probably not good.

"I mean, if you don't want to, that's fine. I just thought that you do so much for—"

"I want to! I want her to!" she says with a huge smile on her face.

"You do?" I didn't realize how anxious I was about this until the relief replacing the dread feels so damn good.

"Yes, I love you both so much, Eric. _So_ much and I want to be part of your family." Tears are visible in her eyes so I fold her into my chest and inhale her sweet scent.

"You have been part of this family for a long time," I whisper.

"Thanks, Eric," she whispers back.

~~—~~—~~

The Red Sox lost the game but I don't really give a shit about baseball so I don't care either way. Sookie seems bummed though, but I know she will cheer right up once we get to Jillian's.

We're meeting some of her friends and some of mine…which I guess are her friends now too. It should be fun. There are three floors to hit at this place—bowling, pool, and dancing—and we can go to any of them that we want. We are set to meet everyone on the second floor for pool first.

"Thanks for the game, Eric," she says as we wait. "Too bad they lost."

"Yeah, it's always more fun when your team wins. I'll have to take you to a soccer match in Sweden. Things sometimes get crazy. There's singing and drinking and so much yelling. I think you would like it. It's fun!"

"I really would love to see your home country, meet your friends, your family," she says. Then she looks a little uncomfortable because my family is a sore subject.

"It's okay. I know. I'd like you to meet them, too. I'm supposed to write a letter to my mom," I volunteer. I haven't really talked about therapy for these couple of weeks and she hasn't asked.

"Oh?" she says.

"Yeah…It's not that easy."

"That's okay," she says. She squeezes my hand and smiles at me.

"It's not to send…it's just to get my feelings out."

"Oh, I've done that before. It helped me but sometimes it's hard."

"Yeah, the letters to Sander are much easier."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out. You've been doing so well."

"Thanks, angel," I say. That's nice to hear. I spot Alcide since he's a tall bastard like me and trailing behind him is Pam in a skintight black dress with heels that could kill a person. I think that's maybe why Alcide is so nice to her. Hell, I'm scared of her too sometimes.

"Hey Sook," he says, giving my girlfriend a kiss on the cheek. He's lucky I like him so much.

"Hi, handsome," she says, giving him a big smile. Yeah, he's lucky I like him a little.

"Hey, man, how was the game? Next time I'm coming to the game instead of this place," he says looking around.

"Red Sox lost. Next time I'll let you go with Sookie. I think she liked it more than I did."

Sookie winks at him and I rethink that dumb idea. "It was fun!" she says.

"Sookie, I have shoes for you. Amelia is bringing the dress."

"Thanks, Pammy!" she says, giving her a quick hug. Sookie is in a really good mood and it's making me smile. She's been so stressed out lately and I'm glad she took these two days off to relax before finals. Of course, the two beers she had at the game could be partly responsible for her state of mind. Last time she was drunk I didn't get to enjoy it since it was because of that cum stain, Bill. If she gets drunk tonight, I'm going to make sure to have fun with it.

"Are you changing?" I ask. She's wearing the dark red baseball T and the adorable Chucks that I first saw her in and I kinda like this cute outfit.

"You'll like it better," she says as if she read my mind. "I promise." She winks at me and I grin. Flirty Sookie is so fun. As long as it's me she's flirting with, of course.

As soon as Amelia and Tracy get here, all the girls run off into the bathroom so Sookie can change. I look down at my black jeans and grey v-neck. This is as dressy as I'm going to get tonight. Alcide has on a button up shirt but he's probably just trying to impress Pam.

"Hey, Alcide, is this the point when I ask you what your intentions are with Pam?"

He actually looks startled. "I, um…funny," he says, narrowing his eyes at me.

"No, I'm serious. I think she really likes you and that's…rare. Don't fuck her around, alright?" I am fully aware that I got mad when Sookie told me that Pam said the same thing to her about me. But, c'mon, this is a best friend's job.

He raises his hands in surrender. "I would never. I like her a lot. I don't actually know how she feels about me, though. Do you think she really likes me? Why do you say that?"

"Look, man, I'm not passing notes like a grade schooler. I'm just telling you what I think. I just don't want to have to kick your ass." I grin at him so he knows I'm kidding. Which I am…kind of.

"I'd mop the fucking floor with you, Viking."

"Fuck you, grizzly."

We're both laughing when Sookie and the others come back out and mine immediately stops when I look at her. Oh, holy fucking shit! I'm going to be hiding my hard-on all fucking night. Her lips are so red, I can't stop staring at them. Her dress is short, shiny, and strapless and a thousand things fly through my head about what I want to do to her right now. My body is screaming to let me.

I walk right up to her and put an arm around her waist, pulling her into my body. "Sookie, I want to fuck you so fucking hard right now," I breathe into her ear. Her soft moan makes my dick twitch against her stomach.

"Hey cowboy, behave yourself. We're in public." She smiles up at me, her hand on my neck, stroking my earlobe.

I shudder and her smile grows bigger. "There has to be a bathroom in here somewhere," I say.

"Alright, back away from her, Eric. I am not watching you two fuck right now."

Sookie turns bright pink, which just serves to make her look even more delicious and makes my dick twitch again. I turn my head toward Pam and give her a 'fuck you,' look, which makes her laugh.

Tracy pipes up with, "You should see them dance. Talk about fucking in public. I don't even like men and I was ready to jump him…or her."

"Tracy!" say Amelia and Sookie at the same time.

I back away laughing and we all look around to find a pool table. Friday night is pretty busy in this place so we end up waiting about fifteen minutes for one to clear. I did not enjoy the way jock boy and his sweaty friends were looking at my girl while we stood around. I'm going to have to be right behind her when she bends over the table in this little dress she has on. Which, of course, presents another problem. Namely, in my pants.

After a round of pool that Pam, Sookie, and Amelia win—and only because none of them would stop touching their significant other while we tried to make our shots—we head down to the next level for the club. Sookie is another drink in—a GnT—and is even more bubbly and delightful. I just want her to relax, so it makes me happy. I've had beer and water all night because things happen when I get drunk and this is the night for Sookie to unwind, not look after me.

"You're such a cheater," I tell her as we make our way down to the club to dance.

"Aw, don't pout just because your hands on me didn't make me flub my shot."

"Well, I only leaned into you. You ran your hands over my ass and my nipples. I couldn't concentrate because I was trying not to get a hard-on in front of everyone," I whisper in her ear.

She laughs. "Poor you. I don't know how you guys can stand those things sometimes. They give everything away."

"You don't seem to complain when this 'thing' is inside you, making you scream."

I wink at her when she sort of loses her balance for a second and has to clutch my arm, muttering something about me being a cocky bastard. I can accept that.

We dance to a couple songs before the heat of so many bodies on the dance floor sends me to the bar for another couple of drinks. Sookie is saving a small lounge area for us to sit while I carry the glasses back to her. Halfway there some guy comes up to her and I can tell she's doing fine so I don't get all crazy and rush over to her or anything. By the time I get there, though, she is standing up and clearly uncomfortable so I put the drinks down and then put my hand on the guy's shoulder so he'll get the clue and move along.

"What the?" he sputters, turning toward me.

"This is my girlfriend, pal. Move along now. Can't you tell she's not interested in you?"

"Yeah, well, this is my friend and I was just talking to her." He turns back to look at her. "I never thought you'd go for the neanderthal type, Sookie."

My fists clench as Amelia and Tracy suddenly appear by my side looking worried.

"I am not your friend, Bill. When are you going to get that? I have no interest in talking to you. You need to leave!" Bill? This mother fucker is Bill? Okay, deep breath. Try not to murder him.

"Why? Because your giant brute of a boyfriend says you can't talk to me? Still a little country bumpkin, I see. When are you gonna grow up?"

He is much stupider than I thought, to talk to her that way in front of me. My hands clench into fists at my side and it's only Amelia's touch on my arm that stops me from swinging at this shithead in front of me. I look at Sookie and she doesn't seem bothered by what he said. She looks more pissed off than I have ever seen her so I decide to let her get her say while I seethe silently.

"William Compton, I _am_ grown up, which is more than I can say for you! Do you really believe in that deluded over-coiffed head of yours that I would want anything to do with you after the way you treated me? You are even stupider than I thought! Leave me the fuck alone before I let my 'giant brute' of a boyfriend do what I can tell is running through his mind!"

Bill looks briefly at me before turning back to Sookie. I notice Pam and Alcide standing to my side and I'm sure Bill doesn't want to take on all of us at the same time. He backs up a step and I move out of his way so he can leave. Wise choice because I am ready to kill him.

"Fine," he sneers, "You always were a fucking cunt anyway."

Oh fuck. I'm going to jail tonight because I know I'll get arrested when I beat this dickwad to within an inch of his life right here in this club.

"What the fuck did you just say, you piece of shit?" I growl at him as he attempts to walk away. I grab his starched shirt collar and stop him in his tracks. His head whips around to look at me, his eyes wide in terror. What the hell did he think was going to happen if he said something like that to my girlfriend?

"Eric," says Alcide, stepping up to my side. He puts his hand on my upper arm and gets in my face.

"Get the fuck out of my face, Alcide. I can handle this douchebag."

"I know you can, man. That's what I'm afraid of. Look around, Eric. You're starting to draw a crowd. They're gonna kick us out of here if you don't stop and don't you want Sookie to have a nice night? Let him go, Eric."

I glance left and right and see a dozen pairs of eyes focused on me. I sigh and bring my face right up to Bill's ear. "This is the only free pass you get, cocksucker. If I ever see you again, you'd better start running because if I catch you, I. Will. Hurt you. Clear?"

"Y-yes. Clear. Clear, man! I'm sorry!"

I let him go with a jerk to my arm, making him stumble and almost fall as he scrambles away. To my surprise Alcide goes after him and catches him when he's halfway out the door. He puts his arm around Bill's neck and leans in, obviously talking to him for a few seconds.

I look at Sookie as Alcide is on his way back and walk over to put my arm around her. "I'm so sorry that happened, Sookie. Don't let him ruin your night, okay?" Rage is still just under the surface of my skin, bursting to get out, but I am controlling it only because I want to make sure Sookie is okay.

"I'm okay, Eric. I'm pissed but somehow between you and Alcide, I don't think he'll be bothering me again."

Alcide comes back and grabs my beer, chugging half the contents in a few gulps. I don't even care; he can have it.

"What did you say to him, Alcide?" says Pam, echoing my thoughts exactly.

He wipes the back of his hand over his mouth and grins. "I told him I ain't as citified as Eric here and that if I saw him again tonight anywhere in this giant fucking place, he was gonna get a taste of country justice. He's from the South, I could hear it in his voice. He knows exactly what I'm talkin' about and I think he messed his pants over it."

Pam walks up and runs her hands all over his chest. "You have never been hotter to me. I might just have to find a dark corner to blow your mind, country boy."

I try to ignore their loud kisses and moans and concentrate on Sookie. I'm not sure that I know what country justice is and I'm not sure I want to know but I'm glad Sookie seems okay.

"Dance with me?" I ask, tipping her chin up to look into her eyes.

"Of course, darlin'." She smiles and lets me lead her to the dance floor, where I hold her tight and say a silent prayer of thanks for this beautiful woman in my arms and the good friends who stopped me from doing something really stupid in my anger. Sookie is right about friends and family—people who love me—they do have my back and help me out when I need it, even if what I need is help scaring the douchebag ex-boyfriend of my lovely girlfriend.


	56. Chapter 56

**SOOKIE**

As soon as Haley leaves and Eric shuts the door, he turns to me with a scary intensity in his eyes. His hands were all over me in the cab, his erection obvious for the entire drive.

"Hey…hey," I say to him as he starts to walk toward me. It feels like he's stalking me and he's making me a little bit nervous. I put my hand out and he freezes.

"You don't want me?" he asks. His chest heaves with his breaths and I realize that I have never seen him this worked up, except for possibly that weird time he came back from therapy all messed up.

"I want you," I say and he immediately starts for me again. "I just…I need it slow tonight…please?" Seeing Bill took all the alcohol right out of my system and I can't stop feeling a little vulnerable and slightly sad. I just can't believe I gave myself to such an asshole. I am so stupid.

He stops again and tilts his head to look at me. If he seemed like a lion stalking its prey before, now he seems like a little confused puppy. Okay, big confused puppy.

"Are you okay?" he asks. All the intensity leaves his eyes, to be replaced by sweet concern for me.

"It's just…Bill," I say and out of nowhere I'm hit with a flood of tears. His eyes go from concern, to white hot rage, and then back to concern in the space of a few seconds and I would laugh if I could. "I'm sorry," I blubber.

His arms are around me as soon as he's able and he pulls me into his warm chest, petting my hair as he whispers into my ear. "Shh, angel. It's okay. You don't need to be sorry."

He keeps petting my hair as he leads me slowly up the stairs and into his bedroom. He just stands with me in his arms, swaying us softly as he hums. I realize I haven't heard his deep humming in a long time and I missed it. I think this is his go to when he doesn't know what else to do, which hasn't been the case in a while. Or maybe he just knows I like it.

I close my eyes and breathe in and out to the rhythm of his slow melody and am soothed by the vibrations moving through his chest. I sigh and squeeze him tighter. I really thought he was going to kill Bill tonight and I'm so glad he could restrain himself so we didn't have to deal with all that. This man is so perfect and I feel bad that he wants to have sex and here I am crying.

"I'm sorry," I say again as fresh tears stream down my cheeks.

He tilts my chin up to meet his gentle eyes. "Nonsense, Sookie. I'm happy to be here for you."

My heart melts further at his words. "But we were supposed to have good sex," I whine. I sound completely pathetic but he told me everything he wanted to do to me while we sat in the cab and I really wanted all of it.

"No, baby," he whispers, kissing my cheek. Huh, he's never called me baby before. I like it. "It's okay. Let me take care of you. I'll make you feel better."

He leads me over to the bed when I give him a watery smile and helps me to lie down near the edge. He slips my shoes off and places them on the floor and then takes my earrings out. I roll a little so he can unzip my dress and then he slips that off too. I can see his eyes darken when he looks at me but he smiles into my eyes and brushes my hair from my forehead before kissing it.

I watch as he quickly sheds his clothes and drops them onto the floor. He actually drapes my dress nicely on his chair, which makes me smile. He crawls over me and lies down, pulling me toward his warm chest.

And we just lie together. And it's the best thing I have felt in so long. He keeps his lips against my forehead and holds me tightly in his strong arms and my sadness starts to slip away. Finding Eric is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I need to think about my future with him, not my past with Bill.

After a few minutes, his fingertips start to trail up and down my spine, causing me to get goosebumps and my back to arch everywhere he touches. I hear him breathe out a laugh when I squeak a little. He's tickling me.

Soon his fingers trail lower and he lightly caresses my bottom and the tops of my thighs. This tickles too but it's also sending heat into my belly. I notice him starting to get hard so I know it's arousing him too. He pulls me closer and drops his face to his favorite spot—the crook of my neck. After a few deep breaths, which is basically him smelling me, he peppers soft kisses down my shoulder and back up to just under my ear.

I can't help it and I moan softly. His erection, now fully hard and sandwiched between our bellies, pulses when he hears my moan. I press against it, letting him know I'm ready for more and he moves his face down to my cleavage. He smells me here too and actually groans this time. He's so weird sometimes. His enthusiastic smelling makes me giggle and he brings his head up with a grin.

"What's so funny?" he whispers.

I grin back at him and kiss his forehead. "You and your smelling."

"What? You smell good. I like when you're dirty; you smell even better."

"I'm not dirty! Oh my god!" I playfully try to struggle out of his arms but he tightens his grip and laughs.

"Not dirty…but we were sweating on the dance floor and you just smell so fucking good."

He dips his face down again and sniffs obnoxiously for laughs. Then he kisses my heart necklace and then my mouth. "I want to eat you up," he murmurs against my lips.

I lean into him for a kiss before pulling back slightly so I can see his eyes. I love his eyes. I love to watch them change with his mood. I watch them darken and dilate in lust as I agree with his desire. "So eat me up," I challenge.

He growls—or purrs, maybe. Either way it's deep and rumbly and it makes me hot. He gets up onto his hands and knees and straddles my body, smiling down into my face. "I fucking _love_ you," he says. He kisses me tenderly but deeply, letting his tongue play softly with mine. His chest is vibrating the entire time.

When he breaks the kiss he drops his lips down my neck and across my cleavage before he reaches behind me and takes off my bra. "I'm going to start by licking these beautiful breasts," he says, with his face right against them. "And then this little rosy bud," he says, as he breathes across it. He opens his mouth and licks before sucking lightly on my nipple. His chest rumbles again and I hear him say, "Mmm." I almost chastise him for talking with his mouth full but I don't want him to laugh—I want him to keep sucking.

I weave my fingers into his hair—it's gotten long since I've known him—and arch my back as he nibbles on my skin. Just when I start to pant and writhe, he moves his head. I open my eyes to find him staring at me. "What?"

"You're so beautiful, Sookie. And you're mine. And you're going to be living here in a week. I'm just so happy. You make me so damn happy."

"Oh, baby. You make me so happy, too. But stop or you're going to make me cry again." I smile as my eyes fill with tears, happy this time.

"It's okay to cry," he says and I feel a warmth creep into my chest because he didn't used to think that.

"Yeah, it is," I agree as a single tear makes it down my cheek. His eyes are filled with tears, too, but his don't fall this time. That's good, too. He finally feels a little better about himself, about his past, and he's so excited for our future.

He gives me a slow smile and then lowers his face to my belly and licks a wet trail to my other nipple. When he sucks that one into his hot mouth, my back comes completely off the bed at the sensation. I grab onto his head as he moves a hand to stroke me through my underwear. When he sweeps it aside to rub my bare wet flesh, my fingers tighten in his hair and my body starts to shake. An orgasm crashes through me, going from zero to _oh holy shit_ in two seconds flat. I can't keep my body still anywhere and that includes my vocal chords.

When he sits up grinning and sucking on his finger, I blush furiously and squeeze my eyes shut. I know I was loud and crazy. But heck, that was my first orgasm in almost two weeks! And maybe that's not all that long but this sexy fucker had me spun up all night with his hands and his mouth and his damn hips bumping up against me on the dance floor. When I hear him pop his finger out of his mouth, I open my eyes and he's still grinning at me.

"Round two," he says, absently pushing at his erection in his boxers. They're wet and I get the sudden urge to get my mouth onto him. I have never wanted my mouth on someone the way I crave him.

"How about your turn?" I ask, starting to reach for him.

"Nope. After, okay? I haven't tasted you in too goddamn long."

"You just di…" I trail off when I see this look enter his eyes. The look that says _I'm taking what I want_. The predator look. Of course, he would never disregard my wishes so he waits for me to smile before he scoots backwards down the length of the bed, tugging my legs with him. I giggle as I slide down the sheets in this familiar way. He likes to kneel on the floor, "for leverage," he says.

He pulls my underwear down my legs and then kisses his way back up one of them. He breathes over my center, groaning again and I smile because he's so into the way I smell. When he gives me a long approving lick, I am happy he likes his face here so much. I know not all men like it. Just ask Amelia—she swore off men altogether when the last one she dated told her he couldn't put his face down there because a vagina was like a gaping wound and he thought it was gross. I told her that maybe he liked dicks better and she said he was just an asshole. Though, if the looks shared between our four companions tonight are any indication, someone besides Pam might be getting a little (or big, let's face it—he's too big to be tiny) dick tonight. Since Tracy's never had any, I will guess Pam and Ames get to share Alcide and all three women can share each other. I might have seen a bit of envy in Eric's eyes when he realized his friend would be going home with three women tonight. I will take care of him though.

"Oh, God," I say as his mouth closes over my swollen flesh and he sucks softly.

"You were drifting," he says. He licks me slowly with a gently flattened tongue and my legs fall open as my mind focuses only on him. He licks again, the same slow path, and tingly heat radiates out from his tongue on my skin. The man knows what he's doing. Slow lick, swirling at the finish, and then a gentle suck. And again. By the time he does it a fourth time, my mind has gone all hazy like the alcohol from before has been reenergized in my system. My head feels heavy and woozy, like my eyes won't open—or if they open, they won't focus. I'm sex-drunk.

Eric groans and both the vibration and the thought that he really really likes what he's doing, sends a lightning bolt of sparking pleasure down my spine. My legs start to tremble and my thighs want to close around his head, pressing into his cheeks as his tongue creates a current of electricity that makes my muscles spasm. He hold my legs open though and he's much too strong for me to budge him.

As my back arches, he puts his forearms on my inner thighs and grabs my hands from his hair, holding them tightly down by my sides. He knows I will buck him off if he's not holding on tight.

As soon as I start moaning he focuses his movements and flicks lightly against my skin, ratcheting up the ache in my belly until it's an almost unbearable agony, but sweet—this is the best kind of torture. I pant, my belly tightening, my legs shaking. I squeeze his hands and he squeezes back and then suddenly I'm hit with this massive rush of heat. My thighs push up against his restraining arms and my chest heaves as my head whips back. My mouth opens but I can't make a sound. Every muscle in my body is dedicated to this sweet swell of pleasure and my lungs won't push any air out of my mouth.

Eric lifts his head slightly and we lock eyes. He smirks—so damn cocky because he knows he's good at this. I try to move my hands to grab hold of him and pull him up my body but he keeps his hands firm around mine and dips his head back down with a purr. The small surges of ecstasy haven't even stopped and he's urging me on to another orgasm. Which doesn't take long the way he sucks at me, moaning like he's having his own happy moment.

"Okay!" I pant, after my third orgasm of the night. "Please."

"Please?" He lifts his head to smirk at me again. Cocky bastard.

"You tasted me…thoroughly. Come and put that big cock in me, cowboy." Heck, he managed to hold on through all my bucking.

I can tell he's shocked at my words. He must think I'm really sweet because anytime an even slightly dirty word leaves my mouth, he's surprised and so turned-on.

"Mmm," he purrs. "Yes, ma'am!" He stands up and has his boxers down faster than I can sit up. As he starts to crawl on top of me, I stop him.

"Wait," I say with my hands on his hips. His erection is thick and dark, shiny with fluid on the tip. The poor thing has been hard all night. "That looks delicious," I purr, leaning down to lick him.

"Fuck," he breathes. His legs wobble and he braces a hand on my shoulder. When I let my lips slide down his head, his knees dip briefly and his fingers sink into my shoulder. "I'm gonna fall down," he pants.

Well, that's a pretty good compliment, isn't it? I pull off and grin up at him, winking at the dazed look he gives me. I push him back a little by his hips and he gives me confused puppy again. But I'm just trying to turn around so I can crawl up the bed, which by the low growl from his mouth, I can tell he likes.

Before I can reach the pillows, he grabs my hips and presses himself against me. His length nestles right onto my bottom and he moans as he slides himself along my skin. I feel him nudge my entrance and I push back slightly to let him know it's okay. But he slides his big hand from my hip, up my back to my neck and pushes my chest down onto the mattress. _Downward dog_ flits through my mind and that's my last coherent thought as I feel the hard length of him push into me until his thighs are flush with my own.

**ERIC**

Moving day! Sookie is moving in today and I couldn't sleep at all last night. I feel so ridiculously happy about this. I've been trying to downplay it all week both because Sookie had finals all week and because I don't want her to think I'm a total dork. I am, though. I'm completely out of my head about this. I haven't slept well all week because she was at school studying for her tests or writing essays. But last night I don't think I slept at all. I hope I don't crash early because I want to celebrate our newfound cohabitation.

I'm not just happy for myself but I am so fucking happy for Annika, who finally gets a full-time mom. Not that I expect Sookie to take over my care of my daughter, but Anni will get to see her all the time. She is still noticeably sad when Sookie isn't here so I can't even express how good it makes me feel to be able to make my baby happy. She didn't deserve to be walked out on by Sophie, but now she gets an even better mommy because there is no one better than Sookie.

I am way too goddamn jittery. Maybe I shouldn't have had that third cup of coffee?

"Pam!" I say through the phone. "Are you guys almost here?"

"Chill out, boss man. We'll be there in ten minutes. We were…delayed," she says, giggling.

"Eww!" I say, laughing. Though the truth is, it's funny for me to hear Pam giggle because she is not a giggly type person. "Hurry up! I haven't seen Sookie in a week!"

"Okay okay, Northman….what?…Alcide says you'd better not fuck her in his truck."

"Oh, ha ha! I can wait. No fucking until we're done moving her in."

"Yes, wait until we leave, please."

"Why? I thought you liked the group dynamic," I tease. Pam was all smiles when I asked how her night was with Sookie's—our—friends.

"Oh, groups are fun…I just don't want to see your naked ass in the air. That sex ship has sailed!" She laughs and so do I. Pam is like my sister and that's just…yuck.

"Yeah, no thanks!" I agree.

She stops laughing and says my name in a serious way so I stop to listen. "I'm really happy for you," she says, "I really like Sookie and I love how happy she makes you. You deserve it, Eric."

"Thank you. I _am_ happy." I grin like a fool, though no one is here to see it. Annika is still asleep but she should wake soon. Pam offered to watch her while Alcide and I take his truck to Sookie's to load it up. Pam offering to watch the baby is even stranger than her heartfelt words and giggles and I have been taking every opportunity to tease her about being in loooove.

"See you soon!"

She hangs up after my good-bye and I go upstairs because I hear Annika.

"Sookie…no, Mama. Mama's coming to stay with us today. Forever! We don't have to say goodbye anymore, princess." I kiss my grinning baby girl and change her into one of the pink outfits Pam got her that it's finally warm enough for. By the time I get her set up with some cheerios and milk, Pam and Alcide knock on the door.

"It's open!" I yell, peeling a banana for my girl.

"Ammm!" says Annika, really drawing out the mmm sound. She grins as she points to Pam, who smiles back.

"Did she just say my name? Do you know your Auntie Pam?" she asks, petting Anni's head as she tries unsuccessfully to scoop cereal into her mouth. Sookie says to let her try and I do…for a minute. I just don't like to watch her struggle even though I guess that's the only way she will learn how to feed herself with a spoon.

"Auntie Pam?" asks Alcide.

I grin and punch him in the arm. "You've turned Pam into such a girl. I don't know if you're good for her."

His eyes widen a fraction before they narrow. "Whatever. I just softened her rough edges… Though she's still plenty mean!" he says jumping away from her as she pinches the back of his arm.

"Watch it country boy. I still have my paddle!" She winks at him and he turns about five shades of red before he settles on scarlet.

"Ack, Pam!" I shout covering my ears. I walk into the kitchen shaking my head. "Coffee anyone?" I shouldn't have anymore or my body will be bouncing the way my mind is.

"I can make my own. You two get going."

"Yes, ma'am," says Alcide and I pretend not to see when she swats his ass.

"Great, thanks for watching her Pam. When she's done eating, just wash her face and hands and let her down to play in the living room. Make sure you keep the gate closed at the stairs, please."

"Sure. Does she need help with that?" She points to the upside down spoon in Annika's mouth that did not bring any cheerios with it.

"Yeah, though Sookie says to let her practice. I usually help her more than I should but do what you want. She'll let you know what she wants!" My baby is no pushover. She's gotten to be a pretty feisty toddler, which is cute but somewhat worrisome for what she'll be like as a two-year-old.

~~—~~—~~

By the time we pull up in front of Sookie's dorm, my leg is bouncing up and down like a fiend. Alcide turns off the engine as I text Sookie that we're here.

"You nervous, man?" Alcide asks.

As I look at him, I realize that there is no teasing in his tone. "I think I'm just excited as fuck. Maybe a little nervous," I admit. "But more excited."

"That's good. It's nice to see you happy."

"It's nice to see you happy, too. You are, right? Happy with Pam?"

"I love her!" he blurts. He gives me a shrug and then a smile. "I love her."

"Did you tell her?"

"Are you kidding? So she can laugh in my face? She still scares me even though she let's me be in charge sometimes."

"Okay, I don't want to hear anything about your sex life but my advice would be to tell her. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Uh, she could laugh in my fucking face. Or break up with me? Stop fucking me…there's a lot of shit that's worse than me not saying anything."

I want to laugh but he's really nervous so I don't. "I don't know, dude. I guess you have to figure it out."

Just then I hear a knock on my window and turn to see my angel smiling at me.

"Eric!" she says, jumping on me when I get out of the truck. "Moving day!"

She always makes me so damn happy! "Moving day!" I echo, grabbing her as she wraps her legs around me. I push her against Alcide's truck to kiss her as he slams his door shut.

"At least let me get outta the car before you fuck up against it!"

Sookie laughs and I let her down. She goes over to hug Alcide. "Thanks so much for helping me move, hun."

"No problem, chèr." He kisses her cheek and then looks at me, smirking. Ass.

"Great! Follow me, boys."

We follow behind and I check to make sure Alcide isn't watching her ass like I am. She's wearing these gray stretchy pants that she calls yoga pants even though I don't really think she does yoga. I love these pants because she feels naked when I grab her ass in them. And they are also very nice to look at from behind.

"Hey!" I whisper, when I can tell he _is_ looking at her ass.

He smiles at me and tries to look innocent. "What?"

"Quit it!"

"Can't help it," he whispers.

"You'd better!" I whisper-yell.

Without even looking back, Sookie scolds us both. "Both of you'd better quit looking at my ass."

We grin at each other. Busted!

It doesn't take us long to load up the truck. Sookie's dorm room is small. As I look at her bed, I realize she was right that we'd never have been able to have sex on it. I'd have fallen right off.

Sookie keeps squeezing my thigh on our way back to my—our—place and I'm trying really hard not to get, well…hard. I think my tired body is my only saving grace because her fingers are really close to my balls.

Unloading takes the same short time as loading when we get home. Sookie basically has clothes, books, and kitchen stuff. She and Pam unpack the bedroom stuff while Alcide and I do the kitchen boxes. By the time we are done, it's lunch time so we order some pizzas and crack open a few beers once Annika goes down for her nap. We toast to good friends and when I toast to love, Alcide nearly chokes on his food. Poor bastard.

"So, thank you again so much! Both of you were so nice to come and help!" Sookie hugs our helpers and I shake hands and then they are on their way. When I turn around from closing the door, Sookie is on her way up the stairs—naked.

_Fuuuuck._

"Oh my god, woman! Are you trying to kill me?" I quickly catch up with her by hopping the gate and taking the stairs three at a time. So much for being tired. I pull her into my body and groan against her neck. She always smells so fucking good. Her scent makes me hard faster than anything else.

"What?" she says, all innocence and sunshine. "I like to be naked in my own home."

Hearing her say that blows my heart up like a balloon and soon there will be no more room in my chest for it. "I love you so fucking much, angel. I'm so lucky you want to be mine."

She turns around and cups my cheek, running her thumb over my mouth. I love when she touches me like this. "We're both lucky, Eric. We're both so lucky."

That is the fucking truth! I grin and she beams back at me. "I think we're both about to get lucky, too."

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><p><strong>Hi guys! How's it going? I hope you are still enjoying this story. Just wanted to let you know it's winding down. Only a few more chapters left. Thank you so much, as always, for reading. I do love to hear from you if you'd like to drop a line and tell me what you think. :)<strong>


	57. Chapter 57

**Sorry it's been so long, peeps! My muse took a hit and it was a while before she would cooperate. I do have some new stuff over on my wordpress, though!**

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><p><strong>Eric POV<strong>

My eyes fly open as I feel a hand press down on my thigh and I immediately know it's Sookie. Then everything my body is feeling comes rushing to my mind and my head falls back to my pillow as I moan. I reach my hands down for her and run a finger down her cheek as I look at her with her head between my legs. Again. Every morning this week I have woken up like this. Can my life be more perfect? I think not.

"Sookie…oh…" My brow furrows and my eyes probably cross when I feel her tongue against the sensitive frenulum on the head of my cock. "Fuck…" I pant. My head feels heavy but I want to look down at her lovely mouth as she sucks me. She has the best mouth and I swear it's gotten even better this week with all these blow jobs. I think everyday it's better than the day before and I don't even see how that's possible.

She pulls off and smiles at me. "Mornin' sugarlump. Sleep well?"

I don't have words so I just nod as I watch my cock disappear into her soft warm mouth again. I can feel the trickle of her saliva as it runs down to my balls and then her firm hand as she pumps me.

She's wearing one of the tiny little gowns with the barely there straps and I can see her breasts sway with every movement of her body. I want to touch her, I want her underneath me and it's like a struggle in my head for which will win out.

"Sookie," I whisper. She looks up at me and I groan because it's the most perfect sight ever. Her gorgeous red lips stretched open around my cock and her big eyes looking up through her lashes. Damn. I wish I had a camera. "Come up here. Come kiss me."

"Uh-uh," she says, bobbing on my cock again.

I grin. "Sooookie," I sing-song. "Come straddle my face then. Come and let me slide my tongue over you. I know you're wet for me. I know sucking me off makes you so fucking wet."

She hums and tugs on my balls right as I'm about to say something else and my word turns into an embarrassing whimper that makes me cringe.

She slides off my cock with a wet slurping sound and laughs. "Aww baby, don't cry. I'll 69 you."

Grinning, I sit up and quickly grab her legs, pulling her across my chest upside down. Her head is still near my cock but her ass is right near my face. I can't help but to sink my teeth into the smooth round cheek of her ass as I slap the other side. She yelps and then covers her mouth so she doesn't wake Annika. She always manages to wake me up with just enough time for a mind bending orgasm before the baby wakes.

Before she can playfully scold me, I grab her thighs and pull her back to my mouth. I inhale deeply and groan. Warm, sweet, salty—she's divine. I love to lick her upside down like this. Her clit is at just the right place and I can suck on her so easily. I know she likes it too. She says my "little helmet" is fully on her tongue and she loves the feel of it.

She sucks and I lick and soon we are both moaning in orgasm. She collapses to the side and then lies panting with her face against my thigh. I reach down to rub my hand over her soft skin and she shivers with an aftershock.

"Hey, beautiful. Come up here and let me kiss you."

She turns with a gentle smile and crawls into my arms. I tilt my face down and kiss her sweetly. "Did you call me sugarlump?"

She laughs. "I think I did. I don't know. You're kind of like a little lump of sugar in the mornings. Your penis is sleepy and sweet…"

"Sleepy and sweet, huh?" I say, thrusting my semi-hard cock into the air. She laughs again.

"It's only sweet until you get hard."

"And then what is it?"

"Then it's fucking hot." She winks at me and gets off the bed to use the restroom. I groan as I watch her hips sway. She is fucking perfect.

Annika wakes up, so I pull on some track pants and go in to wash my hands.

"Hey!" Sookie says. She's on the toilet.

"Oh. I thought you were done. It's fine, I don't care."

"Um, well maybe I do! Get out!"

I smirk at her until I can tell she's not kidding and then I leave to use the restroom in the hall.

Oops.

Annika is trying to climb out of her crib when I get to her so I tell her sternly, "No, no! You stay in there until someone gets you!"

Of course her little face crumples and she falls dramatically onto her crib mattress. That doesn't bother me but when I reach for her, she goes limp on me and cries even harder.

"Mama!" she wails pitifully when Sookie shows up to see what all the fuss is about. Both of us stand shocked for a second just looking at each other, before Sookie springs into action and scoops up the tiny tantrum thrower.

She turns back to me, Annika's small head resting on her shoulder quietly. "Did she just…?"

"Yeah…" I don't know how to feel right now. My baby called Sookie Mama for the first time which is fucking amazing but she also rejected me for the first time. My emotions are swinging wildly from elated to really fucking hurt.

Sookie can see right through my smile and comes to hug me, sandwiching Anni in between us. Anni turns and holds her arms out for me. That's my girl. I take her and whisper apologies into her soft hair as she leans against my chest.

"You don't need to apologize to her, you know. You didn't do anything wrong, she's just a little dramatic."

"Well, I think I hurt her feelings. I could have been nicer."

"Eric, she was trying to climb out, right? That's dangerous. She needs to know it's not okay."

I take a deep breath and blow it out. "I know," I concede. I still hate for my baby to be mad at me.

Sookie suddenly grins and pets Annika's head. "But she called me Mama! How did she even know?"

I grin back at her. She's so adorably happy. "My guess is Haley since I told her the plan. Maybe she coached her?"

"Hmm…yeah, maybe."

She's still smiling as she goes to start breakfast while I change and dress Annika. We eat our eggs on toast and then I shower quickly, followed by Sookie.

I am in a constant state of heaven since Sookie moved in. Also, I'm probably always hard. But starting today we'll have company again so that will have to stop. Also to stop? Her walking around with only panties and a t-shirt on all the time, and letting me take her wherever we happen to be when I come wanting her. I'm only human and she is my biggest weakness. Luckily, she has been willing to take me on each time. She laughs at feeling my hard-on pressing into her but when I start to kiss her neck, those giggles turn into moans in no time.

But the sex isn't even the best thing about having Sookie home with me all the time. The best part is that she is so happy and relaxed. And she will be even happier now that Sander is coming back and her family is visiting to see her graduate.

"Sookie!" I call up the stairs for the third time. "We have to go!" Now that she has her entire wardrobe here it takes her much longer to get ready. Honestly, it doesn't bother me. I like it when she hurries down the stairs as I wait at the end of them and then I get to smack her ass as she runs by me. I love her ass. Her ass lives with me now. It's wonderful.

I'm not sure when this euphoric high will end but there are just so many many things I love about my life right now. And if you had asked me six months ago if I thought I would ever be this happy, I would have said no way. That Christmas, Annika's first, was a struggle for me. I had no family, no love, no motivation to even celebrate. What little I did was purely for Annika because I owed her at least a tree and some presents.

I can already envision what next Christmas will be like with Sookie here to make everything warm and magical. That's another thing. I never imagined even six months down the line before I found her. She has changed my whole life for the better.

I look up to see her racing down the steps towards me. She has her hair up in a messy bun and a pretty little dress on. I'm not sure if I like her hair better up or down. When it's down I can run my fingers through it but when it's up, I get unfettered access to her neck. I love her neck. Okay, I love every single thing about her.

"Wait!" she yells, turning and running back up the stairs.

Except maybe how long it takes her to get ready. "Angel, he's going to be waiting around the airport wondering where we are!"

She finally appears again and her sheepish grin makes me smile big.

"Okay, okay! I'm ready. I'm just so excited to see him!" I think she's more excited than I am and he's my brother. That makes me love her even more because she loves my family so much.

"Well, if you're so excited, why are you taking so long to leave?" I wink at her and she smacks my ass on her way by me.

"Hey!"

"What? Don't tell me you weren't going to do the same thing to me." She laughs and walks to the living room to grab Anni.

I follow, rubbing my backside. She hits hard! "Yeah, but smacking your ass is the only reward of waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs. Smacking your ass makes it all worthwhile."

"Aw, I'm worthwhile anyway," she says, kissing my cheek. I yelp when she reaches around to pinch my butt. She skips away and picks up Anni, knowing I won't get her back with the baby in her arms.

I walk up and kiss Anni and then whisper in Sookie's ear, "I am _so_ gonna get you later. You should start rubbing that ass now." I wink as she gasps and then gives me a heated look. She just kind of stands there as I grab Anni's bag and head for the door. "You coming or what?"

She laughs and heads toward me. "I am coming, yes. Now and hopefully later, too."

I grin at her. This is how it's been for the past week and it's so damn fun. She's done with all her classes and exams and papers. Her research is wrapped up and she is free and playful and happy. I love to see it. Her smile is bright and her mood is sunny. It's the best.

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><p><strong>Sookie POV<strong>

Living with Eric is the best! Unencumbered access to this gorgeous hunk of a man, I mean, what could be better? I walk around in my boyshorts all the time because I know he can't resist them. He sees them and his fingers start to flex with his need to touch me. He's like a big fish—or maybe shark—and those undies just reel him right in. It makes me giggle when I can lure him so easily to me. He comes to me already hard and everything.

But that's not even the best part to living with Eric. The best part is Eric's constant smile. I don't think I've ever seen him this happy. I can't even describe the feeling that goes through my body when I see his grin or hear him whistle while he cleans up or gets dressed. It's like someone poured warm honey over my heart and it's flowing over every part of me. I feel like I can breathe again; my stress is gone and it's been replaced by so many good things.

I can't wait to see Sander! I know this time will be so different from the last visit. For one thing, Sander will be staying for the foreseeable future so we won't be counting the days until he has to leave again. And the thing that makes me the happiest is that these boys managed to work things out between themselves by writing letters back and forth. I know Eric poured his whole heart into those letters and I'm sure Sander did the same.

I never saw Eric write one but I happened to see him read one and the raw emotion on his face worried me for a minute but by the time he got to the end of the letter, he was smiling through tears. He wiped his face and came for a long hug.

"Thank you," he said when he pulled back.

"For what?"

"Because without you none of this would have happened—Sander's visit, the therapy, our letters…"

"You did it," I told him. "You were brave and you got help. I just encouraged you."

"Yes, and I'm so grateful for it." He kissed me then and of course that led to other fun.

"Okay, we're here," says Eric, bringing me back to the present. We're already at the airport.

"I'm so excited to see him!" I say, unbuckling my seatbelt. We climb out and Eric reaches in for Annika. "Anni's excited too, aren't you princess? Who are we seeing?"

"Ander!" she squeals, clapping her hands with a huge grin.

She can't do the 's' sound but it's clear she remembers him and I'm sure she can't wait to see him either.

Eric laughs and puts his arm around me as we walk to the international flight terminal.

"You two are acting like he's a rock star or something!"

I pinch his side and he flinches and laughs again. God, I love that sound. "You know you're just as excited as we are to see your little bro. You just don't squeal."

He gives me his flirty smile and eyebrow raise combination, which is enough to make my heart beat faster. "You've just never made me squeal before," he says in a low voice close to my ear.

I laugh but in the back of my mind, I'm racing through everything that I can think of that might get him to make such a sound. Hmm, maybe I can ask Pam for some tips. I'm sure she's made plenty of men squeal.

By the time we make it to the terminal, Sander is just walking out of the customs gate. He spots us immediately which probably has a lot to do with the screeching girl in Eric's arms. It's probably not my arms waving over my head like a crazy person.

He beams a bright smile at us and practically runs to us. All three of us open our arms for him and we stand in a group hug for several long seconds. I feel like my family is complete now, which is odd considering I've only known Sander for a month.

Annika turns and grabs Sander's neck, obviously wanting to be in his arms, with which he happily complies. He says hello to her in Swedish, calling her a princess. I'm lost with what he's saying after that; my Swedish consists of very few words. But she answers his hello with a Swedish hello of her own that makes his smile brighten even further. He kisses her and then kisses me and finally kisses his brother, whom he hangs onto for a while.

"I see I'm the last to gain your attention," says Eric, with mock hurt and a sassy cross of his arms.

"You're just not as pretty," Sander answers. They crack up laughing and I feel like my heart is going to break right out of my ribcage and fill this whole huge space like an inflated balloon. This reunion is so much better than the one before when Sander was weeping and Eric was trying desperately not to.

"You hungry, Sander?" I ask, as we head out of the airport.

"Yes. The food on the airplane was not good." He turns to Eric and nudges his arm since he's still holding Anni, who will not let him go. "I brought you the stuff you wanted."

Eric raises his eyebrows and starts rattling off Swedish words that I assume are the names of the foods he asked for. I'm sure I'm in for a treat of fish roe paste and anchovies on toast sometime soon. Hooray.

"Yes. Yes, yes, yes!" Sander laughs. "All of that!"

Eric's eyes practically glow in happiness. His smile is the best!

"And Mamma sent some stuff she made. Is that okay?" His voice is quiet as he leans in to his brother. "And I have a letter from her."

My stomach quivers a little because I'm not sure how Eric will respond to this. I know it's been something he has worked on diligently since he was given the task by his counselor, but so far he hasn't felt comfortable with what he's been able to get down onto paper.

I watch him press his lips together and furrow his brow but he nods his head. "Yeah, that's good," he murmurs. I could cry I'm so happy for him, for all his progress.

Sander smiles, relieved. "Where should we eat? I would like something very American."

We're at the car now, so we load the baggage and get situated. Annika is clearly not happy to be sitting where she can't see her uncle so I pull out a snack to keep her occupied. Eric won't be turning her forward facing for quite a while even though she's over one-year-old.

"If you're not tired, Sander, we could go to the Common—you know, the big park—and walk around. There are always vendors with food and Annika could play on the playground. That way you and Eric can catch up while she's otherwise occupied. I don't think she will leave you alone if not!"

Both boys smile and Sander agrees to that idea.

"It's good to have you home," say Eric. Home. Yes, he_ is_ home.

"It's good to be home," says Sander squeezing Eric's shoulder.

I think I'm just going to melt with all these warm, happy feelings moving through me.

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><p><strong>Yay for the happy, lol! I am kind of getting tired of posting this in two places...if I moved totally over to wordpress, would you follow?<strong>

**Thanks for reading! I appreciate it!**


	58. Chapter 58

**Sorry for the delay! I have a few new things on my wordpress site- please take a look. :)**

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><p><strong>Sookie POV<strong>

We spend the late morning walking around the Common, eating hot dogs and Italian sausages from the vendor we spot by the T station. Halfway into the park, just by the huge playground, we find a man who sells Italian Ice and we each get one. Lemon for me and strawberry for both boys. Annika, of course, must taste each of them, deciding that she likes Sander's strawberry the best. But I suspect she just likes the way he zooms it to her mouth, making her squeal and laugh.

I watch them laughing with a smile on my face and look over at Eric who is watching them, too. He looks so happy to see them having fun together. Sander is a really good uncle and Annika is lucky. That makes me think about Jason and how, if I can consider myself to be Anni's mom, he should consider himself to be her uncle. I wonder how he'll feel about that. He'll be here with Gran tomorrow so I can talk to him about it.

Gran is so excited to come to Boston to see me graduate. She's never been this far North. In fact, she hardly travels. I'm not sure she's ever even been out of the South. It should be fun. Jason can't wait to go out in Boston and Eric is so excited to see him again it's funny. They really bonded by being drunken fools together.

Once we let Anni play on the playground until she's exhausted, we head home so she can nap and Sander can get unpacked and settled. Gran and Jason are staying at a hotel not too far from us since we only have the three rooms. Eric insisted on paying to upgrade their room, which after an initial refusal on Gran's part, he was allowed to do.

I'm excited to have my family coming to visit, excited to have Sander back, and excited to finally graduate. My life seems really good right now. I live with the sweetest man alive and his beautiful daughter, I'm finished with four long years of hard work and…I'm just happy!

Sander and Eric carry the suitcases upstairs while I carry a very sleepy Anni and put her to bed. She goes right to sleep and I walk out to find Eric coming from Sander's room. We go downstairs and sit on the couch while Sander unpacks a little.

"So, I suppose I'll be having to taste the fish roe now, huh?" He's been telling me about this paste in a tube for a while and I was always happy that he never actually had any to make me try. Now, of course, Sander brought some and I'll have to make good on my promise to taste it.

"Oh yeah, for breakfast! Toast, sliced eggs, Kalles kaviar," he says. He looks excited so I try to hide my feelings on the matter. He grins at me. "Don't curl your lip, I might bite it." He leans forward and kisses me quickly, which makes me smile. "Maybe you'll like it!"

"Mmm, I like _you_," I say, pulling him by the shirt until he's at my mouth again.

His hands dive into my hair as he slants his mouth and sweeps his tongue across my bottom lip.

"Already? I've been here for twenty minutes!"

We break apart, laughing, and both look over as Sander comes downstairs with an armful of food and a huge grin on his face. He sets his stuff on the dining table and turns back around holding a light yellow envelope that he got from his back pocket.

"This is from Mamma," he says, walking up to Eric, who has already stood up and walked to meet him. "She wasn't sure you would read it and she said that if you want, she would like to speak with you on the phone. If not, though, that's okay too. Just please read the letter, Eric. Mamma is…well, she just really wants to talk to you." Sander has decided to speak in English, even to Eric, to get used to it since he'll be in classes soon.

Eric nods and takes the letter that Sander hands to him and then just kind of stands there. He doesn't know what to do. I don't know what to do so I walk up and stand next to him, offering my silent support.

"I, uh…" he starts, and then just trails off into nothing. He's just staring at the envelope in his hands, rubbing his thumb over his printed name on the front. His breathing is heavy, growing rapid, as if he's readying for a swim in deep water.

I watch him for a couple seconds but it's killing me to see him like this. I haven't seen him this unraveled in so long.

Giving Sander a small look, I move to take Eric's hand. He still has the letter in his other hand but he drops it to his side and looks at me.

"Hey, honey, come upstairs with me, okay?"

He nods, big uncertain eyes looking back at me. But he follows me and when we get to our room, he sits with me on the bed.

"Do you want to read it now?" I ask.

He takes a deep breath. "I…if I don't, I won't be able to think about anything else until I do."

His voice is soft, full of sadness, and it makes my stomach hurt. Rationally I know that his mom wants to reconnect with him and especially wants to apologize, but the protective part of me- the part of me that has seen him deeply hurting because of this woman- is ready to fly to Sweden and murder her if she hurts him anymore.

"Okay, how can I help this be easier for you?" I know I can't do much, but I will do whatever he needs right now.

His face, as he looks over at me, breaks my heart and I just want to wrap him in a soft quilt and kiss his face until he feels better. "Just be here…when I read it, okay? Just sit with me?"

I put my hand on his curved back and rub slowly up and down. "Sure, I'm not going anywhere." This, him letting me comfort him, him seeking me out to help him through, this is major progress for him. This man used to run from any heavy feeling, any conversation he couldn't handle. And now he wants me next to him for support.

I try so hard not to cry, because I want to be strong for Eric. I'm here for him right now. I try, but one tear makes it down my face. Luckily Eric's eyes are back on his letter, his fingertips brushing over the large looped _Eric_ written on the front. I discretely wipe my face as he finally gets the courage to open the letter.

Carefully, so carefully, he runs his finger under the flap. It's clear that this paper is precious to him because his mom held it and wrote on it just for him. I watch as he slowly slides the paper out and unfolds it. I look at all the written words, all the little loops and fancy swirls—it's just like Eric's handwriting, and that fact makes me smile and somehow eases most of my anxiety.

The letter is written in Swedish, of course, or I would probably try to read it over his shoulder just to make sure she was saying good things to him. He smiles, though—just a small smile and my anxiety falls even further down.

I don't say a word and I try not to make even a sound as he reads. A single page, front and back, is what she wrote to him. It seems inadequate for the lifetime of hurt she caused him, or stood by and let happen to him. It seems paltry for everything his father did to him, said to him, and made him believe. Eric deserves volumes, encyclopedic volumes of apologies from her…but I suppose this is a good start. If Eric can forgive her, then I suppose I have to also.

He reads silently but his lips move as he stares at the paper. So far, he's okay. A few little smiles, a few furrows of his brow. But as he turns the paper over, and starts to read, his face just crumples and I wait for the tears that I know are going to come. And I hope they do come…Not because I want him to be sad, but because he obviously is sad, and if he can let go and cry, than maybe his father doesn't still have such a stronghold over him anymore.

He closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them, they spill over in tears. Tears stream down his face but he keeps reading. He makes no move to wipe his face or turn his head away from me, which he would have done before. He cries openly, weeps silently, for whatever his mom has written to him. When he gets to the end, he folds the letter again like it's made from the most expensive vellum and places it back in the envelope with ritualistic reverence.

Finally, he looks at me— tear-soaked lashes and wet cheeks. I look back, silently questioning whether he's okay. If it were me, I don't know that I wouldn't be up and throwing things around the room. I think I may be more angry at his mother than even he is. I'm not sure what he should be but I don't want to push something on him that he's not feeling. So I watch his face and just sit quietly while he finally wipes his cheeks.

Then he scoots close to me and pulls me into his arms, silently pushing his face into the crook of my neck. My hand comes up to pet his hair and hold him to my chest.

"Baby," I whisper, rubbing my hand up and down his spine.

His hands grasp my shirt in the back and his arms tighten and he's holding me so tight. "Thank you," he whispers. "You make it better."

And now I'm crying. I can't stop it this time but I try not to make any noise because this is about him and he will make it about me if he sees my tears. So, I just hold onto him. Just hold on and

give him the comfort of my body and my presence.

After a few minutes, his arms loosen and then he pulls back. He looks at my face, searching my eyes when he sees my tears. I smile at him and he smiles back and gently wipes my face, kissing my cheeks and my eyelids. "I love you," he whispers into my hair, drawing me close to him again.

"I love you too, Eric."

He straightens his arms to look at me and the love on his face steals my breath. He kisses me tenderly but deeply and slowly undresses me in the small spaces when his mouth leaves mine. We make slow quiet love on the bed, neither of us making a sound apart from soft moans and breathy I love you's. He lies with me after and whispers quiet Swedish into my hair with his arms wrapped tightly around me. I'm just not sure he could be any more perfect.

* * *

><p><strong>ERIC POV<strong>

Having my brother back under my roof is such a good feeling. Now when I look at him, I just feel happy instead of guilty or angry. It was hard for me to admit that I was angry with Sander because that anger made me feel even more guilty. But in writing letters to him, I was able to tell him how I felt without worrying about his reaction since I wasn't there to see it. I was kind, as kind as I could be in the letters but there were definitely some tough topics discussed through writing.

But that was good, because now that we are face-to-face, things are no longer awkward, I no longer feel that I have to watch what I say. Things are good. I have my brother back—things are great!

Sookie's family is flying in this morning and she is so excited to see them again. I am too, really. Jason is a good guy, and despite our rocky start we are pretty good friends. So that's another great thing.

On the way to the airport, Sookie is practically buzzing in the seat next to me. I can't stop looking over at her.

"What?" she asks when I smile at her for the thousandth time.

"You're just really cute right now. You're so excited and I'm happy to see it."

She beams at me. "I'm so excited to see them!" Annika laughs from the backseat and, man, things could not be more perfect.

By the time we get to the airport, Jason and Gran have already collected their baggage and are waiting on the curb. Sookie runs out to hug them while I get their bags situated.

"Now come here and hug me, young man!" says Gran, with her arms out for me.

Hugging her makes me think of my mom and I barely make it out of the hug with misty eyes. Sookie gives my hand a squeeze. After reading the letter from my mom yesterday, I feel a little bit fragile about her. I miss her. She misses me, too.

"Hey, man!" says Jason, shaking my hand. "We goin' out tonight?"

"Yes! Boys' night. Definitely!" Sookie rolls her eyes because she has already warned me multiple times that if we get arrested here, she will not be able to get us out of it as easily.

"Alright!" He pumps his fist and grins. "This is gonna be epic!"

"Jason Stackhouse, this will not be epic! This will be a normal night out and nobody is going to get arrested, right? Or get into any fights?"

Jason's smile disappears as he turns toward his sister. "As long as that Bill motherfucker stays away. Christ, Sookie, I don't know how come you never told me nothin' about him bein' such a jackass."

"Language, Jason!" says Gran with a stern look.

Jason mumbles an apology and then Sookie pushes him to get into the front seat while she and Gran sit on either side on Anni, who has not been happy about staying in the car for the past five minutes while we get everything loaded.

"Well aren't you an angel! You have just gotten so big!" Gran tickles Annika's thigh and her giggles fill the car, making us all laugh. "She's gotten so big, Eric! How old is she now?"

"I know it! Don't remind me! She's almost 15 months now."

Sookie smiles at me in the rearview mirror. "She's talking so much now, Gran. I bet you could teach her to say Gran."

We take Gran and Jason to their hotel and let them get settled, promising to drop by and pick them up for an early dinner. Sander really wants to meet Jason since I told him all about our drunken night of kicking asses in Bon Temps. I warned him gently that Jason takes some getting used to, and also that Jason is straight. Even I can appreciate Jason's charm and my brother might be feeling a bit lonely since Ahmed is not here. Apparently, Sander visited him in Paris right before he came here and he's trying not to show it, but I think he's sad.

Sookie decides to take Anni in her stroller to get Jason and Gran for lunch and when they get back, Sander and I have the table spread with food.

Gran goes right up to Sander and gives him a big hug which he returns rather shyly.

"You must be Sander," she says with a big smile. "Sookie's told me so many good things about you, young man. I'm just tickled pink to meet you!"

"Thank you," he says with a small smile. "It is quite a pleasure to meet you, as well."

Jason walks up to him and I fight the cringe working its way through me. He doesn't always say the right thing…

"Nice to meet ya, man!" Jason slaps him on the back, which makes Sander grin since he totally ignored Sander's outstretched hand.

"You as well." Sander makes a barely perceptible sweep of Jason's body and I can almost see the thoughts running through his head.

"So dinner is ready," I say, gesturing to the table. "Sander and I cooked. It's nothing like the wonderful food you have down South, but we wanted to give you a little taste of where we come from."

"Boston?"

"No, Jase, Sweden," says Sookie with sweetness in her voice that is there only because she grew up with him and is used to having to explain things to him.

As we all sit down to eat, I am reminded of the big Sunday dinner I had at Sookie's house in Louisiana. At that time, she and Annika were all the family I had and now as I look at all the faces around my table, I am almost overwhelmed with the feeling burning in my chest.

I have a family. These people love me and I love them. And I have my mother, even though she isn't here. She wants to be a part of my life again and I think I want to let her. I know it will take some time and I'm sure some tears but I think we can move past the hurt and try for a new relationship. I owe that much to Annika and to myself, really.

After the meal and a tour of my condo, which really takes about five minutes since it's not that big, we settle down in the living room to chat. After a while, I excuse myself and Sander so that we can change for our night out and call Alcide to make sure he knows where and when to meet us.

"He is pretty," Sander whispers as soon as we are up the stairs. "Like Sookie."

"And straight. And…well, you'll see." I like Jason, so I don't want to say that he's dumb…I mean, he's not. I just think he has a different kind of intelligence. He athletic and can build anything with his hands. He's just maybe not so good with words. Sander got a little taste of that over dinner but I think he just found it adorable.

Gran will be staying the night with Sookie tonight and they graciously agreed to allow us to crash at the hotel room after we get done partying. So once we leave, I won't see Sookie until morning. It will be my first time sleeping without her in a couple weeks. She doesn't want to sleep with my drunk self anyway so that's good for everyone.

After a kiss from Sookie and one from Anni, and a promise not to go to jail tonight, we head over with Jason so that he can get ready in his hotel room.

"Gotta look good for the ladies, right guys?" Jason says as he pulls his t-shirt over his head. He tosses it onto the floor and rifles through his suitcase to find something else to wear. I'm glad he decided to leave his jeans on.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," I answer.

He grins at me as he buttons the denim shirt he picked out. "Not you, Eric. Sookie'd have my hide if I got you into trouble like that!" He laughs as he toes off his boots and heads for the bathroom.

"Stra-aight," I sing-song to Sander who was staring a little too intently at Jason's naked torso.

He turns to me with a smirk. "I know. I would not be pursuing him anyway. Too much…family." He grins and I shake my head.

"Yeah, when I marry Sookie, he'll be our brother-in-law."

Sander smiles at me in a weird way. "I knew you would be marrying her," he says. "Do you know when?"

"I don't know…I want to ask her soon but I need the perfect ring. I know she won't want anything huge but I want it to be just right."

Sander's eyes light up and he looks like he is just about to burst with whatever he wants to say. "Mormor's ring!"

"Grandmother's ring? Oh…I forgot about that. It was beautiful wasn't it?" My heart does a funny triple beat at this.

"It is. Mamma has it. Pappa insisted on her wearing the one he bought but she still has Mormor's. She showed it to me. I think Sookie would love it!"

Wow, suddenly things seem so much more real. I might actually have a ring to give my angel. A beautiful diamond and sapphire ring with some amazing detail in the metal. But…"What if Mamma doesn't want me to have it?"

Sander gives me an incredulous look—brow scrunched, mouth open. "Are you kidding, Eric? Mamma would give you the ring, her house, all his fucking money…she just wants you to be happy."

"I don't want his fucking money," I mumble.

"Yeah," he says, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, but ask her for the ring. She will give it to you."

I am just about to answer when Jason comes out of the bathroom with his hair wet and slicked back, a huge grin, and some very liberally applied cologne. "We ready?" he asks, clapping his hands as if we are about to play a game of football.

"Yes," says Sander, smiling at him.

"Then let's giddy-up!"

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next one will be all the boys out on the town. There should be some fun shenanigans in that one. :) This always gets updated on wordpress first, so please follow me there for timely updates. Thanks!<strong>


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